Transcript of Is Deshaun Watson SURPRISED He Was Named The Browns' Starter? | Hour 2

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Let's get to a stat of the day.

Star of the day! Star of the day! It's here— star of the day! Start of the day! Start up today it is your start of the day! Start of the day! Start off the day that this year starts on the day part of the days started to be deep he did see his style every day but I'll beat Dave 'cause this yes time of the day according to Spotrak the largest cap hit in NFL history was Tua Tagovailoa at $55.5 million last year in 2025.

If the Browns were ever to cut Deshaun Watson this season right now, it would cost them $86 million as a dead cap hit for 2027, close to almost double what Tua's cap hit was last year as the highest in NFL history.

This tweet here a few minutes ago from Kyle Brandt. Has spent the last 5 years either bad, pouting, injured, or suspended, openly engages and antagonizes the fan base right after another poor showing. Less than 48 hours later, quote, you're our guy.

Bewildering.

Yeah, it's so weird.

Even if he won this on merit by a large degree, yeah, and you were headed with that decision no matter what, that press conference happens. I think that's a lose-your-job type of behavior. I think it was sabotage. I think there's nobody more surprised right now than Deshaun Watson. It's like, damn, my plan didn't work. I was trying to get out of here. You're saying he's like George Costanza using the Mickey Mantle jersey. He was trying to get fired. The World Series trophies behind him in the car doing donuts. Yeah, it's that meme from that Amazon Heroes show. Like, just smiling.

So over the weekend there was a new episode of that— is it called Game Over? Game On? The podcast with Rich Paul and Max Kellerman. Eh, whatever.

Stopped paying attention once LeBron decided to go to Philadelphia. And it's like, all right, no more bandwidth for Rich Paul's podcast. I can take that off of my plate. It was hard balancing that and World Cup.

Game Over.

Yeah, it is indeed game over for me. Do not care anymore. Keep having that podcast. Respect both of them. Like them both. Like them both a lot.

And they respect Dan.

And they respect Dan, which was like, I like him. Oh, I love that. I was like, all right, a little bit more on DraftKings Sports.

Well, I don't necessarily respect what we're doing here. Okay. And I want you to listen to this clip. So this is from over the weekend. On the latest episode where Peyton Watson— if you saw last week, Peyton Watson was a Clutch Sports client. Peyton Watson was traded in a 5-team deal from Denver to Cleveland. All right, other pieces, who gives a crap? But he was traded from Denver to Cleveland. He got paid, I think it's 4 years, $88 million. Here's Rich Paul telling us how it went down last year, which you may remember Peyton Watson, who's coming off of a really good final year in Denver did not play in the playoffs. Peyton Watson was moved for a business decision, and he signed a new— what is it, 4 years, $88 million?

Yes.

So he was a restricted free agent. You gotta remember, he did not finish the season. He didn't play in the playoffs. He was dealing with a hamstring injury, a soft tissue injury. And when you're dealing with those injuries, you have to be very careful in your return. Guys want to play. You have to protect them from themselves in that moment because You up for a contract and it's the playoffs and I've had a pretty good year.

Very good year.

Yeah.

So I need to play and it's important to protect that.

So Rich Paul is confirming what a lot of Denver Nuggets fans probably felt anyway. Rich Paul is confirming there they held him out. They held him out. He wanted to play. He wants to be there for his team. It's the playoffs. Denver is certainly a team that thinks they can win a championship. But as the agent, Rich Paul is stopping him from playing because he's on a contract year. And I just got to tell you, I don't know who this shit is for. Like, I don't know who this podcast is for. Do they think—

Anymore.

We know what it served earlier. It was for us, or we were trying to read tea leaves. But now, now LeBron picked a place, and I don't know who it's for anymore.

But who— like, who's— who is the audience for hearing agents tell players, be selfish, get your money, don't play because you might get hurt? And I understand from a business perspective, of course, that's the angle that you could understand Payton Watson taking, even if you don't like it. Who is it for to let everybody know, "I'm out here telling players, don't play with your team, don't help them in the playoffs because you're in a contract year and we want to make sure you don't get hurt." Like, is there an audience that hears like, "Hell yeah, Rich Paul, hell yeah, get your players the money, we don't care if our team ends up winning games." But I want all of our players to get paid because who the hell cares about my team winning? Like, there are people out there listening to that like, this is awesome, I love it.

Tom Habestro, boom.

Why do you say that?

My boy is interested in nothing but basketball stats, Illuminati style. He has his eye open, the third one that is, so I know he locked in.

I just like that Nuggets fans probably felt this way anyway, but now that makes like, that makes Nuggets fans crazy hearing that. Where— and I think, wasn't Aaron Gordon hurt the entire postseason?

His hamstring was off the bone in that Game 6.

And he's out there busting his ass, he's trying to play and help the team, and Rich Paul is shining a light and letting everybody know, hey, but my guy, I'm not letting him play, God forbid he gets hurt, you know. Well, Aaron Gordon is playing, you know, very hurt this postseason series while Nikola Jokic is going into the final year of a deal. You know, and Nuggets fans are probably worried, oh my God, like, are we going to lose him? But at least—

we're monitoring that situation.

We're monitoring it. We're monitoring Luka and we're monitoring Nikola Jokic and Anthony Edwards and, and Anthony Edwards and Steph Curry because we just signed Klay and Steph Curry. So if you see us creeping, it's not creeping, it's monitoring.

I think the Nuggets, they put themselves in this position though when they paid Christian Brown, uh, 5 years, $125 Payton Watson was like, oh, I know I'm next. And they was offering him a little bit less, kind of a lot of bit less. So I think that's why those decisions start being made, unfortunately.

And doesn't Rich Paul coming out and flat out saying this, doesn't that now give every Cleveland Cavalier fan ammunition that anytime Payton Watson has missed a little bit more time than you think that he should, it's like, oh well, you know, he, he doesn't play unless he's 1,000%. Like, they're, they're holding him out because we, we already know we got the bag already.

So maybe like in year 3 or 4 of that contract, that's when that starts creeping up. It's like, Wait a second, now he doesn't want to play because he wants to get that next contract?

Hmm.

I hate this so much. I do. I hate it so much that we're, we're so, we're so open about the idea of load management and, and, and forget about playing in the playoffs. It's all about me. It's all about the player. It's all about getting all of our money. When we, we know, unless you're a stupid fan, like We know this, but I don't want it thrown in my face. Like, why can't I still believe that players actually care about winning, that they care about their team, they care about their teammates, they give a little bit of a crap about the fans. But now we're just, we're so okay with throwing it in the paying customer's face where it's like, nope, I'm not allowing my guy to play because he might get hurt and it doesn't matter. If it ends our team season. That's the part I think that I have the problem with, is that we're so open about spitting in the customer's face. That's the part that bothers me the most.

Yeah, that bothers me about the All-Star Weekend as well, bro. It's like, come on, y'all. I know y'all getting all this money. I know y'all got stuff to do, but can y'all at least play a smidgen, right? Smidgen of defense at least. Come on, y'all.

Pretend. I can summarize— I, I could surmise behind the scenes what might be happening, But now we're doing podcasts and letting everyone know I'm not letting my guy play in the playoffs because he needs to make sure he gets his money and we're just good with it.

So the podcast is for us, not for me. What do you mean? You just did a segment on it, pal.

Not for me, dog. What do you mean? You're the one that brought it up. That's a no for me, dog.

Wow.

It's a yes from you. You could have ignored it.

I can't ignore it.

I guess you could.

Everyone needs to know.

I forgot the name already.

I have a problem with it.

It's Richard Mack.

So it was Homelander, the Amazon superhero show. I don't watch shows anymore.

You couldn't remember the name?

I know it's like a pop culture thing. I don't—

The show's called The Boys.

Oh, is it?

It's not called Homelander.

He's saying Homelander is the guy, right?

But he was trying to remember the name. He called it Heroes.

Yeah, no, I said Heroes. No, I didn't.

I said the hero.

No, I said the hero show. Follow up. Which, by the way, no one helped. All right.

No, no one.

No one knows.

What are you talking about? What other show about heroes is on Amazon?

I don't know.

I mean, you say heroes, I mean, I don't think superheroes.

I think of like, I don't know, firefighters, policemen.

You thought this was like a 911 El Paso? I don't know, the teachers.

Thinking about nurses. Think about the real heroes, right, Tony?

Fathers that stepped up.

I was thinking about Claire Danes.

Yeah, that's Homeland. Oh, what a show!

What a show!

Homeland!

You know about Brody?

What a show!

That first, that first season of Brody.

Hateable characters. Hated that main character. You really—

you hated Brody?

No, what—

what—

Claire Danes, whatever her character's name.

Ugly crier.

She just was the whole outside— maybe the first season she was fine. Outside the first season, the whole show was just, I hate her.

Zazz, when Brody is inside the bathroom in the Situation Room and he's got the bomb strapped to his chest—

how about when he's in the— in the bunker with all the guys and he's got the bomb strapped? How to do it?

He's in the bathroom and he's like, uh, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't watch shows anymore.

What a show. You don't watch shows anymore?

No, I don't have time for shows.

That's a weird take.

I had sports movies.

You see 1,000 movies. Okay, watch a show. It's the same thing.

No, it's not the same thing. Movie's over in 2 hours.

I watched The Invite, by the way. Mike talked about it.

Yeah, how'd it go over?

Uh, I watched it alone.

Oh, okay.

I was afraid.

Yeah, you should have been.

All right, so this is clearly a swinger situation, this movie, right?

Until Seth Rogen just Seth Rogans it up and messes up everything. Spoiler alert.

That's a pretty big spoiler.

Should I not watch this with my wife?

No, you should. Oh, my back! Especially given your brand. Your back?

Yo, I don't like what you're insinuating, dog.

What am I insinuating?

You know what you're insinuating.

That you have a brand?

I don't like it. I don't like it.

You know your brand. You may not like your brand, but you know your brand.

Plain t-shirts.

Yes. That's right. Don't I look— I look good in black today, right? That's a no for me, dog.

Mhm.

Yep. Speaking of shows, Anyone watching Lanterns with me?

I want to get into it.

Is it good?

No, Lanterns. Lanterns.

I am not.

No, you're not.

I'm getting around to Supergirl though.

Lanterns is good, man. Lanterns, the second episode—

if you're gonna spoil, I'm gonna leave.

Not gonna spoil. The second episode premiered on HBO Max last night. You should catch up. You should watch both episodes. Lanterns are good, right, Juju? That's a good show.

Good show. You know another good show? The Lioness.

Oh, everybody knows that.

Lioness, season 3 of Lioness.

Yeah, episode 3.

Wow. I like all— do I like all the Taylor Sheridan shows? I think I do.

He's on a roll. I think the last like 3 years he's been great.

How do you have time for shows? I don't understand it. You have children.

Yeah.

You like to play pickup sports.

I'm battling. Trust me, I'm battling.

I'm on shards right now. I got an online dynasty I got to tend to.

I got time, dog.

My brother stole my PS5. He never gave it back.

Oh, man.

Well, he's a bootlegger. Yeah, I don't like him.

Dan Levitar.

The Packers win or the Bears lose? Bears lose.

Jonathan Sasslo.

Shitty, you want to know how that—

what were the kids doing?

They say L'Interdit de l'avatar show.

Landry, it's a good show. Kyle Chandler, you know, Friday Night Lights, Coach Taylor.

What a coach.

Early Edition.

He played—

what's that?

Early Edition. You remember that CBS show?

No.

That's the first place I ever seen Kyle Chandler.

Is that news?

Yeah, he got the Chicago Sun-Times a day early.

Oh, what a cool—

and solved the, you know, crime. Yeah, my grandfather was a big Nash Bridges guy.

Oh, I like that too.

Don Johnson.

Yeah.

And they would occasionally show— I think my grandfather was like, "Look at this show!" But it was a show with a heart. It was like borderline Christian, kind of like Savannah Bananas. Not overtly Christian, but Christian.

Just enough.

Like Savannah Bananas.

So Kyle Chandler plays the OG Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, you know? And this show, it's canon with the new DC Universe, so I dig it like that. Uh, like I said, they're only 2 episodes in, but they're— Hal Jordan— it takes place over 3 different timelines. Hal Jordan is— he plays the OG— how— Kyle Chandler plays the OG Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, and he's training Aaron Pierre. Yeah, has he been in other stuff?

Oh yeah, Mufasa, come on, bro. Aaron Pierre is the man in the other America.

I don't know that I've ever seen him in anything else. I always like when you're watching the show and he plays an American, but I think he's British in real life, right? So you hear his real voice like, "Whoa!" That's always weird, right? You know what I'm talking about. How do you make your voice sound like that?

You remember Stone Cold Steve Austin on Nash Bridges?

I do, recurring character.

Yeah, you know what his name was?

No.

Jake Cage. Good name. He would dress up like— you remember when like Triple H would get hurt and he would get like in the ring and then he would go away for a couple weeks. Yeah, then he would come back with a sledgehammer dressed in denim but with a little bit of leather. Yeah, that's how Jake Cage would dress.

Yeah, I like it.

And so Hal Jordan is training another guy, his name is Jon Stewart, not to be confused with Jon Stewart.

Jon Stewart's in the show?

Who starred in Big Daddy. But he's training this guy Jon Stewart to be a Green Lantern, and they're trying to solve— they're on Earth, of course, because Hal Jordan protects Earth, and they're on Earth trying to solve a case. It's been a big mass murder.

What?

And that's the show. It's a good show.

So it's a detective show, essentially?

Yeah.

Yeah, they're using the Lantern as like a device to solve—

just kind of fire. All right, just let me know what happens. Yeah, no, it's just Just come out with movies.

I used to know someone, I used to know someone who they liked when I would tell them what happened in the show or the movie, and then they would decide if they want to go watch it. Like, like the ending, everything. Tell them everything that happened, and that would determine whether or not they want to go and watch it.

Started doing that with the coffee table. I realize people don't appreciate that surprise.

No, people don't appreciate it, but the way that it unfolds is still interesting. You need a heads up. That's a no for me, dog.

It's a curious way to phrase that.

Did you see though, Mike Ryan, you see what's a big hit on streaming service right now?

Thought of you. I don't know how to quantify this. Maybe someone can, uh, quantify this for me. But the most streamed thing, most streamed piece of content, that includes your beloved TV shows and movies—

is it Prime?

The most in all of streaming is Masters of the Universe.

But it's on Prime, right?

It's on Prime. Over a billion minutes streamed.

This is not surprising for a second to me.

I don't know how to quantify 1.1 billion minutes streamed in, in terms of what that means for people, but that's really impressive.

And I'm not just saying it's not a surprise to me because I love that movie, but that movie was always a lock to be a huge streaming hit.

Okay, so I've calculated a billion minutes is 16 million, 66, uh, 16 million point 6 hours.

No, I don't believe anything you're saying now.

600, 694,000 days. It's 1,900 years.

Saying numbers.

All right.

So from the year zero to the year 1,900.

I need it quantified in terms of people. Oh, okay. Like, like I want to basically talk this out and find out what that would mean in box office terms.

And next time you speak, have it make sense.

Okay. Yeah.

I want to, I want to see what that means at like $20 a head. To see what this would have made at the box office if we're just using streaming.

This is very exciting though, for me, because this has to mean they're going to move forward with this Masters of the Universe world, right?

Well, the reports are already Amazon as a studio wants to push forward with a sequel.

Good.

And because you can't have those post— that post-credits scene and not give me a sequel.

Zagac. And the good news is the way that they did Skeletor You can— you don't have to bring Jared Leto back, right?

I feel like you don't want to go to the well too many times with Jared Leto. You got away with it in this movie because everybody knows he sucks. Yeah, you got away with— he actually had a good performance and the movie was good. Do you wanna— do you wanna test your luck?

But then new data came out, and Todd Monk and should have learned from Masters of the Universe because I'm pretty sure Shador is going to be Skeletor. Let's just say that. And it seems as though this is one of those old school things without video stores anymore. There used to be a place where movies that weren't profitable at the box office would recoup that with home releases and gain in popularity to the point that they would spawn sequels even though they bombed at the box office. Zoolander being a famous example of that because it came out during 9/11. And everyone caught up with it during home releases. Streaming now being a place where a movie like Masters of the Universe, which had an awkward marketing scheme a little bit too, didn't know exactly, do we want to be a new thing or a nostalgia act?

I had no idea if it was going to be any good, and I desperately wanted it to be good.

I—

you are the person that made me want to see this because you are a Masters of the Universe psyop. You have to be. You have to be on the take. It's just crazy how much you've talked about this, but it was certainly something that I wanted to feel out because I couldn't tell, is this movie going to take itself seriously? I couldn't tell what it was from the trailer.

Now it's a perfect tone.

It was exactly what it should have— I don't know how that, that wasn't conveyed in the trailer. I think it would have—

movie was just like the cartoon.

Yeah, but yes, which is what people want to see, and clearly to the tune of, uh, a billion minutes Can we quantify this in terms of people?

We're gonna try this again.

Yeah, we can. So a billion minutes at 140 minutes of runtime, right? So we're doing that division equals about 7.14 million full movie viewings.

All right, what does that mean?

So if 7.1 million people saw the entire movie, all right, right? So at $20 a head, we're looking at $143 million.

How many watched only half the movie?

That doesn't equate.

So if If you had the lantern, you could know.

So $143 million in additional box office. That's a huge hit.

Your head hurts, doesn't it, Tony?

No, because the question you asked, I was trying to do the math on that. So if, if only people watched— if some people watch half of it, I don't know how that would equal.

But, you know, I'm excited then, man. Like, I need more Masters of the Universe movies. And like I said, get it. Like I said, no-brainer that that movie was going to do so well streaming. Because it's got to be so many households where, you know, maybe you don't take your kids to the movie theater all that often, but, you know, watch, you know, watch He-Man at home.

You can't exist in America these days without Prime.

Especially it's one of those movies that your parents grew up on.

Yeah.

So they want to show the little kid, and then once the little kid sees Skeletor, oh, play it again, play it again, let it on loops.

But I told you, I took my son, I took my younger son who's a teenager, and I also took my cousin's kid who's, uh, a teenager. They didn't know anything about He-Man. They loved it.

But the Dolph Lundgren scene didn't connect with them the way it did with you.

I had to say, hey, that's the older He-Man, you know. Yeah, but after that, Drago doing here.

Yeah, yeah, they did not say what's Drago doing here. There's no way.

Maybe from Creed.

Yeah, yeah, because Drago's son. Yeah, did they know about Drago?

I'll tell you, that scene in Creed 2, right, that scene in Creed 2 where Drago shows up, he's waiting for him at the restaurant. Yo, there's someone here who says he knows you.

Electric Creed was great.

It's a great—

that's a great scene on Letterboxd. 5 stars for me.

Oh really?

Yeah, it's hard to— it's hard to earn 5 stars from your boy.

I was gonna say, you give out 5 stars on Letterboxd all willy-nilly?

No, either—

because I give out 5 stars a little bit willy-nilly.

I just saw a movie in the theaters. I don't give it— no, no, I don't do willy-nilly. I just saw a movie that I really enjoyed at the movie theater. Sneak preview of Coyote vs. Acme. Oh yeah, here we go.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

3 stars, which is really good. 60%. Yeah, that was a— that's— I gave it 3 stars. I really enjoyed that film. It's— have you— you know the story about this? You can tell it was filmed.

Yeah, the coyote is trying to kill the roadrunner.

Yes, right.

But I think there was a— so I stayed for the credits, and apparently this whole thing was based on like, I think, an article in The New Yorker where someone was doing the hypothetical of all the Looney Tunes filing a class-action lawsuit against ACME because of how defective the products are. So it's actually a really funny idea.

That's what this movie's about?

Yeah, like Wile E. Coyote is finally done with how defective all these ACME products have been.

You're being serious? That's the plot of the movie?

Yes, it's a great— it's a brilliant plot.

That's funny.

So he gets Will Forte, who's this like TV attorney that only settles, and he's gonna go with this this attorney to take down ACME, which is the biggest company in the world. And like the front-facing dude from ACME is Foghorn Leghorn. But the attorney for ACME is played by John Cena. And you can tell this movie— because this movie was supposed to be released, but with all the mergers, Warner Brothers actually said they were never going to release it. Like that Batgirl movie that's just never going to get released. That was the fate of Coyote vs. ACME. But there was a huge groundswell from both the people that participated in this film that felt like, hey, this is a really funny movie, it should see the light of day, and a bunch of Looney Tunes fans that wanted to see this movie play out. They finally got their chance, their voice was heard. You can tell it was filmed a very long time ago from how John Cena's teeth look.

And so it's a Who Framed Roger Rabbit kind of deal?

Yes, but it's also part courtroom drama.

Oh, so a little bit of Law Order mixed in.

Right.

Right.

Although it was—

Mississippi burning!

Although, like, the intentions of Wile E. Coyote unfold, and that's also very funny. Wile E. Coyote is hilarious in this movie, which, as you know, it's hard for Wile E. Coyote to be hilarious because he doesn't speak, famously. But they use that into such a win. I love this movie. It was a great children's movie. My daughter loved it. She's starting to get into the Looney Tunes a little bit. She's seen like 3 movies recently: The Mummy, um, George of the Jungle, and Looney Tunes: Back in Action, and she thinks Brendan Fraser is the biggest star on the planet. She's like, this guy's in everything. So we saw Coyote vs. Acme, which was like a special sneak preview engagement. I think it's coming out this week. Highly recommend. It's a great waste of time. Look, I'm not telling you to be that guy that sits by himself in a children's movie. But if you like Looney Tunes and if you're of a certain age, you'll enjoy this because it's rated PG, but it's for the grown-ups too. I was laughing, I enjoyed it. Got a kick out of it.

Dan Levatar.

I got a Slater scoop.

Chris Cody.

He fucked us.

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

Speaking of kick, how about that?

You're getting better.

How about that?

I'm 1 for 2 today. Speaking of kick, Harrison Butker. Everyone loves Harrison Butker.

Go on, American patriot.

That's a no for me, dog. Harrison Butker made a 69-yard field goal this weekend just before halftime.

It's a waste in the preseason.

Nice.

Well, what, you think he can't muster up that energy?

Doesn't mean the same. If that happens week 1, I'm like, that is really cool. Does nothing for me in the preseason.

Well, a minute before that, he made a 58-yarder. All right, so in the span of— what are we talking, a minute and a half? He made 127 yards worth of field goals. It's amazing. So he made a 69-yard field goal just before halftime. Preseason record. Preseason record. Now, most people would celebrate that, like, this is an incredible feat, love it. I'm here to tell you I hate it. I'm so done with these long field goals. I'm being, I'm being, I'm being serious. I hate these long field goals. Kickers are too good nowadays, which makes sense. Bigger, stronger, faster. It happens at every position. Why wouldn't it happen to kicker too? Kickers are too good these days that I don't know if you remember, but when I was growing up, if a kicker was attempting a 50-yard field goal Holy moly, does he have the distance? You know, now, now a 50-yarder, that's nothing. Matter of fact, anything less than 50 yards, kicker should be 100%. You have every game now a kicker is attempting a field goal in the high 50s, sometimes even 60 yards, every game now. And, and they make some of them.

This is your lane, the anti-long field goal lane.

I hate it. It is. It's enough already.

They—

and I have a solution. I'm just— I'm not just sitting here and complaining with no solution. I have a solution. It's time to narrow the field goal posts. They're too wide. These kickers are too good.

I—

nowadays, a team— here's what happens all the time, and this probably is what happened with Harrison Butker there, because imagine 69-yard field goal. Means that he kicked the ball from the Chiefs' own 41.

All right, that's a bomb.

From their own 41 means he kicked it.

That's where you punt from, so pin a team down.

So, so they could have received a punt, you know, inside the 10-yard line. One completion and you're in field goal range to end the half. It used to be, you know, you, you get up, you get the ball off your kickoff or whatever, put a drive together. Yes, yes, you got to complete 4 or 5 passes.

That's unfair with Patrick Mahomes as quarterback, that's unfair.

Now, one max two passes. So imagine this, it's the end of the game, not even in the half, it's the end of a game. Your team's got the ball, they're down by 4, so they need a touchdown, right? They put— your team puts together a 10-play, 85-yard drive touchdown, take the lead, they go up by 3. And all the other team now has to do, you're gonna complete one pass up the middle, timeout, let's kick a game-tying field goal. The point that I'm making is too many games are being decided with the stupid field goal. I want the game— I want the game to be decided with the 10-play 85-yard drive, not with the field goal, because the kicker can kick from 65 to 70 yards.

Do you like seeing things you've never seen before?

Sometimes.

Okay. Have you ever seen a 69-yard field goal?

No, but it's happening too often. Like, it doesn't need to be a record.

69-yard field goals—

it doesn't have to be a 69-yarder.

Seems a lot like the 67-yarder I've seen though. I'm not really seeing the huge difference.

I, I hate that you could just kick a field goal at the end of the game and tie the game. And I'm not going to go the route of kickers aren't real players, kickers aren't real people, they're not real football players. But I do, I do want the actual football to mean more.

Sure, but just trotting the kicker out in a late game, last second situation, they're going to try out the kick and you're going to be like, oh my God, there's no way that he can hit this. And then he lines up for a 69 yard field goal, and it is so far you're like, there's no way, there's absolutely no way. And with Butker especially, he does that thing where like he kind of falls at the end. So like he'll put everything he has into the kick and then he kind of falls, and for that thing to go floating, floating, floating, floating—

oh, just over—

it's crazy.

I hate the idea of you only leave the other team 25 seconds, you know, but it's like, all right, we only need to complete one pass, 25 seconds. It's more than enough time. I want real football to decide the games, not kicking a really long field goal.

I forgot, is it against the rules to put a Mutombo figure, uh, it is.

Okay, at the goal, at the goal post. We talked about that.

Oh, that'd be amazing. I never thought about that, right? You can't do that?

No, brilliant minds have already thought about that. They said no.

Why can't you do that?

Because you can't.

I don't know, they should put—

they can't block it.

And we would talk about that on the side. And have the ball bounce off of it.

Now that's interesting.

So no one's ever thought of that.

So if you're playing it off, right, like in arena football, they have the thinner things, but they have the— No, no, I'm saying arena football has—

That's not a thing.

They have the narrow— they have the narrow goalposts, but they have the nets on the side so that the ball doesn't go in the stands. But you play your guy opposite.

Do you ever go see the Miami Hooters?

And he's waiting.

He's like, ah, the Miami Hooters. There was a team, an arena football team down here in Miami. They were called the Miami Hooters. And yes, it was named after like Hooters. Yeah, it's like the Miami Flanigans.

Yeah, they had the owl. The owl was like the mascot in one of those inflatable—

but here's what most people don't get. Hooters look like boobs.

Yeah, keep talking.

And while this restaurant was famous mainly for this, the white scrunchie socks, that's what it is, they also would accentuate some physical features. And then we were like that. And I learned this— Twin Peaks, same thing.

Yep, but like a lumberjack theme.

Yeah.

They celebrate lumberjacks in there, bro. I think you got it wrong.

Oh, there's one with a kilt that I think works the other way.

Tilted kilt. Yeah, I've heard.

Is it with dudes? You've heard?

I'm not saying that the field goal posts have to be as narrow as arena football, but how are girls tilting a kilt?

Just wearing kilts, man.

But then they're skirts. Yeah, but the kilt gets tilted with—

all right, well, it's kilt only for men.

That's my question. We're gonna offline on this one.

All I'm saying is, in every other sport, when an aspect of the game becomes too easy, you make adjustments. And making field goals is too easy. Bring the field goal posts closer. Be so— in college, and I'm not saying you need to have the hash marks that are, you know, far apart, but in college, kicking field goals is— that's a, that's a ride. That's a wild ride.

Look, Chris has a Rare Tuesday Chris idea.

What do you think about cheerleading style, you, you flick someone up into the air to defend the field goal.

Yeah, I'm okay with this. I didn't even know that you can't do that.

I'm cool with anything.

I'm sure you can't do one flyer, two base babes.

Yeah, that makes you less like— you can only have 11 people on the field.

Oh, so you're saying like cheerleaders do it, so the cheerleaders are kind of part of the game?

I like this, I like this.

Okay, what about the Brad Williams character that's getting hurt?

I didn't want to be the one to say it to you, but I'm with you. I didn't want to be the one to— because coming from me, it's like, now I don't want to be the one to say it.

Now, when hurled up into the air, Brad's not going to have as much reach.

Look, look, it could be Brad, but it could be a 6-foot-5 guy. You choose who you want to hurl in the air.

Keep Brad for the fourth and inches when you got to just toss them over the line.

And you come up with different kind of strategies. Ah, you know, this team here, they like to block the kicks this way.

Can you imagine how wild that would look? Dude, just like two offensive linemen lining up behind the quarterback who just puts it in one's belly. They give it to Brad. They both get low.

Yeah.

Explode. Brad flies through the air.

I've got it where the play starts and like some guy emerges and Brad is standing on his shoulders. So he like starts the play like 6 feet elevated.

But you know, the defense is like— the offense is going to be one year ahead of the defense, but I can't wait for the adjustment for from the defenses where they're like, all right, we're also gonna throw somebody at Brad.

Yeah, yeah.

And they get there.

And what size is their guy?

Mid-air collision.

What size is their guy? They're throwing the same size.

Same size becomes like a penalty kick situation. Am I going left? Am I going right?

Which way? Wow, wow.

It's like that, that viral league where— that's just a concussion league where two people just run at one another. That seems dangerous. Yeah, let's throw them at one another instead.

Yeah, there won't be as much torque if you're throwing. You're not gonna give them a whole like head of steam, you know what I'm saying?

I get choked up just thinking about it too.

Yo, just play on, dog.

This is a thing with you.

Whatever.

Are you aware? Are you aware that you are broadcast talent whose voice chokes up on him occasionally?

Fuck!

How have you ascended so, so far?

Yeah.

With this being like, that's, that's honestly detrimental.

Pretty privileged.

Oh yeah, yeah, eyes up there, eyes up there.

When you have this face, you can get away with a lot. Oh, I'm telling you, man, I'm tired of these long field goals. I love kicking in college. You have no idea if the kicker is going to make it.

Well, why don't you just— that's exciting. Why don't you just put the hash marks wider?

No, see, I would be—

because that's That's—

that—

I know that the kickers aren't as good because you're getting the best of the best in the NFL.

No, but still, the hashes being wide is a major difference.

Yes, it makes it catch longer.

But, but the reason that I don't want that in the NFL is because the play can also start like a regular first, second, third down starts on that hash, and then it's like you have a third of the field over here and two-thirds are on this side. That's kind of bullshit. What do you mean? Yeah, that's like—

that's kind of bullshit. Yeah, you mean to tell me you're sitting through the college football playoff And a play goes out wide and you're like, ah, that's bullshit.

Yeah, but that's college. That's college though.

What?

Yeah, but that's not an NFL thing.

That's fine.

I got to go short side of the field.

Yeah, having a hash on the short side, like that's— Nah, it feels too gimmicky.

I got to tell you, there hasn't been one time during the field of play where I'm like, wow, that hash mark really reared its ugly head.

Yeah, because it's a college thing. You're used to it.

I think you're overthinking this one, pal.

You're underthinking it. No, I'm not. You know about that underthink?

I'm not underthinking it.

I didn't know that.

So there's a scenario in which you see a halfback toss and you're like, well, that, that would get 4 less yards in the NFL, but he had all this room to work with, and that's bullshit.

Yeah, it's not an NFL thing is all I'm saying.

You have—

you—

we just talked about throwing little people at one another in the air.

I know. Well, that's—

and you, you get— you You bought into that. Yeah, but wide hash marks is where you draw the line, literally.

I'm okay with— I'm okay with trying new things, all right?

But you don't want to try the thing that exists in college.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's too far. That's a no for me, dog. Yeah, not into it. Some things have to stay college. Leave college football alone, all right? Come up with your own thing, NFL. That's shortening— that's narrowing the field goal posts, all right? 69-yard field goals. Get out of here. Don't need that. I don't like it. Whatever. I want real football to decide, to determine how these games end.