Transcript of David Samson is Back, Jack! | Hour 1

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Oh yeah, there he is. Look at him. David Sampson makes his triumphant return here in his regular spot on Thursdays here on the Dan Lebatard Show. David, you're looking good. It's good to see you. How's it going, man?

Thank you, guys. It's good to hear all of you and to see all of you. I, I appreciate you all more than you know. It has been a rough stretch, to say the least. And there's a lot going on, and I don't want to dwell on it too much other than to say that I, I think about you guys a lot. And I could not have— your audience and your— all of you, all of Metal Ark, all of DraftKings could not have even approach the possibility of making it through any day without all of you. So thank you.

Now, David, you went on a trip through Europe, and before you left, you told me— I said, "Oh, where are you going to be staying?" He said, "Hostels." And I thought to myself, "Really?" There's not a single human being on the— maybe Juju might be the only person I would say would never stay at a hostel.

I've stayed at a hostel, but I would never do it again.

Well, I mean, but you're a regular person. You're talking to David Samson, noted germaphobe. How did you manage through the hostels of Europe?

Oh my God, I still have a cough from the guy in bed number 30 who, uh, wouldn't stop snoring and farting.

How big was the room? How, how many beds were in the room you were sleeping in?

So I had 14 nights of hostels, and, uh, sometimes you're with 30 people, sometimes with 10, and sometimes with 8, sometimes with 20. It's a shared bathroom, shared showers. Oh my God.

Oh, Greg, so you've never stayed in a hostel?

I have never. They run out of hotels in Europe? What happened?

Well, I would— I walked the Camino, which is something Dave Lebittar did actually, and it's something that people do. It's a very spiritual pilgrimage. I walked 177 miles from Portugal to Spain, and you carry all your stuff, you wear a backpack, and every night you are in a hostel. It's called an albergue, and you are with people who are just extraordinary, and everyone is talking and telling stories and talking about why they're there. And I was there to try to come to grips with what happened with my daughter after she passed away. And everyone has their own story and you share everything, which to me was something extraordinary and spiritual and uplifting. And I leaned in. The only way I can say is that night one, I didn't sleep at all. And by the 14th night, I could sleep, you know, 2 hours, 3 hours. But you sleep with earplugs, you sleep in a mummy sheet because they give you paper sheets that cover a mattress that you would never raise a blue light to. But everybody is— it's, it's €15. That's the cost. But you're on this pilgrimage and you're— it— gentlemen, I can only tell you that if you have the opportunity to do something that is so outside your comfort zone and you can embrace the discomfort, that is where the growth lies.

And I was able to embrace it in a way that no one in my family thought I could. No one in my immediate circle or even in my extended circle thought I could, and I did it. And I thought I would have this great epiphany. I thought that I would finish in Santiago de Compostela at the beautiful cathedral and that somehow the light of God would shine upon me and my gaping wound would somehow be scarred. And it didn't exactly work that way. But it was an experience that I am incredibly sorry that I had to do, but incredibly thankful that I did.

David, without knowing the circumstances as to why you did it yourself 20 years ago, the idea of staying in hostels, you would have said what?

No chance. There's no chance. If it doesn't have a 4 in front and a Seasons after, it's going to be difficult for me to stay. And, uh, the end of the trip, I went to Italy after I'd finished staying in hostels, and I did stay in a Four Seasons, the White Lotus Hotel.

Oh, nice.

And I only flex that to tell you that the dichotomy of one to the, to the next was so striking, and I ended up more comfortable in the hostels.

Really?

The people around me were more interesting, though. I mean, there's a story to be told that I was in the pool in Sicily and someone came up to me and said, "You're David Samson in the pool?" And I said, "Yes." And he said, "Well, I work in the NBA. Is there any more that you, Pablo, and Amin have?" Right in the middle of the White Lotus pool. That actually happened. And it was such a jarring because on the Camino, there's no talk of aspiration, there's no talk of PTFO, there's no talk of anything other than being present in what you're trying to do at that moment. But then you're in the pool and someone says that to you, and a very nice guy, it turns out to be, but just amazing how the NBA is on its heels listening to us as we cycle through Pulitzers and Edward Murrow words trying to figure out. As they are, what we are doing next. And I smiled because that afternoon I did a show with Pablo.

Yes.

Which I was supposed to do in person, but there was a volcano erupting and flights got canceled, yada yada. I was recording remotely from my room because Pablo, of course, would not take no for an answer. And I said to the guy, just spoiler alert, we're about to record another show. And his tanned body turned white.

Wow. They got—

just off the heels of that, David, what did you make of the whole— not kerfuffle, but the disagreement that happened in the media and reporting where ESPN comes out and says the NBA has no evidence of the Clippers funneling money, but then Mike Bassi spokesperson for the NBA comes out with a very harsh statement very quickly, which I might add never happened for any of our reports, which was, this thing contains inaccuracies and we'll clarify it later.

53 minutes they came up with the statement that they released. That certainly puts ESPN on its heels and forced them to make another statement saying, of course we stand by our reporting. Well, funny enough, it's not binary. We're not going to have a moment where we'll say, oh, look who was right. Because what'll happen is Wachtel will have a report. It will be fully negotiated with the NBA, with the union, and with the Clippers. And so people really won't get the full story of whether or not ESPN was right or were they wrong. What I loved about the ESPN article is that It was so obvious who their sources were.

The Clippers.

Oh my God. Steve Ballmer has been on his heels since September 3rd when he sat down with Ramona Shelbourne and he tried to basically distance himself and say, I have no idea what any of them are talking about. We know the rules. We've never done anything wrong, which of course is wrong because he has and he knows that. And he said it's provably false. I mean, that was his first statement, which they never said again, ever used the words provably false.

Well, they used it in a written statement and then they removed—

they amended the statement and removed that phrase from it, which was the most important phrase of the statement. Because of course, if it's provably false and you have an investigation, then prove it. Show us. But they've never been able to show anything because We've done the showing, right? And day after day and episode after episode, there's more and more. And it's not personal against Ballmer. It's not personal against the Clippers or Kawhi. It is simply meant to inform the public what goes on in the room where it happens. And so often people don't get an understanding because of the spin, because of the lies, because of how business can be done. Totally legally in most instances. In this case, it is very interesting to me that we are about to hit training camp. Kawhi Leonard is still a Clipper in the last year of his deal. He's still thinking he's going to be a Raptor. Mickey Arison is the new chair of the board of governors and the former owner of the— the current owner of the Raptors is no longer in that position. There's got to be resolution and it's as though they're waiting, I mean, for us to drop our next episode because they don't want to get caught with their pants down like they did with Terry Rozier.

So I have loved every part of this.

David, I asked Amin this a couple of days ago because after that ESPN report came out and, you know, people were all, "Si Pablo, it was all for nothing. They're lying," or whatever. I asked Amin this the other day, so I'll ask you now. Do you get aggravated at all with some of the stuff that people are saying where they clearly don't understand what's going on?

No. I've been doing this for so many years. When, when you are in sports, when you're in sports business, you have to have a thick skin and you have to understand that most people are operating from a point of complete ignorance and they're operating from a point where they are trying to bring you down. Anybody in a position of leadership or power or strength or intelligence, you're always getting shot at. And I've had conversations with Pablo about this numerous times and Dan as well. You cannot allow for your work to ever be— ever to be sacrificed or compromised because there are people who are trying to tell you that you're not good at what you do or what you're doing is wrong. They're just trying to get you down to their level of basically not doing anything. And so I love what we've done on PTFE and as part of this show as well, and nothing personal because we're just unveiling truths and whether or not people care, that's one thing. Whether people agree, that's another thing. But neither of those things stops us from continuing.

Are you confused as to why, since you left, Zazz decided to start dressing like a painter?

So I love that Zazz is in the chair and I love the fact that you have a white shirt on and I understand why you're doing it.

I look good.

Because, well, he loves Andrew W.K. So listen, that's the fact is that you're trying to be in that chair and trying to say to yourself, what does it mean to be in that chair? Hey, I'm still me. This is me. I'm the crumpled white t-shirt that's not Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. It's an upper-class shirt in a lower-class way because I'm a man of the people.

Yeah.

Yet I'm still in the number one chair. And so it made me laugh.

And I'm going to watch Backstreet Boys at the Sphere later tonight.

Hope everyone's enjoying themselves. David, the Marlins were swept last night. Sandy Alcantara was on the hill. They couldn't stop the bleeding there. Very damaging loss for the Marlins. I know you mentioned about keeping a close eye on the situation, that the front office is paying close attention. Like, could they still trade Sandy Alcantara?

Well, no, it's past the deadline.

No, you got the waiver deadline though. Like, you know, he'd get claimed.

So the only way that you can have a trade now is if a player would not get claimed, there's waiver claims. But just no, the answer is he's not going to get traded. The real reason the front office is upset is that they made a bet, and it's a very big bet. They thought that they were— they were 10 games over at 52-42. They really thought that the way their team was was different than how they'd evaluated it when the season started. And as a front office, that's a really important decision point. Were we wrong about our team, either to the upside or the downside? And the Marlins thought they were wrong to the upside, meaning they're better than they expected faster. And so therefore we don't trade Sandy. But it's incredibly financially irresponsible and from an organizational standpoint not to have traded him because he's a declined asset. And so if he can't stop a losing streak, if he can't help them get to the playoffs, then why is he on the team when you could have brought in pieces of especially starters were at such a premium back on August 3rd at the deadline time that the Marlins could have extracted a significant pound of flesh, and instead they got a losing streak.

So that's why the front office is disappointed, and it's not too late, it's just almost too late. Dan Levitar. There's sunglasses in boxes today, but in my bed in the hospital, ending our lives all the Jeremy Tatché.

It's the final nightgown.

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

David, I have to imagine the Mark Walter story is right Right down your alley, your wheelhouse, as far as—

Right down your wheelhouse.

Yeah, I don't know what the saying is. Right down your boot.

I crawl in your boot.

In your wheelhouse? You're sure?

In the wheelhouse.

You were just visited by the Holy Spirit too, right?

Oh boy.

So this story seems to keep growing, and the latest is maybe he's gonna be divesting of his ownership in Chelsea as well. From your perspective, what is the most interesting thing about the Mark Walter saga?

That he needs to raise cash. And to raise cash, you have to sell assets. And if assets can't be sold in a timely manner, you go down the list to your other assets that you may not want to sell in order to raise the cash that you have to raise. First, it's the Lakers. But that deal, whatever you're reading, let me be clear. The Lakers deal is not closing in the next 30 days. It is never going to happen. And that has nothing to do with the Buss family and all of that noise, which was a story. Kushner and Iger have to go raise the money. They have to negotiate an agreement. It is not as though Josh Kushner called up Mark Walter on Friday and said, I want to buy the team, and they announced it Monday. At best, they have a memorandum of understanding, which at at best is a 4-pager. They need to convert that to a 400-page agreement where you negotiate everything, including, you know, stuffed animals and basketballs. Once you negotiate all of that, then you have to make sure you can fund it. Now, it's not $12.5 billion. That's called the enterprise value.

Right. But there are deductions from that— the debt on the team or assets that you're not going to take as part of the deal. So it's not like Kushner and Iger are writing Walter a $12.5 billion $1 billion check, right? However, whatever number of billion it ends up being after significant negotiation, you have to go get it. You have to meet with sovereign wealth funds. You have to meet with individual and institutional investors. And this takes a hot second. Then the league has to look at the deal. Then the owners have to approve it. However, Mark Walter needs cash having nothing to do with the approval process of the NBA. He needs cash because he has to unwind a bunch of self-dealing that he did. That is the focus of all the trouble he's in from the DOJ and SEC. So what happens if the Lakers can't close quickly or Chelsea can't close quickly? Where's he gonna find cash? Which assets is he gonna go to? Well, you'd think, what about the Dodgers? And the Dodgers have gone out of their way, including my friend Stan Kasten, who donated to the Kira Fund, who is a just a wonderful man.

But he said something that's just not right. He said, hey, we got nothing to do with this. That's the Lakers. We're the Dodgers. Well, guess what? They are all related because Mark Walter is going down the checklist of the stuff he owns, and the Dodgers is one of those items.

David, when you look at the two controversies enveloping the LA teams right now and other stuff relevant to the NBA and the way it's run, do you think Adam Silver is a good commissioner?

Listen, NBA teams, the valuations have gone up tremendously well, second to the NFL, well ahead of MLB. So if you want to rank commissioners based on franchise valuation, which is their job, their principal job, I would say he's number 2.

But could that have been done like with someone else as commissioner? Like, like, what did he do in particular that helped that?

Zaz, is there a chance the numbers on DLS are as good with someone else in the number 1 chair when Dan's gone? It's hard to know. We have the data points that we have because that's what we have. Adam Silver's dealt with plenty of controversies, there's no question. But do I think he's a good commissioner? I look at the media deals, I look at the franchise valuations, I look at the labor situation. And I also look at some of the negatives that have surrounded him in terms of maybe how he dealt with COVID as an example. And overall, I give him a solid A-minus.

I, I, I could tell you what he did do there. He did two things. Number one, people forget about this. He was the first guy to say we need to legalize sports gambling and make it mainstream and accept the gambling money.

I like that. But not everyone would say that was a good thing.

I mean, it, but in terms of increasing the valuations of his franchises and his the league, it absolutely helped. That's one. And number two is he, uh, allowed for private equity and sovereign wealth funds.

Is that a good thing?

Again, I, I can see— and I actually want to hear David's take on this, because from the standpoint of increasing the valuation of teams and adding more cash into this, yes, it's a good thing. But David, there's a reason why David Stern did not want either of those things in his sport, and I think he kind of saw some of these slippery slope issues that we're now dealing with. So from the standpoint of the partners, the owners, is there anyone in that room who says, guys, I don't like the direction that we're going in? Or does everyone just care about, hey man, increase my valuation, increase my, uh, my income, and I'm good with anything?

We couldn't get Bud Selig to allow us to do a deal with the Miccosukees. And now look where we are. And that's just— life has changed and you have to find different sources of revenue. And if you want teams to be worth more, you have to find more money. What I will tell you is that all of the caps on private equity and sovereign funds, those caps are going to have to be lifted because if you've got franchises that are actually selling for $12.5 billion, and you have new high watermarks for valuations, you have got to increase those caps and you're going to swallow hard if you're Adam Silver and if you're Rob Manfred and if you're Roger Goodell, you— we've seen it in football. The reality of the Miami Dolphins are selling off LP pieces. You've got the Phillies, John Middleton, who sold off a bunch of his team. The Yankees have sold shares in their team. The Marlins have sold shares in their team. Owners need to get cash. And we always talk about owners are billionaires. Well, they may have assets worth billions, but as we've talked about on this show, just because your house is worth $1 million doesn't mean you have the cash to fix a toilet that doesn't work.

So what do you do? You have to find cash. One way to do it is to borrow money. When you've borrowed all the money you can borrow, you have to go to the second thing. Which is sell things that you own. When you own a lot of shares of a team, you can put a high valuation on it, sell some shares, and raise money that way. So if you are trying to buy a controlling piece like Josh Kushner and Bob Iger, you have to come up with way more money, which means you need to find different sources of that money. That's why I think the limits are going to be raised in all of these leagues. And we have now opened the floodgates and there's no going back. There's no going back on gambling. There's no going back on sovereign funds, on foreign money. All the sportswashing and all of the stuff we've always talked about, that is rearview mirror kind of stuff because that money is going to start flooding into American sports.

David, what was the strangest thing you saw in a hostel or heard?

There's a lot of nudity.

Really?

Well, I will just tell you now, that is actually— that's the exact type of sheet that you're in that you're showing. It's a mummy sheet where you climb into it and that's what you wear. You can buy a blanket and rent it for €1, which I never did because that's gross, because— and it was hot enough that I didn't need it. And it's not like there was air conditioning. And some of the hostels, for €1, you can get a towel. But I had my own Microwick, you know, quick-dry towel. But I did take the towels for €1 and I would buy 5 of them. I'd first wash them, dry them, and then I would lay them over the bed and as a bottom sheet and a top sheet. So I tried to avoid bed bugs, which I did, but there are a lot of people on the Camino who are walking around with little red bites all over themselves.

Oh my God.

But I avoided that, and I also avoided any sort of substances, sticky or otherwise. So while it was hot and sticky In terms of sweat, I really did avoid some of the major, major issues that could have happened.

David, more difficult of an experience, the Camino or Survivor?

Well, the Camino was longer.

Sure.

So I was only, you know, Survivor, I was there 7 days before filming and then 3 days on the island. And sleeping on an island for the nights that I was there was easier because you're with fewer people. There's camera people, there's sound people. It's outdoors. There's producers. You're, you're on a beach. I wouldn't say it was comfortable, but neither were the beds in the hostels. But I was never nervous in either place at all. But frankly, going to the bathroom in the ocean, which is what you have to do on Survivor, I wish there had been an ocean in some of these hostels.

Greg, as someone who never has never stayed in a hostel, this is like shocking to you, right?

I know what a hostel is, but I've never stayed in. It's not shocking. And I admire David for going so much out of his comfort zone and doing that. But it's not shocking.

You got nothing on this, huh?

I mean, I've never been in a hostel. How can I?

Not a thing.

Not a thing. Just talking so you know I'm here.

Well, you know, Greg, the best thing to do in this case is just to say nothing. I know what a hostel is, though. Yeah, yeah, I know.

I have never stayed in a hostel.

Greg, I'm with you.

We haven't.

We have nothing, nothing at all, just loud breathing.

Oh boy.

I've never stayed in a hostel either. And, and if this is out of— it's out of my comfort zone. So I know for David, whose comfort zone is a lot, a lot more expansive than mine, is paramount.

Here's the— here's what you have to remember though. When, when something happens so acute, such a tragedy that's so acute, there's a recalibration of everything. So I've had— and it's only been 8 weeks and 2 days since she died, but I've had a total— well, maybe it's not total because I'm not done yet, but there's been a lot of recalibrating in terms of things that mattered to me, in terms of the way that I viewed certain things about myself, the way I thought about things or acted. So I was in the hostel thinking about Kira, I was thinking about my life, I was thinking all the things you're supposed to do on this pilgrimage. And you really do get a change in perspective. You get a change in priority. And all of the things that— all of my sort of idiosyncrasies and foibles, they really change. So it's not that they're done changing. It's sort of like a tectonic shift. And I suspect from therapy, I've been told it's never going to stop changing now. So I'm just in the first inning, really, of this. But I can tell you guys that you're right. The level of discomfort in the beginning was so significant.

But by the end, I realized that I have to live with this comfort in a way that I never had lived with before in my life. And I have to just learn how to do it. Sorry.

Another crisis solved. Why does his ass look like that? Next to me, they look like a black and white cookie.

Oh boy.

Salt and pepper shaker.

I'll keep this to myself though.

Whoa boy.

Dan Levitar.

Yo, I'm not gonna lie.

Jonathan Sassalo.

I look good in red. This is the Dan Levitar Show. David, uh, tell us about, uh, the Kira Fund for folks who are not aware of what you are doing and what you're going to continue to do.

Thank you. Yeah, Kira died of glioblastoma, which is a terminal brain cancer. The survival rate is zero. There is no cure. There is no way to make it better. And we started the Kira Fund, which is funding— we had our first grant just the other day, and we're, we're funding trials, we're funding research because there are— the federal money has dried up. And glioblastoma, because there's no success, people don't want to give money to it because it doesn't feel good when you give money to something and it just keeps ending in terrible death. And what we're trying to do is stop that. We're trying to figure out a way to fund these projects that can help lead to a cure, even if it's after I pass away, whenever that happens. And there's so many different sides to it. Uh, there's something called the Jordy Fund I want to mention. That is a— someone from DraftKings, his name is Hank, and he lost his wife to glioblastoma, and he's got a charity which is helping with caregivers because not enough is talked about what it's like to care for someone with glioblastoma. And of course, it's not that I had brain cancer, but my daughter did, and what that is like and what the needs are for caregivers.

So there's so many different sides to it, and it just needs funding. And everyone's been so generous, your whole audience. We've had donations of a dollar and $5 and $10. Thousands and thousands of people have donated. The fund has raised over $700,000 already, and we're just getting started. And I'm never going to stop. We're going to do events every year that raise money because the purpose is why would we ever want anyone to go through what Kira went through or for any family to go through what our family has and is and will always go through? The juice isn't worth the squeeze. There's no— there's no growth. There's no greatness from having this sort of issue happen in your family or to somebody. So I'd rather it stop.

David, if I may ask, has Starting this fund helped you even a little bit in the healing process?

Greg, I don't know what is— I'm trying to figure out what is helping me heal because I want my gaping wound to scab, and then I want that scab to turn to a scar at some point, which I'll always have and always look at. And I know when the scab comes, I'll pick it from time to time, it'll become a wound again. But right now it's still a gaping wound that I can't stitch up, I can't close, I can't do anything with. So I'm trying all sorts of different things. And this fund, it's just important. I've always raised money for charity because it matters. And there's so many people much less fortunate than I, although that, that equation has changed a bit, I would say. But, but yes, it is very important to me that Kira is never forgotten. I will never let her be forgotten. Her legacy will live. And while she only was alive for 28 years, I want people to say her name. I want her name to be associated when there's a cure, whenever that is. I want people to never stop talking about her, and I never will stop talking about her.

And I think it's so important that, as you know, for the— if you were at the funeral, uh, you know, you die twice. Once when you take your last breath, and once when the last time your name is ever mentioned by somebody. And I won't let Kira die a second time.

David, before we let you go, let's do a— let's do a review. What do you got for us today?

So I watched— I brought with me— I quickly— I did a practice hike before leaving for the Camino, and I took my big iPad in my backpack, and I just did a quick 8-mile hike, and the backpack was so heavy. I said, this is ridiculous. So I bought a mini iPad, got rid of the big iPad, which I have. I just didn't bring it and brought this mini iPad. So in the hostel, from time to time each night, I would put in my headphones, not the Maxes that I normally use, like the little tiny AirPods, and I'd watch the mini iPad because it was much lighter. Thank you, Apple. And I watched a documentary called 14 Peaks. 14 Peaks is about this climber who climbs the 14 highest peaks in the world, and he broke the world record by doing it in just over 6 months. Incredibly controversial. He's an incredible guy. An incredible mountaineer, and then he died in an avalanche. Not in the movie. Years later, he was still climbing, and he just died in that Broad Peak avalanche. And the reason that I suggest people watch 14 Peaks on Netflix is that it shows what the limits are of the human body, and that there really aren't any.

It's the mind that has limits. And if you can overcome your mind, your body will follow. And it doesn't come without controversy, like what Amin and I have talked about with Pablo, with the whole Clippers and NBA, and how does it feel to be the subject, like the dartboard, people throwing darts at you. This guy had darts thrown at him from the minute he wanted to climb the 14 peaks and break the record. But he went forward, he did it, he succeeded, and then he died doing what he loves. And that's the other takeaway. Spoiler alert from 14 Peaks. If you're going to do things like that, you pretty much know, even though you're responsible and qualified, that there is a likelihood that that's how you're going to die on the mountain. And it was a death that reminded me of Legends of the Fall. It was a noble death. It was tragic, but it was noble. And it was the exact end that you'd expect. 14 Peaks. I don't know if any of you have seen it, but it's a movie worth watching.

Zazz, you know about the Legends of the Fall?

Nah, I don't care about Legends of Fall. Oh man, I mean, I know Brad Pitt, he's got like the hair and he looks all good, you know, but I don't care. Whatever, I don't care about Legends of the Fall. Uh, David, have you seen The Odyssey? No.

So talk about healing. The Odyssey was filmed on the Sony lot where Keira worked, and she would FaceTime me like with Matt Damon in the background, like, look, it's, it's there. Christopher Nolan has a new movie, The Odyssey.

Feel good about this question?

So What? Good job, Zazz.

You feel good about this question?

I don't feel bad about it.

No, no, I'm thankfully asked. Whoa, Mike, stop. It's a totally fine question.

It was an innocuous question.

The answer is that I don't know how you said this, Zazz, but the answer is I haven't had the strength or courage to see it yet. But of course I will.

Oh, boy.

Anything else you want to bring up?

Yeah, good.

Maybe I do want to bring up other stuff, but now I'm not going to. It's been built up too much.

Maybe you do that after you lead the Midnight Yell at College Station.

What's the thing they do?

The Midnight Yell at College Station.

Yeah.

What is your mindset going into WrestleMania 25 against The Undertaker?

David, great to see you. We're all very happy to see you, hear from you, and looking forward to having you on again every single week. And of course, the eventual return of Nothing Personal.

Thank you guys very much. Thanks, David.

Love you, David. There you go. Really good seeing you.

Congrats to Zazz for signing with Real Madrid.

Okay. Really good seeing David Sampson.

Didn't run with the Bulls.

I'll tell you who's on the list.

Sorry.

I stayed in a hostel for a few nights when I went to Amsterdam once.

Oh my God. Yeah, I smoked a lot of dope over there.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah, that's right, I went to Amsterdam. I was 19 years old. Yes, I did, Greg. He still calls it dope. Is that a revelation?

Shush.

Was I a judge in the High Times Cannabis Cup? Yes, I was.

Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that.

I just— it's just, it's too gross. It's a bridge too far.

So it's— it is, it's terrible.

I just— were people banging all around you? That's the other thing I think about.

No, no, because there are plenty of hostels, and this was like in the one that I was at where there are boys' rooms and there are girls' rooms.

Were people banging all around you? Because that's what I imagine.

Like where I stayed, it was probably a dozen beds, which is 11 too many to me. But it was all male and it was disgusting.

And so none of them were banging?

No, they were not banging each other.

No, that you know of.

You know about that movie Hostel? Eli Roth?

Yeah.

You don't like it?

I just— it's Achilles.

I don't like that.

Yeah, that's the worst part, right?

Yeah. And then that dude was in like a Dumb and Dumber.

The sequel.

Or the prequel.

No, oh wait, no, no, he was in the prequel.

When Harry Met Lloyd.

Oh yeah.

Oh, that movie, it's like bad but funny.

I liked that movie.

It's one of those ones that's like—

I don't think it's that bad. Those guys did pretty good impressions.

Yes, they did.

I mean, uh, what is the greatest feat of timing?

I've, uh, guys, I don't know if you know this. It's really hard to get a song played on TouchTunes at Mike's Bar, Las Rosas.

Yeah, you got to get there like 2 hours.

Oh, there's a major queue.

Big leagues.

Even if you get there early, because it doesn't matter, because there's some jumokes who aren't even there who are requesting.

When we're at Highline Friday nights, we start filling it up like an hour and a half before we're going to be there.

Yeah, like, wow, this is going to smack 5 hours from now.

So like, and even you're like, oh, why don't you just supercharge?

You know, does it tell you how long until you're—

not how long, but you could just see how many songs on the queue.

You could see how many, depending on like how, how many TouchTunes credits you've put in over the years, you get to see way more.

Yeah, really?

Yeah, yeah. I'm on top. I'm a top 1%er.

Do you see more than just— Yeah, these songs are coming up.

Yeah, yeah, I can see like all of them.

What else do you see?

You got a lot of stuff.

I, I can see— Okay, maybe— I don't know, I've had a lot of credit, so I can see all the songs that are in the queue. I can see who has paid extra to cut the line, which once upon a time You'd be like, pay extra, you cut the line.

I'm a big skipper.

I'm always skipping.

Now everyone's doing it though, Chris. And so even when you do that, you're at the, at the end of the queue.

So now everybody has a FastPass.

So there is no more FastPass. I love Touch Tunes.

Love it.

So I'm at Mike's bar and on the screens, one screen they're playing WrestleMania, the other screen they always play like a movie or a TV show or whatever. And on this particular night, they're playing a movie called Reservoir Dogs.

So why do I gotta be Mr.

Pink?

What's the most famous scene from Reservoir Dogs?

The ear getting cut off.

Yes, right. And what's the song that plays?

Stuck in the Middle with You.

Okay.

Oh, great song. Stealers Wheel.

Is it Michael Madsen, right?

Yeah.

Well, Michael Madsen goes to the radio.

Hello? Hello?

And he's about to turn it on. Stuck in the Middle with You plays on the thing.

Wow, crazy.

And you know who requested it? It was Mike Fuentes. And I said, how did you time this? He timed it perfectly. It's impossible to get that song played at any point, let alone to pinpoint. I'm going to request it now because by the time it comes to the top, it will be right when Mike— Mike turns on the radio. Yes. And I— it blew my mind. You walked into that one. It blew my mind. It blew my— I was like, what is a comparable feat of timing? Like what? Like, like a quarterback throwing a football between 3 swinging tires, something like that.

4. That's what I was going to say. I was going to use that example.