Transcript of Tony's Iceman Review + Zaslow's Cavs Prediction + Were The Maple Leafs Always The Problem, Not Mitch Marner? | Hour 1 New

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This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz Podcast. DraftKings. Oh my God, the crown is yours. All right, there we go. Where's Dave? Where did, where did Dam— This is what he does during the breaks. What? Wait, he's there?

Okay, it's my new character. It's my new character. It's, it's the anonymous witness. I can't reveal who I am.

It could be a terrible one.

It could imperil me.

Okay, for the audio audience—

You don't even know who's talking right now. You don't know who's talking right now. It could be anybody.

For the audio audience, it's pitch black in Dave's screen. Why is it completely dark?

Well, I'm here to talk for Dave, so this is how I would disguise my voice so that you wouldn't be able to recognize me. So wait, wait, wait, it was me the whole time. Oh, wow. Wow.

Wow, give it up for Dave.

Wow.

Why is it—

I can do that though, like, see, because it gets very hot in here. It gets 200 degrees in here, so I, so I turn the light off to, to chill things out for a few minutes while we're— oh, all right. But now, like, Dave went away. You don't know if Dave's here or not anymore. It could be a completely different—

wait, who's talking?

Who's having this? Right, exactly, exactly.

Even if you disguise Dave's voice, you'd be able to tell it were him. Like right away, anytime a modulated voice goes, what's the poop, fella? Like, it doesn't matter how you modulate it.

We park our cars in the same garage.

Oh la la, am I right? Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh, Mario LeBeau. Who gives a crap? Hey, quickly, can I say this? Because Aslo's backwards hat reminds me is The Steelers are playing the Saints in Paris, and that made me obviously think of a beret. And then I was thinking of, is a beret, uh, the worst choice of hat you could make in the year of the Lord 2026? And I know that the easy answer is, well, you wouldn't want to— you'd rather wear a beret than an Abe Lincoln hat. But if you went to a hat store, they're not selling Abe Lincoln hats in 2026, but you probably could find a beret. Is that the bottom of the barrel when it comes to hats? Zaslo, as a hat wearer, how say you?

Well, what about like those Kangol hats?

Totally different thing. A beret is not a Kangol. Kangol is not a beret. Black unks, grandfathers of all kinds, Bruce Arians would not be caught dead wearing a beret.

Okay, so, but those guys— did you say black unks? Yeah, yeah, that's what he said. The black unks are still wearing Kangol?

Absolutely.

With the leather sandals too, with the towel right over the shoulder on the grill.

Wait, Sam Jackson wears his backwards, right? Or he— or some of his characters—

he only wore it in Jackie Brown, one movie.

He was on a golf course, he wears it all the time.

Or Payne Stewart or Ben Hogan or somebody like— you swing it around. And you know, I don't think I could pull that look off, but I think Zaslow, you would look neat in that. I think, in fact, I would rather— if you— if I had to choose a hat for you, if I were your friend, trying to put you in a good spot here. I would say wear the Kangol for the rest of life if the only other choice was a beret. I think we would point and laugh at you much more in the beret.

Well, I would never— I would never wear a beret. I mean, two things that everybody knows about me: I'm not a cuck, and I would never wear a beret. Everybody knows that.

But a cuck in a beret, now we're really talking.

Now I know three things about you, because you hate Bill Goldberg too.

Oh, every— everybody knows that about me. 2 things everybody knows about me: I'm never a cuck, and I hate Bill Goldberg. Everybody knows that. I used to have a Miami Heat Kangol when I was a teenager.

Really?

Yeah.

Front or back? Like, how would you wear it?

The logo would be in the back, so I would wear the brim in the— like, I'd wear it backwards. The brim would be in the back, and I'd wear, you know, the logo in the front. Yeah, I had a Miami Heat Kangol. Whatever.

That's his thing. He has to wear it backwards.

Yeah, whatever, man. So, oh, I had a great— Dave, I had a great head of hair. You wouldn't— like, I wasn't walking around with the dome, you know, big ol' head when I was a teenager. I had a great head of hair.

What happened?

Life. I mean, honestly, what happened? I did morning radio for 7 years. Oh yeah. That's what happened.

But the old man's got a good lettuce, or nah?

No, no, no.

Tell us about the time you went bald, Zaslo.

It wasn't— it didn't happen just one day. It was over a course, you know? Probably started happening in my early 30s. Yeah, probably early 30s.

Man, I knew you at 23. It happened before that.

Really? Yeah. All right.

You're always the last to know.

All right. There you go. But man, Dave, you wouldn't believe it. Oh my God. This punim and that head of hair. Find the ladies off of the stick. You know what I'm talking about?

Devastating. I mean, listen, I know I'm doing all right in the hair department, but man, if I had the mane that I was sporting back in my mid-20s, —I would be a senator by now.

—Yeah, I hear ya. All right, well, you know, nobody's perfect. So what is this I hear about Drake dropping a new album last night? And the reason I bring this up, because like, I don't care about Drake, it's not the kind of music I listen to. I don't understand how music is these days where all— and seems to be like solely a hip-hop thing, right? Or maybe Taylor Swift does this too, but the album will just drop out of nowhere. Oh my God, Drake has a new album! What happened to the days that there was an on-sale date that the album is coming out and you hype it up for 3, 4 months? You got a single that comes out on the radio this week, another single comes out next week, and then eventually you can buy the entire album. Now we just drop albums. Without any promotion. That's weird.

Well, no, Drake has had a long runway of Iceman. He's had multiple, multiple, multiple promotions, from Toronto Raptors freezing his seats to having, you know, 80 tons of ice blocked in, uh, Toronto's like main street over there, putting the date of the Iceman drop inside the blocks of ice so people had to go and dig in and wait till it melted.

Is that what the album's called?

May 15th, Iceman is what it's called. May 15th is when we got it, and that was about a couple weeks ago.

I think it's little tease, like that's what you get nowadays, little teases, little hints.

You also get the surprise drop out out of nowhere, and Drake did both. Or two. Yeah, Drake did both big time because he promoted Iceman, and the surprise this time was there were two more full-length albums.

Yeah, so one is, one is dubbed to be like an R&B slower music Drake. One is his rap, which is Iceman, and there's another one which is kind of more like club mix DJ, kind of like, uh, Honestly Nevermind was that he did with Black Coffee, which as it ages—

Nirvana, actually, very much, huh? Never mind, that's Nirvana! Honestly nevermind though. Oh alright. So he dropped 3 albums— Kendrick Lamar?

Can we go back very quickly to talk about a #5toLiar?

Is that what we're gonna do Dave Dameshek on the day Drake drops Iceman?

We're talking about a #5toLiar? Let Ryan Cook on Kendrick, go ahead Dave. No, that's what I was going to ask. I thought that Drake at last check for me, I thought Drake had been shamed out of society by Kendrick Lamar and here he is but then my wife told me no no. Drake has emerged victorious somehow. I don't— I do the math for me on that one. Who can— is that true?

Yes, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Without a doubt, without a singular doubt. I thought Kendrick Lamar ended his career. Please, are you not— that's how I know you're not listening to Drake or listen to hip-hop whatsoever, because Drake has like that other— yeah, 4 other number 1 songs since GNX dropped, since the whole thing with Not Like Us, since all that stuff. Drake has been the number one streamed artist in hip-hop still after that.

I mean, people say Kendrick won the beef of their song versus songs, but in terms of just popularity, Drake won.

Like, Drake's— it's not even close.

Is that true, Mike?

Drake is that much bigger. You're not a cuck to be rooting for Drake who you got humiliated?

I think you are. So yes, Drake is more popular on streaming because white girls love Drake. But if you like artistry, if you like just the music, I don't look at Drake the same way. And I go to Drake concerts, I like Drake, like Kendrick says, I like, I like to dance to his music too, like it's fine, but it's— I will never look at him the same way. That guy took a bad public L, as bad as you can get.

I just, I can't get over, I can't imagine that I wake up one morning and all of a sudden Pearl Jam dropped a new album last night out of nowhere. That'd be crazy to me. And I understand you're saying that's not exactly what Drake did, although you thought he was coming out with just one album, he came out with three. But this happens all the time in music now, right? Especially in hip-hop where it's just a surprise. Oh my God.

So has anyone listened to the new Iceman? I've been— I'm halfway through. I was listening on the, on the way in. Bangers. A lot of good songs, a lot of good lyrics.

Shebang.

Obviously he had some stuff that he had already released prior to What Did I Miss, the one with Central Cee, so there's a couple out there that have already been listened to, but great bars in the song so far. I haven't listened to the other two albums that were the surprise drops, but I'll get around to it.

Dave, you'll get around to it?

No, no, probably not. I do think the old lady will put it on the Alexa and then will— I have to keep it down because the Alexa's right over there and she'll hear me talking about her and she'll start talking and chime into the conversation. We don't want that. Um, but yeah, I do think— I bet you that the wife and, uh, and Alexa will team up to play some Drake and I'll hear whether I want to or not. But do I have interest in it, I think is the spirit of your question? No, no, I do not have any interest in it.

Does it surprise you when— last night was weird, there was no NBA last night. Does it surprise you when I say that if the Cavaliers beat the Pistons tonight in Game 6, that it'll be the first time without LeBron James that they advanced to an Eastern Conference Final since 1992. That's 34 years ago. They have not been in the Eastern Conference Final without LeBron James since 1992. When I say that, does that surprise you?

Is that the Jordan shot over 'Ilo?

No, that was the first round, and that was maybe like '80s, '88 maybe.

Yeah, and that was the first round.

Yeah, and that was a first-round game. But 1992, Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Eastern Conference Finals. I think the Bulls— Bulls won. I think the Bulls won that series in 6. It was actually the first year the Miami Heat made the playoffs. Bulls swept them in the first round. It was not a good series, but Game 3 was fun. I mean, it was only a 5-point Bulls victory anyway. The last time that the Cavs were in the Eastern Final without LeBron James, 1992. So I guess it's a roundabout way of saying This is kind of a big deal, this game tonight for the Cavaliers.

It is. And look, Miami, a lot of Heat fans prided themselves on their ability to rebuild themselves so quickly, get back to an NBA Finals so quickly after losing LeBron. But since LeBron left Cleveland, Cleveland's learned to be a super aggressive franchise in the trade market. They, they outbid everybody for Donovan Mitchell. This James Harden move was kind of inspired.

Jared Allen as well. Jared Allen as well.

Like, they have a nice roster. And they're not afraid to make big, bold moves with their head coach either. I think that they've actually stabilized as a franchise here lately, kind of taking other teams' lunch money.

Not only that, it shows the win of getting Donovan Mitchell. It makes the trade like vindicated. James Harden, the same thing. Like all of these things are pushing forward and it's like, all right, we won, right? Like, like even if we don't win the Eastern Conference, even if we don't make it to the NBA Finals, you've laid the groundwork for the moves that we've been making as a front office are working. Shabba!

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Thank you. How the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yeah. That they won the division. Guess what? It's been 2 years, and that's 2 years too long. Stugatz. You could take that ass too. Ah, we're taking 2 asses. This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz. You see, the league's last 2 minutes report came out yesterday and confirmed Tony Brothers saying after Game 5 that it was incidental contact. Todd Foden! The league confirmed the no-call at the end of regulation, which I'm surprised to see. I thought it was definitely a foul. Glad they didn't call it. But thought it was a foul. But I'll tell you, if I'm a Detroit Pistons fan, I'm glad that the league's last 2-minute report confirmed that it was a correct no-call, because the only thing worse than not getting the call in that spot is when the last 2-minute report comes out and tells you, yeah, we missed it, you should have won, but tough shit, there's nothing we could do. Like, even if I don't agree with the call and don't agree with the last 2-minute report, I'm glad that the Last 2 Minute Report is saying, "No, we got it right," because what the hell are you going to do about it, you know?

The exact opposite effect that was intended a decade or so ago when they started going to Mike Pereira and all those guys in the booth to sort of explain to the public what the officials' thought was is the exact opposite result of what they wanted. They wanted it to make us feel at home watching on TV, exactly what you're describing. See, it was validated by another voice, an official voice there. And instead they're like, yeah, I don't think I agree with that one. It just made us much crazier about what, uh, what the old men calling things with their eyeballs are doing when we can see in high-def television everybody in the world except those guys. The irony that everybody watching the game sees the truth, but we don't want to hurt the feelings of the official, so we just have to roll with their call. It's such an insane spot that we've arrived in. Um, I do love that, but back to the, the point you're talking about with they're validated, that the Cavaliers are validated by James Harden. I don't think even the, the greatest Cavaliers fan thinks that this ends with them winning the title.

So then what value does it have to do it? And I think that it is a canary in a coal mine of sorts for you Heat fans right now. You sure you want Giannis? Because unless it yields a title, what are you doing? And the same applies to Forgive me, I'm a provincial thinker. Same goes for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers give us our best chance to— at 10 wins. What is that going to matter? Who cares if it doesn't yield a title run? What are you doing? You're wasting time. I feel like, in fact, one more cross-sports analogy, Brett Favre kind of took over that Vikings team when they almost went to the Super Bowl. The entire story, had they gone to the Super Bowl would have been Brett— would have been Brett Favre. It would have blocked out the sun of the entire Vikings thing. And the same goes for the Cavaliers. The whole thing is the redemption of James Harden or not. The Cavaliers are incidental to this.

I think the reason that you do it if you're the Heat, and also why if the Cavaliers win tonight, the Harden trade, even if they don't win the championship, the Harden trade ends up working for them, ends up being a positive. You want to have a shot. That's what it boils down to.

But you don't have a shot. That's my point. It's, it's the mirage of look how relevant we are. Look, we made it to the, to the Eastern Conference Finals. We're one of 4 teams to make it this far. But you also know that there is a ceiling on that. It might be a high ceiling, but it's not winning the title and hoisting the— Yeah.

At the end of it. You see, that's—

aren't you really just delaying? Aren't we? I'm all about the journey over destinations, as I— my favorite seasons in the last decade or 15 years as a sports fan, I knew during the process this doesn't end in a title. That's not where the Cavs are though. I suspect that Cavs fans are thinking, man, it's about time, this team is ripening, it's time for a title run, and that's just not realistically in the offing, right?

Yeah, I think, I think we disagree in that because I think if you get to the championship round, like let's say Cleveland wins tonight and they beat the Knicks, which I, I don't think is going to happen, but they get to the championship rounds and they're playing San Antonio or they're playing Oklahoma City, they're gonna be massive underdogs. They're not gonna win that series. But that's where I think my, my opinion there disagrees with a lot of people, which is I think if you're there, you have a shot. Like, I think if you're there, you're good enough. Like, this brings us back to, oh, the Heat were not good enough with Jimmy Butler, you know. And I disagree with that because I think if you're in the Finals, you're good enough. Like, the only team that's good enough to win the championship isn't just the team. That won the championship. Like, they won the series, they were the better team, okay, but there are multiple teams that are good enough to win a championship. Only one of them is going to.

They were good enough in the bubble, but I thought the Denver series told them that. I mean, they were there.

Like, they were there.

Yeah, they weren't close in that series.

Yeah, I, I don't, I don't see it that way. I think if you're there, if you're in the finals, you have a chance to win. Like, you're right there.

In football, that's true because, as they say, you know, and why March Madness is compelling is because for a 40-minute stretch, anything might happen. And in a football game, it's plausible that anything might happen, but in a 7-game series, it's not.

Yeah, I think that the trade's going to be validated for Harden. I don't think that Detroit survives tonight. I think Cleveland winds up finishing them off. And I know you could say, hey, you know, Detroit, they— Detroit won a huge Game 7 last round. They came back from a 3-1 deficit. They could win this game and force a Game 7 back in Detroit. But I would, I would quickly point out, yeah, they came back from the 3-1 deficit against Orlando, and they were down by 24 in the third quarter of Game 6, getting waxed by the Magic. They had no business surviving that series, and Orlando just couldn't score. So like As impressive it is that Detroit came back from 3-1, they were getting smoked in that Game 6.

And Detroit's options for winning this game or losing this game, right? Is it all predicated on the Cavs, right? Is it like, is if James Harden has a bad game, then the Cavs are going to lose? Can Detroit do anything to win?

I think that— I think Cleveland can win even if Harden is not great tonight. Like, Duncan Robinson is still questionable. He may not play tonight. They get nothing out of Jalen Duren. Detroit, which, my God, I don't know what they're going to do in the offseason money-wise. With him. And we saw last game, Cunningham, yes, he had a lot of turnovers, but Cunningham can still have a 39-point game and it's not enough and they still wind up losing. The Cavs have not lost at home yet this postseason. I think Cleveland finishes them off tonight. And then you got Spurs and Timberwolves tonight. Anthony Edwards, like, he was asked about going into this game and does the whole we're not worried, everything's cool and all that. And you know what? When Anthony Edwards says it like I believe it, like Anthony Edwards to me is one of those guys in the league who seems to be even keel no matter what. Super confident no matter what. I don't know that Minnesota wins this game tonight, but I think Minnesota has a chance of pushing it to a Game 7. I don't know how any of us are actually rooting for Minnesota because you want Wembenyama versus Oklahoma City.

I know I can't— go ahead, Tony, please.

No, no, go, go.

You guys should both keep saying go ahead to each other.

Well, no, but please, the floor is yours. Please, please, please go. Lights out. A third party wants to weigh in on this one. Um, yeah, listen, I, I'm curious, do— are we sure? If you're, uh, an NBA devotee, you sure you want the Spurs to win this year? Because I feel like the long night is about to begin, and maybe you want to get one more title in before Wemby fully takes over. And I, I think it's setting up, and people We were having the conversation on Football America that you can listen to as soon as this show is over today, that the idea that, you know, Tim Duncan was great, he won 5 titles, yeah, but he had Manu and he had Tony Parker. Well, those guys are those guys because they were in those big spots and won titles. De'Aaron Fox will be perceived as the equivalent of those, that he'll be iconic if they do. It's not like Wemby's doing it on his own. I think that maybe is old news to to a lot of people. But my point is, I think there's a decent chance that Wemby and the Spurs reel off the next 3 or 4 here, right?

So don't you want to root against the Spurs? Because people hate dynasties. I don't hate dynasties. I think they're good for sports. But people who lament that same team keeps winning it and this is getting boring— well, guess what? It's about to start right now. So whoever it is, root for that team over Wemby because the dominance is, uh, we're at the forefront of it, right?

Okay, so this is interesting, right? Because a year ago this time, we would be saying the same thing about Oklahoma City, where it's like, wow, this is a really likable team. It's cool if they win their first championship here. I, I like rooting for this team.

No, don't you remember that national ad campaign, What a Pro Wants?

I was so sick of this team by the second round.

That's right, hated them with a fiery passion.

But we did not foretell Oklahoma City being this team that everyone's like, oh, uh, Shaquille O'Neal, he's tough to watch. Lou Dort, dirty player. Chet Holmgren, flopper. Like, we, we didn't have any of those thoughts last year. Foul merchant with Shaquille O'Neal. Like, the tide turned with them really quick. Is that going to happen with San Antonio? Because right now you look at this Spurs team and they're fun, and Wemba Nyama is— he's incredible to watch. But are we now going to sour on them after they win a championship?

Well, it's interesting. It's sort of rooting for the bully in a sense, and the whole elbow to the throat incident kind of proves that point. I— it's a recurring thing for me is to pity the bully, because when he— when the common factor in these big collisions that you see in big-time sports, whether it's Shaq or the reason that I am so empathetic to those people is Mario Lemieux, that when you are— or Jerome Bettis or Mark Bavaro, the Giants tight end, or Rob Gronkowski, um, Eric Lindros is probably the most tragic figure in this regard— when you are always the one in the collision, it takes multiple people to slow you down. Your body is the one that's going to wear out, even though you're the bigger guy. It's the weird paradox that goes on in sports. And so already you're starting to hear that with Wembenyama. I get it that he threw the elbow, he looked the guy in the eye and then threw the bow into him, and that's bad form. But on some level, you got to protect yourself if you're taking a beating like that. And I do think people are already ever so slightly starting to demonize Wemby a little bit for defending himself.

I think it could draw comparisons to— Zaz, you remember when LeBron James upset almost by himself that Pistons team? Yeah. And it felt like they were a year early.

He scored like 24 consecutive points for the Cavs in Game 6. Yeah. Yeah. And LeBron was awesome.

Everybody was like, this is incredible. He has arrived. And then quickly thereafter, you know, he's always in the conversation and you have this cult of personality that's beloved by seemingly half the fans and then hated by the other half of the fans. I think that's where we'll get with Wemby. Wemby has one dominant run, everybody will be like, this is a crazy novelty, amazing. And then he enters a conversation year after year after year, and then it will seem unfair.

Don Lebatard. John Zaslo. How you love that catchphrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the Triple-A. Stugatz! He's all smiles until the bloods are clutch again. Clutch again. Clutch again. This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

Here's a question for you that is, uh, that is, um, you know, uh, pretty hyperbolic. I asked a week ago what— how many titles will be satiating to the Spurs fan 15 years from now? Will 3 do it for the Wemby era? Will 4 do it? Where does Wemby finish?

Yeah, didn't we ask Michelle Beatle?

We did ask her that. She said 4, which I think is a kind of a fair answer, even though it's a pretty tall standard even for 7-foot-4 Wemby and his pals. But then also, you know, Dan is among many people having the 'where does Jokic rank among centers' and 'is he the greatest scorer of all time' and all that kind of stuff. Where— I mean, it's unfair to the kid, obviously, um, to some degree, but where does Wemby wind up in, in our mind? Like, is he a part of the enduring MJ v LeBron conversation. Is it a three-headed conversation 10 years from now? I think there's a decent chance the way things are tracking that it will be. The thing that gets in the way of it is I, I'm waiting for Wemby to break. That body don't look right when he's running up and down the floor. It just doesn't seem like it can take guys taking runs at him. And the best thing he has going for him is that the era has changed in which he doesn't have to play through the low pivot anymore, because if he did, I don't think he would have a shot.

But I think as it stands now It might be a decade from now. Who's better, MJ, LeBron, or Wemby? Decade from now?

It took LeBron 20 years to try and be even in the same stratosphere as Michael Jordan, and Wemby's gonna get there in 10?

If he wins 3 or 4 titles, that's how things go. Yeah. LeBron wasn't winning titles, that's why he wasn't in the conversation.

So that's tonight. We got both those games tonight. Both those series can end tonight. Last night though, with no NBA, We had the hockey. The Vegas Golden Knights, they advanced to the Western Conference Final. They beat Anaheim and Montreal. Tony, I heard you even checked in to that Canadiens victory over the Sabers last night. Oh, the Habs.

As I turned it on with 2 minutes and 27 seconds left in the second period, I saw one goal from the Habs and I was like, alright, I'm good. It was 5-3.

You picked the wrong stretch. It was like a 30-second stretch in which there were 3 goals in the first period.

I was watching the equalizer too, so I switched that on a commercial break to see what the—

There were 2 equalizers in that game and then Montreal Montreal pulled away.

What a performance by the Canadiens. They can now close it out in a Game 6 at Bell Center tomorrow. On the other series though, which the Knights blew out the Ducks, Mitch Marner, my goodness. Mike, did you see that first goal of the game? Easily best goal of the playoffs.

Easily. I would agree. Mitch Marner this postseason is rewriting the narrative that surrounded him, and this is increasingly looking like a Toronto Maple Leaf issue. And not a Mitch Marner one or William Nylander one.

Which is perfect. So like if Auston Matthews won out of Toronto, he's going to become like the best player in the league.

I guess I'm also looking at Auston Matthews. I'm like, wait a second, you're the overrated one over there in Toronto because Marner— I always thought Marner's defensive prowess was so underestimated. He is a terrific two-way player. He is showing it day in, day out. He's making his line mates look incredible. They really unlock something between Marner and Karlsson too. They play brilliantly together. Watching this team, and it was a very bizarre series win. Tortorella, we are living in the United States of Tortorella.

He did not make the locker room available. Yeah, did you see that, Dave? I did. Bizarre stuff from Tortorella, but also par for the course because he's an enduring weirdo. I mean, it's paying off, certainly.

Vegas says— how many fewer wins did they have than the Florida Panthers this year?

Vegas, like, I have a hard time accepting that Vegas is now in the Western Conference Final. Look, the Panthers missed the playoffs. The Panthers had a very disappointing season. They only won 39 games this year. Uh, the, the Vegas Knights won 38. Like, Vegas won fewer games than the Panthers this year. Vegas was 4 games under.500 this season. It's pretty impressive. Yes. Chris?

Yeah, Mike, I'm reluctantly doing this, but I think John Tortorella and the Vegas Golden Knights— Mitch Marner— they deserve a toast.

They do. They're worth a toast. Presented by Cuervo. Keep it fun. Keep it Cuervo. Here's to Mitch Marner.

Look at you guys. Now, this sets up for a very interesting series between Colorado and Vegas. You have 2 recent Western Conference Cup winners, teams that are always in that conversation.

22 and 23.

You have Vegas playing their best hockey of the season. And where Vegas is certainly a way more interesting threat to Colorado than Anaheim would be is there's always going to be an elite defensive forward on the ice for Vegas. Hear, hear. I cannot wait to watch McKinnon and Makar try to rush past that blue line and have Jack Eichel and Mitch Marner waiting for—

why did you say here, here, here? Like when you're supposed to think someone and someone makes a good point, someone in the background needs to yell here, here.

Now ultimately, I think Colorado's depth is just insane, and they, they'll— their talent will win out. And they, they had a relatively easy time with Minnesota, and I do believe Minnesota to be a better team than Vegas, but Sals make fights. And I think that this Vegas team playing this way with their defensive forwards and with Mitch Marner being totally unlocked. This guy was a joke. He tried a spinning goal against the Florida Panthers and it led directly to a goal for the Florida Panthers. He was a punchline and probably unfairly so. This could be a really interesting season.

Well, yeah. And now he leaves and they finished what, like next to last in the Eastern Conference?

Keep it fun. Vegas playing appropriately or not playing with house money here? You think they are playing with house money?

Dave, you think Vegas is playing with house money?

I mean, they have no business being there based on exactly what you just said, based on what they did in the regular season. I think the Avs should smoke them. I think Mike is exactly right. I know it's simple math, but they— they— the games were closer, maybe a 5-game series and everything else. But the Avs did ultimately handle the Wild, who are way better than the Knights. And the question I have for drip drill pal Mike Ryan is, what is the bigger eyesore? The Avalanche against the Golden Knights, two awful uniforms for two would-be dynasties in the NHL, or would it have been the head-to-toe orange against the Avs? I mean, that would have been so vomitous you have to watch it in black and white or maybe just listen on the radio, right?

I think Vegas gets a bad rap. I understand the— by the way, the home sweaters look way nicer in person than they do on TV. No, they don't. I, I think they are ugly.

All right, what are you talking about? That's a horrible color of gold that they wear.

I think it looks nicer in person, but I think the road whites are fine. I'm with you though. This is, this is a much better uniform matchup though than we would have gotten with the, with the Anaheim Ducks. Any, anything close to red when Anaheim's, uh, going up against someone, that color clash is not easy on the eyes.

Actually, come to think of it, are, is, are the Avs— because if they win this Cup, they're not dynastic, or they're kind of in that conversation. What is the worst uniform for a dynasty we've ever seen? I'm gonna float two for you right now. The OKC Thunder. That's part of the reasons, Aslo. That's why we reject them. We don't like them. Because their uniforms are ugly. They just— they're like, what's your color scheme? What colors do you want to use? All of them. We're gonna take every color under the sun and put them into our uniform. That sucks. And then the other one is the Tom Brady Patriots. Pat Patriot. Oh, it should have been the uniform. Instead we got Flying Elvis for the entirety of that run. That miserable run.

Keep it fun. Keep it Cuervo. No hockey tonight, so we gave you a little bit of hockey there. The hockey will finish off this round possibly tomorrow. Now, there's a new episode of Mystery Crate that comes out today, alright? You're gonna love it. I got old-ass stories. Chris tries to come over the top, and he— you have your— what is it, new ass story? New ass story. You have a new ass story. You have a new ass head. So check that out today, new episode of Mystery Crate every Friday. That's my gimmick. Tony though, Tony talks about moving into his new home and the moving situation, alright? So tune into Mystery Crate and you can hear about that. Don't ever ask me to help you move, I will never do that. But How is everything coming along with the move?

We're on our way, we're about halfway done with all the stuff. I'm gonna get a U-Haul truck tomorrow, I'm gonna back it up in front of the house of my in-laws, drop all my stuff in there and take it to the new house. But today, I'm going over there later today, uh, to get the internet installed with the internet service provider guy.

You know what, uh, lemme stop you there real quick. When you move into a new home, internet service, the TV service, has to be like the first thing that gets done, right? Like, I remember any times that I've moved, I have the TV/internet guy installing everything in the home before the furniture's even arrived. Like, it's the very first. And I feel weird about that because I feel like my wife is thinking, all right, this is not even remotely as important as everything else that needs to go on. But I'm thinking to myself, like, no, no, no, this is the most important.

That's what makes a house a home, guys. I was watching the bubble playoffs from the floor.

Yeah, TV/internet installation in your new home is paramount. All right, go ahead, Tony.

So I got the couch, so I won't have to sit on the floor, but I'll sit on the couch and watch the guy do whatever he's got to do. But for this particular internet service provider, which I've had at my previous rental house, I called them up and I said, hey, do you guys have fiber in the area? They said yep. I said, all right, perfect. I'm like, all right, we got the fiber.

You know about that fiber, Dave? I do know about that fiber.

I gotta have it.

Continue. I— can I weigh in on what Zaslow just said there? Because I think he really hit on something important. People talk about, you know, maintaining friendships, but they come and go. Family is deeply important. People say it's the most important thing. I'd like to amend that. My one friend, my enduring friend who's been there through thick and thin, through all the decades of nerddom and otherwise, is television. TV is my best pal. He's always there. I can be in any remote location driving across America. If I see that motel sign, past midnight and it says "has HBO" or "has cable," I pull over and I'm right as rain. Thank you, TV.

So they hit me up with, "Hey, all right, so Friday's good. We'll give you a window of 2 to 5 for the guy to be there." And I'm like, "2 to 5? What are we doing?" He's like, "Yeah, it also could take 2 hours if he's there. Could take 2 hours of him to work." I'm like, "Okay." So I'm sitting at the house that doesn't have internet doesn't have TV for 5 hours.

So the window is really 2 to 7.

2 to 7, because he's going to be working on it. So now I'm sitting here and something like, all right, what are we doing with these windows of time? Why can't we make it fine? Like, like, all right, here it is. You got 1:30. It's going to take him 30 minutes. It's going to take him an hour. But you got 1:30. He's going to be there at 1:30. Not this time thing.

Like, well, the windows of time is great if they give you a specific time. If they give you a specific time, they're just going to be late constantly.

Yeah, but then I can call and bitch about it. It. Because if they're like, all right, we'll be there from 2 to 4, but the guy shows up at 3:59, I can't bitch.

Honestly, man, a 3-hour window is like a small window.

I've had ones where it's like noon to 6.

It's like, what the hell is that?

3 hours is like a, a small window for us.

I feel like these days normally they're coming on a specific day and you'll get a call in the morning with the timeframe. Calls.

They've called me 20 times, by the way. Do you wanna change it? No, I don't wanna change it. I want to keep it.

Is the TV serviceman or Giannis the bigger pain in the ass? I can't tell who has a tougher time keeping time.

Well, no, Giannis is the bigger pain in the ass because ultimately the TV service guy is going to fulfill your every wish and need. Ah. Right? Take him, Miami Heat.

Get the TV service guy.

He's the missing— I'll let you know his stats when he walks up, if he's a big guy, you know, maybe.

Like, is that not a tremendous feeling when the guy, like, when he says, Okay, we could do this and we could— like when he's figured out the lay of the land. All right, we can solve this.

And he tells you it's going to be shorter than the timetable too.

It's a beautiful feeling when you can get done what you need to get done. I'm telling you, when you move into a new home, by far the most important thing is the TV and the internet guy. Don't come at