Transcript of Ron Magill Is Back, Jack! Make The Flamingo Florida's State Bird! | Hour 3 New

This is the Dan Levitt Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Few reminders here. You can get us in all of the mainstream places for podcasts: Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music. You can also, if you want this as a radio show, SiriusXM Channel 85 is where you go. If you want some mainstream television options, Peacock, NBC Sports Now, Monday through Friday from 12 to 3 Eastern, and on YouTube YouTube Live as well. I don't know how many of these you have, uh, Zaslo, because, uh, you are not the kids today. Uh, are you somebody who watches anything on Samsung TV Plus?

No.

I am.

Yeah, I do too.

Yeah, we all are. Great product.

Yeah, yeah, we love, we love it.

The Roku channel, do you watch it there?

No.

This is a bad game.

I also, I love Roku.

Love Roku.

Love Roku.

Let's not do that.

Vizio WatchFree Plus.

I have a Vizio TV.

Yeah, good, good.

MyFree DirecTV.

I have DirecTV.

Oh, you're learning now.

There you go.

Google.

Google TV.

Yes, yes. The answer is yes here.

Sling FreeStream.

You love it.

Tubi. Yeah. DraftKingsNetwork.com.

Your absolute favorite.

Yeah, that's my favorite one.

Very good. Ron McGill will be with us here shortly. I just heard in my headset, which can be a little bit of air traffic control. I just heard heard the phrase, "Yeah, hold on, I'm moving the horse fart." That's something I just— I just—

what was that in reference to?

We'll have Ron McGill move in a second. It really does sound a bit like a leaf blower. It, it's beyond chainsaw. We'll, we'll play an assortment of sounds for Ron McGill. Also this weekend, if you want to be a part of watching some mixed martial arts with Tony, you can do so this weekend. He's got a livestream. Zazz is actually weirdly excited about Gina Carano again against Ronda Rousey, which is confusing to me. I don't know why he's excited about this.

I think it's gonna be a shit show, so like, I'm into seeing it. I mean, I don't know that there's anyone out there who has a more inflated sense of worth than Ronda Rousey.

And Apex Mountain.

So I'm interested in seeing what she looks like, and I think she's likely going to crush Gina Carano. I'm not even sure how good Gina Carano was when she last fought 17 years ago. So I, I think it's going to be a total clown show.

It's going to be awesome. It's going to be super fun. It's brought to you by Netflix MMA Hangout, streaming live at Levittard Show on YouTube starting at 8 PM. Then we've got Gina Carano versus Ronda Rousey.

I just said all that.

We I said it better. We also have Mike Perry versus Nate Diaz in the UNCC Backyard Brawl Off, which is going to be super exciting. The return of Francis Ngannou, Dan, and Robelis de España, the Cuban fighter. We have everything for you live, 8 PM on Saturday night. Gina Carano versus Ronda Rousey, uh, presented by Netflix.

His nickname is the Cuban fighter. No, but I'm just reminding Dan that one time you said you're like the Cuban fighter.

Well, no, he's like 6 foot 8.

He's huge.

He's jacked.

Scary.

I mean, Dan, you, you tell me, Ronda Rousey thinks she's a little bit bigger than she actually is.

And so the fact that you haven't done this for 10 years, would it be fair to say that this could be the best version of you that we see?

It definitely is, because what made me exceptional as a martial artist is my grasp with martial arts. You know, everything that I did in the cage was unprecedented and witty and really smart. It wasn't that I was just I wasn't like— people compared me to Mike Tyson, but it wasn't that I was so much stronger or like bigger or like faster than everybody, because I'm an incredible martial artist and your mind doesn't stop working on those things. You know, that's one of the things that just gets better and better with time. And so what made me the best is better than it's ever been because I have more experience and because I am older.

I don't know if this is happening to the rest of you. I'll put that side of sound— I'll put that sound aside for a second. The thing that's happening to me in terms of time is when they say Skip Bayless hadn't been on First Take for 10 years, I can't believe it's been 10 years. I also can't believe it's been 10 years since that was a phenomenon. I'm stunned that that was 10 years ago.

Holly Holm completely just kicked her out of nowhere, and that was the end of Ronda Rousey. I want to say that was '15 or '16.

I feel like Zazz set that sound up though to mock her for the Tyson reference. People were calling her the tight— like the Tyson of MMA at the time.

Uh, I mean, I, I may have— I may have thrown to the wrong clip there, but there's another spot where she was asked why should people watch the fight this weekend, and she says, well, you know, I, I wish I could have seen Tyson or Ali.

And it's like, you may have shown the wrong clip.

She's not wrong. She was a phenom when it comes to women's combat sports. She is the Mike Tyson. And a lot like Mike Tyson, well after her Prime. She's fighting on Netflix and is going to draw a big audience.

Am I the only one though that is stunned by both of those things being 10 years ago that I just mentioned? That it's been 10 years since Skip Bayless was on First Take, uh, he had a recent appearance where the numbers went up, and it's been 10 years since Holly Holm took out Ronda Rousey. I'm, I'm surprised that that's been 10 years. It doesn't seem like it's been that long ago. And otherwise, if I were to tell you, you have fighters that haven't fought in 10 years or 17 years, that's not something that most people would sign up for, right?

And I mean, look, she's— they— she trying to sell the fight, but you're not at your best 10 years after your last fight when you were at your worst when you retired 10 years ago. You are not at your best. And Gina Carano, like I said, maybe I'm not remembering correctly, was Gina Carano a great fighter?

No, no.

And she left—

Pioneer— can we say pioneer of the sport?

She was good for the promotion that she was in.

And she last fought— like, I feel like Gina Carano's got a little bit of Anna Kournikova to her.

I mean, it's celebrity boxing.

It's—

I mean, Kimbo was at the height of that promotion. Uh, so this fight's gonna be terrible. It's, it's all about marketing.

So what?

Oh, I know you don't want to see them.

You want to see a backyard ball between Mike Perry and Nate Diaz?

You want to see that? I'm going to— who cares if I think it's gonna be good or not? I'm watching it.

Who cares?

I have a shocking take. I like watching people fight for money.

Me too.

I dig it.

Men, women, not kids. I don't like robots.

I don't like robots fighting for money either.

I'll watch a BattleBots clip on my algo. Fight for money, I'm in.

Claymation.

I, I love Celebrity Deathmatch.

Oh, remember they had Eddie Vedder versus Scott Stapp one time? I was into that.

Ron McGill is with us now. We haven't seen him in a while. We miss him. We have an assortment of sounds to play for him. I don't know if he's still allowed to wear that shirt as a retired member of the zoo now that he is officially retired. Uh, but let's play an assortment of sounds for him. The first sound, uh, we've been wearing this out. Uh, Ron, have you ever heard any animal, uh, be gassy for as long as this horse was gassy?

Welcome back, Ron.

Woo!

Sounded like a motorcycle race.

Have you ever heard that from an animal? What's the longest you've heard an animal do that?

Generally, generally a horse. Gorillas are also pretty notorious for having long flatulence. But that horse, that horse was probably colic. Which is why I was laying down like that. Um, you know, horses can get upset stomachs pretty easily. You tend to have to walk them around to get things moving so that gas comes out. You can see how she was pressing on his belly there to try to relieve the stomachache, because what happens with a horse is if it colics, which is basically getting a bad stomachache, it might roll violently, and by doing so, it can actually twist its intestines and can actually lead to death. So they have to be very careful.

Well, that took a darker turn than I was expecting. But if I were to simply tell you guys that this was not a horse farting, if I were to tell you, hey, there's construction happening in a nearby yard. If I made you guys guess, there's no one that's guessing that that's a horse. No one. If I give you only the sound.

You're right. You're right. I wouldn't guess it was a horse. Like I said, motorcycle race, chainsaw, something.

Two of my favorite words there, you're right. I've been feeling them all day since getting the thing right before. When I was saying that you can get a robe at only expensive hotels.

You right.

Thank you. I really do. I want to change the name of the show to You're Right. Let's play. Let's play for Ron here. What animal here, Ron, is this?

Not a pig. Could be a pig or a frog. Pig frog.

That is Greg Cody. That's Greg Cody's stomach. That is not a pig or a frog. It's just the stomach of Greg Cody.

Wow, that's, uh, that's unfortunate.

Thank you for being on with us, Ron.

We appreciate it.

I have some videos here to play for Ron McGill. Are you enjoying retirement, by the way? Uh, because we have not talked to you since you were officially retired.

Yeah, yeah, you know, officially retired last Friday and, uh, just got back from Los Angeles last night, so kind of enjoyed some time with the family out there. And, uh, you know, getting ready to start with the foundation on June 1st, so I'm going to enjoy these few days here and just kind of relax unwind a little bit.

Do you sleep in now?

I did sleep in a little bit this morning, especially since I got in from LA last night late, and I'm still on that LA time. So I, you know, usually I wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning without an alarm clock. This morning I went to 7.

I want to play some videos for you here. We've had a handful here because they're collecting, because we haven't had you on in a while. Uh, watch this bear. Do some play-by-play on what it is this bear is doing with this tiger.

Oh, this bear is challenging a tiger. That's a sloth bear, and I've seen a sloth bear. He's protecting her cub, and that's a big challenge. And that's it. Saw it happen right there. Um, people think that the tiger is the, you know, the, the pinnacle of predation in India, but the sloth bear can be very, very dangerous, especially when she's protecting her cubs. And that's what she's doing. She's trying to make herself look as large as possible, making herself realize, hey, listen, you want to come in my cub, you got to come through me first. Tiger goes, nope, no thank you.

Now, is the cub there terrified or doing like a hold me back? It looks like in this video like the cub is like, hold me back, Mom, I'll get him.

Well, that's your inventive mind there, uh, Chris.

Let's roll it again. I'm telling you, I'm seeing a little hold me back here.

Mom, protect me, Mom. Notice he's behind him.

Watch right here, watch right here, watch. He's like, not get—

I'll get him, Mom.

Nah, that's right.

Look, I'm coming with you.

Ron, would the bear win that fight?

I've seen the bear actually actually, you know, yeah, when I say win the fight, it wouldn't kill the tiger, but it would give enough damage that the tiger would say, this is not that important to me, and run away.

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Chris Cody, when you come over to my house and we put on the games, I got basketball, I got baseball going on. But what do I lay out for you and the boys? For entertainment and drinking.

Miller Lite!

Uh-huh.

Those beautiful white cans, or on draft, or the bottle if you prefer.

Oh, when you open that with the can though, and you—

kkkk—

one of the best sounds on the planet. You pair that with the right game, you take that first sip, we both look around. It's not a bit.

I have goosebumps thinking about the first sip.

We take that first sip, we open it up, and we're looking around. There's just that 5 seconds of almost eerie silence where you're just soaking it all in. And you're like, man, did we make the right call or what? That's why we reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients.

Oh, that golden color.

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Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time! Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Tony, you know that moment at a party or a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

I know it well. It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo.

Walking like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night.

It has that effect on people.

It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it Cuervo!

Keep it Cuervo, baby!

Don Lebatard.

The elephant went into a 7-Eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes. But my question to Ron is this.

Stugatz!

That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it? We all just stared at it.

This is the Don Lebatard Show with Stugatz.

Let's play for Ron, uh, the video of a pelican.

I love this.

And he keeps telling us not to feed the animals. He says that that's not wise.

Here's a pelican, 37-year-old pelican.

Yeah, makes its way daily into this restaurant where they give fish.

Looks like Mykonos, Dan.

Yeah, just walks right—

it's passing the host booth right now.

Yeah, just walks right in, makes a reservation, sits down, and gets a little bit of fish, uh, thrown its way. What are your thoughts here, Ron?

Well, you know, yes, theoretically you shouldn't be feeding the wildlife. Um, this pelican now— I love it. Well, he's massive for the rest of his life. You know, God forbid that restaurant goes out of business and the pelican goes, hey, where's my fish? Now Gotta learn to fish on its own. You know, this is what happens when you start feeding wildlife. It starts depending on people and then becomes a nuisance or becomes inept in getting its food on its own, and that becomes a problem.

No, good at getting food on its own. Just makes the reservation there with Larry David, goes right in and gets whatever it is that it wants to eat, gets fish served fresh. Uh, let's play the video here of the skunk and let's see what it is that Ron has to do with play-by-play here. Ron.

Okay, it's a skunk with her offspring trying to cross the road, convincing the offspring, follow me, stay behind me. No, no, hey, you got to stay behind me. God, come stay behind me, you're gonna get run over.

My kid does the same thing. It's like, let's go, we're crossing the street, we gotta pick up the pace.

I'm just learning to walk, Mom. I don't even have my feet under me yet. Stay with me, stay with me. Come on, let's go, let's go. Don't make me have to stink this kid out. Let's go, come on. Jesus Christmas. Oh my God, the skunk. These kids, I'm not having any more of these. I'm telling you that right now. I'm done with kids. Come on, let's go.

You ever been sprayed by a skunk?

Who's been— I have almost been sprayed. It almost just happened in Patagonia. Lifted up the tail and started to, you know, tighten those little squirt muscles, but I got out of the way just in time.

But it's a culpa tuya.

No, no, what are you doing lifting up the tail of a skunk? Yeah, I do lift the tail up the skunk tail. Lifts up on its own when it goes in a defensive, uh, position. I came around the corner, I didn't see the skunk there in the high grass, and then all of a sudden I saw the tail flash up and I went, oh, what? I didn't get skunked.

This next video that we're going to show you, Ron, something like this has happened to me on multiple occasions where there are ducks in the road or a turtle and I'm trying to help them to the other side of the street, but it's not where they want to be. So when I rescue them, something like this happens where the turtle all of a sudden is a lot faster than I thought it was. It wanted to go the other way. This officer puts it on the other side of the road, and now the turtle is saying, bleep off, lady, I don't want to be where you want me to be. I'm going the other way. And then moving faster than I thought a turtle could move.

Well, you, first of all, you should always— and I tell people this all the time— that's a softshell turtle. You need to be very careful because that thing could bite the heck out of you. They have a neck that comes out like a slingshot, give you a bad bite. You should always move a turtle in the direction it was going in the first place. Okay, I suspect that that turtle was going the other way and she thinks, oh my God, I want to get it back into the woods where it's safe. But that's a softshell turtle that wants to get back into the water. So that's what it was doing there. And they can run, you know, quite quickly, not any quicker than you can. It looks like it's running a lot faster because those flippers are moving very quickly, but you can run a lot faster than that.

I love that this cop, this cop gives a thumbs up afterwards like she did a good job. It's like, no, you screwed this up.

She did a terrible job.

Oh, what she's saying is it's okay, he's going to be okay. That's not saying she did a good job. What do you guys always want?

She's like, look at me, everyone. Good job.

Oh no, he tried to help it out. She realized you put it on the wrong side, but it's okay because it got into the water. It's safe now. Thumbs up, thumbs up. Turtle's okay. That's all she's saying. Cody, why do you got to rag on people?

I would love to see a video of Dan helping some ducks across the street. Like, just like somebody in the road just like, oh, is that Dan Lebatard?

Ron, uh, Valerie was at the zoo the other day and came back saying that you have a turtle that's been alive since the 1800s. Is that true?

That's Goliath. He's 135 years old. He's the oldest animal at the zoo. And to make it even more impressive, he became a father for the first time last year at the age of 134. Gives us all hope.

He's the one that you tickle his neck, right?

That's the one, brother. You know the size. 525 pounds of tortoise.

How long will that live? Like, what is the— what is the oldest an animal can live? The old—

well, the oldest vertebrate animal can live is the, the, the Greenland shark, which can live over 300 years. Um, but after that, it's the, it's the turtle, the giant tortoises, and they have been documented to live over 200 years.

Staying in the turtle category, I ask you, what's happening here? And what kind of play-by-play can you give us on what's happening with this turtle right here?

He's kind of like in a little trance there, sleeping a little bit, kind of dozing off, enjoying whatever current is going on there, just kind of dozing off. Eventually he'll tortoise to the water to take a big gulp of air. But these turtles— and there's also some fish, you see the, the tangs on the back, they're kind of eating the algae off of his shell. So he's kind of being groomed and he's kind of setting himself to get any external parasites. They go into like this trance. It's like when I did that with the giant tortoise at the zoo, Goliath. If you scratch his neck, he goes up and stretches and stays perfectly still. It's a symbiotic relationship so that other animals can take the ticks off. For instance, the giant tortoise, it's a bird that goes in there and takes the ticks off and he stays Still like that. But with this sea turtle, it's other fish that come in there and kind of groom him that way.

I will remind the audience that you are the biggest supporter that Ron has of the endowment that has gotten quite substantive. And he will continue even though he is retiring. He will continue to run the endowment. And that endowment cuts out all of the bureaucracy on where it is that your money goes. And Ron spends it immediately on fine dining and cars and expensive clothes. And you should continue to support the Ron McGill Endowment the way that you do, because you do it better than anyone in the history of the zoo has done as an audience. So thank you for that. And please continue to do that because, as you said, Ron, in retirement, you're still going to be doing all of the endowment things that you've been doing that include embezzlement. You just agreed with it.

I am going to be managing the endowment.

Absolutely was the quote.

And providing scholarships for deserving kids to learn more about conservation. But also, Dan, on another thing, not on this segment, but plant the seed for the next time I'm on. I want your fans to get behind making the flamingo the state bird of Florida. Okay, I'm back.

I like that.

I'm about to fight a big battle, and we're going to get into the politics of it later on. But like, there's this one person up in Tallahassee who's trying to stop it, and this— it's a no-brainer. Flamingos are back now in Florida, and it's a great sign how Everglades restoration is working. Everybody thinks the flamingo is the state bird of Florida anyway. The state bird is actually the mockingbird, which is the state state bird of 4 other states: Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas, Texas. We need to have something that's our own that no one else can have. It's the flippin' flamingo! So I want people to start getting it because I'm going to get on that bandwagon this time next year. My goal is to make the flamingo the state bird of Florida.

Flamingo, flamingo, flamingo, flamingo, flamingo, my friend!

Whoa!

Hey, hey, they got to him too!

Max! Hey, subset! The Florida Scrub Jay is going to be the state songbird. Scrub Jay is going to be the official state songbird. So you have two beautiful birds that can only be seen in Florida. Perfect iconic birds, beautiful birds. We don't have to share with any other state. It makes us the unique beautiful state that we are.

Fluh!

Yeah!

Ming!

Go!

Yeah! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Start it, Matt! You guys can start this here. We can— yeah, you go. I already got the picture up there. That's what I'm talking about, baby. All right.

How and what can the audience do to support your cause here? Even though you're saying we're not gonna do it yet for another year, what is it that you are doing?

No, no, we're doing it now. This time next year, I want it to be passed because there's a bill that we're gonna put in through the House. Representative Mooney is a great guy. He's gonna push this bill through. It was voted 112 to 1 in favor to do it last year, and then it died on the vine in the Senate because there's a very powerful lobbyist who's trying to make it her goal to make sure it never gets through. She wants to make sure it's always the mockingbird. I'm done with this. I'm done with the politics. You know, that's a good question. But the bottom line is, you know, the flamingo needs to be the state bird of Florida. It's a no-brainer. It's an iconic animal. I just came from L.A. There's posters in the airport at LAX. Say, visit Florida. And what's on the poster? Visit Florida. It's not a flippin' mockingbird. I can tell you that right now.

Uh, Chris Cody, uh, just said to me that over your right shoulder, that vase needs a better table, needs a bigger table. There's a problem with the nervous— that thing's gonna fall, uh, with the size of, uh, and the weight.

No, it's just tilted. It's a basket. It's a basket from Panama.

Of course it is.

Yes, it's a handmade basket. I mean, that basket took over a year to make for the long class.

Basket weaving, difficult. Let's play another sound for Ron McGill and have him guess what animal this is.

Oh, oh, that's it. That's a Greg Cody burp.

That's correct. Well done. You've gotten good at this game. We can't trick him multiple times. He's Ron McGill. He's the most popular guest in the history of the show. It's nice to have you back. And please continue to support the Ron McGill causes because he's doing the right work the right way and always does. Thank you, sir.

Thank you, go Flamingos!

Uh, we will get behind that cause for you, we will see if we can help. Somebody that you guys are behind, I'm surprised by this, you guys were very excited that Ari—

Dan, big breaking news in the world of hockey. Chris Knobloch, known for looking like a Pixar dad and also coaching the Edmonton Oilers, is no longer coaching the Edmonton Oilers. He has been fired.

Peace out.

Good news is still very much looks like a Pixar dad.

How do you guys feel about that? That's because you've got injuries. And Roy, your thoughts here?

Well, the Edmonton Oilers, how they handled that firing was completely unacceptable because several days before they asked permission for the Vegas Golden Knights to interview Bruce Cassidy, who they fired a couple of weeks before the playoffs. They still had Chris Knoblauch as their head coach. So the way they went about it is Terrible.

Huh. But if you're going to fire him, whether, you know, you go about it correctly or not, there are better ways to do it. But he's got two enduring players and doesn't win enough. Like, him being fired isn't terribly surprising, is it?

No, it's not surprising, but it's still unprofessional how the Edmonton Oilers did that.

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Dan Levittard.

There is no question, Dan Levittard Show included, anybody else, that this guy is the best player on the planet. Whether he wins the Stanley Cup or the Conn Smythe this year, there is no question about it.

Stugatz.

Overrated?

Wait, what's going on? Dan Levittard, how you doing? Are we living in an altered world or what? Oh my goodness.

This is the Dan Levittard Show with Stugatz.

Somebody's gonna get gonged if— it's not gonna be McDavid, like, somebody's gonna get gonged if you have those kinds of enduring failures. Even though, uh, to me, I always think it's explanation, not excuse, when a guy is hurt, but not good enough when you're a legend like McDavid. And that that franchise is going to suffer when they're knocked out in the first round. There's going to be punitive measures. But I was beginning to say, uh, you guys were excited, uh, by Ari Shaffir, who is the latest guest on South Beach Sessions. I will ask you all, uh, this is long overdue, it's, it's years overdue, but South Beach Sessions now has its own channel on YouTube. And I would ask you to subscribe if you want to partake in longer form conversations that are intimate, vulnerable, biographical. And you have some people people that you care about talking about things perhaps in ways that you haven't heard them talk before. Uh, why is it that you guys were so excited about Ari Shaffir? I was surprised you—

good for you, Dan—

you specifically, uh, says were excited about that. Uh, is there any particular reason? Is it because you guys like, uh, is his latest special Jew? I think his latest special is called Simply Jew.

Ari's an interesting guy because he's very nomadic. He's like in his 50s, never been married, doesn't and get married. Like, he's often like Patagonia, like Ron McGill. You Be Trippin' is a cool podcast of him going to different places and kind of absorbing the culture. He's a very, uh, eccentric guy. So it's a good get for you, Dan. I love Ari.

He does travel show, yes, and he does psychedelics. But the last time I saw him, okay, this was a bit surreal because this was me meeting him, okay? It was sort of a Goodfellas-style scene in the back of a restaurant, like behind the kitchen, with him and a bunch of his comedian friends. And the way he looked was Strange. Let's play the clip of how Ari decided to look for a month of his life. I'm gonna backtrack for everybody here. Last time I saw you, it was in the back of a restaurant that felt a bit like Goodfellas.

They hated us.

Uh, it was a comedian's— a lot of comedians were at dinner, and you shot— fairly shockingly had half a beard and, and half of a haircut. I don't know how long this phase lasted.

It went for about a month.

It went for—

I did it that day, I think, because I was doing a show. I was like, let me just around for the show. And then I was like, I think I was on the way home and some drunk white lady was like, "I like that, I love that." And I was like, I'm keeping this for a while then. Children, dude, would be like, they'd just point, they'd pull up their mom's skirt, like, "Mom, mom, mom." And so I'm like, I'm keeping it. Yeah, probably a month. It was so wild. Who'd you say I looked like then? There was some, it wasn't like Nick Foles. You'd say it was somebody I looked like.

It was brave of you to do it for even a month. It was a terribly bad decision all around.

People would see me from just this side and they would talk like normal, and then I'd turn, they're like, what the fuck?

What, man?

Or I'd have two people talking both this way and they couldn't— neither one could see. They're like, oh, he's just shaved.

Oh, he's just fully haired.

Um, yeah, those people fucking hated us.

And what—

Salacuse kept taking pictures and they were like, stop with the pictures. And he's like, all right. He would just sneak them. And they were like, we're going to throw you out. It really was like a Goodfellas place.

I'm gonna end up going to that again next year because I didn't— Valerie got sick and I didn't end up getting to go to any of the shows that I wanted to go to, but I was telling you guys earlier in this week, the way Netflix purchases almost all of comedy, the photograph, we're gonna ask, I'm gonna ask video to see if they can find the photograph of the party at Ted Sarandos's house where you just have all of the comedians, everybody in comedy that you've ever seen or cared about or would sell out a show was at the home of Netflix's CEO. And that week, very famous comedians who always sell out were having trouble selling out because there were so many comedians playing all over the city that there was more comedy than there were people who enjoy comedy who could get to all of the shows because of what it is that Netflix has done. I just can't even imagine how much it cost. I can't imagine how much money Netflix has that they're able to spend it the way that they do.

We were watching— my wife and I were watching the roast of Kevin Hart, and she's like, man, like, everybody's there. And I'm like, yeah, like, Netflix does this thing where Netflix is a joke. They bring in all these comedy guys, like, so they just bought comedy. And I'm like, yeah, essentially what they did was they saw instead of putting your stuff out on YouTube or some, some other special or the HBO special, which everybody was trying to achieve at the, you know, end of the 2000s or whatever, it's like now you need a Netflix special. And they basically come in said, you got jokes, we got money.

Dan, do you have a chance to go?

I didn't get to go to a single thing, not one thing.

Like, I wanted to see you there in that photo.

That would have been fun. You had, uh, you had like Larry David sitting down doing a Q&A with Seinfeld. Like, it was just— it was, it was really an amazing week to be close to, but I was bummed because I didn't get to do absolutely anything. Uh, something else that was funny though that I wanted to get to, uh, because I've been talking about, uh, the time distortion of the last 10 years and, and specifically what the time has done to Daniil Medvedev. Because the last time I think that we played sound of Medvedev on this show was him going maximum villain taunting a crowd. Let's play the sound of him taunting the people who were booing. Him.

Well, uh, first of all, what I can say that thank you all, guys, because your energy tonight give me the win. Because if you were not here, guys, I would probably lose the match because I was so tired. I was cramping yesterday. It was so tough for me to play. So I want all of you to know, when you sleep tonight, I won because of you.

So that's 4 years ago. Now let's pair that against— and this is largely a visual joke, so I will simply tell the audience— that Medvedev, while strapped with a lot of tennis equipment, is trying to get on to the court, and there is just a guy obliviously stretching in front of him. And Medvedev looks like he is brooding there, looks like he is less happy than he was when he was being Like, who are you?

You're one of these two people in life. Yeah, I'm sadly the guy in front.

There was that one clip that we played a couple of weeks ago of him totally destroying his racket, uh, multiple times because, yeah, the last four years have been hard. Medvedev, man. Yeah, I feel you.

He's just like—

identified with an athlete more over the course of time than Medvedev.

I see that that racket is right near Roy over there, the, uh, the racket that Greg Cody said he could easily break a racket and it took him several tries in order to break it.

We tried to return the racket, but it didn't work.

We've been celebrating around here Zaslo's relationship with Tamara, his wife of many years. She has relegated him to under the covers watching on the tablet because she is mad about his wrestling habit. And I heard you grumbling today, and I don't know whether Tamara would be displeased about me revealing your grumbling, but what is the issue that you are presently having with Tamara and how mad she is about your wrestling habit?

Yeah, I mean, so every time I go on a trip to go see WWE, and most recently was this past weekend, and it wasn't that far, like we were able to drive. Went to Tampa, okay, and we saw a big WWE show. But these, these shows are expensive. The travel is expensive, and tickets to WWE, especially because I refuse to sit anywhere but ringside, are very expensive. And it's always embarrassing. Like, I never tell her when I'm buying the tickets. I just buy it, all right? I don't tell her how much. I just buy it. But inevitably, there's going to be a moment when we come back that she says to me, how much did these tickets cost? And of course she did that yesterday. How much did these tickets cost? And there's always like shame that washes over me when she asks me and I have to admit to her that I paid X amount of dollars. And then she goes, total for the two? I go, no, no, no, that's per ticket. And that's, that's, that's never a fun admission.

Have you considered the strategy of lying No, well, I—

of course I can lie, but then, like, we share a bank account. She sees the bank statements. She sees—

but if you say confidently, she's not gonna go like— she's not gonna be like, oh, I think he's lying, let me go check. She's gonna be like, okay.

Oh no, I mean, I, I'm not saying it like— I'm not withering when I'm saying it to her. I tell her with my chest out, all right? But it, it is, it is embarrassing when I tell her I'm a grown man and I'm still paying this much money for pro wrestling tickets.

You can't get away with that lie, Chris, if she's got access to the bank accounts and there's going to be some mystery charge there that's way too large. Okay, perhaps you have done it, but this expense is something she's asking about because it's a galling expense. She's going to— that lie is going to unravel quickly. That's not a good lie you're telling, right?

I mean, I could easily hide something that cost me, you know, $60. She's not going to notice that. But when she sees the massive several thousand dollar charge charge on the credit card. It's like, all right, what is this?

When you say she's not going to notice that, there was something about the Ari Shaffir, uh, conversation that you guys didn't notice, which is the hat he was wearing, which was the funniest part of the entire conversation. Because he's in New York and he bought this hat, and he bought it at a place where it's supposed to be an Aaron Judge hat, but they spelled, uh, his last name, uh, the first word of his last name was spelled with a G. So it's an Aaron Gudge hat, uh, number 99 of the New York Yankees. Uh, he purchased it specifically because he noticed the typo and it was an incredibly cheap hat, not because he likes Aaron Gudge.

Uh, Ari, big sports fan, Dan. You get the sports with Ari?

Uh, we had a portion of the conversation about why aren't people in, in sports funnier because he used to do a sports podcast. I think it was called Punch Drunk Sports. Uh, and I don't think this made the interview, But he was saying, yeah, we would do funny stuff. Like one example, when Ray Rice's video came out, we had an MMA fighter come on and say how he should defend that situation.

You cut that?

Yeah.

I'm like, that's probably why more people aren't trying funny in sports, because there is the risk of that particular mistake being made by somebody whose judgment isn't quite sound journalistically when it comes to sports. He's like, but we had a big following.

Yeah.

You'd get a big following doing things like that.

Well, I'm glad we revealed it.

It's Ari, he's fine.

Good judge.

He can do whatever he wants.

He'd probably be mad you got it.

Exactly. Trust me, Ari says and does whatever he wants.

That is correct. That is exactly what he does. I don't have to do that, but yes, I mean—

Those are his thoughts and opinions.

That's correct.

We are clear.

The part that actually winds up bothering me when she asks me how much the tickets are and then I see her reaction, I'm thinking to myself like, does she not know Roman Reigns was in the main event? That's not a small— like, that's not possible. That's not a cheap ticket. So of course it's gonna cost this amount of money. It's Roman Reigns.

She could pull Roman Reigns out of a lineup, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does she know all the wrestlers like you do or no?

You're like, babe, this is— she knows the Roman Reigns is Roman Reigns.

Goldberg knows Roman Reigns, okay?

Probably knows The Miz.

I don't like Bill Goldberg.

Oh, I didn't know you weren't a Goldberg guy.

He's a Bret Hart guy.

You can't be a Bill Goldberg guy if you're a Bret Hart guy.

Oh God, get with the program, Tony.

On your—

there's 3 things we know about you: I'm not a cuck and I don't like Bill Goldberg.

Dan, on the list of things that your wife is most disgusted about you—

not disgusted, it's a strong word, but okay, play along.

I don't think that this is playing. I think she's disgusted by your wrestling habit. How high on the list of things that she'd like you to grow up about is her bothered by your wrestling habit?

I mean, she doesn't seem to appreciate when I'm sitting down on Monday and I'm turning on Monday Night Raw, watching my stories, and I, I say to her, Cody Rhodes is coming out, and she just keeps walking. She doesn't really like that. She doesn't care, or she didn't care. I don't know.

Is there something else, though, that she would say, my husband needs to grow up, we have teenage kids, he needs to be a little bit more mature? Is there something more than wrestling that she would choose than the amount of money that you're spending on wrestling and the amount of time you're spending watching wrestling that makes her—

No, wrestling is—

—to the tablet?

It's definitely the wrestling because like I told you a couple of weeks ago, there was a stretch where I was watching wrestling like 8 consecutive nights. It was like WrestleMania weekend, and she doesn't understand. Like, she's like, again, this is 8 days in a row you're watching wrestling.

I'm like, this is WrestleMania week. She's disgusted by you.