Transcript of The Lou Gehrig's Day Telethon To End ALS | Local Hour New

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I know that some people are well past exhausted, me talking about my fascination with streaming and how you find things. But today is a big day for the show and for Boog's charity. And so when I tell the audience, go find Bonetti's game, Detroit is playing Tampa Bay, go find Boog's game, the Cubs are playing and he broadcasts Cubs games. If you want to hear the broadcast infiltrated by Cody catchphrases because they've already started doing it. Bonetti did how many last night? Because he was just warming up. But I'm telling you, I'm scared of how much Bonetti is going to cost me. And the reason I went $100 with him is because he's capable of doing all 40 in like 4 innings because he's a crazy person. Boog respects baseball too much. He's only going to do 3 or 4 here, so I'll give him $500. Bonetti's matching every time he does it, so we've got some sort of cost control.

So the issue here with the Bonetti one, there's 4 that he played yesterday that he said 2 have some controversy behind them.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

Wait a minute, but Boog's had some controversy behind it. Boog's only done 1. Roy, can you get me Boog's please? Boog has only done one of these, and what was supposed to be— Boog's rate is $500 per catchphrase, $1,000 if he sings it, and "Hee Haw 3" was $1,000 because with the bidet up, it is sung. But Boog ended up getting not $1,000 because he did it this way.

You know, the plate umpire will drop his signature like "Hee Haw 3" or whatever.

See, "or whatever" disrespects the bidet up.

It sure does.

It does, Roy, don't look at me that way, it does. The "or whatever," he's scared of it, he's not respecting the game enough, he's doing— or whatever is him being self-conscious of, I'm doing a little joke and I'm a little scared and I've disrespected sacred baseball.

Yeah, it's an insult to the catchphrase countdown.

Look, play it again so people can hear him leak confidence at the end of that and not give you the bidet up, give you an "or whatever." You know, the plate umpire will drop his signature like Hee haw, 3 or whatever. Put it on the poll, did Boog disrespect the bidet up? What's the controversy around the first, the 2 of the, 4, 2 of the Benettis are clean, 2 of the Benettis we'll recognize, laugh at, and love.

I'm concerned now that I listen to Boog's and you guys are criticizing that one the way that you are, that all of these are gonna get criticized. An ability to squeeze these catchphrases into a broadcast with any sort of natural cadence is a feat. And to me, I have no controversy around any of them. All right, Tony was yelling at me.

Jeremy, this is the top of the food chain on baseball broadcasting. Not now, ever. These two guys go in the ever category of this. It may be hard for us to do, be hard for somebody who doesn't know anything about a construction business to run a construction business. Who would do that?

That'd be silly.

But these are the best we've got, like these two guys. And so you're telling me I'm gonna be unimpressed by the four of these? Well, Cody, how will Cody feel about the four of these?

I think that, well, Cody loves everything that involves him whatsoever, so he's gonna love all four. For me, there's at least two of them that we're all gonna agree, well done. The other two, we'll see.

I have a hard line though when it comes to people not representing correctly what is my intellectual property.

You thought the bidet up was disrespected, correct? When he says hee haw 3, you— I think you said that was worth $500, and then you heard it, you knocked it down to $400. What was supposed to be worth $1,000, you're saying is now just $400. Boog cost— Boog cost people with ALS $600. I think we can say that.

Yes, he did. You know, the only solution here really is to Pardon me?

Hee haw, 3 or whatever.

This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This is a big day today, and I do wonder, is it going to be easy for our audience to find Rays, Tigers, and whoever it is the Cubs are playing today? Because Boog and Jason Bonetti are going to pollute their broadcasts with a bunch of Greg Cody catchphrases. We do not know how many. As we continue to raise money today, ProjectMainStreet.org. Today is Lou Gehrig Day, and at 1 o'clock, Boog Shambe has a live auction that goes up with a number of great prizes. And so we're going to lead you up to all of that because Boog is trying to break a record in the amount of money that he makes as baseball actually genuflects today on behalf of this cause that Boog Shambe— it's very important to Boog Shambe. You can imagine, right? Not hard It's hard to imagine seeing a friend, someone you love, trapped inside their body and then walking them home all the way. You can imagine that would change you to watch that. And Boog has poured his heart into this in a way that's substantive and has created a giant charity, something that really does important work. So we're going to help him with that today, and he's going to help us, you know, the way he does, or whatever.

He's going to probably disrespect us and our show because baseball is very important and it's very serious and it's the national pastime. And so to get a Hee Haw 3 on a broadcast is an achievement. So that golden voice, a Hall of Fame baseball broadcasting voice.

So it would be disrespectful to this show if he doesn't infiltrate properly catchphrases on a day he's trying to raise money for maybe the worst disease of humankind.

Correct.

OK.

I think the issue is that it has to be done in the way that the author intended, right? Yes. The letter of the law. If Greg Cody says it a certain way, they gotta say it.

That's good, Tony. He'll— Greg will rule and tell us whether it was done sufficiently or not, correct? That's what we will do. Uh, because I understand what it is that, uh, Zazz is doing, and you know where he just led me, right? Where he just led me is I started saying to myself, really, do we want to do the show where we compare whether it is the worst of the diseases?

Oh yeah, no, I, I know you already went there. Shout out to everyone in the comments section that is already trying to come up with worst diseases. Glad your life has led you here.

That is my opinion. I think it's worse.

Okay, it, it may indeed be the worst, but I didn't think it appropriate. I'm sort of the managing editor here.

It's a competition.

It is a horrible thing because you're fully aware of what your body cannot do. It is torturous. There is a Steve Gleason documentary that made me cry basically for the entire film. This is a horrific affliction.

Okay, for those of you who do not know, because yes, it's horrific, uh, and just, uh, uh, watching my brother die the last 10 months, sort of body, you know, rotting, decomposing, needing, you know, 3 doctors to hold him up to go to the bathroom. Didn't seem as bad to me as what this disease is at the end, because you're just trapped inside. And it seems, if we're gonna do comparison shopping, and I don't feel like we should, but whatever Parkinson's is seems truly, truly terrible in terms of how slowly your entire body and soul get eaten up. But to be trapped inside your own body does seem to be a special kind of horrific. And so that's what we're bringing awareness to today and attention to, because Boog Watch that with one of his best friends. It crushed him and it moved him and it changed him being around the entirety of that experience. I also want to get to seismic things in football. But is it malaria? Is it the Spanish flu? Is it rabies? Or is it bubonic plague? Greg, you've been around covering all Your thoughts? I don't like the dirty demon of debate throwing it to Greg.

I want Tony, Jeremy, somebody else, get me another angel, okay? If we're gonna do this—

What, the angels are gonna espouse the virtues?

Hi, Dan!

It's me!

Kevin Ellis?

Just get me another angel!

Hi, Dan!

Good to be here as the only one who really believes in this around here. What were we talking about? I was too busy doing other stuff.

No, see, that's not how the— no, no, no.

We don't talk about dithyrambs. Death and sickness up here, Dan.

I don't know if you know that or not.

Everything's perfect.

Talk about a no-win topic to discuss.

That's the worst disease ever. That's why he's doing it that way. Yes.

It's like—

There's no way to do it.

You can't— I mean, somebody put some poor fellow out there has bone cancer and he's going, what about me? You just can't win this argument.

He wanted to just make that joke. Bone cancer. Yeah. A lot of people down here with that. I mean, there are so many great diseases throughout time. ALS though, Mount Rushmore. Let's map it out. Zazz? You know what's funniest about that, Mike? What's funniest about that is not you throwing it to Zazz instead of having an age-old just naturally argue. It's that they've put up in preview again and again my inner monolog face because they can't tell the difference between that and the dirty demon in debate. They're distracting me. I got it. I'm not even strumming at the same rate before. No, they don't.

They just heard this.

What?

Yeah.

Roy, do you have the weakest of the Benettis? I don't want— I want this to escalate. I've been gone for a while. I want this to escalate. I want the weakest of the Benettis first. Is the weakest also the most controversial? Would you guys say that the weakest is the most controversial?

Jeremy, you listened to them. You scouted them out. Is the weakest the most controversial? Does there other controversies in other ones?

I think that ultimately each one of these has its own merit. I would just start in chronological order personally because I think the first one has—

I was asking first. Yeah, yeah, I know you do a different show. I want to do the show I want to do. And so what, so what I want is the weakest of these. Roy, you decide, uh, because I'd like to know, uh, I, I just want— I want to escalate here. I believe he was workshopping an angel and— I totally saw what happened. I just need what I need here and I know that none of you three were listening to me. I know. I mean, they were trying to produce on the fly. I know. Maybe we should cut them some slack. This is not— No, no, no.

This is not—

No, this is the inner monolog.

What are you doing? Roy, play what you believe to be the weakest one.

So tomorrow, visit a participating Arby's location and get a free small order of curly fries. Who won? You all did. First pitch, fouled away.

Oh. No. Who won? Not even close.

Who won?

I see what you mean.

He just went, who won? You can't do that.

Yeah, that's it.

You can't do that.

It's a desecration.

He worked it into an R.B.

read.

He went, who won?

It was like hidden.

No, it is. It's too hidden. Look, listen again. You did. So the catchphrase, what number is, uh, who won? I think it was number 29. I'm doing that from memory.

Wow, you got that right.

Who won was number 26.

Oh, so close. Damn! I mean, you want to update it now? Do you want to update it?

I mean, I can.

I'm not done ripping his version of "Who Won." Okay, but yeah, okay, the "Who Won," this is not sufficient. He's got to sing it because these are worth $500. So if he does it, $500 if he does it, and $1,000 if he does any of the ones that are meant to be sung. Did he try to get a half rate there by not singing a phrase that it needs to be sung? What happened here?

So tomorrow, visit a participating Arby's location and get a free small order of curly fries. Who won? You all did. First pitch fouled away.

Now, to his defense, I don't think he knows the cadence that you say it.

Well, this is a production problem. Somebody should have told him that he had to say it that way. Yeah. Like, he— Who won? It's not just— I mean, he needed to be working with somebody. Yes, you can't just send him phrases. We've ruined this already.

So tomorrow, visit a participating Arby's location and get a free small order of curly fries. Who won? You all did.

Foul the way. All right.

While it is an egregious production error that nobody said to Bonetti that he had to sing "Who won?" It is a production feat that you guys left in all the ambient sound around a baseball game that had the mention of curly fries in it instead of just going to the phrase because that's one of the funniest things that's going to happen in these broadcasts today. You're going to hear Bonetti and Boog be exceptional at their jobs, paint a tapestry, and then they're going to stick something in the middle of what they're doing because they're just practicing here. Today's game day. They have not learned how to do this. We need to get in Bonetti's ear and we need to tell him which of these need to be sung. But give me the second of these and let's see. What is that one worth, by the way? $100 for a phrase, uh, $200 for a sung phrase, uh, according to Greg Cody, what's that worth? $50. Okay, so let's get the tally going now. Let's get video. Please produce for me some sort of graphic board that allows me to keep a tally during the show today, and let's do this sort of telethon style.

Oh, the telethon is dead, right? It's not even in danger.

You bring it back.

It's extinct, correct? The telethon is— okay, all right, so you guys keep this tally right because I don't trust this, because already— see, this, this is what happens with my money already. We are at $450, and look what the tally is here. It's $2,100 on the graphic. Like, I'm not going to keep track of this, and you guys can't be trusted to keep track of this. Uh, to me, all right, you guys need to update this 1940 work Microsoft graphic here so that it can tabulate correctly.

On my chicken scratch, I've got Jason Bonetti with a $50 for who won according to Greg.

All right, Tony, I'm putting you in charge of this even though you're a hustler, and I'm afraid some of this money is going to get stolen.

If Bonetti or Boog want to give me a call, I will give them a private tutorial.

They're very busy today. Boog doesn't have any time today. But today is the biggest day of Boog's year.

Okay, you know, get his priorities straight. You know, he's got to pronounce it. What about cholera?

Proceed with the helipharm. $400 for the first phrase is agreed upon. The hee-haw, the flawed hee-haw— It was flawed.

What is the max on 1,000?

Greg, I keep explaining this to the audience, hoping you'll hear it.

1,000 is the maximum. I would give him the maximum. I would give him 400 for that.

Okay.

Yeah.

And it's $50 for Bonetti. How about this one? What is this one worth?

AJ preaches this since he's been here. Just we can't worry about that. We have to concentrate on today's game. Let's do whatever we can and fire up for this game. And it certainly seems like the Tigers have done that.

Yeah, I mean, you're, you're not going to be able to like in the middle of a losing streak, go to AA and play AA teams. Like, you're not going to Scranton.

Damn, I actually thought he was setting up, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley.

I was getting excited. Okay, summer always hits different once the big game starts stacking up. Now you've got finals games on every other night, baseball's rolling all week, racing on the weekends, and suddenly everybody's looking for an excuse to get together. The other night, a buddy texted me, "We've got the game on, come through." I figured I'd stop by for maybe an hour. That was optimistic. Next thing you know, everybody's locked into the game and we're all part of the coaching staff. Somebody's yelling at the ref, somebody else is suddenly an expert on pitch strategy, and nobody's even pretending they're leaving early anymore. It's one of those nights where you take a sip of Miller Lite, look around, and realize, yeah, this is exactly what summer is supposed to be. That's why Miller Lite is always part of these nights for me. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink when it's hot outside, and perfect for long nights hanging with friends watching games. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer. Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

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Don Lebatard! You don't remember the idea for a home run call?

I was probably like, "That kind of thing!" Something. Okay, no. The home run call was, "That kind of swing? That kind of thing!" Stugatz! Oh.

It's a good call.

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name. Correct. You know, all that jazz. You know, you don't gotta do that. You just have to do a generic call. Oh, that would be a great call. That kind of swing? That kind of thing.

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

The screen got cut off a little bit. I didn't hear the entire word.

That's it. It's just— that's, that's where it ended. There was— that's, that's it. Okay.

What's it worth? And he didn't say it in the way that you're supposed to.

Again, yet again, he made an effort though.

Is that controversial? Is that— yeah, of course he's making an effort. We're paying him for it. Of course he's making an effort. He tried, he forced Scranton in there, but he didn't say it the way that you got to say it.

It was close enough for me. Was it?

Yeah. It wasn't for me.

I heard an effort in Scranton that I did not hear in who won.

Yeah, it's controversial because again, and maybe that's on us, I don't think he knows to say Scranton. I don't think he knows. He just thinks that he's supposed to pick—

All right, we need to get on the phone with him before this game. In fact, I suggest you guys call him. So I suggest we try to get him on today. And I suggest we reprimand him for those two and try to get do-overs or refunds or something. Like, I, I don't know how this works.

So what do we give Vanetti for this last one, for the Scranton?

Well, he's saying— look, Cody decides here, but I don't— I think that's— that was terrible.

No, no, you're not going to be able to, like, in the middle of a losing streak, go to AA and play AA teams. Like, you're not going to Scranton.

I heard effort there. Okay, the max is $100, right? Yes. That's an $85 Scranton.

Oh dear God, that's how we're going to start doing this?

Okay, he said it, $85.

You're gonna put video to— you're gonna make this— this is gonna have sense in it by the end, right? It's gonna have— it's like he's gonna give $44.33. No, that's some Bitcoin.

There's no sense to this. No, none whatsoever.

I was just gearing up for another Greg Cody first down.

We just had something happen that has never happened before in the history of the show, which is Roy played the Kawhi Leonard laugh at the exact same time I was playing the loser game show sound. So one of us is wrong and you guys got to decide who's right because we played the same game. Who won? Who won? Greg or me?

I can't vote for myself.

Who won? You all did.

You all dang.

He's right about that.

That's another Greg Cody first down. Thank you, Billy. Uh, play the third of the Bonetti sounds. This is gonna become messy math. Play the third of the— this is gonna cost me so much.

As Torkel stand in.

Oh boy, just a sinker that just gets away up and in. It just looks extremely bad after you've hit 4 home runs.

As always, driver comfort is paramount, and the Tigers have 2 on with 1 out here in the 5th.

Flawlessly done.

Yeah, that's great. That's good. That's good.

Fabulous. I'm going to give him a bonus. I'm going to give him 110 for that. It was very, very nicely done.

Yes. All right. Again, ProjectMainStreet.org is where it is that you go, and they're going to be doing this all day. And can I get you guys to stop producing the angel and the demon long enough to tell me how easy it is to get the Rays-Tigers game for people? Because I think Bonetti is going to do this 25 times today, and I think it's going to make you want to watch Rays Tigers, you should have wanted to watch last night. Tigers 10-9. The, my beloved Rays are as good as the Yankees and they're not spending any money.

Better than the Yankees. MLB.tv, there's a, it's $30 a month for MLB.tv. If you purchase it, you can get a free month of ESPN Unlimited.

What do we break a window? Can't we figure out—

out of market games, that's the way you get it. Everything's expensive.

Can— is there not a— is there not a way? If you have Team Over—

comfort is paramount.

Oh, I'm not gonna last this show. This is just— it's too much.

As always, driver comfort is paramount.

This is a dream come true. The only thing better would be If Vin Scully came back from the dead and said, "Very good!" Who won? The only thing— Who won? Who won?

But you're not going to Scranton.

You don't sing "Who Won?" You don't sing it. You just say, "Who won?" You don't go, "Who won?" I mean, it's like two different phrases.

We'll get to AJ Brown and Myles Garrett in a second. Get the catchphrases ready. Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm always ready.

Are you gonna be okay? Because when we make you laugh, it's when you cough, and that's when the problematic breathing starts. And now this is a sprint.

It's a sprint.

So are you going to be okay?

Yeah, I'm ready.

You're sure you're ready?

I've never been readier.

Okay, because—

Hell, I'm ready. Go ahead.

When I was looking at you and you were listening to "driver comfort is paramount," the last 2 weeks you've been tickled like I have rarely seen. That is ground zero of your narcissism, to hear in a baseball game a phrase that you created that's ridiculous and has no place in the game.

As always, driver comfort is paramount.

In a classic baseball announcer voice.

I can't make him— it's going to be hard. You will make him laugh. I will bet I'll add another $1,000 to this that every time you hit him with that particular sound during the show, we should be on his face because it's going to be like tickling him.

As always, driver comfort is paramount.

He's never going to get tired of it. I'm promising you.

It's perfect.

Okay, let's see. Is it as good as this one?

Yandy Diaz's double. He slipped out there on the warning track in left field and then on this one coming in Hard to get the first out. Dragon kicking up all kinds of dust.

That is the very definition of catch as catch can.

Okay, I mean, it didn't make any sense, his use of it.

He worked it in flawlessly.

He did, but it was a little bit of a non sequitur.

I don't know, uh, you know, non sequitur. Yeah, it was a great catch in the outfield. They're describing this great catch catch. And he says that's the definition of catch as catch can.

Okay. You know what? I'm coming around.

All right. You didn't know what the play was because you were too busy in the narcissism of driver comforts. I know this human being.

Okay. Yes.

And this is as happy as he gets right here. Why? Because me maximum. It is all about me. We are tickling and delighting him.

It was well done in context. I take away my non sequitur.

No, let's, let's play it again and just understand that you're listening to him describe describing, or his partner is describing a great catch being made.

Yandy Diaz's double. He slipped out there on the warning track in left field and then on this one coming in hard to get the first out, dragging, kicking up all kinds of dust.

That is the very definition of catch as catch can.

Yeah, no, that's brilliant. It's optimum. $125.

Wow.

$125.

Yeah, I'm a big tipper. When it comes to—

well, wait a minute.

What?

We're tipping now?

Yeah, that's a big— that deserves a tip. A tip?

Your money?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. At Nellie Doogie's Diner. Just— I'm okay for charity. I am okay for charity with both tipping and bonuses. I'm also okay I'm okay with you getting a little reckless with my money. What I'm not okay with is Driver Comfort Is Paramount was the best, like, unquestionably will tickle you all show long. You gave it $10. You didn't love The Catch and you gave it $25. And by the time we end up in hour 2 or 3, you're gonna be giving $200 tips.

You never know. You never know.

The dirty demon of debate did not want to step on the catchphrase. He's never been left silent. The dirty demon of debate has never been speechless.

Well, like, we went 5 minutes about sing-songy and getting the right tone, and he just like no-sold his like key catchphrase. He said, "Well, you never know." What?

Because he didn't know to do it. He did that by accident. That's the accidental comedy that is Greg Koski. 40. He didn't do it because he didn't know he was saying it. Yes or no?

Maybe.

You never know.

I gave you— you never know.

He's trying really hard, and no matter what he does, I think it's a great effort.

Who's this false prophet?

One day I'll see him.

I don't think you know—

you're not an angel.

Get out of here.

You belong with the other guy.

Hey, we'll get to Miles Garrett and AJ Brown in a second.

I have the tabulation for Greg Cody. He gave $50 for who won. He gave $85 for Scranton, $110 for driver comfort is paramount, $125 for catch-as-catch-can. That's $370. Um, also $410 because of 10% fee for me.

So $410, Dan. Uh, so this is going to raise a lot of money, I hope, with the audience, uh, for what Boog is doing today. Projectmainstreet.org is where you go.. And it is a day-long effort. All of baseball is doing it and we are kicking it off because there is not yet any baseball being played today.

Now you rounded up on that 10% fee, right?

11% fee. We do a credit card processing fee also.

Don Lebatard. Is there Back in My Day?

There is actually.

What?

Were you not going to tell anyone? It's a Tuesday.

Wait a minute.

You guys, guys, it's a Tuesday. Stugatz.

Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day. Shit, I hope I have it.

Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adultery! That is one!

Yeah! Wait a minute.

Get back! I've been waiting for this one!

This is the Don Lebatard Show with his two gads.

Zaslo, you have worked with Boog for a long time, and he gave you your first start in this career. And when I tell you that this is the closest thing that Boog has to his heart, that, uh, this is the thing, uh, that he moves mountains to get the famous powerful people to help with something that generally not a whole lot of people can help with. And when you're talking about ALS, you are talking about. I don't know how many of you have gone through the gauntlet that is grief, uh, but this, this one, the, the watching of a friend die like this will change someone at their core, to watch the soul extinguished. And so people who are living with this day to day, caretakers for these people, they need money, they need help, because they need help doing all of the things as their body becomes a prison. So we're asking you to support, support, uh, projectmainstreet.org. But I just— before we get to Cody's catchphrases, I did want to ask Zazz just about his relationship with Boog, because I want people to understand the humanity behind this project.

Yeah, it's— I remember it was, it was a little more than 20 years ago. It was pretty early on when I started working with Boog where he had to take some time away because he had to go to his friend's funeral. And, you know, he, he was— this was his childhood friend, and they noticed that their friend was starting to, you know, behave weird, and he got diagnosed with ALS. And of course, it's a terrible, terrible way to see someone die. And so he created Project Main Street with his friends to honor their friend. And every, you know, for the first few years, I would go up and we'd go to the benefits, you know, playing a softball game. Mike Lowell was my double play infield teammate. And they raised a lot of money. Not for finding a cure for ALS. There is no cure. Uh, God willing, there will be one day. But it's to raise money to make people who are living with ALS be a little bit more comfortable. Because as you can imagine, it's incredibly expensive. You know, the chair and all of it. Uh, so there's some really great items here.

ProjectMainStreet.org. Uh, for instance, you could bid on tickets to a sold-out Noah Kahn concert at Wrigley Field. You can call play-by-play with Boog on Marquee Sports Network. Boog has become friends with Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam signed guitar, poster, all kinds of memorabilia. So you go to projectmainstreet.org and there's some really— or you could also bid at cubs.com/alsauction and there's some really incredible items and this is a really important cause.

Yeah. So someone we love, this is their life's work, okay? When I tell you what you will feel and see today is that Boog spends the entire year collecting collecting the power of baseball, all of it. Do this for me, do this for me, do this for me. These guys get asked for everything all the time, and everyone's always asking them for something. This is the day Boog goes all over baseball, every relationship he has ever made, and it's like, I need you to do this for charity, I need you to do this for charity. And this is his biggest day, and, uh, I don't know that the day gets more attention anywhere than it does today with baseball. So help us, help Boog, uh, with projectmainstreet.org. We'll be giving you more information as the show goes on. But let's do your catchphrases here, and we will get to AJ Brown and Miles Garrett.

All right, the catchphrase countdown. Number 60: I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. 59: Where's my click-click? 58: Hey, Butterfinger! 57: Punt! 56: Scranton! 55: I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 54: Georgia! Georgia! 53: I'm the kind of guy that— 52: Ball on the jack! 51: Hey hey, we're the Monkees, baby! 50: Thank you, 49, I love 'em like a pet. 48, who made it a salad? 47, we're rolling now, huh? 46, your brain beating me. 45, let's go States. 44, driver comfort is paramount. 43, dummy up, say bop. 42, catch as catch can. 41, doesn't make it right. 40, so on and so forth. 39, very good. 38, the Little League theory. 37, nice hat, asshole. 36, 36. The others, they all learn from me. 35. Don't go showering to try to please me. 34. Look at that jerk. 33. It's like a packing house in here. 32. What'd you learn? 31. Hee-haw. 3. Ba-dap. 30. I'm not gonna take a quiz. 29. Sassafras. 28. Would we break a window? 27. Hello. 26. Who won? 25. Trailers for sale or rent. 24. You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 3 words, we are the Lobos.

22, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. 21, Rappi Cack. 20, another crisis solved. 19, nice chatting with ya. And now, number 18.

Hold on, this is a new one. Hold on. I think based on just the comedy and music of that, that I want to put a Moneyball price of— for charity, I'm gonna get you guys to help me with how much this should be for— if either of these two princes of broadcasting sneaks in, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. I don't think they can do it, and I'm asking you, what should I pay? Is that the money ball?

Like, it's the white whale.

Yeah, no, I told Boog, if he works that in, I'll give $1,000.

All right, well, okay, what can we get our audience to pledge here if, if either one of them can work in some— and but there have to be— we put— got to put rules on it, like It's got to be worked in totally nonsensically. Like, it's got to be comedically well done.

Yeah, I'm going to break down 1990s AFC East.

Look out my window.

Yeah. Oh, I've been waiting for this one.

We are now in the top 20. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody.

With.

With. Is where all of these break. All of the exclusive. The exclusive. Well, it's not an exclusive home, but the exclusive home of the first place you hear these catchphrases. Is always The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody.

Yeah, thank you.

And so we are now at number 19. I think this has been such a successful joke that this should have been sponsored and someone should be sponsoring the top 10. Like, I really think that this has been something that is hard to do, a joke that works for months, and we're not even in the top 10 yet. And he might add others.

Yeah, it could grow. There's a rumor. Yeah, it could become a top 70.

Our sources— Out of my control. Our sources reporting—

sources are reporting speculation.

It's totally in your control.

Not really. Literally. No, it's a tsunami, you know, it's headed to shore.

As always, driver comfort is paramount.

Nice hat, asshole. Yeah, now I dare a broadcast.

So that one, that one, that one is not possible, right? That, that one, no, that's a $10,000 possible. That's okay, that's $100,000. Like Like, what? To get— so you're saying that how much would I have to get to pay to make it worth to Bonetti or Boog to say "nice hat asshole" on the broadcast?

That's the SEC fine.

Well, they're not subject to that, but they are subject to their own punishment. That's not something that goes over the air on a Major League Baseball broadcast. Maybe "a-hole"?

We'll take it. Yes.

Half credit.

Let it be known. We will take a-hole.

No, but what should the Moneyball be?

What, what? I think Bernie Parmley. I think you got that right. That's gonna be tough.

Yeah, that— it's— it would be unbelievable.

I mean, don't go Shower and Sung. Like, don't go—

you can—

there, look, I'd like to listen to the whole list again just to see what you guys would vote as the most impossible done, done correctly, because you got to get them to sing it too, because you saw how unsatisfying Scranton and Who Won were. Because they've got to be done correctly or you dishonor them.

I love the cadence of "You're gonna go to Buffalo" with Bernie Parmley and that voice, but it is so nonsensical for any broadcast, even an NFL one, to work that in in 2026 that I think we have to give whoever executes this some grace.

It really would be just as difficult to get it into an NFL broadcast.

Am I wearing you out? Should we go to the bullpen and have Roy find other times you've read these catchphrases so that we don't kill you by the game show today?

No, I prefer to do them live.

Okay, so you want to do it? Alright, so you got it.

Even if Fig Spiroditis would like to give it a try.

I got a game.

You're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley and the Jags.

When he is done with this, we're all gonna write down one of these. Your Moneyball. Choose your Moneyballs here. I want to see if we've got more that are the same than are different.

You're gonna go to Buffalo with Mo Alleycox.

All right, ready? Yes. Number 60: I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. 59: Where's my click-click? 58: Hey Butterfinger! 57: Punt. 56: Scranton! 55: I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 54: Georgia, Georgia! 53: I'm the kind of guy that— 52: Ballin' the Jack. 51: Hey hey, we're the Monkees, baby! 50: Thank you, Billy. 49: I love him like a Pet. 48. Who made it a salad? 47. We're rolling now, huh? 46. You're brain-beatin' me. 45. Let's go, States! 44. Driver comfort is paramount. 43. Dummy up. Say bop. 42. Catch as catch can. 41. Doesn't make it right. 40. So on and so forth. 39. Very good! 38. The Little League theory. 37. Nice hat, asshole. 36. The others, they all learn from me. 35. Don't go showerin' to try to please me. 34. Look at that jerk. 33. It's like a packing house in here. 32. What'd you learn? 31. Hee-haw. 3. Ba-day-up. 30. I'm not gonna take a quiz. 29. Sassafras. 28. Would we break a window? 27. Hello. 26. Who won? 25. Trailers for sale or rent. 24. You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 23, 3 words, we are the Lobos.

22, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. 21, rappy cac. 20, another crisis solved. 19, nice chatting with ya.

Thank you for doing that, old friend. And I say this sincerely as someone who heard your son yesterday talking about the Greg Cody Olympics that are coming up, and he will not allow you to run 40-yard dash because you're doing it against Uncle Dick.

But I will.

Yes. Well, so I, I would like at some point here to play an hour of Greg Cody just read— just reading those so that you guys can see how much worse the hello and who won get at the end because of how tired he is and because he can't keep his stamina up. And if, if, if we were— if he were to do 6:40 today when they start Raise Tiger Tigers. You live broadcasting opposite that, you just doing your catchphrases for an hour. By the end of that, what you will sound like is broken.

Yeah, I will sound like me at the end of a 40-yard dash against my brother.

All right. I want to go around the room here. Tony, what's your Moneyball here? The impossible shot, the one that would be worth $2,000.

I'm going to lean to number 23, and that's 3 words.

We are the Lobos. I love that.

Okay, let's find out which would make him happiest because that should be the money ball. So, Jeremy, what would you vote for here among the best? The money ball?

It's definitely "You're Gonna Go to Buffalo" with Bernie Parmley.

I think that has a good chance. Mike, that's yours as well?

Cosign.

Okay, Roy, do you have one here?

Hey hey, where the monkeys, baby?

I'm with you on this. Really? Because you've got to sing that and get them in trouble. Like, you get the Beatles, they're litigious.

It's like, well, those are the Monkees.

Hey, hey, they're the Monkees.

Yeah, the Monkees.

Yeah, yeah, the Monkees.

Davy Jones.

That's a pretty bad mistake.

Davy Jones and the boys. It's like the worst mistaken show history.

Construction company guys.

The Beatles are litigious. The judge would be so confused if the Beatles were suing over that.

Hey, no, we're the Monkees, baby.

What's the fine on that? It's a bad mistake.

Ah, just $5, man. Fine. Yeah, it's been a long year. Hollywood changed.

I got you covered. 2 bucks.

You're up. Rider strike. That's the tip. Pandemic. Plane in the sky pandemic. Construction company now.

Hard hat boy. Hard hat boy.

I like that.

Let's do this. Dan's running a construction company right now and there isn't a worse person in human history to be heading one up.

I, I, there are people running the construction company that would not say that I'm running the construction company. My wife's father was a very big and good general contractor in town, and he left an estate.

Very good.

It is a very good estate, yes, but it has a business, and I don't know anything about construction.

And what?

That's crazy.

Wow.

And so what's happening daily to me is a little confusing because Mike likes to joke. Okay, look, I heard, I heard yesterday in the meeting Jeremy called the delicate flower, and then I, and I thought to myself, because you guys said this this morning, there's no one less qualified to be doing anything with a construction company than you, Dan. And I'm just staring at Jeremy and I'm like, they think I'm worse at this than Jeremy would be?

Think about how bad that is for you.

Can you get me one of them no-show jobs?

Better get Billy Corbin on that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How does the foreman look at you when you're like trying to force Stephen Colbert into the conversation?

That was not meant for air.

The Colbert part?

What is your Moneyball, Zed?

Who make-a the salad?

Oh, wow.

I, I believe I'm reeling right now, not from the construction company. From the mistake of confusing the Beatles and the Monkees. That— I have— I've been disoriented since then of, of how tragic a mistake that is because my mind's not right. Fabulous.