Transcript of The Big Suey: The Love Guru (feat. Domonique Foxworth) New

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Pitchou a Liar. This episode of the Dan Leventard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

The Love Guru is in position. I know that the person in our screen here who's not the love guru thinks he's the love guru, but there's only one love guru around here, and it's Greg Cody. It sure as shit isn't Desmond Howard, who's joining us now. For those of you who do not know, the person that is otherwise known as Dominic Foxworth, he has a friendship with Chris Long, but one of Chris Long's producers thought that Dominic Foxworth was Desmond Howard for some reason on Super Bowl Radio Row. I don't know why that was. Do you?

I would have been able to explain it much more easily if it wasn't for the fact that Nate is Black, and he thought I was desperate to Howard. So that threw me off. I acknowledge that Cody is probably the funiest person to have as a love guru. But when I came down to host both times, or I've come down to many a times to host In Place For You, Dan, I brought on a sex expert to teach my guys what they're doing right and wrong. So I'm not even saying that I should be here, but I mean, no disrespect, but I mean, great Cody.

I've been told by sources that the reason that you were confused as Desmond Howard by one of Chris Long's producers is because that Chris Long producer was on a 100 milligram Mike Tyson gummy.

That's the word. It's a co-host. It's not a producer. I'm the only person who has a producer/co-host. The only person, it's the idea that I originated, is that you use your producers as your co-host. Nate is not a producer. He's a co-host. I mean, 10 of 10. My ass up. Like 20 is crazy. A hundred?

A hundo? That's insane. That's pretty strong. Let's hold on a second with Desmond Howard. We'll get his opinions on Malik Willis in a second. But we have to... This long-anticipated Love Guru segment is here. What production elements does it have before we get love advice here from the Love Guru? It has both music and questions from the audience, right?

If you want to- Hey, that's sexy. Hold up. Yeah.

We all took a good start, Grant.

All right, so now we toss Dan to the Love Guru. Are you ready for the first question?

Love Guru, please grab that microphone carefully. You placed it strategically in a place that's suggested. All right, let's go ahead and play the question from the audience for the Love Guru.

Hey, what's up? It's Darien calling from a bat phone. I know you've been married for 100,000 years. This is my seventh anniversary. How do you keep it spicy, Greg?

You know what? I do something a little bit different. I may have invented this. During foreplay, when you're really beginning to get at it, throw in, pepper in a couple of random, intellectually stimulating facts. For example, this happened to me the other night. I said to my wife, all of us out of the blue, we're grooving, we're doing the thing. And I said, did you know that a baby, a newborn baby giant panda is the size of a stick of butter when born? And my wife gives me this leering smile and goes, That's not all I know that's the size of a stick of butter. Baby.

Number four. Number five, actually. We're at Five Babies. He opened the segment. Let's have another question that makes Desmond Howard put his head in his hands again. Another question for the Love Guru, please.

Hey, Greg. Looking for some love advice here in Denver.

I've been I'm trying to flip some of your catchphrases into the bedroom with my girlfriend.

So far, they've been falling flat. Which ones do you recommend to set the mood as well as to accentuate when the moment arrives?

Okay, easy question. There's a start and a finish. The Clari One call to get everything going is, of course, baby. You make that call throughout the house. The ears perk up, the ears perk up, and then it begins. When it's all over, Okay? When it's all over, what you do is at the moment of climax, maybe wait a couple of seconds. At the moment of climax, Hey, that's what I'm talking about. That's it. What a bow on that package.

That's what I'm talking about.

We've only got seven more. We'll go to Dominic here Before we go back to the Love Guru, we all have to gather ourselves. It's gotten steamy in here. Before we get to your Super Bowl meanderings, do you have any opinions on Malik Willis and the idea that Chris Sims, we just heard him say, Malik Willis has superstar potential and is somebody who could be in a conversation with Jordan Love in a few years?

I think that's a fun thing to say right now. I guess I've been a little bit hesitant to go all in on the Malik Willis thing because it's a spot start situation, but I think it's right. The situation is right. Everything will work out. How dare you put me in this position? This is the worst position possible. I'm listening to myself thinking, I can't wait till we get back to the Love Doctor.

Okay, let's go back to the Love Doctor now, then before we get to Desmond Howard's Super Bowl tale. Hold on.

So he walks in the house and yells, Baby.

Yeah, it's a call throughout the jungle.

And her lead is in another room like, Yey.

That's right. It is the king of the jungle arriving home and then just setting a shout echoing throughout the wilderness, Baby, and then ears perk up and love comes running. Let's go to another question here for the Love Guru.

This is Saint and Phoenix.

Please don't judge me before I just started. I'm a lover. All right, Jocody, how should I handle my Valentine's weekend when I have three women that I love?

I'm sorry.

I just love women, so please don't judge me. Hey, don't apologize. I get it. A couple of things. Okay, if you are an accomplished liar or a professional juggler, you got I got a problem with three. But in the real world, here's what you got to do. Find a way to bring those three together. Maybe this is antithetical, but find a way to bring your three together. Get them in a room, let them meet, foment a relationship. Because you know what comes out of that? What we Frenchmen call a ménage à quatour. That's a ménage à trois plus 1.

Can I say something, please? Greg Cody, as the love coach, reminds me of my DB coach when I first got to Denver, where he tells you to do something that's damn near impossible and gives you no advice. It's like, Hey, we're going to cover one. There's Randy Moss. And I'm like, All right, which one we do? Find a way. Greg just said, Get them in the room and make it happen, baby. That's good coaching right there. I believe in you.

I'm an idea, man.

I mean, that's a terrible idea. I'm trying to think of worse advice. Get them killed. I mean, introduce them to each other is not the way to do that.

Oh, yeah, you have to.

Unless you're a juggler or a great accomplished Thank you.

I'm just mad because you ain't got the skills that Greg could pull that off back in his youth, but you can't pull it off.

Did you just hurt yourself bending over for your drink? Did I just hear you moan? Probably.

It could possibly be.

All right, we'll come back to the love- What are you sipping on?

They make bourbon now. It looks a lot like middle of life. It is a beautiful sip of bourbon. It's great.

We'll get back to the Love Guru in a second. What were the highlights, Dominic, of your Super Bowl week? All right, let's go back out.

Is he frozen?

That's fine. Let's go back out to the Love Guru. It's Desmond Power, Dan, remember. To the Love Guru. Let's go right back out to the Love Guru and a fourth question for the Love Guru.

Hey, Greg. Aaron from Lincoln, Nebraska, here. Just wondering, what do you do when your dogs always want to watch?

Aaron, that's a great question. It happens a lot. I know it happens with me and Jump Charlie. Here's what you do. You You lead the dog... We're smarter than animals, okay? You lead the dog into a far away room where you can't hear if he barks or whatever. It's too far away to... You lead him into a room. You give him a nice long-lasting chew toy. You close the door on the room before you get back to business. But the key is you make sure that on a TV in that room with the dog, there's a video playing of you and your partner making love.

I don't know about this advice. The dog would like that.

Instead of the real thing, you have a facsimile of the thing he wants to watch.

Dogs don't care, man. They want what they want. They see it. It's like when a dog perks his ears when another dog He's barking on the TV. Dogs never seem dumber than when they're doing that and when they're chasing their tail. But here the dog's in another room right now. He's watching the same thing he would watch in the bedroom, but remotely. Win-win.

Speaking of chasing tail, All right.

Desmond Howard is back with us now. And before you froze there, I was asking you about the highlights from your Super Bowl week.

Now you're muted. For me was... Go ahead. You were muted. I met somebody. Yeah, I met somebody, one of Charlie's friends, my producer/co-host Charlie. His friend is a world-renowned chugger. I should send you the video. You wouldn't even believe But he's so good at chugging beer, which is something I've never witnessed in person. I know that some people do it in college and stuff. I've never actually witnessed a chug in person, but he's so good at chugging that when I told him I was impressed because it was like he drank it almost as fast as you could pour a beer out. He was offended because he thinks that he could beat a beer being poured out and chugging because he creates a vacuum. It was the most impressive thing I'd ever seen, even though it's just chug a beer. If that was an Olympic event, gold medal.

Your thought is, though, that he is accurate when he says he could get it consumed faster than it can be poured out? That doesn't seem like it'd be possible.

I'll have Charlie send you the video, and you'll see it. It's nothing to discuss at this point. Once you see the video, you'll understand completely. My trip started out before the flight was when Nate thought I was Desmond Howard. Before that happened, I knew it was going to be a good trip because I walked through TSA, and you know how they have the little image shows you where on your body there is some activity they need to check out? I walked through it, the guy stops me, and he points at the screen, the square right over the most important part. And so then I was there stuck with the uncomfortable... And the guy said, Sorry, got to do it. And then normally, you present that portion of your body. I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there. He took the back of his hand, grazed me. I felt uncomfortable, but I knew that it was going to be a lot of funny things from the trip starting there. And then Nate was like, Hey, what up, Des? I hit him with the Heisman and got on a flight.

Did you feel vulnerable? You don't do frailty well. You're in front of security there and you're being wanded I didn't grab it.

I didn't tell the full story. I didn't tell the full story. I didn't get wanded or grabbed. I poked it out. You had to present it, right?

No, that's sexual harassment.

He poked it out. You can't I can poke it out.

I can bring charges against you for poking it out.

I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable because he seemed like... He was like, Oh, this sucks. I'm sorry. And I was like, Look, bro, got to do what you got to do. I want to fly safe. You want to do your job. You got to present it. I'm sorry.

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Don Levatard. Is there a Back in My Day?

There is, actually.

What? Were you not going to tell anyone? Wait a You guys. Guys, it's a Tuesday. It's a Tuesday.

Stugats.

Here's your guy, Greg Coty with Back in My Day. Shit, I can't help my head.

Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adultery.

We are back. We are waiting for this one. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I'll get back to the Love Guru in a second here. What was the most interesting stuff that you heard or saw around the halftime show? I was surprised, but shouldn't have been, I suppose, the reaction. I did have some friends say to me, though, that it was funny that everyone's complaining about not understanding the Spanish and then kid rock song is Bop with the bop, and those aren't English words. That's the alternate programming on what Kid Rock was doing also not intelligible.

The reaction to it was predictable, and I feel silly getting mad at the reaction because nobody actually is bothered by the halftime show. They're just looking for an opportunity to grand stand and to signal their virtue or the opposite of virtue, I guess, to anyone else. But I do have to admit that the first time I saw the halftime show, I didn't I didn't enjoy it as much as I think I should have. I watched it a couple of days later, and it was awesome. I realized the reason why was I missed the first couple of minutes. Because I was doing a live show after, I watched the Super Bowl in a conference room with Rex Ryan, Mike Greenberg, and some producers. The vibe in there wasn't right for Benito, and it didn't feel right. Then I watched it by myself in my basement with some good speakers. That shit slapped.

That's really what had happened? It was environmental? You're with Rex Ryan watching it. You're with Mike Greenberg, and you're like, This is not as Hispanic as it could be, my immediate environment. And so the culture wasn't able to reach you?

It was in a conference room in Los Angeles with bright lights, shitty speakers, and 60-year-old Whites. It was not- Dominique, I just said the same thing.

I had the same experience. I was around too many Old Whites for the first time I watched it.

Then I watched it by myself, and I was like, Oh. And I also missed the sugarcane part at the beginning. I walked in because we were prepping for our show. I walked in around the Lady Gaga time to a room that was dead, where everyone's looking at the screen looking silly and looking at their phones. And I was like, Man, this halftime show is weird. Then I watched it at home by myself. It started with the sugar cane, told the whole story, went through all the representation. They had the guy, the gay body roll in the middle. I was like, Yeah, represent for everyone. I had to throw that in. I had the virtue signal to you guys. I'm an ally. And also the music was slamming. It was incredible. I enjoyed it. I didn't have to understand the words.

Let me play for Dominic here, something that Joe Judge did at the Trinidad-Chamblas Arbitration Hearing. Things are getting really weird in the NCA. Trinidad-chamblas has now been given a court injunction that will grant him a sixth year of eligibility because it's more profitable for him to play college football, given what he just did in terms of stardom in college football, than it is for him to play pro football. He's gotten an injunction, and Joe Judge takes all of this as coach to a strange place.

But we would have to educate. This is always a tough conversation to have, and it's not going to be a popular thing, but this is the truth. We would have to educate significant others who may have been pregnant during the season or going to have a baby during the season. You'd have to educate them on, You have this baby in the middle of the season. That father has to play good football. It's a day-by-day production business. He has to be ready to perform and go out there and play.

When I say that is, you need to let him sleep.

He needs to be in another room, detached. You need to explain to the mother like, Hey, listen, he ain't waking up for a midnight feedings. After the season, he's full metal jacket.

He do whatever he want with him. He can change every diaper.

But in the season, he's got to have a different priority.

That judge perkt up and looked at side of Joe Judge's face like, Are you really saying this, that if you're getting pregnant, lady, you got to make sure that you're not interrupting the quarterback's sleep?

I got to be honest. There's a couple of things. I think I've already accurately signaled my virtue. I think there's a lot of things in this story about the future of the NCAA that is interesting in that the only reason why we live by these rules is because all the schools are willing to comply. If the schools decide that they could let guys play until they're 30 and have 10 years of eligibility, I'm not sure that the NCAA would win those court cases. That's one other thing. So make it clear, I'm an ally. However, when I heard this Joe Judge stuff, I was wondering what the question was that he was asked. And I was also thinking, Yeah, it's like when I had my first daughter, my wife was in law school, and I had torn my ACL. She wasn't going to get up with the baby. I had nothing to do but rehab. Isn't this the right situation? I know it doesn't sound good. You don't want to hear from Joe Judge, but we got an opportunity for the weeks of the regular season or the weeks of the football season The guy got to get some rest, right?

Am I wrong? Am I being like, well, taking us back to the '60s?

You can't give voice to this almost under any circumstances. Oh, no. But without context, though, some of the context here is that Chamblas has a sleep apnea problem, correct? That's where it's starting. He's not just volunteering this as an opinion without any context, correct?

Apparently, a part of Trinidad Chamblas' case was that in 2022, he had enlarged tonsils that made it difficult for him to sleep. And in turn, he couldn't participate in weight lifting programs and training for football and thus deserved a medical waiver to get to a sixth year. And this was in response to that of how important it is for players to get sleep, thus being able to participate in football. So this was an argument on behalf of Chamblas and his sleep apnea caused by tons of march. Maybe still don't say that, though. That's what I... That's be my stance.

Well, but Dominic's not wrong when he says, The quarterback's the economy of everything that we're doing in this state with college football, and he's got to be super important. I just don't think you have to summon the pregnant. It's just a losing argument to summon, Hey, pregnant lady, let the quarterback sleep. He's had a tough day in the film room.

Dan, the GM from Minnesota got fired, and on top of that, they threw, Hey, he took two weeks for paternity leave. That's part of what's going on here.

I mean, Quesie Doffo-Mensa. I think that if he had success, then people would have said they would have written a story about how he's a progressive dad. I don't think him going home paternity leave from the Vikings changed that at all. But I also feel like it's a partnership, right? When you have a child and there's some things that are more appropriate for some people to do what other people do. I think that having Joe Judge say it is terrible. And me, rallying a room full of men behind let the man sleep is probably a bad look also. But when I heard it and I saw that people were upset by it, I was like, I feel like if I have to go, like this morning, I took the kids to school because I was coming into the studio. It was appropriate for me to do so. There's sometimes when different parts of the responsibility fall on different person. If we're in a regular season, I got to sleep, right?

No? I feel like Mad Dog here. Remember, he was talking about playing with the appendix, and then whoever it is doesn't want to play, and whatever. You know how many times I'm woken up still by my baby who sleeps right next to me, and I come in to work every single day? Sometimes I sleep for two hours night, and I'm here every single day playing through it, Dan. Hero. I will say, if I'm being honest right now, this is one of the biggest tensions I have with my wife. It's just prioritizing my job too much of like, Oh, no. Our daughter's sick. I got to go do a show. You should stay. I've had this miss work recently because my daughter's sick because of that tension. I need to sometimes...

Hey, your job is important. Hold on. See this? I messed up. I messed up. Tony, Chris, you ain't treated dad chameless. Get your asses up and come talk sports with Dan. That's why I'm here. Dan, get your asses up and feed that damn baby. See, that's the problem. That's where I messed up. I didn't realize that what I was doing there. All right, now it makes sense. Now it makes sense why everyone was mad. It's because no one's thinking about themselves with her, or no one's thinking about Trinidad Chamlas when they're watching this, or thinking about the person who has an opportunity to change the trajectory of their family's lives through the way they're playing. They They're all thinking about themselves. Hold on a second.

Wait a second. I changed the trajectory of my family's life if I don't show up here because my wife stays at home and takes care of the baby. That's her job. Okay, back to the love guru.

You guys ruined it. You guys ruined it. I don't want to be on this side anymore.

You started it. Wait a minute. You decided. This is what you decided to do. I know. This is what you decided to do.

Then I heard it.

You decided to set up on the other side of the argument on, Hey, pregnant lady, let the man sleep. You started It's not anybody else's fault except Desmond's Howard. Let's get the love guru to save us. No, no, no, no, no, That's not my fault. That's the culture's fault. You know that. So don't bring that up again. You know what the deal is. Wake up with no babies. In a room full of people who cannot and will never be pregnant, Dominic Foxworth opted to side with Joe Judge on, Let the quarterback sleep. He's tired. He's had a tough day. He's had a tough day. And the coach specifically mentioned a pregnant woman. He volunteered the pregnant.

Dan, all This is completely mute point because Trinidad Chambers doesn't have a baby. He has sleep apnea. The baby is an example of something completely different. It's a straw man argument.

It's a moot point, not a mute point. Give me my Love Guru music, please.

Shut up, Dominic. Mute that point. Mute it.

The Love Guru is undulating, the hips are moving, and so too is the belly.

It is making those hearts jump. Let's ask the Love Guru another question.

What's the best way to spice up my relationship in the bedroom, Greg? How do my wife and I get time alone? When my kids bust in while I'm taking a shit?

Oh, my gosh. That's the eternal question of a good relationship is, how do we get time alone? Especially when the kids come along, the kids who are the fruit of your loins, who are the outcome of the ultimate sexual relationship. But here's the thing. I can only speak from experience. I know what worked for myself when Christopher and other son, Michael, were young was I would give them a low dose tranquilizer, perfectly safe, and to put them serenely to sleep for an hour or so. Wait a minute. Wait, what?

Wait a minute.

You're mad at me?

You're sedating.

What are you kidding? I'm kidding. You're drugging kids with a low level sedative? It's just a little tranquilizer humor. I'm kidding. You only do that under dire circumstances. But in all seriousness, here's what you do. You cultivate friends for one reason. For one reason. So that they have friends who are your kids' age, and then you can farm them out to other people's houses for playdates. That's the only reason to have friends who have your kids' age is for that. Work It's like a charm, and nobody knows it's happening. You get free babysitting for an hour or so, bam, they come back, you're done the deed. Life goes on.

It seems like terrible advice Other son. I mean, he started with sedating kids. I didn't even know if it was against their will or not. I don't know how he was applying the sedative. Is he? Yes. Thank you, Tony. That is the correct... He's still juggling over there.

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What do we got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

That's shocking. Stugatz.

Here's a A picture of Christopher when he was three years old.

Right next to the condom?

Yeah.

That's a subtle reminder.

Never forget.

This is the Don Lebatard show with the Stugatz.

Let's get another question for the Love Guru, please.

Hello, Greg. This is Tom Mucena from Climax, Kentucky. Speaking of Climax, while warming up for our nocturnal meanderings, Mrs. Mucena enjoys when I sing her favorite song, Aky Breky Heart by Mr. Billy Ray-Syrus. Do you ever sing any luscious melodies to Mrs. Cote before entering the throes of passion? I will hang up and eagerly listen.

Okay, I don't know what to make of that. Yes, of course I do. The original singing sports writer has got to do his oral thing. Here's what happens. Okay, anybody can sing the trite romantic song. Okay, the key is, and this is a big turn on, the key is you do something unexpected. My go-to is, Shot to the heart, and you're to blame, darling, you give love a bad name. That's just as it's happening, right? It puts everybody in the mood, right? But here's the key. Here's the key. When I'm singing that, I'm wearing nothing but a black leather vest and a Jon Bon Jovi wig. Try it. Guaranteed. You know it.

That doesn't seem like it would- Baby.

Baby.

Just the vest.

And the wig. And the wig.

Don't forget the wig.

Yeah, picture it at your own peril.

It's dangling.

All right, I need to gather myself here before we get into the last batch of questions because I'm scared of where it is this descent is headed. Before you came on with us, Dominic, we were talking about just the problem that basketball finds itself that a couple of days after the football season, now everyone's fixing basketball the way that they used to fix baseball as soon as the football season ended and pitchers and catchers reported. I wasn't totally prepared for it. I'm legitimately confused on how it is you fix a problem where all of these teams are just throwing uniforms out there. The players aren't players you recognize. There are fewer and fewer star players playing. The amount of games being lost to injury and sitting is at a wholly ridiculous level.

It's been a slow decline, and I think we all want to point to our one pet issue for how it's made basketball worse. For me, that's tanking. I've always hated tanking and believe that you shouldn't have to make rules to encourage people to be competitive. But it's that combined with you need to get 65 games to get into voting for MVP and first-team All-MBA. It's players who are trying to find ways to skirt the rules and foul bait. It's like load management. It's all these little things. They throw an in-season tournament in there in the playing game to try to address it. And it's just all these little issues that chip away at what I think used to be a game that was a lot more fun to watch. And now, play-offs is still incredible, but it just feels like just a bureaucratic thicket of nonsense now when I think about the NBA. And it wasn't that long ago that regular seasons were really exciting and there was a team or a player who we wanted to follow, and it was really their story and a reason to tune in. It doesn't feel like that nearly as much.

And it all stems back to money, too, where it's eight teams getting the play-offs from both sides, and then you have 82 games. There's just so many different areas. So when we think about fixing it, it's fruitful for the offseason because there's so many things that need fixing. And it's just like a slow deterioration as a result of a ton of really bad decisions.

How do you feel about the draft? Because one of the One of the things that people are suggesting fixes some of this is just eliminate the draft so that you will no longer have teams losing on purpose. I do find interesting. You must find this part interesting, right? All of these teams are losing on purpose so that they can improve their draft value because in a salary cap sport, that's a place where you can gain some advantages with draft value. In the NFL, all you got to do is hire minorities. They'll give you the draft pick, but they don't want to do that. Over here, they don't mind losing and incurring fines in order to get a better draft position. In the NFL, Hey, all you got to do is hire some minority assistant coaches, and we'll give you some draft pics. And they're like, That's a bridge too far.

Yeah. I think that abolishing the draft I would love that, but it's an unrealistic thing. It's anti free market. It's a lot of things that are wrong with it, but it's something that I think is very much ingrained in the culture of sports. I also think the salary cap is something that's a lot less ingrained. And I think a eliminating the salary cap would offer another way to approach building a team. I think we haven't really seen this draft tanking thing be super successful in football. I think you could point to the Thunder and some other teams in basketball that have had some success as a result of some really down years. But I think it's unrealistic as much as I would love to eliminate the draft. I think it's unrealistic to hope that that would happen that way. But I also like the idea of having an option to build your team a different way. If you're If you are a small market team, you have to live through the draft, that's fine. But if you are a big market team, you want to go well over whatever the cap is, that also works.

But they found all these ways, including the second apron, all these ways to try to impose rules that make it so there's only one, or it feels like there's only one avenue to success. And we saw in baseball, the rise of analytics was a result of guys finding other ways to win. Get creative. Don't just suck and think that eventually you're going to get rewarded and win the lottery.

Let's go out to the Love Guru again. Thank you. The music is good. You selected the music well. The Guru? Less well, we selected. But he is undulating again. Let's hear what the next question is from one of the callers.

Hey, Greg, Joe from Illinois. What's the clitoris and how do I find it?

Oh, no.

Yes. Okay, where's my clit-clit? Okay. The first How do you do? Okay, this is a very important question. We're talking about the hypersensitive neurovascular organ with more than 8,000 nerve endings. Okay, it's important to find it. Now, you can consult Google steps to find it, but here's what I recommend. Okay, a friend of mine once, an Australian man, told me that to fully live life and live love, you have to head south and go down under. And that's what I recommend for you. Baby.

I mean, that's just useless. It's just fundamentally-I'm an ideal man.

I'm putting you on the road, Dan. I'm not driving you there. I'm putting you on the right road.

Somebody get Chris a bonus, man. This man is enduring. This is embarrassing for me.

Where's my-It's just not good advice.

I don't know what I expected from this.

Down Under.

Was that you doing Men at Work?

Yes, it was. Thank you. Very nice. Very good.

Who won?

All right, he's just ripping now. He's out of control. I think he's gotten into the drink. He's now doing songs about Vegemite Sandwiches. Let's have another question, please.

Hey, this is Ryan in Reno. Every time my wife and I are getting hot and heavy and I say, Baby, it really seems to just I'm turning her off. I just wanted to see if there's something else I could do.

Ryan, that's a great question. Sometimes you got to lose the gimmickery. Sometimes you got to lose the catchphrases and be serious. Sometimes… How do I phrase this? Sometimes your partner wants sentimentality and seriousness. Try… Listen. Honey…

He's out of material.

No, honey, I love you so much. You are so sexy You make me feel like the most lucky man in the world. All right. And you know it.

All right, that's enough.

When you finish with and you know it, it drives the point home.

You had nothing.

You had Biden a little bit there with the listen.

It drives the point home.

Biden in there, and you're just out of material. Get back in here. Scranton. Okay.

I can't remember the last time I was that nervous. That silence between the question and when Greg started talking. I can't remember the last time I was that nervous. I was scared. Coming off of the last segment where he had a song I'm definitely going to clip and use on my show. I didn't know where it was going to go. That was amazing. All right, Chris.

Get him back in here. This segment-We had one more. All right, go ahead and play Heehaw 3 out of nowhere.

Victor calling in from mobile. Basically, my wife and I have gotten a little stale in our marriage. So one night, I was just browsing the personals in the local newspaper and come to find out. I found someone planning to meet up with her. As I'm planning to meet up with her, I come to find out it's actually my wife who also posted an ad. So it seems like we have a situation going on. So my question to you is, do steroid tainted guys like Clemens and Bonds deserve to be in the Hall of Fame? Thanks.

Now you're talking my language. Absolutely, they deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. My wife and I discuss this all the time during sex.

Can I say something, please? I believe that when you give financial advice, you have to give a disclaimer that this is not financial advice. I feel like in this segment, you guys might get sued for ending some marriages. We need a disclaimer put out before this starts. This is not actual advice. This is just a guy rambling with some liquor in his hand. We to do that.

Where's my glit glit? There's my clit-clit.

Good segment.

All right, you can go back in now. Good job. I love that.

Can we get one woman to call this show? How is it that you send out an international APB where you give out a telephone number for love advice, and all we get is a bunch of men calling, one of whom just gave us the plot to the song Piña Colada. Yeah, I noticed that. Then ended it with a steroid question. Do you like making love at me? Dominic, stay there. I've got more questions for you, and we're out of time, unfortunately, because of the amount of time the Love Guru took there. Just stay there for a second. The Dominic Foxworth show featuring Charlie is worth your time.

I got a surprise for you. I got a surprise for you. All right. It's coming up later. A little surprise for you.

That's not a good surprise. Hey, Levy. You know what? Just let them go. No more Dominic Foxworth. We're done with Desmond Howard for the day.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never PP on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.