Transcript of Hour 1: Jai Alaights (feat. Ian Lara) New

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

If you're not aware of where Mike's irrationally hostile and rabid fury about the heat comes from, it's not merely what's happening with the heat. It's also that the Celtics and Nicks are good. When the Nicks are good, it makes for loud Latin people. While I usually like loud Latin people, loud Latin Nicks fans make it hard.

How do we have so many of these guys?

Yeah. Ian Lada is a comedian here. You can catch his hour special, The New One, Material Boy on YouTube, and you can get tickets and available dates at ianladaive. Com. Look at him smirking and smiling because he knows- Is this an underrepresented base that you're going for? The Nicks fan base, just because we got him and Sam Morrow.

Dominican Knicks guys. You got Mero, you got this guy. What's going on here?

Well, I like funny people and energetic people, and I like people who are excited about their sports teams. When is the last time, Ian, and thank you for joining us, that you love the Knicks team this way?

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. And honestly, the last few years have been good. I feel like we've advanced a little bit further every year. So I'm thinking this is the year. And we just added Alvarado, and I don't know if you saw the game he had yesterday, but the Latin loud fans are just going to multiply.

Yeah, 26 points he had. And you feel how about Karl Anthony Towns? What's your relationship with him? Because he's going to get some grande por gusto if he disappears in the playoffs.

I like Anthony Karl Anthony Towns is half Dominican, as am I. Legally, I'm not allowed to say anything negative about him. He played for a Dominican team. I also am a fan, aside from both coming, having the same parents, but parents coming from the same country. But I do like his game. I think I don't like it sometimes. I feel like when he doesn't get the ball, he tends to get a little out a little bit. But I like his game. I think last year in the playoff, he carried us a lot when Brunson was down.

What else do you put next to your irrational Nick's love in terms of passion? What else in your life lines up the way that does?

The Mets.

Yeah. So you've been suffering, right? You've been hurting for a while. Your most joyous because you're still a young man. Your most joyous experiences in sports are what?

Well, I'm a Giants fan also. I saw them win two Super Bowl's versus New England. I'll never forget that. One of them being the undefeated season that New England had. So that'll hold you over for a while. That'll hold you over for 20, 30 years.

It might, but I feel like you like basketball and baseball more. So you're choosing the Giants just because it feels good where it is you've had your sufferings over here for a while. Almost for as long as you've been alive, you've had some Mets and Knicks disappointments.

When you say it like that, it sounds bad when you point out that my entire life has been a disappointment. But if you look at it more positively, I have seen the Mets in the World Series twice. That's something. I never got to... I saw the Knicks in the finals when I was 10. That's something.

It is something. That's not up for dispute. It is something. You're denying that it's long-suffering fanhood. You're sitting here, you're saying, No, sports are fun, and I'm going to enjoy my teams. I'm not to come out here and wimper about my team's being bad. They give me hope. They give me something to be excited about. How did you feel about the halftime show? Surely you have opinions there. The reaction, I don't know why I was surprised by this. I really don't. It feels naive. Borderline feels stupid in the America I live in to be surprised that people would react to Spanish that way. But I've just been around Spanish so long in Miami that I feel like I'm numb to the idea that Spanish would be weird to people, that singing in Spanish on a halftime show would be unacceptable to people.

I mean, I thought it was great. I saw Bad Bunny. I went to his concert in Puerto Rico. It was amazing. I think he's a great artist. It's funny that it's controversial when the Super Bowl picks the biggest artist on the planet to perform at the halftime show. That's considered a controversy. I think that's pretty silly, but I thought it's still halftime. I did not know that the halftime show at the Super was such a groundbreaking political event that we had to get. I just thought it was good music. I have friends who are also Latina who saw it. I had friends who were crying because of the representation and how cool it meant to see their flag being represented in that way. I thought it was great. Ian?

Am I canceled? People had to endure the rap last year. They didn't understand. Now you're going to make the rap a different language entirely? It's too much. It's too much.

It's fine. Look, we'll get cold play next year. Everyone will forget about it.

Do Maroon 5 again?

Yeah, everyone will forget about it.

Your first special was called Romantic Comedy. How do you do Valentine's Day?

Yeah, I mean, I'm a comic, so it's tough because I work on all the holidays. I work. I saw a meme yesterday about some guys are like, Babe, I got to work at night on Valentine's Day to get out of it. But I literally... And it's Saturday night. I I have six shows on Saturday night, so I got to get a redo date on the Valentine's Day.

Six shows?

Too many. Too many shows.

What do you mean six shows?

Too many shows.

Are you insinuating that I overbooked myself on Valentine's Day?

Are you too many shows? Are you doing a matinée? What are you doing? A breakfast show?

How are you doing six shows? What's up, Denny's?

No, because I'm here in New York, so it's not our headlining shows. It's more showcase. It's just 6, 20 minutes spots. It's not like I'm doing six hours.

Not like rounds.

So you stink at Valentine's Day?

No, no. If the 14 falls on a Tuesday, I'll kill it.

Okay, but it doesn't. So you're just working on Valentine's Day. Do you have any advice for broke people on Valentine's Day? Do you have different advice? Well, you must have different advice for rich people on Valentine's Day.

My advice is the same across all pay grades. If you have the opportunity to work at night, take it. I mean, they're looking for shifts, and you can get it. Normally, your partner would understand if you get them a nice gift after.

You guys should know back there that Ian made an observation that a whole lot of people make when they land in Miami and just end up at the local Whole Foods where it's like, holy shit, I've never seen this many beautiful people in one place in my life, which seems odd. He made this observation on adulthood, his podcast, but you're from New York. So what is happening I understand that happening, and I agree with you. I understand why and how it happens, but I'm more used to it happening for people from Idaho than from New York.

I feel like New York is a lot more gritty. I remember the last time I played Miami, I was at the Miami Improv, and we were sitting in the green room just watching the couples. We were watching the people walk in, and it was couples. It was men and women together. And it looked like just supermodels just coming into my show. That's not exactly the demographic that I bring out when I'm in Just say, We got that shit over here, Ian.

That's what we do over here.

You for sure, too. It's almost unrealistic.

Per square foot. It is superfired.

You said the spot, then, Whole Foods. You know what you're doing over there. You know what you're doing. You're even trader, Joe. You see this As soon as you walk out the gate at the airport, you're like, This is like Instagram.

It's like you're in the live version of Instagram. Everybody looks like they're wearing a filter.

We said too much. Refrain del día is, Valar's wondering why I going to Whole Foods so much. Refran del Día. This is where shopping is a pleasure. Refran del dia is something that we say- Say you LaVal, just cover in our tracks. It goes without saying that I love my wife. I'm happier that I've ever been. It definitely doesn't go without saying.

Just say it.

The only you can hear me. We're going to play Refrand del Día with Ian, who has to be confused. That's my inner monolog, Ian. Just ignore my inner monolog as I've learned to do recently. Let's do Refrand del Día with Ian, please..

We do a thing called Refrend del Día, which I give a Hispanic or usually Cuban dicho, and then I get the translation of it, literally, and then we talk back and forth. But what I wanted to do is a little bit of a remix to that. Okay? So what I want to do is, you're probably Dominican. I want to bring you something that is Dominican, but also something else. And I want you to choose between the two. You ready? I'm going to give you an example. All right. Rum, Dominican rum or Puerto Rican rum? Dominican rum. What's your favorite? Brugale. Come on, talk to me. Okay, you That's a national rum.

Come on. I got it.

Come on. Okay. Who does Salami belong to, Dominicans or Italians? I think it belongs to Italians.

I'm trying to be fair. I think it belongs to Italians. But? But I think Dominican has perfected it.

And why is that?

I don't know. When you go, I am notoriously known. I've smuggled in Salamis in my luggage when I flied in the Dominican Republic, and you're not allowed to. I remember walking into customs like, I hope they don't go because this is going to look weird why I have three different salamis in my luggage.

Especially the X-ray when they see the shape and the size of the salami, you're like, Yo. Put it on the.

One time, I thought I was I thought I was getting stopped, but the dude just knew my comedy. I was like, Dodged that one.

Okay, so you were almost wandering around an imprisoned area. Somebody asking you, What are you in for? I smuggled salami.

That's right. I just got back. I I just got back from DR, like two days ago.

All right, put it on the poll at Levitard's show. Have you ever smuggled salami? And also did Italians perhaps start salami, but then Dominicans perfected it?

It's the fried salami, Dan. That's why. Yeah, that's right. It's a breakfast meat. They perfected it. I know this. My grandfather married a Dominican, so I had the best of both worlds. It was made for breakfast. All right. There you go. Dembo or reguetón?

I'm going to go. I got to go Dembo. I got to go Dembo. If not, I'm going to hear it. But I love both of them. I love Reggaeton also.

Where are you going to hear it? What's going to happen?

The Dominicans, when they see this, they're going to come at me.

Dembo is basically the national music of the DR. Come on, man. We got to take Dan down to the DR. Even I know that.

I'm just saying they...

I mean, you can't argue- How can you argue against Reggaeton.

How can you argue against Reggaeton? What he's doing there is I believe that he's telling a lie on behalf of his people when he believes something different.

And that's okay, Dan. That's okay. You can do that.

We can take Val to Casa de Campo.

Last one, and this is probably the biggest one. Oh, my God. The most important one. Who does hooka belong to? Dominicans or Arabs?

No, Arabs. That's not even how it belongs to Eric.

What?

It belongs to them.

You can't go to Dykeman. You can't go to Dykeman. Don't show your face in Dykeman. No one will argue that.

You want to hear something funny? I just got back from the Dominican Republic, and they actually have opened up a bunch of Arab hookabars in the Dominican Republic. Public.

I'm going to suck the fun out of this, the music. Like a hook, of course. Yes, and all the joy that we're getting out of this by just playing for Ian, since he's from New York, some sound from Boomer Esiason talking about the Winter Olympics. I tried. I just want to get Ian's thoughts on this Boomer Esiason sound. You sure about this? But I was sitting there watching the freestyle skating by our ice skating team, fear skating team, that won the gold medal.

Are they happy to represent America?

Yeah, they seem to be happy to represent America.

Not everybody is, but everybody should pipe down and just do their sport and play for our country and respect the flag and respect everything that's going on.

Ian, your thoughts?

I was watching some of that. I was watching a lot of the Olympians who... I haven't seen anyone say anything that's been super offensive, but I thought the most American thing was that you were allowed to disagree with the country and the government, and that was okay. I thought that was the most American thing. I don't know. I think it's weird that now we have to just accept and agree with everyone. If you disagree, I think you're allowed to be like, Hey, I don't agree with this part.

You're happy?

Ian, lauralaralive. Com. You're happy now. If you want his show and tickets. We were having fun. People were dancing. It's as if I came on to Bad Bunny's halftime show in the middle of it while Lady Gaga was dancing and just held up a fist of Hispanic...

She was not dancing, let's be honest. That was no bachata, there was no merenga, there was no nothing. That was stiff lips.

All right. Did you have any... Why was Lady Gaga there? Did you have any theories on why Lady Gaga was in the middle of that?

He got 100% short. Also because she was singing Bruno Mars' song, who is, I think, Puerto Rican.

He certainly can pass.

That was just strange. I guess he might have been busy, but I loved Lady God. I love that he gave him two minutes of English.

He did. He gave Ricky Martin 15 seconds, though. Ricky Martin should want a little more time than 15 seconds, I feel like. No? He's not bigger than that?

I thought it was cool. I love the song that he sang. That's one of Bad Bunny's song off the last album. I thought it was cool to have Ricky Martin. I thought it was a cool show. I don't know. Anyone who watched it, even if you didn't understand, some of my friends who don't understand Spanish, they was like, It looked fun, which is a very Latino thing.

I'm surprised he played Hawaii because that's not usually one of the bangers on the album. That's like very deep track.

I know. It's not, but I think it's one of the deepest songs on the album.

For sure. That or Turita. Yeah.

Ianlaralive. Com. Thank you, Ian. Appreciate your maiden voyage with the show. Thank you, sir.

Dan, I appreciate you having me. Been a fan for a long time.

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

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Dan Levatard. What is the worst part of the life? Stugatz.

The worst part of the life of what? This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I wanted to give you guys here some sound and some video on something that is bringing a Streaking into the Modern Age. During the Super Bowl telecast, you guys saw or may have seen that Mike Tariko and Chris Collinsworth, because we've gotten very good, at not giving the Streakers the attention they want on the national broadcast where they have rules against televising the Streaker and therefore rewarding the behavior. But the problem is with social media these days, you don't actually need the platform of the 100 million people to be watching you because there are so many other cameras. Now, I've often said in talking about all of this that the Streaker idea might seem like a good idea to somebody who just craves attention that way. It ceases to become a good idea once the lawyer fees and the prison stuff starts happening and you're spending substantive time in jail and you're a security risk at this event. It doesn't end up being worth it unless you've got some of those meta glasses on and now you can televise your own experience. I haven't seen this before where we get the vantage point and the sound and the audio of what it is to be a streaker during the Super Bowl when you're We're navigating traffic.

Let's see that video, please.

I got this. I got this. Yeah. Let's go. Come on. Come on. Come on. You guys got me. You guys got me.

I'm right here.

You guys got me. You guys got me. How am I going to get up? Get him up. Get him up.

Get him up. Get him up. The thing that I want to do when we replay this, first of all, they did a good job of throwing a decoy out there. There was some chum thrown in the water, a fake streaker. That guy doesn't get any of the glory, doesn't get any of the attention or the giggling joy that this guy gets. But the freeze frame for the audio audience where you hear something that sounds like distorted fear, that's when a uniformed Patriots player is now in the picture and part of the chase- Kyle Williams, who, by the way, runs like a 4-2. No, but it's so good. The recognition in his voice and the fear in his heart that you hear come into his throat when his camera on his head spots, Oh, no, there's a player now chasing me in uniform.

The Kyle Williams part that's not caught by the metaglasses, but was caught by other people in the sands. It was so funny. The Streaker falls down on his own volition when he sees Kyle Williams approaching. Kyle Williams still walks up to him and touches him while he's down out of instinct.

Let's just play all that again so that people can see the planning of this. But the funniest part is when you hear in the Streaker's throat, Oh, no, there's a player, and it's not even one of the big ones.

I got this. I got this.

He I'm not kidding, you guys. When I say the angle of the referee-type uniform security in front of him when they're in front of him and he jukes them, feels like something out of a video game. It feels like something that you would spot in the- He's down.

About the seven-yard line. That's exactly what I thought it would sound like at the end of one of those. I was like, All right, you got me.

You got me. I'm down. Don't roughhouse. I'm sure those cuffs you put on me will be put on me gently because that's it. I'm down. I've sacrificed myself. Are you really a streaker if you're wearing pants? Don't I need to be calling you?

You got to commit to the bit.

Something else. Don't I need to be called?

It'd be an underwear to be a streaker, at least.

Put it on the poll at Lebitard show, Are you a streaker if you're wearing pants? And then the next question I have on that is, What do I call you, if not a Streaker? You're not just an intruder. How do I properly identify what this person did? I can't do it. A traspasser? A traspasser?

Pinch invader is what they go with in Europe. You got to just go Streaker, I think.

Now that Roy is bringing up traspasser, I meant to bring up something with you guys. I don't know if you guys have seen the Netflix documentary, My Secret Mall Apartment, where in I haven't gotten to that one yet. In Rhode Island, you had a bunch of artists living in a mall for four years, living in a mall where they would sneak into the mall. They had an apartment, and they lived there for four years, and they explain it under the idea of these are artists who are renegades. In the name of art, they were doing an experiment, but I just called them free-loading traspassers.

When When you say apartment, do you mean just a hole in the wall? They put a cardboard box down with a pillow?

They found a space in a mall that was ungoverned. It is actually interesting. They built an apartment there. They took an assortment of things from the outside, bought an assortment of things, smuggled them in, and for years had an apartment that worked, had electricity, and they were living there. They were living there rent-free for several years in a mall It was actually interesting. Seemed uncomfortable. Seemed like it'd be cold, physically cold. Obviously, it's not a great apartment, but they had the space to live there, and they were living there rent-free for years, plural. As an experiment, it seemed interesting. It just didn't seem like something that... I've given you all the interest that you guys are going to have on that. I don't think you're going to go now seek out that.

I think I got what it is.

It seems like you have enough information, but they were law-breaking traspassers, not just merely doing it for the love of art.

Play Boomer Esiason again.

I thought that was a good thing to do with Ian, actually.

Pipe down. You're on a roll, though, with him doing the Spanish thing.

I know. We were literally dancing. My timing was... I threw down the number one, you shook it off. The- Pipe down. The pipe down is so good. It's different than shut up and dribble. It's different than shut up and ski.

He's got the perfect opinions for named Boomer.

Yeah, he does. Pipe down.

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We're going to get that off the ground. World Rar 3, our group chat has a pretty good feeling about this one. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Are you guys watching the Winter Olympics?

I'm seeing clips. I'm more of a summer Olympics guy, but I'm into the hockey.

Why'd you whisper that?

Because these guys and girls, they train very hard, and this is the most important thing in the world to them. To me, I don't know what crawling is. I'm 40, and every four years, there's crawling on my TV. I'm like, I think I get the general notion. I couldn't explain the rules, but this is peaceful, but I can't really get up for it.

But I've got to assume that the Winter Olympic ratings are less in Miami than they are anywhere else, that we don't really have any connection points to many of the sports being played.

We have a bit of the Kendall Ice Arena a couple of times for a birthday party. We spend a couple of weeks in La Montaña.

You guys don't think that the for the Winter Olympics, that that gets less traction in Miami than it would anywhere else nationally in our country? I didn't grow up paying attention to the Winter Olympics. The only reason that Lake Placid was something that stuck is because we had to have The biggest upset in the history of sports happened for it to reach my living room.

Well, there are about four connection points, and they're all Florida Panthers, and three of them are playing right now in Canada.

Well, you guys were scared of the Canadian power play.

Yeah, I want to talk about the hockey because I do get up for the hockey, and NHL players are back in the Olympics, and this is a big deal. Last year, the Four Nations was such a sleeper event that ended up being a North American and global phenomenon. And those guys played for pride. It was amazing. And we were all excited because in just a year's time, they'd be playing for something real, not a made-up tournament. They'd be playing for Olympic gold. And the US kicks things off today for their Olympic journey against Latvia at three o'clock. The K'Chucks are on the same line with Jack Eichel. That's amazing. But obviously, your main rival here is Canada, and everybody wants to see those two teams match up, especially after their two stellar games-This power play. In the Four Nations. Let me show you a graphic here. This is the power play unit, the first power play unit for Canada. It's Sydney Crosby, Nathan McKinnon, Sam Reinhardt, who's a fourth-liner on this team, but for the power plays on the first line. Connor David, who I guess is occasionally manning the blue line alongside Kael McCart, the best defenseman in the league.

This is the nastiest thing I think I've ever seen. Yeah, they have a combined 572 power plate goals in their career. Who's the goat on that line? You could make the argument for everyone, maybe except Reino. So a lot of people would say, Connor McDavid is probably going to be the greatest hockey player of all time. Sydney Crosby, considered by many to be in that conversation. Nathan McKinnon is probably playing the best hockey out of all of them right now. Not even probably. Cale McCar is as good at his job that anyone is in sports at their job. You don't see blue liners the way that they make them like Kael McCart. I think right now, the argument is probably Nathan McKinnon, which is crazy. Goat me, Roy. Name a goat on that line. I know who he's not going to name. No, I have to name him. It's Sydney Crosby. He's 23rd all time in power play goals in his career. Third active, and power play points, 12th all time, second active. I hope the video team has There was this video that I stumbled on in my algo of Nathan McKinnon racing an Olympic speed skater.

Who do you think won that? Let's show the video real quick. Here's Nathan McKinnon against an Olympic-level speed skater in a sprint. There's like blue-lined, blue-line right here. What? Yeah, Nathan McKinnon torches. I think that's the current goat on that line. Yes, there is nothing more terrifying in that sport than Nathan McKinnon on the rush on a power play. You're dead to rights right now. He's faster than Olympic speed skaters.

I want to just play that again, though, so that people can see this speed skater has no idea how to start this race. And look at how slowly and goofy the speed skater starts the race in terms of running. That is not an athlete going against a hockey player like that. You can tell me that's a gold medalist, but that person is trying to swim through plasma.

They're going to get fired up with the Olympics with that guy doing stuff.

Look at how that guy starts running on the speed. I'm not saying it's easy. It looks like me out there. I'm not saying it's easy to run on skates, but that speed skater has trouble with his starts. That's a terrible start by that guy. He's trying to sprint, and he's slow at the start there.

I think the point here is that the pro hockey player is faster, blue-line to blue-line, than the Olympic speed skater.

That is the point, but the speed skater is trying to win the race with his hand the way Pablo and Amin did in that race against Billy. You're trying to break the finish line with your hand.

Kael Mccar could be the goat on that line. Kael Mccar is unbelievable. It's so interesting about this sport because you can make an argument that, like Connor McDavid is one of the greatest skaters of all time. Not just skaters in the NHL. The ability to skate on ice, he's one of the top 10 people that have ever been created. This Goat Conversation is presented by Franks Red Hot. Make every dish the greatest. Eat the goat.

That was seamless there. Roy had notes. Did you see that Roy had notes?

I can't believe he said Crosby. He has so much stuff written down right there. He said Crosby.

I can't believe you did that either. I thought your biases were going to grab you, that there was no way. You guys alleging that's the greatest power play that there has ever been, that there has never been a greater power play than that one. Never in any Olympics, no players have been put together on a line on a power play. Gretsky wasn't playing with four guys on some Olympic hockey team at some point that rivaled those four guys?

Well, he played with Lemu, but this is a five-man unit here. Do you know what it is to have Sam Reinhardt stick out like a sore thumb?

He doesn't quite belong in that class. There are some names there. Sam doesn't quite fit there. No matter how much we love him down here, he doesn't quite fit.

He was probably like, Really? Yeah, I'm here. You got me on the fourth line, but you want... Okay. Yeah, okay. When you ask a question like, Go front lines, or whatever it is that you guys are talking about, I don't have a great damage check, but I really wanted to bring out the fake damage and be like, Well, Dan, in 1982, there was an incredible front line of whatever. Where's Lewis? The talent in this league, globally and in this league, is just insane. Meanwhile, Well, it's the NBA that's expanding by two teams. The NHL, we've highlighted it before on the local hour when we're talking about how difficult it is to make the playoffs. You can add five teams and not lose really quality in this. There's so many good players, and that power play is just one example of it.

I want to do a bit of a palate cleanser here in terms of video here, and forgive me, audio audience. But when I abrupty switch subjects on video, I want to use the Jason Garrett spotting the camera thing that Tony loves so much. This makes Tony very happy, the fact that Jason Garrett isn't great at television, but what he is great at is finding the camera. He doesn't say interesting things.

He's gotten a lot better, by the way.

He's terrible at saying things.

Tony Dungy is terrible at saying things.

Jason Garrett looks terrible at saying things. But the palate cleanser is the tooth gleaming that way. Let's do it one more time where Jason Garrett turns to the camera, finds the camera, and then makes love to the camera. Yeah, always. I like that as a segue into other subjects when we're going into football. Let's start doing that around here. I did find interesting, okay? The way that Radio Row is changing, twice was enough, once was probably enough, but I went to it twice. Three times is definitely over.

I think you just made an edict that we have to do it every time. How about one more?

The way that Radio Row has changed to also take podcasts makes it so that news gets to us a little slower because there is a certain slowness in the traffic of podcast. This is Cam Hayward's podcast that Joey Porter is on. Diana Rusini is there making the face. You can see the face that something bad is about to come out of Joey Porter's mouth. He's talking about Ben Rothlisberger and Joey Porter. Now, this is days late, obviously. News travels very slowly from Radio Row in the new podcast industry that is Radio Row. But here's Joey Porter talking about champion teammate and quarterback Ben Rothlisberger. Seven definitely broke the brotherhood because- That's the one I don't understand as much. The shit that Seven do that did that we don't talk about- I know. It's crazy. Like, out of anybody should talk, he should never grab a microphone and really talk stiller business. Because if we talk in stiller business, this, his ass is foul of all foul. Like, the shit that he did is foul of all foul. He's not a good teammate. He won a Super Bowl with him, but the person, he's just not a good teammate.

Like, he knows that.

Anybody in the Steeler building knows that, but we protected him because I've only won one Super Bowl, and that was my quarterback.

So do I love my quarterback? Yeah. But is he a good person? No. Put it on the poll. Does Ben Rofflesberger know he's not a good person because Joey Porter is saying that Ben- Noted good person, Joey Porter. Well, look, I don't know if we're going to do a bad person off, but Ben Rofflesberger has done some foul of all foul things.

Yeah, no, he's got stuff. We're going to rank stuff. Bad guy.

Yeah, well, but Joey Porter is a funny- But I'm not even sure that's what he's talking about.

That's where my mind went. I think it is. But then he invokes the locker room.

He's not talking about that when he's saying bad teammate. He's not saying that's not what he's saying.

He was a bad guy at the beginning. I mean, I could be wrong, but I took that as he's talking about off the field. He's done some things we don't even talk about. Yeah, which is we talk about the other stuff with Ben Rothsberger. We have. It was a big story. And he was looking at Kam Hayward there. So I'm like, No, something must have happened in that locker room that you're protecting him. My mind went like, that was the obvious place. And he gave so many context clues. And I'm like, there's something else here that happened.

I do want to introduce, though, a new generation, okay, who may not know that Joey Porter Jr. Has a past that is super complicated if you're somebody who only knows Joey Porter Jr. Because he plays in the league now. When I think of Joey Porter senior, the person calling Ben Rothsperger a bad person, you have seen that Jeff Perlman has gotten very popular talking about players from the past and teaching young people things they didn't know about players from the past. Joey Porter Jr. Has a resume. He was shot in the butt. I think it was on his wedding day. I'm not totally sure. That's a terrible thing to have happen on your wedding day. But the story that I associate with Joey Porter because he had an assortment of bad stuff around him was being his neighbor because his neighbor had a miniature horse that was attacked and killed by Joey Porter's dogs. Joey Porter was somebody in that league. People were afraid of Joey Porter with good reason. Yeah, there's a list of four incidences here. A 2003 shooting incident, which is the one that you were referencing. He was shot in the leg and the buttocks outside a Denver nightclub in 2003.

But he was the victim, not the perpetrator of said crime. 2006, the dog incident, he was cited for harboring dangerous dogs, failure to confide, and license issues after his dogs escaped and killed a mini horse on a neighboring property. 2010, there was a DUI. In 2017, a bar altercation. I laughed. If that's a regular size horse, not funny. Miniature horse. I have to laugh. Mini horse, I'm like, Well, that is better.

Bye Lil Sebastian. I don't want any of this to sound as a defense of Ben Rock. It does. Sure feels like it. It's two people. Can I go write a song instead? Yes, please. Get out of here. Cool. Thank you. Thank you.

Which sponsor, Franks Red Hot? For a moment there, I thought we were going to get a picture-perfect toss to highlights.

Did you?

Yeah. We were so good, and then it just went away.

You wanted me to talk yet more about the cyclones?

More?

More about menu- More as if you talk about the champion cyclones at all? And the undertaker I talk about-Undertaker.

That's how little you talk about them. We own a team. This show owns a team.

Go ahead and throw it to the Jailites.

A championship team, and I'm going to go ahead and do that. Thank you for a conventional toss. Highalites, that's right. Spring season has started back up. We begin Highalites with Zuleika in the first match in our brand new Jam Arena. Spring season, look at this, both feet off the ground. He looks like the logo. Unbelievable catch and toss. He's doing SportsCenter right now. I love this. Incredible. Dan, what is your favorite Zuleika moment? Is it that one? I bet it is. Next, we shift over to the cyclones who in a Championship rematch match against the Devils yesterday, 3: 00 on YouTube and ESPN, the app. Manu, our brilliant backorder with a kill shot. Singles match. Look at this. This is why he's our captain. Look at the placement there. We expect a lot of points from that backcourt. Now that at Jam Arena, we have a much larger court, and it sounds different.

Did I see his ass crack?

He's got a weird back. Mike, you know I have one rule by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. We're in don't drink it at all. Damn, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never PP on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.