Transcript of The Big Suey: Statue Worthiness New

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Pitchou a Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings. The Crown is yours.

Well, I mean, we were having a good time talking about the Puck and everything, but Amine said too much hockey talk. This is off-putting. Can we move on? They won the gold medal. Can we talk about something else? So Amine wants to move on. Listen, I'll take this opportunity. I love your sweatshirt, Amine. It's Apollo Creed, the Count of Fisto, great American hero himself, right up there with Jack Hughes. I was once in downtown LA having a fancy dinner with my pal David Fini.

The Denny's right there on Figaroa?

Bestia.

Oh, I've been a bestia. That is a fancy dinner. That is a fancy dinner.

Italian, right?

Wow, yeah.

Some real high-end Italian. It is. We were seated there, and then we knew how grand this place was when we looked up at the bar and we saw one, Carl Weathers, a. K. A. Apollo, Creed, dressed exactly like you would want him to be dressed. Black suit, black shirt underneath, looking cool as balls.

I think they had like red, white, and blue top hat.

Oh, not like that. I guess, yeah, Now that you say that, yeah, that would have been an even cooler outfit. But either way, we were gentlemen, and so we sent him a drink at the bar. Can we send Mr. Creed a drink? The bartender accommodated our request, and a couple of minutes later, before we knew it, standing over our table was Creed himself, and he said, I just wanted to thank you, gentlemen, for the drink. We swooned, and then we talked for 10 minutes or so about our favorite moments.

How many words did you let him get in?

We did maybe 9% of the talking. Then he went back to the bar to his drink.

Did you ask about Hurricane Smith?

It didn't come up. Then we went Force 10 from Navarone did come up, though. He went back to the bar and finished that drink. Then an hour, hour and a half later, we went to pay our bill, and we noticed Creet added another drink to our tab, which I thought was the greatest move I'd ever seen. Yeah, of course you'd do that. What are we going to do? Hey, Carl, we got the one round, not two. What a nails move.

Was he still there when you guys were- He wasn't there. Okay, you should have gone up to him and said, Carl, you son of a bitch, and then just daff him really hard right there.

What's the matter?

Let's do you want to talk about? You don't want to talk about the high.

I want to talk more about Carl Weathers being basically Carl Weathers from Arrested Development. When you guys about to throw something out, Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on, baby. You put some bra up with that? You got a stew going.

Dave, you should have known better. This is the only way to distract Amine from doing any sports talk. He's mentioned Carl Weathers. He will follow that path. But I thought yesterday was an incredible sports. Wait a second.

Okay, we can talk about your sports in a while. We're on Cree for the next hour now. Thank you, Mike.

He's coming down the path with me.

Let's go. We've connected. Please, why get in the way of that? It's a love connection. Let the men connect. I'm sorry, Mike. Please continue.

Well, the NBA was really good. I know that might surprise you coming from me, but I'm into this Cleveland Cavs roster construction. When it comes to James Harden, I'm just this wild pendulum that is swinging from I can't tell if I like him or if I think he's overrated. I think I've said so many bad things about his career that in my mind, I underrated James Harden because I was into that OKC Cleveland game. Hold on, Mike. Even in defeat, I was impressed with the cast.

I was going to say, an Oklahoma City team that didn't have two of their top guys and then a bunch of people out, they still get beat pretty handily.

Dude, it's a Sunday matinée in OKC. It's hard to get up for that. I even know it's a defending chance, but that's a tough turnaround down for James Harden. And I think that he does- In Oklahoma City?

I think that- It's a tough turnaround for Oklahoma City?

No way. Old Home Week. On a Sunday morning?

Trust me. James Harden. James Harden, career-long, Connor McDavid-level loser in big spots, but Now that he's old, now he's good. Now we really got him going, right?

But I think the Cavs are an interesting team. And then I was into Sunday night basketball that they're really trying to make a big deal over at MBC. You had Celtics, Lakers, and they sweetened the pot by making this Pat Reilly day. They carried the halftime ceremony that was honoring Pat Reilly as he was given his statue outside of the Lakers arena. And I thought the NBA had a pretty good day. It was a shout out to their whole new broadcast partners. The day was chalk-full of good basketball and interesting matchups.

The NBC Sunday Night thing, this is a very specific thing. Nbc basically wants to own Sunday Night, and Their plan is from Sunday Night football, Sunday night Olympics, Sunday night basketball.

It's very clever. The way the schedule set up was optimal for them.

I think it's like 40 weeks out of the year, 40 Sundays are going to be Sunday night, NBC Sports. They basically laid stake to that. But why you mention statues? I want to talk about statues. I want to talk about statues that the Lakers put up. Everyone's like, Oh, my God, it's so amazing. Pat Reilly got a statue. By the way, Pat Reilly, incredible incredible figure in Lakers history, incredible figure in NBA history. Is he deserving of a statue? Yes. In the same way that Kareem is deserving of a statue, Magic is deserving of a statue, Kobe, all these guys. I'm going to be the one to say it. Lakers, you guys are cowards because you give out statues to everybody. Statues should be like one, maybe two. Maybe two. And that's it. You have make the hard decision who is statue worthy and who's not. You know what the Lakers have done? They just said, Oh, if your jersey is retired, you'll get a statue at some point.

Is it a Lakers call or an arena call? Because I've been outside that arena and Luke Robetai has a statue.

Yeah, Luke Robetail does have a statue.

It feels like they're trying to cultivate a Yankees in the Outfield style destination for fans to go and see all those statues.

Now, here's the problem. Yankees in the Outfield, that is very regal. It's very well-presented. It's organized. Crypto, it's basically like, just drop a... Here's what's the statues everywhere. Just don't want to, Hey, let's have that shack one hanging. There's no rhyme or reason. It is just dodging statues as you're trying to enter this building, and they're all just in the one entrance. There's a zillion entrances all around the building. They could have spread them out around like a circle, like century, guarding the arena. Nope, just throw them anywhere. Just throw them anywhere. I'll buy the check, Herne, you get a statue, too. Hey, Oscar De La Hoya, you get a statue, too.

It's crazy. I do agree. Oscar De La Hoya and Luke Robita and Wayne O'Gretsky. Wayne O'Gretszky in LA? Very strange. Ultimately, I mean, wins in another country with a bunch of cups, then goes and plays for other American teams, why they would build a statue.

Like a Joe Montana statue in Kansas City.

Yeah, right.

It just doesn't make sense. The statue thing is out of control. It's so gimmicky because the statue is supposed to mean... Remember, What was the first real statue that was Michael Jordan in front of the United Center? Like, Oh, man, this guy's the greatest player ever. Then the Rockets came out with a Hakeem Olaja on plaque because he doesn't believe in statues. I was like, Oh, that's cool right there. Even the Celtics, you say, oh, the Lakers have such a rich history. Celtics have a rich history. You know how many statues they got outside of their building? One, it's red Arback. The Bill Russell one ain't even outside their building. It's somewhere else in town.

Day Marino is a pretty sweet one.

That's fine. That's all right. Hey, If you got your one set, maybe two.

I think Shula has one on the other side. Yeah, Shula has one there.

That's fine. But when you get to just statues everywhere, it's ridiculous, man.

I think that's a cutoff for the Dolphins franchise. Those two.

No Tyreek Hill?

Is there one that crosses a line, though? So wait, which one's Amin, are you asserting don't belong? What's the worst statue out there in these United States?

That's not...

Oh, well- In terms of merit, not appearance, because we don't know what that is.

I'm bored sometimes. Yeah, well, we can have a different conversation Yeah, the quality of. The Tom braided one in Foxborough is an embarrassment. The head's too small. That's on purpose. When you got the figurine of the Star Wars people back in the day, the head on the hand solo originally was way too small for the rest of the figurine. Same thing happened to braided.

Yeah, I guess that's my point, Dave. That's not my place to say who doesn't deserve a statue. Well, that's exactly what you're doing. No, I'm saying I'm putting the onus on the team to say, Hey, we can't give a statue to everybody.

Mark Madson.

We've got two. We've got two statues we can put out. Who are the two? Who are the two? Who are your two, Lakers? The Lakers are cheating. I can't upset these guys. I can't upset those guys. Everyone's got to get a statue. That's the coward's way out.

Yeah, but you won't say the guy that doesn't deserve it.

It's not my team.

What's the cut off for the Lakers?

Two. You got two statues.

I mean, you can't just have a standard law that no matter how great your franchise is- Two statues? Versus the Miami Dolphins that you only get two. The Dolphins only have two people that are worthy of statues in the history of the franchise.

How many do the Lakers actually have?

The Lakers have to have Shaq.

You got to have Shaq, you got to have Kareem, and you got to have Pat. What about Wilt?

Magic. How about magic? And magic. Magic.

Wilt?

No, no Wilt. Maybe Jerry West.

They have a lot of legends. You must. If you're going to start now- West has the logo.

You guys don't need all these statues. He's the logo, but he doesn't need a statue.

Exactly right.

Just based off of a American lore, American history, the way we do things here in America, it's four for every franchise. You're Mount Rushmore of your franchise, each person gets a statue. I'll give you four.

You know what?

If we want to standardize this, all right.

I'll go with four. But they still got way more than four. They still got way more than four.

Yeah, I'm not disagreeing with you on the Lakers principle in particular, but that's a way to get franchises here moving forward to be able to stick to a standard. If we only have four, and it's not like you could take one away.

Yes, you can. You want them to be interchangeable. If you're like, Oh, my God. But this guy, using my example from early, this guy's got seven goals in the third period. How can we not honor him? All right, you got to tell me who's coming down. We're going to pull them down like when they pulled down Sadam statue in Iraq. That's how we're going to do it.

The universe is infinite, but the amount of soil available on the big blue marble is limited. And so the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Kent, Ohio, can only build out so much. At some point, we're You're going to have to retract some of those busts- There you go. And gold jackets. I submit for the millionth time that the first one to lose his gold jacket is Bob Greasey. Really? Bob Greasey has no business having a gold jacket. It's ridiculous that he has one.

What was Joe Namath?

Yeah, over Joe Namath. Joe Namath, who has the iconic victory of the Super Bowl era. Yes, over Bob Greasey, who threw four passes in a Super Bowl once.

Yeah, but they were undefeated.

Okay, then let's put Jim Plunket and Eli Manning and everybody else who's won a couple of Super Bowl's in there, too.

You are preaching to the choir when you say Eli Manning in the Hall of Fame, buddy.

That's fine by me. What would be the Jaguars four statues?

You don't have to go for.

So we leave some- Fred Taylor. Okay.

Tony Basselli.

Jimmy Smith. Basselli for sure.

There you go. You don't force them. Then we take them down when better legends emerge. This is what we're going to do.

You don't force them.

I'm with Chris. You know when you got a statue guy. You can't just say, I'm going to make him a statue because I got a spot. No, you got to save that thing. Wait a second. Something better might come along.

Dolphins would go Zanca would be the third one, certainly, right?

Jason Taylor.

Color me Well, if Jason Taylor gets it or Zack Thomas.

If we want to talk Panthers, is it just Barkoff right now?

Or Rhonda Getz? It's Chucky, too.

Chucky already got one?

The Beezer? No, we're not going to look into it. There's a reason why. A rat.

The industry's turned its back on Beezer. A giant rat. What I liked from the Pat Reilly thing is, I don't know how I feel, because then I feel like an old man for saying this. I dig where his head's at. Wear what you want on the sideline. You're a multimillionaire head coach and all of that. If you want to wear a sweatsuit, that's your choice. But if you want to look cool, go like Pat Reilly and wear a suit. Of course, I would do that. What would you wear, I mean?

Classism. Classist.

You're the head coach of the team.

We are all a team. There's no I in team.

Then wear the uniform like the baseball guys do.

No, that's ridiculous. We're going to wear these cool quarter zips and fitted pants and cool sneakers that are comfortable as opposed to some hard bottoms like I'm going on a funeral.

A quarter zip, that's the first time I've heard it described as cool.

The ones they have are cool.

Utilitarian, perhaps, but not cool. You could express, this is something the NFL should do, too. The NFL, like a decade or so ago, got in the way of doing it. A couple of coaches, Jack Del Rio, and I think it was Mike Nolan, if I remember correctly, wanted to wear... They wanted to wear suits, and the lead got in the way, and they said, no, they're not Reebok approved. And so they had to wear some weird- Hold on.

Could they wear a Reebok suit?

That's what ended up happening. Really?

Yeah. Does Jack Del Rio get a statue, by the way?

No. From a second to Coughlin franchise.

It's him chopping wood. Remember the chopping wood incident? That was a great chapter in pro football history. He had every win, I think it was, they would swing an ax in the locker room and he would keep, Got to keep chopping wood. And then the punter tried to do it and he almost cut his leg off.

It happens. It's a contact sport.

Didn't Urban Meyer kick the punter once, or was that the kicker?

Oh, in Jacksonville. Jacksonville, yeah. I think it was a kicker.

Was it Josh Scoby?

Scoby. It was Scoby. Come on, baby. Is Urban Meyer going to stat you?

Yeah. Yeah. He just had his spot blown up.

Again?

Well, no. Statute is more like it instead of statue, statute.

Taché gets it. He's got an old soul about him, right? The suit is the blazer that he's wearing. Is it the Blazer that he's wearing? Yeah, that's what it is. What's wrong with my Blazer? You can personalize it. It doesn't have to be the exact same. It doesn't have to be a gray flannel suit. It could be whatever you want. Doug Mo used to wear zany outfits, right?

The plaid, the crazy colors and all that. It You should look up Hubie Brown in the ABA. He had some crazy suits, too. Jack Ramsey. Jack Ramsey. Oh, Dr. Jack, for sure. The suit thing, I don't like it because... I mean, maybe I'm speaking from experience here, but because not all suits are created equally. If you looked at an NBA bench pre-pandemic, and you'd see people had very well-tailored suits, and then as you go further along, you see the guy is just like, whatever men's warehouse had on sale. It's just Who are the impoverished people on an NBA bench? The assistant coaches. See, this is why we needed to do this, right? Because people assume that everybody working on staff is living the life. And the reality is your head coach makes a ton of money. Your associate head coach, who's typically been a head coach somewhere else, he makes a bunch of money. And then that third seat down. These people are making regular-ass salaries If not less than regular- That's why they get to wear polos. Well, now that's why we all wear polos. Classism. We're out on class behavior. Well, you know- We're not going to pay them any better.

To make the point about how you can distinguish yourself from your peers, there was a guy named Bum Phillips, Wade Phillips, old man, Houston Oilers' head coach from way back. He used to go out onto the NFL grid iron in a 10-gallon hat.

His was 20.

Do you know when the Rams played the Patriots in the Super Bowl, whatever that was, 10 years, the Jared Goff Super Bowl, 13 to 3, I got in touch with Wade in advance and I said, Obviously, you and I both revere your old man. You should dress as bum on the sideline for that game. The league stepped in and said, You're not allowed to do it. So he dressed, he wore his old man's jacket and hat and all the rest of it on the team flight. And really, that's one of my great achievements.

How do you keep getting credentialed? The league must hate you. You're such a rabble-rouser.

That's a great idea. I made it better. What are you talking about?

No, I'm not saying the idea is bad. I'm just saying the NFL, very staunch, very staid, very stoic, a lot of S-T words there. Then here comes Dave Damosheck in this Circus of- That's a great idea.

I gave him. Right. I mean, they're curmudgeons and got in the way of it, largely, but it's still I think everybody celebrated it.

That's my point. The curmudgeon, how do they keep saying, Okay, credential request for this next Super Bowl, who we got here?

Curmudgeon's at the NCAA didn't like the idea of both USA and UCLA wearing their home jerseys against one another. So I got Pete Carroll and Rick Neuheisel on the phone at the same time on my old radio show, and I got them to agree to accept 15-yard penalties for delay a game so that they could go back to wearing their home jerseys against one another, and they continue to do so to this very day. But that's weird, right? Not weird. Great. Good looking. Distinctive.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold.

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

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Dan Levatard. I win in the margins. I'm like, You're money ball of sex? I'm basically Scott Hatterberg for walking. A lot of walks. Stugatz.

A lot of walks, but I'm on base.

When it comes to sex, I'm Scott Hatterberg. Other dudes, they can be Giambi.

You know your role you play?

I know my role.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

To jump back to a conversation we were having last hour, I saw somebody nominate sporting events in History that you want to say you were at. Where does Tyson Biting Holyfield in there? It's not Malice at the Palace, but it's a good one.

Do I get to catch the ear?

Yes.

That's one.

The one that people talk about the most as the signature celebrity event to that point was the first Ali Frazier.

Oh, yeah. The Frank Lucas fight.

If there's any fight- If he never would have wore that mink, Damoshek, he never would have got caught.

Why? Because they asked him, Who's that guy with the mink in front of- Am I cracking top 10 by saying, I was at the Copa America final in which they were fallen from the AC events.

Wow. That was there, right?

I had a ticket and couldn't scan it because it had been run down. They had destroyed it. They were just left. Anyone was walking in.

I was like, I have a ticket. What is the number one you've attended? I went to, I think, probably, objectively speaking, not for my routing interests, being at the Malcolm Butler pick was probably... I was at 28 to 3.

Were you at any sporting events that were infamous, not necessarily famous for how it played out on the field, because a great game is a great game, and that's a great moment. But chaos surrounding the game, like Malice at the Palace, the Tyson Biting the Year, the Copa America final, you have anything in that class?

I don't. Once when I was very young, I went to a Penguin's Edmonton Oilers game, and all the benches cleared. It was a bloody, legitimate mess. I remember the Oregon player playing Let There Be Peace on Earth over as these guys... I mean, it was protracted. It went on. People were crying. I remember as a little kid looking around, people were crying. It was deeply upsetting to people.

I like the Oregon player saying, I've got it. Mike, I was at Spurs heat game 1, 2014, where the AC went out. Does that count?

That's a good one. Yes. The Crancomus. And that was a great game.

Oh, I was at the lights out game. I guess that's the Infomus.

New Orleans? Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.

Mike?

Oh, a couple of Marigal. I think it has to be it.

Is that Vuvuzela?

Jeremy was doing Sideline for a heat fight this past weekend. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Scottie Pippen going after Myron Garner.

It was unbelievable. As a Sideline reporter, Jeremy, I was looking, you got to get in the mud there.

This is what's so That was in my corner where I'm normally sitting. But with about two minutes to go, I get up and I walk over to the other side because that's where the sideline interview is going to happen for postgame. Last couple of games I've done, they haven't won. I've stayed in the corner. It wasn't even close. But this game, it was obvious they were going to win. So I had just gotten up not 30 seconds before. I was standing right next to the grizzly's bench as I hear everyone losing their minds, and I turn and see Myron Garner headed to the ground because Scottie Pippen Jr. Has put his hands around his neck. And it was right after I had seen like, Oh, Myron Garner. Yeah, he knocked him down on that three. That wasn't cool. I'd seen the rebound. It was nuts. I've never seen a fracas of that level at the Heats Arena. Fracas?

I went to either Jose's last or second to last start before he passed away. Him and Kershaw, the duel between him and Kershaw. I was there behind home plate.

Just in hindsight. He did it already. He's just trying to get in this game. I don't really... That count? You guys tell me if I'm wrong.

You're talking about infamous games. That's a great game in history of a guy who died here. Do you care about Jose or no?

Of course I do. It doesn't sound like it.

.

This doesn't belong in this category, though.

What do you mean it doesn't belong in this category? It's a great game that gets forgotten.

You left the game and you're like, That was just a normal game.

No, I didn't because I was like, Wow, that was one of the greatest pitcher's tools I've ever seen.

All right, fine. You can be in the game. I'm sorry.

That's stupid. You know what I'm talking about?

Jeremy, the fight finally gives Myron Gardner something about him that's not... That's the guy that Karon Butler made apologize to Clay Thompson. I love Myron Gardner. Now, he's the guy that got in a fight with Scottie Pippin Jr. But the play that preceded it, that you glossed over, was a dirty play. Absolutely. Because here's a wild thing. The only way I could describe it is it looks like he set a back screen for a grizzly's guard who's going to dribble up court. There's no way, there's no reasoning, if we're shooting at this basket, for you to act like you're setting a pick into the back of a defender who's not even going in that direction.

Yeah. What happened on the play was there was a play down at the heat's end on the previous possession, where when Myron Garner and Scottie Pippen Jr. Were going up for a rebound, Pippen had grabbed him and thrown him to the ground on the rebound. And so Garner gets up After on the other end now on the grizzly's offensive side, Pippen shoots a three, and Garner running back at close to full speed to the other side of the court, instead of stopping short of Scottie Pippen Jr, run He comes right into the back of him, stops, quote, unquote, but gives him a little bit of a chicken wing and hits him and knocks him to the floor.

But his stance was of someone sitting a screen.

Yeah, as if- But you're on defense. Yes, as if he needed to set a screen on Scottie Pippin Jr. Who I guess would have been running back the other way if you want to make the argument that there was going to be paced the other direction. It wasn't. Myron Garner was upset. He made physical contact with Pippin. Pippin falls to the ground because you don't often get hit from your blind side in basketball.

And then my favorite part, Pippin's on the ground, and you could see he has that moment of just like, Let me compose myself. Then he looks at the ref, and the ref is like, Play on.

That was the problem, by the way. The ref's doing nothing about that hit or not calling a foul there is the reason why Scotty Pippen then decides, All right, time to take this into my own hands, literally.

Myron is a strong name, by the way. We need to bring it back.

Myron is always... Look, I'm an aficionado of something we call the 20CB. This is this era of television and movies that had the monoculture that was strong. There were certain themes in the 20CB, Dave, that were universal. One of them is the concept of someone named Myron Absolutely is a nerd. Myron is a guy who sounds like this. Myron's got glasses. Myron's a nerd.

Myron Cope on sports. What about Chester? I think we need to bring that one back as well.

I like Chester.

That's a cool name. Chester is a cool name. Speaking of fouls, though, in basketball. We're just moving off the names. I think that basketball's official method of punishment is a little underrated. I think it's pretty good. We celebrate the penalty box in hockey. It's probably the gold standard of proper shaming within the game that go sit in there and feel ashamed for a couple of minutes. I learned a new one, though, a new candidate for best proper shaming method. Biathlon in this thing. I know it's all hockey now with the- Biathlon is the one where you're skiing shooting guns at the same time.

The James Bond event.

Pretty much every... People say, What do you like better, summer or winter games? All the winter games are ones that came from things that you just have to do if you're in Scandinavia, right? To get around. Cross country skiing is like, Well, that's how we get from here to there, and now let's make it a sport. But also we have to hunt for what we eat, so now we'll involve the gunplay and all the rest of it.

I always get thrown off by some of these sports because I say to myself, How do you find out you're good at it? Basketball, you go out to the playground and people are, Oh, he's pretty good. Oh, this guy's tall.

Come over here.

Football, like, Oh, he's a big kid. Or, he's pretty fast. Whatever. Every sport, even baseball, you go out there, you're playing stickball, whatever. How do you find out, Man, I'm really nice at skiing and shooting things at the same time.

Well, I think that's a part of your day to day. You grow up and you're out there like, We don't have anything to eat tonight. Hey, Seth, let's go out and see if we can find something. Then you go out with your gun and your cross country skis, and maybe you bring back a moose.

You're talking about origins, though. I'm talking about 2026. How do these people figure out, Man, I'm really good at it. They weren't hunting.

I'm fascinated by exactly what you're getting at. I can go outside and miss the first thousand shots I take in basketball before one goes in like, Okay, I'm improving now. What's the equivalent of that with the ski jump? How many bones would you have to break before you're like, I can land now. I can land on my feet now and just keep on going. How do you ramp up to It's just, Oh. Just repeated wipeouts. But the biathlon, the penalty is they have something called a penalty loop. You have to take an extra lap if you miss a shot, which is just the greatest. That's right up there with the penalty box. Sorry, Tony. Go ahead.

No, I was going to say, I feel like the dirty part of these sports is they once had dreams to be the main people at the main sports, but then they realized, I'm not that good at these cross country skiing or whatever events. I got to do something else. I'm a good skier and like, All right, they got a thing that I can shoot a gun with. I'm like, All right, I think I could do that. The guy's there and he's like, Oh, yeah, this is pretty cool. So he dedicates his three years after they told him, You're not going to be part of the ski team to do some other thing.

Well, that's that. Then the other people I think of like that are the bobsled people.

I can't do anything. What can I do? I'm not even bobsled.

But bobsled recruits a lot of track athletes, the ones who weren't good enough to make it in the sprint.

If you're not steering it, it's just about being fast.

They were celebrating a guy on the US team, I mean, to your point, who was, I think, a Texas football player or something. Then they're like, I just, as a hobby, got into bobsledding in the last year or two. Don't tell that story if you're a bobsledder because it's an embarrassment to your sport. You shouldn't be able to decide to do it and then be doing it six months later.

It does undercut the whole sport.

Don't you remember Lolo Jones? Lolo Jones was this big deal and then She washed at all the events, and then she was like a jerk and people really didn't like her or whatever. Then she resurfeced on a Winter Olympic team as a bobsledder because, again, it's like, yes, this is a sport that I have zero experience at, that within a short amount of time, if I have certain tools, I can be an Olympian.

There was the long distance runner. I don't remember what specifically the event was, but in the summer games, two years ago, there was the woman who was like, Yeah, I'm a financial analyst. Then I decided to become a runner. Three months later, now I the gold medal. Isn't that a great story? No, it's an embarrassment. They didn't remove that sport from the Olympics. Clearly, it is not up to snuff. They should not be giving away a medal for somebody who decides to play that sport a couple of weeks ago. Don Levatard.

What is the worst part of the life?

Stugats. The worst part of the life of what?

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. Juju Put it on the poll. Should they be giving away a medal for a sport that you decided to play a few weeks ago?

Well, listen, we already covered this last week, Amine, but the bobsled people, we already... You understand? There's the two-man bobsled, the guy who drives it, and then the guy who pushes it. It works, and it goes fast, and then they're like, they can plate in, they cross the finish line, and then they give out the medals for it. Yes. There's no need for a four-man version of it. Of course, there is. Clearly, we We have exposed that you only need two people for this to work. Of course. We don't need the second and third guys except me, so they get medals.

You do need those two extra people because if it weren't for that four-man bobsled where two people don't have to do anything, then the Us jokers here, would have never been on a bobsled before. We got to ride the bobsled in the Olympic village in Salt Lake City because we got to sit in the seats where you don't have to do anything, which I guess is proving your point. I could be an Olympian, and I just don't know.

That's the silver lining. What are we doing with ourselves?

Silver? Sir, it's a gold lining.

We have four years. Winners run here. We have four years to get it together and become US looge or bobsletters. In the meantime, so you have the penalty box, you have the penalty loop. Basketball is a little underrated in my book. What's your favorite official shaming mechanism?

The red card is pretty good because it's pretty weird. It's pretty weird. We have this color-coded system. I'm going to present you with a card. You're going to have a big emotional reaction to it, and you're going to have to walk off the pitch dramatically.

The thing about the red card is there's a massive buildup to it. People say, Oh, it's just like a technical foul. The difference is in the NBA basketball, technical foul is immediate. It's like, boop.

You have the suspense of what color is it going to be?

Because it's this. It's like, first of all, the guy's all the way across the field, so the rest got to run over there. And then he slows.

He's looking in his pocket. He always slows down.

He always slows down before he gets there, and he's in the back. Where's this thing? And then he pulls out that little wallet where the card is, and then he's opening it up. And then it's like, Which one is it? Big reveal. And then he pulls it out, and then he doesn't just flash it to him. He's got to go, wow.

It's a middle finger.

And then after that, I don't know if they still do this. I know they used to do this. I got to write it down. What's your name again? Turn around. Okay.

You got the right number.

I like the bureaucracy of the red card.

It's a performative deal.

Absolutely.

But they don't get to keep it, though, right? They don't like, Here's your yellow card. Carry it with you the rest of the day.

They got a free side of a quiznode with it.

They should do that. That would be a nice little move. That would enhance the shame. They have to hold it. It's just like a nuisance. You're not allowed to touch the ball with your hands. You know the soccer rules, you don't get to use your hands on it. But right, you have to run around with that thing the rest of the game, right?

You got the ref like the Joker, just a bunch of calling cards that he leaves on the body.

Maybe every jersey has a slot in your chest. Oh, yeah. So now you're like, if you have a yellow card, you're running around with a yellow thing.

Scarlet ladder, right? Yeah.

Well, it's a yellow litter.

How do we feel about the... Does the umpire strike three fall into this, or are we talking more punishments?

No, I'm talking punishments. Because I love a little... Get at. The basketball, well, you get the equivalent of the yellow card in our football is obviously the yellow flag, which is thrown in your direction. Nfl, it's just...

No, but I like the flag when it's like... When something egregious has happened, the ref is like, Oh, no, and he just chalks it in the air like that.

Yeah, I like when they go for the belt like, No, I'm not going to throw that.

Just throw that up in the air. I do like... Roy was miming it to me. The NBA referee cool technical foul. Joey Crawford, you do this, Where he doesn't go with the full hand. The Little T. Just with the fingers. There's a little dismissiveness in that. Oh, you thought you could say that? No, you can't.

Technical foul. Yeah. If we have time, we can get into that this week. We have a long week ahead of us and baseball's upon us. We should figure out which, if you were going to the pen, if you're the skipper and you're going out to pull your pitcher, what's your move to the pen to let everybody in the ballpark know that you're going to the lefty? I think that baseball- You want us to just percolate on that idea and bring it back to you later on the week? Sure. It's a rich idea. We'll do ours on that. I agree. Tashay. I think that basketball is underrated, that you have to, foul. Now, you have to stay in there. Just stay in there, just stand there right in the middle of the floor, right on the side of the floor, while your victim just stands three, four feet away from you and just shoots for free. Just stay in there and stare at it. How does that make you feel?

Criminal? Not as criminal as the review. When you get a flagrant foul and they got to review it, because, again, it brings back from soccer, the buildup and the anticipation. What are they seeing on that screen? What did they see? I didn't Then you're trying to watch up on the big screen, and then you're looking at their body language. It's like, Are they going to see that? I didn't mean it, whatever. Then the ref comes and he adjusts the mic when if you're Billy Kennedy, you do a whole production. You're like, The offending player is Undercut the offensive player on a layup, which is deemed excessive and inappropriate contact. The player has been ejected for a flagrant two foul. Home team ball. He tells it like it's a story. If you're on the wrong end of that story, that story sucks. You're like, No, come on, Billy. What are you doing?

Some guys lead with the top-line information is, The information is the player's ejected, and here's why. This is a personal foul, and here's why. And then the detail. Don't lead it up. I'm not here for your storytelling, pal. What? Just let me know what's going on.

I like it. It's one of the best parts of an NBA A broadcast is seeing Bill Kennedy-Not if you're rooting for the team.

Not if you have a team involved in the game.

The anticipation? You don't like the anticipation of that?

What if your guy is the hero of the story? It turns out he didn't- Then it's good. Then that whole buildup gets to this crescendo, and you're like, Yeah.

Especially if the announcers have anticipated. So the play-by-play and the color guy are talking like, Oh, well, that's clearly going to be a flagrant foul on our player. He's likely to be ejected. I can't believe this is going to happen. And then Bill Kennedy tells you this whole long-winded story that ends with the punctuation mark of, Actually, your guy's still here.

He wants you to play the game. The review that feels like it should have been a part of a different century or something is that they look at a player's face to see if he's bleeding in hockey. Two minutes or five. We got to determine if they drew blood. Extra minutes. Like West McAuli. Four minutes. Then we all cheer. Yeah, our guy's bleeding. We get five-minute major.

So anyways, I think the Cavs are going to be a threat in the East. Yeah..

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