Transcript of Local Hour: Respect The Throne New

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Got to tell you, I'm a little bit worried about the hockey players who apparently were partying all night long last night. The regular season begins back in two days. Why are you all smiling and laughing at me?

Where's your hat?

It's a big-eye head, man. You okay?

Yo, when I sit on the throne, all right, this the throne, Dave Damoschek. This right here. You were in the throne yesterday. How did that feel?

I was. I was just going to remind you that apparently you missed the fact that the week started yesterday. No, I didn't miss it.

But a pleasure to see you. I was sick, all right? I didn't miss anything. I was sick with sickness. Still are. I've been in a house of disease the last few days, all right? I'm much better now. Thank you very much. You don't have to be worried about that. But when I sit in the throne, this is my look in the throne. I don't wear a hat in the throne. I don't have to.

You bring respect to the throne by not wearing the hat.

It's like when you go to a really nice restaurant. You wouldn't wear a hat in a really nice restaurant, right, Dave?

No, indeed. So the gravitas is what you're going for here.

This is my look when I'm on the throne, when I'm in the big chair. This is my look.

You wear your fanciest ratty hoodie.

Well, I didn't think about that. Thank you for pointing that part out, I mean. So this is my look. You all get used to it, all right? Probably my look the rest of this week. Anyway.

Are you No, I'm good.

I wouldn't do that, okay? You could hear I'm a little bit stuffy in my voice, but I would not come back if I was going to get an answer.

I don't like that when people act like they know exactly when and when they're not contagious. How do you know you're not contagious? No, I could tell.

I could look at somebody, I could tell.

You have a fever? Yeah. You have a fever or are you contagious?

No fever. Never even had a fever. Never had one. Not contagious. That can't be true. I didn't have a fever this weekend.

Oh, never this time. I thought you were saying you've never had.

Oh, you thought in my life, I've never had a fever before.

Cock of the walk, baby.

Established for the that Greg is lazy and late. Greg is not here yet.

When he sits down, pin him against somebody. Maybe Dave this time.

What's up, Borden? Yeah, we'll probably make fun of him when he sits down because he's going to complain about the traffic, even though there's never... I come from Broward also. There's never a good traffic day. What's the day you arrive? Oh, traffic was amazing today.

Some Fridays, it takes like 45 minutes, and that's a good day. But yes, you're right. It's an hour plus every day.

Allow me to defend the man who's not here. All Browards are not created equal. Where in Broward are you? Where in Broward is he?

I'm very West. I'm in the worst part of Broward.

He might be in the worst part.

He's West as well.

Yeah, he might be Wester than you.

It's a West off. He lives in the Everglades. I'm as far West as you can get. I'm in Cooper City.

The issue is that Zaz and I, who live similar to my dad, give time that if traffic is bad, we still get here before 9: 00. My dad just plays it, I'm going to leave at this time.

He refuses to adjust.

We've been in this building for five years.

Have we decided that Matthew Kachuk doesn't need to show up anytime soon to the Florida Panthers? It's all over with for the Panthers. No one wants them trying to make a run. It's a lost cause, right?

So this is what I'm worried about, Dave. The guys... First of all, was our crew at 11: 00 last night?

Some of us were.

Who was there last night?

I was there. Amin was there. A lot of people thought he was Cash Patel.

Get the hell out of here.

Ethan was there.

A lot of people complained about ICE. I said, Man, that's not me.

Okay, hold on a second. All right. Did anyone actually... Did you wear the outfit? Were they eyeing you down and they thought that you were Cash Patel?

Well, someone called me a fascist, and I didn't know if that was because of this show or maybe because of Cash Patel.

That could relate to anything. Yeah, you can talk about anything there. There may have been people who thought you were Cash Patel.

Absolutely. It didn't help that my eyes were crossed. But I told you guys, if I keep doing it on the show, it's going to stick like that.

My mom told me that. Yeah, that's what they say.

Side note quickly, Mike Ryan, just before we started the show, he and I were talking up close and we made eye contact, and I have to say, listen, a little sunshine in this world ain't a bad thing. Mike Ryan, you have very pretty eyes. Very pretty eyes. Wow. I was struck by it as we stood in the morning light. What did your eyes behold last night, though, at at 11? What struck you?

Well, you know what? This whole Team USA hockey thing is a bit complicated. I'm an ally. I put myself out there. I'm also wearing a Matthew Kuchuk jersey and a Team USA hat. I'd like to get into what later today is going to look like with the players going up to Washington, DC.

Oh, they're going today?

They're going to be present for the State of the Union. Yeah, right. Well, the- Patriots. The women have taken the opportunity to decline the invitation.

They said they were too busy, right? Their schedule.

Why, you think? Because they were made foules of in that viral video. I understand anyone that has drawn the line that even took a little bit of joy and had all the joy go away watching what this team has done with this moment. I think some of them, you could argue they're victims of. They've been props for a propaganda machine, no doubt. Unfortunately, many of them are willing participants and probably pushing that, too. It's a complicated thing, and I understand why people feel some type of way about it.

Can you wear sunglasses at the State of the Union? Because there's no chance these guys are going to be fresh and ready to go.

I want to go back for a second to something Amin said, all right? Because my mother also told me that if you cross your eyes, they could permanently stay that way. It's true. Your mother told you that also.

Can and stuff from parents, right? What mother has also said the same thing.

Ours is a little different. Ours is, if you do the cross and a bug flies by, then it'll get stuck.

Oh, it's a two-foot cross.

Really? Yeah. If you got your eyes crossed and all of a sudden a bug flies by, boom, it's stuck.

That'd be a hell of a coincidence. If you're doing the cross-set, I think at the same time that the bug comes. That's what I'm saying. What are some of the things that our mothers told us would happen if you do it? Will stick permanently.

Too close to the TV?

Oh, yes. That one's true.

I think close to the TV.

That one might be true. My mom said, If you pick your nose too much, your finger could get stuck.

You're what?

How many years did that work on you?

I was 32 years old when I- I was always afraid of...

Because one of the things that I was told was, if you're one of the kids that flip your eyelids inside out, that they would stay. I was afraid of that.

I don't like those kids. Those kids never grew up to be anything good.

I didn't like those kids either, and I was afraid that if I did it, my eyelid would stay. I got news for you. If my eyelid stayed inside out, that would have been a tough life.

Can't make eye contact with anyone.

Waiting 30 minutes after you eat to go in the pool.

Oh, yeah, that's That's a big one.

No, don't do it, Mike. Don't do it. Don't your eyes are going to stay there.

See, what did I tell you? They never amount to anything good.

It was pretty eyes.

It's gross, but also pretty, isn't it? I think we can all agree. What's up with this guy, dude? More than one of my children believed me for multiple years when I would do the thing of... I'd be like, See, look at one half of me. When you look at me from... I'm trying to get to the camera Look, this side is nice and thin, but when I turn around, look, I got a big belly.

That was a magic trick.

It came to a head when one of the kids said at school, My dad's belly on the one side is fat. Show them. I had to show other kids. I'm like, I've got the remedial child. Half of me is fat. I'm going to try that with my kid. See if it works. Good luck.

What did you see last night at 11: 00?

Well, this being my third hockey celebration. A little jaded. Don't have the same connection points. So not as fun as the Panthers celebrations. I will say, though, I got a little teary-eyed when the Pole dancer went up with Old Glory. That was a moment in time. I really felt joy from sea to shining sea.

Could Chuck put his medal on her?

No, he did not. They tried to avoid those photo ops when the players walk with the Olympic medals.

But you know- What time did they arrive?

They arrived at around 11: 00.

Yeah. I thought they were going to be ridiculously late. But apparently, they went to dinner and they came right after dinner.

That's what they do every time.

I like that. I didn't see any videos from the double-decker bus ride around Ocean Drive. But I imagine they were all standing at attention by south of Fifth waiting for their opportunity to take a glance at Jake Sanderson.

When they're on that double-decker going around Ocean Drive, like Matthew Kachuk, I would imagine. He's got the microphone. He's like the emcee. He's standing in front. Because he's done this tour a couple of times already. He's showing everyone the landmarks, right?

If you didn't know, like me, if you were like me and you didn't watch any Olympic hockey, you would have thought Matthew Kachuk was the best player. He was the captain. He was the guy making everything happen because he was the guy. He was the emcee. He had the mic, he had the cigar lit, he had the flag around him. He was making request, DJ request. He was giving speeches. They tried to get other guys to talk. Nobody really wanted to do it. Kachuk was the only guy who was really embracing that role.

It was like that for the Panthers celebration until Sam Reinhardt got the microphone and didn't shut up for two and a half hours. But yeah, it was an interesting celebration because I haven't had a championship celebration centered around the country. Instead of We are the champions every five songs, you'd have that mixed in, but you would have these American standards.

Have we We've never had of the red, white, and blue.

And Tobi Keef.

Oh, my God. Well, so we've never had this type of celebration in your lifetime, right?

No, certainly not for hockey.

Well, but not for any sport.

When USA basketball wins, you'll celebrate at the bar, but everyone's not like, Where are we going after this? Also, basketball celebrations are a little bit more exclusive. I think one of the cool things is, and I do think it's a testament, I mentioned this yesterday, of how the Florida Panthers have changed hockey culture down here. When New York gets snowed out, the hockey players on the bus are like, Let's go to 11, because those championship celebrations seem so fun. I thought it was cool that they were among the people, that it wasn't exclusive. It was more of an inclusive type of deal where people are reaching out, touching people, signing jerseys, and having fun with other Americans that we're happy to be there.

We bring other Americans into the locker room to celebrate with the team. What are you talking about? This is old news.

I told Mike yesterday that when they make the movie, the miracle movie about this team. There'll be a scene after they win and say, All right, guys, boys, let's go to New York or DC. It's like, This just in, massive snowstorm cripples the Northeast. It's like, Guys, what are we going to do? Matthew Kutchuck leans in and says, I know a place. And cut to 11. That's exactly how it went.

Yeah, but I'm also sure that there was some vibes. You ever tell your friends, Hey, you got to try this place. It's amazing. And you go in there and the place is totally empty. I imagine that's what it was like when the double-decker bus went around Ocean Drive, a bunch A bunch of Europeans confused outside of Mango. It was like, What is this? What are you doing? Is that Jake Oettinger?

Who are these people? And why is it so cold outside?

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold.

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

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Don Lebatard.

Our Panther Group chat, we're confident against the lightning. This is a different team. You're a Panther Group chat, though. No, I think... No, but dude, you're so wrong on that. We've been terrified of this team forever, and I think there's a different energy where the Panthers, they want the lightning. Stugatz.

I want T-shirts made for this Panther run. What be this Panther run? Our Panther Group chat, We're not afraid of the lightning. That's a tagline for World R-3. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I just realized that much as Kurt Russell got to play Herb Brooks, that we are sitting now with Amin in the future movie about the 2026 Olympic team, that you're going to get to play Cash Patel, given the big inspirational speech in the locker.

And And then that's a role that I will cross my eyes and let them cross forever for. To be in that movie?

Are you, though, think globally, act locally, root nationally or root locally? Do you feel like Matthew Kachuk, it feels like the Panthers are probably a little too far away, but it's plausible they could get themselves back into contention. Would you be raw, Panthers fans, if Kachuk was the medal and all the effort for the two weeks and then the celebrations? I need a couple of games to get right. I'm not going to dress for the next game.

They might all do that.

He is going to get a couple of games. I think there have already been teams that say- I think so, too. That players that have been playing for their countries are going to get a couple of games, Russ.

No to deal with that?

No.

Every game is so important for them down the stretch. I heard Dave Hyde say yesterday that based off some projections, they have to go 19 and 6, the final 25, to make the play-off.

Yes, they have to do something crazy to make the play-off.

And in order to do... One thing they would have to do is have Matthew Kachuk in the lineup, right? I mean, that significantly improves their chances. And if he doesn't dress... And obviously, I know we're talking about Miami-based hockey, but of course, my heart belongs on the banks of the Three Rivers, and that team is in contention for the playoffs as well, currently positioned. And now Cydney Crosby almost played in the gold medal game, but then at the last second, it just wasn't right. What happens if he's like, Yeah, I'm going to take the next two weeks off. My knee was almost good enough to play in a big game like the gold medal game, but not enough for these regular season games. I wonder what the reaction is. We'll ask you.

You're a Penguin fan. We're going to ask you.

I'm conflicted is the answer to that. I mean, I don't have a black and white answer for you. I'd be conflicted about it. I would love for Crosby to burnish his career, his legacy, and all the rest of it had he played, and they won the gold medal, and all the rest of it. But if it meant that, boy, going out there on that knee was rough, and now I need three weeks off, It rolls off my back as a soccer fan.

That's what happens when these guys go to play for their countries and they come back. Look, it doesn't have to be your country. I'm an Inter-Miami fan. Every time that Argentina has friendlies, I'm like, Well, there goes messy for two games.

I mean, who cares about Messi in this dumb American Soccer League? That's not comparable to something.

No, I'm saying, but I'm programmed that way to understand when players leave to represent their country, there's going to be a re-acclimation point. They're logging minutes over there. They're probably going to get ease back into the lineup. It's rare the occasion.

That's a culture that exists and has for many decades in soccer. That's different than American sports, big time, multi-millions of dollars annually, and all the rest of it. Zaz, what do you I think. Were you a high-end hockey player? Would you say, It's more important to me to represent the nation, and it will, in fact, Trump me in terms of deed and all the rest of it, and dressing for the big game, it's more important to me than dressing for an NHL game.

Well, as a fan, it's more important to me that he dresses for the Panthers, that he dresses for Team USA. That's me. Interesting. But as a player, I think the conversation is... It's that conversation where if it was the playoffs, I would be playing. That's what it is. And the gold medal game is the playoffs. And then he comes back and it's a regular season game. It's like, All right, I need a little bit of time here, but if this were the playoffs, I would play.

I'm sorry, did you not want to win the gold medal? I'm a little confused. We need Matthew Kachuk out there for the gold medal. He logged some minutes. He's played a lot of hockey over his career. I'm good with giving him two games to recover.

Yeah, it is what it is. We're selfish people, though.

It's not like it's a back-to-back, though. I know he's at 11 last night, but he's had what?

It'll be four days since the previous game.

Don't forget the State of the Union tonight.

The State of the Union. Well, you want to talk about that? I think you want to talk about that because I think it's more than a fair criticism, and I can understand why people check out on this team entirely because of it.

Can I ask a question? Forget for a second who the President is or how you feel what the President is or whatever. Would you want to go to the State of the Union? It's boring.

Why would I want to go? It's so boring. When I'm at home, I could turn it off. Oh, my God. You're there.

I have never said the State of the Union is on. Let me lock in.

This It never. It promises to be memorable.

No, I'll give it a chance. I'll watch 10, 15 minutes when I'm at home. Have you grabbed my attention? All right, I'll keep watching. Otherwise, I'm changing the channel. If you're sitting there, Oh, my God, I'm falling asleep.

And you're in a suit. Imagine you're in the suit there, you're itchy. What if it's hot in there?

You're sitting there, you're sweating in the suit. You're like, I can't believe.

I can't get up.

I sneeze a lot. I'm a loud sneezer. I'm a multiple sneezer. What if I sneeze in the middle? What if I have to cough? What's that?

On the other hand, though, it is a hero's welcome. I mean, you play your entire career to be honored as a national hero in front of policymakers and really important people thanking you for the job that you did. I can understand the internal conflict that people might have.

If the entire argument is that these guys are too myopic, they're too insulated with all their money and Fame and all that comes with that, that they don't really care, they're not deep diving on politics, then why would it matter to them to be cheered by the Congress?

I mean, I'm not looking at braided Kachuk, looking for foreign policy. That's what I'm saying. I saw videos- They're pawns, and there's no way to argue around that.

Matthew Kachuk might think this is the moment of his life. I guarantee you, because they are human beings, they're not a monolith sitting there. This is the greatest. Some of them voted the other way. So they're getting jammed up there. And why it's bad is, and for all the people that are strawman arguing this, Cash Patel is a bad guy for wanting to celebrate that. Donald Trump is a bad guy for calling in. You're upset that the President of the United States called in and they laughed. No, these are straw man arguments. The problem is that they're getting jammed up in that spot, and now whether or not they want to be in there. Matthew Kachuk clearly wants to put his gold medal on Cash Patel. Everybody standing around laughing uncomfortably at Trump's joke don't want to do that. What are you going to do in that moment? The idea that you would end the call or something is not a plausible result there. You're wishing that somebody would do something you wouldn't do in that same spot, but they are ultimately being used for someone else. I'm sorry there. I mean, a long window.

No, you got it. You got it. Do you put it on the poll? If you had a choice for one hero's welcome, would Would you rather be at the State of the Union or 11? Because I feel like, yo, there's no great- Or both, second night at 11.

Third option, both?

No great. Because here's the thing, State of the Union, okay, these old white people are going to applaud me and say, Thank you for what you did for your country. They're boring, and I have to behave. I have to be well-behaved. Man, them boys at 11: 00 yesterday, they had the time of their life. My favorite ones were the ones who aren't Panthers because you could see their eyes wide and like, Whoa, what is all this about?

There's only one Panthers. Austin Matthews was like, I may never get this opportunity again.

Let's welcome Greg aboard the show today.

Hey, good morning.

Breakfast. Breakfast was good out there?

We saw you had yourself a little meal while you were here before coming in.

The egg and ham sandwich was extraordinary. Why did you say it that way? The reason is the croissant instead of the tougher English mother.

Most people say ham and egg, but he goes egg and ham.

Yeah, you lead with the egg when that's the standard.

Yeah, the chicken wins. Interesting. The chicken wins. Which came first. Yeah, that's a good point. That's interesting. I said the chicken, chicken and egg. What percentage of the old senators and congress people cheering tonight even watched any minute of Olympic hockey?

I think a good portion of them probably watched.

They didn't the senators, like Katie Kchuck and Jake Sanderson will be there.

I do wonder, though. So the team tonight, they'll be sitting in the rafters. Okay.

Willing ponds.

But that place is always packed, of course. The team, it's 20 players. So are people having their seats revoked to make room for the players?

A lot of fans aren't even showing up. They can just fill those seats.

Plenty of seats available, Zaz. If you just scroll on the old socials.

Oh, is that right?

Yeah. A lot of people are boycotting this. A lot of people plan. There's talk that people plan to get up and leave during it, and there's always extra room for assembled media and VIPs.

Okay. All right.

But it's pretty bad being honored at the State of the Union, which is the dullest, most boring hour and a half in political history. I can see the White House lawn because that you expect. You expect the token White House attaboy here. But the State of the Union, when did that become a thing for teams? I mean, this is not a criticism of Trump because any President who's in office right now would do it. But Trump or any other President is going to wrap themselves in the flag, take credit for the Olympic performance. We did so great at the Olympics. He's going to take advantage of that. And as long As long as the players realize, and sometimes I get the feeling Matthew Kutchuck is a little bit tone deaf on this. As long as the players realize that this is an immensely unpopular President with half of the nation. And so going to this to serve as a willing pawn is controversial. And as long as they realize that and accept it, then I'm all for it.

They don't realize it. That's the part in all of this is that they're constantly saying, this whole group is constantly saying, Keep politics away from this. Keep politics away from this. We don't want this to be political. You welcomed it in. You welcomed politics literally into your celebration and bringing Cash Patel into your locker room or not denying him access. Not that that would have been a very popular opinion amongst those guys, and Maybe they didn't want that getting out. But you're making a show with him right at the front as the biggest celebration.

But isn't that where someone part of the management team of Team USA needs to say something? If you think one of the players for Team USA is going to stand up there and tell Cash Patel not to come in the dressing room and celebrate with them. You're nuts. You're nuts. No one's going to do that.

I'm sure they were all brought to it, and I'm not even saying that they needed to. I'm saying when politics enters the arena, you are now inherently political. When you accept an invitation to a state of the Union that is going to be a state of the Union that rants and raves against immigrants, against members of the LGBTQ community, against all sorts of different people, it is going to be a disaster Monster tonight. And you're going to have all of these hockey players sitting there, maybe for the first time, realizing, what did we get ourselves into? We talked yesterday about the concept of, How is this going to age? And I don't know that these guys are going to necessarily change their minds. There will be some who are still, who are supportive of the President. There are others who are not. But when you're sitting in that room and you're realizing what's going on and some of the things that are going to be said tonight about the American people and the people who live in this country, that is going to be a giant stain on these guys and the way they're perceived by, by the way, more than half the country.

Trump is a very unpopular President at the moment. The People who love him, love him. But he's an incredibly unpopular President when you look at the polling around the country.

It's the most unpopular he's ever been during his career as a politician.

Which is why he's wrapping himself in the flag of something that's actually successful, which is this team. I desperately wanted to enjoy. I did I enjoy this. I was feeling so American and proud to be an American when USA won the gold. It was awesome. Within 30 minutes, politics got brought into it. I didn't ask for that. I didn't want politics to be brought in. Just like folks on the right, I'm saying, Please, please keep politics away from my sports. It's my space to escape, too. I know we delve into it, but our show is more than just a sports show.

How would the other side feel if they win and look who just walked into locker room to congratulate all the guys. It's Colin Kaepernick. They would have lost their mind.

I feel like we're also walking into a trap right now because this is so historically unpopular for progressive Democrats, anybody that is in opposition of MAGA, to take out the US men's hockey team. See, we can't even enjoy this when they were the ones that made this unavoidably political by having Cash Patel there, by having the President speak on the speaker phone, by getting invited to the State of the Union. I feel like, and it's okay, look, I like our hand this year better than I've liked it in years previous, but this is a losing position for progressives coming out and trying to take away people's feel good and inject it with our opinions, even though they're the ones that made it political. It's why they do it so often. It's why they go to sports so often. It's why this administration, in particular, is so deaf at handpicking who they go after. And we're walking right into the traffic.

It's a bad... That's exactly right. And it is not a great spot to be put in. I don't give either side credit for seizing on this. But that's right. What it amounts to is Josh Pate or Jolly Roll or otherwise now react, and I'm sure at some point, Matthew could Chuck like, Oh, now it's a problem for me to do... Yeah, it was a problem always for you because for the last 10 years, the message has been, I want to leave politics behind and just get lost in sports. Now, all of a sudden, it's okay for you to align yourself with this. Of course, it is tolerating intolerance is not a great spot, is not a great position to take. And that's ultimately what K'Chuck and otherwise are doing here.

Don Levatard. Mike Ryan's in there, and he's the one with a baby. He's the one who's got to worry about what the future is. And Mike Ryan bet on DraftKings because Mike Ryan bet on us.

This is the you're afraid of doubling down on, putting up a billboard in Edmonton?

Stugatz. I care more about Matthew Kitchuck than I do my daughter. This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

You know what I'll be watching instead of the State of the Union? Heat Bucks, baby.

I can't wait. I'll tell you this, Miami Heat win a couple of games this week. I'm going to be even more annoying about that than I am about politics.

Oh, is that right? Don't let him do that.

Don't let him win two more.

How is that going to work?

Is that right?

Don't let him win two more. Don't let him get to five straight wins.

I'll tell you something.

It's a healthy heat team.

It looks different. I'm very happy with what I'm seeing and hearing from Tyler Hero. That's right. Tyler Hero should be coming off the bench, not because he's not a starter in the NBA, but that's just what's best for this team. And what he's been saying after these last couple of wins and how well he's been playing, saying all the right things. I like Tyler Hero coming off the bench. I think I might be with you. If the heat win these two games this week, that's a five-game winning streak.

It's a five-game win streak and likely headed into Friday sitting in the sixth seed away from anyone else outside of the play-in, all of a sudden turning into Greg's team you don't want to play in the first round.

Yeah, there you go. I forget the acronym for that, Team T-W. Yeah, I mean, Tyler Hero saying all the right things publicly. I wonder if behind the scenes, he and Spoe have had the conversation about, I'm not real happy to be healthy.

Gosh, but it's so… You happen to know? I happen to know. You happen to know that that's not…

I happen to know that there has not been a complaint about coming off the bench behind the scenes. Good for him. Not yet. He happens to know?

Great Scott, he happens to know. He happens to know.

I have a question.

Gather everyone. Get the children. He happens to know.

So why is Dave, do you have a question?

Sorry about that.

I thought that was done.

Jesus Christ, Dave.

I'm sorry, Tony. Do you watch the show? Do you know what we do here? You have pretty eyes, too. Now, listen, I'm curious in the local hour here and with Greg Cody now arrived, what is now, maybe it's Matthew Kachuk's position, it could be Dolphins' quarterback. What is the greatest single position in Miami sports history? You can cross into any sports. It could be Hockey goalie, it could be starting pitchers for the Marlins. It could be running back.

What's the position we glorify the most?

What's Miami's greatest position?

I mean, it's got to be quarterback. I think it's quarterback in almost every-Quaterback for Humst. Reno, Greasy.

Quaterback for Humst.

Ryan Tannen. Is it a big deal to be a quarterback for the Huracan?

That's your greatest position you've ever had. Miami Dolphins. Miami Dolphins' quarterback is the category, or the U-Quaterbacks, or the U- Runningbacks.

I feel like U- Runningbacks has to be it, right?

You- Runningbacks, come on now.

I I don't think it's even particularly close.

In this city's rich sports history, the single greatest position that you could offer up to the sports gods is our local college's running backs.

Probably Miami Huracan Runningbacks, yeah.

I don't know about that.

I saw a stat recently. They had by far the most thousand-yard NFL seasons out of any school.

Yeah, that's combined. Frank Gore had multiple thousand-yard years. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm just saying it's not as though they have the highest number of individual guys who got to a thousand yards.

I think the quarterback is always the king. I mean, look at both of UM's Heisman winners have been quarterbacks. The past three years, Cristobal is getting credit for winning the portal with star quarterbacks, not runningbacks. I think down here, though, you look at players, not positions. If you're making an all-time Mount Rushmore, you start with Wade and Moreno, and then maybe just on merit, you add Lionel Messi, even though he's only been here a few years.

What the hell are we talking? You can't have Messi and Moreno on the same list. We're talking when those aren't even the same sport.

In terms of efficiency and pro-sports, getting the most juice out of that position, attacking forward, professional soccer. He even dating back to Louis Morgan.

He got you there.

Did you see- Sheesh.

That's how dire things are in Miami that you're going to- No, that's how great-that you're going to- Leo Messi has been.

That's how great he has been.

They have the fourth best player in the history of the sport.

Speaking of the hurricanes, did you see... There's a banquet every year. It's like a Steve Spurrier banquet deal where a bunch of coaches come and they all hang out, I guess.

Malikai Tony got some award for the freshman of the year, I believe.

It's a big dinner. Everybody has a great time. There were some words thrown around last night at this Spurrier banquet. Okay, first, this is Kirby Smart, all right? He's the head coach, Georgia Bulldogs. Here he is taking some shots.

Margo's right behind him, and if it had been up to him, he would have paid a lot more in that money because it came down to us, too. I don't like you being real close to Margo right now. You know what I'm saying? He still got another year left. Got to be careful around Mario. Sometimes it'll take you players, if you know what I mean. No, I'm just kidding. It's all right. I was talking to Mario earlier, and he came up to me, and he gave me a Lane Kiffin joke. He and Lane are very similar in a lot of ways. They're like best friends. He came up to me. He's like, You got to start getting on some protein shakes. You've had too many carbs. I said, Well, you probably got to spend some time with Steve Sperrier because he won more conference championships at Duke than you have in Miami.

It's a little bit of a roast there of Mario Cristobal from Kirby. By the way, when Kirby Smart says, He'll take your players if you know what I mean, was there someone there who didn't know what he meant?

I like the quote, if you know what I mean. You don't get to do that when you're saying exactly what you mean.

Who didn't understand?

It's like saying, Zaz got a big eye ahead, if you know what I mean.

I know what you mean. Apparently, Kirby Smart has writers. That was pretty good. That was good. Good tight five from him, by the way. All right. He controlled the command with the mic, waiting for the laughter to finish. That's a pro right there. The Spurrier thing, it's tongue.

I'm not sure he's kidding.

Well, let's see Mario's response. Let's give Mario a chance here.

I'll tell you what, the first thing is it's a great piece right there to watch what a player like Carson Beck could do with great coaching. You know what I mean? I know, seriously, let's give it up We're going to be smart. Let's give it up for Kermi Smart. We're going to be smart. We're going to be working for all his years of free NIL. We want to have NIL right now. I think it's not a secret.

If you reach the point you need, I got to do it.

The Robinson family, great senior. We leave at 9: 30 on the real thing. We have more than one restaurant in Miami as opposed to happens to be here. I certainly appreciate being here. I know I could go on for a little bit. But no, you got to give a guy like Kirby credit. When you have all that time to sit at home watching us play on TV throughout the band, if you don't take care of business. But congratulations on the SEC in the Championship. That's awesome. We were five and 0 against the SEC. I don't know what you were. But Man, I'm in enemy territory, too. I got to feel like some of you are on 30 side. But no, you guys are super professional. I never felt so welcome in enemy territory. I was at last year at the swamp, 4117. But I don't know.

Okay, first of all, Mike, it's like, look at Mike Ryan. Mike was enjoying it. What are you doing with that hand? It's like you were at the Apollo cheering in the crowd, man.

He sounded like me when I was listening to Andrew Friedmann talk about 3-0 change-up.

That was my first time seeing that.

That was great. Okay, can we go around the room here? Who won that battle there? Kirby Smart or Mario Cristobal. Tony, who won there?

Mario, you saw him working the stage, too. He started walking to the other side, walked this way. It was great.

He won for Mario. He was doing clear set-ups.

Dude, that was a 10-8 round.

Jeremy? Mario Cristobal. That's Chris. Kirby. Amine?

Zaz, I go to Roast Battle whenever I'm in LA. I know the Roast Battle people. I know Jeff Ross, all those guys. I'm going to tell you right now, that Mario Cristobal, he's got a welcome spot in the belly room at the Comedy Store. That was A1 material. Greg?

I want that Mario Cristobal at all times. Every day, right? I want him in a postgame speech. I want that Mario all the time. I thought that was brilliant. I don't know if he wrote all those jokes himself. No, he didn't. It doesn't matter. He was great. He won. Dave?

Listen, I like to debate things who's better than whom, but Listen, credit to both of those guys. That was well done. The presentation from both. How did they both have those jokes holstered and delivered in the way they did? It didn't appear that they were reading off of anything.

Like I said, go to Rose Battle. A lot of comics, they're reading off the phone. They're checking off their phone, their notes. Like, What am I going to say about this guy? These guys going off the dome, they're not comedians. But like Tony said, the delivery, the pacing, the letting it breathe, it's all A1. I have a new respect for both of those guys today.

Yeah, Kirby Smart did draw first blood. Mario was sitting there, looked at his watch, said, I got time today.

But that's the part that I'm confused about. It's like, Yo, those were retorts Advertise. How many of them could have been pre-written?

Well, because these were all things that were front of mind when we were chasing the playoffs and then in the playoffs, 5-0 against the SEC.

Who was the kid that they were talking about, Mike?

Ellis Robinson, which was a great recruiting battle between George great recruiting battle between Georgia and Miami. He ended up going to Georgia. It should be noted, plenty of Miami hurricanes, not good ones, but plenty of Miami hurricanes went to Georgia. They outnumbered the people that came over from Georgia.

Marlins right fielders? Gary Sheffield, Miguel Cabrera, Giancarlo Stanton.