Transcript of Hour 1: Mike Ryan's Patriotic Sacrifice New

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Something really weird/stupid is happening on IMDb. Dave, you know what IMDb is? Sure I do. Greg, you know what IMDb is?

I don't know what it stands for, but it's something to do with film.

Internet movie database.

I thought it's international. It's the internet?

Oh, yeah, you may be right.

It's internet. It's internet. Okay.

What are those? But you see how I believed in you, Dave, that I immediately, I must be wrong and you must be right. I believed in you.

It's international.

Yeah, I think it's international.

International movie or internet? It was internet.

It was internet. Internet movie database.

Oh, so Dave is right. Yes. There you go.

The guy who lives in Hollywood is right. The guy who lives in Hollywood, Florida is wrong. Wow.

Okay. Learn something new every day.

Grew up in Hollywood, Florida.

Internet movie database.

You were going to be condescending to him.

No, I was giving him a comment that I believed him right away, and my instincts were correct to believe that he was right and I was wrong. My instincts were right. I get credit. Props to Zazlo. Kingpin. So something really stupid is happening on the Internet movie database between two fan bases of shows. You ready for this, Greg? A new show that I have been watching, which just wrapped up a couple of days ago, is a Game of Thrones spinoff, a prequel, if you will, called A Night of the Seven Kingdoms, Which, oh my God, what a show. Love it. What a show. I loved it from the get-go. I mean, come on.

I didn't know what I was getting into. Me neither. It was Game of Thrones prequel. I was like, Okay, let's see what this one's about.

You thought it'd be similar to House of Dragons?

House of Dragons, which I thought was okay.

Well, first season, House of Dragons is really good.

I thought it was okay. I thought it was okay. I turned this on with the same expectation, and the first scene ends with the guy taking a dump by the tree right in the middle of the credit.

They do the fake out of the opening credit.

I'm like, Are they trying to be funny? Then by episode 2, I realized, Oh, they're trying and succeeding.

They're trying to be funny, and this show's got some heart, and it's going to make you feel good. It's a tremendous show. It just wrapped up the first season, six or seven episodes, I think six episodes, a couple of nights ago. It's a great, great season. If you're a fan of Game of Thrones, you should watch it, but it's a completely different tone from Game of Thrones. I think it was episode 4, maybe, four or five for Night of the Seven Kingdoms. That on the Internet movie database- It's five.

Episode five. It's the Jaws one.

On the Internet movie database, it was immediately scored a perfect 10. 0. It's a great episode. It's really, really great. It deserves a 10. 0. It was given a 10. 0. Then, Breaking Bad fans, who, of course, very famously, the episode, Osmandius, spoiler alert, if you haven't watched Breaking Bad, Ousmandias is the one where Hank meets his fate.

Just It's the best one. I said spoiler. You don't have to say spoiler. You can just say it's the best. It got a 10, a perfect 10.

That's all you need to know. I don't need anything extra. You don't need that. You don't need that. You're limited.

What happened in the episode.

You're allowed to talk about what happened.

It's when Hank picks up the book and he sees the name Walter White.

I mean, you're allowed to bring up what happened in Breaking Bad at this point. It was so long ago. It was so long ago. It was 2026, man.

Come on, Dan.

Irrelevant to his story.

Okay. It's like me saying, spoiler alert, the US won the gold medal.

Well, that one, that's a little too fresh. We're not even a week out.

So Osmandius, originally, very famously on the Internet movie database, got a 10. 0. Also well deserved. Well, apparently, the Breaking Bad fans are mad that Ozmandius Another show, in this case, Night of the Seven Kingdoms, received a 10. 0. And what happens when you're mad about another show's score, you have to spam the rating on imdb. Com. I mean, can you explain what that means?

Yes. Basically, whether it's manually or via bots, they have gone in and actively one-star voted this episode. That is a great episode just to reduce its overall average so that their favorite episode of their favorite show remains sitting in the Crown. Who gives a shit? Well, then I'll tell you who gives a shit. Fans of Night of the Seven Kingdom because they went back and they did the same thing to them, and now your perfect 10. 0 Breaking Bad is gone.

That's what you get.

That's what you get.

That's what you get.

Someone figure it out.

What's interesting about this is that I don't believe the Game of Thrones episode or the Night of Seven Kingdom episode ever actually reached a 10. 0. What happens with the Breaking Bad side of it is, apparently, whenever these prestige TV shows, the ones with bigger fan bases, are inching toward that 10. 0, Breaking Bad fans will preemptively strike and make sure that it never gets there. So for example, there was a heated- That's a sickness. There was a heated rivalry episode that reached a 10. 0, and I think might even still be at a 10. 0, but not the same level of fandom, not the same level of reviews. There's maybe a thousand reviews there as opposed to tens of thousands of reviews like there are with the others. And so Game of Thrones fandom was mad. It never got to the 10. 0. So they went and started bombing Ozymandias. And this has become an all-out war where they each keep going down on the list. And now, these are two incredible episodes of TV that are just nowhere near rated where they're supposed to be.

So we have more evidence of people being absolutely psychotic. Yeah. And these people are all among They're all around us. They're all around us. There might be somebody out there that did this.

Who among us?

That was sitting in their computer like, You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to press one star 47 times this hour. It's like, What is wrong with you? Go do something. Go get a life. Go outside, touch the grass. Go walk the dog.

I like this idea that Chris just presented. Let's assume that there's someone among us who did this. Who would it be? What's the answer? Me. Yeah. I thought you were going to say Dan because Dan loves Breaking Bad To us.

It's got to be someone who's-Yeah, but I don't know how to work a computer.

That's a good point.

It's got to be-I don't know the first thing about that. Someone who's super passionate about their favorite television show.

I could see Zaz being a voter.

Oh, yeah. I could see you. I could see you. I'm the one who brought up and said that this is a sickness.

Yeah, but he was smelt it, dealt it.

Yeah, exactly. He's right about that. Yeah, Zaz did it.

Let me tell you, I can imagine Zaz sitting there, two liter of Coke next to him. I don't drink soda. He got a soda drinker's body sitting in his grandma's basement under the computer.

Big CRT monitor. We don't have basements in Florida. Just keep saying things that are actually incorrect.

But you look like it.

Yeah, you look like you have a basement.

Has had root beer, though.

What does that mean?

You look like your grandmother has a When you see it, you know it.

Yeah, exactly.

You have had root beer, though, right? You've now tried it.

Unfortunately, I have on mystery crate a couple of episodes ago. Go back in the archives, you could check it out. I tasted a bunch of drinks that I'd never had before, and that root beer was a vomit.

If I understood your review correctly, it had a minty flavor to it?

It tasted like toothpaste.

That's interesting. I enjoy. I will generally when I am... Because just to be clear, I am not so dorky that I would go on to IMDb argue about Breaking Bad or otherwise. I'm busy making my list about the best position groups and stuff like that and ice cream rankings. And mint chip is at the top of the pile. I love mint chip. I don't like it, though. When my wife, when I'm eating it, she'll let me taste it.

It still tastes like toothpaste. Yeah, it's gross.

It has a freshness to it.

And then it gets in my head and it ruins my ice cream eating experience.

Cookies and cream is the only appropriate answer. The GOAT. The GOAT.

The only good answer.

Come It's got to be maple Walnut. Sorry.

A good new entry into the conversation, Churro. Churro, because what we're talking about is cinnamon. Cinnamon ice cream. That makes the winner stand. It still goes mint chip one. I think Churro has now scratched itself above even coconut.

How can a flavor I've never heard of be your favorite?

You've never heard of maple Walnut.

It's a great ice cream's ass.

I'm the only one.

Never had it. I've heard him say it my whole life. I've never heard of that. I've never heard of that.

I I've had maple Walnut. It's really good. Greg's absolutely right.

It's especially big in the New England area, but you can get it to Publix, has it? You can get it down here. It's divine. It's what I would call an adult ice cream. Churro and mint and all this stuff is not adult ice cream.

Greg, you're talking about adult ice cream to a man who looks like he carries a two liter of Coke with him wherever he goes. That's bullshit. He look at how he's dressed. Do you think this guy knows about maple walnut and adult ice creams? No way.

Zaz Here's what I want you to know. Here's the good news. Amine clearly has self-esteem issues. He goes at you about having a soda drinker's body. He calls other people unnamed. He refers to them as Muppets. That reflects poorly on him, ultimately. Not on us.

I'm just an adult, along with Greg Cody.

Thank you. Thank you, Amine.

You're all settling on me being the one who would spam the rating on IMDb?

Absolutely. Of the seven... How many we got here? Of the eight of us? Yeah, you're my vote.

I think I think Jeremy might as well.

I think Jeremy-In the whole other room? Then I don't think he'd be in there. Then Rose would be.

I've got Jeremy on Blue Sky posting about it. Obviously. I don't have him actually going into IMDb because everyone knows that that is a haven for people on the alt-right. Yeah, that's right.

All right. It's third and goal. You just got a personal foul. You're backed up to 25-yard line. You're down four. Do you take two shots into the end zone or do you it up to the 43-yard line?

It's going to ruin the game.

Yeah.

It's going to ruin the game.

It makes the game so much more fun.

What do you do? Answer the question, do you take the two shots into the end zone, or do you back it up to the 43-yard line to set up a four-point kick?

You're telling me you think it's good for the game that on that second down, the quarterback is going to run backwards 15 yards and then fall down.

You think that's good for the game? Depends on who my kicker is. If I have automatic out, I'm doing that, man. Give me back there. Hell, yeah. You know what we're going to do? I'm not even going to do that. I'm just going to have a running back all the way back there and get the long snapper and have them long snap the hell out of me. No.

That's good for the game. I don't want anyone to get hurt with the actual play being run. I'm just going to say something really offensive to an official. Get a penalty.

Fifteen yards. Well, I've also done some digging. The NFL chat has helpfully pointed out that you cannot run backwards to set up a punt. Because remember, they've outlawed punts from inside the 50. If you're right there in no man's land, some team might take the same logic and be like, Well, let me back myself up. It won't work like that. You're not allowed to punt. Even if you get backed up by penalty or by runs, you're still committed no punts.

I like this. I like this because punts, not fun, but long kicks, fun. To win the game, it's such a ballsy move to say, I know we've got two strikes at it. Nope. Going to use one to go backward, and then I'm going to trot out... What's him?

Automatic out, you said. Brettman Aubrey.

Brettman Aubrey or someone like that. Or what's my man from... Gosh, Vinatari. Oh, get him out there, man. Oh, what about Sebastian Janakowski? He was born for this. I'd get him out of retirement. Sebastian Janakowski, I've seen him hit like 90-yard field goals before a game. When he was at Florida State.

You saw him make a 90-yard field goal before the game.

When he was at Florida State, yeah. So what he used to do is they would literally where the kickoff is, he would kick through the uprights from where the kickoff spot was. He is the most incredible kicker I've ever seen in my life. And that's the reason why he went first round as a kicker.

Think about that. Another half a foot guy, right?

Because the Raiders were in the league. That's why he went first in overall.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

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Don Lebatard. You want me You owe me everything. You owe me everything.

You have added 10 years to my career. Yes, I have. This man has. You haven't. That man.

Who the hell are you? Let me tell you. Stugatz. I am.

Who the hell are you?

Who are you?

You should be banking. Bullshit. You're a rude young man.

You're a fool.

You're a fool. I already called you a fool. You're a fool right back. You can't call me a fool.

You're an idiot again.

It's a fool off.

You're an idiot twice.

You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Here's the fundamental flaw with all these kicking-related things is that we have convinced ourselves because of circumstance that it's exciting. Obviously, when your team wins at the gun on a field goal, you're excited about it. It is not the most exciting way to end football games. We're consumed by phrases like sudden death, and that sounds great. What would be better, what would be more satisfying ultimately is to play... Yes, you read my mind. No, would be to play out the full overtime, to play We should effort to marginalize kickers, not to enhance their role in football games. It's too much, as I already said. When guys were going out there to make 38-yard field goals and there was some doubt about their ability to do that, that was an interesting element of the game. The fact that you can run a guy out there because you barely got across midfield and come away with three points is not the way that the game was laid out in the mind of- You faced out the punter. The creators of the game did not imagine that there would ever be human beings out there nailing 65-yard field goals with consistency.

You know what the creators of the game also did not imagine? A guy throwing the ball to someone down the field. I know. Life evolves. Life finds a way. You got to let it find a way here. You don't like the strategy?

The forward pass improved the game. My point is, kicking from 65 yards and making 75% of them is not a satisfying outcome for the sport ultimately.

Who do you hate more, kickers or punters? For me, it's Punt.

You hate punters?

I think we've phased them out here with this new rule. So yeah, maybe we boosted the credentials of the kicker on your roster, maybe just a little bit more, made them a little bit more important. But we've effectively killed the punter. And this is good. By the way, the NFL chat has reached out to a current NFL head coach, ran that very same scenario. What would you do? Two shots in the end zone or back your team up for a four-point kick? And he said-What did he say?

He said, That's my give-it.

He would take two shots in the end zone. Wow.

See? That's a coach right there. What a chat having access to a coach. It is.

That's it. That's a great chat.

I can't believe there's a NFL chat.

But you guys are assuming that everyone's going to do it the new way. No, that's the beauty of it. Is there going to be traditionalists? They're going to be traditionally said, No, we're going for the end zone. And then there's going to be one wacky guy, maybe a Mike McDaniel, the NFL says, Wait a second, guys. Watch this. And when they do it, and everyone's like, What are they doing? Oh, my God, they just got a big. Oh, no. The kicker's coming. They're going for a four. And then he hits it, and everyone's going to lose their mind. I don't know why you guys hate fun so much on the show.

The seven people in the stands are going to lose their mind watching this NFL nailbiter. You hate fun. This is an entire loser's conversation that I refuse to participate in any further because you're talking about the NFL, which is desperate enough to do something so foolish as this. Listen, the AFL mattered, the USFL mattered, and those are the only two side leagues that ever mattered in pro football.

Buddy, let me tell you something. You're calling us You're the biggest losers. You wanted Canada to win.

You're the biggest loser. That is true. Usa.

Usa.

Usa. You're the Jeremy's champion. Usa. I'm 10 USA, too. Listen, there was an asterisk. How dare you? I put an asterisk next to that that if one player, Sydney Crosby, could score the gold.

In what sweater? A Canadian sweater.

Okay, that's all you got to say. You're done.

Trader. You're done. Hey, guess what? I'll go one further. I'll go one further than that.

You better not.

Benedict Arnold, what you got for us now?

Red, white, and blue, great. Black and gold over red, white, and blue all day for this guy right here.

Look at this guy. Exactly. The ultimate capitalist, me above we.

No, I'm rooting for my region. Think globally, act locally. That's what I'm rooting locally. I'm rooting for- I'm with you. The banks of the Three Rivers. Two traders.

I'm with you.

Two traders. Not the black and gold part, but in theory, I'm with you. Sure.

Of course. Shame. Shame on both of you.

How is it shame? I would rather the Panthers win a Stanley Cup than the US win the Olympics. I mean, whatever.

You won two already. They've won three. This is the third gold medal ever.

I understand. On the other hand, Greg Cody in Vegas waking up at 5 AM to watch the American.

True favorite.

True American right there.

Real American. Yes.

I was chatting USA, the entire game, my wife goes, Shut up. I want to hear the TV. It was a wonderful game. I was so thrilled to get up that early. And how about Connor McOva rated Fesley?

Hell, yeah.

Take that. Zero points in all the games that matter.

How about that?

Mike, You have the balls to say right now that you would rather the US won that gold this weekend than the Panthers win another Stanley Cup. Do you have the balls to actually say that?

I'm not here to be deposed. I'm asking you a question. I like winning gold, baby. That was awesome. I'm asking you a question. Why do I have to pick one? What is this? Because I got to choose.

I got to choose? Don't ask me that.

I don't have to choose. No one loves this country more than me. Nobody.

Nobody. Nobody.

And that's why I was there as a service.

You're not answering your answer.

To all us Libbs out there. While Clay Travis is taking photos from 11, while people from the right are lifting this team up to propagandize them and normalize their agenda, I was there for us, pushing the Libb agenda saying we could be just as patriotic. You You're not going to be thanking me. Not ask me mind benders.

Man of the people.

Not like you.

Clay Travis was there?

Loser. You. Yeah, I'm talking to you then. How am I a loser? Because you would rather look- You're Canadian.

Yeah, exactly. I'm not Canadian. Yes, you are.

You have dual citizenship.

Yes, you Anti-American.

Show us your passport.

I was born here, and my passport says United States.

Well, I don't know about that. What does the other one say?

Santa Fe College.

That's bullshit. You know that. Don't bring that bullshit.

Is that the bullshit?

That's the bullshit right there.

You're Canadian, too.

I think that red passport is the bullshit. I'm not Canadian. My father hears you say he's going to be very angry at you.

Closet Canadian.

I think Amin, the man looking back at him in the mirror is the liar. I think Tony, the man looking back at him- You know about that man look in the mirror? Is a liar as well. If you think that you- Man in the mirror has never lied to me. Well, listen, if the guy looking back in the mirror is telling you that you deep down would rather have the USA gold over a Stanley Cup, I think that's a lie. I would absolutely want the USA gold over a Stanley Cup.

I don't care about the Stanley Cup. Some of us love this country. Exactly. That's right.

Some of us love this country so much that on a Monday night, they would go to a gentleman's club and be surrounded by liquor, vices, buts just to show you and the right-wing media that people on the left can get down with it, too.

Can I tell you something? Back in 1980, I was a wee lad. I have no GD explanation for how this happened. But my old man was working with the Pittsburgh Penguins. But somehow, of all the human beings who could have done this, my old man was asked, and I was in the car with him, to give Olympic champion, Mark Johnson, the great goal scorer from the 1980 US team, to give him a ride. I don't know where we were, that we had to transport him. I don't think it was the airport, to the civic arena to pick up his car.

A lot of extra details in this story.

I was in a car with Mark Johnson, like 48 hours after he put the gold medal on. I was essentially Cash Patel before Cash Patel.

I had to see my way through a sea of to order a tequila soda lime because I love this country that much.

They cleared out of the way. Look at the guy with the pretty eyes. Here he comes.

There was a lot of, I know you hate this, but let's take this picture. I know you hate this, but let's have small talk. I did that because it was my civic duty as a Patriot. Thank you for your service. As someone that loves the United States of America more than you can ever imagine. That's not a USA sweater you're wearing.

It's a Florida Panthers one.

My USA is soaked.

That's right. Soaked and sweat.

And champagne.

And champagne. And tequila. And tequila.

And cigar smoke.

There was so much cigar smoke. Oh, my God. I did that for you.

Was there a player you were forced to kip it with last night?

I don't know what that word means. Chat. Chat with? No. I was given the mic reluctantly, and I was told to say something in Spanish.

Chat up for DJ Dennis.

Put you in a bad spot.

It was. I wish I would have done the call and repeat. Colombianos. I would have gotten a nice old pop there. I just started chaining Libetad, and that went over.

Now, I've got a theory about this. Our buddy DJ, Genesis, who I've learned last night, is the official DJ for the Fantas. I know him. I've been knowing him the streets. And I was like, Wait a second. Why does he have a ring on his finger? And I was like, Oh, snap. Put two and two together. So he's like, Oh, shout out Mike Ryan. He's here. Oh, shout out to Dan Lepetard show. Oh, shout out Amine. Amine's here. Everyone's here. And he said, Mike, get in here. And he's like, Hey, we're in Miami. So if you guys aren't from Miami, welcome to Miami. This is how we do things. Mike, say some shit in Spanish. And I was like, I don't think Mike speaks Spanish like that. That's a rough spot. But I'm like, Maybe I don't know Mike as well as I thought I did. And as soon as Mike went up there and said,. I was like, Oh, no, he's got nothing.

He's going right.

It worked. It worked.

I thought it was... I thought it was... I thought he was going to cross over the right-Cross over the left. Oh, my God. His Spanish is amazing. I was like, No, he just kept going right. But it did work. You did get it.

Look, I keep them on their heels. Greg, you'd be proud of me. I did end it all with a let's go States.

Did you really? I did. Nice. Yes. I am proud of you.

Speaking of routing interest and such, I was at the bar, the hotel bar last night, and I met a lovely couple and was yapping about this, that, and the other. At one point, I said to the guy, take a look at this. I said, So you're a Tide fan? And he became outraged. He said, A Tide fan? How could you say such a thing? I said, Well, your hat is clearly an Alabama crimson Tide. He turned it around and he said, No, it's an Atlanta Braves hat. Oh, that's bullshit.

No, it was obvious.

That's a bad color, though.

That's not a Braves color. It's a white hat With red, with crimson A. That's a very obvious Atlanta Braves look.

No, it's not. No, your faunce. It was the first thing I thought.

When you said Alabama- You don't wear a white hat. The Braves don't wear white hats. They wear Navy hats. That's what I said to them. I said, Go get the proper hat, and then this mistake won't happen again. You'll have this conversation again, zero % for the rest of your life if you wear the Braves hat. You're wearing a white hat with a red A on it. Of course, I think that's the now- Why is it the background on your phone? It's a wonderful night.

Just let me make that my wallpaper. That is how it happens with Dave when you meet him out in public. You'll just start yelling at you like that.

And now you're his wallpaper on his phone.

Well, he had a lovely night with that couple.

I mean, I'm glad you're here today. I know you're here yesterday, but I was not here yesterday. I'm glad you're here today because last week, I wanted to get into the Kevin Durant Twitter stuff, but we trust you and your sources and your MBA knowledge, and you told us that it's bullshit. Kevin Durant, it's not... Yes, he has had burner accounts before, but this is not one of those cases where he's saying things about former teammates. So I'm glad you're here today because I do want to get some more of your thoughts on how this discourse with Kevin Durant, it's not going away, is it?

So Zaz, this is an interesting thing. You know why You remember that X-Files? Yeah. You remember the X-Files? Yeah. Do you remember the X-Files movie? I saw that, yeah. X-files movie came out a few years after the X-Files show stopped.

They finally slept together in the movie. Yes, they did.

But the big thing about the X-Files movie-It's the only reason to make the movie. The marketing campaign was a bunch of posters of famous conspiracies, like a UFO and Loch Ness or whatever, and just the tagline, I want to believe. I want to believe. Right. I want to believe. Incredibly prescient, because that is the era we're in now. Forget about fake news or whatever. We're in an era where you don't even have to concoct a elaborate ruse to trick people. You can just say, I think he did it. And because people want to believe it, that's all they need. I was texting with Dan this weekend, and Dan was like, I don't know. I said, Dan, what's the evidence? What everyone's talking about? I said, Dan, everyone's talking about it like it. It's him, but I've We've never seen anyone connect the dots the way we did when we found out Brian Calangelo's burner when he was a GM of the Sixers. Fight the New Slant. Yeah. We don't have anything. We just have people saying, Well, yeah, he doesn't like his teammates. That's it. So this belief comes solely from the fact of belief and not from anything else.

And I think all of us, I was going to say people in the media or whatever, but all of us, we should ask more of one another than to simply believe something because it sounds like something that makes us happy. Like, oh, yeah, I love it. I love the idea that Kevin Durant is killing his teammates this way. But the reality is beyond, like I said, the people I talk to and also the syntax of the tweets, which is like, that's not how he tweets. That's not how he talks. I've seen him talk shit about people, both on the record, off the record, behind the scenes, and through a burner also. He doesn't talk about people with full names. I miss Ben Simmons. He never would say that. He never would say that way. But beyond that, that's just me using my deductive reasoning and logic. I'm just asking anybody who actually thinks it's him, All right, what's your proof? Other than he had a burner five, six years ago. There's nothing. We just have to hold each other to a higher standard of, Look, it's a funny joke. I'm with you for the jokes.

The jokes are forever. I don't need fact behind jokes. That's why you got a soda drinker's body. But if we're talking about facts and reality, there There's none of that associated with this story. Okay, Nikola. Quizfrage. Homeoffice Barstado oder Fahrtkosten. Was bringt uns mehr?

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I'm not going to apologize.

I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it, and you're a fool for saying it. Okay.

Stugatz.

You're a fool for calling somebody else as an idiot.

You're locking in right now. You're locking in on us. Let's drop the gloves, pal.

Let's You should be thanking me.

For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character. The second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? No, seriously. Jerémie just whispered.

Seriously, pal, I've added 10 years to your career.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

I think we believe this solely because fits the narrative of how we perceive Kevin Durant in his career and everything he's done. To me, that's what makes AI so potentially dangerous is that AI often fits the narrative. If it does, we're more apt to believe it and not even question it.

Absolutely. Also, AI through videos, through AI slop, let's just call it what it is, can provide people the evidence that prior had been unavailable. Well, here's a video of him talking about it when it's not real.

Why didn't he just say, It's not me?

I don't know. My guess is people told him, Hey, don't talk about it. It'll go away. Sure enough, by the way, the LaMelo Ball accident took over Twitter and Instagram and threads.

So KD liked the accident?

Yeah, of course. It distracts.

They say, If you really want something to go away, don't give it any oxygen.

Because the other thing, the other reality of this era beyond I want to believe is, what's next? People are always on to what's next. And unless it's something massive, and even massive things. Man, I work with Pablo on real journalism, real fact finding, real unearthing about this Clipper's aspiration, Capsular Convention allegation. And people are sick of it. Like, Oh, find something new. We're finding new information, real information.

But thank goodness for that work that you and Pablo are actually doing, because as I've talked with him out. We now accept insiders who give out the information only that agents and teams want to be issued to the public. They now count as journalists in this weird new reality when, in fact, they're not journalists. They're just passing off spike thoughts from parties that are incented to pass those off. You have the wealthiest, the most affluent people at ESPN announcing into a microphone, Who needs reporters? They're bringing us down, man. We don't need actual reporting. It's just sports after all.

Sad state of affairs. Greg, I'm curious, were you ever... I know you've been a columnist for a while, but were you ever a newsbreaker in any way? I know the landscape has changed, but was newsbreaking ever a part of your- There was at one time.

That's probably the reason they kick me upstairs to be a columnist is that when I was a reporter, I wasn't breaking big stories. Now, I did cover UM football from 84 to 88 when there were a lot of offfield arrests. I One of my sources was a guy for the campus police. Yes, I did break a fair share of- Do you have a top three stories you broke?

Who hated you the most? If I were to ask you right now, what are the three breaking news that come to your mind immediately that you used?

Yeah, well said.

I would not. That was so bad. No, because they're minor stories. Why couldn't I say that properly? I traded Moreno. Does that count?

It was a That's a big one.

That's not a report.

I think it was a report.

That was an opinion.

So regrettable opinion is what that was. No, it wasn't.

I also made- It wasn't regrettable?

No. Hell no. How is it not regrettable? We saw what became of Scott Mitchell.

I don't regret it to this day. I think history and the way everything played out exonerated my opinion. Now, to this day, Dan Moreno doesn't really like to talk to me much, but nevertheless- Does he like to talk to anyone? I think I was right. I think in retrospect, they should have traded Moreno when they had a chance to get a windfall for him.

The unthinkable.

I'm going to try and distract from my my mistake. Tony, today is your lucky day. That means we're doing Bet the Castle. Why don't you go take- You look hungry.

You look hungry.

You take your position. I'm very jealous. I'm jealous. Let me go do it. I love Bet the Castle. No, you stay right there. I would love to. Tony's going to do it. Tony will get set up for Bet the Castle, and we'll talk to you in a moment.

I've just learned that Greg Cody advocated for trading away Dan Marino.

You don't know this story?

I've seen the article hanging on the wall. You can read it.

You're all upset because he's a Pittsburgh guy.

That's the only reason he's upset. No, no, no. Nfl teams, in 1983, called my home to talk to my old man to see if the rumors about Dan Marino were true.

Why don't you read some of it?

That's the column right there.

You can read it quietly.

Just let us know your thoughts. By the way, this is after a Dolphins' Wind. That's my favorite part. Dolphins 30, Chief Stan, The Unthinkable.

This is back in what? '93? Is this '93-ish?

Something like that.

'93. Greg and I have discussed this before. My hot take where Marino is concerned is that Don Chula failed him, the legend Don Chula. I don't know if this gets me in hot water in Miami to say so, but Don Chula flopped for the entirety of Dan Moreno's career and caused The number one reason.

It's a pretty common thought down here.

Is it? Oh, okay. I didn't know. I didn't know if that- Didn't get him to defense, didn't get him a running game.

Yeah, it's a common thought. Okay.

Well, excuse me, Zaz. No, I'm backing you up here.

I'm saying that- Booing you. That's not something that people would be mad that you said about Shula. That's what I'm saying.

I think it's absolutely true because when Shula was very old, the last interview I ever did with him before he passed away was I asked him, What's your biggest regret? And he said that I could never win one for Danny. So I think he realized he had somebody that if he had given a better defense to or a running game. I asked Moreno once, Who was the best running back you ever played for? And there was an awkward 10 or 15 second silence before he finally answered. I think he said Tony Nathan. But he never had a Ricky Williams or a great runner back. He never had a top five defense, I don't think. And so that's tough.

Chris, do you have that audio I messaged you about?

If I would ask you right now, what are the three breaking news that come to your mind immediately that you used?

Yeah, well said.

I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Like, I'm going to be lying down in bed trying to sleep. One more time? If I were to ask you right now, what are the three breaking news that come to your mind immediately that you used?

Yeah, well said.

You'll be lying in bed staring up the That you used. Then I'll go check my phone and people are going to be making fun of me on Twitter.

Heavy as the head that wears the crown.

That big-a head. Big-a crown.

As I continue to try and distract, let's go out to Tony. Let's do Beck the Castle.

Can we play it one more time before we go to Bet the Castle?

If I were to ask you right now, what are the three breaking news that come to your mind immediately that you used? Yeah, well said. There's nothing I could do the remainder of this show.

Cover that up. That was terrible. That was terrible. But you know what's not terrible? White Castle, brothers. We're doing Bet the Castle, baby. Let's go.

Love me some White Castle.

The NBA is in full swing. Second half is starting right now, and we're going to be looking at the NBA MVP and the odds for NBA MVP. Amin, I know you know about this. Zaz, you probably know about this, but there's a threshold that NBA MVPs need to make as far as games played.

I'm going to go through-Dumb threshold.

Dumb threshold. I completely agree. But a very current situation for a lot of the top guys in the NBA race right now. So you got Jokuj, who only needs to miss one more game to be disqualified. Wembe misses four games, he's disqualified. Luka misses five games he's disqualified. Sga, who's going to be reevaluated with a core muscle injury, six games before he's disqualified from winning MVP. So that leads Cade Cunningham with 11 games that he would need to miss to miss MVP. He's right now in most sportsbooks, at plus 500 to win the MVP. And if you're giving me value, Jalen Brown is at plus 3,000 in a lot of sportsbooks. Obviously, he's been playing a ton. And I think the race is really between those two, because if I tell you Jokuj misses one more game, I'll be like, Yeah, I agree. Wemby misses four games, he could miss a month. It doesn't matter. Sga, the same. They're trying to keep him healthy. Luka, I don't think he's going to win the MVP anyway. But I'm going to take Cade Cunningham at plus 500. And I did all of this stuff without pressing the 60 seconds for the- No, we were thinking about it.

But that's fine because I can redo it.

No, that's okay. I mean, are we going to get to a year? I originally liked the 65 games. Now, I think it's a major problem. I think they have to get away from it because I think what's going to wind up happening is, maybe it's Kate Cunningham who winds up winning it because you have other guys who are disqualified. In five years from now, six years from now, we're going to remember Kate Cunningham won that fake MVP because he only won it because the guys who really deserved it were disqualified. That's going to be the narrative.

You know, the weird thing is no one ever remembers that. No one ever remembers- People say that about Derrick Rose as MVP. No, they don't. People just say Derrick Rose is the youngest MVP ever. Now, people here remember that LeBron was way better and it was just- We are the best. The PR campaign was heavy against him for that first year.

Not only that. I mean, really quick. Steve Nash, I know that's your guy. I know that's your guy. But if you look at his stats, the second MVP, What's it about? Lebron had 31, 7, and 6. What are we talking about?

We're talking about a team that people thought wasn't going to make the playoffs.

The microwave.

There it was. Do you like Jalen Brown at plus 3,000, or do you like Cade Cunningham at plus 500?

I like Kate Cunningham at plus 500, man. I feel like that's a safe one.

Thank you for researching that. That is actually a good play. You outlined the case.

And that's Bet the Castle, which is presented by White Castle.

Circumstantially, though, the Jalen Brown argument should be better or should be more prominent than it is.

I'll tell you what's working against Jalen Brown. There's two things working against him. Number one is, statistically, there's not a strong argument for him. Chris Cody has more to say.

Oh, I'm sorry. Bet the Castle is presented to you by White Castle. Hunger says eat, cravings say eat this. With White Castle's 100% beef, grilled onions, melty cheese, and steamy buns that hold it all together, how can you not crave thy castle?

Support those that support us. Thanks, Dan's conscience. Number one, there's a statistical argument that his stats aren't strong enough, efficiently enough. Number two, he does not move the needle in terms of plus minus. All the advanced metrics don't really have him high. He's a good. I'm not saying he's bad, but it's just not elite. Number three, the on-off is particularly damning that the Celtics perform pretty well when he's not on the floor versus when he is on the floor. It's not like a Jokić thing where it's like when he goes off the floor, it falls apart. But the biggest thing, he's campaigning too much, man. The guy talks about it left and right. Everyone who's voting is like, Shut the hell up. That's the biggest thing, the thorn in his side.

I had to say, not now, but maybe check back a little later, at least eight times last night. I did that for America.