Transcript of Local Hour: No More D***ing Around New

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Our Show with the Stugats podcast.

All right, this is it. No more effing around. This is it. My my mood for the Next month and a half is going to be dictated on what tonight looks like. That's right. How I'm going to come into work in the morning. A major role is going to take place tonight in Sunrise, Florida. Panthers, Maple Dave's. Dave, no more dicken around. All right, I need these two points.

Let's go. You really need the double down? Aren't you still basking in the glow of the US of A and all the rest of it? You need more?

Yeah. Well, I think we've already established that the Panthers just winning, period, winning anything is infinitely more important to me than winning the gold. Like, whatever. All right? I know you guys frown at that, but the Panthers' success is so much more important to me. Yes. I don't know how to cover that up. I don't know how.

It's February, Mardi Gra month, and people go down to Mardi Gra, and they obsess about getting the beads, and then they get home with all their collection of beads. And four or eight days later, they look at it like, What the hell am I supposed to do with these beads? This is the equivalent of watching the Olympics and becoming obsessed by the need to see the gold. It's great. It's a great memory. You still would rather have the Stanley Cup. Stop jiving yourself.

That's right. If you put in front of me right now, the Team USA wins the gold medal, or, I got that, or the Panthers definitely make the playoffs, which is a major long shot right now. The Panthers make the playoffs and Barcov returns for the playoffs. You're not giving me any other guarantees other than that.

I'd rather the Penguins just make the playoffs. Absolutely right.

I want the playoffs and Barcov returns. I do.

I I'd like them to make the playoffs and win a payoff round is more important to me than the US of A win.

You guys are too calm to hate America. Okay, what else is next?

It's not about hate America.

It's what's more important. I care more about my club team. I do. I just do. I'm sorry. I got the great-No, you're not. You're right. I don't know why anyone would say that.

You're saying you're sorry.

No, you're not. I'm not sorry. You're not sorry. That's a good job by you, okay?

But we know that you're a dual citizen.

I'm not sorry at all, so I said.

Amen. In this room, we're truth-tellers.

Yeah, that's right.

No jive policy on this side of the glass today. I'm glad to see it, Zazzo. That's right.

Now, no one's calling anyone a JT.

A JT?

If you were a movie guy, you'd know the reference, but you're not a movie guy.

It's a jive turkey.

For him to explain it, that means you don't get the reference.

I got the J. I got worried that there was some anti-Semitism in the air.

You're a Jeremy Tajay?

What? Look at that. We have the- The ultimate. We have the Greatest American is back today. Mike Ryan.

Thank you. There he is. The Earth is 10,000 years old.

Greg Cody, he liked that when you were in Club 11 the other night, he appreciated you on the microphone given a Let's Go States.

Yeah, that was a great moment. See, you can be a lib and love America, too. We're taking it back, Jack.

So speaking of which, all right, you were at 11. All right, we already went over that.

I know where you're going with this. Where am I going? You're putting me in a bad spot here. I don't think I am.

This is not about you. Not only is it about you. But go ahead. What do you think I'm about to say?

Well, I think you're going to do a thing.

Can I hear? I don't think you're right.

Are you going to talk about the Pat Mac, if you think?

No. You sure? But we can if you'd like.

Damn it. I really walked into that one.

I wasn't even thinking about it, but now we're here.

Go on, go. Yeah, no. Look. All right.

Say it.

That was great of Pat to do. What do you do? That's not how you said earlier. Hold on. That's not how you said earlier.

Let's set it up. So we're at 11. Don't you do that to me.

I'm just saying. Don't you do that to me.

I love this. I have no intention of going in this direction.

We're talking about someone that can be sensitive sometimes, so let's be careful.

Guys, let's set it up. We're at 11, right? Everyone's there, the team's there. And then the video board, Pat McAfee shows up on the video board in a pre-tape message. He says, Hey, guys-We'll do a show anywhere. Congratulations for bringing the goal. He does a lot of Pat McAfee things. What did A. J.

Hawk say?

A. J.

Not pictured. Not pictured in front of the wall of books with no titles.

Now, did the DJ stop the music and everyone quiet down?

Absolutely. This was the ISO for him, and he does the whole thing, and then he says, Because of that, all the drinks are on me and everybody goes crazy. That's exciting. Then he says, Play the Hellebuck song, right? Which was a pretty good song. I liked it.

Yeah, it was a cool song. But here's the thing. Anytime the Panthers go there. Anytime anyone celebrates, 11 goes to the degree of paying for their tab.

Because that keeps them coming back.

Yes, because Eleven, look, Indiana celebrated their national title there.

I understand business.

Look, they It's not going to pick anywhere in the nation. New York gets snowed out. They decide they're going to celebrate their title where the champions celebrate their titles down at 11. It's synonymous with Championship celebration, so it's a great investment for them. They were going to pay for the tab anyways. But credit to Pat McAfee for stepping up and being like, I'll pay for their tab anyways, and it doesn't have to be on 11. But I don't know if he knew that going into it. Also, the event was advertised as an open bar.

It just was. For the patrons as well?

Yeah, it was an open bar event. I didn't pay for a single drink. It's not because Pat McAfee paid for the drink. It's because that was always the intention. But it's a really smart move on his part.

He pulled the ultimate. We've all been there. You walk into an open bar event, you've got your friends with you. Guys, what are you getting? It's on me.

Yeah. I paid for people's drinks, too.

See how easy? Okay. Did McAfee know this, or does he say, I want to pay for their drinks, and the guy at 11 says, That's tremendous. We can do that. We'll take your 150,000. Yeah, right. No. That's an important part.

I got out to 11 if that's the case.

I know very little about it.

That guy understands business, too.

I don't know if 100% that message was conveyed to Pat in all fairness.

It's an important detail, right?

It was, but going I feel like somewhere along the way, it's like, You know they comp these tabs for these guys, right? You don't have to do this. But he put together an entire video message and the crowd popped, and everyone thinks that the drinks were on Pat McAfee, and that's great for the brand. They were, right? The brand is strong. They were. If he paid for it, they were actually on him. It was everyone there also. The big tip. To be fair, the message was also hard to hear inside of 11: 02, but I left with the impression that, thanks to Pat McAfee, we can all have this ranger here together. It was advertised as an open bar of that.

Guys, now I just thought about it, and we're doofuses. We should have done it. We should have done that shit. We should have done it. We should have done that shit. You had the mic, Mike. You could have gone on the mic.

Guys, But we don't love America.

Courtesy of DLS. All drinks are on us. Everyone would have loved us.

That would have been amazing.

Team USA would have declined if Dan Lebitard offered to buy the drinks.

That's why I say DLS. A lot of people don't know what that is. No, we don't have the juice.

Why would we have the juice? We don't have the juice, and we're not as pro-American as Pat McAfee, and Pat McAfee has earned that right.

No, we're more pro-American.

What do you estimate that bill would have come in at?

I saw that it came in at 150,000.

Is that the four-tip? 150,000? That's where they pay.

Magnum bottles at 11? Yeah, they drank a lot.

Dave, they had sparklers and also signs, too.

That cost- What a racket. $150,000?

By the way, they actually got cheap for that celebration.

I would have thought it would have been more.

Yeah, I would have thought it would have been way more.

Especially since it's open bar for everybody, even though some people paid $800 to get in, $800 to get in.

So it was free in the morning to sign up and have entry. And then as the day went on, it went from free to a couple of hundred bucks. Why? Because they know business. For these nightclub things, you got to get in early because it went from $0 to $800.

So they just started at zero because they want to make sure they're going to get a crowd. And then when they know they're going to get a crowd, they start charging.

Yeah, because it's a Monday night. You don't know how much would the US Olympic men's hockey team draw on a Monday night because it's- It's cold also.

A cold Monday night. I've learned this over my lifetime. The weather impacts attendance greatly. People don't want to go outside when the weather is bad. If it's not a good weather night, you're like, Man, let's drop it down to zero. I don't know if anyone's going to show up. But then when you see how many people are lining up outside, you're like, Jack it up.

This Pat McAfee The conversation begs the question, When you donate to a charity, do you do it anonymously, or do you put your name?

Yeah, right. Better put my name in bold and bright lights anonymously. I know. I'm talking about. I know. Let's say my name twice.

I put my name every single time. It's not why I do it. I do it for the charity, but I want you to know I did it. I think there's an interesting... Before we move on to that, though, I'm curious, does the 11 ownership then have the uncomfortable It's a terrible conversation. They've already declared everything is on the house, right? And then Pat McAfee says, No, I want to pay for it. So do they say, I know we already said it's on us, but if you want to write a check, Pat, does Has 11 cashed a check at this point from Pat McAfee?

I don't know how it went about, but I think the intention was, Hey, Team USA, you're not going to spend a single dollar because you're our boys. But what ended up happening was, Hey, 11, you're not going to spend a single on Team USA. Don't worry, I got it. That's how it actually played out. But Pat McAfee is a master of branding. And yes, seriously, it's a very smart move. It helps his brand even further.

Pat, let me beat you to the punch right now. Yes, we're jealous that we didn't think of it first. Absolutely. We should have thought of it first. We're dumbasses.

Yeah, well, it was born out of like, Hey, Mike, why are you taking the mic? Why are you making this about yourself? Just buy drinks like Pat McAfee. I'm like, Wait a second.

Well, how did that happen?

Dj Genesis was in the- Shout out to Genesis, man. Yeah, you know him as a huge panther guy.

He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He's a fraud. He doesn't know movies.

In a DJ for the Florida Panthers. He doesn't know DJ Genesis. He was shouting out all of us. He's like, Hey, Mike, come in the booth. Speak some Spanish. I was like, All right. That's my favorite thing. I got one thing that'll kill.

I do wonder, when McAfee's on the phone and he says, I want to pay for it, and however the transaction goes down, where they tell him, Yes, you could pay for it. Do you think it's like, All right, I'm ready for your credit card number? Is he reading all the digits on the phone.

No, it's not a card. You get a cashier's check.

Exploration date. What's a CVV code? And just McAfee reading the numbers.

I heard it percolating during the day. I did not speak to anybody close to Pat, but I know that it was percolating. I'm like, Hey, does Pat know that this is covered? I did try to make sure that Pat didn't have to spend money that he didn't actually have to.

Okay, now let's get to the juicy- It is a Larry David episode, though, right?

Does 11 actually cash the check after they've already made the offer to do it themselves.

Now, let's get to the juicy part of the conversation. Mike Ryan, do you believe that Pat McAfee knew in advance the tab was already covered? He's not stupid. He's been to 11. He knows about Club 11.

I don't know. I don't know. I honestly don't know. But if the intention were to make sure that Team USA wasn't going to pay for their drinks, I think that part was already covered, but it was really smart of Pat McAfee to do. All respect to Pat. I do not want the smoke. I'm just providing clarity because someone attacked me for making this about myself.

I want the smoke. I want the smoke. Where's my camera? Pat, I know you knew, but guess what? I'm not even mad at you. I'm mad at myself because I should have thought of that, or one of us should have thought about it. So again, you are a smart, smart man.

Would you have been prepared to actually pay the 150,000?

Absolutely not. Or I would have just gone, Dan, we need 150,000. That would be it.

You should clap it up for Pat one time.

I do know, for the record, that Pat McAfee, he does these things that are publicly large, but I do know that he also, on the down low, does some really nice things for people that get no attention. Is it on the down? I don't feel like it's- No, he does. No, I do know it, and I know for fact that because it wasn't made public on that show, that it was just pure a graceful deed that he did for a fellow Pittsburgh. Clap it up one more time for Pat McAgrish. I don't want to say anything more about it.

I also know all that money that he spends on college game day is legit his. Everyone assumes that it's coming from a production budget, but he does pay that.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule.

Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else.

We're in clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold.

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

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Yeah.

Okay. Stugatz. You think you're big time?

Or you're going to die.

Big Tom.

That is on my infamous scale of 1-10. That's a 7. 6.

Solid. Good job, Dan. Good job, Dan.

That's a silly nominate right there. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

One more time for Pat McAvill.

You know what? With what Dave just said about that, that Pat McAfee, he knows he does stuff on the down low. And even Chris bringing up when you donate charity or GoFundMe accounts or whatever, do you do anonymous? Or you put your name. For me, I obviously put my name big bold letters. I want everybody to know.

The Jewish tradition is that you don't do that.

Yeah. Sometimes you got to break out tradition.

Jewish tradition is not to eat ham sandwichs. Right.

Then I learned- This guy loves ham. Ham tastes good. Ribs. The point- Tony embarrassed himself.

What are you talking about? Well, you said beef ribs are better than- Have you ever had the monster beef rib?

Yes. I've had beef ribs in my lifetime. Okay, so what are you talking about?

What are you talking about? I like them. They're very good. They're not as good as baby back ribs. Come on, please continue. I'm sorry for that ugly interruption.

The point being, I'll never understand the whole, did he do charity? Did he do the good deed on the down low? Or did people know about it? Who gives a shit? You You still did the good thing, right? Hold on. You could tell everybody you did the good thing, or you cannot tell everybody, you still did the really good thing.

Hold on. I'll tell you what's wrong with that in general, not towards Pat McAfee. Again, give it a one more time.

Yeah, I'm saying in general.

But the problem in general is you get these people, these Instagram accounts, these Instagram influencers, where it's like, Hey, man, you look down on your look. Can I borrow a dollar? And there's a homeless guy. It's like, Well, this is my last dollar. But it's like, Hey, because you gave me that dollar, here's $10,000. And then it starts crying. Those videos are awesome. I hate those videos. It's exploitation at worst-I'm with a mean on this one. It's stage. At best, it's super exploitation. And I don't like it, man. It's this thing of like, Yo, I will help you out, but you got to help me out, in essence, by being this down on your luck person that I come rescue like some white night. It's terrible.

No, I think we know that that you're talking about right there. We know that that's not cool. That's not even necessarily what I'm talking about. But I am talking about what Dave is saying, where if you do the charity, but you tipped off the camera so they can catch you doing the charity. All right, but you still did the really good charity.

I agree with that. You can also rationalize it further by saying you're modeling behavior. If you're a public figure, you're showing people that this is a better way, a better society if everybody helps each other out a little bit.

For a lot of these people, it brings more attention and more money donations to their private foundation because a lot of these guys have foundations. They're not doing it all out of pocket. The exception, I think, is Shaq because I know Shaq a lot of stuff out of pocket, like crazy stuff.

He's just in line at like Best Buy. Mother needs to put the computer on layaway. He's like, I'll buy you a computer.

Walgreens. I've seen them be at Walgreens and in line for the pharma. Don't ask me why Shaq is going to a pharmacy and standing in line. He's done this. It's like- The greatest. I've got everyone's medication paid for. Everyone in line.

I I love that so much, not only because Shaq, there's never going to be another guy like him. He is just the greatest. But I feel like, and we'll never know this because I'm never going to have money like that, but I feel like- Don't catch yourself out. Thanks, man. I'm trying. I'm doing a lot of stuff right now.

He's a rising star in media.

I'm grinding. But I like to believe if I had that money, that I would do stuff like that. Don't most people feel that way?

Like Brewster's Millions is how you would live, in other I feel like if it didn't affect me- You don't know about Brewster's Millions.

I do know about Bruce's Million. You know what that Bruce's Million? You don't know anything about Bruce's Million. Yes, you don't know anything about Bruce's Million.

You know he's got to spend 30 million, right?

I know. He can't have anything. I understand. It was really hard because he didn't have enough time. It was a lot of money. The point being, I feel like If you had that money like Shaq, and it doesn't affect you when you buy the souped up van for the family with eight kids because you're doing a good deed and it doesn't affect your pocket, I feel like we would all do stuff like that. It's weird.

I'd like to believe. I don't want to get up on that bias, Zaz, because it's easy to do it in the hypothetical, but I'm 100% with you. Everybody thinks like, If I were a celebrity like Bill Murray, I would do what he does, go up and tap people on the shoulder. That's more vain. This is actually doing something for other people. I also shout out, though, a guy like Charlie Batch, the longtime backup quarterback of the Steelers and with the lines and all of that. Two days in a row, you mentioned him. That guy does not... He actually pushes away the cameras. People try to follow him around while he goes around and gives kids athletic equipment and everything else.

Is that a thing in Pittsburgh where it's like, Holy shit, that's Charlie Batch?

How many cameras is Charlie Batch pushing away?

I mean, when you're doing that around town and people want to show the good deeds, and he says, No, I don't want you to cover this because that's not what this is about, that is on a different level. But then, like we talked about yesterday, too, the most courageous thing you can do is go into children's hospitals and look those kids in the eyes and make them laugh.

Do you think the cameras ever come around Charlie Batch and are like, Heinz Ward, Heinz Ward. He's like, I'm not Heinz Ward. I'm just asking. What are you doing?

That's offensive, I mean. I'm offended.

You're offended.

Not by your T-shirt, though, friend. Stay on target. Stay on target.

There you go. He gets it. What's wrong? He doesn't get it because he's not a movie guy.

I can't see your shirt, man. You don't know what that is. Why are you accusing me of not knowing anything about movies?

You're not a movie guy. I'm just saying.

I'm a great movie guy. I can't see your shirt.

Movieshow on Fridays, Football America.

I'm looking forward to that.

I'm looking forward to that.

I'm looking forward to that.

I like how we're promoting it, even though it hasn't been taped yet.

Cool. We know it's going to be good.

I could bail out last minute.

Yeah, that's a gamble. What you just did there, Dave. That's a gamble.

You can't give away who the guests are until you got the guests on the boat.

Before all the waving of the flag moves on for another three years and 11 months, or I guess we have the summer game upcoming in a couple of years. Either way, where does the American flag rank for you among all flags? Number one.

Number one. How do you take from me? What is that supposed to be? Mars, bars, a cover figure.

Why don't even give an opinion? I ask you where it's coming from. But it's a commy take. There you go.

100%. You're going to tell me some other place is better.

Pittsburgh flag. I rank it 18th.

No, he's right about this because you would probably openly admit that the national anthem as a song, as a tune is not as good as the Canadian Anthem.

Canada and France is better, too.

But the US flag, great flag. Right at the top. Is it your best? Is it number one?

Yeah, very good flag. You think so? Yeah.

Well, I can't think of every country flag in my head right now. You don't need to.

You just need to know ours.

That's the number one. I think it's the best.

I can name any flag.

What does that mean? You can name any flag.

Put a flag up. I know exactly what flag it is. Do it.

Oh, we may have to do this. That's a good test. We may have to do that. I'm really good at flags. You're going to get got by the British Empire.

That's the one. The New Zealand, Australia. They're very confused. That's the one that gets me every single time. You just said you knew all of them. I know all of them except for those ones.

We may have to do this. Now, before Mike Ryan thought that I was going in a direction that I wasn't going in, I was going to ask you, are we going to be upset if Matthew Kachuk doesn't play tonight? That's the direction I was going in. No.

I mean, he was at the elbow room yesterday. Let him celebrate a little bit. Let him rest his legs. Give him a night off.

What the hell, man?

Give him a night off. Reinhardt and Marshan, those are the questions.

Well, he's had the last few nights off.

He did not have the last few nights off. He went to the State of the Union, and yesterday, he was at elbow room. Give him a clean day off.

You're cool with him because he's hung over? It's okay with you, in other words, too hung over to play.

You deserve it. Wow. Thank you for what you did.

You deserve the day off. Can't question your commitment to the US of A ever again.

No one should.

Damn right. Would you feel the same way if it wasn't two times Stanley Cup champion, Matthew Kachuk we're talking about?

Fascinating question.

I think he's earned a lot here. I think he's earned a lot.

Well, that answers my question.

Over the last three years, this guy has given everything to this franchise. He brought the franchise their only Stanley Cup final victory with a broken sternum after returning courageously against the Vegas Golden Nights. He was the single most impactful acquisition in the history of South Florida sports, a market that actually acquired LeBron James. He turned the franchise around completely. It was the single biggest acquisition in South Florida sports history and great American. Look how long we've been trying to win that. He's a part of a golden American generation, and he is, for better or worse, the face of US men's hockey.

Obviously, I know the answer to this, but really, look at the man in the mirror and answer him honestly, Mike Ryan. Matthew Kachuk is Canadian. That's the only thing we're changing. Well, two things we're changing. He also scores the game-winning goal for Canada. Is a good question. A few days ago, are you now also cool with him taking a couple of days off.

Shame on you. What do you mean for trying to trap me? Another commy take from Dave.

Why is that a commy take?

Is that a commy nothing? Guys, I completely understand. If Ryan Hart doesn't play today, Brad Marshan play today. I mean, Sam Bennett, he can take the day off, too. I know it's the Maple leaves. I get it. They're probably not going to give you their best effort anyways.

The wildest would have been. I mean, obviously, I root for a different team. I root for a team that wears black and gold. And had Sydney Crosby played in that gold medal game, win or lose, and then it's announced, Yeah, he's out for the next four weeks. I mean, I'm not going to get on 87 for the same reasons times 10, versus your Matthew Kachuk in his two years in Florida Panthers. Whatever the hell. I mean, not comparable to what Sydney Crosby has done.

Not comparable. The guy has been playing the last game of the season for three consecutive years. Put some respect on it. Listen, I- Did Sydney Crosby play the last game of the season for three consecutive years?

I'm not looking to get bogged down with you on a career achievement- Did Sydney Crosby play the last- Side by side of Matthew Kachuk.

You were trying to pooh-pooh the last three seasons of Matthew Kuchuk.

I'm not pooh-poohing any of it. I said it's not comparable to one of the three best human beings to ever play the sport. Settle down with Matthew Kuchuk, but you make the point. See, the grace that you show him is owed to the fact that he delivered for your favorite sports town. That makes it a little more tolerable, right?

Dan Levatard. To us, residents.

Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.

It's better. You think I haven't been practicing? Stugatz.

I didn't realize we had a substitute Complicated Legacy. Brought to you by headquarters, Toyota.

441 Power Line Road. Second down of nine. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Amin, we're going to give this a try. What country's flag are we showing on the video screen right now?

Brunei.

Get the hell out of here. Is that right? It is right. Get the hell out of here. Where do you want them to go?

Stay on target. Give me more.

We will. Give me more.

Okay, I want to give you another one right now. What does this flag represent? Which country? Amin claims that he will get all the-Wait a second.

Wait a second.

What is he scrolling on his computer for?

I'm not scrolling on my computer.

Well, even if he does scroll- What is he doing?

Yes, he is. Look at It tells me to smile. It tells the tale.

I'm not typing anything. You're scrolling. I'm not just- Just look at the screen and say what it is.

Do you want me to be a good teammate? Or do you want me to say what's on the screen?

Is that Djibouti?

Yes, but now I'm suspicious.

Oh, now you're suspicious?

Okay. What else we got?

All right, here's another one. Just stare at the screen. Stop looking at your phone or your computer. Just stare at the screen. My phone's right here. Okay, stare at the screen.

You don't know this one?

Costa Rica.

There you go.

All right, it's three for three.

Do you know the state flags, the US state flags as well?

We'll do more.

Man, there's some good ones. State flags are harder. Arizona has got a great flag.

Arizona is very good. The controversial one that I like a lot is Maryland.

Maryland?

Maryland's a good one.

It's got the checkers on it, right?

It's on everything. Everything they do out of Maryland has the checker flag. Underarmors got a million checker flags. You would embrace it, too. It's a great flag.

I liked a lot of people disliked my fellow The drip drill pal, Mike Ryan, how say you on the Maryland helmets that were half black and gold on the one side and the other half were red and white.

I love the swing. I loved them, too. Take the hack. I'm good with it. You got a great state flag. Or Chicago, it's often confused for the Illinois state flag. Chicago's got its own flag, and that's a banger.

Chicago's flag is great. That Chicago flag is great.

White, red, powder blue?

Look, I I think Chicago people think way too much of their city. I don't like Chicago as a city. I don't have fun there, whatever. But that flag, that flag is tough. It's an amazing flag. That's a tough flag.

You don't love Chicago socially?

I don't like Chicago socially.

Summertime Shy?

Been there. There's no such thing.

What do you mean there's no such thing? Been there. Famously, I went there 12 straight years.

I love Summertime Shy. Everything is couched, at least with Mike Ryan around, by whether or not it's patriotic and his pal Tony, too. There's nothing more all-American than spending a June, Saturday at one o'clock with your pals sitting in the in the bleachers or otherwise in Wrigley field. Tommy's right about that one. He is. That's where it's at. You can't... That is one of those places.

You ever made a beer steak in the bleachers? I went there for the fourth of July for the Nascar street race. Nothing more American. Telling you. You ever done that? My penis made an eagle sound.

I'll tell you, I'll do you one better. I was once at Wrigley Field on July fourth, and you can still find video evidence of this being true. Dante Bichette was the right fielder for the Colorado Rockies that day, and my pals and I had had many, and we had some of them plastic shades with us. One of us, my friend Vandy, he threw the purple ones that he had down on the field to Dante Bachet. Here's some shades for you, Dante. And in the middle of the game, Dante Bachet picks up the glasses and he replaces his flip-down ones for an outfielder with the purple ones, and he starts walking around the outfield like he's drunk or blind. We're going crazy. We're like, You're getting paid millions of dollars, man. Turn around, pay attention. You're going to get in trouble. But now all bets are off because now it's okay for Matthew Kchuck to miss games entirely because he's hung over from three days. That's a great story, brother.

When did you become a commie?

He burned a flag right after that story.

Oh, and then we were on SportsCenter singing Yankee Doodle Dandy to Dante Bichette. You're a Yankee Doodle Andy. Oh, it was one of countless memories.

I didn't know that was a Soviet national anthem.

The Combine is going on right now in Indianapolis. Combine. Did you see this yesterday? Ruben Bain, he spoke with the media. Ruben Bane got a lot of attention yesterday, not just because he's awesome, but Ruben Bane got attention because people noticed, wow, your hair is looking a little bit unkept. You You didn't do up your hair for all the media, the TV, all of that. I got to tell you something, if I'm an NFL team, I am drafting Ruben Bane number one overall, because this dude is talking about how he doesn't care about any of that stuff because all he cares about is football. You don't get done up for your big media front and center appearance because all you care about is football. I'm drafting him number one.

I will say that this is a great move And I talked with one Mike McDonald before the Super Bowl about this very thing. What did I say? Mike... Yeah, different one. The one with the Seahawks, he just declared him. I keep forgetting. One of the great teams of all time, which they are not. But okay. I asked him because I think this is a great consideration for the quarterbacks and the head coaches and otherwise. What message do you want to send to the world on Super Sunday, the biggest day of your professional life? Do you go clean-shaven? Like, I want to look my best, my Sunday best. Or do you want to send the message, I got better shit to worry about than my appearance. I am all bald today.

That's what I feel like Ruben Bain did yesterday.

I think for the combine, though, Because it is a job interview. It depends. For Ruben Bane, absolutely. That's the guy they're looking for. Remember, they say dress the part that you want to have, right? But if you're a quarterback, you got to go in there clean, cut.

That's a good point.

Because you got to present I'm going to be the leader.

But Ruben Bane needs to present that he's just an animal.

I'm an animal. And all I want is to eat, sleep, and shit football. That's what that looks like right there.

I loved it.

Last part is painful, but he doesn't care.

I will take this guy number one.

I'm so sorry that they came up just short against the Indiana Hoosier. No reason to hang your head, though. You guys had a great season at the U. Are you rooting for Carson Beck? What is his... Do you have any rooting interest at this point, or has he served his purpose in your life? And how about Ruben Bane, and how about anybody else associated with the U this year?

So I'm actually rooting for Ruben to land with the Titans, because that would be awesome. Then I'm just full bore Titans guy.

What picks they have?

They're top five, I think.

You've made an intellectual decision here. There's some overlap between emotion, the routing interest, and an intellectual choice you're trying to convince the rest of yourself to believe.

Times are number four overall. Everyone can remember the great pickle of 2025, where the Browns were potentially in position to draft Cam Ward.

Would you have been back on board?

I said yes. I would have been. I would have been. But that didn't happen.

You know Mike Ryan is a lifelong Browns fan.

Everyone knows the great pickle of 2025.

He's a regular on Football America, friend.

All right.

I'm just trying to- Everyone knows the great pickle of 2025. But it came and went. I don't have to be a Browns fan.

My movie theater sells pickles.

I enjoy- How much they charge? That I don't have to- It's 2.

99, dog.

But it's also- It's a good deal. It's a little phony that you're trying to embrace a Tennessee-based pro football team. Me? It's all about... Yeah. Shut up. You're all about- You're embracing Canada.

You call him because he's embracing Tennessee?

You know what? Mike Ryan, that's right, bitten by my own snake. I rooted for Canada because of Sydney Crosby. You're rooting for Tennessee Because Cam Ward went to the EU.

Much like Matthew K'Chuck, Cam Ward turned this program around.

Dave, it's very much a Miami Hurricane fan thing where they will root for the team in the NFL that the player that they love is on.

Honestly, I'm not as jazzed up for the NFL as I used to be. I think that's because the Canes are a little bit better. But now we're starting to see these guys get drafted high in the first round. I'm like, Wow, this takes me back to the turn of the century where everybody making an impactful play on the game of the week was a Miami hurricane. So we're getting back to it. But Carson Beck does not have the same juice. Now, I think that Carson Beck will actually land with the Cleveland Browns because Todd Monk and their head coach was actually hugely impactful in getting Carson Beck to Miami and getting Miami staff to buy in on the idea of having Carson Beck as their quarterback. I think Carson Beck actually ends up in Cleveland.

As what? The emergency? I mean, as the tax See?

Well, I mean, they obviously have a Pro Bowl quarterback already as QB1 and Shadora Sanders. But to keep them honest, to improve that room, to have a guy that is knowledgeable of Todd Malkin's offense, I think would be beneficial. But no, I wouldn't become a Cleveland Browns fan if merely Carson Beck went to the Cleveland Browns. I'd be rooting for Carson Beck. Now, if they got Carson Beck and Ruben Bain, that's a horse of a different color. We may be talking about the great people of 2026.

And just to make sure we have our ducks in a row, your allegiance to the Browns is owed to Bernie Cossar?

No, my grandma, my Abuelita.

Dollar Store.

Yeah, Dollar Store. Dollar Store and highly a bunch of random stuff went over there. And every time she would make me a biset in Panizado, all the paper plates were Cleveland Brown stuff. One day, they were playing the Dolphins, and I believe Dan Marino's knee got bent back 90 degrees the other way during that game. But I was still like, Oh, man, orange helmet.

That's how it goes. Guys, what are we talking about here? Carson Beck is going to be doing ESPN College football analysis in two years. The Brock Osweiler role? Come on, man.

I think he's going to have a long career in the NFL, maybe not as a starter, but he is a really smart quarterback, and I think people just hate his face and don't want to give him that. I I'm not saying Miami actually turned the corner when he decided, Hey, let me make the audibles on the field. Let me get the ball out of my hands. Let me give it to Fletch. People don't understand how smart of a quarterback Carson Beck is because of the interceptions, too.

I'm the opposite there, though, with Ward and Beck. Obviously, Kam is a much better quarterback than Carson Beck. But I think my memories are going to be so much more fond of Carson Beck because of the moments that we had leading up to the national champion.

Kam had some incredible moments, though. Look, maybe we'd have a conversation if Carson Beck's last act wasn't an interception to Indiana. Thank you very much, Roy Bellamy. If Carson Beck actually wins that, then you look back on his run in the playoffs. Not only do Still running. Carson Beck with his legs. But you have a drive for your life with Carson Beck at the center of it.

The reason you can announce right now that I'm more a Kam Ward guy than I am a Carson Beck guy is that you have two eyes and you know that Kam Ward's future is brighter than Carson Beck. It's not about anything they did at the U.

And Carson, well, you're front running in advance of either one of them taking a lead. Kim was unbelievable. I was at the Berkeley game. Kim Ward is just a ridiculous player. He's a great player to have as a Miami hurricane.

Amin, how about this flag? Got one more for you. You believe you can get all the flags right. What is that one? Which country does that represent? Look at the screen. Do not look at your phone.

Okay, I'm looking at the screen. I'm looking at the screen.

That is Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. It is the country that he made up.

That's why I didn't know.