Transcript of Hour 2: Zaslow Gets Cucked By Billy Crystal (feat. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries)

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff. Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style has got to match the vibe. All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission. Merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Aleyla May. Smyrnaf. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Aleyla May's one of one game day jacket. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January '21, and it's all courtesy of what brand? Smyrnaf. That's right, Chris. Fans, 21 and over, can head to Smyrnaf Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnaf vodka, number 21, at your local retailer.

Smyrnaf. Please drink responsibly. Smyrnaf. Number 21 Vodka distilled from green, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. Us resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12: 15, 2025 at 12: 00 AM Eastern and ends 1: 23, 2026 at 11: 59, 59: 00 PM Eastern. See official rules at program website.

Made in Germany. Mehr Infos auf unserbestes. Perzil. De.

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

Hakeem Jeffreys was going to join us here, and then there was a bunch of scampering, and I saw an American flag whisked in the wind as people ran in and out of a room because things are happening in the country slightly larger than the Knicks winning the Cup. We will get Hakeem Jeffrey's here, hopefully in a second. But before we do that, a number of things here that we have not gotten to, including the Boost Mobile boldest take that I will say has been inconsistent. That's the greatest praise I will give it. It's a broken record. It has been inconsistent. Look, that's the highest praise I'm giving the Boost Mobile boldest take.

Please stop introducing it this way.

305-486. Gotts is the telephone number. I want the audience to get better at these calls.

But we all disagree with you. We think they've been just fine. Yes. Damn right. Damn near good, I'd say.

Yeah, this is great. A great segment and a great partner, Boost.

It's the Boost Mobile boldest take, and it's presented by Boost Mobile, the newest 5G network in the country.

Bronson Which is just an excuse to drink alcohol with your eggs.

Dazla looks like a skeleton wrapped in masking tape. John Cina is working with a hair system, right?

Let me get fake Joe Zegaki going on a levitar grand about Notre Dame not making the CFP.

They Notre Dane. More like Notre Dane.

Every time Tony says, I got a guy, I picture Eugenio Suarez from the Seattle Marins. Hippolyx versus Convicts.

More like Hippocrite versus Convicts.

I think the reason Mike Ryan wanted Miami into the playoffs over Notre Dane is because Miami won the head-to-head matchup over Notre Dane.

Jonathan Zaslow looks like the guy who got skateboarding at 13, tore his ham string, and never rode again, only to be found at the local park every weekend, tapping up the youngens, reliving the good old days. Jared Goff looks like the adult version of the kid in your neighborhood who always had a Kool-Aid mustache and would snitch on you every time to his mom. And his mom is Jackie McMullen. Hakeem Jeffries was sitting through that, listening to that, wondering what the hell this show is all about. What else is he doing? They're very busy trying to lead our country. He's been proudly representing New York's eighth Congressional district since 2013. So I believe last night is his greatest sports moment in all of New York time, correct? Look at him smiling. Are you busy planning the parade?

Well, that would definitely be my greatest New York, Knicks, sports moment of all time. I'm a long-suffering Nix fan. I'm also a Yankee fan. I'm a Jets fan, so that's a disaster. But I'm also a Yankees fan, so I did get four or five World Series in during my life That's how it went.

But while in office, if the Yankees, the Yankees won while he said-09. 2013, 2000- No, not since- Yeah, while in the United States Congress, they have not won. Okay, I just wanted to get that on the record. I wanted that part. You're right. Yes, but the Knicks last night won, and I'm curious what that experience is like for you. Were you watching?

Yeah, I was able to see it down the stretch, pretty much locked into the game with about 10 minutes left. It was a great game. It was a competitive game. First of all, one of my reactions was, whoa, we actually have a bench that is playing now. It's a foreign experience based on what we've seen over the last four or five years. So it was great to see Kotec and Clarkson, and of course, Mitchell Robinson, do his thing. I think he had 10 offensive rebounds in like 20 minutes.

That was a shot at Thibodeau. That was a shot at Thibodeau, wasn't it? It was. Not using his.

I'll say that Thibodeau did bring us back, right? So with We're thankful for that. And he had a great run. But there was an open question as to why are we only playing five, six people down the stretch? Same thing happens at the end of the season. They burn out, they get injured, and we get overwhelmed. So it's interesting. The Mike Brown experiment, so far, so good.

Yeah. So Dan Leventhal is only 30 years old, so he thinks that Jalen Brunson is the most beloved nick of his lifetime. Hakeem, who is the most beloved nick to the Nick's fan base?

Listen, I I think Bernard King always has a special place in my heart. But if I were to go top five next during my lifetime, I never really saw Walt Clyde, Frazier, play. Of course, experienced him as an announcement, but he brought us two champions Championship, so he's got to be right at the top of the list. Earl Monroe, of course, the Pearl, the original Pearl, was great and was wonderful. I think he was part of that second Championship. Bernard King did his thing. I think Larry Bird at some point called him Superman or something like Superman. When Larry Bird says that type of complimentary thing about a nick or any player, Bernard King, of course, from Brooklyn, was great. But Jalen Brunston clearly has emerged as the type of player who's both skilled and he's got that New York grit that the fans have-I want him to rank them, though.

I want you to pick number one. If I pin you down and say, you're 55 years old. The most beloved nick of your lifetime is blank.

Bernard King.

It's a good choice.

Do you want them to put up a banner for the in-season tournament?

No, I don't think we should put up a banner. I don't want to go that far. But this was a strong step in the right direction. One name that I did omit, but I omitted him for a reason. I think Patrick Ewing was a great nick, clearly top five of all time. The Reilly Nicks, the Van Gundy Nicks, the run that they were on was amazing. I was a St. John's fan and then had to convert to a Patrick Ewing fan when he came and was drafted by the Knicks. I think there was a mix relationship that the Knicks fans had with Patrick Ewing during those years. I think post Patrick Ewing leaving, there's been a greater appreciation for just how tremendous a player he was. So I think he, of course, is at the top of the list as well. But maybe it's because Bernard King's career was cut short, that there's just a lot of affection for the time that we had seeing Bernard King be an amazing scorer, an amazing player. And of course, he's from New York.

Well, that's the thing that you're throwing in there. So that's how it's- Well, that's the thing that you're throwing in there. So complicated because I do believe Jalen Brunson is the most beloved nick I've seen, and it's at least in part because he won more than Bernard King. He promises to win more. Bernard King would score on everybody, but you never thought they actually had a championship chance.

Yeah, I think that's about right. But I think if Jalen Brunson can actually deliver a championship to the Knicks, which I think they have a good shot at, they clearly, I think, are favorites to win the East. I mean, Detroit may be too young. It'll be an epic battle to see us play them. But if he delivers a championship, he may be one of the most beloved players in New York modern sports history, because we all know the city has a love affair with the Knicks. There's nothing better in the city than when the Knicks are good and on a run.

We'll get to the real world in a second, but I heard you have some thoughts on Notre Dame not getting in and Miami getting in instead.

Yeah. Well, my thing is I understand the choice that was made because of the head-to-head dynamics, but I think the ACC messed up, you all, because who could really understand a math The competition can't understand that tiebreaker for the second seed. It was crazy. How Duke winds up in the ACC Championship, seemed to me, as a casual observer, to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately jam Notre Dame. Because if you just had a simple tiebreaker for the second entry into the ACC Championship, the highest ranked team, then it would have been Miami. And then either one of two things would have happened. Either Virginia would have won, and I was rooting for Virginia, but Virginia would have won, and they would have represented the ACC, and we wouldn't have had a second school necessarily make it in from, I guess it's called the group of five. Or Miami would have won, and you wouldn't have had a second school from the group of five. Miami would have still made it, and Notre Dame would have been able to make it. So I think something needs to be done as it relates to how the ACC is making a determination with the monstrous number of teams that it has.

So this is going to happen again, this traffic jam that occurred. Just let the ACC change their rules so that you have the best two teams, the highest ranked two teams in the Championship.

Well, you'll be happy to know. They've heard the criticism, and they changed it, and their solution is some teams play eight conference games, another group plays nine, and we'll see what happens.

Yeah, I don't know how that's going to work out.

Hey, everyone. It's Jeremy here. Happy holidays. And I know that during the holiday season, my personal favorite part is getting to spend time with family, spend time with friends, reminiscing over years past of the holidays that we spent together before. But in my case, there have been some years I haven't been able to be around, mostly because of work. I'm lucky to live near my family. But I know for some of you, that might not be the case. And if there's distance between you or even if it is a work conflict, you don't have to feel disconnected from your family during the holidays. And a great way to stay connected is one800flowers. Com because they make it easy to bridge miles, to bridge distance, to bridge time with gifts that just say, I'm thinking of you. So that the people who have always made your Christmases magical still feel close even when they're far away. As I recently ordered the Peppermint Rose Bouquet for my wife. It was gorgeous, super vibrant, looked freshly picked, and it instantly brought this burst of holiday cheer into our household. It was really wonderful. It made her really happy.

Beat the holiday rush and save up to 40% off Christmas bestsellers at 1800flowers. Com/dan. That's 1800flowers. Com/dan for up to 40% off Christmas bestsellers.

It's a holiday season and the 50th anniversary of Miller Miller Light. The holiday is all about spending time with friends and family. Why don't you sit back and toast a few Miller lights? Make your holiday time Tizz Miller Time. And with the 50th anniversary of Miller Light, you get to remember and reflect on all the good times that you had with your trusty buddy by your side, Miller Light. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color. And at 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you down. The original light beer since 1975 and still hit in different 50 years later. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect.

Miller Light.

Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. You know what I'm going to be doing on Christmas Day, and it's going to be watching Marty Supreme because I didn't even need to know that critics were calling Marty Supreme a full throttle masterpiece and the best movie of the year. I already knew that was going to be the case. From A24 and starring Timothée Chalamet, alongside powerhouse cast Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa Ozian, and Tyler O'Koma, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, only in theaters.

Don Levatard.

I'm just here to say one thing. The Knicks are back.

Stugatz.

Tivies Hallebrand, six points, fraud. Everybody was like, Yo, he's better than Jelen Preston. He's better. The Knicks should have dragged him.

Fraud. This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugats.

You've also had something to do with what you're calling the Lane Kiffin Protection Act. Have you not? You're getting your hands dirty with sports.

Yeah, well, listen, I think sports is such an important part of life, particularly during these complicated times where we're dealing with so many heavy issues, that to be able to have that escape for everybody, root for your team, whether it's the college that you went to, the college that's your hometown or, of course, the sports teams that we all fall in love with at a very early age and then continue to track. So even for us as members of Congress, we all have our team affiliations, and we lean into that. And it's a release, I think, for all of us who are working through these very challenging dynamics that we're faced with in this country right now. But the Lane Kiffin Protection Act, that was interesting to me. I'm thinking to myself, we got all of these issues that we're trying to deal with, including of course, extending the Affordable the Affordable Care Act tax credits so that tens of millions of Americans, and we're talking about people all across the country, rural America, urban America, suburban America, small town America, the heartland of America. We're talking about Republicans and Democrats and independents. This is not a partisan fight.

This is the patriotic thing for us to do, make sure health care is not ripped away from tens of millions of Americans. We have a clock ticking on the expiration of these tax credits the end of this month. And Mike Johnson, who I've had a forward-looking relationship with, communicative relationship with my counterpart, the speaker of the House, who just happens to be connected to LSU, the week after this whole Lane Kiffin debacle occurs, they bring the SCORE Act to the floor, and it's deeply flawed. The players unions all are opposed to it, led by the NFL Players Association. It doesn't necessarily provide college athletes with the type of compensation structure that I think many of us believe would be fair at this moment in time. It does nothing to rein in outlaw behavior by some of the college coaches that we've seen, but would constrain the ability of college athletes to really earn what they should be earning or negotiate safe, healthy working conditions as they're playing these major sports. And so I thought it was a fundamental mistake that they even brought this bill to the floor. And again, there was Democratic opposition and Republican opposition to it, which is why they ultimately pulled the plug.

True or false, Lane Kiffin loves that there's a protection act named after him.

I'm surprised I didn't get a thank you note from Lane Kiffin after I made that statement. But you know what's interesting? From time to time, legendary figures, including Coach Saban, have come up to the hill to talk about the need for Congress to step in and at least create one set of rules, one standard, so you don't have 50 states all doing different things. I support that. I think that makes total sense. But at the same period of time, it's got to be done in a way that is consistent with our values and doesn't allow a handful of major conferences or major seizure schools within those conferences to run over everyone else. And that was our problem. It's clear, look, we can't have a situation where things are left totally unregulated, and That leads to the Pony Express situation, which was out of control.

Leader Jeffrey, could you give us a blow by blow on what your day has been like? Because it's been a roller coaster. I see that you've secured 218 signatures to force a vote on the floor about Affordable Health Care Act tax credits. And then I just saw that there won't be a vote. And I'm once again looking at the news saying, how are they allowed to do this? Where are we now? Yeah.

So we launched what we call a discharge petition a few weeks ago that allows any individual member of Congress, there are 435 of us, to sign a petition that would force a vote on a particular piece of legislation, in this instance, a three-year straightforward extension of the Affordable Care Act tax credits so we can protect the health care of tens of millions of folks all across the country. We've got earlier today, 218 signatures, which was a big development. Now, that does force the speaker to bring the bill to the floor. However, under the rules, he has a total of seven legislative days to do it, which means that the earliest... This is our last week scheduled to be in session before the holiday recess, which means that there will be a vote, but the earliest that the vote can be under the rules would be in January, unless the speaker decides to bring it to the floor today or tomorrow, which he could do, but it appears, unfortunately, as of the moment, he will not.

Is there going to be another government shutdown? What are you predicting here?

Yeah. Well, listen, I think what's in front of us now is to try to extend the Affordable Affordable Care Act tax credits because we know they expire by the end of December 31. And listen, we have a broken health care system. There's a lot more that needs to be done to address it. This is the wealthiest country in the history of the world. Health care, in our view, access to high quality health care cannot simply be a privilege available only to the wealthy and the well-off. It should be a right that's available to everyday Americans and everyone. And we're going to continue to fight for that principle, generally and specifically as it relates to the extension of of the Care Act tax credits. Now, the government funding is scheduled to lapse on January 30th. And though that's just next month, that is a lifetime in Congress. And so I think that there's an opportunity for us to come together in a bipartisan way to find the common ground to an act of spending agreement that meets the needs of the American people and avoids a shutdown.

The President took to Truth Social and Kind of grease the rails for some military action against Venezuela. There's reports of a presidential address happening tomorrow. The President, in bizarre fashion, said Venezuela took land from the US. Outside of Dural, I'm not really sure what that could possibly be. What's going on here? Are we really going to go to a war that is meant as a diversion?

Yeah, I certainly hope not. And the American people, Democrats, Republicans, independents, do not support another foreign war. We got big problems in this country. The cost of living is out of control. And Donald Trump did promise that he was going to lower costs on day one. Of course, that hasn't happened. Costs haven't gone down. Costs are going up. Housing costs are out of control. Health care costs out of control. Grocery costs out of control. Out of control. Even electricity costs, utility bills right now skyrocketing out of control. There's a lot of things to be focused on in terms of making life better for working class Americans, middle class Americans, and everyday Americans. The last thing in the world that we need is another foreign war that inevitably ends in disaster.

What percentage of people call you Hakeem and what percentage call you leader? Because Chris Cody didn't really... It seemed awkward. It felt awkward to Chris Cody to hear Mike I can call you Leader Jeffrey's.

Yeah, it is an interesting title, but most people, listen, when I'm back at home, people call me Hakeem. For me, I've always interpreted it as a sign that I've been as effective as I can be in establishing a close relationship with the people that I'm privileged to serve. It's something that we continue to lean into. In the House, we view the institution based on what the framer is set forth as the institution closest to the American people. It's the reason why we have these two-year terms. We got to go back to the voters every two years to have our employment contract renewed because the framers of the Constitution wanted us to stay close to American people. And there are a variety of ways to do it, but the familiarity in terms of how constituents I'm privileged to serve, call me by my first name, is always something that I've embraced.

Thank you, Leader Jeffrey. We appreciate the time, sir. Thank you all. Applaus from Juju. Juju giving applause there. I was not expecting applause from the other room. Bernard King is a good answer. It is an excellent answer, is it not?

The World Cup is coming back to North America for the first time since 1994. 48 teams, these giant stadiums, the whole continent turning into one massive party I cannot wait. But actually getting tickets to any of this? Yeah, that part? Brutal. That's why the Game Time app has been a total lifesaver. It gives the advantage back to us, the fans. You can track price drops in real-time. Get alerts when seats opened up. Grab tickets the second they hit the app, all back by the game-time guarantee. I'm on the app looking at World Cup matches in Miami because you know I am not missing that. I'm scrolling through every section in the building, behind the goal, midfield, lower bowl, upper bowl, and the deals are good. I had great seats locked in within minutes. The experience is so simple and intuitive. Two tabs and I'm done. And the price, no surprises. Fees are included. The seat views are my favorite feature. And you'll get a full panoramic look before you buy. Take the guesswork out of buying soccer tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code Dan for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the GameTime app today.

Folks, listen up. You know my holiday pattern by now. Every single year, I tell myself, Listen, Chris, you're going to be thoughtful this year. You're going to get good gifts. You're not going to be lazy. You're not just going to get gift cards. And this year, guys, I have news. I pulled it off. No panic, no sad little card. You know what I gave? I gave an aura frame. Why is it so hard to find a personal gift these days? It's for the people I'm closest to, my parents, my wife, my in-laws, my kid, the most important people in my world. I have no idea what I'm supposed to get them as a gift. But one thing I know, people light up when they get photos. People love photos. So I loaded up my aura frame with all the moments I know they'll love, my daughter being adorable, random selfies, group pictures where none of us are looking in the same direction. I kept adding them because Aura lets you send unlimited photos and videos right from your phone anytime. And the best part, you can preload the thing before it even ships. So when it's open on Christmas morning, all the memories are already there.

I'm telling you guys, this is a great gift. And folks, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes. Com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat Frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code DLB. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

Holiday basketball is here. When stars like Kobe White, Jalen Williams, and Tyler Hero start cooking, Drab King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is where you want to be. Don't forget, DraftKings has your back with early exit. If your player goes down in the first half, you still get paid in cash. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code Dan. That's code Dan. New customers can bet five bucks and get $200 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

Gambleing problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. In New York, call 877-8 Hope & Y or text Hope & Y 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, pass through a per-wager tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng. Co/audio. Limited time offer. Don Levatard.

You got to know I'm a big Columbo guy. Salute to that boy.

Okay, I don't think that's proof. I don't think that's proof. I think that could be a lie. I don't think that- He said, Salute. I don't think that is evidence. Salute to that boy. It suggests camouflage. It suggests that Juju has no idea what we're talking about, and now he's just googling it. Stugatz.

I'm not googling it. My grandmama stayed in the country. I watched the Braves. I watched Columbo, I watched Matlock, I watched Andy Griffin. Sluke to you, sir, but you go to the pin of the box, damn. You tell him Juju. You tell him Juju. Call me a liar.

You tell him Juju. Back to you, Stu. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I wanted to get to something that Zazlo told before the show here. I don't understand this rash of strange dreams he's having. Two days ago, he dreamt that he was co-hosting a show with Yannis. Look at Amin getting engaged.

Now we want to do dream talk.

Amin, look at how I'm engaged. Amin gets I mean, the dream. He has a lot of dreams that are weird as well. But you've got another weird one. The first one was two days ago. You woke up, you were hosting a radio show with Yannis Antetokounmpo. You were not sure why he was so weak on football. You had to cover for him as your co-host. He was only strong on basketball. What was your dream? I mean, you had not heard that that was Zazlo's dream? Yes, that was just... Of all the dreams I thought that Zaz would have involving Yannis, him doing a show with Yannis where he was here and Yannis was in Milwaukee and they were just doing ESPN radio was not what I had on the list. What was your dream last night?

I have very vivid dreams. I remember them. Sometimes you'll have Did you ever have a dream of me where you wake up finally in the morning and you're in a bad mood because of the dream? Yes. Yeah. So that happened to me today. All right? I woke up in a... I was anxious and I was sad. In my heart, I was sad because my dream last night, my wife was... I'm not going to say she was cheating on me. What? She was openly having an affair. All right?

I think that's cheating.

No, no.

That is cheating on you.

No, but I say it like that because she was doing it right in front of me. I feel like cheating is behind your back.

Something you're into it.

Like your cuck?

Well, I was a cuckold, all right? I was. I didn't appreciate being... People know one thing about me-In the same room cuckled?

Yeah. People-in the corner?

If there's one thing people know about me- Like the cuck chair? That's right. If there's one thing people know about me, they know I don't ever want to be a cuckold. All right? And I was a cuckold last night. She was having an affair in front of me. Now, I left the room before I think started happening. What? But she was doing... No, because I wasn't into it. I didn't like it. Out of respect. Fisticuffs. I didn't like it, all right? It was very upsetting to me. Wait. I'll be back.

Wait. Yeah, exactly.

I'll kindly leave. I'll give you your privacy.

I don't have I'm not going to take this.

Yes, but I was sad. It was making me very, very upset. I ended up waking up very upset. You're mad at her? Well, no, not mad. I was sad. How do you do this to me? I told her this morning when I woke up. I don't ever tell her my dreams because why? Who the hell cares? But I had to tell her this morning because I'm in a sad mood, so I had to tell her about it. She giggled a little bit. Then she asked me, who was she having an affair with? Was it an actual person?

That was my question.

She was intrigued.

This part here, I was very embarrassed to tell her because it just- Wait, wait, wait.

Before you say it, Guys, let's go around the room. Now everyone nominate who would think Zaz's wife- I was thinking Yannis Antetokunpo.

Same. Me, too.

I got to be in John Cina.

Tim Reynolds.

You'll never guess it. It's so not even worth going around the room.

Stan Van Gundi.

Kendall Gill from the Nets.

I'm embarrassed to tell her. I go, No, I can't tell you. You won't even believe it. It doesn't even make any sense. So now she's really intrigued. Now she's excited. She's laughing. I'm like, It's so stupid. I can't even tell you. I'm embarrassed to say it. Anderson Cooper.

Tom Barroso.

She's making me tell her. Finally, I'm just like, F I'll just tell her Billy Crystal.

What? An 80-year-old Billy Crystal.

You got cucked by Billy Crystal?

I'm not leaving that room. I'm staying in there. I'm curious.

It was so stupid.

He starts doing show tunes in the middle of it.

Honestly, you had laid out one of the few situations where I might be cool with it.

I'd be like, Fist me, Billy.

I was a cuckled with Billy Crystal.

Fist me? That is the appropriate response there. If you don't have any context for what it is that Mike I was doing. Zazel, I have a number of follow-up questions.

Who else is in the club?

You're in the room. What is it? Is it your bedroom?

It was a bedroom that had two different beds. I was in one bed. I like your style. I have a sex bed and a sleep bed. They were in the other bed. Before I left the room, I took the sheets. I'm like, I'm not staying in this room. I went to another room.

So many questions.

Two single beds or two- I don't know.

I got a messqueez.

Two two master beds because that's how Billy Crystal does it.

Two master beds or two single beds?

I think they were definitely bigger than single.

Like a queen, I'd say. Yeah.

Okay, but you don't recognize the room? I don't. Are they dressed?

Are they dressed? I was not looking. I didn't like it. They were in the bed.

Okay, so Billy Crystal's in the bed. Is he wearing shoes, socks?

I wasn't looking. I was like, I don't like this.

Is he doing his Muhammad Ali impression?

Or Sammy Davis Jr.

Talking about Joe DiMaggio and the Yankees?

It was mostly She's just my wife. She was throwing in front of my face. She knows I don't ever want to be a cuckold.

She knows that? How does she know that?

You've told her that?

Well, I mean, she just knows. If there's one thing that people know about it.

It's the number one. Everyone knows. You got to cover all your bases.

It's usually implied.

Everyone knows that. If there's one thing that people know about Zazlo, it's that he doesn't want to be cuckled.

Don't make me a cuckled.

Top of the LinkedIn profile.

It's true. I was at NBA Cup and people were asking, How's Zazlo? He's fine. People always say it. Is he still not a cuckled? Apparently not.

You walk out of the room disgusted. I take the sheets.

Leaving is a wild move.

I took the sheets with me.

He doesn't want to be a cuckold. If he leaves, he's not a cuckold, right? If he leaves-He just said, Hey, stop that.

I felt bad. I was upset.

Hold on, Dan. You said if he leaves, he's not a cuckold. What if he has a glass to the door and he's eavesdropping? No. Does that make him a cuckold?

I didn't do that. I wasn't deriving any pleasure from it. I didn't like it.

The opposite. You're the opposite of a cuckold.

As people say.

When you shared that it was Billy Crystal, how did that land?

I mean, she howled. How else would I have? With pleasure? No, with laughter and how stupid I am. How stupid this dream is.

And then she changed her iPhone password.

My dream wasn't that wild.

Then someone said, I'll have what she's having.

I'll get to your dream in a second. Just out of curiosity, because I still have questions, is it Billy Crystal now at 80?

Yeah, she asked me that, too.

Yes. No, City's Lickers.

It was Billy Crystal today.

I had Forget Paris, Billy Crystal.

No, it was today.

Forget Paris, Billy Crystal could lift anybody's check.

Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal could, too.

No Mama From The Train. He had a run, didn't he? He had a run.

What was the movie he did with Gregory Hines? Can't remember. Buddy Cop movie? Buddy Cop movie? No, that was the first one, I thought. I thought that was the first one that he did. I'm sorry, Zazgo.

I didn't like it. I woke up, I was very upset this I'm sorry that all that happened to you.

I mean, you're usually our resident. Running scared. Thank you. Our resident leader in weird dreams. But Chris, you keep wanting to tell us about your weird dream.

Well, everyone's saying that they had weird dreams. The night before the highlight Championship last Friday, we played. The night before, I had a dream that Unda and I won a pickleball tournament. Unda is one of our great players. I was just like, this has to be a good thing.

You didn't have to explain it. Dan knows.

As a premonition?

I was like, morning of the Championship, winning a pickleball tournament, that can't be a bad thing.

I have to admit now, when I went backstage before the game, I looked into everybody's eyes, and it was a universal truth. I just knew we were going to be battle core champs. I just saw it in everybody's eyes. There's no way we're losing. I can see it.

Did you jump into Unda's arms? What was the nature of your celebration?

Kind of like the Championship, yes. I don't remember all of it. I just remember being on a pickleball court and him and I jumping in celebration.

Two great body types.

What a time.

Amine, do you feel left out here as Chris and Zazlo give us some of their weird dreams? Have you had any weird dreams recently?

I sure did. Just two nights ago, I had a dream that I was part of an ownership group for an NBA team, but the main owner, the majority owner, was an Eastern European MMA fighter, an older guy. And so we were sitting. I'm sitting on the right side of the bench, and his courtside seats are on the left side of the bench. And the opposing team throws the ball off of one of our guys. And so the refs say it's their ball. And the owner says, No, it's of them. And then he starts demanding that the team review it. It's a good owner. And he just keeps going and going. And I'm like, Jesus, no, but that's not... You got to let the guy do his job. And finally, the head coach He throws a challenge flag, whatever, and calls the time out. He's frustrated. And I could tell him, Man, I'm going to have a conversation with this guy because I got to let the owner know he can't do that. But in the moment, I was so embarrassed that I literally slunk away and went to the bathroom. And then, this is the part where the drink gets weird, I levitated.

I levitated in the bathroom. So once I got to the bathroom, I did not touch the bathroom floor. I flew about 8 feet high.

That's nice. Then your shoes don't get dirty, the laces don't touch your gants. It's awesome. Yes.

So in front of people, you were a coward, but when you got to the bathroom, You had the superpower of being able to levitate.

I can fly in my dreams. I have a lot of dreams where I'm just... It always starts the same way. It's like, what if I jumped and then I didn't land? That's the secret of flying.

Put it on the poll, please. Can you fly in your dreams? Because I cannot fly in my dreams. I believe you're also having the precursor to the dream that wakes everybody up, which is if you can't fly, then you wake up before you hit the ground. That's never happened.

I've heard that, yes, but that's I've had a falling dream.

I've had way more falling dreams than flying dreams.

Flying all the time, dude. Me too. Always levitating above people. What does that mean? It's always about eight feet high, too. It's not in the sky like a bird. It's just high enough where I'm not going to hit anyone's head. I get up there. But low enough where people could... If they ran and jumped, they could touch my feet.

Tristan shaking her head because you're thinking to yourself, that's unusual that Amine would have... We're in agreement that levitating in your dreams is a little strange, especially in this circumstance. It seems as well that the owner, you gave him an accent of some sort.

Absolutely. He was Eastern European. Eastern European MMA fighter.

It feels like a front office PTSD from your time in the NBA.

Absolutely. It's funny imagining me in the middle of the night, wake up out of sleep and getting to writing, This is what I was dreaming, and then I levitated. Okay, night, night. Well, you got to write it down, dude. Otherwise, you're going to forget.

I mean, if you wake up in the middle of the night, can you then reenter the dream when you fall back asleep?

It can happen.

Because I could do that.

I've done it before. You can go back to the dream?

Yeah, I could do that.

I try to lock in like inception.

In my experience, when you try to do it, you don't do it. No, I could do it. I've reentered dreams before, but it's a rare thing.

That's a power of mine. I could do that.

How much waking up are you doing? Are you just opening your eyes or are you going to the bathroom, coming back and catching your eyes?

Just open my eyes, rolling over.

Yeah, now that, for sure, I do. But the getting up and going to the bathroom and coming back, very rarely. I have a reconnected dream.

I didn't know anybody. Can you put that on the poll at Levitard Show? Can you go back to your dream after you have woken? But this is good dream analysis from Trista here. She's saying you have post-front office trauma that as soon as you get away where the power and the responsibility is if you could soar freely in the bathroom, you levitate. That if unshackled from front office, yellers and screamers, all of a sudden a free amine is in the bathroom floating eight feet above the Earth.

I think it actually just because I levitate a lot in my dreams, I think it's actually just that because I levitate a lot in my dreams, I think it's like the worst cameo. It just makes an appearance in every dream. The dream is about the post-traumatic stress disorder reaction of having to explain to people why the guy in charge is an idiot, and we got to work around it. That absolutely is a recurring nightmare. But then it's like, also, and also featuring, I mean, flying. It's like, Hey, guys, remember me? What's funny about this as just a career analysis of the insides of your strange mind is that you care so much and obsess so much over loving a basketball, and your nightmares are a bunch of people at Phoenix or in your actual sleep coming in and getting in the way of you truly being able to be Dan, this is the funniest part. You want to talk about me caring about basketball? I did not mention this the other day. I went to Jason Jackson's annual Christmas charity thing, Santa Jacks. Jay Jacks, if you're nasty. Exactly, right? It was a lovely event, and it raised a lot of money.

Caraoke? There was karaoke afterwards, yes. But the main event where all the people show up, and the people, I mean, luminaries from the local sports teams or whatever. I got into a very deep conversation several times over with several different people who worked for where I became emotional talking about basketball. Emotional, like lump in my throat emotional.

I'm unsurprised by that because just when... And it's actually quite quaint that when you get most excited about basketball. You were starting to talk about 10 toes to the floor. You were saying it was the shock of your life. You were not speaking with any perspective because you had come back from Vegas and your sport feeling alive again to you when a lot of people have been criticizing it for a couple of years, including Mike Ryan, who hasn't necessarily even been watching. Then you come in here and you get emotionally defensive, protecting your sport. I think you care about it unreasonably.

What makes it unreasonable?

I think it's very reasonable. We just detailed his background. He likes it. It's very reasonable to have a deep passion for it. Anybody that has a passion about anything can identify with that.

To dream about it and then levitate is reasonable?

That's a different... That's a different thing. That's a different thing. That's a different thing. That's a different thing. That's a cameo appearance.

It's a recurring character.

Could there be a correlation between going to sleep hammered and levitating?

How often do you go to sleep hammered? I would have to go to sleep not hammered in order to find out.

We don't have enough data points.

It's a love of alcohol, not basketball.

The flying part is.

I go with the end day.

Any of you fly in your dreams? I don't.

I always run fast like the Hulk.

I can run real fast and hop, and then I'm falling every time I hop. I was good. I've had I'm falling all of a sudden, and I'm like, I better wake up because this is not going to end well.

That sounds clumsy.

I don't have a common thread. Every dream is a new adventure. Really?

Yeah. You don't have reruns? No repeats. Dude, when I was eight years old, I had the same dream every night, and it always ended with me flying. It was a witch was trying to boil me, and I was tied up in the corner, and then I wriggled free, and then I would literally get out of there and fly, and I'd land at school. I'm like, Oh, this is great. I know how to get home from here. I had that dream a hundred times when I was like, eat.

You levitate so much in your dreams that while you're levitating in your dream, you're totally unsurprised by it because you're like, This is what I always do. It's who I am.

Not only am I not surprised, sometimes, dad, I'm like, Holy shit, maybe this one isn't the dream. Maybe it's finally happening. It's been a premonition this whole time because sometimes they feel... You know, dreams sometimes feel very real and very visceral. I know.

I would like this morning for me.

And so all of these very real, very plausible things are What's happening to you? They're like, Oh, my God. Okay, this is real. And then I'm flying. I'm like, Wait a second. I can't fly. Or maybe I can because this isn't a dream. This is reality. And then I wake up and, Eh.

This is delusion of grandeur at its greatest scale that Amin, in his heart of hearts, in his soul, believes that he should be capable of levitating.

Try hard enough. Well, you got to jump and then not land.

But symbolically, I believe, given that it's a dream about what he literally cares about the most, it's what he thinks he could do if ran a franchise. He could be Oklahoma City. He could be, yes, he could be floating above Earth with the best team if it just wasn't for that damn Eastern European owner who, for some reason, threw a challenge flag from a different sport. You must challenge.

You must challenge is all of them. He just kept yelling, and he's huge because he's a former MMA fighter. So it's like there's a double fear. It's not just he's rich and he could fire us. He could also whip all our asses.

But he was also dumb, correct?

Yes, of course.

But he's incompetent and you're better at your job than he is, and he's holding you back.

I felt for the coach. The coach was so frustrated, pissed off, and I'm like, I'll handle it. Don't worry. And then I went to the bathroom.

Who is the coach that you felt the worst for in your career? In real life?

Yeah. Wow, that's a great question. I don't know if we have enough time. Speaking of dreams and crying and emotion about basketball, I did have that moment as well when Alicia gray from the Atlanta Dream won the three-point contest in the skills contest.

I shedded one.

There you have it. What's the verb?

Shedded. I think it's a ghetto. Geto?

Woman of faith.