Transcript of "Timothy Olyphant"

Morning, Will. Good morning. In through the nose, out through the mouth. That's it. In through the nose and out through the mouth.

God, your hands are getting really low here.

No, no, no. Just keep the eyes closed.

Is this normal?

Settle into your sitz bones.

Okay. All right.

And feel the spine stacking and the neck rolling.

You don't need to feel my spine. Wait a second. Yeah, what is this?

This is a little bit of tension right there, huh?

All right, let's get to an all-new Spartacus.

Spartacus. Less smart. Less smart. Less. What were you—

what kind of student were both you two? Hi, I'm Jason.

Um, oh, hi Jason.

Uh, were you guys both smarties? I don't think so. I'm gonna make a guess here. B's, solid B's.

In college, it was really bad for me because I would always copy. And so my eyes hurt because my face would be forward, but my eyes would be looking really hard down to the left.

Right.

At like a little computer watch?

No, at the guy next to me, whoever was on either side.

Really? Right. You were a habitual cheater.

Totally.

And was he hip to it? Was he kind of like giving you a side wink and showing it to you?

No, no. One of those big lecture halls. I'd be like, my eyes would be like this and they hurt so bad.

But how did you trust that they knew the answer?

Do you know what I mean? Because any guess was better than mine.

Better than your brain, right?

Yeah.

I was just talking about this recently. I didn't cheat in high school or anything like that.

No, I didn't in high school. Not in high school.

No. I'd be willing to do poorly. I had moments where I was okay and I just didn't.

Have you ever cheated in anything, Will?

No, I've never really stolen anything. I've never really You know, one time, this is a true story, the only sort of really vivid memory I have of that is when I was a kid, when a bag of chips was still $0.25, and it was like a crowded thing at the convenience store after school, and there were a bunch of kids in there. I was probably 11, maybe 10. And I was like, "Fuck it," and I had to catch a thing, so I just took the chips. And I felt so guilty overnight. I went in the next day and I put a quarter on the counter at the store.

Oh, Willie, bless you. Willie, our Nat. Willie, our Nat.

I know, I know. It ate away at me.

I couldn't, like, I was like, "Oh, I can't." Have you ever done anything that would justify you getting arrested that you've gotten away with?

No, I was arrested.

You don't have to tell me. You can just say, yes, I did get away with a couple of things I could have been arrested for had I been caught.

No, no.

Like, I was arrested for that turkey sandwich.

Yeah, a turkey sandwich.

I told you I stole a turkey sandwich in college. I was really drunk and the cops arrested me. I told you that.

I don't remember.

I don't know if I've ever heard a more on-brand arrest story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, because— and the turkey sandwich was definitely on white bread with mayo only.

Of course. Yeah, it was wrapped, you know, it was like at a 7-Eleven or what we call a White Hen. It was called White Hen.

Yeah, sure.

And I was with my friends. I was so hungry and I didn't have any money, so I just stole the turkey sandwich. I was really drunk. We were eating out in front and the cop just stands right in front of me. He's like, hey, buddy, you're coming with me. And I was like, for a turkey sandwich? And he put me in the back and I was riding in the back and I was cuffed.

Did he cuff you?

Uh, I don't remember. Probably. And, um, I was—

you probably asked for— you said, wait a second, you're not going to cuff me?

Yeah, yeah.

You're like, use these, and you produce your own cuffs.

I'm pretty sure I need nipple clamps.

Um, and I think you have to— you have to cuff yourself to me.

I put the lights on and the siren.

I know my rights. My rights are you need to cuff me. I just start yelling. Yeah, no, I was— it was for a turkey sandwich. And he took me to the station and I had to sit there until somebody I didn't know gave me $100 to get out.

I mean, what?

And it's a long story. That's a crazy story.

You got mystery mail.

Crazy waste of resources, though, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Crazy waste of resources.

That's what I was saying in the backseat. I mean, I— it's horrible that I said this.

Run in your mouth. Horrible.

Yeah. I was running my mouth because I was drunk. I was running my mouth and I said, Isn't there somebody— isn't there a worse crime happening on campus right now? Like, is there somebody getting, like, sexual harassment or something?

The next go-to is, "I— my taxes pay your salary." Yeah, that's how— all right, there come the cops.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then the cops— I'm pretty sure you're supposed to pin me down on the floor, like hogtie.

I think we're supposed to turn the light— lights should be a little bit lower, don't you think? Shouldn't we have a glass of wine? Where are we? What's going on?

What about how I sent Shawnee— I cut and pasted the top 10 vanilla ice creams out there. And, you know, number one is Häagen-Dazs.

Of course, it's always the best one.

So good. Although we like McConnell's.

Yeah, that's true. McConnell's. I think McConnell's was on the list. Do they still make rum raisin?

Probably. Why do you want some?

I just haven't had rum raisin in so long.

Well, it's got raisins in it. Why would you want— Ice cream with raisins in it and rum.

Now, what do they do about the rum there? Do they somehow take the alcohol out of the rum?

No, no, they're putting 100-proof rum in the fucking ice cream and selling it to kids.

Well, but I really want to know, how do they get the rum flavor?

And there's still cocaine in Coca-Cola.

And the kids are like, hey, can I get another scoop?

All right. I'm sorry, surprise guest.

I know. The guest— No, no, no. I like that we said, you know, we had a great segment before about being justified because this guy is justified in a lot of stuff that he does. I will say, he is a multi-Emmy-nominated actor. He has a crazy diverse list of film and TV credits that are just insane. Comedies, dramas, Recently, most recently, I think that everybody was delighted to see him in FX's highly anticipated series Alien, the Alien: Earth franchise.

Oh my God.

That's that Noah Hawley vehicle.

He's also— that Noah Hawley vehicle. He was also in Apple TV show last year, Stick, which has got a second season coming up soon. We're gonna be able to see him in, with a crazy cast with Anya Taylor-Joy and Annette Bening and a bunch of people in this new Apple TV crime thriller series, Lucky.

Who is this tasty guest?

He's a guy who, you know, and the reason I say he's justified, because he was also Emmy nominated for the show, uh, the show he starred in called Justified. You know him also from Deadwood. You guys, it's the wonderful, and I'm so excited, Timothy Olyphant.

Oh my God.

Hi, buddy.

Oh, hello, gentlemen.

You're in a day.

Dude, dude, I— listen, I was on the set of Justified with— and I was working with Eric Roberts, and he's driving and I'm sitting shotgun. And I say— There was all those ND cops around in the scene. And we're supposed to pull out in the shot. And right before we rolled, I said, "I give you $20, you just hit one of these, bump one of these cops." And he goes, "I hit a cop once. Not a good idea." And I was like—

Oh, jeez.

I was like, "Wait, sorry, sir. With your vehicle?" He goes, "No, I hit him. I hit him." Oh, my God. And he said— It was a bad idea. They had me on the ground so fast. And then from then on, I was just Eric the cop hitter Roberts. Couldn't catch a break. And I say to him, I ask him, "How many times you been arrested?" And he said something like in the double digits. And, but then he qualified it because he said half of those were before he turned 18. And I wasn't sure how to take that. But—

Wow.

I was taking— and then he looks at me and goes, "Have you ever been arrested?" And I said, "No." And he goes, "Pussy." Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I told him I was at swim practice, you know what I mean?

It happened to me once.

Oh, I love Jason's story. It's so good.

Full pussy style.

It involves Monaco.

Yeah, I was arrested in Monaco for being drunk and disorderly in a nice little leopard outfit, fresh from the casinos, all banged up on— You know, cheap champagne and a pocket full of chips. Yeah, just got rocked.

That's the name of his biography.

Um, good. Hey, but Sean, it sounds like we found a hack for you. Uh, if you ever do want the hogtie, you just gotta punch, punch the cop in the face.

I just wrote it down. I just wrote that.

You got it.

Yeah, note to self.

That's why— listen, I'm here for you. That's why, that's why I brought you guys.

Well, first, it's so nice to see you. I've seen all of Alien Earth. You're amazing in everything. But I just—

very kind.

Will said that.

I love that show.

You're amazing. In it.

Did you see Sean's face? I knew the moment I said that, and he's like, oh my God.

Yeah, such a good show. It's coming back, no?

Hey, cool it, man.

Yeah, we start shooting in a little bit. Yeah, thank you.

You sound excited about it.

You know what, here's— tell me you guys aren't the same. We shot the first season in Thailand or something, right? In Thailand. We were in Bangkok.

Oh wow.

And it was just a magical experience.

What? But I heard, I heard it was a nightmare. I mean, there's a lot of tough conditions there. I, I know people.

Don't put them on the spot.

Go ahead. Oh, there's nothing better than listening to actors bitch. Come on, it's the name of my book, but don't be afraid to bitch, and other tips for young actors.

Well, that's so hot.

Look at this, this group here, you know what they call it? Like a murder of crows and you're like a flock of seagulls. You got a little complaint of actors.

Yeah, it doesn't have the air conditioning of the Warner Brothers lot down there.

Listen, I'm I'm with you. I'm getting to my bitch. Bitching, which is— When we were there, it was quite magical. It's hot, but it was a magical, crazy, amazing place. And the more you're there, the more you know it, the more you like it. And at the same time, you're like, "I hope I don't have to come back." So for season 2, they say, "We're not—" We were like, "We don't want— Please don't go back." And they said, "No, we're not gonna go back. We're gonna go to either London or Budapest." And no offense to— But I was like, "Oh, please, London. London." Right? London. And then you get the call from your agent that says, "Hey, good news." Season 2, London. And I was like, "God damn, can't shoot in LA?" I mean— Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes that quick. That quick. It's like, "Fuck, I gotta leave.

I gotta..." Now, but you— So, right. So what is that? What's your process of thought, like getting comfortable with that? Like, we are vagabonds, right? Like, you start the process very quickly. Okay, I'm gonna be spending— 5 months in a foreign land, in a hotel or rent a place, whatever. It's like you immediately start thinking about, you know, logistics. Do you have a wife and children that you're going to have to figure out how to take or whatever? Your whole life at home is all upended. Start to bitch about that for me.

The wife and children.

Yeah, well, you'd start there, but just getting uprooted.

35 years of marriage this summer. Oh, that's great. That's 7 really good ones. Um, so, uh, we're at— well, right now we're empty nesters. Yeah. Okay, you guys are not? None of—

no, I'm half empty.

Jason's half. I'm a— I got one more year until my first one goes to college.

Yeah, so they don't— they just leave you. So just so you know, like, if I did it again, I wouldn't have gotten so close.

Yeah, that's just— that's serious. I've talked about it before. I think I tried to pick fights with my older one.

Yeah, just so it wouldn't hurt so bad.

Does she— Oh, your oldest?

Yeah, she's 19, but she ended up going to school in town, so it didn't hurt quite as bad. Oh.

Did she just become, like, weeks before leaving, just like, "Who is this fucking devil that's taken over my child?" Right. Yeah.

Well, no, she had a lot of, you know, as they do at that age, they spend a lot of time outside the house. So it's not— As somebody smart once said, you're not losing your 10-year-old. You know, like their wings are flapping well before they— Yeah.

And she's a particularly good kid, I will say.

She's a really nice kid. She's a good kid. But there's a Tom Popas— I think it's him— has a joke that when your kids leave, nobody prepares you how hard it's going to be to pretend to be sad. But even the best kids, they tend to act up right before they leave, right? They tend to be like, they got to. Yeah, it's part of their emancipation. Yeah, it makes it easier to leave.

Yeah. So, so you're getting ready to, to go to London and you've got to like switch it all up. You got to kind of like start to prep. I'm, I'm about to do the same for 6 months to Atlanta and I'm like, all every day I think about how's that going to go, how's that going to—

Wait a second, hold on, breaking news here.

No, Will's got a big job. It's, it's super exciting.

But 6 months in Atlanta? Yeah. Well, how come I don't know about this yet?

Because you're not on my Call sheet. I'm looking at it right now.

Can't you just hit me with a memo or something?

But so, like, that— You know what that— We've done it before, so you know what that's like. It's hard. You're getting ready to go overseas. What's the hardest part for you?

It's always the transition, right? I don't know. You tell me. Once you're there, I feel like it's always lovely.

Yeah, it is, yes. But if you've got— Will's got kids back at home, so they're not gonna be able to be with you.

I forget. Yeah, I didn't— I was very fortunate. I got so lucky, I mean, partly by design and partly just because I failed at getting jobs. But I more or less got to work and live in LA for the majority of my kids'—

Was Justified in LA? Just— Dead—

I literally had Deadwood for 3 years and then Justified for, I think it was 6, and then we did this thing Santa Clarita Diet for a couple. Oh, yeah. Of course. They all shot here. In Santa Clarita, I'll bet. All in town. I basically lived— yeah, I thought I was in show business.

But even in town, aren't you like, "I can't wait to get home"?

Oh, yeah. By the way, even in town, you're like, "I gotta go to the Valley?" Yeah.

Right?

That's the real complaint. "Why can't I shoot at the Fox lot?" When my kids were small, it was great.

I'd just show up to work to take naps. So when my kids were really small, I was like, "Look, I just go to work so I can get some sleep." Yeah.

I know. We used to have an office. Jason would complain that I didn't want to go to my office, and then I had another office for my company, and I'd go there and I'd show up and see my partner, and I'd be like, "Hey, hang on a second." And I'd go in, shut the door, and I'd get on the couch and take a nap on my couch.

Oh, God.

Well— I know, because I'm tired. I know. I'm just tired, man. I know. You know, dude, I was— in my intro, I started going through your credits, and I was gonna say at the top, you have so many credits. You've done so much stuff of such variety. It's insane, man. I mean, you are like— You've just done— You're so unbelievably versatile. And when you started as an actor— Well, first, let's get— You were born in Hawaii, and then you were raised in California. Mm-hmm. But when you started, when you were first a young actor, did you have a particular lane you thought you wanted to go in? 'Cause you've eliminated the lanes. All the dotted lines evaporated for you a long time ago on whatever road you're on.

Well, you're very kind, first of all. And by the way, back at you, because I just saw, literally just a few nights ago, "Is This Thing On?" That's the title, right? Yeah. What a lovely, lovely performance. Oh, it was lovely.

Isn't he great?

Lived in and present, like you weren't— you know, that lovely thing where you're like, "This just must be what he's like," because, you know— and obviously your comedic work is off the charts, so it was so— He's got it all. He's got the range. My God. It was really just a lovely, lovely, beautiful, lived-in performance.

So— Sean wasn't terrible in it either. Look at Sean.

Sean was delightful.

My God. Which one were you? I was either Steven or Robert or something like that. Or Jeffrey. Or Jeffrey. I was one of those.

Now that I look at you, I'm like, "Yeah, you were there." You guys all have this, by the way.

You guys all have the crazy range. Sean, you're like, in Will Grace, you're doing physical comedy. Comedy at, like, the ultimate level of effortlessness. And then you're on stage doing, like, this incredible dramatic work.

Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Everybody's really good.

Jason, you also, you do the acting and you do the voiceover.

Oh, you are an actor. It's huge.

You are an actor. You go from both.

You are an actor. Right, right, right. Now that I see you again, I'm looking at you.

This is amazing.

I remember you from the ocean.

Everybody's really amazing. Right? So, but, but—

But it's sort of back to my question, and I don't know, I kind of— Actually, you know what I'm gonna say to all of you guys? But Timothy, I wanna hear from you first, 'cause I listen to these ding-dongs all the time. Did you, when you started, were you like— 'Cause I remember I moved to New York. I'll start. I wanted to be a dramatic actor. I thought, 'cause I didn't know any better. I didn't know anything about comedy or how you get to it, or it wasn't even— So I was like, "I wanna be a dramatic actor." Did you have that? Were you like, "I wanna be taken seriously. I wanna do important stuff." You know, the stuff that we as young men think. You don't think acting is Acting is comedy.

You think acting is drama. Yeah.

Right, right. Again, memory's not a reliable narrator here, but my favorite actors were actors who gave comedic dramatic performances. They were just— that's what I— You know, I always felt like De Niro knew he was being funny in those roles, even the most dramatic roles. He must have known, right? When he's doing Taxi Driver, he knows that's funny, right? Right, right, right, right.

Doesn't he? There's some moments, for sure. I wonder. I wonder.

That's a good question. He must. Right? I always— I just assume when he's doing that, you talking to me, he knows that that's comedic timing that's happening there, right? Yeah.

Well, did you see him in King of Comedy? Exactly, right?

Yeah.

I mean, it's just incredible, incredible acting performance.

So when he did comedy and some people were like, I don't know, wow, who knew he could do comedy? I was like, raised my hand. I was like, well, I think it was there from the beginning, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

You don't— I still, I feel like Will Ferrell—

Oh, yeah, Will, but like—

Will Ferrell's playing these eccentric characters that are funny because they're eccentric, but it takes great acting chops to be believably eccentric.

And I think this is the flip side, which is the best comedic performances are really dramatic.

I think the through line is always it's commitment, right? And so you're committed. We know, you know, as long as you're committed to the bit, whether it's dramatic or comedic, you have to be committed. Jason, to your thing, like you can never wink, which is why when you see people who are doing stuff when they're too aware, then you're like, okay, I don't buy it as much. But if somebody's committed to the thing, you recognize that as feeling authentic.

And then one of the funniest things I think is when people commit to being non-committal. You know, like when you do— like when you do really bad acting on purpose. That's one of the funniest. I love that. You know, when you see somebody doing bad acting—

Sing for real?

Yeah, like sing for real.

We'll be right back.

And now back to the show.

Timmy, do you know Sing for Real? No. This thing Thoreau came up with years ago, which is— it's so embarrassing. It makes you feel like if you're driving in the car with a friend or whatever, a song comes on the radio, and if you say to the other person, sing for real, they have to sing that song. And they can't do any— like, say it's like Satisfaction by the Stones. You can't do like I can't— like, you can't put anything on. You have to do it as real as possible.

Yeah. And it's really uncomfortable.

So uncomfortable. It's so uncomfortable.

It makes your skin crawl. Like, if I had— we did it in the documentary too, but I had Will do it in the car one time and I couldn't even look at him. It was so— I could.

It was horrible. Yeah. It's the worst feeling.

Like driving with your pants off. Yeah. And you're—

it's funny you said satisfaction because I don't think of that as being like singing it for real, but it is. No matter what, you really are saying like, this fucking man comes on the radio, you're right, and telling you how white your shirts can be, and he can't be a real man. Like, you're in it.

Yeah, sing for real satisfaction. Sing it totally real right now. No.

Yeah, don't make him do it. Do it. Me? Yeah, you have to do it. Go. He's not doing it. God, it's so rough.

It's so rough to do that.

See, 'cause you just thought about it.

You just thought about it. You're like, "I can't do it.

I can't do it." I'm looking at Will, and I'm thinking I have to do it based on that reaction. Anything not to do it— You can't. Give me some lyrics. I just know— Look, this is not singing, though. I don't know. Okay, I can't sing. Let's start there.

You can't do, like, a Mick Jagger impersonation? No, you can't.

You have to do it. You have to do it.

I can do— Don't you dare.

No, you can't. You have to sing it like you're recording it for real.

You have to do it. So I just was listening to this yesterday, and if I'm not mistaken, had I not said, when a man comes on the radio, tells me useless information— is the guy on the radio giving the useless information, or is he telling him how white his shirts can be? Come on, everybody. Who's telling him how white his shirts can be, and who's telling him useless information just to drive my imagination?

Yeah, it's the DJ. He's yelling at the DJ.

Imagination. Okay.

When I'm driving in my car and the man comes on the radio, tells me how white my shirts can be.

About some useless— what, what does he say there?

Goddamn it.

No, no, no, no, no, it's later. Hang on, hang on. Oh, you're right. Hang on. Here we go.

I just love— my favorite thing about this song, by the way, yeah, is that that he's— Mick at one point says, because he's on a losing streak, and I just love the idea that Mick is having a hard time with the, you know, like he was having a tough time and that guy was really getting under his skin because he was right. Yeah, let's be real. Listen, he wrote it. I'm convinced, as much as that guy sometimes seems like a—

that guy's never been on a losing streak.

I know, but it must have been a moment, buddy.

I think there's some vulnerability there. Those songs are too good. Right.

I always wonder about people who write love songs and stuff about heartbreak, and then I'm like, did they have this much heartbreak always? Or like, what are they drawing on? You know, I don't know. Anyway.

No one with a happy childhood ever went into show business, buddy. Was your family in the show business?

Higher? No, no.

Is your family in the show business?

Yeah. Where'd the acting bug come from?

How did that happen? When did that happen?

It just was late. It was a hunch. I mean, you know.

Just for you. Nobody else in the family.

I thought this would be good. If this doesn't work out, I got the ceramics to fall back on.

But where were you? Where were you geographically when you went, you woke up that morning and you had the hunch, you listened to the hunch, you went, "I'm gonna be an actor." All right.

I'll tell you, the chances of me keeping this short are slim, but here we go. I'm gonna try. Go ahead. One, I will say, that when I was a kid, I really had a whole idea, fantasy of being in, like, show business or in comedy. And when I'd say, "Oh, I wanna do that," like Steve Martin or something, my mom, God bless her, she would always say things like, "You don't wanna be like them. They're like, you know, they're like on drugs and divorced. You don't want that life." Mm-hmm. You know, "They're all divorced." By the way, cut to years later, I was like, you're divorced. What the fuck? Yeah. Grew up in Modesto. Are you on drugs? We are. We're in Modesto.

Oh, you grew up in Modesto.

And yeah, so I grew up in Modesto. And then I went to college in LA. I went to USC. I was a fine art major because I always drew as a kid. And when I found out that was a major, I was like, you know, I thought I was getting away with murder. Couldn't believe they let me do it. I didn't know that that was a thing.

Like you could draw? Yeah.

So you have a degree in drawing? They give you a degree for that?

Yeah. Yeah.

You have one? I went to— I got one like just— I finally got that a few years ago. So you didn't finish? But I did 4 years, but I didn't get my degree till, you know, just a little bit ago.

Ah. It's great. I need to hear more about that.

And USC actually gave me the honor.

Sounds like you bought it on the black market the way you're talking about it, by the way.

They, uh, I think it was like anything. It was like one of those COVID things. So I was like, you know what? And my kids were getting ready to get their degrees. And I was like, I gotta, I should, this is the time to do it. Um, it was either a strike or COVID. And I went back and finished up. You went back to USC? And then they gave me the honor to go at USC. Yeah. And worked with my, the same professor. It was a lovely experience. Wow. Uh, the great Ruth Weisberg, um, who was my professor when I was there, and she still teaches. That's wild. She and I got to do an independent study with her. It was wonderful. And then I got to go speak at the graduation ceremony for the fine art and all that, which I thought was hilarious, 'cause all those kids had accomplished in 4 years what took me like 32. And I was there to give them advice.

What were you thinking that fine art degree was going to afford you? Career-wise? Like, what do all these kids— what do you take that into? Like graphic design? And, and, and, well, because I've— because one of my daughters is— that, that's, that's her jam. She's really gifted as, as an artist. My eldest daughter, uh, is actually a student at SC right now. Um, she's loving it. Absolutely. Congratulations. Yeah, yeah, thank you. So should I encourage the, the 14-year-old to continue drawing? Um, were there, were there options explained to you there at the, uh, at the school?

First of all, of course you have— you got— of course you encouraged her to do what she loves doing.

Yeah, I'll beat it out of her if it's not lucrative. Goddamn it, I'll teach you. No, I guess she's going to become a coder and learn Mandarin.

Uh, you know, uh, yeah, what else are you gonna do, right? Keep going, honey. She's gonna code. So here's what I understand now. If, if kids who get like a Bachelor of Fine Arts They just still have so many different directions they can go. And they're thinking— and to some degree, I think they're very attractive in whatever workforce because they were kind of just thinking outside the box all the time and being creative. Once someone gets their master's, they're going to be like— they're going to be an artist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Sean, what's your degree in?

My degree is— I never graduated, but I got an honorary doctorate in music. Yeah. Oh, you never graduated? No. This is breaking news.

You've never— you, you have buried the lead on this for—

I went 4 years as well, and then I got an honor.

I didn't graduate high school, so you guys got me beat.

Yeah, right. It doesn't show. No one's ever said it doesn't show.

You know, it just starts drooling.

You're doing great. You are doing great.

But wait, so you get this— you get this degree from USC in fine arts and drawing, and you're like ready to start you know, drawing stuff or tagging bridges or doing something. And then you go, at the end of all of that, you go, "You know what?" So what, you're in LA and you're like, "I want to be an actor"?

Like, how did that— I do think I had a certain amount of conscious thinking that I was wanting to put off a midlife crisis, that I was like— Whoa. Yeah, I really did. I was like, I think my parents were split. And they were— my dad was going through his, his, his, and I just thought, "That doesn't look fun." And, you know, there's— you always, you know, "Oh, I always wanted to do this, but I never did it, so I became this." So I was considering going to get my master's in fine arts. It's really kind of what I wanted to do. You know, like when grandparents and stuff would ask you, "What are you going to do?" "Okay, you have that degree. What are you gonna do with it?" At first you're like, "I wanna be an artist," and that— you see the expression on their face, and then you start saying, "Or I could do commercial work. I could do—" You know, you talk about all the things you could do. But I really just wanted to be an artist, and, you know, I was like going to galleries and like, you know, in LA and museums, and Chris Burden and Baldessari, all these people were big inspirations.

But there was a bunch of things I always wanted to try that were on my mind. Like, I knew I always wanted to do stand-up. I always thought about it would be fun to be an actor. I thought, oh, it'd be great to be in a band. You know, things like that. And I thought I should try to cross all these off before moving forward.

Those all take a great deal of courage, though.

Well, what doesn't?

Well, yeah, well, I mean, certainly standing up in front of an audience all alone with a microphone is sort of the zenith of balls.

Yeah, I was thinking of that on your movie. I felt like they captured this thing that no one prepares you for when you do stand-up, which is the moment you step on, the silence that you're greeted by is just— Yeah, real quiet. It was terrible. It's so quiet. No one tells you it's gonna be that quiet before you say a word.

The level of— like, the healthy respect I had for stand-ups and what they do before was huge. And then the moment And it was just magnified the first time. I remember the first time going down at this Comedy Cellar, and I was doing it, I was getting introduced as my character, as Alex Novak. But I remember the first time going up there and trying to go up as a guy who had never done it before as well. I remember Bradley saying to me, "We're doing something different. Don't try to rely on tricks. You have to go up and do this as this dude who's never done it." And going up there and standing there. Fucking— you're like, you just feel like it's so quiet, and you feel like, "Oh my God, I'm about to fall off a cliff here." And it's just— it's the best and the worst at the same time. It's simultaneously just like the most terrifying. So, yeah, stand-ups, what they do is just like, "Fuck, man." Like, round up— Have you tried it?

Timothy, did you do it?

Yeah, I did it for a little while. Right around the corner from Comedy Cellar in New York was a place called Boston Comedy Club. Comedy Club, and I—

Oh yeah, of course. Oh, you did, huh?

Yeah, yeah, I did.

Do you still remember some of the jokes? I'll tell you some of mine.

Oh, Sean has a really famous first.

Sean's got a great opener.

Yeah, he asked me this.

He's told it before, but Timothy, just respond to this.

This relationship is like, hey Tim, sing for us. Hey Tim, tell us some jokes.

Yeah, perform for us, monkey. Once you, uh, once you whet the appetite, here we go.

My opening joke was, you know, they say ballet is one of the most difficult things to do. So I just say, don't do it. Oh, fuck.

And that's the joke, Timothy. So, I mean, that's it.

Never gets good.

No, never gets old or funny. By the way, Will, I appreciate you calling me Timothy, but you know, you can call me Tim.

Can I call you Tim? I didn't know if I could call you Tim.

Sean, you as well. Okay, great. Bateman?

Not so much. Yes, you're close. You're close.

Wait, do you guys know each other a little bit? Do you guys have—

Yes, we work together for a sketch. Uh, uh, not— Is this thing on? Uh, This Is Where I Leave You. Close, close, close in title.

And, uh, and you remember, because, you know, by the way, I'm at Tropicchio's office. That's where I am.

Oh, are you really?

Yeah, I needed a computer. I guess you can't do your show if you don't own a computer. Do you not own a computer? No, I don't, it turns out. Come on. I didn't realize that. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Fucking rad is that.

Let's start there.

I mean, I got like a, you know, I got a phone and I got a thing. That's all you gotta do. We're backing up, we're starting from here. I don't buy it.

You don't have— you, and you being an artist, you don't have an iPad with one of those little, one of those little stylus pens, pen thingies? That—

no, wait, with the pencil and the paper?

You don't have a Wacom?

The pencil and the paper? Baller. Wait, you really truly don't you have a computer? I don't. Well, I—

let me— because I, I think honesty is very important in this. Sure. Thanks for not lying. We went— I had a, uh, we went and got out an old desktop computer that we still have in the house and plugged it in and started it up, and they were all USB things, and I was like, I, I don't think I can— it won't— I need to get—

just for the purposes of doing the podcast, you tried for doing this?

Yeah, there's a lot of sacrifices that went into this, guys. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate— I'm I'm super honored. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm a big fan. I listen. I don't listen, but I read the transcripts. Sure, sure. The show's very good. Very, very good. Sure, sure. It's better in written form. The chemistry comes across in the print.

I remember getting a note from our producer saying, "We're gonna be producing transcripts for Tim Olyphant, and we're mailing them to him every day." Yeah.

But wait, but Tim, you've never been tempted to buy a laptop or a desktop just to see the— landscape out there, like all the different sites you can go visit to expose yourself to.

Jason goes on a lot of sites and exposes himself is what he's trying to say.

Hey gang, ever seen one of these? Hey gang!

Hey gang! Um, wait, wait, wait, this is so dope that you don't have a laptop. Jason has 100 laptops, they're all brand new. Yeah, just to look at baseball scores.

All these— all this talk about AI and stuff. Not curious to see what the fuss is about?

But you can do all that on the little phones.

I guess you can, but you're always spreading and spreading and clicking and spreading. Don't do your fingers like that. Stop doing that. Spreading and sliding. It's just like, uh-uh.

How about Chris Nolan doesn't even have a phone? It's— I'm like, oh my God. So jealous.

I know one or two people without a phone. It's the most exciting relationship. When you— if you know someone without a phone and you're like, all right, so we're meeting at like 7, you know, dinner at 7 tomorrow. And then on the way there you're like, this is— I, I'm so excited. It was like being in high school, just rolling the dice. They said they'd be here.

Remember, remember, we're old enough. Remember like being teenagers and being like, hey, so you'll run into people, you'll go, let's do something, and you had to go there. And then, and then you'd run into—

maybe they were there.

And maybe they were there and see them in the next place.

Where were you?

And the night would unfold. If you go out at night, the night would just kind of unfold the way it was going to unfold.

Well, what about directions? What about— Dre, remember when you used to have a map, a map book, the Thomas Guide, or even one of those fold-out maps, or just a sheet of paper with the list of directions? Are you going to turn left on such and such, then go a mile, then turn right on such and such?

You had to ask people for directions. You know what's embarrassing, embarrassing about having a friend without a phone as you're going to meet them. Let's say it's 7 o'clock, you're meeting them at dinner. You realize that we oftentimes are like, "Hey, on my way out the door, ETA 7:05." And then it's like parking, like you're literally giving the play-by-play on the way there. It's— when you don't have that option, you realize how embarrassing that is.

But you do. You do have a phone. I have a phone. Yeah, you do have a phone. All right.

How about this? I was talking about this the other day with people. How about when you have plans, even with somebody you do want to see, and they go, can't make it. And the relief of not having to go to something is so great. When somebody bails, they're like, hey, I can't make it. Because then you're like, oh, no problem. And you're thinking like, oh, God, I get to stay home.

Found time. Found time. It's money in the pocket.

Yeah. Finding a $20 in an old jacket.

Hello, friend. Hi. Hi. Wait, you know what?

I wanna say, talk about old friends and working together makes me think Justified, which was so good and you were so good and it was amazing. And over the— You said it was 5 years. I didn't realize it was 5. You did it with our old friend, certainly Sean and my old friend, Margo Martindale. Oh, Margo's great. Who I adore. She's the best.

Must be nice to have one of those, be one of those people that when When people say your name, everyone just goes, "Ugh." Oh, guess what? Guess what?

You're one of those people. I think you are. You're one of those people. You are. Sean's sword. No, it's true. It's true. It's really true. It's really true.

I think you are. Yeah, Margo Martindale, I mean, I will say, what an absolute, just a legend.

I haven't had the pleasure yet. Oh, dude. I'm a huge fan, though.

Yeah, you would love her. Yeah, she's just— I remember years ago, she did one of Krasinski's movies, and so she didn't know Jon. And he asked me to introduce him to her. And it ended up being really, really good. And so I said, "Hey, John Krasinski wants to call you, and can I give him your number?" And she was like, "Okay." And then she called me after, she goes, "Look, I told him I'm gonna do his fucking movie, so it better be fucking good, or else this is on you, 'cause you fucking forced me to do this." I was like, "Wait!" So good. You know, Margo, I mean, that's so on brand for her. And she ended up being wonderful, obviously. But she's the best.

Yeah. I had the pleasure of sitting next to her when she won an Emmy. And it was such a lovely moment. I remember it. I don't know why it pops in my head, 'cause all that is what I spent a year with, you know, that personality you were just talking about. And such a— like, whether the camera was rolling or not, you just felt like you were getting this authentic, connected, amazing, just— it was so easy. And then we were at the Emmys, And her category was before mine. So I just remember that when they were— I'm sitting next to her and they're announcing the names and all that. And then they say, "The winner is..." And when they said her name, she squeezed my hand like it could have bruised me. Like, the squeeze that happened. Yeah. It was the first time I kind of understood what the awards meant. You know, like, I was like, "Oh, that moment when that involuntarily, like, 'Oh my God.'" You know? And then it was so moving. Not much of a story, but it's just a moment that I remember sharing with her.

And then she forgot to thank you. Did she thank you when she got on stage?

She did. No, she did. She did. She was classy. She did.

We'll be right back.

And now back to the show.

But Timothy, you know, Tim, sorry.

No, no, no.

So familiar. T-Dog, T-Bone.

T-Dog. Did you— I remember that the other day, and I'm just remembering, I scrolled through my feed on Instagram. I saw a clip of you telling the story about Deadwood, about— it was so funny. Can you tell what happened again? It was like the worst Deadwood story or something. It was so funny. I mean, I don't want to give it away, and if you don't want to tell it, it's— you don't have to. But no, it's already on Instagram.

It's already—

I know, but it's so funny. It was so small.

Uh, well, you know, Milch stories. You guys know the, the Milch— you guys have heard the Milch stories over there?

We've heard some, heard some rumblings. But I bet you Tracy is not. No, Sean's sister, she's, she's not, she's not hip to the Hollywood stories.

David Milch, by the way, is— by the way, his book, have you read The Red Dog?

No. I don't read.

David Milch for Tracy created Deadwood, amongst other things.

Yeah. NYPD Blue, Hill Street Blues. Legend. Deadwood. And just a legend of a writer. And one of these guys who, like, you know, graduated first in his class at Yale, had a heroin addiction, you know, like a combination of brilliance and life. Um, experiences that often don't go together, you know. Um, and, uh, so almost every day on that set was these kind of stories. But we had, uh, was it the second season? There was— we had a storyline where, um, I'm married to my— which wasn't what really happened in real life, which is— my character was a real guy, Seth Bullock. But anyway, he was married to his brother's widow and was raising his brother's child as his own, kind of thing. So we had this whole— this kid, and like a lot— I think there was rumblings on set one day that there was some issue with the kid, either his reps or his mother, but David was really upset about something. And I was like, "I'm not gonna pay attention. I'm just doing my thing." All I know is that— By lunch, there was a knock on my trailer door, and I open, it's David, which is unusual.

And I said, "What's up?" And he says, "Uh, we're gonna kill the kid." And, uh— "We're just gonna kill him." This is the next minute, it's so good. Such classic showbiz moment that happened after that. He goes, uh— I said, "Really?" He said, "Yeah, we're gonna kill the kid." And this is the Joe Wilson part. He goes, "It's gonna be great for you. It's gonna be really— It's gonna be some really nice, some wonderful—" "There's more room for you." "And a great, great moment." "Some wonder moments, these amazing moments. He's gonna be trampled and killed, and you'll be on his bedside, talking to him as if you're his brother." and you're his brother, your brother, and wonderful. And it's gonna be good for the kid too.

And, uh, it'll free him up for other opportunities.

And yeah, we did, uh, the whole season was this epic story that, that art, that whatever happened that morning turned into the season. That's so amazing.

That's amazing.

JB, JB, as an actor who directs, or how cognizant are you of of understanding the process that they're going through when you're giving a note.

Yeah, I mean, it's all about— You're gonna get a worse performance if you leave that note session with the actor and the actor feels bad. You know? So, it's all people skills, right? You just gotta prop them up while you're telling them to be different.

Here's my— I did a movie with Larry Kasdan. Just a dream working with him. And he came up to me after, I think, more than one take. Yeah, it was a couple, 'cause he said to me, he said, "Tim, there's a joke there, but we wouldn't know it 'cause you keep fucking it up.

Should we just move on or do you want to try it again?" "Hey, Tim, you get this, right?" And I was like, "Sure." Circles the line of the script.

Very usable, like, "Oh, okay, lightning." That was a good note.

I just had another— that you just reminded me. I just did this play in New York, and Lee Silverman, who's brilliant, she's an incredible director and a good friend, and she goes, at the first run-through, it's a one-man show, I did the whole thing the very first time, and afterwards I go, "I feel like I'm just saying words." And she goes, "Yeah, yeah, it looks like that." Oh, fuck. Wow. Which was great.

Which was great.

Yeah, it was the kick in the nuts. I needed a kick in the pants.

But you were just so happy you got through it and you didn't forget a line, I'll bet, probably, right?

I mean, that was the big test. Yeah, but I mean, I needed to actually think about what I was saying.

Now, on the other hand, I did a couple months with Soderbergh. Forgive me for dropping a name. That's what you do here, right? Sure, sure. 3 months. Yeah. Not a single note. Yeah.

Oh, that's terrifying. For 3 months.

That's terrifying in its own way. 3 months. And once I was in a car with him, I was driving, it's just me and him, and he's, you know, operating. And I got back in the car and I said, "Well, what do you think?" And he goes, "If on a scale of 1 to 10, that was a 7, maybe an 8." And I was like, "All right, cool." So that was technically our one exchange. No way. One performance exchange.

But he's also editing too. No, it's interesting.

I was gonna say, yeah, he is editing, but I was gonna say, By the way, interesting you mentioned Soderbergh because he is operating. And when we were doing our movie with Is This Thing On? with Bradley, and we're old friends, and he's also operating, right? Bradley operated that whole film. Yeah. So he, as you know, is very close. You know, he's like, "Camera's in my face." And we'd start to roll. We're rolling, blah, blah, blah. And he'd put the camera up. We haven't even started yet. And then he'd put it down for a second. He'd look, and he's like this far, and he'd go, "No acting." And then the camera right back up. And I'm like, "Fuck." Like, pre— And he was right. I love that. And it was so disarming. Like, you know, I had one time also, I did, um, I did one of these, uh, I did two of these Ninja Turtle movies years ago, like 10, 15 years ago. And we were in Madison Square Garden, and, uh, it was produced by Michael Bay. And, uh, but he came in one day to shoot all this stuff at Madison Square Garden.

We shot at a Knicks game, and then they cleared out, and then we did this stuff on the floor. And he decided to operate. He wanted to do this one bit where it kind of— The camera goes off this action, then up to me in the front row. He goes, okay, reset. And it was chaotic and stuff was going, and he's really on top of it. He knows where everything is. He's got a crane going at the same time, and he's operating, and the camera's down, and he's following along the ball. And then he just goes like this, and he just goes right up onto me and just goes, say something funny. I went, oh, fuck. Literally like that. It was a nightmare. And I'm like, ah. And I said something super sweaty. Farts. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I can't wait to talk a little bit about— well, you've got a couple of things coming. You've got this miniseries called The Five-Star Weekend. The kids moved out.

I've been working more than I've ever in my life.

Yeah, I mean, you have—

I guess I don't have to go to a tennis tournament this weekend, so yeah, let's go.

Alien Earth is renewed for season 2. Stick season 2 has been renewed for season 2.

We just wrapped that. That was a joy of a gig.

Adventures of Cliff Booth, which is coming out around Christmas time.

Speaking of no notes, Fincher.

Yeah, talk about Adventures of Cliff Booth. I want to know about this.

Yeah, what is this, a film?

The—

Yeah, that's the prequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, right? Oh. Is it prequel or sequel?

It's a sequel. Yeah.

Sequel, but isn't it— Is it the time before Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

If I get this wrong, it wouldn't be that surprising, but I'm pretty sure it's after. It's after. Okay. Yeah, this is— I'm not sure. It's The Adventures of Cliff Booth. Later. Gotcha. I think we're, uh, I think we're in the '70s.

And so Fincher, light touch. Um, I'm not saying that sarcastically, but I would imagine performance notes.

My favorite thing to do was this after we'd finish a take is before he said anything, I'd say, can I get one more? Yeah, if I could just get one more. Once again, you know Tracy, he's famous for many takes. We're talking, right? Yes, we're telling Tracy.

That's good.

That was good usage of Tracy. Hey, thanks. Uh, yeah, so we would do, uh, yeah, we did. I did a scene, um, yeah, for like 2 days, day and a half. I didn't— we like— it was— I'd never done anything like that. I felt like I was pledging a fraternity. Felt a little bit like, like, oh, let's go again, let's do it, fuck yeah, I want to be part of this, let's go.

Is it technical? Yeah, was it mostly because of technical and framing and composition thing?

Honestly, it's, um, it's oftentimes, uh multiple. It's oftentimes a, uh, everything. It's okay on that moment, you know, maybe this, and then, uh, when you lift your hand up, show me where it is. Okay, now move it just an inch left. Okay, now down just a half an inch. Lift it right there. And you're like, okay, it's a lot of that. So it's everything from when you lean forward, don't lean quite that far, a little there. It— so everything, it can get super, super technical visually. But it can also get very, very specific about, you know, when you do that, maybe it's more of an order. Maybe it's more of a, like—

So it will sometimes be performance.

It's almost like doing a run of a play, you know, like a scene, but you're doing it so many times. You're doing it, the master, you're doing like 20 times and then you're pushing 20 times and you're like, so for a day and a half, you're just doing this scene.

What was the most number of pages you did on one day? Was there ever more than 3 pages in a day? I bet there was.

No, I'm very briefly in it, so I just— I'm showing up for this, this thing, and, um, I don't know how many pages that was, but we shot it for a day and a half. Wow. But yeah, we didn't— my coverage was day 2. It was kind of— it was fascinating. And because you— so I loved it. I really loved it. And I, I think years ago when I was reading about him, I just thought, no fucking way, life's too short. But For whatever reason, at this point in my— I just was like, "Yeah, let's do 30 takes. Great." Oh, man, I'd sweep floor.

It's an experience, if nothing else.

But it throws you to a— There's a surreal quality that starts to happen that you don't expect, which is you're doing it so many times, it's hard to shut out the voice that feels like you're doing it wrong. Yeah. You know, and that's the kiss of death, right? So you have to— So it's hard to— You also start to lose your instincts. Because, I mean, he really does. It really is like a, you know, it's like, all right, pledging the fraternity here, and they're gonna break me down, and I'm not gonna crack.

He's talked about that. He's talked about some of the strategy is to like—

Because if you do a great take, you know that feeling, right, Jason? You finish a take and you think, that just felt so money. The fact that you're gonna do 15 more after that take, you start to go, maybe it wasn't that good. I don't know. Right, yeah, yeah. You have to shut that voice out, 'cause you just have to realize, No, we're—

But he talks about that sometimes he'll do a bunch of takes just to get the actor to stop acting, you know, 'cause you just run out of acting ideas and then you just end up just saying the fucking lines. And that's sometimes what he's looking for, is, "I don't want performance. Just say the lines and let's just get out." Just slide down the wall.

Just fall out of frame. Right, exactly.

True. You're doing too much. Yeah.

But isn't— I feel like I've gotten— I mean, say this with a grain of salt, but for the most part, my technique for the last decade or so has been memorizing the lines and then memorizing them to exhaustion so I show up hopefully in that place. So then to show up and then keep going, it's like you have to readjust.

Sean's motto was always like, "Does this put me on the 405 this next take?" You know what I mean?

Like, "What do they need?" Sure.

How do you expect me to do this? Act like this? How would you expect me to act that well when you've seen the craft service table and we both know that's fucked up? Yeah, terrible.

Wait, so we have to— because we— I can't believe it's been an hour already. I feel like I could talk to you about this shit for fucking ever. Um, talk about Lucky. Lucky is about to come out, this new series. We have to mention Lucky.

Yeah, so I got, uh, Lucky is, uh, also with the same, uh, preface as the whether it's a prequel or a sequel. If I get some of this wrong, it won't be surprising. Okay. But I believe Apple— it's on Apple TV, and it's Anya Taylor-Joy and Nat Benny. She's great. Lovely. Tropper wrote it. Yeah. He's wrote the movie that you and I did together. Yeah. Jonathan Tropper. It's kind of a thriller.

Friends and Neighbors, Jonathan Tropper, right?

Correct. There you go. There you go. So that was cool. And then there's this— that was fantastic. That sounds— That's good.

No, that's good. Very good.

Great. Great. I think people are leaning forward.

Yeah, yeah. I know they're gonna watch that.

And I'm gonna cut. I'm gonna move on so it just leaves them wanting more. And then there's the 5-Star Weekend with Jennifer Garner on Peacock. That's lovely. That was— Look at you.

You just go, go, go. I love it.

Dude, it's really awesome. It's insane.

It's kind of fun. It's insane. And yeah. Yeah, thanks, I appreciate it. And then, yeah, I don't know, the kids moved out. It was just, I think it was time. There was a lot of time on the hands. Yeah. And then the, what was it, the Larry David thing I think airs after— Curb Your Enthusiasm? Before this comes out. No, that 250-year thing. Yeah. So that was fun.

Oh, shit. He's gonna play at Trump's 250-year celebration? No, no.

I don't know what he's doing.

He's filling in for Milli Vanilli. Oh, he filled in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm just doing percussion.

Playing the maracas. I'm in that too, Tim. Oh, yes! Yeah, yeah. And? It's fun? Yeah, super fun. And when— I think it comes out soon, like in June or something, or July. Well, July.

Yeah, July, right?

Oh, Sean, do you want to talk a little bit about what you got coming up?

No, tell me. How was it?

Did you enjoy it? Yeah, it was fun. What did you do? What was your scenario? So the concept is Larry David did a show for HBO to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the United States, and he put himself into historical scenarios to reenact them. And mine was The Wright Brothers, and it was me, Jon Hamm, and Larry David. And Jon Hamm and I played Orville and, uh, um, the Wright Brothers, and he played Lawrence Wright, the third Wright Brother, and he was complaining about the middle seat on the plane that we just invented. And, um—

And yours is what? I'm OK Corral.

Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'm one of the Earp Brothers, and, uh, Larry— the whole OK Corral, Larry sets it off. It's all— it was him.

Yeah, it seems like plenty of opportunity to hire you or me, Will.

Yeah, our phone numbers must— we haven't changed in a minute. That's weird. No.

Yeah, well, um, just look that up. I'm gonna check my junk mail. Um, sure. And I'm—

it was more on you because I feel like you should have said something on their behalf. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. You know, I mean, it's— you're seeing them all the time.

I do feel like everyone in town has been on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Will, did you do it?

No, you and I did not do You and I did not. I don't think he likes us.

You know what Larry actually said to me last— this is a true story, so I can say it. He said to me about 6 months ago, how come you were never on Curb? And I go, you never asked me.

Yeah.

And he was like, uh-huh. And then I said, I think I'm too tall anyway. I did say that to him.

We've had him on the podcast.

We have? Yeah.

Yeah. I've never been in a Bateman project. Should we just get to that right now? Actually, correct me if there's something wrong.

Sean, you and I have never been in a Jason Bateman job. Wait, you guys haven't either?

No.

Wait, what? He's directed like a bunch of things.

Oh, are you going through a canyon? You can't hear us right now? Are you guys— can you hear me?

Do we lose you? I hear you. Can you hear me, guys? I'm gonna call you back. I'll call you back.

David, you send me a call sheet, I'll show up, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I'm gonna do— I'm gonna put all three of you in one scene. Come on, all three of us in a scene, and then I'm gonna cut it. Then what do you mean cut it?

You won't be able to cut this. It'll be so vital. Speaking of vital, you're vital to showbiz, Tim Olyphant. You are just an absolute gem, and it's been awesome having you, dude. Continued success. Keep staying busy because it's so great watching you, dude.

Yeah, and give Karen and Christine their office back.

Yeah, yeah.

Back at you guys. It was a pleasure. Thank you. Pleasure. We look forward to it.

5-star weekend. Lucky. All this stuff. Congrats. And what a joy. What a joy. The great Tim Olyphant. Thank you. You're going to get a round of applause.

Yeah, I think that's the first— that's the first goodbye applause we've done. I think so too. I have warranted.

Yeah.

Gentlemen, it was a pleasure. Likewise, Tim.

Thanks. Thanks, dude. Bye, buddy. So yeah, what about that Tim Olyphant, huh? I know he's a good dude. He's a real good dude. He's easy on the eyes. He's got talent. I know. What's not to love? That's why I work so much.

And he does have a reputation that he's one of the nicest guys. That's his reputation.

Everybody loves him. Remember Margo saying how much she loved him back in the day?

Do they say that about any of us?

About us? About Jon and me?

Yeah. I don't think so.

Yeah, they say that about Jon and me all the time.

You ever heard anything bad about me?

Let me just say, I would not look it up. Were I you, if you want to have a continued good rest of your day, I would not investigate.

Don't dig. No need to dig.

Don't—

everybody loves Jakey Bates.

Uh, well, you can find some naysayers. I'll bet. No, no. Uh, but boy, that Tim Olyphant. No, you'd get— you get, uh, 10s across the board.

Did we forget to plug— we, we forgot to plug, um, Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, really?

Oh, oh, go ahead. Maybe just roll the tape on that.

October 17th. What do you do? Hollywood Bowl. You go to smartless.com/live and you get tickets. Sorry. You go to smartlist.com/live and you get tickets. Who's this? For, uh, the Hollywood Bowl, October 17th.

We're gonna have some surprise guests there. We're gonna have a surprise guest.

We're gonna have two or one?

Just a couple. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. You go to smartlist.com/live and you can get tickets for you or for a friend. Uh, Sean, you can— they're not free. You do—

what do you do if you get them for a friend? You have to— you have to Mabel!

Smartlist.com/live— smartist— com— never trying to do it— smartlist.com/live— smartlist.com/live willaudio— Will Audio? We'll add you up on your radio. Well, audio we'll have here: $5 footlong 5-dollar SmarT List.

Smartless.

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