Transcript of "Olivia Wilde"

Hi, I'm Olivia Wilde. I somehow got talked into being on Smartless. So, I don't know. This is a disaster. Welcome to Smartless.

Smartless.

Smartless.

Smartless.

Yes. We love Dio. We love Dio. We love Dio.

Can you get a small— I love how you get a nice small mustache and then start doing the "We love Dio." No, go full, like little pointy goat.

Yeah, like—

We love Dio.

We love Dio. Che bella.

Che bella, we love Dio.

So Sean, are those new— are those new specs?

Oh yeah, do you like them?

Yeah.

Nope, nope, you're right. I'm sorry, you said that so quickly.

No, I do, I do, they're nice. Um, wait, who made the clear horn rim frames famous? Um, I feel like it was like a Ted McGinley or one of those handsome fellas.

I think I did.

Andy Richter.

Oh, Andy Richter wears them. Yeah, yeah, for a long time.

Yeah.

What did I just see? Andy Richter is in—

and he's an obsession.

Obsession.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, he was great.

I love Andy. Can I just say that just as a general rule?

I know what's not to love.

He's so fucking funny.

Yeah, he is funny.

Well, then you can take the surprise out of your voice.

No, I'm not surprised, but it's just you have those moments where you just think about something, you go, God, Andy. God, we used to have so much— remember we used to play cards with Andy?

He's still alive.

Yeah, no, I know. I'm just saying, remember we used to play cards all the time back in the day?

Yeah, no, with Kyle Bass.

Yeah, with Kyle.

I remember Andy one time at my old place Venice, remember?

And he came down the stairs and he had somebody— Giles had brought like fudge or something, and Andy came down and he had— there was fudge all around his mouth. And he's like, hey, I couldn't find the— I couldn't find the fudge.

I couldn't find the fudge.

I couldn't find the fudge. And it was all around his mouth. He was like, it wasn't anywhere. I couldn't find it anywhere.

Yeah. Uh, Jay, what did you think about Obsession? Wasn't it a good movie?

Yeah, I really liked it. Now, is that what you were watching with my wife the other day?

I was watching it with your wife in your house, and you weren't there.

I was so jealous.

Yeah.

Oh, let me just check my phone.

Scotty was there too.

And Scotty was there.

Yeah.

Let me just see if I must get a new computer.

You're going to pay for that. I know.

You will pay for that one.

I will pay for that one.

No.

You're going to text the guys after this session. You're going to say, hey guys, would you trim out the little spot where I totally forgot that Scott was sitting next to me?

Wait, Jason, you just nodded to somebody. Is that somebody making you an egg sandwich or something?

Ew, close.

Oh, ew.

Who's there?

That's Morgan.

Who's Morgan?

Morgan is my incredible, um, partner here in, uh, JP.

Oh, you've got a partner now? Look at you.

Yeah, yeah, she's, she's, she's— now I have two partners here. I don't like to say assistants. Yeah, um, good for you, because I like to stay relatable.

Yeah, sure.

But you know, you know who is assisting my assistant? Who's that?

Franny.

Francesca Nora Bateman.

Is she there right now?

She is. She is.

Tell her we say hello.

I want to see her.

Yeah, let's turn the camera.

There she is out there in the production office. Can you see her?

Look at that.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that.

Look at her. Look at— you're just in some lonely office.

You know, by the way, you know who stays relatable? People who don't say, I want to stay relatable.

Yeah.

Because they don't have to curate it.

My insincerity is bleeding through.

Yeah, man. Why do we got it? What is the sandwich that you got though? Are you going to dig into it?

You know, do we just push forward? We don't talk about your NetJets or— let's go past that. We'll go past that.

Let's talk about this.

Or your Long Island second home.

Let's talk about this. There's Scotty.

Oh, look at Scotty. Don't try to make up for it.

Oh, Scotty, he's doing pray hands. By the way, it's easy travel. You know, you call and then they're there and then they get you from where you need to go.

You should try OneFlight. OneFlight's a better service.

Not a paid ad. Not a paid ad. Ned Jets.

Guys, this is disgusting.

It's so gross, guys. Let's not cut it though. Um, so, uh, Sean, now Sean, what did Scotty bring you? Is, is that just warm milk? A bowl of mixed Pop-Tarts?

No, no, warm milk.

It's, it's, it's, uh, it's tea. It's tea with sugar and cream.

Sugar and cream? What kind of, um— even with the tea, you can't take your foot off the gas, huh?

I think it's artificial, uh, sweetener today.

What kind of tea are we having?

Just regular, regular English breakfast tea.

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

You know, there's a cake lady coming though. Remember the cake lady?

Well, this is not a surprise. Yeah, but yes, I do remember.

Yeah.

So, so, Jay, I don't remember. What do you mean a cake?

He's got a woman who I, I've used her. She's amazing.

She's great.

And she'll make anything.

You mean you've used her? What are you talking about?

For one of the kids' birthdays?

Yeah, she's— there's a— we call her— her name is Cake Lady.

But she's really— pull the relatable bus over to the side first.

No, she's like—

you don't go down to the fucking store and buy a cake?

No, she's like $10 and she delivers it. Yeah, she makes it and she'll deliver to your house and it's the best cake you've ever had.

Such a drag to go to a store and put some time in to buy your child.

By the way, if anybody gets a sighting of JB at a store, please take a pic. Please take a pic of JB and post it. Let me tell you, I went to Whole Foods down in California.

Few things that I like better than pushing a cart aisle by aisle by aisle and taking like 3 hours to to do 10 minutes of shopping under the heading of things that never fucking happen. I do love a good market session.

When was the last time?

I mean, last time I was in, actually, what, 2 days ago? I had to run down the street to get me and my assistant's assistant some dinner.

Do you go to Whole Foods?

No, I went to this. No, this place that is—

Oh, I know that upscale marketplace.

Yeah.

Meadow Lane, right? Yeah, I bet. I mean, by the way, that place— you talk about relatable. That's like the most expensive market in Tribeca.

But hang on, but it's so convenient.

It's just down the way and it's so nice. It's so aesthetic.

What's it called?

It's called Meadow Lane. It's sort of— it's the rich man's Erewhon, which is like—

which is redundant.

Yeah, it's very small, but it's incredible. And it's nice.

I don't mean to— I don't mean to disparage the place. It's very nice.

I know, but they've got to come down on prices. It's going to come— it's going to go out of That's crazy. You can't charge $25 for a prepackaged chicken Chinese whatever salad thing.

Wait, do you know what Air One backwards is?

Yeah, man.

Nowhere.

Yeah.

Thanks. Okay, our next guest, guys. Today's guest—

hey, if you fold a dollar bill into 3 things, then you'll be able to see that there's a message.

You know what Moorpark is backwards? Moorpark, you know the street out in the Valley?

Sure.

Yeah.

Well, tell me.

Crap Room? It's Crap Room.

Crap Room, yeah.

How come? My 14-year-old's gonna love that.

That's—

Right?

'Cause she goes to school near there.

So good.

Okay, thanks for bringing us down. Guys, sitting and chatting with us today—

Oh.

—is pure sunshine on feet. This actor-director is a woman I have had the deep pleasure of working with twice. Wow. As an actor, she has done fantastic work in both comedy and drama, in film, stage, and TV. As a director, she's one of the most exciting and sought-after new voices today. And having already done 3 films, which no doubt there will be more, as many more as she wants, as she wishes. She's a true friend. Olivia Wilde. Reveal yourself, Olivia. Oh, and today your tasty ear meal here is Olivia Wilde.

How in the world did you get that, Will? Will, how did you get that?

Because she's one of the most sought-after directors out there. Of course.

Come on, that's a layup.

I think you could hear my heavy breathing.

I think that was that, your small dog screaming.

That was the last part of the intro, Jason. It says under heavy, known for her heavy breathing, right?

Wild. Um, Olivia, welcome to the show. Welcome. This is great. I feel like it's long overdue. Can we have trouble making your deal?

Oh God, is this overdue? What? I— well, I— everyone, I finally did every other podcast and this was it.

Oh, the last one.

You saved the best for last in this world, right?

This is This is so exciting. Sitting here spying on you guys is a really weird, thrilling feeling.

Yeah. I apologize for all the coffee chat. All our trash.

It's so great.

I want 45 minutes of that and 3 of me, and then we're done. Well, you're in. Guess what?

Yeah.

Here it comes. We're not gonna let you talk at all.

Yeah, our favorite is to ask you a question and then tell you what our answer is for that question. And then whatever time remains, you can talk. Oh, I know.

I'm a longtime listener. Are you? Come on.

Big fan. Who's your favorite?

Of course. You're my favorite, 'cause you brought me on. Will didn't, even though Will and I just worked together.

We did. Oh, you did? We did. That's right.

Did you guys have scenes together? We did. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Pivotal scene. Pivotal scene.

We don't want to say too much.

Well, let's go ahead. Let's start with that. Let's tell them about your film coming out, y'all.

We're in a film called Behemoth. I'll say it's, it's behemoth and directed by Tony Gilroy, the greatest Tony Gilroy, the coolest.

He's the coolest guy of all time.

Hey, Will, why don't you try to book him, huh? Yeah, why don't we get him on?

I'd love to have— I am going to get Tony. I am.

You have to. Oh my God, dude, he—

I'll fan all—

by the way, listener, listener, please look Tony Gilroy up and you'll be amazed at just his credits alone. He's just incredible.

Michael Clayton, his first film somehow, which is the first film that he directed. Yeah, that he directed. He's an incredible writer.

But that's a perfect movie. He gets Robert Elswit to be the DP on that right out of the gate.

Crazy. It's crazy. It's like Citizen Kane. He's like, how about this? I'll try this job. And it's perfect. But he's so cool and so chill, and he makes it look so easy. I was just entirely obsessed with him and his wife. He's got a real cool thing like you and Amanda, Jason. He's like that. They're like just cool and obsessed with each other.

Amanda's cool. Yeah, Amanda's cool.

She carries a cool for both of us.

Yeah. Yeah, the great Tony Gilroy. God, we love him. We love him. I will say, can I just tell you something funny, Olivia, that happened to me last week?

I wanna listen. Let me listen. I had—

This is for us. Go.

So I had dinner with Tony, like, 2 weeks ago. Oh, yeah. Here in LA. And then I—

Did you talk about reshooting your stuff?

That's weird. I was here. No way.

Keep going. We're just catching up. And I— We split the bill. So we both put our cards down. Well, we signed the thing, whatever. We split.

Surprised he got half out of you.

Couple days later. Couple days later. No, I did go through the bill. I kept going, you had 2 drinks, right? You had— because I didn't touch—

who had the French fries?

If I'm looking at the dessert, like, I never even touched it. And so then, so we spent— and then a couple days later, I go shopping to buy a few new items, to get some clothes. And the bill was pretty hefty. And I give him the card. The guy gives it back to him. And he hands me the card back. And I'm talking to my friend., and I look down, it says Tony Gilroy on the credit card.

Yeah. So I go, whatever.

And then I text him, I go, hey, man, so listen, you're about to get a big charge. Thanks for the tops. And so he goes, oh, shit. And he goes, I'm going back to New York. He goes, all right, I'll come over and grab it from you. I'm right around the corner. And he goes, I don't— I'm trying to think if I bought anything in the last couple of days. And there's a pause in the text. And he goes, the only thing I think I bought, embarrassingly enough, are mothballs.

What? That's relatable.

So anyway, yeah, yeah, he's got something. Guy's got a lot of cashmere.

He does, he does. A lot of cashmere. I bet he sleeps in cashmere. But this movie is, is starring Pedro Pascal, and I have no idea when it comes out, but it's gonna be so good because there are at least 7 composers on that film. It's a film about music, and Pedro plays is a cellist, and you also play a musician. Yes. Did you get to play music in the movie? No, no, I'm kind of— I read it. I think I read it. I read my scenes.

No, I read it. What instrument did they say your character played, Will?

They just said it's just a bunch. Just, he's just kind of like an all-around kind of whatever's available.

Yeah, and he's a dude who kind of—

he often, like, I don't know if you're catching my 10,000-yard stare, he's kind of a guy who's got a lot going on inside, you know?

Yeah, I love when you—

I love when You wet the reed, hopefully it's some sort of wind instrument. And let the spit out.

Yeah. Yeah.

So surely it's about conductors, composers? Sort of, right?

Yeah, and like film composition, like music for film. And it's kind of a love letter to that world, and they show that process, which is so cool.

Yeah, it's cool. Wow, yeah, that is something that your average moviegoer does not get a chance to learn about that much. It's fascinating.

It's really, really fascinating kind of getting in and out of them, the people who inhabit that world and what they are. And some of them are just the most brilliant.

And Will plays Pedro's brother. Yeah. Put that together in your head. Wow. Make that make sense. And it does because you're that good. It was the tan. It's the tan that you currently have.

That is why he's still wearing all the makeup.

Thank you. No way.

You guys, um, all right, well, let's talk about it like I'm not here. No, all right, so we've, uh, we've, we've got— we started at the end. Let's go back to the beginning. Hey, Livvy. I don't think I've ever called you Livvy. Um, now this has gotten some press before, and I apologize to ask you about it, um, but maybe some of our listeners have discussed it. But I But it's cute. I like it. You had to change your name, didn't you, doll?

I, you know, I didn't have to. I chose to. Oh, you kind of had to.

Let's walk the audience through the original name.

Yeah, I don't know this.

What's the original name? It's fun. It's real fun. It's fun, but it's got some real lineage to it too. So go ahead here, guest.

Okay. Thank you so much. I was born with a different name. Oh, my family name is actually Coburn, but it's pronounced Coburn, but it's spelled— and I'm gonna— I weirdly have a visual for this. No, listener, you won't get it, but it's for these guys. But my last name is— oh wow, Cockburn.

Sean, you were just talking about Cockburn like 2 days ago.

That is—

that's right, because— didn't— were you—

by the way, I'm still talking about it.

When are you not talking about it?

Particularly was behind a dumpster, right?

Anyway, Yeah, he had a real case of the cockburn.

I mean, if anybody has any ointment or anything, yeah, yeah, let me know. Wait, it's really pronounced Coburn?

It's okay, but this is the thing, that's not unusual in Scotland. It is pronounced Coburn. I've never expected anyone in my life to ever be able to, to under— to get that, to predict that.

Yeah, so from me, by the way, so people can say—

oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, C-O-C-K-B-U-R-N. Cockburn. Very literally how you would imagine it being spelled. And it's a name to grow up with to build character. You know, it's a boy named Sue. And it— yeah, my family are all amazing writers and journalists and just badass people.

And that book you just held up, is that somebody from your family?

Yeah, my sweet assistant has built this little tower for the microphone, and she happened to use these books that are written by my family just to intimidate me, to remind me I haven't done shit in my life. And they're very impressive. That's true. Yeah, that's true. But they're all amazing.

Yeah. Well then, but so, uh, A, how early did you change the name? And B, you landed on Wilde because of your affinity for? Oscar Wilde. Oh, wow.

Yes. And so I changed it when I was 18. I, um, right when you legally can, if you can believe it.

But hang on. But you went through the toughest teasing years with that name. Oh, yeah. How did that go?

I think it's— I truly think it's good for you. I think that everyone should be given one really devastating part of their name. Oh, really? I was just talking to Dax about this because he also— this was also where he wanted to start.

He was like, "Can we get this?" Oh, did he? Yeah. Well, we are a child of that podcast. Wait, that's true. I've never spoken to Dax about his name. What do we know about Dax's first name?

It's actually Cockburn.

Yeah, but what is that?

Is Dax a short form of something?

Dax is actually his name. No, I think it's Dax. No, he's born Dax, right?

I forget why his mom— Daxel. What was the deal with that?

Daxel.

Isn't that weird? I've never asked him about that.

Daxel. I have, and I forget.

Daxel. So wait a minute, Olivia. So did you— so when you— so 18. Why 18? Because— so you wanted to change it forever?

Well, no, I'm— you know, I moved out here. I came right from boarding school. I came right to LA, and I was a casting assistant, and I was doing— I was going to auditions, and I was like, I want to forge my own path. And I had— I wanted to change my name. And I had, like, great affinity for other people who had done that. I thought it was really cool when other people had done that. And I was like, I want— what would I do? And And I— the first play I did that I really loved was The Importance of Being Earnest. And then I read everything that Oscar Wilde wrote, and I just became obsessed with him. And he's Irish, my family's Irish, so that's how it happened.

Yeah, it's such a great name.

Yeah, I didn't think it would be interpreted so, like, pornographically. Like, the first 10 years of my career, every headline, every magazine was just like, "Get Wilde," like, "Born to be Wilde," "Wet and Wilde." And I was like, "Oh, fuck, I didn't really think this through." Could use a little cockburn.

I'm like, "I'm not a Karen right now." She kept it as a middle name.

I did, yeah. No.

Wait, but what about being an assistant casting director? Was that— Now, I would imagine that would have given you some comfort as you started auditioning, that you'd kind of been on the other side of it, and you kind of— Was it less intimidating?

You know, I did it 'cause Keener had done it. I was obsessed with Catherine Keener, and she had done it. Catherine Keener. Keener. It's not something most casting directors will let you do. They don't usually hire— wannabe actors because it's like dangerous. You have little spies in the office. But I worked for Mally Finn. Do you guys remember Mally?

Did you ever do shows with her? Yeah.

She was a legend. And so I worked for her first when I was 16 and then when I was 18. So when I was 16, I did it for a summer and then she let me come back at 18 and have a real job. And I worked there for almost a year and it was wild. I really saw how the sausage was made.

So were you outside, like in the sort of reception area and watching everyone practice their faces and mop their brows? Oh my God.

And it was so many people I later worked with, and I was like, I've seen you. No way. Another light. When you're mad at me because it's taking too long and parking is annoying and you're late and you want coffee.

Uh-huh.

We'll be right back.

All right, back to the show.

Did it help you at all, like, understand the audition process? Like, did you feel like it gave you a leg up?

Yeah. Also, she had crazy high standards, so she would not accept anybody unprepared or not off-book. Like, she would stop people and say, "Um, why don't you come back when you've done the work?" And I loved that it gave me this sense of like, "You better be really prepared." Like, I never have gone to an audition without being prepared. But she had crazy stories. And the thing that I love is that while I was working there, there was like this great legend Hang on, let me drink my coffee because—

Go ahead, we'll pause. This is what the editing's for. We'll trim it right out. It's gonna be smooth as silk.

Oh, yeah. So while I was working there, there was like the legend of the Sam Rockwell audition. And it was like she would tell us, like, the best audition I've ever seen was Sam Rockwell auditioning for The Green Mile.

Jason's directing him right now.

Let me tell you this, and please repeat this to him at work today. So she said he came in, And it was the last day of the director's sessions, the last possible day you could audition. And he came in, and he had been given the wrong scenes. And this man, Sam Rockwell, he didn't even pause. He said, "Well, give me the correct scenes, and I'll go learn them really quickly." And they said, "That's impossible, Sam. It's 10 pages of dialogue. You can't possibly— No one could do it." And he was like, "Just give me a chance. I don't want to miss this opportunity." So, they gave him the right scenes. He goes into the hallway. They only have 5 minutes to give him to learn the lines, he comes back in and he nails it. And they were floored, and he got the role. And she said, "That, that's an actor who can work that quickly." So years later, I'm working with Sam, and I'm sitting next to him in the makeup chair, and I was like, "Sam, it's so nice to meet you. What an honor. I have to tell you, I always heard this story when I was an assistant, and it just really inspired me." And he goes, "Oh, oh yeah.

That was like a thing I used to do. That worked every time." And I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Oh, that's great. I have been— Brilliant. So like, he— I thought that this— he— I revered his ability to like flash memorize. He knew he had the correct sides. It was a whole performance. Oh my God. So it's so genius because it lowers their expectations. Then if you even like say half the things right, they're like, goddamn, this man learned this in 5 minutes.

He's a crafty bugger.

He's a real operator of that rock and roll.

I better keep my knees bent. Isn't that great?

He's like— and the way it's so Sam, he's like, oh yeah, that was just like a thing I used to do. Oh yeah. And I was like, wow, he deserves an Oscar.

I did— I don't know if I told this before, but we can cut this out if it's boring. Uh, already too boring?

No, no, we're good. Cut. Pre-cut. Pre-cut. Pre-cut.

So I went to go audition for The Bucket List with, uh, the brilliant Rod Reiner rest his soul. He was amazing. And he— and I walk in and I had the wrong sides, right? I'd worked on a real— for a long time. And I walked in and I had all— like, it wasn't even slightly wrong, it was completely rewrote all these scenes. And I started auditioning with the— with the scene and he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, these are— who gave you these sides? Like, my agent. He's like, no, there's a whole new script. And he's like— I'm like, I didn't know that. I go, great, then let me come back a week later and I'll go work I'm like, "I'm working on them." So, I work on them, and I had this bit all ready, and I walk in, and it's just me and Rob and, like, a couple producers and a cast director. And I was like, "You ready?" He's like, "Yeah." And then I started going, uh, "Why did you order the—" So bad. Like, the worst acting you've ever seen on purpose.

I go, "Why did you order the Code Red? I didn't tell you to order the Code Red. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth." No. No. And I stopped, and he's laughing, and I go, Did I get the wrong side?

That's really great.

I started doing the scene from A Few Good Men. That's so good.

Did he give you the part?

Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, of course.

Nice. Very nice. So now, Olivia, now that you're on the other side of the table in these auditions, as you're directing these things, are you incredibly more compassionate to these actors? Yes.

And I take like 12 hours per session because I'm like, "You go. I want to hear it all." Even if I know from the first moment that it's not it. I'm like, "This is your time." And it's a disaster for everyone else 'cause I will milk it. It's so hard. Auditioning is a fucking nightmare. And these people, they come and they're so vulnerable. And yeah, being on that side definitely made me a little kinder.

But there's so much more also self-taping now, right? It's all self-tape, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. That part seems fantastic, right? Where you can just record your audition.

Yeah, then the pressure's off. I like the room.

I like the room. Yeah. I kind of like that.

What if you don't do well? What if you forget your lines? With, with the self-tapes, you don't send it until you're happy with it.

But you overthink it. And I, I mean, can you imagine how much the overthinking— and also what I find is when people send me tapes, they've overthought the, the framing, the lighting. People have full setups now, and I'm like, you don't need that. I'd rather have someone's like shitty iPhone selfie video in their car, right, on the way to their real job, than, than like at a red light. Yeah, at a rather than like a full setup that I'm like, you didn't have to do that for me, I don't need all this.

But Olivia, what, what, what made you— how did you know that you wanted to just move to Los Angeles and work in a casting director's office?

Like, how old were you?

You moved from where?

I read that Keener done it. I moved— I was at boarding school in Massachusetts. Okay. Who went to boarding school here? You said somebody did. Oh, you did?

Where did you go? In Canada. No, we don't talk about it. Okay. We had a bad breakup.

Boarding school and I had a bad breakup. Okay. Yeah. Well, mine was— it's tough, but I went to a fancy one. I can't complain. It was very bougie. But I graduated and left the suburbs of Massachusetts after growing up in New York and then D.C. And I had never spent much time in the West Coast. I thought L.A. sounded like this, like, incredible mecca of excitement. And I came out here and— took, like, 2 city buses to work every day in the casting office, and then started auditioning and, you know, kind of scraped my way up slowly. But it was really the dream from the beginning. So for me, it was very exciting even just to be here.

And where'd you stay when you came out? Did you move into the Oakwoods? No.

That would've been fun. That sounded so fun for those 2 people. I did. You did?

I did a few pilot seasons at—

So for Tracy, that's a place where the actors —would go stay when they came here.

It was like corporate housing, and there would be that thing. I remember pilot season, you'd have like 6 auditions a day, and you're not getting anything. And the back gate is on Barham over there, on the way down the hill towards Warner Brothers. And on the back gate, when you'd leave, there's a sign on the gate, and you had to wait for it to slowly open. And it said, "Smile, it's showtime." Oh, God.

And there'd be— So dark.

And there'd be days, and it's like February, and it's raining all day, and you're like— Going back for a crappy pilot and you just feeling like, "My life is so worthless." "I'm 31. Nothing is happening." Smile. It's showtime.

Fuck me, man.

Well, I had given myself a limit because I had taken a— I deferred from college and I was like, I'm giving myself a year or like 9 months. And if I don't book anything in that time, I'll go. I think that's good. I think giving yourself a little bit of a deadline.

What was the thing that you would have gone back and studied in college?

What would you have studied in college? I mean, acting. I mean, it would've— I think I would've studied— I really probably would've become a writer like everyone else in my family, or I would've tried. So— But now if I went back, which I like to fantasize about, I think it would be like complete— I think I wanna study neuroscience. I'd like to go and do it. Wouldn't that be cool? There'd be a bunch of math I'd have to catch up on, though, which is—

I've got a couple of friends that are doctors, and I just— They walk on water to me. I just like— That's really— I know. Like, you certainly aren't born— born with any sort of natural talent to cut people's brains open and fix it, right? Like, you could be born with talent to throw a football 100 yards or whatever, but you don't come out with it. So it's all learned. You have to learn so much, and you don't learn it until you read it or it's explained to you. Jason was a pain. He respects discipline. Yes. And, and, and self-education. I, I just— I think it's incredible.

I wonder if they are born though with something. Maybe you are born with— well, you just say you an affinity to—

intelligence. Yeah, or, or learn.

Or that's why I'd get into neuroscience, because I'd want to get in there and see if they are born with it. Like, you know what I mean? Get into— cut them open and look. That's how we'd learn if they are born with it. Yeah, you fucking dummy. That's why I'm doing it. Yes. You think Dr. Gary walks on water, by the way?

I do.

He's an emergency room physician.

He's got to know how to do everything. His golf game, because he's so straight and he's always in the fairway.

But what about— I have a friend that was like, I I— he, he's like, I don't trust doctors, I don't believe in them. I think, you know, statins— like, just, oh, he goes on and on about like what's—

you're talking about RFK Jr.? Yeah, your top dog.

Yeah, I'm having dinner with him tonight. No, no, but top dog. No, but like, what do you think about these people who don't ever— who constantly put doctors down? I, I'm with you. I'm like, I, I've taken the two choices about someone who you know, stuff you read online or like self-help, whatever, and somebody who studied it day in and day out, I'm gonna go with the guy who studied it.

Yeah, just assuming that those doctors must be wrong. Like, wait, what?

Yeah, also, also that there's a bigger conspiracy at play here, that they're looking to take the— what is it, take the world over?

They've all organized and figured out how to trick us all, right?

Sean trusts doctors too much. I mean, I would say that maybe.

Yeah, he's got a punch card at Cedars. No, he's He's— they call him Paddles when he comes in. He's got AFib and he's always getting it fired up.

I mean, I, I had to play a doctor to be anywhere near it.

Let's talk about House.

That wasn't me trying to like segue into my career.

We appreciate the help. And for our Canadian listeners, it's the show known as House.

Yes, created by Canadians.

Wasn't that next door to us over there at, uh, on the Fox lot for Arrested Development? I thought you meant Canada.

Oh man, I wish I was on your show. Go. I wish we were all back on the 20th lot.

Wasn't that great?

Like just going to Apple Pan every day for lunch. Apple Pan's the best.

Is that still there? Oh yeah, I think it is there. I think Irving Azoff—

I go there after therapy.

Didn't Irving Azoff buy Apple Pan, or am I thinking of Nate now? No, you're correct.

Sean, you go there after therapy? So like once, once all the feelings come up, you go to stuff them back down?

Yes, with the tuna melt and the milkshake.

Oh, it sounds so good. Fried fries.

All right, all right. So now, so, so we're back. We go back in the time machine. What is Olivia Coburn watching when she's a wee lass, um, that's inspiring her to become an actor?

Okay, this is the thing. My— I think about this a lot now. My family, we watched a lot of comedy together, and it is my greatest memory from childhood is, is the sound of my parents laughing and all of us laughing. And my mom has a really funny thing. She still, like, cries when she laughs, and it's just adorable. And she would always be like wiping away tears, and my dad laughing so hard, all of us. And when I think about it, it was a lot of comedy that I wouldn't have been absorbing the real meaning of. I mean, a lot of— The Cosby, All in the Family. Yeah. And like, we watched, like, a lot of comedy that was probably a little too adult. And then a lot of, you know, we watched like Wayne's World 1,000 times. Like, for some reason, Wayne's World was like a huge movie in our family. But a lot of SNL. And it was a real joy to just sit and watch, you know, all the Monty Python together a lot. Like, we just— it was the best. And I think for me, watching comedy, even watching, like, for me, I Love Lucy.

I watch a lot of old comedy television. We do too.

I do too. I watch Cheers a lot.

Cheers, the best. I love Cheers.

God, I love Cheers.

And so, I think about, like, "Oh, of course, that's where I find myself now wanting to make comedy." comedies because it's just— I think it is probably the happiest memories from childhood. I think I'm trying to recreate that feeling.

Did you go like, oh, I'm gonna go and do this and I want to be in comedy? Like, was that like a thing?

Yes, yes, yeah. I think probably because it was— I probably at the earliest age saw how happy it was making my, my parents. Like, I think— and then I would— I was the ham of the family, and so I would make them laugh, and then I would— I was the jamón of the family, and I would go and like, just entertain everyone. And they always had parties. My family, my parents are very social and very good hosts, and so they had these amazing parties all the time. And it was my joy in life to go and, like, perform as the little kid. So, but I really think it was from watching all these great movies together. And I, I think about it because I'm like, am I showing my kids enough, like, great films? I hope so.

Jason, you're good about it with, with Franny. You've been so good about it.

I put them in front of the TV before they could even speak because that would— that, that That was my upbringing. I mean, that—

'Cause you were playing golf. Well, there was that.

You're busy. But, you know, they gotta learn somehow, you know? Colors and—

No, but you've talked in the last couple years, like, you and Frannie talk about film, and you sort of put a lot of good stuff in front of her. Like, that's been important to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really important to me. It's— 'Cause that's what I had with my dad. It was great subject matter and shared references, and, yeah, I just— I love it. Yeah, you don't want to expose your 4-year-old to The Wire, but, you know— You know, it's just like, uh, common sense.

I'm not afraid. And when they get it, it's so great. But sometimes they'll be like— they'll come back from their dad's house and be like, we had to watch 12 Angry Men. And I'm like, I don't know if that's—

well, Suds, you know, Suds loves the 12 Angry Men.

Oh my God. What are your— what are your kids— what are your go-to, uh, whether they repeat, like they will watch The same one movie over and over?

Well, I miss when they were really into like musical theater. They— I mean, Otis used to be obsessed with Singing in the Rain, and it was so sweet. He would watch it over and over and over again. And, you know, Mary Poppins and all that stuff. And now, oh, now it's, it's more— actually, the thing that I love that he's into is Godzilla, the original, the old Godzilla. Oh no, with like the claymation? Yeah, yeah, like Mothra. Godzilla? Have you seen that? The 1960s Godzillas are so cool and beautiful. And he and I went to Japan a couple weeks ago on like a little mom-son trip. We went for a week, and it was the best. It was like— it was just the greatest trip I've ever taken with another person alone. Like, it was— we laughed constantly, and it was— it came from our shared Godzilla.

Can I— can I just say, as an aside, have you guys been to Japan before? Sean? No, I want to go.

I've been a couple of times as a kid, and I have actually promised that to do the exact trip Olivia just took to both girls individually, just father-daughter time. And I have not— I have not done it yet. You gotta go.

With Abel, the same thing. Japan is the greatest place. I couldn't love Japan anymore. It's amazing. It's amazing.

And it's great for kids. It's so clean. Like, Otis couldn't get over the fact that there's no trash on the street and there's no trash cans. So it's not because like, oh, they have so many trash cans, it's that they just respect the city enough to not litter. It's the, the— everything about it is interesting and beautiful. And we had the best time. We got on the bullet train. And every— you— I bet you love it, Bateman, because it's very efficient. Everything about it. Like, the, um, train leaves like literally like to the second at the time that it says. It's like the opposite of Italy, even. And I love silly too. But it's like, we're waiting for the train.

Yeah, it is.

You— and, and Otis is like that.

The train will leave eventually.

Make a big deal.

Have a nice coffee, one cigarette.

It's predictable. And I think kids really like that too. They like the idea that like it's gonna happen when they say it's gonna happen, right? And there's just so—

they're just the coolest. I saw this thing about Japan where the— if a kid— I, I may have gotten wrong. If a kid is wearing yellow, then that kid is by himself and everybody watches out for that kid. Come on. You know, like the kid isn't, um, doesn't have a, uh, unchaperoned.

Unchaperoned. Yeah. Wow. Or an orphan, perhaps. Maybe that's a— it's an orphan uniform, right? Just walking around looking for a home. This one's free, just grab this one if you want.

No, I don't think so.

Yeah. So come on, Sean. Jesus. Yeah.

No, but I think, I think I saw that. I don't know if that's true, but yeah, I don't know about that one.

It's probably Oh, hey, this is Olivia. This is a segment we like to call I Think I Saw That, um, where it's just, it's really a lot of conjecture.

And it's next to the other, the other segment called Scrub My Search History by Sean Hayes.

Wait, we have this.

I may have dreamt this.

Um, um, all right, so here we go.

What was the thing? What was the thing? What was the job? What was the thing that turned it all? Because you're auditioning, you're doing so— what was the thing? What was First, boom.

I guess probably The O.C. The O.C. Oh, that's right. I was a bisexual bartender, Alex Kelly. And it was a big show, bigger than I knew it was when I agreed to do it. And it was wild.

You know, it's being rewatched. Oh, I know.

'Cause these young folks, now they come up to me and I'm like, "What do you mean?" It's such a deep cut, but they will say like, I love, love you on the show. And I'm like, what show? And it's The OC, and I can't believe it. I mean, for them it's like Nick at Nite now, right? It's like old school.

I wonder why they landed on that as opposed to, let's say, 90210 or Melrose Place or—

It's close enough. And also they're obsessed with early aughts everything fashion now too. So like, it is from that era that is now weirdly coming back. And so they're into that look and the music.

It's relevant. Sean, you're about to be in style again. Yeah, it's coming. I've been waiting.

It's going to pay off.

Yeah. Your low-rise jeans and your little crop tops. Yeah. It's coming back.

The thing in the mirror behind you coming up, it's closer than it looks. Yeah. We'll be right back.

And back to the show. All right.

And then there was Girl Next Door. There was Alpha Dog. And— It's so funny. And then we got to Cowboys and Aliens.

I love that movie. Change Up. When are we getting to the Change Up?

I mean, were there more people that saw Cowboys and Aliens or Change Up?

Oh, that's hard. It might have been the same 5 people.

Let's talk about the Change Up.

Let's talk about the Change Up. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

What's your favorite memory of the Change Up?

My favorite memory is obviously sitting on your lap, topless.

With pasties. No, I mean from shooting.

I mean from the movie. Oh, okay.

That was also fun.

That was good. A good time as well.

Well, we really had the best time. I loved making that movie. Right? It was a blast.

Ryan's the coolest. David Dobkin was so frickin' awesome. Oh, Dobkin.

Yeah.

It was really fun down there in Atlanta. I loved Atlanta.

Remember when I stopped by on the set?

Yeah, Sean, you were making Three Stooges at the same time, right?

Yes, you were. And I walked to the mall to go see Green Lantern, and there's Jason and Ryan filming change-up in the middle of the day. The mall. Oh wow. And I walked right into the middle of the scene. I was like, hey guys.

Oh, they should have kept that movie. Would have been better. Yeah, with the curly wig on.

Yeah, totally. At the fountain. I think it was the fountain right in the middle of the mall.

Oh right, the fountain. You guys were so good. It was— you were so funny together.

You got a bogey over by the fountain.

Totally. I was shuffled along very quickly.

Um, and then we do Drinking Buddies, Joe Swanberg. Um, that was, uh, that was completely improvised.

Completely Completely improvised. Yeah, that's like the true Swanbergian way, which is kind of that mumblecore, which I think they hate that word. Mumblecore seems very— I don't know. It's more than that.

Mumble, mumble, mumble, mumblecore. Oh my God, mumblecore.

There's no script. There's a sort of outline, and then you just improvise. What is this for? Oh, this was a movie called Drinking Buddies.

Oh, Drinking Buddies. Isn't that similar to what they do to do on, um, uh, Curb Your Enthusiasm. Sean, you've done that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's no—

there's no written script? Kind of?

No, zero. You just got to hit the beats and then you start improvising. It's super fun.

It's so great. And it was the first time I kind of took myself seriously as potentially being able to write something or maybe direct something one day, because we were really in control of the story and that it was a collective effort. And that— and it makes it more shopping— was so fun. It makes it very real. And, and It was— we kept learning from what happened and then letting that affect the next scene. So it was like, "Oh, now this would happen to these people." It was so—

But you shot it in order?

We shot it mostly in order. And that led to then the movie that I just directed, this movie, The Invite, that I did completely in order. And it was all really started in Drinking Buddies days when I was like, "This is so fun." And it was a dream. I loved making that movie in Chicago, drinking beer.

I love that. So that was my next question. Did Drinking Buddies inspire you to want to direct? Yeah. Is that the experience?

I kind of— I wanted to before, but that was the first time that I was like, "Wait, I think I might know how to put a scene together," because I was given the chance to sort of be a part of that process. And it was— I was like, "This is the most fun.

I want that." And now having done both, obviously scripted, and this version where it's improv through an outline, do you prefer one or the other? I think there's a—

What I prefer is what I ended up getting to do on this movie, which was we workshopped the script together as cast and writers. And then we were able to shoot in order. Shoot it— Yeah, it was like a play. And it was a very well-thought-out script, ultimately, but we had kind of worked it together. And not in a full, like, Mike Leigh way, where we spend, like, a year improvising on a cliffside or something. It's not that. But it was very— It was very organic because we had come— we had really massaged it together, and then once we got on set, we knew exactly what we were doing. I like that.

Well, so tell the audience a little bit more about that one. This was called The Invite, and it's inspired by or based on— It's based on a Spanish film. Okay. So, yeah, so tell me, how did it kind of get started? Who watched the film first? Who called the other person and say, you know, "Let's do it this way"?

Okay, so Rashida Jones and Will McCormick— Love. Wrote. We love. Wrote the English language adaptation of a Spanish film that was called The People Upstairs. And it was a small Spanish film that was based on a play that you can sort of see the origins of it as a play because it's 4 people in 1 apartment, and that's the whole thing takes place. Takes place with 4 people in one apartment over one night. And the idea is that it's a kind of a dinner party gone wrong. It's about a husband and wife. In our version, it's myself and Seth Rogen, who have been kind of plagued by the sounds of our neighbors upstairs having very loud sex. And it's been driving Seth's character kind of insane. And unbeknownst to him, I've invited these people over for dinner, and he's furious because he doesn't want to have dinner with anyone. He's tired from work. But he says, "Fine, if you've ambushed me with this, I'm gonna bring I'm like, "Over my dead body you'll bring up that noise. You will not. Please just try to be normal and have a normal night so we can have friends." And so, the whole night, he's kind of threatening to bring up this thing, and they are endlessly kind of sexy and enigmatic, and they end up really blowing our minds and changing our marriage in one night.

And the other couple is? Penélope Cruz and Edward Norton. What a cast. Unbelievable cast.

It's insane.

And so, Rashida and I are like, Jada and Will wrote the English version, and I got that script, and I was like, "This is hilarious." And it was clearly an opportunity to make something in this way that I had been obsessing over since Drinking Buddies. So I was like, "Okay, we can shoot this in order, and we can really personalize this script together and workshop it and make it really specific to these actors. And we can shoot it on 35mm, and we can make it really fun." And I'm obsessed with Mike Nichols, so I was like, "This could be our Virginia Woolf." And it was— It was the best experience of my life. Sorry, Jason. I love that. And Will. I love working with you guys. This one was great. Well, yeah.

But then, so you take this great script from Rashida and Will, but then the four of you get together, the cast, and do you guys start to take and even plus the script because of the specificity of each actor? Yes.

And we really, the six of us, sat for 2 weeks. This was the thing. I was like, "Can we stop giving away rehearsal time immediately?" when we make movies. Like, it's the first thing we give up. We were just talking about this recently with somebody. And it is impossible to convince people. Really, agents. Agents are the ones who are like, "No, he's not available until the minute you start rolling the camera." And it's like, "Why? Why can't we consider it part of the job?" Can you imagine doing that for theater if it was like, "No, I'll be there for previews." Well, then what they do is then they prorate their salary.

They say, "Well, so an extra 2 weeks of work at this number." Yeah.

Tarja Hånsen's also an agent. I don't know if you knew that. Yeah. Be my agent, please.

But it really was so fun because the 6 of us sat at this table, and we tore through the script, and Rashida and Will were so game to kind of let it evolve to what these actors were thinking. God, that's fun. And it was so fun. And it was like, imagine, I mean, Seth and Edward and Penelope are all real filmmakers on their own. I mean, they're directors, they're writers, and so the opportunity to kind of get all of their good ideas and put them in there. And Edward— Edward is on another— first of all, Edward's maybe one of my favorite Smartlist guests. He's— maybe that episode is the greatest.

I love him so much. He's so smart, he's so funny.

Yeah. And people don't even— so funny. People do know it, and— but I, I'm obsessed with him. And he ended up improvising like an entire monologue in the third act of this movie that is so beautiful. And it really just— it was his gift left to us to just kind of like— he said to me, I'm gonna— I have a story I want to tell in the scene. Um, I kind of don't want to tell you what it is. And I was like, okay, yeah, how long? Like, roughly, just because we're like rolling film and I was paying for the film. And I was like, wait, just like, how—

how was it longer than a full mag?

I put a 1000-foot mag on the camera and I was like, go! And he used it. 10 minutes, right? And it was really great. But Penélope Cruz came up with the funniest set piece in the movie. And it was all with the workshopping with Rashida and Will, who would, man, just run with the punches of— Roll or run? Do you roll? You roll with the punches.

You roll with the punch, yeah. They rolled and ran.

And then you ran.

Ran with the ball.

They ran with the ball. It was the best. And then I wasn't supposed to be in the movie. The movie, but the actors bullied me into playing that part, which was very sweet of them. Well, now, how do you find that?

Do you find it efficient to direct yourself, or do you find it distracting?

I think in this case it was efficient because it was so intimate. It was almost like having one less body on set was actually really helpful. And I think that it allowed me to see things they were all doing. These geniuses were doing so many little things. That I could see, things the camera couldn't see. And so I'd be like, "Oh, okay. Now we need to come around because Seth is doing something that I actually need us to get." And so, in that way, it was good. I feel like it could be very difficult in a different situation. I also was playing someone who was, like, riddled with anxiety, which helped because I could just kind of be me.

Were they comfortable with you directing them inside a take, or did you have to wait until you yelled "Cut!" before you gave them notes?

Notes? I wasn't— I didn't do a, like, "Okay, give me a little more. Give me a little more." Like, "It's still rolling. I want more. Go deeper." I didn't do that at all. Like, in character?

Directing them in character?

Yeah. Yeah. No. I really believe in letting people kind of play and try things, and then knowing that what I really can do as a director is later on prune and adjust things in the edit. So I just think it was encouraging them to keep going. Experimenting. And with Seth, I would have to tell him he could be meaner to me because our characters, it's a very contentious relationship, and there's a lot of arguing, and he's a very non-confrontational person. So, the most direction I gave Seth was like, "You can fucking scream at me. Like, I can take it." And angry Seth is a thing to behold. 'Cause he's got it in him, it turns out.

How many days was it then?

It must've been— 2003. Amazing. Yeah, so fast. Wow, wow. And like, just the best. I mean, we were on this little soundstage, Sunset Las Palmas. It's the pink one. If you remember the opening of The Player, when he drives in, it's that. And it's iconic. It's great and tiny. And we were all— We built the set on stage, and we just banged it out. And then a year later, went to Sundance. It was so fast.

Can we get in the weeds for one second? Did you have— Did you have multiple cameras? Oh. We had one camera.

No, and then towards the last week, we brought in a second camera 'cause we wanted to just be able to— There were some scenes that they benefited from two cameras, but I didn't want to. I felt like I had been inspired by Tarantino saying, "Don't be a hack. Have one camera. Pick your perspective. Anytime you have two cameras, one shot is suffering." And I was like, "Oh, that's cool." Well, but you've got these 4 people talking all the time.

And so you've got to do it 4 times at least so that everyone gets a camera pointed at them. Yes.

We did a lot of shared frame. That's why it is very theatrical in that way, that there's a lot of times we're sharing the frame, which is why we had the best focus puller in the world who could somehow predict when someone was gonna improvise a joke.

And it's also better, I think, for comedy because there's not There's nothing worse than cutting back between, you know, from singles in comedy. I love seeing people inhabiting the same frame in a comedy. Oh, it's so thrilling because you're like, "They really did that." Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so much better. So if you take a left on Las Palmas, like, street parking, obviously— Again, Jason, I know that you want it.

Where'd the trucks go?

Also, editing comedy too, I just find— I always think, you know, I gave you, or whoever it is, they gave you, we gave you the comedy timing while you were filming it, and then the editor cuts, plays with it. It's like, "No, we gave you the timing when we were filming it." That's what it is. Exactly.

It's a tough thing to maintain.

Yeah. God, it's so hard.

That's why oners are so good, 'cause they're just fully intact. But you had so much technique and know-how and execution right out of the gate with Booksmart. It was just like a stunning accomplishment.

That must have felt so good.

The movie's so good. That was your first movie.

The movie you directed? Yeah.

That was my first. It's insane. I think that it really was because my proxy film school, 'cause I didn't go to college, didn't go to film school, and I was always insecure about that lack of education. And I think that being on so many sets as an actor, I just paid attention to everything. And I just tried to absorb it. But yeah, I think book smart— I think often your first movie is the one you've been building to. You're building up for your entire life, and you put all of your ideas into it, and you have so much to give, and you're lucky if it resonates with people. And I got so lucky because it happened to hit, you know, a place in a lot of people's kind of shared trauma of adolescence. That's the thing I love about high school movies. But even just—

but just the making of it, Olivia, like, you know, and the stuff that you wouldn't have been around to observe to observe and to sort of cherry-pick from these great directors. All this post-Incredibleness in that film, the editing style, the choice in the use of music and stuff like— that's all shit that people usually need like a handful of movies under their belt before they really kind of— I don't know.

I'm so happy. Again, the science of it is you're born with it. You're born with it.

Yeah, we're gonna cut you open and take a look.

You're born with it.

Get in there. Yeah. I, I love it. It's— I'm a much better director than actor, but I love acting too. But directing— are you— I— guys, tell me, am I wrong? No, I—

no, I just— you paused after you said that just to leave room.

So Olivia, what, what, what, what's going on when you're not working?

Pickleball or what? Oh no, I was— should I learn it? Fuck no. I was in Central Park the other day and they were playing it, and someone was playing like Jimmy Hendrix on the stereo, and like everybody was playing pickleball, and I was like, what a beautiful hobby that I don't do, but I like to watch. Yeah.

Um, what is, what is the hobby someone would be, uh, surprised to learn that you've got? It's just us, no one's listening.

It's just between us gals. Yeah.

Or the pastime, or like the guilty TV, or the thing. Do you have a thing that you do you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm wasting my time doing this?

I don't really. I don't. I, I mean, hobbies, yeah. I mean, I feel like I'm— I really recently, it's like I'm working or I'm mothering.

Yeah, it's the dumbest thing that you do because like the, you know, the directing is like you— it's like you can't stop thinking because you— there's never— you never have it all figured out. So like, what do you do that, that requires zero thinking? Do you ever just stare at the television and— oh my God, talk to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love—

will you get wrapped up in crap? Yeah.

Oh yeah, I just watched Love Is Blind. Did you watch Love Is Blind? So good.

I did 4 hours of Below Deck yesterday. You did? I did 4 full hours of Below Deck yesterday. I did 90 Day Fiancé before the 90 days.

I've done a bunch of episodes.

Wow. Olivia, what—

what— any reality at all?

I, I mean, I love Love on the Spectrum. That is— that makes me cry, and I love it so much. Incredible. And, um, No, I mean, I love Housewives, but I think that for me, it's like—

Oh, any city on Housewives.

I like Beverly Hills, but I think that any city will do it for me. Yeah. But I think that, like, I just watched all of Love Story, and I got really into it. What's that? That's the Ryan Murphy.

That's the Caroline Zep. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Got really into that. And it's not quite reality TV, but you still feel like a little— there's something a little guilty pleasure about it.

I haven't watched that, but the only bummer about it about that love story to me is that it's made—

they die in the end.

No, it's made Odeon really busy again in Tribeca. Oh my God, that's true. All these people are coming.

What the fuck? Oh, that's the restaurant we ate at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, before we let you go, because we're coming up on the end here, this is crazy. Holy shit. Um, talk to us about, um, the new— another new thing coming up called I Want sex. I do.

I want your sex, right?

All right, it is just— got our clip.

That is— I want it. That is Greg Araki, who is a, a real, like, very cool filmmaker who is a real LA filmmaker. He is, um, or an auteur, and wild. I mean, very, very much an individual. And I play a dominant I play Dominatrix, and of course, and I got to—

And you're dominating the sweet little Cooper Hoffman. Cooper Hoffman! You know, he doesn't deserve to get whipped.

He loved it. He's the best. And it is a very, very campy, fun movie. And it was really cool because when we were at Sundance with The Invite, I Want Your Sex premiered on Friday, and The Invite was Saturday. And I just felt so lucky to be able to— That's amazing. Like, be a part of that. It's part of this fun business where we get to tell all these crazy stories. And they both got bought magically. And so, and they're coming out right after each other. And it's so fun. Yeah, it's like invite in the mail.

So, yeah, so I Want Your Sex comes out July 23rd, which is in about 10 days from this air date here. And the invite is out. Invite's already out. Yeah, it came out June 26th. So, wow.

June 26th is my birthday. Ah, shoo! You're not on my birthday, guys. That's what we've planned. No, we haven't. You did clap back. We saw it, yeah, on my birthday. That was my birthday gift.

And you had the best time, and everyone laughed so hard.

I loved the invite. Yes, I loved it.

Oh, I'm glad you loved it. Your favorite film? Come on. Of all three?

You liked the beginning, and you loved the middle, but it was the end that got you. Yeah, yeah, really.

You shed a tear.

Yeah. I walked out not dry.

And then we're gonna all look forward to the behemoth with sweet, sweet Willie Arnett coming out sometime next year. Next year, right? At some point. Meanwhile, you're probably hard at work, um, getting ready to direct your next incredible movie. We're all waiting for it. Keep jamming.

Please be in it. You're the best.

Can you, can you just give us a hint of what you're working on, or area, or no?

A comedy. It's a, it's a Christmas comedy.

I'm in. I'm already in.

I love a Christmas comedy.

You should see Sean play an elf. He did it with Kenny Rogers. He was on the road with Kenny Rogers.

Yeah, please come.

I'll send myself tape over with real good lighting. Yes, I'll actually put myself in a winter wonderland just so you really get it.

Yeah, yeah, please. Yeah, yeah, great. What was your line?

Santa, I don't know when to hold him or when to fold him.

Fold him. What was your line? That's what it was, that's what it was.

Um, um, we love you, Olivia. Thank you for doing this.

Thank you for having me. What a dream.

And congrats on everything.

Yeah, super, super congrats. Thank you. Keep going. Girl. Thanks. Bye. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Wow, that's the incredibly charming Olivia Wilde. Yeah, love her. Talent to match. I mean, you can tell she's funny, you know.

She's super funny. Super funny. So smart. So, so smart. And, and so cool.

I'm just so excited that she's directing and that, and that it's like she could like just do it for forever, you know? Like, yeah, she's incredible at every gear.

She's got every gear. She's got a writer, director, actor, and they're all working.

They're all working. Yeah, I know.

I'd love to have an A gear. Would be nice. A gear. She's got them all, you know?

Yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing with your life?

Well, I don't know, man. I'll tell you what I am doing on October 17th.

What do you— what's that, huh?

Well, if you go to smartless.com/live, you'll find out what I'm doing, and it has to do with the holidays. I'll just say that. I'll just say that. About the Hollywood Bowl. Say that smartless.com/live has to do with the Hollywood Bowl. And you know what, I'm going to invite you guys to join me. I'm available. Yeah, what are we going to be doing? We're going to do a live Smartless show at the Hollywood Bowl. Smartless.com/live on October 17th. It's going to be so— it's going to be off the Hollywood Bowl.

Oh wow, listen, what we're gonna do is we're gonna, uh, you know, the New York—

okay, here we go.

Finally, Jason's got one.

New York's got the apple, LA's got the orange. And so what we're gonna do is since, uh, you know, the Hollywood Bowl is such a big part of LA, we're We're gonna go ahead and take up out of the orange, we're gonna take a big bite. That was the worst ever.

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