Transcript of Caleb Williams, Joel Klatt, USMNT Loses To Turkey, National Sports Podcast Rapid Fire, Mt Rushmore Of Household Appliances + Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee, it's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to Rescue, a nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new ready-to-drink cans to help fund 1,000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11-ounce can delivers smooth, drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Built for mornings, long days, and everything in between. Drink Stella Blue, fuel your day, and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours now at stellabluecoffee.com, Amazon, and select retailers nationwide. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we've got a twofer for the people, a great one. Caleb Williams, QB1 of the Chicago Bears, on the show, and our good friend Joel Klatt on the show as well. We got the, the COVID of Madden and the voice of the college football game on the same show.

We're also doing the Mount Rushmore of best household appliances. We're going to talk U.S. soccer. We're going to talk more World Cup. We've got— maybe I'm going to do a rapid fire for you guys of topics at the top of the show. National Sports Podcast. We have some trades that happened. LaMelo Ball going to the Timberwolves. And then we're going to finish up with Fire Fest of the Week, and it's all brought to you by our friends at José Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't, can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game. The room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time. Suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard You can barely catch your breath. That's the Cuervo Effect, a signal everybody understands, a moment that anyone can join, and a good time that just grows. All you have to do is keep it Cuervo. Okay, let's go! Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, June 26th, and boys, well, we're watching the end of the US game right now.

We will update it. It's 2-2 right now with 7 minutes of stoppage time. It's a brace brace, brace brace. Uh, so while we wait to see how this ends And reminder, if we end up, you know, tying this game, uh, listen, it was, it was a game we didn't care about.

This is a, this is the preseason game. We're trying to do vanilla offense. Don't let Bosnia see anything on tape. Keep it close to the vest. Yeah, meaningless win, right?

So don't worry about that. If we end up winning, we're the best ever, and we continue to be there.

And even with our backups, we're the best.

Yes.

Yeah, I will say that our, uh, our second stringers, there's a pretty big fall-off between the talent level of our starters and I'd say most of our, most of our backups, especially on the defensive end. Um, it was not— it didn't, it didn't look inspiring. Yeah, we are, we are not a deep team.

All right, so let's do some, uh, National Sports Podcast rapid fire before we, uh, conclude this game. Before we actually do that, uh, by the way, you can buy— if you are Barnes Noble rewards member, 25% off part of my book, which is coming out in August. You can do it right now. So go. And it helps us a lot when we're trying— we're trying to become New York Times bestsellers so that one, you know, when someone says, hey, what's that bullshit you're listening to? Like, I'm listening to a bunch of New York Times bestsellers.

Also, that would technically make, make Zach a New York Times bestseller.

Right. So if you are Barnes Noble's member, reward member. It's free to join, 25% off, uh, if you buy it right now on Barnes Noble. Also, Stella Blue Coffee is Amazon Prime Day, one more day of Amazon Prime Day, up to 24% off. All right, LaMelo Ball gets traded to the Timberwolves. I actually want to start with Zach here because Zach, I think, might be the biggest LaMelo Ball fan in this room.

I really enjoyed watching LaMelo Ball play basketball.

Yeah, yeah, he feels like Zach— Zach could fit in with the teens walking around with the LaMelo Ball, uh, jersey.

Yeah, there's a bunch of really sad, sad youngsters in Charlotte today.

I actually, I actually feel bad for Hornets fans because that was the most exciting Hornets season in a very long time. And you could obviously make the argument, well, LaMelo Ball has his faults and he also gets injured, but it's like, okay, now we're just gonna kick the can down the road and just go for some swaps and, and, uh, Nas Reid.

Yep.

And I like it for the Timberwolves in a weird way because the, the big story for the Timberwolves coming out of these last playoffs is Anthony Edwards being endlessly frustrated with being double-teamed by, uh, better defensive teams the minute he comes across half court. Now they have someone who can take the pressure off him that can handle the ball, give Anthony Edwards more space. Will LaMelo Ball be healthy? I don't know. But I'm, I'm kind of, I'm kind of in on this for the Timberwolves.

I think it instantly makes the Timberwolves like the most interesting team because I have no idea what the fuck is going to happen with this combination.

Yeah.

I also think that this is a team that would benefit tremendously from having a guy like Nas Reid on it. Yeah, right. Like, it's kind of ironic they traded away the one guy that I think would provide the perfect amount of stability on this team. And somebody that I think LaMelo Ball would play really well with. But now he's in Charlotte. I think the Hornets— you could make the argument that this might be good for Kneippel. Yeah, they're building around Khan. Yeah.

And I think they re-signed Kobe White. Yeah, Hornets did. And yeah, they get some pick swaps. Maybe they're thinking, hey, there's a chance Anthony Edwards gets frustrated in Minnesota and asks out, and these pick swaps could be very, very valuable.

They got a lot of pick swaps and a lot of them start in like 2030, 2032. Yep. Way in the future. Big Cat, I got a question for you. You know, you know A-Rod pretty well.

Yeah.

Does this seem like a move that A-Rod would, would help to instigate as an owner of the Timberwolves?

What do you mean?

I feel like this is a splash move. Like, A-Rod. Yeah.

Well, they're going in the luxury tax.

Yeah. And he's like, there are spending and he's like, this is going to be good for, for overall impressions and building the branding of the Timberwolves.

I think it's— I see what you're saying. Definitely a little of that. I really think it's like they, they, they had to find a way to, to unlock Anthony Edwards, and, and they had to find a way to get pressure off him with this, with, with the ball handler. And if they went back into the playoffs when their current construction— I mean, they, you know, they already dumped Julius Randle. Like, they're like, we gotta just make sure that, that Anthony Edwards can, can have the space to do what he needs to do. And that's the shot they're taking, and they're going to be fun. But yeah, I do feel bad for Hornets fans.

Definitely gonna be fun.

All right, rapid fire. Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift wedding. Is it happening at MSG? It seems like it is.

It sounds like it is. Apparently, a wedding company has filed for a lot of permits to close down all the streets around Madison Square Garden for a couple of days.

Okay.

When the wedding is allegedly going to happen. And I think it is. I think, I think it's going to happen. I know that you were skeptical. Well, I, I think it's happening.

So I am still skeptical. And I talked to our number one Swifty at Barstool Sports, Kelly Keeg. She said that the The wedding itself is not going to happen at MSG. The party is happening at MSG with a bunch of live music.

I don't want— I don't want them to skate on a technicality.

No, they're hoping because if you have your wedding at MSG, that's tacky.

Yes, tacky. I think they're having a wedding at a train station. Yeah, I think they're having a wedding where a guy just died. They're going to have a— they're going to have a wedding. Yeah, beforehand. They're going to do a ceremony, but they're also going to do a ceremony at MSG.

Yeah, they're having a wedding where a Nazi rally took place.

That's very true.

Look it up.

The American Boondock.

Yeah. Yeah.

Charles Lindbergh spoke there.

Yeah.

Pretty crazy.

Yeah.

They have a wedding. And I still think if you're going to go tacky, go tacky all the way. Sell tickets to it. Tickets would probably go for thousands and tens of thousands of dollars and then put it on pay-per-view and let people stream it. I think Swifties would pay probably $500 to stream this. It would be— it would make the royal wedding look like a tea party.

Austin Reeves, $185 million max contract with the Lakers. He also was playing. We just lost the game.

We don't care. That fucking exhibition doesn't matter. I'm glad you know what? It's good that we lost this game. You can't get complacent. Can't do it.

That sucked.

This is fine.

That still sucks.

It doesn't matter, but it still sucked. Bad way to lose. Doesn't matter. I'm not fazed by it. Here's what— here's what I'm really worried about is I know that the Hank Lockwoods of the world—

I'm devastated.

Look at me.

I think they've built this.

Look at him.

You've been building—

wearing the same outfit.

Offsides.

Oh, please.

No.

Is it offsides?

No, they're the guy that scored. Um, the Hank Lockwoods of the world have been carefully constructing their little straw men. I gotta say something first.

I'm interrupting you.

I don't care.

All right, go ahead, say something. This, like, is— this whole week you guys have gaslit me to the point where I have also thought like I was talking trash about this US soccer team. I listened back. I never said anything bad about the US soccer team.

I disagree.

Ever. At any point.

No, no, no, no.

And it's turned into you being like, Hank hates America.

Not true.

Hank hates soccer.

None of this is—

then you say it online and then everyone says it to me and it's like I know I'm not going to let you get away with lying.

Every time I've talked about U.S. soccer for the last—

soccer?

No, no, no, no. I'm not.

I'm not going to let you get away.

Every time I talk about soccer, the U.S.

national team for the past 2 years, you've been like, oh, roll your eyes. Oh, well, we suck. But you have been extremely negative about U.S. soccer. And for you to now sit here and say with a straight face that you've never said anything bad about this week. Not disrespectful. Oh, not just us in this room. Everybody that owns a cell phone that's capable of listening to the sound of your voice right now.

PFT, I think what you're confused about here is he's now making it a technicality of this week.

Don't care.

This week. All that, all that shit in the past.

You've said so much.

Forget it.

So much stuff. No. And they've been carefully constructing a straw man. And he can't wait to be like, I thought you said we're the best team in the world. You've been deliberately filing away positive things that we've said so that you can be like, oh, we lost, but wait, I thought that we were number one. I know what you're doing, and I want to get ahead of it, and I'm not going to let you do it.

I don't—

like, I would love to troll this game. Like, the fact that they played this game is so stupid.

I actually agree with that.

Completely irrelevant. The fact that we waited to record till after this game ridiculous.

But I—

this—

there's nothing to troll about. It's a— it's literally a preseason game. So who cares?

Listen, I made that point the other day. I thought that like FIFA changing the, the tiebreak— tiebreaking rules the way they did is so stupid because you had a game, Turkey was eliminated, we are already in the next round. It's dumb. They— they— it's, it's not like it's not done.

Next round before the game started.

It's not telling that they— we played it. It's dumb that they changed those rules.

Yeah, but on the other hand, head-to-head should matter.

Yeah, but, but it's like when you, when you do head-to-head with only 3 games, it's like you're gonna have a bunch of games that don't matter.

Yeah, but with a tie— I know what you're saying about the games not mattering, but when there's ties, I think the best way— I mean, we talked about this for, for weeks in college football season. There you play the games for real. At some point, right, what happens on the field has to—

the difference is though they play 12-game season, right?

I still think that— I think it's the right thing to do in terms of head-to-head mattering more. I think it does have the— but it's just going to end up unintentional result.

Yeah.

Bad result of having some games not mean a lot.

So, so many of these round of 30 or group stage finales don't mean shit. It's just we have a certain amount of World Cup games that were robbed of, you know, probably like 6 or 7 because of this.

OK, so I just want to say that for the, for the US team, like, we're on to Bosnia. Yeah, Bosnia. That's all that matters.

We—

it's personal. They knocked Italy out.

Yeah.

So this is our— not just Bosnia and Herzegovina. Thank you, Hank. They are the team that knocked the Italians out. This is personal. We got your back, Italy. Yeah. The US is coming in to clean it up.

So, Hank, are you Team USA now or are you Bosnia? Well, no, I know right this second, but like next week, we'll be watching the game.

No.

Oh, I—

it's not my fault Max planned a wedding on a fucking island on the same day the US is playing.

Like, to be fair, the wedding is on Friday, the game is Wednesday night, but we're going to be on an island, so maybe, maybe I might—

there's no TVs there.

Okay, there's no wedding obligation.

I just want that crystal clear. I might be watching the game.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Entire rant that we can't let you in.

I didn't—

being like, do you— are you gonna watch? No.

Whatever Hank says. But this is the thing, whatever—

this is the thing, I, I have been so honest upfront and like since the day this show was started. Yeah, I do not care about soccer. I don't know why people get so mad when I say that. Like, I'm not gonna be fake and be like, oh my God, USA soccer. Like, it's not personal, okay? I don't like soccer. I don't know why it bothers people. I genuinely do not understand why me not liking soccer makes people so upset because it's like every sport, because you try to take away other people's joy of soccer.

That's the problem. Yes, I know that was, that was a yes.

And it's no, because I'm going back to this whole thing. It's like I just get mad. I just like, it's like I told you, I'm just like, it's perform— like people are like acting like they're these big soccer fans and then it's like you just don't like people in our office.

There's like 3, there's 3 guys that Hank is upset with.

It was like a minor thing that I said that has turned into something that's like me turning into like a communist, which is like, it's annoying. I don't like— go, go, go USA. I'll be rooting for USA. I will not be rooting against Bosnia. For Bosnia.

Wait, what?

I will not be rooting for Bosnia.

What about Herzegovina?

Yeah.

Hank, I think there's a certain amount of people who are listening to this show right now who agree with you. So I'm happy that you give them a voice.

Of course, there's probably like 10%, 15% maybe of the listeners that are just like, I wish they'd quit talking about soccer. It's gay.

Sure.

And that's fine. I don't think that, but I love rooting for the US in the World Cup and that's, that's not going to change. But when I just want to say though, that when Hank starts to wind up, when he gets into his full stretch windup from the mound and he starts to say, you guys have gaslit me, that's when you know that you're about to be on the receiving end of some major league gaslighting from Hank.

We have a gaslight off.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

I like where you stand, Hank. I don't agree with it, but I appreciate your point of view. We need that.

Speaking of gay soccer, let's also show some respect for the Iran-Egypt Pride match that's happening.

Oh, they're doing a Pride match.

Yeah, they have the Pride— the FIFA Pride match is Iran versus Egypt.

That's perfect.

And I'm— yeah, the players are definitely not allowed to No, take part in that.

I—

we were talking about it, watching this game today. The one downside of the World Cup being in the US is they just show way too many celebrities and not enough hot chicks. Yeah, that's what we were saying earlier on the stream. The World Cup at its finest is like fat English dudes with belly tats, old men crying. And, and, and natties and fatty natties.

Big natural.

Yeah. And like, that's— and we get robbed of it because now it's like, hey, look, there's Brad Pitt. Oh, cool. There's Ashton Kutcher.

There's nobody that I want to see less than Ashton Kutcher when I'm watching a soccer game.

I don't care about the celebrities.

Yeah.

Give me the next—

the natural—

big Instagram model that no one knows about from a country far, far away.

And like a superfan from a country that I've never heard of until this tournament.

Yeah.

Speaking of super fans, the dude from, from Congo, have you seen him?

Yeah.

The guy that stands still like a statue of Lumumba the entire time. That dude rocks. That dude's awesome.

He's also a perfect example of like, we're not so dissimilar because so for people who haven't seen it, there's a fan from Congo that stands perfectly still for the entire game in the stands. He's no different than like when we change our seats on the couch. In the gambling cave. We're like, oh, fuck, I got to go stand outside and like watch through my fingers. They were just all doing it on vibes. He said he's just trying to give him strength.

He's giving him strength. He's posing as a statue of Lumumba. And I looked up who Lumumba was and I read about like this dude's life. Dude was a gangster.

Yeah.

And then when they— it took like 12 people to kill him. When they killed him, they dissolved his body in a vat of acid. The Belgians did. All they ever got back from this guy was a tooth. Damn. And this guy's like, if I can, if I can channel his energy during a game, then maybe other people will learn who Lumumba was.

Yeah. Respect. We also had the Ghana witch doctor has lifted his curse on Harry Kane. So England, Harry Kane should be good.

I would like to discuss some things, some business-wise with the Ghana witch doctor.

Okay.

Regarding Bosnia and or Herzegovina. My DMs are open.

Are you good, Hank?

Hank's not good.

Hank's been fired up today.

I like it. I like it. I like it.

I am literally just sitting here and I like it.

It's been a long day.

I like you sitting.

I don't like—

you sit well.

Thanks.

You're welcome. OK, let's, let's do some more rapid fire and then we're going to get to Mount Rushmore of Household Items, and we also have Caleb Williams and Joel Klatt. Two great interviews. Okay, we are brought to you by DraftKings. This summer, the Cup is taking over the US, and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, Every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers sign up with code TAKE, spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Okay, back to rapid fire. You guys ready? National Sports Podcast. Next up, we're just not going to have baseball next year.

Yeah, I saw the, the offer that was made by the owners. They want a hard cap. Ah, the hardest cap.

Yeah. So in its next CBA, the league is proposing a max contract length of 5 years for free agent players switching teams, 6 years to retain their own players, no deferred contracts, qualifying offers gone to also 5 years to free agency for players 30 or older. It just feels like we're so far away. I don't know what— what are we going to do? Can we just do another World Cup? That's the worst. Like, like if we lose baseball, we're going to have to figure out what to do in the summer.

So there's no Summer Olympics next year, is there? No, no, no.

It's an odd year.

So there's nothing. No, you got nothing next.

Hank, no Euros, right?

Nothing next summer.

I don't know what Euros is.

It's the— it's basically the World Cup for Europe.

Got it.

Yeah, we have no sports, no Women's World Cup. No, we have nothing. We need something.

We're in trouble.

We're going to say memes, memes, WNBA, WNBA.

Well, that's also on—

they're trying to get— yeah, that's also the National Sports Podcast Hot Minute because they're trying to get Caitlin Clark dead.

Can I just— can I say something about the Caitlin Clark situation? I would like to opt out of all Caitlin Clark discourse. Until she wins something. Why are we wasting all this time with the big one talking about a loser? She's never won. She's never won a title.

Yes, takes back.

Hey, yes, am I right?

Let's go, Hank!

We're all ringing our hands. Oh, they're killing the girls. Hey, they're killing—

oh no, they're killing—

oh, he's reversing it on us.

He just hit us with the Uno reverse. He's now saying you're making the same point for the US men's—

no, that's completely different because that's—

I am also doing the same thing. I— what you just said spoke to me so much. I will do the same thing. That was a more moves.

It's not. Big Cat's kissing up to you.

It's not.

No, that was the—

it makes anything.

We're rooting for our country. Caitlin Clark hasn't won anything. That's my point. And we don't talk about the US like they're the best team in the world. We do talk about Caitlin.

We don't.

That's your straw man. There's the straw man Hank's been building.

I definitely—

I knew he'd come up. I knew I'd see that little fella. Caitlin hasn't won anything yet.

You got to give Hank credit when he makes a good fun point.

I'm glad that Hank's excited now.

That was a funny point by Hank to be animated. He got you on that one for a second.

I appreciate that Hank sprung off, off the couch a little bit.

Yes.

Caitlin Clark got choked out. And also they did like a 30-year WNBA, you know, like calendar or something. And Caitlin Clark just wasn't on it.

So the calendar again, if people are diving deep into calendars, That calendar was because of her sponsorship obligations. Oh yeah. So they looked at that. There's a lot of shitty players that are on that calendar.

Okay.

And Sophie Cunningham was on there from her team. This is why Caitlin Clark makes everybody lose their minds.

They are, though, like, it is kind of crazy that they aren't like— they should be protecting their cash cow.

They did.

They did change the rules.

Yeah.

For her.

They should be. I mean, she does make them the most amount of money.

There's, there's a lot of people that are very jealous of her. A lot of people in the WNBA that clearly go after her and forces on our team need to step up. Why are we paying Sophie Cunningham all this money? Like, that's when you get in there, you start throwing some elbows.

Yeah. All right. Next one, Terry and Arnold. That's bad. Okay, next one after that.

Hey, folks, you heard this one. Is a lockdown corner. Oh, boy.

I just kept reading it being like, wait, what?

Huh?

If you—

okay, we are an anti-kidnapping podcast. I want to say that from the top. Cut and dry anti-kidnapping. That said, if you're going to kidnap somebody for stealing your jewelry, you're going to want to make sure that the people you kidnap are actually the guys that stole your jewelry.

But also, that said, it feels like they had their shit together outside of finding the right people.

True. That comms were great.

Didn't you say they were like allegedly live streaming or something?

Yeah.

No, no, they were. I think they were not live streaming out to the world. They were live streaming like to each other, to each other.

So they had comms going. Yeah, like they had a live cam.

Don't do not.

Allegedly bad, bad.

Everything bad.

Again, don't kidnap.

Wait. Oh, but they— it seems like they'd done it maybe before because they were, they were really tight with it.

They obviously not that tight. They got caught.

Well, they got— he got snitched on.

So that's Chris Carter.

Got to get a fall, man.

That's the other thing is if you find yourself in a situation where you get a bunch of jewelry stolen and you think you know who did it and you go to the police and you file a police report and you tell them, hey, somebody stole my jewelry, that's not the best time to then go after the guys that you just told the police about because they know that you are the one with a motive. And then also, if you do it, you got to want to make sure that the guys that help you don't snitch you out later. And then also, if that happens, you're going to want to make sure that you don't find yourself in a place where there's no one left for you to snitch on. So it seems like Terrion Arnold hit. He went over on all those instructions. Yeah. But again, this could all be prevented if you just follow our simple rules and don't kidnap anybody.

Yes.

No kidnapping. Oh, back to Austin Reeves. He got his max contract, $185 million. He was on the golf course when it happened. Live reaction, which— that was cool. Like, you know, pretty, pretty awesome to see someone like, hey, guess what? You have $185 million guaranteed. PFT, were you tagged at all and people saying, hey, that's not the word now, Treyung's not the worst contract?

Yeah, like a million, a million different times. Listen, it might be a good contract, might not be a good contract.

We don't know.

Beautiful thing about sports is we get to find out.

I think Wendy said that they could trade that with a second round pick.

Okay, that's good.

Thanks, Wendy.

Yeah, well, next time we have Wendy on, he'll, he'll walk that back.

You're going to— he's going to hear from you.

He's going to walk that one back.

He's going to hear from you big time. Okay. Anything else?

Yeah. Our long national nightmare is over. Oh, Brian Kelly is going to be on TV next year.

Yes.

So promises made, promises delivered. They heard what we wanted, America. And he's going to be calling Mountain West games, maybe in the booth, actually.

Yeah.

Boogermobile.

Mm-hmm.

Brian Kelly. Mm-hmm.

The things no one wanted or asked for. Brian Kelly on TV. But all right, so go ahead.

I was gonna say my theory about this is why would Brian Kelly take a Mountain West assignment? If you just look at the towns, the college towns that the Mountain West has, some really good golf, some absolutely incredible. And you can hit far for Mountain West.

You can hit far.

Yes.

The only positive spin zone I have for Brian Kelly on TV because I don't want to watch Brian Kelly on TV. Is if he embraces the Jim Boeheim, I'm just a grumpy dude and I fucking hate doing this, but I had to keep my name relevant role. I get a kick out of those guys.

Yeah.

Jim Boeheim, if you've ever watched Jim Boeheim call a college basketball game, he's— he's miserable. Yeah, miserable.

I do respect—

Brian Kelly can do that.

I do respect coaches that do that, that hate the media while they're coaching, and then they get into the media and they continue to hate the media. I don't like the guys that get in the media and they all of a sudden, like, change everything.

Yeah.

Okay. I think that's— oh, I had a no duh. What?

You guys got to get on here, don't you?

No, no, we're good. I thought 11:30.

Oh, someone told me it was 11:20.

No, no, we're good. No, keep it on. Keep it on. Keep, keep, keep this in.

We're—

PFT and I are going on Men in Blazers, which you can go watch. Probably going to say the same shit. Because it's late.

A lot of the same shit.

And it's, it's late. I'm going to say the hot girls thing for sure. And maybe we'll have Hank. Do you want to join with us?

No.

We could just do the fight again in front of them.

Yeah, it'll make everyone uncomfortable.

I don't like— I just don't. I would— I just remove me from the soccer discourse. I don't need to be like, take them out. You guys can talk soccer.

He wants that.

I'm not going to hate.

Okay.

Wants out. Maybe, maybe mute the word soccer.

I don't mind seeing it. I just don't like it. Has nothing to do with— I just don't—

you just don't want to be involved.

I—

yeah.

Doesn't concern you, right? Keep, keep, keep all that over there.

Soccer. Keep, keep Hank's name out of your lips.

You guys keep my name off. Oh, it's us when talking soccer.

We got to keep Hank's lips off soccer.

Keep Hank from getting his lips on those balls. What is it? What's this one called?

Well, what's this ball called? Was it the Trianda?

OK, that is a lame thing that they do where they just name every soccer ball. Why are we naming it every time?

I'd like them to bring back the old black and white with the pentagons on it.

Yeah, that would be cool.

OK, maybe Saudi Arabia would be better at kicking.

Oh yeah. My no duh was The Adam Silver saying the goal over time has been, and I've said it, to be more NFL-like where you believe your team has a shot. What does he watch?

The NFL.

There's a lot of teams that don't feel like they have a shot every single year.

A lot of dogshit teams.

Yeah.

I think what he, what he means by that is that he wished, he wishes that basketball was harder to tank in like the NFL. You see it every year. It's one or two teams that are really good at tanking that are able to field a team that just is, uh, non-competitive on purpose because there's so many people on an NFL roster and they're all playing for the next contract. It's hard to tell a team to tank in football. And he wishes that he had that same issue in basketball.

And he also likes the parody, which I, I can't— like, parody's fun to a point, but dynasties are what get people, you know, upset and passionate, like dynasties or, you know, teams of the decade and all that stuff. So you can't have just a new winner every single year. You need a couple dynasties. Okay, let's, let's go to Mount Rushmore of household appliances. And we have Caleb Williams, Joel Klatt, and Firefest. Okay, it is Mount Rushmore time. It is brought to you by Microsoft. This segment is sponsored by Microsoft 365 Copilot. What if you could add an AI assistant to your work without leaving your workflow? Built into Microsoft Word, Excel, and Outlook, Copilot works where you work, helping you do more in the apps you already use. In Word, Copilot helps turn scattered notes into a first draft. In Excel, it generates insights from your data. And in Outlook, it cuts through the noise to get you up to speed faster. The apps you know go further with Copilot. Learn more at M365copilot.com/work. Okay, boys, the kumbaya Mount Rushmore. We're tied all the way around. It is the Mount Rushmore of home appliances. Yeah, I was, I was trying in my head to figure out, guys, I was going to say a redundant thing.

I was going to say Mount Rushmore of best home appliances, but that would be the Mount Rushmore, would it not? Yeah, it would.

Yeah, this Mount Rushmore. I think it's been a great Mount Rushmore season so far.

I feel like we haven't even started.

Yeah, it's like, you know, MLB season doesn't start till like after the All-Star.

So the ivy's green.

My Rushmore season doesn't start till after Fourth of July.

Yeah, but right now we're all on pace to tie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Soccer.

Yeah. Soccer. We draw it. Henry, you are up first.

Not just me, but some— Oh, I forgot.

Yeah. Zach's on your team, too. Jesus.

And then I'm second.

And then we're third.

And you guys are third.

Yeah, we're third. Memes, by the way. I'm not going to— No, you know what? Let's have—

Yeah, no, let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's say he's being— He's being brutal today.

Memes, what's been going on? No one deserved to be slapped more than Hank by Max the other day.

He did.

I agree with you.

You were yelling.

You're all—

You're sitting in your chair and Zach's going to get water and you're like, Zach, hurry up, gotta get water.

I know. I said Zach and Hank sucking Zach's dick at the water.

Station.

I'm helping him. Like, you could learn a thing or two about helping out your coworkers.

Were you helping every day?

Hmm?

You were sucking his dick?

No, I was just— I was giving him a hand. I like a good friend.

Listen, we're going to— we got to keep the 3-man team. Might be at a little bit of disadvantage. There's a lot of— there's only one ball. So we're— I had a very busy day. I went from thing to thing to thing. We have Joel. Shout out Joel, who brings his truck here and gives us all haircuts. I think Hank got a haircut. Max got a haircut. I had a 20-minute window to get a haircut, so I told Memes and Max, let's meet in Joel's truck and we can just talk about Mount Rushmore. Then Memes just said to Max, I already said— I already texted my picks. I don't need to meet.

Yeah, I don't know if you know this.

Yeah, he's not trying to move today.

I don't know if you heard. You've been away for a while. He doesn't try and choose anymore.

Well, no, you guys are— you guys are better at it. And then I said my list. No, that was definitely—

that is not true. That is not true.

Listen, we talk it through as a team and we had a beautiful time in the truck.

Tell you what, my locker room is having a great time. Yeah, we're all on the same page over here.

All right, Mount Rushmore of home appliances.

Henry, uh, for our 1-1 pick, we are going to go with the refrigerator.

That's a good pick. Good pick, Hank. Goodbye.

I don't know what Zach has written on this list.

Okay. Wow. Not kombaya.

No, no.

Like, I don't think it's— I think I can say it because I don't think this is a thing.

I don't think it's a house appliance.

Or it just says aircon.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm up second.

And for my first pick, what the hell was that?

Because it's aircon.

That's the clear 1-1.

I mean, what it is.

I'm taking air conditioning. It was number 1 on my list anyway.

It was number 1 on our list by a mile.

It's the best invention maybe of all time. Time.

But like, you won't— you don't need— you need a refrigerator 365 days a year. You don't need an air conditioner 365 days a year.

If you didn't have an air conditioning, I'd say like 40% of the people that listen to us would die.

No, you could have fans. I grew up without air conditioning in my house.

Well, yeah, I mean, if you live like in the north, like very far up north. But if you live anywhere south—

Massachusetts isn't very far up north.

Mass— it's pretty far north.

You just get fans.

I'm just shocked that you didn't know what aircon was.

I— yeah, once I said it out loud, we're burying the lead here.

Forget arguing about air conditioning because air conditioning is a clear top pick in this draft. Aircon. Zach, I apologize on behalf of Hank.

No, it's an easy mistake. It is full word at the top of the list, but then that's like a third list we were trying to reorganize last minute, what numbers we wanted to go with which, so it wasn't fully spelled out there. Fridges though, very important. You can just leave your doors and windows open if you're trying to catch a breeze, even in the summer though, when it comes to air conditioning.

No, there's no— I One of the best feelings in the entire— if we did a Mount Rushmore of feelings, close to the top would be the feeling on a hot day when you walk into air conditioning.

But like, if you don't— if you don't have an air conditioner, you can— you can be fine. If you don't have a refrigerator, you can't do anything.

You can walk around smelly like the French.

Again, like, I— I didn't have air conditioner until I was an adult.

So you were smelly?

No, fans.

You live by the sea.

I think you probably smelled a little bit. Shower. Yeah. No, you told us showers don't work.

No, I said soap doesn't work. Shampoo. Shampoo should work under your— for your armpits.

Yeah, that's right.

Which is true.

What do we do, boys? We knew it was going to go that way.

3-4. Although 3-10.

I mean, this is the debate we had for 25 minutes. You—

I was— I was— I was off on this. It's 2 against 1. So let's go 310.

All right.

So we did have like a top 3 and AC and refrigerator were 1 and 2. And we think that microwave is number 3 because you need the microwave for everything. It's— you use it way more than you realize. It's the microwave. You got to use it. And then our second pick is going to be a grill.

Okay.

Thoughts?

Is a grill an appliance?

We had this debate. We looked it up. It said it was. Do you guys not think it's an appliance?

I think it's a borderline call. I think if you're going to— I don't think it's a great pick, so I'm fine with it. If you're going to make the argument that stove is an appliance, I think most people would agree that stove is an appliance.

Yeah.

And then a grill is just an outdoor stove.

You hate the pick.

It's— you made the pick.

Okay.

But yeah, you don't— you don't need anything that you could do on a grill, you could do on a stove.

Yeah, but the grill is better. Oh, Max, see, this is why we can't have 3 people on a team.

I'm saying everything I was saying, everything that Hank was saying.

Hank's making a lot of sense.

Grills, fucking steaks, burgers, fries.

Again, like, you know, seasonally, you guys are choosing these seasonal things.

OK, OK. I love— I do love grills.

I also— we also had a problem because memes just kept on calling it the BBQ.

Yeah, it's barbecue. It's not—

no, you make BBQ on the grill.

Barbecue. It's a grill.

It's a grill. It's a grill. It's a grill.

It's a for sure grill.

Barbecue. Okay.

Barbecue is— we got— we got— we got to do like a kumbaya team building thing.

Yeah, you might have lost the locker room.

I think we just lost Memes. I don't know what Memes is. Just like he does— he doesn't exist anymore. He just is a champion out in space.

Yeah, you got a diva. You got a diva.

He's being a huge diva.

Aircon. Yeah, that was really stupid, Hank. All right.

I mean, it's not like I wasn't going to take air conditioning.

Go ahead.

No brainer. Uh, second one, TV.

And that I don't think is an appliance.

That is not an appliance. We looked that up.

It's found in the appliance section.

No, I don't think that's found in the electronics section. Yeah, Microsoft Copilot was telling me that it was for sure not an appliance.

Okay, I expected a little pushback here, and the note I had next to the pushback was if the pushback is fierce, give this one up. Let it go.

Because we would have taken—

that's good.

No, that's good.

That's good teamwork.

If the pushback was minimal, I was gonna— I was gonna push it through. It seems to be pretty firm.

It's a good pick because we wanted to pick it. And then when we did the research, we're like, we can't pick it because it's not an appliance.

OK. All right. Fair enough. That said, I will take— I'll take the indoor version of a grill, the stove. OK, the mighty stove oven combination. It's the same unit, the stove oven. It's where food is done.

The graphic just says stove, though.

OK. Mm-hmm. All right, Hank, or is Zach picking?

Zach is picking. Zach is picking.

What do you think about at the very top, Hank? What do you think about number 4?

No, just pick Zach.

Love it. Just pick. I would like to go with dishwasher.

Okay, good pick. Good pick.

Good pick.

Uh, and then I will go with a vacuum.

Okay, that sucks.

That does.

Yeah, some good shit right there, boys.

Wayne Wade and LeBron.

Back, back and forth. Okay. PFT.

Okay. My next pick, I'm going to go garbage disposal.

Mm.

Good one.

Living without a garbage disposal in New York City really makes you miss having a garbage disposal.

I had a no garbage disposal apartment.

It was brutal.

It makes your entire life so much— the garbage disposal is— it's amazing.

Max, can you apologize to us now? Because you're literally— your number one pick is still there for us. Well, we could— we got it. We got it.

Yeah, we got it.

All right.

Washer dryer.

Washer dryer. Got to have a washer dryer. Max was, was stumping hard for a washer dryer. And I understand it. If you live in an apartment without a washer dryer, it's like, like having to go up and downstairs, having to go to the laundromat.

It's brutal. If you're in your 20s or 30s and you're— and you're looking for an apartment, at some point you get to an age where it's like number one non-negotiable in-unit washer dryer.

You have to have it.

Can't live without it.

Yeah, I think we try 9.

I, I agree.

I think we try that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna need to, uh, appeal to you, PFT, for some help here.

I'm thinking no.

Okay, no, no, let's try it. Garage, garage fridge. It's totally different than the regular refrigerator. It's totally different than your regular fridge.

Absolutely not.

No, fridges is such a staple. You just have to have a second one.

No, no, I'm seeing a point.

Your garage fridge has all the beer. It has nothing that you actually need in terms of like sustenance.

Okay, so here's the thing.

Sometimes that's the main fridge.

It has a cake, maybe a birthday cake, half a birthday cake.

I think Big Cat made an excellent point that it is— it's functionally different, completely different, completely different from the house fridge. And then I think Zach came over the top and made an even better point saying So it's such a good appliance that you have to have two of them.

But it's a garage fridge.

I think that's a great point.

But you say to someone, hey, can you put this in the garage fridge?

I'm going to say this in the refrigerator. It's the same as a fridge. Unfortunately, I understand. I understand. But it's— Zach, you don't need that.

A garage fridge is different. You know it is.

I just think fridge is so good.

Well, washer dryers also. We let you have that one, but that's also two appliances.

Well, we gave it—

well, we— he has stove and oven.

You have fridge and freezer.

Yeah.

Like Okay. Yeah. So you just walked into that.

So do you want us to take freezer here?

No, I'm just saying freezer.

You want to take freezer?

I'm just saying you want to take freezer. Yeah, if you want to.

No, no, I don't. Yeah, no, I did not agree to that.

Yeah, but then you have to choose which washer or dryer you want.

Then you have to choose.

They choose fridge. Those, those appliances we gave PFTs. Stove, oven, fridge. You get fridge, freezer, washer. You get washer, dryer.

Okay, that, that's fair.

All three of us got, got refrigerator.

You get refrigerator and garage refrigerator.

No, you get fridge and freezer.

Garage refrigerator is totally different than the refrigerator.

I don't think— I don't know what the garage— yes, it is— does not count as it—

that, you know, you never had one.

Yeah, I have. You know, everyone has.

You've never had a garage.

What do you— what do you got it?

Would it be—

I had a garage growing up.

And you had a refrigerator in there? It was in our basement.

It was in our basement.

I didn't say basement fridge. I said garage.

I don't think it should count for this Mount Rushmore. I don't think it's a separate pick.

I'm totally different. But you agree?

I agree it's different. But then Zach made just an outstanding point.

Zach, pathetic by you.

Can I ask you a quick question?

Yeah.

Is washer dryer like washer be a rinse and spin, dryer be tumble and dry, and then— or no, like, are the two features of a washer rinse spin, two features of a dryer tumble dry, and then a fridge is just cold and colder?

I don't understand the nature of the question.

Does it make them set— does it make them completely separate?

No, it's like washer dryer combo.

Yeah, no one has a washer without it.

Yeah, you don't get it.

They like—

you're not like, hey, no one has a fridge without a freezer.

No one has a stove without an oven. Like, all of those things go together.

Can we just, like, embrace debate though? If you could only have one, the washer or the dryer, which one would be?

Because washer, because you could hang—

you can do clothes dry.

Yeah.

I use the dryer on its own, like, way more than I should to get the wrinkles out.

Correct.

Yeah, just correct. Yeah, wrinkle release.

All right, we just want to— we just want to put an asterisk that we just— garage fridge is vital.

Awesome.

Garage fridge is awesome.

And it's like You got like when you— when— can I just— I know it's not counting. Can I at least talk about it? What? He's—

yeah, I suppose I didn't say anything.

Face to face. This is why the podcast listeners probably are like, they're so mean to Hank.

They are watching.

No, what? Hank does a face and then he goes, I didn't say anything.

No, but the problem is sometimes the watchers don't get it because someone else is talking.

Yeah.

And the camera is on Big Cat. But Hank is doing the face while someone—

I started talking about the garage fridge and Hank went like this.

We should—

I know it's not counting, but the garage fridge is a very important appliance that is needed in the ecosystem of the house. The beer, uh, when you like old soup, uh, old birthday cake, you get like sometimes you get a lot of pizza, too much pizza, ice cream, because your regular freezer is full of ice cream. Yeah. That's true. The turkey on Thanksgiving, when you're basting it, you got to put it in the garage fridge.

Mm-hmm.

It's a great thing.

It is a different, different function. There needs to be a Hank Isocam that's like in the corner so that the listeners can under— the people that watch can understand what Hank's doing when we're talking.

The amount of things he says with his face without uttering a word is— it's ridiculous. And then he— and then he gets our reaction and we look like monsters.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. I think we go 6, 7, or wait, 7 or 6. I think 7.

Hold on.

Let me see.

Let me, let me. People love 7.

7.

All right.

So, all right.

Air fryer.

Panda.

No, it's not Panda.

You just said people love 7.

Yeah, they do. People love 7. Air fryer.

Do you use the air fryer?

Yes.

Almost every day. I actually have a toaster air fryer.

We were talking— it's basically just the toaster is pointless.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have a toaster air fryer and I use it for everything.

Air fryers are pretty good. Yeah, it's the best for leftovers.

Incredible. I've been— everything, everything.

We didn't have one in this office. I bought one for the office. I rarely use it, but I did buy one for this office.

No, the air fryer is a great invention that I think— what was your first pick? Microwave. Oh, I'm sorry. We can't.

I was curious.

Oh, okay. This fucking guy.

What's the problem here?

I genuinely was just curious. You forgot.

Okay.

It is a different appliance.

Totally different. You know the difference, right?

Air fryer is for leftovers, right? What's microwave for?

Dude, popcorn heating, warming things up. What are you talking about?

Air fryer is different. It serves a different purpose. Like if you have leftovers and you put it in the air fryer, then you get nice— you get a crispy edge on it.

So don't talk about it.

It tastes more like real food, like a microwave. Sometimes it's just like, we're going to turn whatever's in this bowl into hot mush. And you're like, that sounds like—

so it sounds like it wasn't a great first pick.

You don't have—

that'll be up to the listener. You don't have to think about the—

I also just realized we're pretty food heavy on—

that's fine.

I like food.

You don't— you don't have a garage fridge or an air fryer.

I don't have a garage.

Stay out of it.

Yeah, you're right. We didn't pick them. Not pandering.

All right.

So my— it's not a pander. I use it all the time.

Microwave and air fryer. I use more than anything in my kitchen.

I think I use it every day, all day.

All right. My last pick. I'm going to take coffee maker.

Yeah, that's where we were going back and forth.

Coffee maker is a big one. I'm probably the biggest coffee guy on the podcast, I guess. Mm-hmm. But I use it every day. I got the one that's the K-Cup combo with the one with the pot in it. And it's— yeah, it's a must-have.

Yeah, I use my coffee maker a lot as well.

I drink the Stella Blue ready to drink or the cold brew. Delicious. Zach, I think—

but you probably need another fridge for that.

Nope.

Well, by the way, since Hank has ended kumbaya and the fucking guy took a vacuum, like chores, that's a terrible pick.

Yeah.

Hank, how many times do you vacuum?

That's a terrible pick.

Once a week.

You—

but that's the least enjoyable out of all.

It's like it's chore, but it's way better than when you like don't have a vacuum.

There's also 0% chance. It doesn't have a vacuum. Hank does not vacuum once a week.

And do you guys own that? Like, everyone owns a vacuum. No. Yeah, I don't vacuum once a week.

No chance. Because I saw the— I saw the wheels turning and you're like, what is a socially acceptable, reasonable amount of time that I should say?

So if we use your same logic, would you say that the air conditioning is on more or the vacuum is on more? Because your argument against PFT's air conditioning was essentially, well, you only use it for a few, few months a year.

People that use vacuums use them a lot.

Okay.

But, but, but we're pandering by saying, yeah, I would like you.

Yeah, the guy doesn't use it.

He said it was pandering.

The guy doesn't use it because of the way that meme set it up. It's like, oh, people love this one.

I mean, they do.

They're going to love this one.

I was talking about not the pic. I was talking about air fryer.

I would like that.

Love air fryer.

I want to see how long Hank could go without air conditioning.

18 years?

That's a pretty long time.

But right now.

It's a pretty long time.

Again, I, like, I— my building has an air conditioner, like, built into it. I lived my life without one. I would be, like, it wouldn't blow my mind not having one.

How long can you go without vacuuming?

I don't know about that one.

He loves it too much.

Did you guys know that in Europe they think that air conditioners, like, they damage you?

Yeah.

That they make you sick?

Yeah.

They say that you get, like, thermal shock.

Well, if you don't clean your air conditioning, that is true.

But no, there's— they say over in, like, France that if it's, like, 15 degrees warmer outside than it is in whatever building you walk into, you get thermal shock and it can give you a heart attack. They're so dumb. Damn, they're idiots.

All right.

I will say, like, my, my dad's solution to no air conditioning, because it was kind of miserable, but he bought warehouse-sized fans. Like, I had an industrial-sized fan in my bedroom that, like, that's what I would have to, like, have blasting on me to fall asleep.

So my, my house growing up, it was central air throughout the entire house except for my bedroom, which was on like a separate floor. Like there, every other, every other bedroom was on the first floor. And then mine and my brother's were on the second floor was the only place that didn't have AC and it fucking sucked.

Yeah, no, I was, I was no central air for like a lot of years. It was the compartment of the window units.

Just got doors and windows.

You're good to go.

Once I got to high school, we got the window units. But up until when I was a kid, it was just put as many fans around my bed as possible.

I sold portable air conditioners for a while when I was in Texas. And let me tell you what, people, people do not understand how to use an air conditioner. They just would think that they would put this thing in the middle of their room. Yeah, they wouldn't understand that you'd have to vent it out of a window. Otherwise you're just blowing cold air out the front and extremely hot air out the back. I almost killed the changes.

I almost killed our office in Milton. Because for whatever reason—

no, you put it in the middle of the—

no, we had, we had an air conditioner in the window. We had an air conditioner in the window. And then for whatever reason, they never got rid of the old air conditioner. And that was on the floor. And I plugged in the old air conditioner for like weeks at a time because I know—

and then you do get the cold air.

They were like, why isn't it cold? I was like, oh yeah, yeah, this one's been on. All right, Zach, or is it us?

Yeah, last pick.

I think you— I think 3 or, uh, 6, whichever, whichever fits your fancy.

We would like to take hot tub.

Okay.

Okay, great. I thought about taking swimming pool.

I thought about taking sauna. Didn't think it was—

not very relatable.

Yeah.

Hot tubs. Everyone loves a hot tub.

Yeah, I have one.

It's awesome.

I don't know if it's very—

yeah, you can use it 365 days a year.

That's not true. It's super hot.

No.

Or super cold.

No, Super Cold is the best.

We talked about soft serve machine.

Yeah, we talked about soft serve machine.

It's good appliance.

What was the other ones we had?

I did have swimming pool. I think that's an appliance.

Memes wanted us to do convertible roof because he still doesn't understand how I'm going to have to have you over. Ice machine. I know that it comes a lot of times.

That was, that was the other, that was the other one.

Ice machine. If you have an ice machine, it's a leet.

Yep. Elite, get the pellet ice. I had a space.

Or you get the big, the big square ice machines. Side note, if you guys want mine— that's right, yeah, yeah, literally never use it.

Mini fridge, is that still in the fridge? Okay, all right.

Uh, kegerator, is that different from a fridge?

No, that's a fridge. Yeah, I think—

no, kegerators, I would, I would—

still a fridge. It has no tap.

Kegerator's different.

The more we talk, the more we're— fridge is a good pick, but it is a fridge. Fridge is a good fridge variant.

No one took toaster. I think the air fryer has kind of—

toaster is done.

It is a tough, tough couple of years for the toaster.

Yeah, I said waffle maker and then Meme said no, panini maker.

And I said no to both of those.

Yeah. And then we went back to air fryer. Clutch.

Zach had deep fryer.

Deep fryer is good.

OK, well, do you guys have waffle makers?

Don't have a waffle maker, but I do love waffles.

It might be a kid thing because we make waffles all the time.

Griddle.

Love it.

Yeah, but a griddle is almost like something that you put on top of a stove.

No, no.

Or I have a griddle.

It's, it's so clutch.

Yeah.

You plug, you have it. There are griddles away and put on top of this and then you plug it in. Like I would have mine on my counter.

Oh, it's like, like a George Foreman.

Yeah.

Like a, you know, a rectangular griddle.

Like a hot plate.

Yeah.

Hot plate.

Yeah.

I had space heater. Chicks love space heaters. Yeah, they love chicks. But that's it. Yeah. I'm not counting that.

Disgusting how cold chicks are.

Yeah, it gets so cold. Chicks love starting fires.

They get so fucking—

any man who is, who is cold, you're not a man. Not a man.

Not a man. Agreed.

No, men don't get cold. We fucking put on a coat, put on a sweatshirt.

Yeah, I go in my sauna. That's what a man does.

Oh, disgusting.

I hate space.

No, it is. Oh, the man has like a heating pad. Oh my God.

Or if they're like, oh, I'm cold. You have a blanket that I can use?

Yeah.

Oh, that's what gives me the yuck.

Although I did.

Then again, I do like a blanket in my own home, but that's different.

I was gonna say I had one of my, my best friends used to come over and watch the Bears on Sundays. And this is before PMT when we watch at home. And he would ask for a blanket, but not because he was cold, because he was so hungover. He just would fall asleep on my couch.

That's okay.

That's okay. I like that.

Uh, what do you think about fireplace? Is that an appliance?

Um, I don't—

maybe the electric? No, but I think a fire pit is.

No, fire pit is literally a horse.

No, no, no, like an out— like the, like the outdoor.

Yeah, that's definitely not an appliance.

No, no, he's saying like a fire— or a fire table.

Yeah, like those, you know, the fire table. You can buy those like—

yeah, smoke—

this—

the smokeless ones.

Those are— yes, those are technologically like I love those.

Yeah.

Smokeless fire pit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never seen that. We have— we advertise with them.

They're—

they're elite. You should get one.

Oh, yeah.

They were great.

I have a— I have a little thing with, like, rocks in the— the rocks have flames coming out of them, but not actual flames. No, they are.

But no smoke.

Correct.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like something like—

we can't see anything. You didn't do pressure wash.

Well, so I thought about doing pressure washer, but then that seems more like it's like Lawn care.

Yeah, I don't think about lawn mower. We're thinking about a leaf blower.

I don't know that I would call those appliances. I'd call— Yeah, that's a tool.

Yeah. Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah, that's probably right. Okay, good job, boys. We also have— you want to say them? Microsoft Copilot's picks. What were they?

They had refrigerator 1, stove 2, washing machine 3. Vacuum 4.

Wow.

Wow.

Hank, sounds like you cheated off Microsoft Copilot.

What do you mean? We only got 2 of those.

Yeah, I know. But I mean, that was because the other 2 got picked before it came back to you.

No, just Copilot's smart.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Good Mount Rushmore. And let's get to our interviews. We got 2 awesome interviews. We've got QB1 Caleb Williams and Joel Klatt. Before we do that, Twisted Tea. We love Twisted Tea. It's summertime. Twisted Tea. Summer's here and Twisted Tea is coming in clutch to turn our day drinking up a notch. Their new Summer Party Pack has a brand new Twisted Lemonade made with real lemons, 5% alcohol. It's got that refreshing taste with a little kick, no carbonation, and goes down smooth. We love Twisted Tea. The Twisted Lemonade, I'm going to be drinking them this week. We're going to be, uh, a lot of us are going away. Max getting married. We're going to be grilling, hanging out. Twisted Lemonade. Whether it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ball game, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling, the new Twisted Tea Summer Party Pack is perfect to keep the good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. We also are brought to you by our friends at Fruit of the Loom. Fruit of the Loom. For some reason, guys hold on to their underwear way too long. Why? Who knows.

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And by the way, everyone go right now, EA Sports gives MVP Plus members more access, more rewards, and more football. For $150, you get both the deluxe editions of Madden NFL 27 and College Football 27. It's normally $200. And you can become an MVP+ member before the window closes on July 1st. Caleb, let's— let's— I love seeing you. Uh, I'm gonna try not to be a weirdo in this interview because I love you so much.

Weird out. Yeah, yeah.

But let's start with the COVID What was your— when you got called by EA and you're like, hey, we want you to be the COVID of Madden. What went through your head?

Yeah, I, I mean, it's a childhood dream. Any, any football player or any, any athlete that has a, has a video game based off their sport, I think, would, would dream to be on the COVID And so it's such a historical game, such a historical moment for myself and also Chicago itself and Chicago Bears that you know, um, when, when the call happened, I tried to play it cool, uh, and then I got off the— I got off the phone and called, you know, some of my closest friends and, and was like, yo, I'm on, I'm on the fucking cover of Madden.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, it's like we all grew up playing Madden, and it's, it's one of those iconic video games. And, uh, to be on the cover— dude, was there any part of you that was like, I don't want to say the C-word, but people were like, oh, it's, you know— but I'm not thinking about that. You're not thinking about that.

I don't believe in those things.

I love that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, those, those things, we're not gonna mention it, but I don't believe in them. I don't think they're, they're real. So we're gonna go prove it.

Okay.

Did you, in exchange for being on the COVID did they give you any insight or any input as to your rating overall?

Not, not—

they gave me insight on my rating, but not final cut. I don't have I don't have any input on necessarily the rating. So we'll get the rating adjusted by the end of the year.

Is there a certain aspect of the rating that you're looking at and you're like, they're kind of shortchanging me on this?

Just overall, you know.

Everything?

Yeah.

Everything.

Everything.

So we'll prove it.

You could just get in the sliders. Just bump up the sliders. I get accused of that every time I play. Yeah.

Yeah, pump up the sliders and put it on, uh, uh, rookie mode or whatever it is.

Yeah. Do you have, uh, do you have a burner account that you ever play on online? Like when you don't want people to know that you're playing Madden?

No. Well, nobody knows what my, uh, what my gamertag is, so it's always a burner for me.

Okay.

And is it always the Bears?

Uh, well, yeah, now obviously, you know, if I'm— since I'm playing. It's always the Bears. It's not anybody else.

Yeah. You got to play with yourself, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

If I was— if I was in the game, I'd play with myself all the time.

The only other one, like, yeah, if a grown man is playing with somebody else.

Yeah.

I'm going to look at him like, hey, dude, play with yourself.

Yeah. Leave me alone. I'm going to go in my room. I'm going to play with myself.

Yeah. Mom, not now. Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't want to go blind, though. I know vision is very important to a quarterback, so make sure that you take care of that. A lot of carrots. How is this offseason going for you? Is Coach keeping you thirsty? Because I know that like last year things were hard and he made them hard on purpose going into camp. And you could feel that. I think— what was the quote that you had? Like, it felt like you were drowning or something like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's been— it's been challenging. He's on me about— about different things now that— that helps us win games, helps me be better, helps me be a better teammate, helps me be better on the field. And then— and then he's also just given me more— more small nuggets about certain plays and coverages and things like that, that, you know, obviously at the end of the day help us, help us have more explosive plays, um, you know, hit receivers in stride on, on things that, you know, you may, may have been guessing on last year and like, uh, is this the coverage? And now it's, you know, you, you flip around and, and, and it's like, okay, yeah, I know what the coverage is, let's, let's throw this, let's throw this bomb. And then, you know, times where he gives me those nuggets and, um, it's new and it's not something that I've practiced and it's, it's it's taking reps to get it in my mind and see the coverages or things like that and flip it around and alerting those things. But then when I'm not, he gets on me about, about, you know, let's— we're going for these, you know, when this— when this cover shows up, it's premier coverage is what we call it.

And, you know, let's take the shots and trust the wide receivers to go make, you know, make plays for us.

Yeah. Does— how often, like in a week, are you sitting down with Ben Johnson like one-on-one where he's giving you time and you guys like that relationship?

Or in-season?

Let's, let's say offseason. Start with offseason, then in-season.

Offseason depends on the time of the offseason. So this past, this past whatever, OTAs and minicamp, we end up meeting at the end of the week. Any questions, anything like that, I can obviously always ask him, but we end up meeting at the end of the week and we go through the whole week and then, and then kind of preparing for that, you know, what we're preparing for next week. And then during the season we meet every day.

Oh, that's awesome. How long are those meetings every day?

Uh, they could be from hour 30 to 2 hours and 30 at the, at the end of the night.

Oh, that's a long-ass meeting.

I didn't realize that. Yeah, because like, that's, that's not— I don't think that's totally normal for every head coach in the NFL. They're, you know, especially— yeah, but that's, that's— and I would imagine you're learning a ton every time you meet with him, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I learned a ton. Anything he says, you know, you go out there and you do and you practice it, you work on it, you know, so you're conscious and you're conscious of it and you go out there and rep them and, you know, get these reps in and it pays off. And so, you know, those meetings are really important to me and really important to him.

Did you— so last year, obviously, you know, didn't go all the way, but it was such an incredible, memorable year, especially with all the comebacks and the playoff victory against the Packers. But throughout the year, as, as it's building, was there a moment that you're like, okay, this is starting to really like click? I have a moment in my head. I'm just wondering if in your head there was a moment where it's like, all right, now I'm, now I'm seeing it, and now I can kind of understand what Ben Johnson is telling me, and, and it all kind of makes sense.

Yeah, uh, there's a point where the offense clicked for me better. It was probably near halfway through the season. But my trust with Ben clicked after our first 2 losses, and I knew that he had my back and what he was saying and, you know, how we spoke to each other and addressed, you know, the topic of us going 0-2 that, you know, at the start of last year. So those 2 things were different time periods. Those, you know, the trust part was probably, like I said, after the first 2 games, and then the offensive stuff started to click better for me probably halfway through the year.

Yeah, the third game of the season, the gateway game. I was, I was, I was telling to everyone I could find because I got a little down after the first game, I'll admit that. But then after the second game, I was like, you know what, if, if we beat the Cowboys, watch out, like we're gonna end up being 6-3 or somewhere around there, and then people are going to start opening their eyes. And it went exactly like that.

Yeah, no, it was, uh, it was really, really fun, really cool to kind of have that experience of not trusting them You know, not being in the offense, not this and that, not really knowing who he is. And then us going 0-2 and seeing how he responded. And it only built belief and confidence in him through the tough time. Obviously, you don't want to start your career off as a coach as 0-2, especially not at the Bears. And we did just that. And the way he could, you know, the way he handled it, the way he, you know, we spoke to each other about it, you know, how we were going to adjust, how we were going to get better, how we were going to do this and that. We went and did that. And then, like I said, halfway through the year, the offense clicked for us and for me. And I think we got on a good, good hot streak.

In these meetings, was there a moment? Because, you know, obviously the iconic him taking off his shirt after the victory in the Wiener Circle. Was there a moment in the meetings leading up to that where he was like, hey, Caleb, do you think I should do this? Like, do you think I'm ripped enough?

He's mentioned it. He mentioned it once before just because I think somebody in the facility brought it up to him. And he was— he mentioned that he's like, I got to get in the gym a little bit before I end up doing that. And obviously he works out and, you know, he's getting after it. And so I think everybody knew about it at that point. And I think it was just a spur of the moment thing for him.

Yeah, they should model that in Madden where like press X to take your shirt off after a big win. Free hot dogs for everyone as a head coach. Yeah. And then if you do it too early in the season, your players boo you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It sounds like there was a certain thing though after the second week that, that made you kind of connect with him. What was that?

Yeah, I think, I think it was going through that, that 0-2 start. Obviously I don't want to start 0-2 after going 5-11 or whatever it was, the 5-12, the, uh, my first year. And then we start 0-2, and it's like, you know, um, just, just it could turn into bad energy, it could turn into negative negativity. And, um, the way he responded, uh, you know, ended up building a lot of, a lot of confidence and belief and trust in him. And, and, um, obviously he knows who he is, he knows who he is as a coach, as a play caller. And so, um, having that belief and trust, I think The trust part is one of the biggest things that I think people don't recognize that watch from the outside. And so when you trust your coach and trust what he says and you go out there and you do those things and execute those things and, and even in tough times, I think it, I think it shows up how we, how we showed up, you know, halfway through the year and then, you know, to the end of the year.

And you guys got rewarded for last season by getting like every single primetime game. In this upcoming season. So congratulations with that one. Do you like playing at night?

I love playing tonight. Um, it's, it's, it's the game of the night. It's nobody else is on. It's us and, and the other team on the other side of the ball. And, uh, you know, let's, let's battle it out.

Yeah.

Yeah. How much, uh, how much do you listen to the haters? Are you letting them fuel you? Because I, I—

what'd you say?

Yeah, I love them. It's my favorite thing. Okay.

Yes, I love that because I, I, I have gotten to love the haters of you too because they're so wrong and they're box score watchers. Yeah, yeah, it's like they, they don't watch the game and then they're like, oh, 50, 52 completion percentage. Like, are you just— weren't watching the game, dude. So you, you'd like the haters fuel you?

Oh yeah, it's a— it's— I don't need them, uh, but it's always, it's always a little extra belief in myself, a little extra confidence in myself. It's a little more, um, delusion that I add to myself. Um, it's, it's all these things combined, and, um, it's just, it just throws a little bit of gas on, on the fire, and all you need is a little bit.

Have the haters ever been right about anything where you hear the haters and you're like, that's actually a good point, I might, I might want to listen to you? Um, no, not the completion percentage, because you met our guy Stephen Che. The other week. He's— he loves saying that.

Yeah, that's all right. And I've met him, but I mean, I throw the ball away the most to try and keep us in advantageous positions because I know Coach will go for it on fourth down. So I'm not— I'm not fearful of only having 3 downs. I also know our ability and how explosive we are. So, you know, I'm not— I'm not fearful of, like I said, throwing it, you know, throwing out of bounds, dirting it. Obviously scramble, and people count my scramble seconds of holding the ball. But, you know, it's a bunch of different things that I can go into that I know that people speak about. And stats aren't always, aren't always, you know, something that you should look at and you should look at, you know, how they win games.

And so, yeah, somebody, somebody should come up with that stat, though, for the best incompletions. Because you do have some of the best incompletions, like winning plays that actually show up as, you know, a decline in the completion percentage, but ultimately keeps you guys alive where you could take a sack or you could throw a pick or something like that. Somebody should look into that. Somebody smart probably already has. But if not, we should make Chai review all your incompletes to mark all the, all the good ones as actually being not counting against your percentage.

Yeah, but it's, it's a, it's a, it's a stat for the QB, whether it's a throwaway, whether it's a drop, whether it's, you know, whatever, whatever the case may be. So, um, a tip pass, all these different things. So, uh, it, it doesn't— obviously I want to, I want to get that up, get the completion percentage up. Um, but, but some of the things that I, that I do, that I do on the field, um, is, is it negative— negatively impacts that. So, um, it's all right, we'll get it up this year. Just to, just to shut everybody up and help everybody, um, to understand.

See, I— you're gonna tell me this is crazy and stupid. I kind of want you to get it down. I want, I want the Bears to win like 15 games. No, no, but I want the Bears to win 15 games. You throw for like 45 touchdowns, 4,500 yards, and it's like 49% completion percentage, just so the haters can be like, oh, look at this, and then I can keep just swatting at them online.

No, we are. So I mean, I've looked up, I've looked up all the greatest guys from Peyton to Tom to Patrick to all these different guys. And on average, they're from— most of them are 65 to 63 completions, 62 completions, and which is surprising. At least to me was surprising because It's only 2% off, 3% off.

Right.

So we'll get it. We'll make everybody's heart feel warm and lovely. And it'll also help us in the long run of winning games and starting games better, starting games faster, starting— doing all of those things. Because we know end of the game is ball goes into our hands if it's a close game. Ball goes into my hands. Wide receivers' hands. And so just keeping the guys on the field longer, longer time of possession, scoring faster, all these different things. So we'll get the completion percentage up.

Okay, fine.

All right.

I actually can deal with that. I just— I have to say, like, two of my favorite things to do online is to swat away Caleb Williams haters and PCA haters. Like when he hit this— when he hit the cycle the other day and then got picked off, it was like I actually was kind of laughing because I was like, now I get to just go after all these haters. Who are going to say that he had a bad game when he hit a fucking cycle.

Yeah.

No, it's— we live in a— we live in Chicago, man. It's, it's a, it's a tough city. It's a tough city to play in. And luckily enough, we got the right guys. But, you know, we got a good young core of Chicagoans now that, you know, play for all the different teams. And we love it. We love it. All of us do.

Yeah.

So speaking of playing in Chicago, can we talk about the playoff game? Against the Packers.

Yes.

Did you go back? Did you watch that game on TV?

Yeah, I love, I love watching. I watch every— I love watching, um, us play. I love watching highlights. I love— it's, it's, uh, I love watching all the cool edits and things like that. So I love them. I go back and watch them all.

What was, what was the one moment when you go back and you watch it live where you're like, holy shit, I can't believe that worked?

Um, uh, the, the, the— that is a great question.

Great question.

Physically, I have belief that all of them work.

Yeah, I was gonna say, this is crazy you're not saying the 4th and 8. That just means you knew it was gonna work.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I like— as soon as I— I mean, when I let the ball go, I got, I got full trust and belief that, that the play is going to work. And so So sometimes a little bit more stunned that it doesn't than when it does. The 4th and 8 was sick. It was a sick play to Rome. Obviously how it happened and, you know, things that have come from it and all of that, the cool pictures and things like that that I've seen. But I've done a couple of those, you know, throughout my time and career at different places. Uh, yeah, I'm a little bit more surprised when it doesn't work than, than when it does.

The, the DJ Moore touchdown too was like the perfectly drawn up play throw.

That was really, really— that was— I mean, that was one of my favorite moments of my career, uh, versus rival, um, OT, um, I mean, all of the above. I think they were in cover zero from what I remember, and, and DJ was one-on-one with 25, and 25 picked me off the game before. And, you know, all these different things. So it was, it was, uh, it was a good moment. It's a fun moment.

Yeah, I know, I know you probably know this, but just like, so I was at the both the playoff games, and the belief in the crowd like never really wavered. It was crazy because like normally being down 21-3 to the Packers, like, oh, here we go again. But it was a lot of like, hey, stopping the score, stopping the score, like, you know, just get, get one and, and go from there. And like, they missed the kick and it was like, oh, okay, something's happening here. And it just— I think that's a lot of credit to you and Coach Johnson, where it's like that belief of never out of it, not the doom and gloom. Um, it's special. It was a special crowd to be at.

Yeah, no, it was, uh, I mean, both the playoff games were, uh, some of the best games I've been a part of, uh, on the field. Um, and then obviously, you know, the crowd, crowd-wise, I mean, the the national anthem of the second game versus the Rams. It was breathtaking. I mean, from the atmosphere, the cold, like it's Chicago weather, it's snowing. It's the legend. I forgot his name, but—

Jim Cornelsen.

Yes, yes, yes. Him singing it. And it was like a scene out of a movie. And then obviously the game was crazy and, you know, we end up losing and you know, whatever. But, um, it was, it was— those two playoff games were, were sick, uh, for me. They were really cool and a really cool experience just because Chicago hasn't been there in a while. And, uh, to have that experience but also to, um, be able to feed off that experience and want to get back and want to, you know, every day, you know, try and get back and think about it every day. And, you know, um, it's, it's, it's, it's fun, it's exciting, and, and, you know, there's a lot more coming.

Did you—

I know, I know the Rams game, obviously, you know, we lose and it doesn't go well, but the Cole Kmet touchdown, I basically passed out in the crowd. It was Eddie and I were— I took Eddie and like we were— we just were like, yeah, we're going to win the Super Bowl. Like this is just what's going to happen because like everything's going our way. But in that play, was there a moment— you're going backwards. You actually looked like a perfect tie-in. You look like how I play in Madden. When I play Madden, I just float. I just float backwards constantly. In college football, the same. Like, I play Duggs, we do our streams, I just float, float, float. Was there like— what was going through your head when you're going backwards and you're like, ah, this could be a problem? Like, I gotta figure something out and go forward at some point.

Yeah, uh, when I realized that I was running backwards, um, I, I also realized that I was going farther from the end zone. And I needed to find a way to gain some space because they end up, you know, creating like a little, a little cave for me. And, um, I just actually went back and watched some of the game, um, not too long ago, and, and I'm just wondering if I could have, if I could have did something else instead of doing that, that crazy thing, uh, running backwards and all that. So, uh, but in the moment, I mean, I was thinking, let's find a way to just get this ball up into the back of the end zone for Cole and let my 6'6" tight end go make a play on the ball. So I was— I didn't— I mean, I don't think much. I always go off of like the Steph Curry— people ask him about the crazy shots or the craziest and that, or, you know, when he turns around and he, you know, all of these, all these different things that he does. He's not thinking. It's a blank sheet.

And, you know, that's kind of how I play. And I think that's kudos to belief, trust, and myself and also my teammates that, you know, I'm able to go out there and play with a blank sheet up top and, you know, be able to create, you know, from whatever, from all the hard work, from all the muscle memory and things like that. Yeah.

During the week in those December games and January games, to be honest, when you're looking at the weather forecast for Sunday and you see that we're getting down to like the negative area where with like the wind and wind chills dipping down to like -20, are you hoping that it gets better? Are you like, this is awesome. Bare weather?

No, I love it.

I, I love playing the cold. I actually love the cold more than any other weather, um, because I just— my temperature, I run hot. And so, um, being able to play in the cold, you know, you throw in a few, you throw in a layer or two, and, you know, you go out there and play. Once you're playing, you're warm. And so, uh, whenever it's cold, I always tend to— I, I feel that I always tend to play better when it's cold, and, um, I get better at the end of the year. And so it's— that's always been my mindset. And so growing up, growing up in D.C., we got some cold games, got some snow games and things like that when I was younger. And like I said, always, it always felt like I played better towards the end of the year. So yeah, let's keep that. Let's keep that going on.

Yeah. So I actually, when last time we were in D.C., I told my good friend Jayden Daniels that if they won a Super Bowl, he could have my car, my El Camino. And I was just wondering what you would want from Big Cat if you won a Super Bowl here in Chicago.

You want my Range Rover?

No, no, no, I don't, I don't want anything, man, other than just to, uh, I mean, just, I mean, burn the city down, man. Okay, bring out everybody, bring out everybody, um, have a good time. Um, that's really it, man. Just, just, just let this, you know, wreak havoc in the city.

Okay, well, I will actually give you my Range Rover as well. It'll only be like a year and a half left on the lease, but you can definitely have it. Um, and I sometimes forget to call in the payments, so that we'll figure that part out as well. But yeah, you can have my Range Rover for sure.

Caleb Williams gets his Range Rover repossessed is going to be a headline. Actually, it was— it was this blogger and it's all—

yeah, whatever it is. Yeah. Me, Range Rover, whatever it is, repossessed.

Yeah. So you said that you watch back the games and we've already established that the haters fuel you, which I love that because a lot of guys will not say like, yeah, I listen to the haters. I love just proving them wrong.

You can't not— you can't not see him. So all the people that say that are liars.

Yeah, I agree. So when you're watching back a game, are there maybe some announcers that, uh, you're like, this guy's just giving me a hard time? Because we— that happens a lot when we're watching and we're like, why are they going after him like this?

Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Um, not gonna say any names on here, but there, there are times where I go back and I listen and it's like, I mean, I just watched their drive, or I don't even have to watch it, I just remember what their drive was and, and they didn't you know, didn't complete a pass or didn't, whatever. And so, yeah, there's, there's reporters and analysts or whatever you want to call them that I remember. And sometimes I shake their hand a little bit harder when I see them in person. But yeah, no, I definitely always take notes and mental notes and screenshots and things like that.

I love it. It is, it is honest. Like, there, you're right. Like, there's a lot of people like, oh, I don't listen to any of the noise. Like, you got to, you can't let it consume you. But you have to— you hear it, you hear the negativity, and you got to just use it to fuel you.

Yep. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

I got a very important question for you, and it's a question that we recently just became aware of on this show, but we're trying to ask as many people as possible. It's a tough one. If somebody broke into your house in the middle of the night and they held you down and tickled you for 5 minutes, I'm not ticklish.

Well, they tried to take—

they tried to tickle you and then left. Would you call the cops?

Yeah.

Well, no, they didn't do anything else.

They left.

They just didn't touch anything. They just tried to tickle you for 5 minutes.

Is it tick and run?

Held you down, tickled you, left. You would call the cops and say, hey, I just got tickled.

Is it a hot girl or is it a man?

We were offered this hypothetical. We were at— we were Ask that as well. We ask that as well.

Because also you have to think about the ramifications of calling the police. And then there's a police report that Adam Schefter is reporting on the next day. Caleb Williams calls the police because of a tickling.

Yeah.

Caleb Williams was tickled per myself and Rap Sheet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hopefully I can find a way to, you know, use the Chicago police and to not put that out there, you know, supremely public like that.

Yeah.

Just put a bounty on him. Let's do this off the books, boys.

Yeah, I mean, it's a tough hypothetical. We've been, we've been struggling with it. We did a, we did a radio show and someone called in with that and, uh, we've just like—

what'd you go with?

We said no, I don't think you can call the police.

Yeah, I can't have that. I can't have that police report following me around. I've got a reputation to uphold.

That you don't like being tickled, or that what, what's, what's that? That you—

what's your— what's the reputation?

That I can handle myself, you know, like a strong man keeps all his emotions Yeah, yeah, we don't— I don't want to— I don't want to show weakness in the press, Caleb.

Understood.

What would your dog Super do?

What would—

if someone came in and tried to tickle you, would he hopefully stop him?

No.

Oh no, and wait to get tickled himself.

See, this is part of the police report. Your dog did nothing. You don't want that on your dog's name.

No, no, no. I got a few other dogs though that, that may not allow somebody to get even close to my bedroom.

Okay, that's fair.

Yeah, yeah, big dogs.

Um, I got a question for you. This is a weird one because it's— you have a— you invested in a company, a fruit company, which you got to explain to me because I'm, I'm right now trying to eat 100 cheeseburgers this summer. Not exactly the healthiest. Uh, yeah, opposite, the opposite of healthy, but Listen, we all have goals. You're going completion percentage, I'm going cheeseburgers. We all, we all get fueled by different things. But your company, Fruitist— I need to maybe eat some more fruit. So what, what's going on with that?

Some of the best fruit I've ever had, to be honest with you. And this is not me being biased. I tried it, uh, I tried it and I was like, these are the best blueberries that I've ever had. Um, and then I was like, let's find a way to be a part of this. It's something that fits me in my daily life. It's something that, that fits them. And it's been a, it's been a dream partnership. And so we're, I'm actually going to Peru here soon in a couple of days.

No way.

Which, yeah, which is where they're, you know, one of their main farms is. And I'm gonna go check it out. I don't know if y'all remember the old Cranberry commercials where they're in the, in the field. And so I picture myself like that right now in a couple days, just being in the field of a bunch of blueberries and seeing how everything works, seeing how everything— how they make the blueberries so damn good. And so I'm excited. I know everybody else is excited to be a part of it. And yeah, it's a dream partnership. Like I said, it fits me in my daily life— football, wellness, the whole thing. And like I said, they've been awesome partners. It's my first time ever going to a blueberry farm. Um, it's, it's— I don't know too many people that have been a part of a blueberry farm. I, I've heard of olive trees and, and, and all these other different, you know, grapes and things like that, vineyards, whatever, but, um, I've never heard blueberries, so I'm excited.

Yeah, I— all right, I'm gonna— I'm in because I do need to like start.

I—

100 cheeseburgers.

I got all my teammates on it. They're It's— they're actually the best blueberries. And this is, like I said, it's not me being biased. It's— they're, they're insane.

Blueberries are my 1-1. Blueberries are my 1-1.

They're incredible. There's nothing worse than a bad blueberry.

Yeah.

When you get a good one though, there's nothing worse than a mushy blueberry. Yep.

And I haven't had one mushy blueberry from there. They're like, they're like this large. Um, gotta get the jumbos. The jumbo's the best, I think. Um, and they have a crunch to them when you bite into them, which is I mean, that's what you want. I feel like from a blueberry, you get the crunch and the pop.

You should pick some while you're down there and then you could do like, you know, these were picked by Caleb and then those become like the collector's items.

Yes. Sounds like something I'll waste a lot of money on in an auction.

Yeah, yeah.

Like blueberries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Caleb Williams picked these blueberries.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't know how long they'll last, but yeah.

How many of that—

how many would you say you eat in a day if you, if you had unlimited supply of good blueberries?

Uh, I mean, I eat probably a pack a day during the season at least.

I gotta—

is that what's that, like 20, 30 blueberries?

Probably, probably, probably around there.

Yeah, it's a good amount. That's a good amount. And, and the problem is you can't get good blueberries outside of blueberry season, at least in my experience. So I'm eager to try these ones. I like a lot of products from Peru.

Yeah, yeah, they're insane.

Caleb, can I ask the lamest question ever? And I know that I'm gonna look like a fucking idiot, and I'm actually like, I'm mad at myself for asking this question because, uh, a lot of athletes, like, uh, famous people, they have someone else run their social media. When you heart— when you heart my messages on, on, on DMs, is that you?

That's all me.

All right, thank God.

Okay, I mean All my messages are on my page for now.

Okay, well, let's see how long that lasts, but, um, I do run my page for now.

Okay, all right, good, because like, I, I mean, all the messages are literally just like Instagram stories being like, the GOAT, QB1, this guy's the best.

My dog's page, I do not run that.

Okay, okay, your dog does that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but, but, uh, I, I run my own page.

Um, yeah, okay, good. All right, that was— again, sorry, that was a lame question. I feel like a fucking loser for asking it, but you never know when you're talking who you're talking to.

Yeah, yeah, you never, never know. There's a bunch of people that, that don't run their own page, and so, uh, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm one of those guys that, that does.

I, I kind of figured it because you do slideshows during the season, and there was one slideshow there was one that you did that it was just a shot of me in the gambling cave looking like I was like in pain, um, which that happens all the time because he's basically living and dying with every game. So I was like, I think he might run it himself.

I run it, I run it.

I've—

the memes, I mean, my whole page is, you know, fun stuff and memes and, and, and things that are connected to my life. And so, um, I got a bunch of fun memes about, about bears and and, you know, coach and players and teammates and all these different things. So, um, no, yeah, I, I end up getting all— and a bunch of people send me a bunch of, you know, funny stuff that, you know, that I end up just screenshotting or saving.

I love it.

I love it.

All right, so, uh, EA Sports, like I said, the MVP+ members, uh, you get more access. Become an MVP+ member before the window closes on July 1st. It's normally $200. It's only $150 right now if you buy it. You get Madden NFL 27 and College Football 27. Kiel, this has been so much fun. We have one last question for you. Rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Uh, we have the college football playoff— or college football game coming out. I'm going to be streaming it. I try to win a national title. My defensive coordinator Zach, who's in the booth, who you met, uh, and actually talked to you at the Madden event, which was awesome. Zach, you can end us with with your last question.

How are you doing today, Caleb?

I mean, I'm unbelievable.

It's good to hear, man. Thank you for your time today. Uh, quick question, uh, we do see outside looking in that you are a big fan of music, that you love music, and I was just kind of wondering if you could give us a sneak peek into that, that game day playlist. Maybe a couple artists that are mainstays that are getting you pumped up for the game.

For sure. I'm more of a pump down kind of guy because I have to be, uh, mentally even-keeled And so I'm more of like a Drake, Brent Faiyaz, John Legend, Adele, Bob Marley. And then every once in a while, like when I'm heading into the game about 3 hours before, 3, 4 hours before, I'll probably turn on some, some, you know, some Chief Keef, some, some more upbeat Drake and things like that, but more of the slow vibe, more of a, you know, a chill vibe going, you know, right before Right before I walk out though, right before the last time we walk out where we do the national anthem, all of that, and they do the names and stuff, I listen to John Legend, Ordinary People, still for the past like 6, 7 years.

Okay, I'm gonna start doing that.

I appreciate the insight.

You gotta get pumped down. Was there, was there a moment when you, when you found out that Drake's album was gonna be called Iceman that you were like, is he— is that, is that, is that gonna be about me?

Uh, I, I wasn't thinking it was gonna be about me, but I was, I was wondering, uh, because I mean, I've been to his house a bunch of, you know, a bunch of my friends know him and are friends with him or whatever. Um, and so I was wondering if he was gonna, uh, say anything about Chicago or not. So didn't end up happening. That's all good, you know. No, no, no anything towards it. Uh, but it was a thought, uh, just because it was Iceman. And I'm at the time the album was coming out, and obviously we were having a whole Iceman thing towards the end of the year, um, that everybody was talking about.

So Yeah, it's a great nickname. Caleb, thank you so much. Really appreciate it, man. Congrats on the Madden cover. Cannot wait to watch you play football this fall and hopefully sometime you can come by the office. We'd love to have you.

Yeah, absolutely. Appreciate y'all as always. See y'all soon.

Caleb was brought to you by Pepsi and Pepsi Zero Sugar. I got it right here. The best-tasting zero sugar cola. It's preferred by nearly two-thirds of Americans in a nationwide blind taste test. I'm going to crack one open right here. That sounds delicious. And have a little sip. It's so good. We did that challenge Super Bowl week and we all agreed the Pepsi Zero Sugar is by far the best tasting zero sugar cola in the world. Watching soccer, eating food, it's delicious. But when you have it with Pepsi, it's like your team scoring a last minute game winner. It just tastes better. Soccer deserves Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. And Caleb was also brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. The Chevy Silverado Chill Week is right around the corner. You know what that means— no schedules, no plans, just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America. The Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder, whether that's getting out of town, if it's going to the lake, or just not turning around when you probably should.

Chevy's got the capability, the space, and the muscle Everything you need for a proper summer— coolers, gear, whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. And let's be honest, you've earned the summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up. Just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy.com to learn more. And now here's Joel Klatt.

Okay, we now welcome— welcome on a very, very special guest. It is our good friend Joel Klatt. Who is now the voice of the new college football game, which you can buy right now. EA Sports gives MVP+ members more access, more rewards, more football. If you do it right now before July 1st for $150, you get deluxe editions of Madden NFL 27 and College Football 27, normally $200. It's the only way to play College Football 27 over the Fourth of July weekend. Since members get 7 days early. So Joel, this is a big deal, is it not? Like, this is the— this is an iconic game. We all love it, uh, and now you're the voice that we are going to listen to when we're playing the game.

Yeah, to say I'm excited is, is an understatement, trust me. And, and I'm, and I'm glad to, to be on here because, guys, I went after this because it was the only way that I feel like I could get my man card back, which you guys took for my horrendous March Madness take.

Yeah, right.

So it's like, this was, this was the whole deal, is like I just had to do something to appease PMT, right? Like, this is, this is my whole life at this point.

Yeah.

Um, but I will say, I'm, I'm so excited to be part of the game. I've loved the game forever. I played it, you know, when I was growing up and then played it when I was playing. In fact, real, real quick story, uh, I was just a walk-on. I don't know if you guys know that or not, but I was a walk-on. And so they just threw you a number at that point. So I was number 14 and I was always number 12 growing up. My brother wore 12, I wore 12, like that's the number that we always wore. And my freshman going into sophomore year, it looked like I was potentially going to be the starting quarterback. And they were like, all right, like, what number do you want? Do you want to go to 12? And I was like, no, the college football game is going to have number 14 starting for Colorado. So I'm going to stay with number 14.

Yeah.

And that's the old, that's the The whole reason why I wore the number was because of this game.

Yeah, that's great.

Are you a character that you can unlock? Like, you can go back and play with Joe Klat?

I don't think so. I've actually— I'm trying to buy an old console, like an old PlayStation, to get the old games so that my boys can play that version, the version that I was a player in.

That's awesome. Yeah, what was it like? What was the process like doing all the voiceovers? How long does that take?

Dude, it was long. And my first thought was when I started interviewing with them and talking about this is I was like, "All right guys, how much of this is going to be AI?" You know, I just like assumed that that's the direction we were headed. And they were like, "Oh, none of it." And I thought to myself, "Really?" And they said, "Yeah, you know, we want it to be genuine. We want it to be your lines from, you know, what you would call," on that play versus some, you know, AI generation. And so I did close to, close to 90 hours, not quite 90 hours of recording with EA since probably mid-December on, um, until about a month ago, maybe a little— yeah, about, about a month ago. Um, and it was like thousands of lines, guys, maybe 3,500, 4,000 lines. And in the process, they, they were amazing to work with. These people are So buttoned up, they know what they're doing. They came in and set up a little bit, a sound booth in my, in my house. And then 2 or 3 times a week at 6 AM, I would wake up and I would get on a Zoom with the producer, and then they would send me a script.

But it's not really a script, it's more just situations. So like, it would be like, okay, today we're gonna do post-run plays. And it'd be like, all right, this is the first run of the game, it goes for less than 6 yards, and the running back is an 85+ guy and it's late in the season and he has 1,000 yards already. And so I'm like, okay, uh, they need to set up the run, this is the guy that they're gonna do it with, and so on and so forth. And we do that just thousands of times, you know. So we would set up those situations. It was, it was very, um, it was harder than I thought it was going to be. Yeah, it was, it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.

I would imagine. Um, and then do they do— are you Are you going to do updates at all during the season?

Is there—

how does that work?

Yeah, there's— so they do, they call them patches. So like there's patches every 30 or 45 days. I know that there's a 30-day patch and we've already done some of those. So there was the first like drop dead, hey, the book, they call it the book or whatever. I can't even remember what they call it, but like the final stage and then everything needs to go to market. And then there's a 30-day patch and then we'll do some more recording during the course of the fall. And probably get some updates that are more season-specific. Yeah. For what, what's going to happen this year.

So was there an update in this process where it was like at one point you had to do a line being like, and yeah, the judge let Brendan Sorsby play, and then now you're like, and now Brendan Sorsby can't play, and now the NFL says he can't play. What do you make of that whole situation? I mean, it's crazy.

Oh, man. It's pretty wild. I wasn't able to do a full episode of my show on this topic because of the World Cup. Fox is just at capacity from a studio standpoint and a production studio standpoint. So I've done all of my summer episodes as prerecorded and evergreen episodes that are going to be released. And so I just released a little bit of a social media take. Here's the deal, guys. I thought that the entire thing was a disaster for college football, college football, intercollegiate athletics, a total disaster. Because if we're going to have local judges, you know, give favorable rulings to the teams that are near them, then, then what are we doing? Like, this is not— there are no rules. You can do whatever you want. This is one of the most longstanding unwritten and written rules in sports. It goes back to Shoeless Joe Jackson and Pete Rose and all my— like, and so on. Even the NBA dealt with this. And, and the fact that this was all of a sudden going to be, oh, he's going to play, I just thought it was a total disaster. If we weren't going to have some sort of standard and, and be able to enforce rules, then, then what are, what are we doing?

And I think this is probably the correct outcome. I don't, I don't think he should play.

Yeah.

Do you think that this was a, uh, uniquely Lubbock, Texas situation in terms of how the how the school kind of rallied around him. I don't know if you saw that like 25-minute-long video that they put out. That was really amazing. Uh, but do you think that they're the only school that would do that, or maybe just a handful of schools that would have rallied around him like that?

Let's— I think everybody would love to get virtuous when it's not them and they're, they're the ones pointing the finger. But if, if we're honest with ourselves in college football, Everybody is irrational when it comes to themselves and everybody in college football operates on their own behalf. And what we have seen now, granted it hasn't been in a case involving gambling, but what we've seen over the course of the last, you know, 5, 10 years is that every single time a school wants a specific rule bent or broken, or they don't feel like it's right for them, they sue, their attorney general gets involved. We've seen it all over with eligibility cases. And so to say that this was uniquely Lubbock, I think would be false. I think this is uniquely college football. And I think almost— maybe, maybe this is wrong, but I think most programs would have acted similarly to what Texas Tech. And then, and then the blowback is always everybody else pointing like, we would never do that. You know, like, oh, that's over the line. It's like, that's so college football.

Yeah, yeah, it just, it did feel like we were kind of all losing our mind for a moment there because we were talking about it like there had been— we get it, like there is— when you, when you have a college football town and you have a judge who might be sympathetic, you, you might be able to bend the rules here. But there actually have been moments like the, the Bediako for, for Alabama where the judge is in Tuscaloosa, he's like, no, this is crazy, this guy was a pro, he can't play anymore. Like there was at least some guardrails and people, adults in the room being like, hey, this is too much. So then when this happened, everyone was like, wait a second, how is this possible? Like, we thought there was at least one last stop in this thing where someone would stand up and be like, guys, it's— this can't happen. And then we lost it for a minute.

And, and to be honest, I think that this was— in hindsight, we might be looking back on this in 2, 3, 4, 5 years and thinking to ourselves, this was the straw that broke the camel's back in terms of pushing federal legislation. And we saw how quickly then that bill that was introduced into the Senate now is going to go to the Senate floor. Um, because without antitrust exemption status, no enforcement entity would be able to enforce their own rules, right? Whether it's the NCAA or the College Sports Commission, whatever entity we all decide is going to enforce the rules in college football, they have zero teeth without antitrust protection. And I personally believe that we need to collectively bargain with players. That's my personal belief. I know there's a lot of people within the sport that don't want that because they don't want the employee status that comes with that territory. But I will tell you that without the ability to enforce rules, then, then this is a house of cards.

Yeah, I agree.

I think that without the— without a CBA in place, you're going to find yourself just back in court repeatedly and there's going to be constant legal challenges. Nothing is ever going to feel like it's stable unless you have a CBA in place. And the people that drew up the laws, I do think that it's a good step and it was kind of refreshing to see Congress like it was bipartisan. So it was, it was not left or right. They're just trying to make college football better. But I do think that if you, if you lack a CBA, that's ultimately not going to solve any problem. It's going to be window dressing.

Well, I totally agree. And by the way, and this might be opening up Pandora's box, guys, but we are What I see in the future, if I'm just putting on my hat and thinking, where does all this pointed right now? Let's take, for example, this idea of 5 years to play, right? And you just get 5 years to play. And I actually like that a lot. Well, that would mean, at least I would hope, that a school could sign a player to a 5-year contract coming out of high school. Well, let's say he gets drafted within that 5-year contract. Wouldn't it become just like European soccer where the NFL's got to pay a transfer fee to that school in order to get the rights to that player?

Yeah.

Yep.

Like, that's not that far-fetched. And, and candidly, that's probably an avenue that college football should go down so that they can recoup some of that benefit that they're giving straight to the NFL. The NFL is the only organization on the planet that just gets ready-made free talent. Just here you go, right on a platter for you, and we'll have a draft and it'll be great.

Yeah. Now, in terms of stuff that's going to happen on the field this year, can we talk a little bit about that?

Yeah, let's do that.

Can we start with maybe the two teams that, that played in the championship last year? So both teams have done really, really well at using the, the, the transfer portal for quarterbacks. Are they, are they both going to be back to a point where they have quarterbacks that are capable to get their teams back to the championship?

Yeah, I think there are 7 teams, maybe 8, that have a real legitimate shot to win the national championship, maybe more and hopefully more. More, but Indiana and Miami are definitely two of those teams. Josh Hoover is a perfect fit for Indiana. He's a perfect fit for Curt Signetti. Last year, no one threw more RPO passes, run-pass option passes, than Fernando Mendoza. They ran the ball great at Indiana. You saw that in the Rose Bowl against Alabama. And then they had the RPO off of that and he excelled in that mode. Well, the guy who threw the second most RPOs in all of college football last year was Josh Hoover from TCU. So he's a guy that skillset-wise, I think translates. I think he will be able to cut down on the interceptions with a better defense, with a better run game. So I think Indiana is going to be right back there. They got really good players on that team, both sides of the ball. And I think Miami is easily one of the best teams in the country. I know they're replacing a ton of NFL talent up front on the line of scrimmage, but if you just looked at their defensive line, you know that they're replacing all those defensive linemen, with 5 guys that were former 5-star players.

So like, they probably are going to be really good. And I think Darian Mensah is going to be fantastic. And one of our cover guys for, for EA, Malachi Tony, he's one of my favorite players in the entire sport.

Baby Jesus. So, all right, so what are your 8 teams that you have right now in, in late June that could win the national title?

Okay, so in no particular order, uh, I would say Oregon, uh, just out of the Big Ten, Oregon, Indiana, and Ohio State. I think you've got Texas and Georgia out of the SEC. You've got Notre Dame is, is going to be fantastic. You've got Miami. I think Miami is going to be incredible. And then the other team that I would throw in there is LSU. Yeah, I have this hunch that we're gonna, we're gonna turn on the TV and we're gonna watch LSU play Clemson and we're gonna be like, oh dang, that is a $40 million roster. Like, that's one of the best rosters in the entire sport. And Sam Leavitt's got all the experience you need to go win at the top level. Lane is a really good coach. He'll fix them offensively. You know, Leavitt will play well in that system because it's a quarterback-friendly system. So those would be my 7, 8 teams at least right now. But there's some, some teams right on the outside looking in that I think could make some waves as well.

It's also— we— so we, we actually were lucky enough to spend a couple days down at LSU with Lane, and like we, we were in the building for a full day and hanging out. Like, it's, it's crazy how quickly Lane, like, makes a program Lane, you know what I mean? It's not— it really, it really felt like his— he had already kind of sunk his teeth in and been like, this is my operation, forget what the last guy is. Because I, I never went down there when Brian Kelly was there, but I'd have to imagine it was pretty uptight. And Brian Kelly runs— it was a lot more laid back. It was a lot more confident of, like, easy confidence of, like, hey, we know what we're gonna do and we're just gonna do it. And I think that that's, that's something that he can, he can have that effect right away. Like, it might not take like a few years. It might just be boom, they're ready to go.

And well, and he's done it.

Yeah.

You know, everyone, I hear a lot of people in like my position start talking about like, well, I don't know if all these transfers are going to gel. It's like, what do you think he's done the last 2 or 3 years? This is exactly what he's done at Ole Miss. Um, plus everybody has transfers, so I think that the baseline that everybody else is starting from, there's not a margin to make up if you've got a roster full of guys that are playing for the first time together. And he's proven that he's got systems that are simple enough and effective enough that the guys can learn them and that they can play at a high level right away.

Yeah.

Um, I'm curious what you think about Alabama because I was looking at their schedule And until they get to Georgia on October 10th, they have— they start out with East Carolina, Kentucky, Florida State, South Carolina, and Mississippi State. Going into that game against Georgia, do you expect them to be undefeated? And if not, how hot is that seat going to be?

Um, I, I do, but I think that they're going to be in a real close one in there. You know, I know this sounds crazy, but Will Stein's a really good coach and he's built up Kentucky this, this offseason.

Yeah, we're actually—

that's a massive—

Big fans of him. We love him because, yes, well, he likes us, he listens to us, so we immediately were like, dude, we'll defend you everywhere.

Dark horse Coach of the Year candidate.

Yeah, it's that easy for us. Yeah.

So Will, Will and I go way back. So he, he was a backup for Teddy Bridgewater at Louisville, if you'll remember. That's kind of how he cut his teeth. The offensive coordinator there for, for Teddy at Louisville was a guy named Sean Watson. Sean Watson was my offensive coordinator, so I know exactly how Will was taught. We talk about it a lot. I've been a big fan of his ever since he was, shoot, a quality control guy at Louisville, and then he was a kind of a low-level staffer at Texas. So I've been following him for a long time, and I think he's going to do a heck of a job at Kentucky. I really do. Um, but back to the Alabama question, then they also have to face Lenore Sellers, you know, like Okay, like that's, that's not a gimme. Plus, and Bama fans hate it when I bring this up, absolutely hate it, but I would just say the, the number one element of a quality team that can go really far in college football now and in the modern game is an experienced quarterback. And when you trot somebody out that has no starts, you better have an incredible team around them.

Now I know Bama fans would tell you that their defense is going to be outstanding. But they couldn't run the football at all last year at all. And if that doesn't change and you've got a brand new quarterback in there, I know Ty Simpson was basically a brand new quarterback, but look how he struggled when they couldn't run the football and then couldn't protect him. So, you know, I guess to answer your question, I think they'll be undefeated. I think they're going to have to win a really tight ballgame in order to be undefeated when they face Georgia. And I do think that the, that Kalen's seat is going to be pretty hot. I was, shocked is not the right word. I was surprised that he got that extension. Um, I, I was surprised. I, I didn't think it was necessarily— well, I mean, they can do whatever they want to do, but I— when he got that extension, I was like, well, that's interesting.

Yeah, I, I would agree with that. And, um, if you're looking like big picture stuff here, who would be the, the top 5 Heisman guys in your mind right now?

Oh man. A lot of good quarterbacks, a lot of good quarterbacks. I like Dante Moore a lot, guys, and that Oregon team is loaded. Lots of experience. I think he's going to have a great shot. I think Jeremiah Smith is going to have a great shot, although he's going to share, share things with Julian San. You've got Arch at Texas. Watch out for Cam Coleman at Texas. I'd be interested in what Gunnar Stockton is able to do, but I have a, a real question mark about who he's throwing to at Georgia. Um, and then Malachi Tony, guys, like, I think Malachi Tony is gonna light the world on fire. I think he could have a huge year.

I, I, I want to throw another name, CJ Carr. Like, I think that there's always something about Notre Dame that will get you— because we've joked about it on this show, the Heisman is the one award where it is— it's a little bit of a joke because of how many guys get to vote and, and women get to vote on the award. And there's just no way all the voters are watching every game. It just is a fact. So when you talk about a note like Notre Dame, they go on a nice run and their quarterback is really good. Like those are the storylines. It's, it's more storyline than, than on-field production sometimes with the Heisman.

And two things that would back your point up. Number one, their schedule is cake, absolute cake, right? They've got Miami and BYU. Basically.

Wait, don't sleep on my Badgers. Week 1 at Lambeau, you can actually— you could sleep on us.

Yeah, BYU.

Yeah.

Um, and then also, this, this team is going to transform a little bit. They're, they're not going to be just a run-oriented— they'll run the ball well because their offensive line is great, but they lose those two backs, uh, Price and, and Love, and now it's going to be a little bit more of a throw-oriented team. And, and they've got really good players on the outside. Uh, isn't, uh, The Quincy Porter kid is the one, the transfer in from Ohio State. Watch out for Quincy Porter, Irish fans, because I think he could have a big year. But to your point, Carr, Carr should be the focal point of a team that's likely going to be undefeated. I think they have the highest over-under of anybody in college football because of that schedule. Yeah, 11.5. I think it's 11.5.

It would make sense. I mean, that is the, that is always the, the thing with Notre Dame is that the schedule, I mean, last year They played those, those two games early on in the season, they lost them, and it's like you don't have the ability to make it up. So yeah, it'll be interesting. I mean, I, I do think they should have been in the playoff, uh, last year, but that's if the ACC could get their tiebreaker correct.

Like, what are we doing? For the title? Miami's not— like, come on, guys.

Yeah. What do you, do you think, what number do you think we're gonna end up at for the playoff?

We, I do think we'll eventually land on 24.

24, man, that's so many teams.

It is, it is. That's too many. I mean, we could do a whole 30 minutes just on this topic.

Yeah.

I don't disagree that it's too many, but I also know that there's some unintended consequences of what's going on right now with 12. In, in particular in light of the NIL era and space. So for instance, like, if you only have 12, we're going to get to a point where at least half of every major conference feels like they just don't have access, right? Well, what makes them invest $25 million a year in their roster like that? You know, like, they no ROI on that. They can't generate any, any juice. I did a show on this talking about, you know, this, this playoff model. And I would just say that right now with, with the way teams are having to invest to build their roster and, and the, the minimal access that everyone gets to the playoff or the postseason, and it's not even just the postseason, it's meaningful postseason because we've middled out the middle class of college football. You can no longer go 9-3 go to the Citrus Bowl and say that was a really good year, right? Every bit of success and meaning for success is now tied to just, are you in the playoff or are you not?

Um, so like, there is downstream effects to that. Like, if, if you were to put a 24-team model all the way back to 2014, you would have seen that 81 teams would have made at least one appearance. Well, at least in, in that regard, you would have almost every single Power Four team and, and many others that feel engaged and they can recruit, they can fundraise, they can sell, you know, season tickets. Now, is it the, the best possible model? I don't know. Um, and the other part of this is whatever gets them more on campus. If this model, 2014 model, gets them to play more games on campus in the playoff, then I would, I would be for it.

That's a fair point. I, I, I also think that like going into the conferences and, and maybe maybe making it more like the NFL in terms of divisions, and then you like, hey, if you win your division, you get an automatic. So it's like, hey, we have a path going into the season. We know exactly what we have to do. We had to beat the 3 or 4 teams in our region, and then we got a seat at the table. I think that also would help get people a little bit more engaged with it as well.

So I'm a proponent of automatic qualifiers, and, and there are a lot of people that aren't, and they just want the selection-based model that we have currently. But I, I'm, I'm with you. I think that we should have a number for every conference that it's like, okay, you know, if you're in the top 4 in the SEC or the Big Ten, it's like boom, you're in.

Yeah.

You know, well then that makes November pretty interesting because there's 8 or 9 teams within a game of that 4th spot or 5th spot, whatever it is.

Yeah.

Um, and I think that's, that's interesting. The other part of that that you're, you're referencing, if we continue to just have 12 with the selection-based inclusion, we're going to hollow out the non-conference, which we're already seeing. There's like no good non-conference games. There's a couple of monsters, no doubt, but the— there's no depth to the non-conference schedule whatsoever. What I would love to see as the SEC moves to 9 games now within conference and everybody else is playing 9 games in conference, I would love to see an NFL-style scheduling model in the non-conference. Yeah, you get put in a pod based on where you finished the previous year. And then we're just going to do a lottery in the spring and say, okay, who's playing who next year?

Yeah.

You know, we would get, we would get 30 more games that would be highly valuable. And that's another way to generate revenue. Let's put it this way. If the NFL is taking their sponge, their, their schedule is a sponge. They are squeezing it right now, every which direction to get every drop of value out of that sponge. Meanwhile, if the sponge is a schedule in college football, it's just sitting in the bottom of a pool and we're all staring at it.

Yep.

We're like, oh, that's cool down there. Look at that sponge. And we're not squeezing it at all.

So what I'm hearing is maybe more international games in college football. Maybe play the national title game. Yeah. In Madrid.

You know what? If they told me that, that it was in Madrid, but it was on January 1st, I would take it. January 24th, the national championship game needs to change as well.

Yeah. That'd be a fair compromise. Can I give you one more? More, uh, dark horse for Heisman? One guy that I might be crazy because I've probably talked as much shit about this guy as, as anybody. Uh, Nico, what about Nico?

Dark horse, guys.

I—

this is, this is like where you get into the hot take territory. Yeah, I like UCLA. Like, I like Bob Chesney a lot. He's bringing his whole staff. He's bringing a bunch of players just like Kurt Signetti did. And, and if you would have told me before Kurt Signetti was at Indiana, like, oh yeah, this is going to work and they're going to go to the playoff next year, we all would have been like, no way, it's Indiana. Well, we're getting the same reaction now with UCLA of like, no way, it's UCLA. And granted, their schedule is difficult, but they've got a really experienced, talented quarterback and now a real head coach that's brought in a lot of different transfers to supplement that roster. I think UCLA might be better than people think, and I think Niko Iomaliava is the type of guy, the way that he runs, the way that he throws, and the potential for big upsets that could generate some, some real buzz. I like that one a lot. Yeah, that is a good dark horse.

Yeah. Um, so back to the game, your kids, are they going to play the game? Are they a little upset that they have to now hear dad all the time? Because that's— no, that might be the only people who are like, hey, Hey, you can't follow us everywhere. Now you're just— you're, you're talking to us every single time we try to relax and play a video game.

So while I love the game, I am not good at the game, right? Which I just like— I've never been that good at video games, so they beat me pretty regularly. I've got 3 boys, 14, 12, and 9. They are fired up. Um, I can tell you one of the things that I'm most excited about is to get to share this with them. And just like, this is a game that I loved, and now it's like become a generational iconic brand. And I'm gonna get to play with them and what they're most excited for, because they would hear me do some of these lines and I'll get a little snarky on the game, which is fun. Like if you do something that I don't like in one of those situations, I'll tell you. And so my boys are so looking forward to me ripping on me. Like I'm playing the game and I do something dumb and then I'm the one saying like, "Well, that's stupid." You know?

So.

So that's what they're fired up for.

I love it.

I love it.

I'm so excited to play the game. I mean, listen, I just finally won a national title in the last game because I had to do that before we got the new game. So I'll be— I'll be— we'll be streaming and playing. And again, you guys can— anyone who's listening right now, before July 1st, if you— if you go right now, you can buy it and you can get the game 7 days early. So you can do it with the MVP Plus members. More access, more rewards, and more football. Joel, I'm excited for college football to be back. Uh, why? I like— this is the point in summer where I don't wish summer away, but I every now and then will just like be sitting and I'll just say, I can't wait for college football. I'll just think it in my head and just be like, it— maybe it's like, you know, a little bit of a cooler day and it's like, oh man, this feels like this could be a September afternoon. But, uh, so we're excited for the game. We're excited for college football. I got one last question. It's the rowback question. RHO bac.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase.

Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. rowback.com, promo code TAKE. Zach, you made it. Zach, were you late?

Zach, I was a couple minutes late this afternoon.

What do you think about that, Joe, in terms of, uh, in terms of like teammate stuff?

Hey man, if, if you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. And if you're late, you're forgotten.

Oh, what would Coach Belichick say about this, Zach?

Yeah, we had— we interviewed Coach Belichick a month and a half ago, and he— we brought up this Zach being late every now and then, sleeping in.

Gave him a couple of options of ways to solve it. I don't know that it's completely sunk in. Have you thought about his advice to you this morning?

What are— yeah, what are the options? What are we doing?

Well, he said maybe get more alarm clocks. And then Zach was like, yeah, I have— I have 3. And then Belichick was like, maybe see a doctor. Yeah, I don't think that you've seen a doctor yet.

I think you should probably see a doctor. I— my advice would just be get out of bed.

Yeah, that's good advice.

That's really good. Have you tried that?

You know, that is strong advice, sir.

Oh, you don't sound great. Uh, you sound like you just woke up a second ago.

How late were you up last night?

I, uh, I went to bed when we got— when we left, so like, what was it, like 11:30?

You went straight to bed at 11:30?

Maybe, maybe 20 minutes.

Did you wake up at 3 AM and smoke a pack of Marlboros? Like, what is happening?

No, no, no.

I'm gonna defend Zach a little bit right here. He did, uh, do Wake Up Barstool with me yesterday, so the day was a wake up at 5:30 and we worked all the way till 11 PM. That's a long day. Now, okay, not in defense of Zach, I was here more than enough time, and I also probably got up 3 hours before you because my kids woke me up at 6 AM. But still, that was a long day you put in yesterday, Zach.

Not, not even close to a reason to be late today.

Okay, all right, so do you have a question?

Second question for me: are you feeling okay? You sound like you're sick.

Uh, I got like a throat thing, but I'm not under— not sick though.

Okay, but just a throat thing?

Yeah, I think it's just like a sore throat.

Yeah.

Okay. All right, Zach, go ahead.

Fever though. Question for Joe this morning.

Yeah.

Uh, what's going on, Joe? How are you doing today, sir?

I'm good. I'm feeling better than you.

I, I did have a quick question for you about the game. You know, the game's coming out, everybody's pretty excited. Do you have like a 1-1 team that you're looking forward to getting in there and rebuilding this year?

Oh yeah, man, my, my Colorado Buffaloes. Like, anytime that I play, I play with Colorado. So getting them to a point where we're playing playoff games in Folsom, and now they've got the weather, the dynamic weather this year— it's a— they've always moved the game forward, so then you get the weather in Colorado.. But that's the team that I'm always looking to build up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You gotta start with your own team.

We have, you have—

Yeah, that's right.

You got a follow-up, Zach?

If we go, if we go third party outside of own teams, do you have any alternate jerseys like growing up on the game that you would switch to all the time that maybe like take you back to like a time and place where like, oh, this was, this was a good jersey set. I like this jersey set.

So hot take from me. I am the old man yelling at the clouds when it comes to uniforms. I love the classics. Like, give, give me like the Alabama uniform or the Texas, Texas on the road. Like, give me the all-white. So, and, and this is dumb of me because the last game I ever played in college, the all-whites Texas, Vince Young's Texas team knocked me out, put me in the hospital, and I still love those uniforms. So I, I'm a classics guy. If I were to go and win a national championship with a classic uniform I think it would— I think it would be Texas with the all whites.

Yeah.

Because I just can't get the, like, the Vince Young with the confetti coming down out of my head.

Also bring back the big mesh. Like, I think of— I think of college football. I think of Colorado had it, Nebraska, like the, the real mesh uniforms.

Yes. I love that idea.

Yeah.

Do you remember one of my favorite covers was— do you remember all the way back, like late '90s, and it was Tommy Frazier on the COVID It was like '98 or something. He's running Like, yes, dude, those, those old like Jason Peter, Nebraska, Tommy Frazier teams with the, with the big, with the big old— you could barely see the number. You could see their pads right through their jerseys because of the big mesh. Yep, you bet. Yeah, that was a great era.

Get a finger stuck in the mesh holes.

They were so big.

Yeah, like break it, break it right off.

Bring it back.

And the jerseys didn't even come down under their pads. Yes, remember that?

Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, you had had like a fullback with a cowboy collar. Oh man, it's like, this is the best.

Yeah, the face mask with the bar down the middle too.

Yeah, the bar down the middle. Like, who was— oh gosh, who was it? Corey Schlesinger. Oh yeah, the bar down the middle, right? And then the, the shoulder pads were so wide, like Andy Katz and Moyer, you could— couldn't even walk through a garage door.

Yep.

You know, it's like, it's an amazing era.

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Joel, thank you so much for joining us. Uh, when you're here in Chicago for Big Ten Media Day, you got to stop by. And, uh, we're excited for the game, and, uh, have a great Fourth, and we'll see you soon.

Appreciate you guys. Yeah, we'll see you, uh, later in July.

Joel Klatt was brought to you by BetterHelp. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. For some, summer is their favorite season. Travel picks up, kids are out of school, adventure is the focus. But for others, juggling it all can be tough and can lead to overwhelm and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. Many worry that they're wasting the days of sunshine. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. There's a lot of different options, a lot of different ways people manage stress in the summertime. I like to, uh, spend more time walking outside when I might take a car. I like to just get on foot, spend some time out in the sun, just get your steps in. That it helps you organize your thoughts. It provides a little clarity. It's good for the mentals. It works. And BetterHelp works too. They've got an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Quality therapists— BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the US.

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Okay, let's wrap it up. Fire Fest of the week, Henry.

Good week. Uh, I mean, I guess my only Fire Fest, which I am just, you know, I'm a 33-year-old baby. Like, I had— I went to the dentist again, like, to finish. I've been going for the last few weeks, getting, getting the oral done, and I had to get a crown. Like, I got a— had a temporary crown. I had to get the permanent one put in, and I'm just such a baby at the dentist. Like, I had to—

only at the dentist.

Yeah, no, I know.

Outside the dentist, you're macho.

Yeah, many, many people say that, but it was like a very quick procedure, not even procedure. And I just was like, she had to tell me to like stop tensing up and stop tensing up and like, just, oh, I hate when they say that.

It's like, no, I hate being here.

The problem is being here. There's no worse feeling than like having a dentist appointment later in the day. Yeah.

Yeah.

The dentist is not— nobody likes the dentist.

No, no.

They need to—

we should be able to get knocked out and then just like figure out a service where you get knocked out when you go to bed at night and then they just come and take your body, do the shit. It's like lions and tigers at the zoo. Just, just let me wake up and be like, oh, my mouth hurts a little bit. But yeah, I went to the dentist.

I also just— we, we, we pugs— we pugs it up last night.

Yeah, that was me, man.

No, this is not related to that. Kind of related to that. We got beers after and then I just like kind of drunkenly ordered like so many clothes for Max's wedding that I have no— like, that's— I haven't really packed.

When are they getting here?

Saturday.

What type of clothes got— did you order for 2 days?

What do you mean?

Like what?

Like shirts, shorts.

I love that.

I thought you were like ordering like a suit or something.

No, that came. Uh, shout out to Abercrombie, actually sponsor, but I paid for it. But I Good suit.

But yeah, I, I mean, things from Abercrombie in the past couple weeks.

Yeah, I, I love it. I want some.

I love that Hank is turning into like a Rent the Runway girl. Like, he's got a big occasion coming up, he's like, yeah, I'm just gonna get, I'm gonna get all this stuff and then I'll decide what looks best.

I like— well, that was, that was, yeah, that was like, I was like drunk and I was like, fuck, I don't really like, I don't know what I'm gonna wear.

It's a good move.

Yeah, bing bing bing bing bing bing bing.

If I'm going somewhere and I have like a package sitting in my front door of like, I know it's shirts, I'll just throw the package in my, my bag.

I had one day of like, I need to buy clothes, clothes for the like the week of the wedding. I need to buy best men gifts, which I didn't even really know existed. And I needed to buy shoes. And I had the most efficient like shopping hour of my entire life. Like I walked into Abercrombie, was in and out within 10, within 15 minutes and I got 12 things just like, like that, like that, like that.

Gone.

None of them went across the city. Got the groomsmen gift, went across the city. No, I tried them all on.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I thought you were just grabbing.

No, that's a crazy move. No, grab shit. Went to the— went to the dressing room, tried them on. I'm like, these all work. Let's get out of here. Like, I came back in like an hour and a half from— in rush hour in Chicago, going from Wicker to Gold Coast to Lincoln Park. Work back to West Loop. And I've like never been more proud of myself.

That's actually a boss move. That's like when you, when you, when you complete something like that, you're like, I actually did it. I can do this. They never want to do it again.

And then you just remind yourself of like why shopping takes so long. It's like you're with your significant other and they take forever.

And yeah, you haven't been shopping. Yeah. Women be—

cannot stop a woman from shopping.

Yeah.

And it actually works reverse too, because sometimes like like, even like my wife will be like, hey, let's go get you new clothes. And it will take— oh yeah, so long. She's not even shopping, but she's like, oh yeah, you look good in this. You look good. No, like, no, like, it's not a black t-shirt. I'm not gonna look good in it. Just let's keep it simple.

I also tried on one thing. I was like, this fits well. I'm gonna get 4 different colors of this thing. Yeah. And then, and then that will count as 4 different—

no, that's just I love doing that when you're just like, oh, I got this one thing.

We got to get— we got to get some of the Abercrombie stuff, though.

Yeah, get us— hook us up.

This is a producer secret.

What?

You guys know they're paying for—

no, I paid for— yeah, I paid for all this.

All right. My Fire Fest is— Pug season is over.

We won undefeated in the playoffs.

Undefeated in the playoffs. 2-0 in the playoffs. Finished the season, I think, 8-1. So very nice season. Played our best game I think ever. Would you guys agree?

Definitely.

We won 8-0 against the team that was 6-1, so it wasn't like a, a bad team. We played great defense. Um, unfortunately the second game was rained out because it just started dumping, and then the semifinals will be either next Wednesday when we're all gone or the Wednesday after that when we're all gone. So the pug season is over.

I mean, only one team usually gets to say we ended the season on a win.

Yeah, it's the Florida State banner. We're doing the Florida State banner.

I'm fine with it. Listen, we had a great season.

We had a great season. We had a great season.

We played really well.

Paws up.

Yeah, we played really well. Ended on a good note.

Clean sheet.

Clean sheet.

Clean sheet.

Played well. Played hard. Had fun.

Hit a dong.

Yeah, Hank hit a dong.

Nice dong, Hank.

Hank Dong did up.

You mashing dongs?

Just strong.

Were you stroking?

Big long dong.

Yeah, it was crazy. It was like one of those games. It's just like, hey, we just— I think we're just good at softball. And just in time.

The trick is time. You don't swing hard. You don't have to swing hard. Let the bat do the work.

That's facts.

Hank.

Hank did not swing hard. He swung perfectly and he Dong did up.

Dong.

But yeah, it was sad because like, you know, you're in the semifinals, you're playing good softball and you're like, okay, we're— guess we're— the schedule— we had 3 rainouts in a row in the playoffs to get us to this point and then had a 4th after our first game. So yeah, next season, summer season, right? We're playing the summer. I mean, you aren't. Why not?

Because the last 2 years I've— I think I've been to like 2 summer games. So I'm first up.

Okay.

I'm retired from running, so yeah, I did run for half mile yesterday.

I'm out for a game. I'm just trying to hang out.

No, around my neighborhood.

Okay, good.

You getting chased or something?

Well, that goes into my Firefest.

Okay.

I have a stalker. Oh, so I don't know, like, who to report it to. I don't know how to, like, keep myself safe. I was thinking about it when I was out for a run yesterday. It's very, very awkward. It's a weird situation to be in. I feel comfortable.

I would like to interject for a second. If you actually have a stalker, we probably should be talking.

No, I do. I do have a stalker publicly. I do have a stalker.

Should we talk about it publicly?

Yeah. His name is Brandon. I got it. And he's making me very uncomfortable.

I was going to say Mike. Mike will take care of it. Yeah.

No, I don't know if Mike can handle this one. I mean, Mike can probably handle anything, but Brandon makes me uncomfortable like 4 times a day. All the posts. I guess he's now working for the Commanders because in his most recent one he just said, check out my website at www.commanders.com where you can buy tickets. He's like, if they're not going to sign me, if they're not going to trade for me with the Niners, I'll just start working in their ticket sales department.

Yeah.

Um, it's— he's coming on a little bit strong. I believe this is what's called love bombing. Yeah, I'm getting love bombed by Brandon Aiyuk, and I just wish he would chill out. Like, if Brandon Aiyuk every now and again was like, you know what, I would also love to play for the Philadelphia Eagles. I think I'd be a great receiver in that offense. That would make me feel better and make me want him more, as opposed to now he just kind of, bro, thinks he's on the team.

Who is your GM again? What's his name?

Adam Peters.

Okay, so do you think— and actually, I know the answer to this, this is 100% yes. Uh, I, I, I think this situation you're describing to me, I feel worse for Jaden Daniels because Brandon Aiyuk has definitely texted him and called him being like, hey, have you talked to Adam Peters yet?

Yeah.

Like, you've done it, right? Put it in control, right? Like, are we good?

He's like, he's set it up, right? He's, he's got a friend that's got a great job. He's like, oh, my buddy will hook me up with a job if I need some money.

Yeah.

Hey, have you— hey, were you able to get my name? Yeah. In his ear. Adam Peters knows all about Brandon Aiyuk because he did work for the 49ers for a long time. So he's got good information about him. I can't imagine that he's going to do anything to trade for him, given everything that's, that's going on recently. But it does— it feels a little bit stalkerish at this point where now I just— just chill out, man. Yeah, just chill out, please.

Very bizarre.

Very bizarre. And I don't— I don't think that this is a good idea, anything that he's done.

No.

And now I feel like I'm being stalked.

Yeah.

It'd be funny if he just ended up like Where would be the funniest place that he could end up? Trying to think.

Cardinals.

Yeah. Cardinals would be very— the Browns.

Yeah.

Browns would be pretty good.

Yeah, that would be good.

You know what is making me do? I'm longing for Stefon Diggs. The stability. I'm craving the stability and the good mental headspace of Stefon Diggs. I feel like he is a good guy that we can, we can get along real good. He's awesome around kids. He'd be a good partner to have. Like, bring Stefan Diggs over because Brandon Aiyuk is freaking me out.

Yeah.

Okay, Zach, finish this off.

So here, here recently I'm going to be moving locations from one apartment to another. My Fireface this week is that I— you don't know how much stuff you have until you have to put it in boxes. So throughout the last week, I've been attempting to, to box those things up and get rid of a bunch of stuff. And I've now been able to get rid of 2 golf polos and a pair of shorts. And I don't really know where to go from here because that, that decision took like 5 or 6 hours and that was the pile I was left with.

We need to get Marie Kondo to work with Zach. Do you— are you familiar with her, Zach?

I'm not. I'm not super familiar with Marie.

No.

So she's, she's a lady that does— she had a show on Netflix, I think. But her whole thing is like she goes through all your shit and she says that unless it sparks joy in you, you have to throw it away.

Yeah.

So she's like in favor of like getting rid of everything, as much stuff as possible. You should do a thing where you go through all your shit and you're like trying to figure out if it sparks joy or not.

I'm like really easy at convincing myself that there's joy there.

Yeah.

Like, no, just go straight to whatever moment it was. I get it. I might need this again or stuff you've never used before. You're like, there will be a time.

Can I say something else to you, Zach? That it's okay to just be a hoarder.

That means a lot. I actually, actually feel good.

Yeah.

Like, I like— yeah. Does it suck to have to move? Because you have more stuff to move. Yeah, sure. But at some point it's like, you know what? I am who I am. I'm going to have some, like, a ton of clothes I never wear, but I can't give them away because I got a problem.

My only thought was like, I assume neighbors are going to see these things, hopefully not see these things in the elevator and be like, this guy's just— he's got— he's a hoarder.

What's the most embarrassing thing that you'd have that you would not want your neighbor to see?

I mean, it is tough bringing all the, like, I got a couple of different consoles that would be tough to see.

No, Zach, and you're moving into more space, right?

What happened?

You're moving into more space.

Get more space. So I guess it will look like it's not so much, right? Yeah.

Are you getting movers?

I mean, I'm up. That's up in the air. I'm thinking about that.

You have to get moved.

It sounds like a no, Zach.

You don't. You have a studio apartment. It won't cost that much and it will be so much better. You don't have a car.

My thought process was like the new— I get not the full docs, but if we're going point A to point B, it's 800 feet on Google Maps.

Okay, no, but Big Cat brings up a good point, which is if you don't have a car, how are you planning on just like walking down the sidewalk one by one with all your stuff?

I've got a dolly. So like dolly, you do like 8, 5 to 8 boxes, you just go down and back.

Do you have time in between your leases?

Yeah, yeah, I got like 14 days in between. So I got— yeah, actually, just, just, just literally walk your stuff and the TV's on wheels, kind of roll that.

Yeah, yeah, this actually—

wait, your TV's on wheels? You have like a cart?

Yeah, I got it on wheels, so like if you're not using it, you throw it on the wall.

Zach, when is your— when are you moving out?

The— well, I gotta be— I have to be out by the 28th and I can start going in the 11th, so I have like a decent amount of days.

July?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Uh, I think this is just a PMTV. I think we come over and move you.

Zach moves.

I think, I think if— do you think, Zach, that if we brought all 9 guys— and we won't, you know, just be— we won't show the outside of building, but if we brought all 9 guys, we could do it in one trip?

You don't want to wish moving on anyone.

No, no, no, just answer the question. Answer the question. All 9 guys, one trip, can we do it? Everyone has their hands full.

No, it wouldn't, it wouldn't work.

I think we could.

I think we should try.

I'm really good at compartmentalizing.

Yeah, what's the couch like?

I don't have a couch.

This is done.

We could do it. We could definitely do this.

I know in your head you're like, it's a studio, but I'm very good at playing like the, the Rubik's Cube game of putting things together towards like a lot more stuff than you would ever think.

That's fine. We'll, I'll, I'll bring some duffel bags and some like luggage and we could just roll everything down because we'll get a doll.

Yeah, if you have the furniture Dolly, or the moving dolly.

We're good.

All right, PMTV, we're moving Zach. All of us and all the boys.

We'll need a U-Haul.

I may have used moving dolly loosely.

I haven't needed a U-Haul.

He's got a bed.

So what?

He's—

it's 800 feet. That's the whole point of the PMTV, that we're gonna literally walk him down the street. I think—

I also think I'm gonna leave bed there, get rid of it.

New bed.

Oh, then come on, then we're moving you.

So I use—

I just—

leaving the bed behind?

Yeah, because I think it's time. I think I'm gonna get an adult-sized bed. I'm gonna go— okay, I don't have a—

race car bed's done.

Oh, King is— I'm thinking about going full-size adult bed on the King. Okay.

All right, tell me what you got.

You—

I use dolly loosely. It is an industrial laundry basket with wheels.

Zach, I'm gonna bring— I have endless amounts of luggage that I can bring, and we were gonna just stuff it in there and we're gonna wheel you down the You guys don't want to do this. All right, we're doing it. PMTV. Also, I assumed your Fyre Fest was going to be that you slept in Joel Klatt interview.

I know. I thought we spoke. I didn't want to double down. So we spoke a little earlier, but that— yeah, yeah. I thought I was in a good spot for a couple months there. And then you lose all the progress and trust pretty quick. So back to square zero.

You didn't really lose the trust.

It's the same. It's the same.

Yeah, same level of trust.

Like, That's where I thought I was in a direction of rebuilding.

Then you've said it's quarterly.

No, it's—

and it—

but by the way, it's, it's right on track for quarterly, correct?

Like, the trust in terms of showing up or waking up is kind of a binary thing. It's like, like, would I put my life that, that this person will be here? And for everyone here, it's yes. For you, it's no.

That's fair. I thought I was— I thought I was building that back. I've deleted I've demolished that building.

Zach, that's not like a bad thing because I'm just saying life on the line. I do like living, so I wouldn't want to take that 1 out of 100 shot.

You think I can get to a spot where it's like small injury?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. And you also made it for Joe for the rowback question.

You've said quarter— quarterly is— you're right on pace.

And, and we should mention that the Zach sleep-in quarterly thing, it's, it's like it's a college basketball timeout in the first half. If you don't use it, you lose it. So he doesn't roll over. So you had to use the quarter 2 one, right?

Yeah. Because this is— yeah, the 6th month.

Yeah.

So, yeah. Oh, you were so close again.

You were so close to just burning one that you weren't going to ever get back. So that was actually really savvy of you.

You got to just get to burn a bunch of them.

Dah!

All right, numbers.

50.

77.

15.

50. Wait, did someone say 50?

Yep.

Uh, I'll do 52.

37. 95.

25.

69.

42.

No, I said 52.

Jackie. All right, one more. Is Jackie Jackie Robinson or Jackie O?

Jackie Robinson.

No, no, I know I'm saying like when you say Jackie, Jackie Robinson. I don't know, maybe Jackie O.

I don't know who Jackie O is.

Yeah, you do. Don't.

Oh, you see that? You see that jumper trying to, trying to scoop up the brains?

37.

37. What'd you get, Memes?

Oh, uh, happy birthday to Mike Vick.

Did you miss any on Wednesday?

I don't think so.

Oh, okay.

Wait, it makes me nervous when you say that.

I didn't know. I, I kind of zone out the birthdays because now it's become just like name every celebrity.

Yeah. Uh, I said Mark Titus.

Okay.

All right, good.

Yeah, I said Titus.

Yeah, I zone out the celebrities.

Happy birthday, Mike Vick, though. Yeah, Mike Vick. Happy birthday to Ariana Grande as well.

Zone out.

Happy birthday to Shannon Sharp.

Zone out.

Happy birthday, Joey Cold Cuts.

Okay, that's a good one.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Bobby Wagner.

Zone out.

Happy birthday, Helen Keller. Hope she hears.

That's a good one.

Hope she hears this.

Yeah.

Miss you, babe.

It's a good joke.

What's that mean?

Is she deaf?

Yeah, it turns out she is. Forgot about that one. Yep.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Love you guys. Joking.

It's a good joke. She'd still get it.

You got to sign it. Is she deaf and dumb?

Is she real?

No, dumb is the actual correct term for it.

Yeah, dumb. They let her fly a plane.

Fucking idiot.

She did fly a plane.

Is that real? Did she fly the plane?

No, it was. It was a photo op. Yeah, it was like, how kooky is this? Yeah, we're—

we—

our planes are so good, even Helen Keller could fly them. And she was just sitting there like giving a thumbs up. If I was a patch on the plane though, I still would probably raise my hand and be like, this is— let's, let's not do this.

Love you guys.