Transcript of World Cup With Roger Bennett, 2X National Champ Alex Karaban, Knicks Parade, Ronaldo vs Messi And Fyre Fest Of The Week New

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee. It's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to Rescue, a nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new ready-to-drink cans to help fund 1,000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11-ounce can delivers smooth, drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Built for mornings, long days, and everything in between. Drink Cell Blue, fuel your day, and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours now at StellaBlueCoffee.com, Amazon, and select retailers nationwide. On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we've got a twofer for the people. We've got Roger Bennett, our good friend Roger Bennett, talking about the World Cup. Incredible time with him. He is the absolute best. All the storylines, what's going on. Getting us ready for U.S. men's national team game 2 against the Socceroos on Friday.

We also have a 2-time national champion and soon-to-be NBA draftee Alex Karaban in studio. We're going to talk about the Knicks parade, we're going to talk about Trae Young, we're going to talk World Cup. We also have our Mount Rushmore team set, Fyre Fest, Great Friday show. Mount Rushmore is going to start officially on Monday. It's all brought to you by Planet Fitness. Everybody can get strong at Planet Fitness. High-value membership that supports any fitness journey, as low as $15 a month. Over 2,800 club locations. Most clubs open 24 hours. We have our Planet Fitness corner here at Barstool Chicago HQ. We got the free weights. We have the cable towers. We have the Smith— Smith machine. I've been getting on the treadmill. I've I've been hitting some free weights, trying to stay fit because Planet Fitness cares about you and cares about getting fit. We're all strong on this planet. Join today in club, online, or in the free PF app. Hours, amenities, and offers vary by club. Check out planetfitness.com or stop by your local club for more information. Must be 18 years old to enroll or 13 to 17 with a parent/guardian.

We're all strong on this planet. Join today in club, online, or in the free PF app. Okay, let's go.

Mama.

Hey, football guy!

Martino, AWM.

Pardon my take, yeah.

Pardon my take, yeah. Pardon my take, yeah. Pardon my take, yeah.

Pardon my take. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday. June 19th and the New York Knicks parade.

Oh boy.

Oh boy. They had a parade, Hank. They had a parade.

It was quite a parade. Let me just say that I hope everybody had a really good time. Now, that said, I saw the pictures of the subway system and the streets, and I think there's probably only maybe a handful of places that aren't in active war zones that I would rather be less than downtown Manhattan during the Knicks parade. It was just like claustrophobic. Everyone jammed in, couldn't move. But that said, the Knicks fans that were there having a great time, that will be a day that you will— I was going to say never forget. You probably will. A lot of them probably will forget it from alcohol, but it's going to be a seminal moment in your life. And it looked awesome for them.

Listen, I get the, the idea of the, um, What you're talking about, the train station, that, that part where everyone was just stuck underground for like 30 minutes because they couldn't— there's just a logjam of humans. Those things, that would suck. I think when you go to a parade like this, you're basically saying, fuck it, it's going to suck at some points getting in and out, but we're going to have the best time ever. And what— from what I saw, I saw a twerk battle where a woman pushed another woman off of a lamppost and then twerked right in her face. Jalen Brunson had a great quote and a great— he was just walking. I think it was down Broadway with the Larry O'Brien Trophy, literally the king of New York. Probably the coolest moment that— or the coolest anyone's ever looked, just walking, being like, this is all mine. But his quote, there are a lot of people who have a lot of opinions, but when you prove them wrong, you don't have to say shit to them. Nah, they don't deserve it. Thank you. I love that. He could have just been like, you know, Philadelphia Eagles parade where it's like calling out all the haters or, you know, sometimes these parades like, oh, these people didn't believe in us.

I think the Chiefs did that. They called out Stephen A. Schaefer a few years ago. He's like, yeah, Becky Hammond, all these people. I don't care. I'm not even going to say your name. I'm not going to give you a name check because that just helps you. That elevates you. I proved you wrong. I have Larry O'Brien.

See you.

See you later.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought that the speeches were awesome. The players looked so happy.

They were hammered.

Jose Alvarado, Grand Theft Alvarado on top of the truck rapping to 50 Cent looked like the best time. He's from New York and that's like, that seems like pinnacle New Yorker right there. It cannot get any better. That is final boss, you've conquered him. Congratulations to him. And then Tyler Colic getting detained by the police because they didn't believe that he was actually on the team.

Yep.

Was a very funny sight too. He was just like, he was running, down a barrier, high-fiving everybody along the edge, wearing a baseball hat, wearing a baggy t-shirt. Honestly, looked kind of like a Barstool Sports employee. And the two cops that were there went up to him. They grabbed him. They're like, hey, what are you doing here? And he had to be like, no, I really am on the team.

Yeah, he said he tweeted after, said, I swear I'm on the team, bro. We had Mitchell Robinson's trucks.

I love that they actually got one of his trucks in the parade.

That fucking rocks. Mikael Bridges' dog. Yep. We got somewhere. Somewhere Peter Herbst Street is like, what the fuck? Why didn't I get invited?

We got a new banner for you.

Yes. So the, so the day did— was not a great start for City Hall and, and the parade because they put up a banner. Who, who was it for?

It was Dylan Jones.

Dylan Jones, number 33.

Former Wizard.

And you probably are saying to yourself, number 33 on the New York Knicks, isn't that Patrick Ewing's number? Yes, it was Patrick Ewing's number. It is retired. And they put up guys who are getting rings who were on the Knicks at some point this year. And Dylan Jones, 33, who I— did he even play? Did he play for—

He's on a two-way contract.

He's on a two-way contract. Tough start. I do want that banner, uh, so Momdani, hit us up, let us know, we'll take that banner. Uh, but yeah, it looked— it was euphoric. I mean, the, the streets were absolutely packed. I saw the guy trying— the Uber Eats delivery guy trying to deliver his Chick-fil-A. Shout out to that guy. There's two of them. Hero.

They had like probably 6 stacks of Chick-fil-A boxes. But I saw that. I was like, that's pretty impressive. Then I realized that Brandon Walker still has his auto order set for every day for lunch.

Yep.

And they were just going to the office.

Did you guys see the guy who I think he was having some type of medical emergency and a woman saved his life and then he immediately went Sandlot and tried to make out with her?

I did see that. And it was, it was funny. And then I saw the look on the guy's face. I was like, I hope this guy's okay. Yeah, I hope he's all right. But that's his last moments on Earth.

But it was—

it was— went out trying.

It was as big of a mess and chaotic as we thought it would be. Memes was there. Should we call Memes real quick? Let's call him.

Let's see.

Let's see if Memes looked like he had the best setup. I know he was right next to everything.

Everything. He was like front row. Then he was right next to the stage with the confetti. Did he get a hookup somehow?

I don't know. I hope he's so drunk.

Oh, no. And also, The biggest story, Mr. Bing Bong is back after a day retirement.

That's true.

Mr. Bing Bong is back, Hank.

Is he back?

Well, he said Mr. Bing Bong's back for the parade. You think it was just a— he was back for just a moment?

He was a— yeah.

No, he said he's back.

He said the police officer whispered in his head.

I mean, he is the biggest flip-flopper. Like, if he gets one comment, he flip-flops, and then he gets another, he flip-flops back.

Back. No, he said here's the— here's a quote. Absolutely no willpower whatsoever.

Kind of like what you do with lefty righty.

Oh no, I'm committed to lefty.

I'm committed to lefty.

That's not what Big Cat said.

Yeah, I saw you hit a shot righty.

Yeah, I took one, but every round I play—

Simulator hit a couple righty.

Every round that I play is lefty.

Except for the one shot.

That wasn't a round.

Okay, well, we were playing.

I just wanted to fight on behalf of Mr.

Bing Bong. Jerry says get on the cuck quote, Hanky, Mr. Bing Bong is stronger than ever. He tweeted it out. Yeah. With a picture of him in the streets of New York.

So he's back.

So RIP the death of Mr. Bing Bong, June 16th, 2026 through June 17th, 2026.

He's probably back to dead tomorrow.

Are you shaking in your boots? You should be.

No. You shaking in your boots? Are your tootsies shaking like Tiffany Gomez's tootsies are shaking?

Tiffany Gomez has some nice boots, Hanky.

She's blue in the face.

She was devastated by about, Whoa. About losing Mr. Bing Bong.

Yeah. I can't take Max seriously when he wears his visor.

He's just— what's wrong with my visor?

It's a great visor. But you are— it's just very— it's a very funny look.

It's a great visor. Hank hates it. Hank also hated this visor.

Yeah. He said he's like— Hank, Hank hates soccer. We're going to get to that in a second. Yeah. All right. Let me call memes. Let's see real quick. I hope he's just so, so hammered. He's— what do you think? Oh, Memes, we're taping the show right now. Give us your quick recap of the parade. Recap of the parade?

I'm fucked up.

I'm in the subway right now. I'm here with George. What are you getting? A 6-inch meatball? 6-inch meatball. We're going to Rip Karaoke right now.

Awesome.

That's sick.

That's a great choice.

That's an awesome choice.

Great choice.

Memes, are you going to do Alicia Keys?

Uh, I was thinking about doing some Nickelback.

Okay, even better, yeah.

All right.

Couple great choices for memes right now.

Finest American band.

What's happening now?

It was sick.

It was sick.

I think when he said he was in a Subway, I think you took that as sandwich.

I think he meant— I was making a joke, Max. Jesus Christ. What's wrong with you, Max?

I thought it was serious. What is wrong with you?

I'm getting on the subway right now.

Okay, just to clarify, it's the subway with the train cars, not the sandwiches, right?

Yes, correct.

Okay, all right, Max was a little confused. All right, so Memes, how did you get such great spots everywhere you went? Uh, we just knew a guy. Oh, hell yes! Was it Security Guard Mike?

No, it was a different guy. Okay.

Let me tell you, our tiramisu guy, Security Guard Mike.

Yeah, yeah, shout out.

So you had the best day ever, Memes?

Best day ever.

All right, so much.

All right, go rip some karaoke. All right, all right, see you, love you. Oh man, he sounds like he's having a great time. Max, goddamn it, dude.

Come on, man. I mean, I know, I know, that's that.

That was— how can you— how can you listen to this show and not understand that?

This happens to me every now and then.

Every now and again, you just completely—

maybe your visor's too tight, it's cutting off circulation in your brain.

I think it maybe—

maybe had some brain in your belly fat that you lost recently.

Oh, I'll take that. That's a compliment.

I would—

I would love to get rid of some brain cells if it meant to get rid of some fat cells.

Skinny and dumb. Yeah. Turn into a member.

Great.

Incredible scenes, though.

Yeah.

I mean, I think that I would have preferred if I were there and a Knicks fan, I would prefer to maybe be in a building, be able to watch everything.

Yeah. But, uh, sitting down, sitting down.

But like I said, dude, you know, it's almost like when you, when you know you have like a long travel day and you have like a couple layovers or whatever, you say, hey, you know what, this is gonna suck. I'm gonna put my head down. Parts of this is gonna suck, but we're just gonna put our head down, get through it. The, the getting on and off the subway, getting to and from the parade, that part's gonna suck. Everything else, you just don't care because you're drunk and you're having the best time ever. And it looked like incredible, euphoric, everything. New York showed out.

And I think the fact that we're not Knicks fans is probably a pretty big reason why we wouldn't like to do that. But if you are a Knicks fan, it's like Every interaction you're having that day is probably a good one.

Yeah.

You're probably like, yes, this is awesome. I'm around the— I'm around my people, right? In fact, I heard one person that's on the ground there saying that your people are just looking each other in the eye on the street and just saying champion to each other.

Oh, okay.

That's like the New York, the Jeep wave of New Yorkers.

Nice.

It sounds like it's a real thing that's happening according to the source that's on the ground.

Champion. We— did you guys see—

Rico Bosco is the source on the ground.

Oh, wow.

Saying my favorite part of winning is people just looking at you and saying, "Champion." Dude, that must happen a lot. It happens all the time.

The, we had, I think Carmelo Soprano was on a boat, Bobby Bacala I saw.

Okay.

Mike Breen. By the way, Mike Breen, I don't know if he was specifically talking about us, but he did confirm to both Jimmy Triana and I think it was Craig Carton's show that he was going to do a triple bang if Brunson had hit that 3 in game 4. And I think the quote he used with Craig Carton was something like,— it became a thing because those two, those two knuckleheads that I talked to.

Couple of knuckleheads.

Yeah.

Yeah. Listen, that is an incredible compliment. If Mike Breen— he doesn't have to know who we are, what the show is. But if he's like, yeah, those two knuckleheads, I'm like, thank you, Mike Breen. I love you.

The fact that he was going to send out a triple bang to some knuckleheads is— that's pretty cool.

And I believe him because he said he would. That's why he went triple.

It's good.

Yep. And then I saw— I saw a lot of replays recently of that 3-pointer that Brunson took that led to the OG tip-in. And it looks like Wimby got a fingertip on it.

Yep.

Making the shot fall short, making OG be able to run in there and tip it in.

The soft landing, yeah.

It is really just, man, there's, this is gonna be an NBA Finals that we talk about, I feel like, for decades.

Yeah.

I really do. Hank, what do you think?

I agree.

I don't think so. I think you guys are prisoners of the moment.

Nah.

You'll say this next year too.

Nah.

I don't think so. I think this is it. No, I have seen some New York Knicks fans saying that this championship for them feels like 3 or 4 for another franchise just because of how much it means to the city and how long they've waited for it. What do you think about that, Hank?

I mean, good for them. I—

that's fine.

It was one championship, but it feels like more. Definitely feels like it feels like the biggest one out of that run where we've got like a new champion every year. It probably feels like the biggest one. Mm-hmm.

Max, what do you think?

To them.

I don't know how I'm supposed to answer this question.

Okay, he's still stuck on the subway thing. It's still got him.

No, because I've had championships too, so I—

No, the graphic that shows like the last NBA champions and how many years has it been since we've had a repeat?

8 in a row.

8 in a row.

This one does feel very memorable, especially, I mean, if you're comparing the celebrations between Knicks fans compared to the celebrations between Celtics fans when they won.

I wasn't directly, but now that you bring it up, I'm inclined to agree. There's probably a little bit of parade fatigue in Boston. No.

I mean, Hank said himself, he was like, I couldn't really get that excited.

What do you—

what?

You were killing them and then you guys just— you guys went viral for the worst celebration.

We were up by 40. We had been celebrating the whole game.

Yeah, you couldn't even get that excited for the final whistle.

Okay. So I think that New York—

again, my guy, this is— we've wiped off the whiteboard. Yeah, we've gone 0 days since making this the Knicks championship about the Celtics.

New York— I didn't do that.

I'm just saying that New York, they have been thirsty for a championship. They've been starving for a championship and they got it. So they're going to celebrate for a while. Boston, on the other hand, it does feel like they— like it's like every year, I got to go to another parade again. Okay, I guess I'll buy my ticket. Okay, I guess we'll cue the duck boats.

But He hit you with the blah, blah, blah, blah. Should we talk about the other big news in the NBA? Trae Young?

Yeah, Max has actually been looking forward to talking about this more than I have.

He was mad that we weren't able to talk about, I said save it for the show at like 10:30 this morning and he's been angry that he hasn't been able to talk about it since. I don't really know. So Trae Young opted out of his deal.

Yeah.

Declined his $48.97 million player option for the 2026-27 season. He is technically going to become a free agent on Monday. I would assume this is just him re-signing a different deal with the Wizards.

Rumors of Trey looking elsewhere have been described by sources as nonsense.

Okay.

I'm just, I'm just reading the reports. I know it's foreign for some people in this room and on this podcast that a player would want to come back to your team after not having a contract, but that's what Trey's— Trey just went on The Pivot or whatever that podcast was like 3 days ago and talked about how The Wizards could be a 1 seed. No one's talking about it. I'm pretty sure Trae Young is going to leave technically in free— he's going to become a free agent. Then he's going to sign like a 3-year deal for a lower average annual value than $48.97. Uh, so he wants to stick around and maybe listen, we just saw what the New York Knicks did with Jalen Brunson, taking a pay cut. He's going to lower his average annual salary. Yeah. So that we can build around him, so we can, we can develop a good team around him. Hank, what do you think about that?

That's interesting. We all agree, though, it would be so funny if he went somewhere else.

I don't think—

I don't think— I don't think he's going to.

The Wizards are a front runner. I don't think— They did not say that the Wizards—

I don't think it'd be that funny if he went somewhere else. I would— I disagree with that, too.

Okay.

It would be hilarious if he went somewhere else.

I disagree.

It would be the funniest if he went somewhere else. After we made an Instagram account called Da Whizzler about how excited we are for this new core of the Wizards, that before you even get to that point, the guy is gone.

First of all, Dad, it's TikTok, not Instagram. Sorry, I'm sorry. Second of all, Brian Windhorst says that he's gonna re-sign. So how about that?

Windy's got sources.

Brett Siegel says it's nonsense that he's looking, This was completely expected. I knew this was coming. You guys have apparently never paid attention to an NBA offseason in your lives if you don't know how this type of thing works. He was always going to opt out. He's always going to come back. He knows the Wizards are building something. He wants to be part of a special future with a special franchise with special people. And to do that and to make room for more special people, he needs to take a slight pay cut, come back longer, longer.

Itty bitty pay cut.

I have a question. You said you always knew this was gonna happen.

Always.

Zach, could you pull up PFT's tweet of when this first got announced?

Yeah, please do, Zach. I would love to see that, Zach.

This doesn't seem like a quote of someone who always knew this was going to happen.

Oh, is this—

I know, I think it does.

Keep going.

This may take— this may— keep going. Right there.

Go back up.

Zach, could you read that?

If you love something, Set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

That actually makes perfect sense.

Thank you for bringing that up, Max.

Oh man.

That is a quote that is like— I want, 'cause I'm on team, it would be very funny if Trae Young went somewhere else. I want so badly to agree with the guy whose visor is, I think at this point, becoming a medical emergency to what it's doing to his brain right now. Max, that quote makes perfect sense for this situation.

Thank you, thank you.

It couldn't be—

it couldn't be a more perfect quote.

What are you doing, dude?

Max, we're letting him go. He's becoming a free agent and then he's going to come back to us.

Yes.

If it comes back, it's yours.

If it doesn't, it never was.

Right.

Yes, correct. He's going to come back.

But that is a quote that you—

that you've never heard.

That is something that is free. Yeah, but yes, but that is not a That is someone who is preparing for the possibility that he does not come back.

100%.

But if he doesn't, it never was.

Max, he's coming.

He's coming back.

But that is not what he said. Was, I always knew this was going to happen.

You know what's crazy?

This was never a worry. That is not a quote. That is a, that is, that is not a worry.

Look at, look at you emotional. The Wizards live rent-free inside your head and it's trapped in here.

Rent-free.

Rent-free.

I am right in this. Rent-free.

Hey, get in on the Wizards.

If it doesn't, it never was. Is not a, I knew that, I knew that this was going to happen. I have no worries that, that he's going to come back.

You know what's honestly pathetic about this whole thing? It's pathetic that I'm right. You're trying to insist that I'm wrong when this entire time you could be bringing up the fact that Alex Saar broke his foot, but you, but you haven't. That's, that's where you should be. If you, if you weren't wearing a tight visor that was cutting off your brain, you would bring that up by now, but you haven't. Tray Young's all you got. Trey Young's mine and he's not going anywhere.

Well, not right now.

Not right now.

Not right now. Not right now.

Right now he is not. Technically not yours. Technically he is not yours.

He is. He's ours.

No, no, no, no.

He's a free agent.

Not right now. He's not yours.

I thought he became a free agent on Monday.

Okay, I guess right now.

Okay. All right. There we go. Oh, PFT's right again. What else is new? Knocking them down. Get your facts straight if you want to talk about the Wizards, bitch. Do it. I want you to.

The quote I still stand by.

Learn ball, learn contracts. He's gonna be back. Everything will be fine. We're gonna become the next rival to the Knicks. We're probably gonna win a championship in the next 5 years. We're gonna have a better parade.

Hank, you gotta get involved here.

You're killing me.

Hank's out.

How?

The quote makes perfect sense.

The quote does not make perfect sense if— the quote does not make perfect sense for someone who was completely expecting this person to come back. Now, you do not say that quote if you're like, oh, this is a nothing thing.

You do not say that quote if you think that he's gone.

I think the quote makes perfect sense. No, but you're opening up the possibility for him to be gone.

I think the quote makes perfect sense. If you want to make the argument that PFT maybe didn't know that he was going to opt out, I could buy that because like he might not be— you might not have known that he was going to opt out.

He's been giving quotes this entire offseason about how he's looking forward to building something for the future in DC.

So when you first saw the opt-out, were you a little bit nervous for like a brief second?

It's more about like all the tags I was getting.

Yeah.

In the span of about 15 seconds.

Right.

On Twitter where it was like, oh shit, something's going on. What happened? And then I saw a big graphic with Trae Young on it, and then I had to zoom in and read the dialog, and then I had to search his name to find out what was actually going on and then consult with experts, with experts in the field before I jumped to conclusions. And yeah, he'll be back and it's all good. And my season tickets are going to, if anything, increase in value. So I'm not worried about that either.

Okay. So we're officially not worried.

Not worried. I am not worried about Trae Young.

Print it.

But it sure sounds like Max is.

Max might be a little worried about Trae Young.

I just, I just, I just want the fun. I just want funny outcomes. I just want funny outcomes.

It would be the funniest outcome.

I just want, I'm just rooting for funny. Sounds like Max. Sorry, I'm a fan of comedy over here.

Yeah. It would actually, the funniest would be if Anthony Davis is like, I only wanted to play with Trae Young. I also want to trade.

That also would be funny. All of these things would be funny.

Keep your eye on what the Wiz do. Everything's on the table in the next week or so. We could make some moves, could make another trade.

We don't know.

Could make a draft pick.

Yeah.

Definitely going to make a draft pick.

So I think we're—

You don't know.

Yeah. Anything could happen.

In all seriousness, where I think this stems from is the fact that the Wizards have been completely irrelevant and their front office has been a joke for the last, 30, 40 years, uh, which is fair and it's fair to judge them off a lot of stuff that they've done. So they see something like that and they think, oh yeah, it's just the Wizards. Like they're just basically a, uh, a parking lot for bad contracts. And then as soon as those bad contracts are done, the Wizards will gladly give up their players and whatever assets they have to other teams in the league, just for the greater good of the actual franchises that have good front offices.

Mm-hmm.

Where the Wizards are just like, Yeah, you know what? We'll talk to the Wizards. We'll just trade— we'll trade our 15th overall pick for their 4th overall pick. And the Wizards will do it because that's the right thing to do. And they only serve to make us better because we're a real team and they're not. Those days are over. We have a competent front office. We're building something. We've been building something for the last 3 years. And now it's about to come to fruition. And I'm glad that we've spent more time talking about the Wizards than the New York champion Knicks and their parade. And I'm glad that we're rent-free inside Max's tight little head.

He's got to take that thing off. It's fucking him up.

Yeah, it's a good visor. It's a great visor. I hate that I wasn't— it's going to look like I took it off in this show, but I didn't take it off.

Yeah, because you have it off.

No, because we taped Fyre Fest earlier and I didn't have it on for Fyre Fest.

So, so, yeah.

So, so technically, I am going to take this off.

Max will do whatever we say.

He took it off.

Can I be honest with you? It'd be pretty funny if—

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hilarious.

All right, good.

And Anthony Davis were just like, yeah, we're out.

Yeah.

Handshake. Handshake emoji.

Hilarious.

All right, good, good, good.

We're on the same page.

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World Cup.

Well, in fairness to Hank, I think we should put up to a vote which we should talk about first, the World Cup or the US Open.

Mm.

Because Hank's not happy with the current state of soccer inside this office.

World Cup. Let's do World Cup.

No, it's the U.S. Open. Shinnecock. It's a hell of a championships— champion championship course. Yeah, because it's got guys where right now we're taping this. The leader is -2. The leader in the clubhouse is -2 as well. Rory's -1. It seems like it's a miserable experience and I love it.

We've got a couple of amateurs that shot 200 today, which is pretty cool for them. It looks windy as fuck. They had to do a fog delay early this morning, even though, as, uh, as Frankie Borelli pointed out to us earlier, that they have the ball spotters that have the flags. They go out there and they like mark the drives in case they go into the rough or whatever. Um, apparently the USGA thought those weren't like, they weren't capable of doing their job. So they had to do a fog delay. And I think there was some high winds that got even windier. Um, and then right off the bat was Harry Higgs that hit that shot to like 12 feet, and then it rolled off the green 45 yards away. It rolled 45 yards off. Crazy. And this is why we— this is why we root for the course. Yeah. US Open, the course. As they said last year about Oakmont, they've lost the course. I love it. The course is off the chain. It's got a mind of its own. You can no longer control it. I am become death, destroyer of worlds, is what the USGA is saying right now.

And it's out for blood.

It's awesome to watch. Bryson, by the way, is 2-under through 4. Just hit it over like a highway. But yeah, the course— this course rocks and the wind is gnarly. It's great. I love— I love having one tournament a year where it just truly is like even par wins and everyone's just struggling and it's— it's just miserable. It's just fun to watch.

And everybody feels like we feel when we play. Yes. That's what's— that's what's really nice to watch. You deserve to feel it, too.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun to watch. Hank, why do you hate the World Cup?

I don't hate the World Cup.

I don't.

I don't.

You do.

I don't.

Don't be afraid to say it.

Don't be. Don't put more into my mouth again.

Okay. Can I just do a recap of some of the things that you've said about the World Cup over the last—

the fandom of people in this office?

I've heard from Hank is Yeah. He said today— A lot of fart sounds.

He's going out of town this weekend. But then— and so Max invited him to the bar for the game, for the U.S. men's national team game on Friday, today. And Hank was like, well, I'm going out of town. And Max said, oh yeah, that's right. And Hank followed it up with, even if I wasn't, I wouldn't go.

Nice.

Just really let you know. Hey, don't worry. Hey, just so you know, it wouldn't have happened regardless.

I just— and this—

probably is a little bit hater of me, but the amount of fake soccer fans that are coming out of the woodwork in this office. Like, I walked into a Gamblin' Cave. We have 8 TVs in the Gamblin' Cave. 4 of them were on one soccer game. They didn't even have the US Open on.

And it was— You're mad about the golf.

Switzerland versus Bolivia of Herzengoto, whatever. Like, these teams that no one cares about, and they're not even watching they're acting like, oh, this is a huge game. Let's, let's lock in on this, on this soccer.

Yeah.

I get rooting for USA. I get watching, you know, the, the Portugals and the Argentinas.

Sure.

But to act like every game of the World Cup is let's sit down and, and lock in on these games. It's, it's, it's performative. Yeah. There's a lot of performative soccer fandom going on.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm just, I, I'm not doing it.

I think number one, we should let people enjoy things. And then number two, You're a company man, Hank. You appreciate things that make us money here at Barstool Sports.

Of course.

Would it interest you to know that there's a livestream going on for that game that was specifically sold to be a branded livestream watch-along for, as you put it, would you say Switch League?

It wasn't. I was in the gambling cave. There was no livestream going on. That's just false. That is 100% false.

That wasn't for that game.

I was told that we had a livestream today.

No.

We might later, but that was, that game happened Oh wait, that's the one that's going on right now.

Yeah.

There's no livestream?

Nope.

You sure?

Yeah, I was in the cave.

I was sitting in the cave.

You sure you weren't live? I think so.

I hope not.

You might have been live.

I don't think we were.

I hope he's wrong. Oh man. Either way, I— listen, I'm not the biggest soccer fan. I'm not going to pretend that I'm like the rest of the year. Is it live? Oh, shit. The rest of the year, like I care, but—

Start to apologize?

What?

Would PFT start to apologize?

For what? My second point?

Yeah.

Yeah, there was no livestream.

Okay.

But my first point stands, which is let people enjoy things.

Yeah, I like watching the World Cup. I like watching sports in the middle of the day. I think it's the, the, the countries, the reaction videos of small countries just scoring a goal is awesome. And then my big— my favorite thing that's happened since we've last taped Messi, he has always been my GOAT. Uh, we're going to get into it with Rog. We also are going to get, uh, the reasoning behind Zach's Ronaldo fandom at the end of the show in Fire Fest. Messi breaking out with a hat trick to start the World Cup was incredible. I love it so much. People have been saying that he's done for years. Did you see the clip? There was a clip from the 2018 World Cup. Yeah. Where the announcer said it was surely Messi's last World Cup match and perhaps his last with his country. He'll be 35 years old when the next World Cup in Qatar arrives. Oh, he won that one, by the way.

Yeah.

This was in 2018. It's 2026. He on, on Tuesday night scored a hat trick to open the World Cup exactly 20 years since his first World Cup game. He is now the, the tied for the lead for most World Cup goals. He is my goat. He's so incredible. I also love this one guy who said, uh, I respect Messi's greatness. This will, this will have to be in the takies. I respect Messi's greatness, but I'm fully convinced he's going goalless this World Cup and Argentina are getting grouped. He holds them back. Bookmark this and come back when it happens. Now this one was interesting because when he says he holds them back, that actually is happening. With Portugal and Ronaldo.

Yeah, it was ugly yesterday. There was no worse 2-day span, I think, in the history of this debate than the last few days. So, um, Ronaldo looked awful. He looked angry. He looked like a diva. And if you want to talk about like holding your team back there, you can watch the replays of Ronaldo during his team's game. He blames his goalie for letting in a goal, like directly gets in his face like, hey, why don't you go out and catch that? And then at one point his teammate hits a bicycle kick and then Ronaldo immediately— his first reaction is not to celebrate, holy shit, what an awesome goal. His first reaction is raising his hand in the air and be like, hey, that ref called you offside though, so let's not celebrate. He seems like— and the tricky part is like everybody that's on that team with him grew up idolizing and worshiping Ronaldo. And so there's nobody in that country that's capable of saying like, Hey, man, you suck now. Please stop playing. Even though there should be, because this exact same thing happened in Qatar in 2022.

Yep.

So we should have known that was happening.

Oh, yeah. Because he actually hasn't scored a goal in over 1,000 international game minutes.

Yep. And I think the most recent one that he scored was a penalty kick.

Yeah.

It was not a penalty.

Ronaldo.

If it's not a penalty, he's not getting out of bed for it.

Oh, this is so great.

This is one of my favorite takes. This is from Paul Watson, not the Prison Planet guy, but a different Paul Watson. He said, I've said it before, Portugal need to organize a fake World Cup for Cristiano Ronaldo during the real thing. So he believes he's playing against the Congo when all the players are actually actors. Genuinely think he'd fall for it. Not sure he knows who any of his teammates are anyway. He's not wrong. Nope. He's not wrong. Nope. Could you imagine anybody ever saying that about Messi? No. Zach, you have the floor. Defend your GOAT.

You know, as a Ronaldo fan, you really wanted to— there was a thought in the back of your head like he'll kind of he'll see his new role on the team, be able to kind of not take a back seat but kind of let other guys shine, uh, do a little bit of facilitating and not just think everything runs through him. Uh, he hasn't been able to do that yet. Uh, there's another game coming up in a couple days. Maybe he'll be able to put that aside and kind of— maybe this was a sobering moment because, you know, he's seen all of it online. You know, Messi lives Renfri probably in the back of his soul. Uh, so yeah, a lot of—

Back of his soul.

A lot of, a lot of ball be played. Yeah, you hated to see it. You really did. Uh, Ronaldo GOAT, but better days ahead.

But no, but maybe no, maybe not. So maybe not about that. Like, better days is—

I certainly have. Yeah, this could be— he could just do— yeah, he could never score another World Cup goal again.

I'd say that's probably—

that's like there's a high chance.

Yeah.

And what does this— what does this mean for his legacy? I think we have to have legacy talk.

Tarnished forever.

I wouldn't say tarnished forever.

I don't know.

I don't know. Big Cat, I've got my new top 5.

Okay.

You know, this is what we talk about in the barbershops, which is top 5. Hey, PFT, what's your top 5 soccer players? I got my top 5. Okay. Number 1, Messi. Mm-hmm. Unequivocally. Yep. Number 2, Maradona. He was my number 1 until Messi won a World Cup. Now Maradona is number 2. Number 3, Pelé. Yep. Changed the game. Number 4, Gigi Buffon. Okay. The goalkeeper from Italy for like 20 years.

Yeah.

One of the greatest to ever do it. Number 5, Luis Figo. Oh, one of the best midfielders of all time. Portuguese legend.

Okay, so mine is pretty similar. We have the exact same top 3. I go Messi, Maradona, Pelé, and then my number 4 soccer player of all time is just going to be Messi again because he's that good. And my number 5, I am going to take Ronaldo, the Brazilian one. Yeah, because he was way better.

Well, then I've got—

and if he didn't get drugged before the '98 World Cup final, they probably would have won.

That's actually a different list that I have is my top Ronaldos of all all time. Yeah. Number 1 is Ronaldo from Brazil. Number 2 is Ronaldinho. Yep. From Brazil. Number 3, Cristiano Ronaldo from Portugal.

I did have a moment, by the way, that I had— I think I'm so Transfer Portal brained by college sports now. Columbia has a Luis Suárez.

Yeah.

And I was like, what the fuck? You can transfer? I was like, but also the other Luis Suárez is like 45 now. So yeah, I got to correct that. But yeah, the World Cup has been awesome, Hank. I think if— I think you're going to get into it a little bit. Maybe not on a U.S. Open weekend.

Yeah, maybe next week.

It's fun.

It's like—

it's not that this is honestly the best times to watch sports is when you don't really care. It's free sports. Yeah. You just like get to root for something. And if it doesn't work out, it's like, whatever.

And it's like, yeah.

And yeah, it's everything around it too. Like the fans that are at at the stadium right now traveled from all across the world and like—

I like the fan stuff. The fan stuff, I appreciate the true fans' passion. I'm not knocking the international fans.

Yeah, you're knocking the—

It's mostly the people in this office.

But like, the people in this office are just having fun.

Max was a joke.

Oh, well, he saw me this morning. I don't know if you can see it on camera. My visor says USA Soccer. And Hank looked at me and he goes, "Ugh, what a poser." And I was like, "Dude, it's just a cool visor.

Like, in the moment it's fun." Yeah, Hank, were you saying that to people that were rooting for US hockey? No.

Why not?

Dude, it's the same thing.

It's the same thing.

But it's also one of those situations like—

We're good at hockey.

But, but, you know what, when we play—

We're not good at soccer.

No, but Hank, you haven't watched the game. You said you didn't watch the game.

Hey, we never do it.

We never— You don't know. Hey, do we even make it to the Sweet 16 or whatever?

Hank!

We never get to— we never get to all be on the same team. Like, we all have our own teams. Then, you know, World Cup, Olympics. That's pretty much it.

Yeah.

It's for sports, you know, when we just bomb everyone. That's it. We all— that's the only time we get to go USA, USA.

I'll be rooting for the US this weekend. The US Open course.

Wow. Got us.

Got us.

All right.

Well, let's— let's talk some more soccer.

Real quick. Yeah, we kind of have— we haven't discussed one of the biggest stories of the entire offseason. Oh, Jacoby Brissett's holdout. Oh yeah, it's still going on. Yeah, it continues.

We're on Jacoby Brissett because we did, we did discuss it, but that was the early—

but we need to, we need to follow up on it. Yeah, because Carson Beck—

oh my God, who's spelling in there? Who's working the computer? Who do you think?

Uh, me, just in here.

So I'm—

that one's on me.

Jacobi Berset. He spelled it J-A-K-O-B-I-E-B-E-R-S-E-T-T. You've got— and you've got no Jacobi Berset news with that spelling. I got softball, unfortunately.

That's tough.

That's tough to come back from.

No hits.

You got no hits from that.

How do you get softball from that?

Names are tricky, man, you know?

Yeah.

It's up to the mother at birth. She can spell it however she'd like.

So what's the holdout at? Where's it at?

I'm just saying the holdout continues.

Oh, okay.

But I'm sure that there's people out there being like, hey, what's going on with Jacobi? Jacoby Brissett and his, and his contract holdout.

We got you.

And for the record, you have to pay Jacoby Brissett.

You have to.

They don't, they don't grow Jacoby Brissetts on trees. Correct. And now Carson Beck says that he's going to be at the facility 13 hours a day. Okay. Seizing this opportunity.

Love that for him.

So that's where we're at.

Okay. That was our update on Jacoby Brissett. We're going to talk more soccer with Roger Bennett. We also have Alex Karaban, who's going to get drafted in the NBA draft on Monday. And, uh, then Fyre Fest.

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Find out why Nutrafol is the best-selling hair growth supplement brand at nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com, promo code PMT. Nutrafol.com, promo code PMT. And now here's Roger Bennett.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. He's a great friend of the program. It is Roger Bennett. You can still go buy his book, We Are the World Cup, on Amazon. Uh, Rog, great to see you. Great to talk World Cup. But before we talk World Cup, you're so big time now that you have a microphone tester.

Food taster as well.

Yeah. You— there was a nice gentleman who, when we pulled up the Zoom, was sitting there in your seat and he's like, we're like, you're not Roger. He's like, sorry to disappoint. Can I test the mic real quick? And then you come swooping in like Ellen DeGeneres. I think I saw you slap him across the face and told him to get out. Yeah.

I learned that off you.

Yeah. Congratulations.

Chris, tell you, we once interviewed James Corden long time ago when he was doing like nighttime James Corden. And just before, you know, he's a big football fan, West Ham fan. And just before the cameras went on, we're chatting, all cool, and then he just, as we're about to count down, he goes, "Teeth!" And a guy just zoomed in to the shot and goes, "All clear!" And I was like, "What was that, man?

What was that?" And he goes—

And the guy afterwards said there was one time, He was doing an interview. He'd had a salad and there was a big piece of spinach in his teeth. Happens. And so I was like, is your job just to go around now and just— he's like, that's what I do. We shout, teeth! And that's it. So you're not really big time, man, until you got, until you got the teeth. Yeah.

Well, you did tell him, don't look you in the eyes. No eye contact was your rule. I, I believe I heard that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Roger, it's great to talk to you.

World Cup.

We have World Cup fever.

Do you?

Do you really? Oh yeah.

We've been watching the The game's on right now. We've had every game on. Now, I'll tell you why we have World Cup fever on this show. PFT and a guy who we work with who's very smart, his name's Sean Quigley, they came up with a round-robin bet, which I don't know if you're familiar with a round-robin bet, but you basically bet every iteration of something, and it's— you bet 20 things, and if 2 of them hit, you win a little money. If 3 of them hit, and it keeps going up and up. We did that for the first games of the tournament, and we bet all the draws and we had a day where there were 4 draws and most people would be like, this sucks, soccer sucks. Oh, they're tying. It was the most electric day in this office. We won so much money from all draws.

They don't get it.

Yeah.

They don't understand the game like you and I.

Yeah.

You were essentially just mitigating your own risk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If, yeah. Just like bet, you were betting for the worst potential outcome just in case. Yeah. There you go. That's how football's truly gonna catch on in America. I mean, there's many reasons to love this World Cup. It is an ultra marathon. We're all getting nipple chafing. Um, it's a lot. 4 games a day is heavy tonnage. We're here in Seattle, um, you know, where the United States are about to take the field against Australia tomorrow for a little game of knifey spoony. Um, it's gonna be something. But ultimately, the whole World Cup, at the end of the day, is it not just a 39-day, um, rom-com where slowly, slowly, um, Alexi Lalas is trying to win the love of Zlatan Ibrahimović.

He'll break him down eventually, I'm sure of it, because it's very funny watching that dynamic too, because Zlatan's ego and Alexi's ego are pretty much the same, but one of the two— and I'll let you figure out which one— is more deserved than the other. Uh, and so there it's like— and then God bless Thierry Henry, who's just up there making faces whenever Zlatan says anything.

It's amazing.

And you just reached a point where Zlatan's not even looking at Alexi Lalas anymore. There's like, I'm not even going to acknowledge your presence in the first half.

Yeah, but this is just a rom-com trope. This is just a three-act play. I actually think they have planned all of this. It's all worked out. I mean, Thierry Henry is the greatest modern striker in English Premier League history. Like, every single— he's the special glue of any show he's on. Any footballer that comes on is immediately in awe that it is Thierry Henry. As great as he is, I actually do think he's become even greater as a face puller. Like, yeah, he's just like— if that was a gold medal event, man, he'd be Phelps. He'd be the Phelps of just on-camera, uh, face pulling. Um, but the Lalas-Latam thing, I mean, Trevor Noah came on our show the other night and went in great depth about this is a rom-com trope, we've seen it before, and at the end of it Zlatan's gonna shake his hair down, take off his glasses, and just be me. It was me all the time, Zlatan. It does end up with them You know, it does end up with them kissing, and I think it will be possibly as beautiful and as moving as when the United States win the World Cup against Cape Verde in the final, which we also have to look forward to.

It'd be beautiful. I recently rewatched the 2002 World Cup with South Korea advancing through the knockout stage time after time, all the calls that they got, and I'm thinking, hey, that was at home for that. We, we could do that too. Now, I, I saw that first game and Roger, I gotta tell you.

Yeah.

I gotta tell you, my pants got real tight when I was watching that. Yeah, that's the best by far I've ever seen this team play. And we've had some big wins before, but in terms of like a complete game and, uh, how enjoyable it was to watch that style of soccer, I've never seen that before out of the United States.

We scored goals. We scored goals. We don't score goals.

And the counter-pressing that we were like, we turned the ball over and within 2 seconds just swarming the ball, winning it right back. It was amazing to watch. And I'm at the point now where I've said If we play like that, that team is capable of beating any team in the world. I'm not saying that we're going to or that we're going to run through because you have to, you know, win what, 6 games in a row? Yeah.

In the USA and World Cup.

Yeah. But I think that— I think that that team could beat any team in the world. Am I crazy to think that?

I don't know what to think anymore. It was erotic. Yeah, yeah, it was erotic watching this team. We have seen this team in Good days when we faced up to Saint Grenadines and Vincent and we've beaten them 1-0 with a goal off somebody's testicle. Um, the game was more thrilling than it sounds. And we've seen bad days when we've looked at Trinidad and Tobago in the eye and they beat us. Never play two teams at the same time, America. You gotta learn. But, you know, they've never— we've always been a good team. Um, we've always had collective, you know, the best. We've had like the dog in us. Yeah, we've been like a collective fist, just guys who look like they could be Hootie and the Blowfish roadies. But you know, when they pull on that stonewashed denim jersey, oh, they become superheroes and become like a mid-major. This was, I mean, this was stunning. This was like, I can't quite understand where it came from. I love these footballers. This is the best individual set of footballers we've ever had. They've struggled recently to find like coherence. They've struggled, you know, against European teams.

Don't look them in the eye, as you said earlier. We've lost, is it 9 straight to European teams? There's like a slight baked-in inferiority. This, though, it was— I was trying to think, it's like Matthew McConaughey, like, doing rom-com, rom-com, rom-com. "Yeah, I'll do Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yeah, I'm kind of like this level." And then suddenly being like, "No, man, I'm doing Dallas Buyers Club. This is who I am. I'm gonna steal Wolf of Wall Street with my cameo. I can do whatever I want, and I'll do it whenever I want." It was that kind of football. The goals were ecstatic.

Yeah.

You know, the team play was transcendent. And it was, it was like big cat. It was like Caleb Williams was playing.

Yeah.

And suddenly we don't fear the Packers. And suddenly, my God, we don't fear the EA curse. I do fear the Madden curse. The, I mean, it felt something. It does feel, it feels like everything is possible, man. And it's magnificent.

It was incredible to watch. I had so much fun doing it. Are we worried at all about Australia? PFT keeps telling me they're fast. I trust PFT with his soccer analysis.

Like what?

Like, I, I expect us to win every single game in the group stage now.

We, we got it. Funny, Tommy Lasorda, I wrote in my book, the 1994, I went down to Soldier Field for the first game, uh, Bolivia-Germany. I was worried no one would show up, and they played a video, a crackly video outside the stadium, which Tommy Lasorda said— they clearly got him to make a hype speech, and he said something like, um, I don't really understand soccer or know what the World Cup is, but if America are in it, I know we're gonna win it.

I just love—

so that's what you I mean, here's the issue. I'm gonna whisper this because it's a little bit frightening. Australia, they love being the underdog. They love, like, that they're the big locker room billboard merchants. And when we got drawn against them, because we were hosts, so we were the number one seed, everyone went mad in America, like, oh God, Australia. And one guy on CBS television said just lent into the microphone and goes, "Australia, lay up!" Like, you know, piece of piss. And then I can't remember what it was, Landon Donovan said something so astonishing about the coach that he was— I can't remember, the Australian coach was interviewed, he's a very good coach, Popovich, and he said, "Yeah, we're pleased too that we got America. Like, that's a good— that's good. We could have got Brazil, we could have got England, we could have— we're pleased we've got America." And Landon, like, talked about him being arrogant. That wasn't the word he used. He said something like, he's going to get out of here on the next Qantas flight, which was like, wow, bro. And then Alexi weighed in and said, you know, there's nothing— they're ordinary.

It's an ordinary team. And so the Australian press— this is why I'm whispering— have taken all of this and they've decided that we think we are, you know, we're this, we're that, they're going to destroy us. So I want to say to the people of Australia, we fear you. You're a very good football team. I'm just gassing you up. I'm just gassing you up. We just— we fear you. They are a good team. They're kind of us. They're kind of us. They're organized, they're disciplined, they're a really good collective. Um, it will be a really great game. I don't like to be hyperbolic, it might be the best thing that's happened to, uh, Seattle since Nevermind came out in 1991. I'm so excited. This city—

That ended well.

Yeah. Um, oh, I'm trying to remember a Pearl Jam album very quickly. The streets are like— it's crazy here, man. It's beautiful. I'm finding it— I'm I'm finding this so moving as someone that loves America, like Kenny Powers loves America, that loves football rising in America. The beautiful part of the other night was seeing just streets in Columbus, Ohio, thousands of people out there, seeing like St. Louis, thousands of people out there, seeing Americans falling in love with this feeling of connectivity and joy and happiness and being together and welcoming. I mean, we can get off on that in a minute. I'm starting to worry what we're going to do when the Scottish fans leave.

I don't know what's going to happen. That was my question. Yeah, because there's certain storylines that popped up. The US men's team, you know, the booth on Fox, but the Tartan Army, the Scots. I read— someone wrote a story about the Tartan Army and they had an anecdote in it where essentially they were all in a liquor store and a woman who had nothing to do with the Tartan Army came in and bought two—

On a really hot day.

On a really hot day, bought two water bottles and they booed her for buying water. Did you know that this was like the Scots and the Tartan Army had it like this? Because they are capturing the hearts of America.

By the way, PFT knew this. When I was in Chicago and I was walking out the studio, and this is months ago, 100 days before the World Cup, my book came out, and you were like, I'm so excited for the World Cup. And I was like, what are you most excited for, man? And you were like, oh, the Taunton Army. You knew back then, and you're right. I mean, it is— I mean, the Taunton Army is beautiful for so many reasons. I'm old enough to remember when Boston used to be an Irish city, and just to see them come in and fall in love with Boston and to, you know, quadruple the beer sales over a weekend that they have on St. Patrick's Day, which is throwing down the gauntlet. Um, but the overall, the joy of the Tartan Army is really profound. I grew up in Liverpool in the 1980s. Football fandom was hooliganism. And England was struggling, and football was parochial, and you would march all over Europe, and every team had a— was going to win and have violence. The fans, we wanted the taste of blood in our mouth. You'd go and there'd be— And in World Cups too, just pitch battles against police, against other fans, against anybody that you could.

You were letting out a profound national anger. And I think the thing that's been really beautiful, and my God, we needed it in America, we really did. We needed them to come over and revel in our buckies. We needed them to come over and be like, "Oh, they smothered and covered, what is this?" We needed that. They're falling in love with us and we can fall in love with ourselves again. But part of the joy of this is like someone who has lived a lot of football is how welcoming the fan bases are. It's no longer about like, okay, let's go, where's the English? Let's go and have them. Let's go. And it's about, we're here, life is short, this is joyful, everyone can participate. We had Diego Luna, the actor, come on the other day in Mexico, and he was laughing about how the Mexicans and the South Koreans are having a love-off. They're playing today in Guadalajara. Like, the two— Yeah. You've seen like Mexican fans dunk South Korean fans upside down in huge vats of tequila, and they're like, their lives are being changed. And he's like, I love it. This is the face of Mexico that we always want to put out.

But he's also like, I kind of miss the old days where the Mexican fans would spend hours in the middle of the night outside the South Korean hotel firing fireworks at the players' windows and just making it hell.

Yeah.

But it's beautiful. We need this kind of love.

Yeah, the Tartan Army is— they're an SEC school. Yeah, it's the biggest compliment you can give them.

It's incredible. Yeah, except like, uh, they are—

they're Alabama, they're Georgia. Like, just show up to your city, drink every single beer. Yeah, and have a great time.

I was going to ask you about that because like, what is the legacy of this? Like, playing it forward, Boston, I'm so sorry, you have been the jewel of the planet in terms of warmth, hospitality. One that I'm seeing clips in my, uh, in my feed that I'm like, all right, I've seen that one before, 3 days ago. And then you realize, holy crap, no, this is new. Yeah, yeah, it's still going, man. Like Scotland, the nation where— we once had Ovi on the show and I asked him when he, uh, won the Stanley Cup and he did all that stuff, you know, where he's in the fountain doing the press-ups and then at the Nationals game doing the all the crazy stuff, shirt he invented tops off of the Nationals game. We just didn't know it at the time. And I was like, man, you did this for 5 days. How do you not get hungover? And he just looked at me like, I mean, he goes, Ovi do not get hangover. And Scottish people and Ovi do not get hangovers. And I admire it so greatly.

But they're going to Miami next, which is, that's gonna be the humidity of Miami and the tartan army.

The sun and the Scottish heat. Heads are like a match made in hell.

It's gonna be insane.

I do want to see the videos that come out of Scotland, like the Tartan Army going to 11. Oh my God. In the kilts.

Two things have not been invented in Britain is sunscreen and electricity. Neither exist there, and they're gonna have their minds blown. But I'm interested in what you think about how American sports— like, English fans were in Dallas Stadium, they were in Jerry World yesterday, and they were blown away by it. You know, they're The sports, global sports ads are blown away by America, both the sporting reality and the—

Waffle House, our gas stations.

By the way, we got to get into the Buc-ee's European franchise business. I want to open the biggest bloody Buc-ee's in Dresden, outside of Dresden. It'll be like money. But the other thing is, how will American sports culture be changed by what you guys have seen? Like, which SEC school will be playing Freed from Desire?

Yeah.

You know, when they win, will you be— will you be doing— will, like, will— will the Vikings fans be doing the Norwegian rowing piece?

Yeah, I see that.

Going up the elevators.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who'll be—

who'll be tidying up after themselves? Will it be BYU fans? Will they be, like, just tidying up after games like the Jack— like, do you see— American sports culture being changed by this crap, or will it be a circus that just goes—

I mean, we need the chants.

We do.

I do. I think the chanting could use a little bit of work, but that's something that has to be organic. So we don't know where that's going to come from. I know our boss Dave had a couple of bangers that he dropped on the timeline yesterday. We'll see if those get picked up or not.

Oh, for the American fans.

Yeah. He had one, Yankee Doodle Dandy, very popular song that everybody knows that you just replace some of the words with, with Pulisic. And then you rhyme tourney with shit, I forget some word that doesn't rhyme with tourney. So it's gonna take some work that we have to do. But I think you gotta hit the nail on the head earlier. It's nice to see our own country through other countries' eyes sometimes.

Mm-hmm.

Because to paraphrase Kevin Durant, a lot of dumb bullshit happens in our country, but a lot of great things happen too. And sometimes we lose sight of that and seeing other people like enjoy our culture like the Japanese fans, they've— I feel like they might even be my favorite fans of the entire tournament. Them being amazed at barbecue, going on all the local news stations and just being like great ambassadors for their country. It's great to see your country through the eyes of another. It really is.

That's what I'm here because of that, man. I am like, I'm genuinely— my life is a living testament to the soft power of America, which fell from Liverpool when I was growing up. You know, I watched William Refrigerator Perry and I wanted that, man. I wanted that. You watch Public Enemy. You're like, wow, God, you know, New Trier High School, John Hughes movies, you're like, bloody hell. And it is right, the Japanese fans who wrote that letter about, about how free, free chips at a Mexican restaurant, they just kept coming and then they felt obliged to eat them even though they were feeling physically sick.

Yeah.

Because like in Japan you don't get free stuff and they had this great line like a free gift can never be dishonored. So like these guys just sitting there on their 87th bowl of chips and salsa. And they just want to vomit, but they're just like, "America," as they stuff it down. I love that. And by the way, we have not talked for a second about anything that's happened on the field. This is the joy of the World Cup.

Yeah.

It's just, it is just every day, it's just another fan base. The off the field is, and this I guess is sports now, man, but it is like just the, just the joy of the world right now, reveling in, in the United States. It's a very healing moment.

I guess one thing that, that has happened on the field that a lot of people are talking about, um, is Messi— has Messi gotten to the point where he's being mean, where he's just rubbing it in? Like, it's— he's, he's won the battle so clearly against Ronaldo. We get it, man. Like, a hat trick to open up the World Cup, and then Ronaldo looking like he, uh, he probably shouldn't even be in the continent. He shouldn't have made the trip over here. Like, it was, it was a tough watch for Portugal. And it was a great watch for Argentina.

Are—

what, what can you say to— if you know a Ronaldo fan, they're probably going through it right now.

What can you—

what can you tell them to, to make it seem like everything's going to be okay?

I don't think you can. I don't think— look, the world's divided into two kinds of people. Like, there's— well, you're always sweetened— people who like sweet, people who like savory, uh, you know, people who like the— no, people, people who like Messi, people who like Ronaldo. And you can't say anything. You cannot change it. It's not objective thing. It's in American sports too, obviously, with like Michael Jordan and LeBron, and you just cannot change that. Once you're a Ronaldo truther, you're a Ronaldo truther. I love your idea that Messi, this sweet little diminutive Ewok who can just do just crazy magic. It's not even physically— he walks most of the game. When you watch him, he's walking. You know, when we last came out, I said he looks like he's just wandered out of your local Super Cut. You're like, "I'm not afraid of that." Mm-hmm. And then suddenly, he'll just like burst into life and do like his part— like, I'm pretty sure there's part ninja action going in there, there's part like close-up magic, Ricky Jay kind of card shuffle crap, this stuff. I don't even know. The thing is, it's probably so infuriating to Ronaldo because Ronaldo's stuff is A-Rod-esque.

It's 5-tool player stuff. It's just like, you know, 6 abs is not enough for the perfect, you know, the perfect shirt reveal, you got to have 8 or on a good day, 10. And so those are diminishing those powers. And you're left with— I mean, it's like kind of James Harden-esque kind of catch-22 that he's going to take all the shots. He's not going to play the D. You kind of know at this point you're not going to win with him. But it's the bonfire of the vanities for Portugal. I said this a couple of times. They can win this. They can win this tournament. That's the agony. And they all want to win it for Ronaldo. But the thing that's stopping them winning it for Ronaldo is Ronaldo. Right. It's a bit of a mind bender.

Yes. Do you think there's any chance that they do sit him? Because from everything I've read and seen, like, Portugal has a team that is a true, you know, I don't even know if they're a dark horse, but they're one of the best teams when he's not playing. And yet they have to just kind of bend the knee to him and say, yeah, we're going to let you play. —and not—

Who's that in American sports? Who's the Ronaldo of American sports?

Well, I don't want to bash him, but I mean, LeBron is better than Ronaldo right now, but there— you could make the argument LeBron is maybe holding the Lakers hostage a little bit for their future.

So that's— I mean, that's ultimately it. And they can win. I mean, they are so bloody talented. But you gotta remember, these players all came through with Ronaldo as that icon. So no one wants to tell him. No one wants to be the— they had this last World Cup. Up. And they did drop him. And the guy that replaced him, who's still the number 2 striker, Ramos, he scored a hat-trick. And then, you know, and then they, you know, I mean, it's tough. It's very psychologically tough. But I mean, he's making $300 million a year. So how tough is it? I don't really know. And his legacy is, I mean, his legacy is magical. But what Messi, Messi must drive him crazy that he's won the World Cup, that he's still delivering, that he just wanders on. How great was it in Kansas City?

Yeah.

In Arrowhead Stadium. PFT, whenever I see Arrowhead Stadium, I think of you laughing at the scoreboard. I do, I do, I do. But to see that stadium, which is normally just like Andy Reid's domain, feel like it's, you know, in the heartland of our nation, to see it bouncing, and it could have been in Argentina that night, the noise, the spectacle. It could have been Buenos Aires, it could have been the Monumental where Argentina normally play. I found that really— to be sincere, for one very fleeting second, I found it really moving that that was America. And to see that and to witness that, um, and I do— I, I want more. Yeah.

Yeah, he has more wins at Arrowhead than Derek Carr. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty crazy. Derek Carr played in the AFC West for many years. All right, so what team What team has impressed you the most through the first games? I mean, England was great. Germany obviously just absolutely spanked whoever they played.

It's Curaçao.

Curaçao. That wasn't fair.

Maybe Curaçao is better than we think because they only lost to Germany by the same amount that Brazil did.

It's close to Brazil. 3 years ago.

They were tied 1-1.

Yeah. But when they scored that goal though, Curaçao, this tiny, this tiny island, I mean, we're seeing Curaçao on that scorebook.

Yeah.

Again, that's worth millions and millions of dollars to, like, the Curaçao, but worth even more to the Curaçaoan diaspora, that pride, that joy, that— I mean, I find all that incredibly moving. When they scored, Curaçao against mighty Germany, a really good goal on the counter, really good, I'm dead inside. I'm a horrible person. But I stood up, I was like, so I've never been to Curaçao, I'm not Curaçaoan. It's an incredible achievement. Same with Kate Verde.

Yeah.

We had that goalkeeper on, the 40-year-old journeyman. I mean, this is like a man who rattled around like AAA, AA baseball forever and then suddenly got not just called up to the majors, but almost like in the World Series, just suddenly came on and pitched almost a perfect game. I can't imagine what that must have felt like for him. And, you know, the joy of it, to go from 29,000 Instagram followers he had— No one was saying the word "Vizinha" when he woke up that morning. But by night, he had 10 million Instagram followers. More than Mahomes. Yes, more than Wembley. Yep. And every kid— I said this to him. Do you know, like, every kid tonight, when they're playing football, is throwing themselves around on the turf or the asphalt or whatever, just screaming, "I am Vizinha!" Yeah, and that's ultimately, I think, whoever wins, and we don't know yet, to answer your question, like, a lot of teams look tasty. You know, obviously France are amazing, Argentina are amazing, England didn't crap the bed at the first hurdle, which is a big, big psychological relief. So many of the teams, no one has fear, that's what's changed.

Like, the middle, the African teams are fearless, self-confident, everyone fancies themselves, no one wants to capitulate. But really the joy is, is like the Vizinha joy. The names that we do not know can just have transcendent experiences. And it's a bit sincere for your show, so I'm going to bring it to a halt. But like that, that, that is it, man. And I just hope more than anything that some of those names will be American names. This tournament is going to be enormous with or without the US boys going deep. But if they do go deep, like if they can win a couple of games, if they can make us believe, if they can give us these scenes in cities across the nation, make us feel alive, cheering for the, for the nation. America loves winners. America loves dream teams. This has been a dream on team forever. It could be so profoundly transformative.

Yeah, it could. Yeah. Have you heard anything? You got sources everywhere, Roger. Have you heard anything about Christian Pulisic's calf? How's that leg doing? He was wearing like a compression sleeve. Yeah, they're being very— you know what? I actually kind of— I think I like what they're doing. It seems almost like Belichickian, the way that they've handled this injury. There's like no information that they're giving out whatsoever. So it might not even be that bad of an injury and they're just letting us all think that it is. It might be way worse than we think it is, but we're wondering like, is he going to play? There's a chance he might play. Um, I, I really, I kind of respect how they're like keeping it very, very close to the vest and letting the narratives get out there. But what have you heard about it?

I've heard it's still attached to his leg.

Good.

Which is big if true. I can neither confirm nor deny that. I mean, thank God, a couple of things. The team has so many talents right now, and the group, this group stage is so forgiving. The way they've set this tournament up, almost everybody goes through. After all these games and all this journey, they're like, yeah, yeah, everyone, everyone is in the next round, lads. And so it is, it's a trade-off of resting him against Australia. We played them in November, was it? And we beat them 2-1. They were very good. They gave him a real kicking. I mean, it's a very physical team. It's like, it's like kind of football Bill Lambert would really look at and be like, now that's, I could, I'm interested in that game. They really gave him a kicking. He actually had to come off in that game and was injured for weeks and weeks and weeks. So I think how he's used, if he is fit, can he play? Would he play, would you fling him into that will be the narrative. But it's going to be a magical game. Remember, I'm gassing up the Australians. Yeah. It's going to be a magical game.

Both teams very good. Both teams very good. Australia very, very good. And so I do, I just hope for a spectacle. Balogun, to see an American pull his foot back to strike the ball and actually believe it's going to go in the back of the net, that is that I didn't think I'd live to see the day.

Yeah, it's pretty incredible. And you're right to gas up the Australians, and it shouldn't just be like gassing them up. We should— if you've watched the tournament so far, you should know that any team is capable of beating any other team, or at least tying any other team.

Yeah, yeah. And, and if they tie, good things happen at Barstool headquarters, so everybody wins, baby.

That's fact. That is true.

That's— that is, that is the point. Um, do you have, do you have like your top 4 Do you have a Mount Rushmore of all-time soccer players?

Yes, but they wouldn't mean much to you. Most of them are terrible and they just make me laugh with their tenacity trying to overcome their terribleness. I love— I do, I think that's the greatest thing in sports. Like being a Bears fan, being a White Sox fan, you do learn that sports is a pleasure that hurts. Is it like, it's a suffering, it's an agony. And when something great happens, you know, it's fleeting. Death is gonna come for us all. It is. And you just got to celebrate it. So, most of my favorite footballers are human beings that are deep, deep— My favorite baseball player of all time was Joey Cora.

Okay.

Yeah. Adore him. Like, I've signed— I've got every baseball card of Joey Cora's. I've got signed jerseys of Joey Cora's in my office. I've got Joey Cora Avenue. As somebody made in Chicago. I have that street sign. Like, this was a guy who was playing on a really good White Sox team when I arrived, and he just took the field every time, just like so happy to be there. So, I mean, he never took a second of playing baseball for granted. I adore him. And that kind of— it's like, ultimately, life is short, and you gotta make the most of every minute. And that's what I love. So, my favorite footballers, I could tell you, but they wouldn't mean very much to you. They're just hilarious. You want the best great ones of all time?

Yeah, yeah, tell me who like you would say would be the, the 4 greatest of all time in order.

Lalas.

Okay, yeah, yeah, fair, fair.

Number 1, for sure. Yeah, Christian Pulisic number 2. Um, probably Freddie Adu. Uh, is he 3 or 4 though? That's the— that's true. I don't want— you know, like there's the Messi and the— there's a Messi and the Ronaldo. There's the there's the Fredy Edu 3 and the Fredy Edu 4 absolutists, and I don't really— when you get into a Twitter war with them bastards—

Yep, they'll get you.

It's over, it's over, man. Um, Fredy Edu, and I'd probably put in, um, number 4, I think would probably be Marta, the Brazilian icon. That's how I'd do it. It'd be Lalas, um, it'd be Lalas and Pelé. A dude, respect. I love Kyle Beckerman, who used to play for the United States, played for us forever. Was just the most tenacious footballer, worked so bloody hard. He'd probably be number 5, but you only wanted 4 on that rush more, so that's how it go, baby.

Yeah, that's good. So are there any teams that should be pressing the panic button? Brazil. I'm mostly asking about Brazil. Should Brazil be pressing the—

Spain would be fine.

They parked the bus and they had like 11 guys playing inside the penalty box.

Spain will be fine. Brazil looks like shit. Spain will be so good. You can't read too much. First game, man, is like— these teams, the Germans have a word for it. I think it's something like Turniermannschaft. They got a word for everything. And the idea is that the World Cup's won by the team that plays themselves into the tournament. You gotta remember, these men, and they are, they're just guys, they're living together in like weirdly monastic conditions for like 40 days. It's like Love Island but without any of the women in the house. House. And so I'm like, they're all walking around, there's some great guys, there's always some pretty weird ones. Um, and it can be like, you've— we've had great teams that sound amazing that have just destroyed themselves in the first week of camp, just like, just self-immolating in there. Um, because they can't stand being in these weird, un— you know, unnatural— where's, where's my club to stumble out of at 4 o'clock in the morning covered in my own vomit? If I can't do I can't perform. You know, where's my Lamborghini to smash into a lamppost and just walk out of and go and buy another Lamborghini, not even have it towed?

Unless I can play football under those elite conditions, I can't do it. So ultimately, we do not know. And so the Turniermannschaft is like, sometimes in those conditions, just the geezers come together, just the boys kick in. You sort of Argentina, They bring over like, they bring over like £25,000 of meat and all they're doing is either playing football, training, or barbecuing. It's like, no, those are the three, three times of the day and they loved it and they played their music and they're like, man, it's so amazing. And they come together, by the way, those boys in Kansas City, the first time they, they taste burnt ends, Yeah. He's gonna, they'll be like, —don't you think they're gonna be like, we've been doing it all wrong all these decades?

Yeah, yeah, it is true. The, uh, the Argentinians— I mean, I, I'm a big Messi fan, so it's been a great week, a great week. Um, Rog, so everyone, by the way, the book is fantastic. Go buy it on Amazon. Uh, also, just a little, little preview, I think PFT and I are booked to come on your show live after the, uh, final group stage game for the U.S. men's national team.

In a moment of victory, we're going to have a post-coital cigarette together.

So we'll be joining you from this studio. And so we're very excited for that. We actually will. Well, no, we shouldn't. Listen, we have our eyes on the whole thing, so we're not going to— Well, let's just keep winning these group stages.

We're the United States, Roger. We don't celebrate group stage wins.

All right.

Yeah, exactly. That's beneath us.

We celebrate hardware.

Trophies, rings.

Yeah, and by the way, it's happening. Can we just—

Yeah, it is.

And then it's over. I think we were texting when you were laughing about what we were saying a week ago, but if the world ever lets us win a World Cup, it's over.

I love you, but can you just say this theory? Because it is so funny to me. Because the only thing that's keeping the world together is them laughing at us because we're so bad at men's football. They know that. That's why they laugh at soccer, by the way. English people call it soccer. The biggest show on Saturday on English television is called Soccer Saturday. They wake up to a show called Soccer AM. They use it. It means Association Football. So they use it all the time. But they also know when they're like, hey, hey, mate, you're not even proper. You call it soccer, you knobhead.

That we're like, oh my God, we're inferior.

That they know that we know that they know that we know that they're laughing at us makes us feel sick. But your point is what? When we win it, what happens?

It's just over.

It's over. You have nothing left. The world has nothing left. I got into it with the guy the other night and he was like, oh, typical American, only cares about soccer once every 4 years. And I said, hey buddy, sorry that we have other sports that are awesome and we, and we have March Madness and the NFL and college football. My bad, dude. Yeah. And so if we win this, it's a wrap. Like, just forget it. The asteroid better be coming the next day because you'll never be able to deal with us again.

Wouldn't that be the greatest irony funny that after all these decades trying to make football, soccer happen in the United States, we would win it and then the rest of the world would just be the equivalent of a kid knocking the game board over. The rest of the world would just be like, it's over. Soccer's crap.

They take their ball and go home.

They'd be like, we're not interested anymore.

If you thought it was bad what we did to Canada when we stole hockey, oh my God.

You're giving it up. You're giving it up. You're not playing any sport that resembles soccer anymore. More. Like, no more ball sports. It's just, we're gonna swim. Every— the rest of the world, we're gonna swim from now on. If it happens, if a 12-month time span, we win the World Cup, we win the gold medal in hockey at the Olympics, and we get the Pope. Yeah. And now, now the Pope is from Chicago.

Honestly, the only, the only move that the world would have is put Yugoslavia back together and hope you can win a gold medal in basketball. That's it.

Like, that would be your only We've got to get a Pope chant going at the World Cup. We've got the Pope, we've got the Pope. There's only one Pope Leo. By the way, we've not even had time to talk about— and I know this is the longest edition of Pardon My Take in all of history, and everyone wants you to talk about the Knicks. God, man, it is so amazing. What— I'm like a Bulls fan. I grew up with like watching John Starks beat the crap out of Tony Kukoc. 4 times a year, I have a nightmare, cold sweat nightmare, thinking of John Stock's pubey mustache laughing at me like the Cheshire Cat. And so, like, I'm not Nick's, like, forward, but, man, that's the kind of ecstasy that—

Oh, the city looks insane today. Yeah.

I just wish that everyone has it. But we've not even had the chance to talk about— you've done it. You've won football already. You've made us have 4 quarters.

Yeah, I know.

The hydration breaks. Yeah, exactly. Those commercials. I don't know how people didn't—

like, the World Cup must have had several players die every year before the hydration break. Like, it's a good thing we got it. And also it's a good thing that they go to commercial during the hydration break.

And that's why it's going to be in every— in England where they play and it's like pissing down and it's like -20, and they're going to be like, now we're going to the hydration break because everybody wants the commercial.

The one— I think it was our game in LA. It was like 74 degrees. Indoors. Like the perfect weather indoors. They're like, hydration break.

Oh man.

Well, America, you've almost won already.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, I got one last question for you, Rog. You're the best. We're gonna have you back on before the World Cup final. This tournament is the best. And also tune in for us on Rog's show on after the—

America gonna lose and you're gonna come out like, I'm just—

Oh, we're not showing.

Good.

We won't show. I thought it would be so funny to have on when we just like do it, and instead it's like gonna be the end of Four Weddings and a Funeral. Yeah, no, we'll send replacements.

It'll be Zach and Hank sitting in these two seats.

Let me tell you, let me tell you what's gonna happen if we lose. Uh, we're gonna do an NFL preview. Yeah, on your show. We're gonna—

we're gonna— we're gonna—

Hope you're ready to break down the NFC South.

Yep, we're gonna get deep into it. Let's talk about the same Let's talk about the Saints linebackers. That's, that's what we care about.

Oh, it's happening. But all right, my last question, Roback question. rhoback.com, promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Cusins, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code TAKE. Here's a little preview. If we do lose, Zach is going to give you the last question. Zach, go for it.

How are you doing today, Roger?

Big Zach.

Hello, gorgeous.

What's going on, my man? I had a quick question. I was kind of curious on your thoughts that England didn't bring Cole Palmer to the World Cup. Up if you had any, uh, any takeaway from that.

That's a deep cut. Robuck.com, 20% off. Um, so Cole Palmer is, for those who don't know, he's like a virtuoso, natural maverick. Words are not his thing. He's a very funny, um, kind of very memeable football player, uh, but what he can do is utterly transcendent. To give you a very serious answer, like, ultimately, all of everyone, every coach is grappling with the same issue with this World Cup is that you have 26 human beings, they're going to live in like reality TV conditions, and you, you don't want— I mean, it was on the— was it on The Miracle on Ice, that movie? Kurt Russell gave us that beautiful, beautiful wisdom that he doesn't want what the— he doesn't want the best guys, he wants the— what, what's the rest of that quote? He wants the, the best collective, the best squad, the best unit. And Cole Palmer has had a very poor season, and ultimately this was a signal by the coach. We have a German coach. We didn't even get into this. Can you imagine? Number 2 things I want to leave you with: if England win the World Cup in America in the 250th anniversary of America, it might just be the darkest timeline where Rocky— I said this to you last time I was on, like, America will just be in agony watching so many English fans firing bottle rockets out of their anuses, out of orifices.

We didn't even know you could do bottle rockets. And that's our gift to you, America. Yeah. But it's also, you know, the English will have to know they have a German manager. They couldn't win with an English manager. They got very close, but like, oh, we need that German winner. They have a German manager running the team now, which it's like being agony in many ways for it. They needed a German to lead us to victory in whatever anniversary of D-Day it just was, is also an agony. And so he kind of like you're saying, I don't need the big names. I just need the right names together. And that's what's going to lead us to victory. Um, and we will see. God, I can't wait for the Bears season to kick off.

We'll have you back on for a preview.

I can't wait for that, baby. I just got excited.

Yes.

Um, I see my stickers falling off, which means it's time for me to go.

Yeah, Rog, you're the best. We'll see you in a week. And, uh, you, you're the absolute best. And everyone check out Men in Blazers and, and buy Rog's book. And, and, uh, here's the World Cup.

Rowback.com. Um, big, big love, guys. Really, really enjoy every single second. Make great memories. Enjoy the Scottish fans while we got them. Carry on.

Thanks, Roger.

Roger Bennett was brought to you by José Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game, and the room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time. Suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard that you can barely catch your breath. That's the Cuervo effect. Hoping for a few more Cuervo effects at the game on Friday. USA versus Australia, when, when we, when we rip a world-class top-shelf golazo, that's a Cuervo moment right there. All you have to do is keep it Cuervo with José Cuervo. It's delicious. It's tequila. You love it. The moments are great. José Cuervo. And now here's Alex Caraban.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. It is two-time national champion and soon to be drafted in the NBA, Alex Karaban. Alex, thanks for joining us. First question is how you feel. You got 2 weeks to the draft. How are you feeling? Are you like nervous? What goes through your head when you're this close to the draft?

You just want the draft to be here. That's really how it is. Like you're working out every single day, getting ready for the combine. Now you're traveling a bunch, working out for NBA teams. And it's a long process. It's exhausting. It's also fun at the same time. Stressful. Really just a mix of so many emotions and really just looking forward to the draft now and just seeing where I go and when my name will be called. So, you know, just excited for that.

Yeah. You've been playing basketball at a really high level for a long time now. And then to get prepped for the draft, I'm sure you have to work on things that maybe you haven't worked on a ton. In the past, or like focus on certain parts of your game. Like, what has been different about getting ready for the draft as opposed to just like what you've been doing, which has translated into you being a really good basketball player?

Yeah, I think it's really just mastering what I was good at and just making sure I'm like solid at it. So like becoming an elite shooter and really just, really just doing the things that will help me make an impact on a team and really just help an NBA team win. So trying to create everything super simple, not anything that that's outside of my box and really just whatever the team needs me to do to win and just sharpen what I'm going to be elite at the next level. Just working on that every single day.

We've got a big question for you. Have you thought about your draft night outfit? Do you have that ready?

I have been working on it, actually. I've been working on it. I'm gonna— I'm most likely gonna do it at home, so I'm doing like a whole, um, draft party in Massachusetts and really just— I'll probably rock like a suit, like something with a suit, but I also want like like on the insides to have like everything that's like led me to the draft night.

You know what would be kind of crazy is, mate, what if on the inside of your suit it was that last play against Duke?

Yeah, the pass to Braylon, then Braylon celebration.

That would be pretty incredible.

I might include that. I mean, I will invite Braylon to the draft party so he, he could orchestrate all that.

Have you made the suit yet?

I have not made it yet.

So can we be in the Oh, absolutely.

It leads up to it.

Absolutely.

Part of my take, yeah.

Absolutely. Like a little timeline of everything.

Yeah.

2 weeks before the draft, did the gauntlet and talking to you guys.

Yeah, go back to where it all started 2 weeks ago at the Barstool Sports Office.

Yes. I do, I mean, the shot, I should thank you. It was, I think I, the exact tweet was like, I just came.

I seen that. I think I liked it on Twitter.

Yeah, yeah. I came multiple times. That was, one of the best tournament games like ever. Like, after that game, are you guys just— what even do you say in the locker room? Just like, holy shit, did that just happen?

Yeah, it was just like complete shock. It was just like, we really came back and we really won. It's like you were like trying to remember, like, oh shit, we made it to the Final Four. And it's like you're just too caught up in Braylon's shot, the comeback, just everything that happened. You're going on social media after you're seeing Coach headbutt the ref, everything. So really—

Oh yeah.

Also, not a headbutt.

Not a headbutt.

That was his friend.

That was a nuzzle.

And they were leaning close to have a conversation. Intimate. It was cuddling. Yeah.

Quick nuzzle.

No, no, no.

You said you have a dog. You have a dog?

I do. I have 3 dogs.

So you've nuzzled with your dog before?

Mm-hmm. I have. You know what's crazy too? One of my dogs is named Duke too. Oh, like, wow, that's awesome. My sister named him.

Okay.

So we got I have a younger sister and younger brother and we each got to name a dog and I named mine Luca. My sister named the other one Duke.

Okay. That is very funny though, that you can be like, sorry, I gotta go put some water, some more water in Duke's bowl.

That's what I'm saying. So it's like, if we lost that game, like I don't know what I would've done with the dog Duke.

So.

Rename. You'd have to rename him.

Rename him, have to, right?

Yeah, but no, you like put Duke on a leash and then take it for a walk. That's great. That's actually very cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Max, did you find it? Scroll down. I said, so wet. Incredible. But I think I said, I think, I think I said, I came. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but I remember. Oh yeah, I just came in my pants. That was the greatest thing ever. Yeah, I did. That was the greatest thing ever. It was. It really was. And it also like you, was there a part of you is like, yeah, that's what we do. We just win because you won so much that you're like, yeah, I don't know how it's going to work out. Like at halftime, you're like, You're like, I don't know, guys, we'll just figure it out. We're— I'm Alex Kerobrand, I'm at UConn, we win.

Yeah, no, absolutely. I knew, um, we had a chance no matter what. Just, we didn't play the first half the way we wanted to, but we knew over time we just keep playing the way we want to play, shots are going to fall. And really just, we've made comebacks before. We've really just been such a good team the entire year that we, we had so much belief in ourselves and in that locker room to where we knew we could win that game. So So, yeah, definitely. We definitely believed that.

Yeah. Afterwards, did you— because we played this for your coach. Did you see the reenactment that we did of the final shot?

No, I didn't.

It was in the office. Yeah, we did. We did like a full-on reenactment. We were just— everybody in this office was just buzzing for the next like 12 hours. It was so incredible.

I got to see that right after this.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not great. We're not great basketball players at all. But looking back over the years at UConn, you played on some incredible teams, you've played in some incredible games. Is there one game where you're like, that's when we were at peak UConn, where just everything, every possible thing that we did worked and nobody could have beaten us?

Um, I mean, besides the national championship games, it's got to be that Illinois game my sophomore year. I went on that, that 30-0 run. Like, that was insane. Just nothing could have gone wrong for us that, that run, and just make, we gotta stop, score, stop, score, and just, and in Boston too, so it was like 90% UConn fans too, so it was incredible.

Yeah. Yeah.

Here's the, yeah.

Oh yeah, here's the reenactment. It's on the screen right there. It's really bad.

Your thought.

It's really, really bad basketball play. It took us like 10 shots too.

Look at that, big steal from Big Cat to me, back to Big Cat. Bang.

Bang.

I love it.

Yeah, and we made it, Hank is a Duke fan, so that's why he kicked me out of there.

Start kicking the other players.

That 2024 team, I know that like Coach Hurley, and we know him fairly well, he's been a guest many times, we love rooting for him, but like, was there a part of that 2024 team where he was trying to give you guys motivation or being like, we haven't won anything yet, and you guys are like, come on, we're so much better than everyone? Because you guys were, it was just just the whole tournament, it was never a sweat.

No, definitely. I mean, he made us work every single day in practice, and it was like, he was like, this team hadn't done anything. You got, you got Steph, you got Cam, who haven't won before. You got all these new guys too that haven't experienced what we experienced as returners from the previous years. So, um, he was making us, he was making us earn. And like, when we would lose games too, that's like when he capitalized on we're not good, we got to get better at this, and like every single day just pushing us. So, um, he was never satisfied for any moment, and really he saw the potential of our team. It's just he wanted us to see how far we could go, and really just never being satisfied.

Yeah, yeah. When you would watch him before the game drinking his piss, would that be like a little intimidating? Like, oh shit, he's, he's gonna be on one. Like, he's able to just slug this.

The mushroom coffee, all those drinks that he had. So like my freshman year, I never knew what that drink was, so I probably thought it was piss too.

It is piss. Yeah, he's confirmed.

He's confirmed it's fist. It's fist. Like, that— I never knew what that was, and then obviously it came out.

But, um, did he mellow out? Because he said— he claims he mellowed out a little. Did he mellow out a little bit in your 4 years?

I couldn't tell, to be honest.

Okay, so yeah, he didn't tell. He did a good job of telling everyone he made a good job of hiding it to himself.

Yeah, but no, he was— he was the same every single day. That's just— I think that's what makes him so special. But No, I never could tell.

Yeah. What was his recruiting pitch to you like?

It was crazy because we were holding national championship trophies from the previous years, taking photos together. And I'm like, Coach, I'll be honest with you, like, this feels weird. And he goes, I hate this too. Like, I don't want to hold the trophies together. And he goes, you know, I truly believe that you can make an impact on us. And mind you, I live an hour away from campus too. So it's kind of like a local school for me as well. When he brought up the championships and just the history and all that, it just made me want to be a part of it and just really help UConn, bring UConn back to the level that it should be at. And seeing his reactions when I held the previous trophies and he was just like, let's go get our own, I think that's what really just sold it for me.

You think he was testing you? Like, here, touch this trophy, and you're like this?

He might have been. He might have been.

Is it good? That's the right answer.

Exactly.

Because that is a weird thing to ask you to do. It's like, 'Hey, celebrate, or like, a team that we had 12 years ago.' That's what I'm saying.

Like, we both weren't a part of it. We had nothing to do with that. So like, why am I holding a trophy that we had nothing to do with? So, um, yeah, I think that was, that was like really the moment when we were able to like, I guess, bond and really just, you know, made me want to play for him.

Yeah. What other schools were you deciding between?

It was between UConn and Northwestern. So my mom, she's big on academics. So it's like, what are you gonna do when the ball stops bouncing? Go get a degree. Northwestern's obviously a great academic school. So really, she wanted me to go there. And I took a visit before UConn to Northwestern, and we went to dinner, and she was like, you better commit. You better commit to this dinner, otherwise, like, I'm gonna be pissed at you. No way. And I was like, Mom, I'll be honest, we got UConn next week. Like, we see UConn here both sides. And like I was begging her. So she was like, all right, so she gave me the grace to go to UConn. And then I took my visit to UConn, and Coach Hurley and the coaching staff did all basketball talk. So like my mom left and she was like, I don't like this, they didn't talk about academics once. Coach calls me when I get back to my room after the visit, what do we, what do we got to do to get you? I said, look, you just gotta do a visit of straight academics for my mom.

Once my mom gets the green light for me to commit, I could commit. Mm-hmm. A week later, they bring a black SUV to my front, from my front door, get in it from 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM. We visited every academic building with every professor. The current president at UConn actually gave us the tour of campus.

No way.

And her and my mom are best friends now.

Oh my God. That's perfect. So does your mom ever know that you told them that?

Yeah, she knows.

Oh, she knows that you were like, hey, you have to, you have to set this up.

You have to do more academic talk. That's incredible. He loved it. Yeah, he was just chilling. He was watching me. I was basically suffering because I'm sitting in academic meetings all day talking about the same things. And yeah, it was good.

Did you get a degree?

I did. Yeah. So.

Okay. So she's happy.

Like a lot of like, what was your degree in?

I started with computer science.

Shoo. Wow.

So I went computer science, but that became too much. So I just, I just graduated in economics.

Okay.

That's still pretty good. Yeah. It's still pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. But so she's happy with how the academic side turned out.

Oh, she's very happy.

Very happy. And then I'm sure once you get that first NBA paycheck, she's gonna be okay. Yeah, you okay?

This is a good career move on your part. This isn't too bad, actually. Or the NIL money.

Pretty good. NIL too, definitely. Yeah. So did you grow up a fan of Red Sox, Patriots?

All Boston teams.

And UConn basketball? You just know— you just never stopped winning.

You've just won pretty much.

When was the last time you didn't win something in a year, like as a fan or as a player?

I guess this past year with The national championship game, but other than that, yeah, um, I mean, what, Tom Brady did his, did his job, um, Jason Tatum and Jaylen Brown recently, um, Bruins, Red Sox. So really going to a bunch of championship parades and then experiencing some myself as well.

So what happens if you get drafted on a team that wins like 10 games?

It's gonna be an adjustment. Yeah, because you're a winner. Yeah, it's gonna be an adjustment, but Yeah, I've been telling teams, like, if we're not winning, I just want there to be, like, a good culture. If, like, culture is set and, like, we're able to build on it for years to come and really eventually reach the point of winning, then I'll be, I'll be cool with it.

Like, some of the best teams in the NBA are actually in a pretty decent position to turn things around pretty quick. You see how quick, how fast it happens in the NBA.

Oh, absolutely.

Like, if you just look at the East this past year, it's like nobody really expected this to be, like, the, you know, the, the Final Four teams from the East. And then, you know, if you get a good staff in place— a couple good draft picks, maybe free agency pickup. Like, things turn around quickly in the NBA.

Absolutely. You just gotta sign the right guys, the right guys that fit and have the right mindset to what the organization— like, what they want to do for the team. Then, you know, you see things turn around quickly.

Have there been, uh, teams that you've been meeting with more than others?

Um, I mean, I met with a bunch of teams at the combine and then taken a couple more visits. So like a couple teams, a lot of contenders, a couple teams rebuilding. So really just trying to find the right fit for me, but also like teams that are within my draft range.

Did you get any weird questions at the combine?

Yeah, so one team was like, we heard you're a smart guy and like a high IQ player. So before I was able to shake their hands, they— I walked right in the door and they go, how many pennies are in a million dollars? And if you get it right, you can sit down and interview with us.

What's the answer?

It was so like 100 pennies in a dollar, 100 times a million, so 100 million pennies.

All right, yeah, you're smart. Yeah, yeah, economics.

All right, let's try another one. Let's do a couple of weird ones. Um, how do you describe the color blue?

How do you describe the color blue?

Yeah, it's a tough one.

See, this is weird to me because like, I mean, you could say sky, but then someone could be like—

I would be good.

You could say the sky or the, oh, like the ocean water.

Yeah, people could be like Is that really blue or is it a reflection?

Yeah, it's a reflection.

You don't want to talk— if somebody calls you out on it, don't talk to that person. Yeah, yeah.

What about, uh, how many ping pong balls in a 747?

747. I'm gonna see if I can find the actual answer. Ooh. Ping pong balls in a 747. Ping pong balls, I mean, you could put them anywhere.

Yeah, you gotta fill up the whole plane.

The whole plane. You could put them into, you know, different cabinets too.

What's your guess?

Oh my goodness. It's gotta be maybe like $20 million.

Ooh, that's actually not a bad guess. It says $15 million on AI.

$15 million?

That's pretty good.

That's a really good guess.

Yeah, that's a good guess. I would've said like, I don't know, like a couple hundred thousand.

Yeah. Infinity.

Infinity.

I would've said, I play basketball, man. Let's talk about basketball. Please. When you're doing these interviews, how many people are in the room with you?

It varies. So like one of them I had 4 people, another one I had like 18 people.

Whew.

And like a couple of them, it's like you're sitting like in a circle. So it's like everyone's seeing you, everyone's seeing your reactions. Like you say something, you like, you see someone write something down.

So.

Yeah, like what'd you just write?

Yeah, it's like high pressure scenarios in a little bit. But I mean, they're good. You just gotta be yourself. I mean, they've done your research. They know who you are. Just be who you are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How fun has it been to watch Castle?

It's been insane to watch. He's so good.

Incredible.

Yeah. And he was obviously awesome in college. He was a great player. So there's no secret that he was gonna be good in the NBA. But he seems like, and a lot of times we say, or I'll say something like this and it will be kind of a backhanded compliment. I don't mean it backhanded this time that I'm saying it. He plays basketball like the best football player who plays basketball that you've ever seen. Like not in terms of like, you know, clumsy, bricks hands, that sort of thing that you hear sometimes when we talk about guys. But like, he is so physical. He's, he's a dog. He's in your face. And he's like an intimidating dude for his position too. But he's been so fun to watch. Did you know that he had like this next level in him?

I knew he had it. I didn't know to this level. Like, he's definitely gone to a whole different level that I probably didn't expect either. Like, in the summer, you see him like he's doing all the moves, he's scoring with ease and like like he's been an elite defender since college, but he really took it up a notch. And really, just the way he's guarding guys right now in the playoffs, and then also dropping 20 a night too, like it's incredible.

So yeah, he's awesome. Have you ever seen him smile? Rarely. Yeah, I was gonna say, like, it's— I love watching because he's just angry all the time.

He's angry, pissed, and then he'll celebrate after a win, and then the next day just move on and do what he's got to do.

So Coach Hurley must have loved him because he basically is just a Coach Hurley on the floor of just being pissed off all the time.

He loved him. He was also super humble. So it's like Coach Hurley and Coach Young are yelling at him every single day and he's just looking at them dead in the eyes and just nodding his head every single time, like super robotic with what he's doing. Like they could say whatever they need to say to Steph, he's just saying, yes coach, yes coach.

Yeah.

Goes out and kills. So he's incredible.

That's awesome. The, uh, so So at the end of your career at UConn, was there like moments where Coach Hurley kind of like pulled you aside and was like, dude, like, thank you so much. Or like, this is, you know, like, did he soften a little on you or was it just the same pedal to the metal the whole time?

Same pedal to the metal.

Really?

We lost to St. John's in the Big East Championship. And the next day in film, like, he's cussing everyone out and he goes, Alex, you really want to end like a soft motherfucker? Like—

I love it.

This is how you're going to end your career? Like, are you serious? 'Are you serious right now? Like, everything you've done and you're gonna go out like this? You're gonna go shit on the court.' I was like, 'Oh, he's right.' Yeah. Kind of like lit a fire inside of me for the March Madness run. And like, the more games we won, the more like he was just like enjoying the moment and not really talking about it. So then when the season ended, like, we had player exit meetings and he invited my whole family over to the exit meeting. We just like talked for a couple hours just about the entire run, the entire career, just our entire relationship, everything that we've done at UConn. So that was the soft moment. But other than that, like, he's never gonna let off the foot. Yeah, never let off the gas.

Yeah. Did you ever, um, did you ever tell him, hey, like, let your son shoot when he gets in at the end of the games?

We wanted to. We told him that a couple times, actually. So when, when Andrew would get in, we'd say, like, run a play for him. Like, yeah. And he would a couple times, but not um, like in the March Madness games, I know Coach wanted him just to hold the ball and do the spike. Yeah, like that was the superstition of his, but we wanted him to shoot and we would tell him and he just, he just never drew up the plays.

Yeah, there were some looks that I saw at the end of those games where he like, you could tell he was thinking about it and you guys were like looking at him like, do it. Yeah, and then he'd look over at his dad, he'd be like, no, you better not, you better not shoot it. Um, but yeah, the whole time we were just yelling at like, let, let him shoot, let Andrew get a couple shots up.

He had to. We wanted him to.

He would have made them. We know that. Like, a moment like that. Absolutely.

When you played, so you played, what years did you play at IMG? Was it just your senior year or?

Yeah, just my senior year.

Who was on your team?

I had AJ Storr, out of Wisconsin.

Well, everything. Kansas, St. John's.

Everything.

Yeah, yeah, Miss, Ole Miss.

I was on the post-grad team to start with. So I had AJ, Quadeer, Justin Taylor. Then I broke my hand, and then the national team wanted me to be with them. So that was with like Keontae George, Jarris Walker, Jed Howard. Um, would you guys just kill people? We would scrimmage against each other. They were, they were a really good team. Yeah, they were a good team. But I broke my hand and they were like, do you want to come play for us? Yeah. Um, I was like, I'd rather just go into college right now. So I just came back against college players. So yeah, I was really there for half a year and It was, it was crazy. I mean, you had class from like 8 to 11 and then you're just an athlete the rest of the day.

What's that decision like when you're like, so you play your first 3 years at your hometown high school and then you decide to go to IMG. Was that tough? Like to be like, hey, I'm, you know, like these guys have been playing with my, probably your best friends.

Yeah.

Now you're going to go somewhere, you're going to go to Florida for your senior year. Was that, was that weird?

Oh, it's extremely weird. I mean, I never left the New England region ever in my life. So really just making that transition to Florida was a tough decision for me. But then also leaving my hometown, leaving everyone behind. I mean, I loved it, and really it's just, you know, you want to go out your senior year and just, you know, one last run with the boys. But, um, you know, I wanted to do what was best for my career at the end of the day, and that's just playing against better players, just being uncomfortable, pushed every single day. And IMG, they had the facilities to do that. So—

What was your best high school game, when you were at your regular high school?

My regular high school, it's probably my freshman year, it was— I had like 40, 40 and 25.

So you were what, like 15 years old?

Yeah, probably 16. Yeah, that's crazy. Just, and then, um, I was like, I was like a super shy kid too, so like all the, like all the people coming to watch me and like the team that we, the team that we had was really good, so like first couple games I'm going up to dunk, I'm falling on my back, like missing all the dunks just from the nerves of it all. And, um, yeah, then just really going out to drop 40 and 20 pretty much every night at Algonquin.

Yeah, when did you first dunk?

Late 7th grade, early 8th grade.

That's awesome. Just in middle school dunking on people, that's kind of—

No, I swear there were some like hometown middle school games we're playing different towns I was just dunking on people. Just, it was cheating.

Did it shock you? Yeah, looking back on it, do you feel bad? Do you feel bad for dunking on a 7th grade kid?

I do feel bad, but then when I see these kids grow up and like, you know, just talking to them like past the middle school days, they loved it.

Yeah. Really.

So you can say like, oh yeah, Alex Kiribin dunked on me.

No, exactly. So they love every second of it.

Did you shock yourself when you dunked the first time?

Yeah, I did.

You're like, holy fuck.

Yeah, I didn't expect it. It's like you want your dad to videotape you doing it and like you watch in slow motion and then you post on the Instagram story growing up and try to get some hype around it.

Yeah, that's gotta be a great, like, what am I doing up here? How am I hanging off the rim? Actually, and also the guys that you used to dunk on in like 7th, 8th grade, just reminds you, like they grew up and they probably get mad at you if their parlay doesn't hit.

Oh, absolutely.

So you need to get those dunks in while you can just to remind them, yeah, okay, I'm on a slightly different level. Level.

Absolutely. And they definitely have bet on me before, probably.

So yeah. What's the, uh, what's the most shots that you've made in a row in practice?

In a practice?

3-pointers. Yeah.

It was during like live play, like, like during like 5-on-5 action or just, uh, no, like a workout.

The most threes you've made in a row. Yeah.

Might have been 72 maybe. That's so many shots.

That's so many shots. Yeah. So fun. I got a question about one of your— the assistants, Luke Murray, who's now at Boston College. Yeah. It was— he just— would he draw stuff up for you guys offensively? Because it felt like the one thing that you guys did better than anyone is like you always had different actions that other teams weren't expecting and weren't ready for. And you'd see it like in the Big East schedule would be a slog. But then the minute I would say this, that all the time, but like your 4 years, like you guys barely ever lost out of conference. Would he just have things ready to go? That's just like, we just know it's gonna work.

Yeah, he would have, he'd have a bunch of plays drawn up and like, he would always do it out of like the same set or like a formation and really just, you think one action's happening but he has a counter, like a different play out of that formation. So really, he had a whole bunch of plays and like, we would do install before every practice and it's like an install of a new play. So like, and you could see Coach and, um, Coach Murray just like talking about it, like talking us through it all. And there were a bunch of times too during my career where it was like Coach Murray's calling me upstairs and like he's drawing up plays for me and just trying to see my thoughts or if we want to draw something up, like try to get ideas from me too. So he was nonstop thinking about new sets and really just trying to give us an advantage.

Yeah. Was there a team that in conference play you felt like, okay, this is like some actual bad blood? Providence.

Providence was always chirping us. I mean, they hated us, they hated Coach 'cause he was at Rhode Island. Creighton, Creighton would get bad too.

Yeah, some things got some nasty things.

Nasty things in Omaha happened.

Yeah.

St. John's recently, just with their success as well. So I kind of say those three.

So you wouldn't even worry about Villanova?

Villanova got me good with those free throws that one time, but no, I mean, I've lost to—

Wait, what happened there?

I missed two free throws for the win against Villanova.

That was bad Nova team too.

Oh.

I remember that game. Game, but like, what am I? I think I'm like 8-1, 7-1 against Nova, so like, I'm not— it's pretty necessarily worth it.

Yeah, and the one that you lost didn't matter really.

It was in my control, so it was, um, yeah, I missed those free throws.

Yeah, yeah, what a clinch.

The game— perfect record would have been nice.

It would have been nice.

Yeah.

Wait, where were you committed to UConn when Coach Hurley gave the speech like, you better get us now?

Yeah, that was Um, I was committed a couple years after this. Okay, 4 years after that.

That still is an all-time— the fact that he called a shot like that.

Oh, absolutely. It's insane. Absolutely. And like, we'd play it in like hype videos too. It's like before a game, like if we're playing Nova, like we'll do a hype video like getting ready for the Nova game the night before, and it's like that clip's there every single time. And so, so good to see.

That's badass. That's, that's— you can't beat that. That's a fair clip.

Yeah, it was there coming back around. Yeah. When could you tell like this team's coming together, this team's actually going to be a real problem.

I think— what, to ours?

Yeah, UConn.

I think it was my freshman year, we went 14-0 in the non-conference, and like, we played some really good teams too. Like, started off undefeated, and then we had a bad month, but then we really regrouped and really just found our way in March Madness, I think. But really, that first stretch of games, like, when we played like top teams too in the country, I think that's when like we knew that we had something special.

And then you guys were, you guys were such a problem in the tournament. It was like, it was almost boring to watch, but in terms of how great you were, was it, did it ever get boring, like winning those games by so much? So I was like, I'd like to see some good basketball occasionally.

Nah, it's never boring. You love, you love to kill the teams. I think everything really, things like the offense, like the schemes that we run, and just how we have so many different plays and actions against every defense imaginable, so I think that's what gave other teams a challenge. And then the Big East teams, they were so familiar with us that that obviously made it harder, harder for us to be in conference than non-conference.

Do you have a favorite blob that you've ever run?

Um, I always like the ones where like we do like back screens for, um, our centers to get dunks. Like we had one like Samson Johnson on our team, like we'd run like a back screen play for him and like it worked every single time because you just throw it up there and you dunk it. Um, or really just, um, different like ones where we get shooters open.

You said that you don't look at any of the mock drafts. I don't believe you.

I swear I don't.

I would look at every mock draft.

I swear I don't.

All right, so I just looked at 4 mock drafts. Do you want to know where they have you landing? I won't say number, I'll say team.

Oh, you can say teams.

So one of them is the Knicks.

Okay.

And then 3 out of 4 of them that I just looked at is the Spurs.

That'd be nice.

That'd be pretty fucking sick.

That'd be nice.

You could probably piece up one You should call him out right now.

If I could be with Steph again, that'd be a dream too.

That would be awesome.

I mean, that'd be pretty incredible just looking at these mock drafts, which ultimately they don't mean anything, but—

They don't mean nothing.

I mean, if you go to one, like your two choices are teams that are playing the finals right now, that's a pretty good spot.

Oh, as a winner too in college, I mean, it'd be a perfect dream.

Yeah, this mock draft says floor spacing, passing, and a championship DNA. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. That's all I gotta do at the next level.

Yeah. What goes into your championship DNA?

I think the preparation, just being so disciplined with what I do every single day and just really relying on the work that I put in, really just trying to work my ass off every single day on the court, in the weight room, in academics, really just trying to be— trying to maximize every single day. And then if I do have a bad game, just lean on my preparation and then And eventually all the days add up to where you'll see success and reach your end goal.

What is the, uh, what's the preparation like? How many hours a day we spend?

At UConn, it was, um, I'd get shots up in the morning, so that'd take a good 45 minutes to an hour. You'd, um, do a practice with coach, which, shoot, that could be 3 hours, 3-hour practice. Um, you do film. Home. So that's like an hour, an hour after a loss, good 2.5, 3 hours. And then you gotta do recovery too. So just like another hour rehab, recovery, academics, however long that takes. And then really just, you know, just chilling after that and relaxing. So it's a lot of work. It is a lot of work. It is.

And I, I read that, um, that your vertical leap got, what, a half a foot better? In the last year? Oh, hell yeah. That's a lot. 6 inches is a lot.

Trust me, it's huge. Could never imagine that. That's massive.

But that's, to do that after you, again, you've been like training and working specifically at basketball, I would assume, like a lot of drills that would involve getting stronger at jumping. And then you do that in one year. What was it that, like, you're the most athletic that you've ever been by far?

I think different exercises in the weight room, just working a lot more. More, um, just with more intention in the weight room. And then nutrition too, just big on nutrition, just trying to change my whole diet with that. So I think— and then recovery too. I mean, I work a lot, and then it's like I wouldn't really give my time— myself time to rest. I think learning throughout my career just the importance of recovery too.

You, you should, uh, just put the word out there that you're still growing. Technically it's probably true. Yeah, it technically is, right? I mean, if you, if you draft me, I'm probably going to keep growing. I'll be taller next year.

I could get a foot taller, then increase my vertical even more.

And yeah, yeah.

Who else knows?

Well, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate you coming by. We have— I have one last question. It's a Rohback question. Rohback.com, promo code TAK, 20% off your first purchase. Q-zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rohback.com, promo code TAK. Zach, you ready?

Oh yes, sir. What's going on, man? How are you today?

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm doing well, dude.

You're not hitting him with a I think I did.

I said, "Yes, sir, how are you today?" To me? Oh, that was a sir to the room.

Okay, okay.

I can circle that back. We can go individual.

All right.

I had a quick question for you, if that's cool.

Yeah.

If me or another traveler were en route to Belarus—

Okay.

Is there a top 3 dishes I'd have to try before I made it back stateside?

You'd have to ask my dad that, because I think all the dishes are bad. So, if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, like my grandparents, my parents, they would make like different dishes from like, you know, Ukraine, Belarus, Russia, whatever it is. I'd try them. I don't think I liked any of them. So like now it gets to the point where it's like we have family gatherings, they'll bring the foods that they like, and then me and my siblings will order like pizza or Chinese food to like really just balance it all out.

I respect the honesty there.

Good question, Zach.

You gotta follow Uh, yeah, quick follow-up, uh, with, with possibly, you know, NBA contracts in your near future, have you given any thought to like maybe something fun or like quirky you might maybe wouldn't have spent some earnings on, but like, hey, put yourself in this position, you work this hard, maybe like get something fun? You get any thought to that?

I always wanted a jet ski. Like, I want to get my own jet ski. There's like, from Massachusetts, so like I'll go to the Cape a lot, so Cape Cod, and really, um, just buy a jet ski out there and and just, you know, kick it on it for a couple hours and just really just go wherever I need to go. So I think a jet ski is up there for me.

That's good. In terms of things like waste money on, that's a pretty—

I think it's a great one.

It's a perfect thing to waste your money on.

Great one. Yeah.

Great answer. Yeah. Well, best of luck in the draft, man. We're rooting for you. And yeah, go crush it in the NBA.

I appreciate you guys for having me. So this was great. So—

Thanks, man.

Let's do it.

Thanks, dude.

Alex Caraban was brought to you by Microsoft. So before we get back into more chaos, I want to tell you about something that helps people focus on what's most important. It's Microsoft 365 Copilot. What if you could add an AI assistant to your work without ever leaving your workflow? It's built into Microsoft Word, Excel, and Outlook. Copilot works where you work, helping you do more in the apps that you already use. In Word, Copilot helps turn scattered notes into a first draft. In Excel, it generates insights from your data. And in Outlook, it cuts through the noise to get you up to speed faster. The apps you know go further with Copilot. You can learn more at m365copilot.com/work. That's m365copilot.com/work. And Alex Karaban was also brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. Spire Fest is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. You got to hire the right people. We know that you wouldn't hire Greg Berhalter to coach the U.S. men's national team. Hiring the wrong people can be disastrous. That's where Morgan Morgan comes in. If you're ever injured by the negligence of another, Morgan Morgan is America's largest injury law firm for a reason.

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Okay, Fyre Fest time. But before we do that, let's pick some Mount Rushmore teams, shall we? You guys ready? Yep. Yep. So here's what I was thinking. Hank, you think it's rigged? No. Okay. Uh, here's what I was thinking.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't let him get away with it. He just said no, and then you started talking. He goes, well, well, I haven't heard what you're thinking.

Oh, okay. You prefaced something before you said what you're doing.

I'll say right now, I don't think it is rigged, but there is a part of my idea that might hurt Hank. Does that make sense?

I don't know what your idea is, so I don't know if it makes sense.

All right, so there's 6 of us. There's 100 numbers in here.

You're gonna put a couple, a couple numbers in there for Hank vs. the World.

Hank vs. the World. So I think, so everyone, so if you go 6 times 16, that's 96 numbers. So we go, everyone has, you know, like PFTs 1 through 16, then Zach is 17 through, I'm gonna need some help with the math math here, 17 through whatever that is.

32.

Yeah. And then we keep going up, and then if it's 97, 98, or 99, it's Hank versus the world.

I don't think that math— does that— does that math make sense?

And by Hank versus the world, you mean that it's teams of—

It's, it's the booth versus me and you versus Hank.

One solo.

Are you okay with— I mean, the odds are in your favor that that's not gonna happen.

I think one— it should be one number for the three 3 of us versus the world.

Okay. Okay.

That's fair. Or should we do—

No, see, that's— No, no, no, no, no.

I agree. But I'm saying what we should do is maybe 1 through 15. So then they all have numbers too. So everyone has a versus the world number.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So what about this? So what if we did— I don't know if this is what you're thinking, but we draw the number and let's say it's Big Cat. That's 1 through 16. And the number 14 pops up. So that's a Big Cat. Cat, then Big Cat gets first pick in the draft and you get to pick somebody.

I was going to do it, it was going to be random, so it was going to be draw a number. So if it's like, if you're 1 through 15, it's number 10, and I'm 16 through 30. If the first number's 10, the second number's 20, you and I are team. Okay. You know what I'm saying?

Yes, I think that, I think that makes sense.

So all right, I'm writing it out right now. Hank has 46 through 60. We're not math guys, so I just want to say that.

Just everyone, everyone chill out on the math, and if we get this wrong So 15, that would get us to 90 though. So there would be 10 numbers. Yeah.

So everyone, everyone gets 2 or everyone gets 1. Yeah, everyone gets 1 and we'll throw, we'll throw, we'll throw a couple out.

Yeah. Okay. So we throw out.

Yeah. All right. So, so PFT has 91. I have 92.

I think all the leftovers should be maybe 2 teams. This Mount Rushmore season. It's literally everybody against Hank.

96.

We could do 3v3.

90s. I got it. I got it.

Okay. I got it. All right. I trust you. I trust you.

Is 100 in there?

Yes.

Okay. 100's in there. Okay. So it's going to be— so PFT's number 1 through 15. I'm 16 through 30. Memes 31 through 45. Hank 46 through 60. 60. Zach 61 through 75. Max 76 through 90. Everyone's got 15 numbers. If the number 91 comes up, PFT versus the world. 92— and actually it's 91 and 97, PFT, are your two numbers. 92, 98 are my two numbers. Memes 90, or Hank, uh, 93, 99. Max 94, 100. And then Zach and Memes will be 95 and also 11. Both of them get 11. So if the first 11 happens, it's memes. If the second 11 happens, it's Zach. I don't know how we decide the different 11s. So wait, what if, what if it picks like— we've, I've gotten myself confused.

Yeah. So yeah, because what if it picks one of my numbers and then—

Memes be the 11. Memes will be the 11.

Are we saying that whenever any of the—

But 11 is also—

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it saying that if any of the Us Versus the World pops up that then wipes out everything else.

Correct. It wipes out everything else.

Okay, so that's, that's the game breaker.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. Uh, is there zero? Is double zero in there?

No.

Oh, zero's in there. Perfect.

Wait, zero's also—

zero, zero, zero, both in there? Yeah, zero's in there. All right, so we're good. So we all have numbers. So, uh, yeah, so 11 wipes everything out.

Yes.

Yeah, Zach will just not have a second number. You're gonna get zero. 0 through 15, and 11 doesn't count for you.

Okay, okay. So I have 94 and 100.

Yes.

My verse the world. Okay.

90— you— sorry, you have 96 and 99. Hank has 94 and 100.

I have 96, 99. Okay.

All right, I think we got it. I think we got it.

Okay.

All right, I got it. I wrote it all down. Uh, Zach, you don't have a second number for Zach versus the world, so let's say in fairness' sake if the same number comes up twice, then it's Zach versus the world.

Okay, okay.

At any point, if the same number comes up twice— That, that, yeah, that works. Yeah. Okay.

Yes, sir.

All right, so we're ready to go. The work versus the world will be something.

Now, are we also guessing numbers?

No. Okay. All right, so just, just a recap. PFT has numbers 0 through 15 for his regular, like, team, and 90— except for 11. Except for 11. 91 and 97.

Couldn't be more clear.

91 and 97 is his versus the World. I have 16 through 30, 92 and 98 are my Versus the World. Memes has 31 through 45, 93 and 11 are his Versus the World. Hank has 46 and 60, 94 and 100 are his Versus the World. Zach has 61 through 75, 94 and any doubles are his Versus the World. Max, you have 76 through 90, 96 and 99 are your Versus the World.

Yeah. Okay, I'm just gonna rely on you because I—

I got it, I got it. I got it. So whatever number comes up first will be the first person who is, uh, they will be up, and then whoever's second, obviously it's them on team. Um, this also—

I just realized we're going to get a Versa World. Somebody's going to be—

I also just realized we're going to have to just keep hitting the lottery ball machine because once someone's up, then it's going to keep coming up to their numbers. Whatever. Listen, we're not—

the odds, the odds have now come down to like like we're definitely gonna get a Versus the World.

I'm now remembering why we decided not to do it this way last year. Yeah, yeah, but, but it could be— numbers are—

there's way too— I think it's more of a chance we do Versus the World. It's not true. Yes, because we're gonna— no, it's 1 out of 57.

So that is Hank. Hank, you are the first person up. Whoever comes up next, that will be your teammate.

What if it's a Versus the World?

Then that's the Game breaker.

Yeah. No, be—

yeah, yeah, we got, we got it, Max.

I'm like pretty confident it makes more sense, like—

No, this is gonna work, I think.

I don't— I think the odds of it being versus World are very high.

Because it wipes out everything else.

Yeah.

And then we just stop— what, at least we'll stop the drawing if that happens.

Hank is teamed up with Zach.

Let's go, let's go, Hank. Let's lock in.

Hank and Zach.

Our team Chemistry has been great the last 2 days.

Couldn't have started off hotter.

Yeah. I mean, none of this matters. It's going to be a Versa world.

You don't say that. You don't.

That's not true. There's 90 options and it's not Versa.

No, because so many games. Because now— wait a minute, wait a minute. Stop.

Oh no, no, no, don't say that. One PFT, you're up. Okay. Because we're about to stop.

Just stop. Just stop.

Stop. It's like time zones for you.

You just can't figure it out. No, I'm right. But just now there's so many more options.

You stop. You stop. You stop. You stop. Literally, if this next number is one of our numbers, we're done. Then say, yeah, we have the T. Oh, you stop. Uh-oh. Oh, shit.

Oh no. PFT versus the world. Bring it on. Bring it on.

I love it. I love it. So, so, so I think it should it be Zach and Hank should stay as a team.

Yep.

And then me, Max, and Memes in first PFT. Yeah, PFT versus world.

Can't wait. Can't wait.

I love it.

Oh man.

I love it.

PFT versus the world is so good.

Zach Supreme.

I'm used to it. PFT versus the world is great.

I'm used to it. Bring it. Can't wait. Can't wait to see Zach and Hank just eat each other alive. I know a team could have two divas on it at the same time. Time. You guys are going to destroy each other. Bad chemistry. Memes is just going to wreck your team because he thinks that you guys are both losers.

I'm all I got. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, that is a problem.

PFT versus the world is so good.

Okay, the only question I have is, because it, it kind of sucks if it's a— the team of 3 kind of sucks because it's like, well, I guess it doesn't matter. No, I was gonna say, if you want to, if you want to one other person versus the world too with like one— four teams this year could be interesting. So we pair up the me, Max, and Memes, figure out who the two of us are paired, and then the third is just also versus the world.

One other person against the world?

Yeah, maybe the next, the next number of your three numbers that comes up. Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The next number of—

so we're making this— so teams, but now it's not versus the world.

Four teams is tough.

All right, 14. Yeah, it's tough. All right. I was just thinking. Yeah, you're right. Let's see what it was. It was 44. Would have been memes.

He would have hated that.

Would have been memes. Okay. All right.

Bring it. I can't wait. Can't wait. If there's one thing I'm really good at, it's Mount Rushmore season.

You're really good at Mount Rushmore season.

Finally, I don't have Hank to weigh me down as a team.

Teammate. And then we'll, uh, on Monday when we do our first Mount Rushmore, we will also, uh, declare our punishment. Yep. Okay, sounds good. Sounds great. It happened. All right, Hank, you ready?

Can you imagine if there was a duel? Like if there's a 1 versus 3 duel at the end of the summer? That's a dream.

That's the dream. Me, Max, and Memes are not gonna lose. It will be— it could be a duel versus you.

Yeah, I might just—

Zach. Yeah, where are you? I think it's Zach.

I would argue the 3 of us are the— are the 3 best players.

Hank and Zach for sure could be that. That's a— I mean, Hank's terrible.

That feels like an early sell from you guys.

Yeah, you guys are the 3, like, dream team. Is Vince Young over there?

Well, we're just basing off analytical. Yeah, I'm actually not— I'm probably third. I think Max and Memes are the best.

Let's not forget Queen Latifah.

Queen Latifah was a tough pick. Max is the best though.

Jerome Bettis.

As long as Max—

Max has lost Mount Rushmore season before.

Yeah, Jerome Bettis, Queen Latifah, the list goes on, dude.

As long as Max can stay away from meatballs, he's pretty—

No, meatballs was— that was my hot streak.

Yeah, that's true.

You've had some terrible picks in your day too.

Titty fucking. Yeah, all right, I take it back. I take it back. This is gonna be a fun Mount Rushmore.

That was an awesome pick.

I take it back. I take it back.

What colors? Cheese? It's also correct pick.

I take it back.

OK, Fire Fest. I'm going to pick— that was just a fight.

Hank, Fire Fest.

I had a good week.

This week is one of those weeks that every day kind of felt like Thursday, which is good. Felt like, you know, right before the weekend. I almost killed someone on the golf course today.

What day is Friday?

Exactly. Yeah. Well, every day was Tuesday.

That's interesting because Hank used to say that Friday night was not a weekend. Yeah. But you just said, like, it feels like it's about to be the weekend. Every day feels like Thursday.

Every day feels like Thursday.

This is lowkey the longest week ever.

Different story for different folks. Yeah, that's why it's funny. Yeah. So yeah, no real firefests. I did almost kill someone on the golf course today. That was almost— it wasn't a firefest though. They survived.

He hit it 5 feet in front of a guy walking on the path along Lakeshore and the guy put up his arms. We— Hank yelled for the guy, put up his arms after the ball had gone by. Oh no.

Yeah, he wasn't even playing golf, which was, which was the—

He was just walking.

Yeah, there's a path.

Yeah, he was just an innocent bystander that like happened to be walking by a golf course.

You almost like—

it was bad.

He would be dead. He would be dead.

Head on a swivel. So you got no Fyre Fest?

Yeah, my car is leaking. Our Pugs got canceled.

The water— your cool-ass car.

My cool-ass car. It's— it might be time for an upgrade.

Damn, dude, why don't you fix your car?

Every time it rains, every time it rains, it just leaks water.

What do you mean it leaks water? Close the windows, idiot.

No, that's not— it's— the windows are closed.

It's from like the top.

The sunroof.

The sunroof.

Close the sunroof.

You got a gasket issue.

And also his trunk is broken.

Which I think all relates back to the water.

You think the water got into the trunk?

I think it messes with the mechanics of the car.

Car, but everything else works except for the trunk. That's classic water, always going after the trunk first.

Yeah, I don't know. You try to take that to a mechanic, see what's going on.

I know, I brought it to the shop. I brought my car to the shop so many times where I'm just— I'm sick of— I'm sick of it. I need to upgrade.

That's tough, man. Some people can maintain cars, some people can't. Yeah.

I guess I'm— I guess I Okay.

It's a good Fire Fest.

Thanks.

All right, PFT.

My Fire Fest of the week is about a new invention that just came out. I don't know if you guys saw this. We talked about like the AI robots. So far we've seen like the robotic dogs that serve to like guard your house. We've seen the AI bartenders, but there's a new invention that got debuted this week that I'm concerned about. The AI-powered autonomous robot toilet. Toilets. They just got debuted at some trade show over in China, in Shanghai.

Okay.

And apparently you like snap your fingers and you're in bed and this toilet just wheels itself into your room, pulls up next to the bed. It's like, come on, sit on me, big daddy. And then you just sit on it, do your business, and then it goes away and like takes care of whatever you just put into it, which sounds— it sounds super convenient. Convenient, especially if you're at a place like, I don't know, parade where you can't have a toilet anywhere. You just bring your like little R2-D2 shitter with you. But then I started to think about it. If they ever get self-aware.

Yeah.

These are the robots that are going to kill us first.

Yes.

Is the ones that we've been shitting in their mouths for the last 20 years and being like snapping our fingers, come over here so I can piss down your throat, robot. These are the ones that I would, I would be more fearful of than like the Skynet or those robot dogs.

It's getting abused, especially like, yeah, this room's toilets. Yeah, Max's toilet being able to talk.

Max is going to die first in the robot— in the robot uprising.

God, crazy. Too many meatballs. Hank's the most recent— Hank's the fart guy now.

He is a fart guy. Well, Hank's also got the most tummy issues on our podcast by far.

I've always had tummy issues.

Yeah, I know. But it's literally like we'll have just a regular meal and you're like, never again. Tummy.

That's a place down the street I've had. I have had issues with that since we moved here. For a year and I've sworn it off. And then we had it at the office. I was like, oh, I'll have a chicken breast.

Still nothing.

Tummy.

It just— With the tummy.

PFT's got stomach issues.

I'm a pooper.

I'm very regular.

It's a big difference.

Yeah.

He's a pooper. I got healthy, healthy poop that comes at the same time.

For a long time. Right before we start podcasting.

That's when it comes out. I mean, some dudes like puke before every— Josh Allen throws up before every game. Before every football game. Me? I poop before every podcast.

Wait, so your Fyre Fest is that there's robot toilets and not that you missed your producer on Macro Dosing's birthday?

I'm— listen, we don't have to get into that. I did. So here's the thing. On Thursday's episode, I wish her a happy birthday. We taped on Wednesday. I wish her a happy birthday. And she goes, thank you. Wait, what? Oh, on— Yeah, we taped on Wednesday for Thursday's episode. Comes out Tuesday, Thursday.

Happy birthday, Hank.

And then when I said that to her, she goes, thank you. My birthday was yesterday on Tuesday. So I was even— I was even a day late after forgetting on Monday's show. So happy birthday to Mackenzie. Sorry about that. But no, that's not my fire fest. My fire fest is that I truly believe that these are the robot toilets that will one day stand up and kill us.

Why do you need AI toilets?

That's what I'm saying. Like, it seems like we're running up the score on the robots at this point. They're gonna be like, dude, you didn't need— just go to the bathroom. You already had a toilet. Seems like you just took a sick pleasure in defecating on the robots.

Me?

Yeah.

And all my brethren. So I feel like that's— I don't know, we're putting a lot of bulletin board material up for the robots at this point if we're taking dumps on them.

Agreed. Did I tell you guys that I've recently become a bidet guy?

Bidets are nice.

I feel like you should have always been a bidet guy. I should have. It seems right up your alley.

I know. I was always a little nervous because like, it's a little sus. I'd rather just, you know, cram my fingers up my ass than have—

I don't—

Water going up there.

I don't really understand how a bidet— like, I've seen bidets, I've sat on bidets. I don't trust myself to operate a bidet correctly.

Well, mine's a toilet bidet. So it's not like the— you know how there's the bidets that you like go and sit on after?

No.

In Europe? No, I've sat on the toilet bidets. Yeah, the Europe ones don't make sense at all.

Yeah, you just kind of have to hover. They're not like comfortable to sit on.

So you don't sit on those?

I don't think— I think you got to hover on them.

Maybe, maybe you can't sit on them. Like that, that thing, I look at that thing, I'm like, that's a urinal.

Yeah, I agree. Or, or like a drinking— like, yeah, yeah, it does. It looks like I just take a big lap out of it like a— just a big dog.

I don't trust the ones that don't have like the built-in dryer.

They have built-in dryers?

Mine has— mine has— I have heated seats, which is is incredible. My, my bathroom, my toilet seat is just always warm. And then the toilet opens up when I stand in front of it so I don't have to open the toilet seat.

That's so sick and rich. Yeah, it's like the richest thing that you got.

It's, it scared the fuck out of my 3-year-old. He started crying because he walked by the toilet and it opened up and he was just like, what the fuck?

You walk into your bathroom, your toilet's like, come on, give it to me.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Crazy. Okay, my Fyre Fest. I had a pretty good week too. Trying to think. Oh, I mean, listen, this is, this is to any parents out there. I'm finally— my son's 7th birthday, my oldest's 7th birthday is today, Friday. And so I have all my kids are within like 6 weeks of each other. And parents probably know this, the birthday stretches is the worst because it's just there's so much talk about birthdays in my house and it's just been presents and birthdays and like the week comes and like countdowns and all that stuff. So I finally cleared that. Gonna go see Toy Story 5. He's gonna have a party, watch Toy Story 5. I'm excited for that. But yeah, birthday stretch. And I don't do like— it's really my wife has to do— she plans the birthday parties. But it's stressful. You don't realize it, but birthdays suck.

Laser tag?

No, I just said we're going to Toy Story.

Why do you know about the —Oh, the other two.

One was Slime Factory, which was probably the grossest place I've ever been in my life. It's literally just buckets of slime that the kids go and touch. And then 3-year-old— we don't do— we don't do birthdays till— birthday parties until 4 in my house. So we had a cake and a family birthday party, but we didn't— 3-year-old's not going to remember. He doesn't have friends. He's got one friend. They get— they have like a fight club. It's fucking hilarious. Yeah.

How do you— how do you manage?

Fun for school, though.

Though. How do you manage?

Like, being, being, being when they're older. Yeah. Having, having June birthdays is awesome. Yeah.

How do you manage when it's, it's not their— it's their brother or sister's birthday?

It's a problem. That's also a problem.

But also, my birthday is soon too, right? But can't we say it's my birthday also?

And then they get upset that, like, someone else has presents, and it's like, but you just had your birthday. Yeah, my 3-year-old, yeah, he's in a— he, he came home with, like, scratches all over his face, and I was like, what, what happened? Like, how'd you get scratched? And he was like, yeah, my, my friend Teddy scratched me. I was like, what happened? Like, what did— why did he scratch you? He's like, oh, I was hitting him. It's like, oh, okay, well, I guess that's, that's mutual. Yeah, mutual agreed combat. We— I guess we—

what do we learn today? Nothing.

Yeah, the human body craves contact. Uh, okay, Zach, finish this off.

Uh, my purpose this week is just that, uh, it was a tough week for guys who just— who pick one side of the, uh, Messi-Ronaldo argument. Movement. Yeah, this week was really, really hard to defend as a Ronaldo defender. You're an idiot. I'm not really sure how to come back from this.

I disagree with the premise of your fire fight. You said it's a tough week for guys that pick one side or another of the Messi-Ronaldo thing. I don't think that's true. No, I think it's tough for guys to pick one side, the wrong side.

We've had a great week over here. It's been incredible.

That's a fair point on the 50-50 side picking.

Yes. Why? Like, I know we talked about Ronaldo, Messi. See at the start of the show and with Roger Bennett, but like, what's your deal? You like penalty kicks?

I think the free kick is like the most electric way to score.

Messi does that too.

I know, but not like Ronaldo.

Yeah, he does.

Ronaldo has to do the like little stutter step when he gets up to the ball. It's unbecoming. Look, I'm really sad.

I'm open enough to come to you guys and say this is the worst part of my week. In saying so, I understand where the the pitfalls are in the argument, picking one side as opposed to picking another side.

Also, it's like one of the guys is a good dude and the other is like a world-class asshole.

Here's a crazy stat I just saw. Cristiano Ronaldo has 65 career free kick goals.

Hmm.

That is a lot.

Strong, but it's a strong 65.

Yeah. Oh, Messi has 71. This isn't black and white. So why would you— why would you say Ronaldo's the free kick goal guy?

Because there's nuances. There's nuance in this.

Oh, okay.

It's not black and white.

Okay, but, but you said Ronaldo's— there's something about the free kick. Yeah, there is. There's something about the free kick, and Messi's done it more times.

I think maybe the one argument you can make against Messi is that he has never scored a goal in a knockout game in the World Cup, and that's a fair— I, I would say that's a fair argument that you should make against Messi. Wait, no, I'm sorry, that Ronaldo has actually— oh no, I got my names mixed up. Messi's scored a shitload of goals.

He's won a World Cup.

He won it like almost single-handedly.

Yeah, that's right. It's also true. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Okay.

Which one would you rather hang out with, Zach?

I mean, Messi seems to be a little more likable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's really nothing that you have on your side other than abs. Speed.

Wait, I show speed. No, I'm talking about acceleration on the pitch. I was talking about actual speed.

Who does I Show Speed like better?

Is it Ronaldo? Are you, are you attracted to Ronaldo?

No, this is a deep—

Because that actually would be—

This is I Show Speed.

I Show Speed is famously and passionately Team Ronaldo.

But that's the whole— that's not the whole I Show— that's his whole thing is Ronaldo.

So you're a sheep.

So that the— so the preface of my argument does come back to something a little bit deeper if we're going to get into it. My entire, my entire childhood growing up, I got one brother. We're getting on FIFA 2011 and on, he's playing with Messi, I'm playing with Ronaldo. So I can't concede this argument ever in my life.

So your brother is—

So there's a lot— That's actually—

I've been trying to tell you that for a while.

Yeah.

So I can't concede this argument, but I see the great points you guys are making, but there's one guy who is better.

I would think that you would play on the same team as your brother and you'd only play goalie based on your tattoo.

No, we play— we, we used to fight a lot growing up. We play on different teams. Maybe we play the same team now.

Your tattoo is literally my brother's keeper.

Mhm. I'd hop in that for him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would.

All right, that actually makes more sense.

Yeah, for sure.

So it's not that you're physically attracted, sexually attracted to Ronaldo?

No, no, no real sexual tension when it comes to Ronaldo.

But if you had to pick one or the other to hang out with— No, sexually.

Just being boys sexually. I mean, I think, I think Messi might wine and dine me a little bit better. Oh, so you're like Messi for everything except for I show speed in your Just, no, Ronaldo, if we're picking a side in this argument, but I feel like if somebody's taking you out to a date, I feel like Messi might, uh—

Yeah. He'd treat you better.

He might have better resi, yeah.

Yeah, like reservation?

Yeah, he'd take me to dinner, we'd drink some wine maybe first. Ronaldo might, I think Ronaldo's a sneaky link guy. I think he's just shooting a text and expecting you to show up.

I think Ronaldo's hookup resume leaves a little bit to be desired too.

Mm-hmm.

Fair points for both camps.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Can I say 5 cents real quick?

There's never been a more more clear winner of a sports debate than— it's not even LeBron versus Jordan.

No.

Like, it's not in the same stratosphere.

No.

I saw somebody tweet that, like, I'm closer to Ronaldo than Ronaldo is to Messi at this point. Yeah. And it's like, Messi just running up the score on him. It's honestly, I'm reaching the point where I feel bad. Like, he's like an old dog that you see out on the field. It's like, dude, just call it a day.

Yeah.

I just wanted to get ahead on why I can't concede, but I— so you got some great points there.

Okay.

That's fair. That's fair. Firefest.

You guys aren't gonna like this one, and I— because it's been, it's been a long time, it's been a long time coming.

Oh God.

You got married.

The wedding planning is, is hit— is hitting the stride now, and it's, it's a racket.

Wait, how, how is it hitting the stride? You're getting married in a week and a half, shouldn't it be planned?

Well, you gotta, you gotta think this sort of guy that I am is that I, I put a lot of things off until right now, and now, and now I got to do a lot of things. So I'm going home every single day this week, and it's just— and it's just wedding stuff. I was putting together the seating chart. The seating chart is a puzzle that can't be— it's like putting together a puzzle of pieces that don't fit.

Yeah.

So it's like you don't have the right pieces, but you have to put this puzzle together. One of the guy— one of my friends just wasn't on the list. I thought I finished it, and then by the end of the— end of it, I was going through all the names names. He wasn't on the list. That stressed me the fuck out because then you got to start from scratch and just restart the entire, the entire fucking thing. And then it makes me worry, is there anybody else that I missed? Am I going to show up? Am I going to show up to this wedding? I would be like, I don't have a place for you. I got to figure out where you're going to sit. Wedding, it sucks.

It is.

It was way better when I just did like my family and that was it. And I didn't have to worry about anything. Now there's people coming. It's a lot. Wedding planning is super stressful. I've like stayed up at night this week.

Just waiting.

Stressing about wedding planning.

In the next couple weeks, you're probably gonna get a couple people to hit you up. They're like, hey man, sorry I forgot to RSVP. Can you put me in?

No, yeah, I've already had a couple of that, but that's a lot.

Yeah, and then you're like, yeah.

Max.

Yeah, I sure can.

Max.

Max, you have a binder? Is there a wedding binder at home?

No, no, it's just a lot of Excel sheets that I don't really know how to work Excel.

Max, what have I told you? And listen, I love your fiancée. She's great.

But now it's over.

Let's just fucking get the fuck out of here, dude. Let's get in the car. Let's get in Hank's shitty car with his broken trunk and his leak and let's just hit the road. We could do it, dude. Fuck 'em all.

Just bros for life.

We'd have to come back for the show on Sunday.

Yeah, that'd be fine.

We could just go. No, it could be like, we could just hit the road as bros forever. Yeah, just the buddies that never came back.

Come on, Max.

I had a friend get married recently who just said fuck it to the seating chart and just said, see yourself.

I was so close to doing that.

It was insane. I was so close to doing that.

But it was funny, kind of.

The seating chart— everyone, everyone's sat.

Yeah, it's, it's the worst. It's the worst part. It's the worst part of planning, is it? Because now I got in a spot that I'm like mostly good about, but I'm also a people pleaser, and now all I'm thinking about is the people that are— that I know aren't in their most desirable seat, and I'm just thinking about how they're gonna be motherfucking me while they're sitting at— while they're sitting at this table that I just spent a billion dollars on.

Mm-hmm, yep. It's never gonna be good enough for everybody.

No, it's not. Somebody's gonna be motherfucking me.

Yep.

And my wife just keeps saying, like whatever, you'll never hear about it. But it's like, I need to know. I need to know who's saying it.

If you don't hear from anybody, then you think it could be everybody. Like, I was a suspect.

I keep saying like, I'm going to get ahead of it and like tell the people that they're not in the best spot.

Who cares? They're going to be drunk.

I know, I know. But it's—

No one gives a fuck. They're going to be drunk. This is— it's also a destination wedding. You're fine. Everyone's going to be having the time of their life.

Max is right. Everyone's going to hate you. No, it's— they're going to sit down on the— at the Paradise Island and they're going to be like, Max is such a fucking dick for making me sit here.

All right. Numbers. 50. 95. 6. No, 0. 90. 27. 40. 25. 45. 17. Regular 0. My bad. Regular 0. Shane, you okay now that you're not the tiramisu guy anymore? More?

Yeah, I'm fine. Is it right, Zach? Regular zero for the number of goals Ronaldo has scored besides penalty kicks in the last two World Cups.

10 for Messi and every other good player ever.

No, that was tough. That was tough.

That was tough.

There's a lot of quality 10s out there. Wait, what? Christian, he, he's what, 7? Oh dang, he's actually not a 10.

So 10 is the number that you get in soccer when you're really good.

Yeah. Maradona.

If you guys really believed in me, that's, that's Messi's number right there. If only one of you guys would have taken it.

Yeah. Okay. Good show.

Love you guys. Also, sorry about missing your birthday, McKenzie. That one's on me. Big weekend of birthdays coming up. So happy birthday. Enjoy your weekend. To the following people. Leonard Williams, Derek Stingley, Terrell Pryor, Matt Flynn, Darren Sproles, Fab Mello, Darko Milicic, Rampage Jackson, Dirk Nowitzki, Lou Gehrig, Quinton Jammer, Jake DeGrom, Macklemore, and Anthony Kim from the Four Aces.

Nice.

Hell yeah.

Love you guys.