Transcript of Knicks With The Greatest Comeback Ever, Spencer Hawes Talking Game 5, Illini Head Coach Bret Bielema In Studio, Preseason Mt Rushmore With Hank's Dad + Fyre Fest of The week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Stella Blue Coffee is more than just great coffee, it's coffee with a purpose. Introducing We Brew to Rescue, a nationwide campaign using proceeds from our new ready-to-drink cans to help fund 1,000 pet adoptions this year. Every can you crack open helps a real pet find a real home. Simple as that. Made with 100% Colombian coffee, each 11-ounce can delivers smooth, drinkable energy with a boost of protein. Available in Espresso Cafe Mocha and Espresso Sweet Cream. Built for mornings, long days, and everything in between. Drink Cell Blue, fuel your day, and help save a pet's life. You can follow our progress in real time throughout the campaign by watching the adoption tracker on our site. Grab yours now at stellabluecoffee.com, Amazon, and select retailers nationwide. On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, we've got a twofer for the people. We've got our good friend, former NBA— I'm gonna say superstar— Spencer Hawes, who has, uh, been to a bunch of NBA Finals games including Game 4 at MSG. He is childhood friends with Mitch Johnson.

He is in studio to talk about the NBA Finals, where he sees it's going, what happened to the Spurs. We also have Illinois head coach Brett Beilema, good friend of the show, in studio as well talking some football. Great interview with him. Also an incredible pig farming story from Coach Beilema. We're going to talk NBA Finals, maybe the greatest comeback— actually, no, the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history. One of the best games any of us have ever watched. We have Stanley Cup Final Game 5, the pivotal Game 5 that we're going to talk about. We have Fyre Fest and a special Mount Rushmore warm-up with Hank's dad. What a show, packed show, and is all brought to you by our friends at Reese's. They say everything happens for a reason, but I suspect everything happens for a Reese's take. How the whole world is vying for the Cup right now. Is it because called the Cup? Just like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Coincidence? I think not. So be a champ and score Reese's today because everything happens for Reese's. Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Everything happens for Reese's. Get yours at Hershealand.com/Reese's. Reese's are the absolute best.

The marshmallow cup, the Oreo cup, uh, the animal crackers. We have them in the Reese's Lounge. Oh my God, they perfected all All candy, all snacks. That's what Reese's does. Official candy partner, Barstool Sports. Everything happens for Reese's. Get yours at hershealand.com/reese's. Okay, let's go. Yeah, part of my take. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, June 12th, and the New York Knicks are one single game away from being NBA champions after the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history. Boys, what a game. What a night. Simply incredible.

The $5,000 get-in price was actually a bargain if you went to that game and you're a Knicks fan, because what you got was probably the best night of your life. Yeah, actually, no, that was definitely the best night of your life. That's— sports will not get any better than that, than if you paid 5 grand to go to Madison Square Garden last night. The return on that investment, it was, it was incredible. As bad as that first half was, and I don't think that many people left MSG, I think there's probably like a couple hundred people that might have left early. I don't know, but by and large, I think for the most part the crowd stayed there. Um, what a moment that was. And it— you felt it building up in the second half, like just slowly just chipping away at that lead, making it bites, taking one bite at a time away from the Spurs. And, uh, it ended with— you can— we can have the debate if the Spurs choked it or if the Knicks won it.

I don't know why it can't be both.

It was It was an incredible thing to watch. Yeah, even on television. It was one of those—

I didn't—

I don't find myself particularly rooting for the Knicks. I don't find myself particularly rooting for the Spurs. I want Memes and Zach to be happy. But just watching that last night was like, this, this fucks. Well, this is why we watch sports.

You know what it was too, is 76-49 in the first half. The Spurs shoot the absolute lights out. The game starts, we get the two cat fouls right away. Everyone's complaining about the fouls. The Knicks, I think, uh, as bad as maybe the refs were to start the game because they missed the goaltend, the cap fouls, I also think the Knicks had zero composure. Like, they were unraveling in the first half. They were giving up wide-open threes. You had Mitch Robinson get a flagrant on Wemby. Like, Wemby doing the 'I'm in your head.' It felt as bad as bad could get for the Knicks, and it also felt like we were just wasting an entire NBA Finals game. So to go from that to what we watched in the second half. And the Knicks to basically come out at halftime and be like, we didn't hear no bell, we're not giving up, to get off the mat like that and chip away slowly, make it 15 going into the fourth, you know, get it under 10. It was— and, and OG Anunoby just with the greatest tip-in, like, it just an insane— he has the block on De'Aaron Fox, he has the tip-in It was, it was nuts.

I actually like sat on my couch kind of speechless after the game and like, what do I do now?

That's Tom Green basketball, by the way. That's what they teach. That's what Tom does. He gets it. That might have been the best like 30 seconds of defense and offensive combined in the history of the NBA when you consider the stakes.

Yeah.

That we had that we were dealing with last night. And yeah, it was, it was a great, awesome, incredible first half shooting by the Spurs. You knew that they weren't going to keep that pace up, but it was still incredible. It did feel like the game might be over. Um, but when they got it, when they started chipping away in the third quarter, you could feel the Spurs start to panic a little bit. You could feel the Knicks and the Knicks fans get more confident, like every trip down the court. There's a lot of room to, to, to pass around blame. I will say that when you have that lead in the second half, there's really no excuse for losing that game. There's some really, really bad shot decision-making, some really bad, like a failure to adapt. As the Spurs as a whole to not be able to hold on to that lead. Just like, stop taking shots 8, 10 seconds into the shot clock.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

If you do that, you shorten the game enough where it doesn't matter that you, uh, you went ice cold from 3 in the second half. You have a big enough lead that you can protect it. Start going to the rim, start getting fouls, get to the line. You don't have to hit a 3 every time down the court.

Mm-hmm.

I know that the 3 is like, if you have an open 3, it's technically a good shot. But I mean, a smart coach would say you have a 29-point lead, it's okay if you get occasional layups, if you go 1 for 2 from the line, attack the basket, attack the basket. You don't have to extend this lead anymore.

Well, that was the biggest thing to me is that— and De'Aaron Fox is getting a lot of the blame and he deserves a lot of it because De'Aaron Fox with, uh, a layup that did not need to be attempted— I understand his momentum's going that way— a layup that did not be need to be attempted with 10 seconds left, and he probably got fouled. Oh, Hank, this is actually— we'll get to Hank in a second because I don't know if you noticed something that happened last night, but Hank just didn't have his phone or something because we were texting congrats to Zach. Yeah, security guard Mike memes, they were nothing.

Nothing.

You know what happened? Nothing. So this, Hank, this actually looks worse for you. I, uh, my phone died in the first quarter.. And I got to watch— I was out at a restaurant. I got to watch the game with no phone. It was actually really, really nice.

Yeah.

But then after it was over, you know, the first thing I did, I ran back to my house. I didn't walk. I ran back to my house. I plugged it in so I could text congratulations to the boys, to my good friends Memes and Zach, because they're on a hell of a run right now and they need to know that we support them.

Yeah. But we'll get to Hank in a second. So De'Aaron Fox, the You can't have that. You can't take that layup. You just dribble. Yeah, maybe 2 seconds go off, but you get to the free throw line. You, you have a chance to, to extend it to 3. And then equally as bad, he leaves OG Anunoby on the final possession to double Jalen Brunson, who has Wemby on him 40 feet from the basket. OG Anunoby, which it was a 1 in, I don't know, 10,000 tip, but what made it like possible was that there was not a single body on OG, and he gets a free run right to the hoop because De'Aaron Fox gets caught ball watching and going and doubling Brunson. Just so really— and De'Aaron Fox is their like vet, so to speak, you know what I mean? He's like who plays meaningful minutes. So terrible time for De'Aaron Fox. Wemby was also bad in the second half. Like, you— there's no— you can't You can't cheat. He missed those two free throws where he did look like he didn't want to be there. He— Wemby sometimes, and maybe it's energy, I don't know what it is, but he's a big dog that thinks he's a small dog, and he starts floating away from the rim.

And you could see it, like, taking jump shots, floating away from the rim, missing shots. That's where it all kind of fell apart. And, and they just choke, choke, choke. And the Knicks are like— have a killer instinct, and they have Jalen Brunson and Karl-Anthony Towns, big three, and Jose Alvarado, just incredible minutes. They did it all. The Knicks just can't be killed. They, they've done this time and time again in these playoffs. So I don't think like there's no lead that's too big, right? It's not like a fluke. It's— this is what this Knicks team is. They are a team that, that, that will step up in big moments and not give in. And I— when you said the choke, or, or is Nick— like, I think it's both. I think the, the Spurs are the most obvious the moment is too big and they're a young team that I've ever seen. But at the same time, the Knicks are the most obvious killer instinct. We can play bad for 3 quarters, but it doesn't matter. If you give us a shot in the 4th, we will step up. We will step on your throat.

We'll tighten up on defense. Jalen Brunson will score buckets like everyone. OJ— OG and Hart will, will rebound the fuck out of the ball. They'll do it all. They do all the little things. So It's a perfect comp. Like, it's the both of these things coming together. I think both of them happened last night.

I think it was the Spurs are the stupidest team.

They are the stupidest.

They're young. They're the stupidest good team that I've ever seen. And they're consistently stupid in big moments. And then the Knicks, no other team I don't think would take advantage like the Knicks take advantage. Yeah. So like, even if the Spurs are playing against another team, they get a 29-point lead, they're going to win that game usually.

Yeah.

But the Knicks are the one team that you cannot do that against. And, and it felt like, I don't know, just based on— I don't think that Spurs are dead, by the way. I don't think that they are because they're very, very talented and, and they're good enough to the point— you think they're dead?

All right, here's, here's— because I think I agree with what you're a part— I agree with the first part you're saying, that like the, the, the Spurs are very talented. The problem is you're basically asking this Spurs team to finish the job on 3 games in a row and they can't like twice this series they have completely blown a big moment.

Yeah.

Now you need them to do that 3 games in a row. So it's like, not that I don't— yes, of course they could, but now are you trusting them to close games 3 times in a row? I just don't know if they have it in them.

I'm asking them to grow up in, uh, in the span of 2 days, which is hard to do.

But by the way, I have a stat.

I don't know that it's like one spot that I'm asking them to improve on at the end of every game. It's like you get the lead and then you, you play with the lead intelligently. Yeah, I think that's something that you can change. And if they learn to do that, then they, they're not dead. I mean, it's definitely an uphill climb. You're down 3-1 and the Knicks are really fucking good. I don't think they're dead yet.

The Knicks, uh, so teams down 20-plus points in the postseason the last 2 years in the NBA, the entire NBA is 4-71. The Knicks this postseason are 5-3, or I guess maybe 5-3 in the last 2. Yeah, they're 5-3, but that says they've won 5 games in the last 2 postseasons where they've been down 20 points or more.

Mm-hmm.

5 games. The rest of the NBA has won 4. Yeah, that's this Knicks team. That's their DNA. They just never quit. And it's insane to watch. Like, they are— they just— I think it's partially like having a guy like Jalen Brunson who can, who will just keep fighting. And again, the small things they do, it's just Jose Alvarado was, he played so many minutes.

It does feel like, it feels like the Knicks have an all-star team of role players.

Yeah.

Like they might have 4 of the best, they might have the 4 best role players in the NBA right now all on their team.

Yeah.

Who? I would say Hart in a way. By the way, Josh Hart, OG Anunoby. One of the best role players in the NBA.

Not really role player.

He's— no, he's just— he's— he's a star.

You think star?

Yeah, he's star. He's— he's star. Not superstar. He's star. He's star.

He's— but I guess what I'm saying is like, he— he's a star, but he plays like a role player. Like, he's a great— they've got the grittiest dudes on their team.

I know what you're saying, but I would say he's just— he's the fucking—

yeah, him, KAT, and Jalen Brunson are stars. And Jalen's— and then yeah, Jalen's a superstar.

Yeah, borderline superstar, maybe superstar.

No, OG's— yeah, OG's a certified star. He's so good and he just— his motor is just— he just never stops. Every— he's always making the right basketball play. And, uh, Josh Hart, by the way, he's got a— I don't know, I don't know if he needs to like send a present or like a bottle of whiskey or something to De'Aaron Fox, because if De'Aaron Fox doesn't do those two things, Josh Hart's two things would have been the main story on that comeback where he misses the layup, kind of mistimes the jump.

He didn't know if he was going to dunk it or not. Yeah, you got to make up your mind.

And then he doesn't box out Steph Castle in a huge moment, and that's what he does. He always is boxing people out. So he went from, oh my God, Josh Hart just had the worst two minutes, to Just kidding, it was De'Aaron Fox.

Yeah, the, uh, the very, very last play of the game, Cat getting a finger on that inbounds pass probably saved the game because it looked like Castle had a step on him and it looked like that pass might have been delivered on time and they might have lost on an alley-oop. But by the very, very tip of Cat's finger, the deflection saved the night. It was, it was a cool thing to watch. And then we could talk about the Celebrity Row situation that we had last night because There were lots of them there.

Kirk Herbstreit's dog.

Kirk Herbstreit's dog was not there. Kirk wanted me to clarify that.

Mm-hmm. I credit to Herbstreit.

I didn't realize he had juice like that.

Well, ESPN has the finals still.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was even still— that wasn't juice. That was his dog.

Is— do we want to— do we want to have the discussion? And I want to hear from Zach and Memes. Is Taylor Swift a bad friend for, for calling dibs on the Stevie Nicks shirt because it was by far the best one.

No, because she also brought one for Mariska Hargitay. Okay. And she was also— Yeah, you do Law Order: SVU.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. She, she might be, she might be the MVP Knicks fan because after the game was over, she like immediately started hugging Jalen Brunson's dad. She was hugging OG on the court. I love Mariska. Great fan. I would say that it's more about the conversation of what does this mean for Philadelphia sports fans' legacy that they lost Taylor Swift?

They lost her a while ago, though.

Yeah, but I mean, I think if the—

bad sports town—

if a lot of celebrities were going to a Sixers game courtside, I think she would also be remarkably a Sixers fan again.

She— you don't think she was there for the basketball?

I think she was there for her friends.

Oh, so Taylor Swift can't like sports?

She's been an ex-fan.

She was rooting for the Cavs last series.

She wasn't rooting for fiancé's team.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she was there to watch.

Oh, you talk about the seat that I'm going to buy.

Yeah.

Yeah. This new seat's going to go for a shitload of money, especially that game. But yeah, I mean, listen, you're already Taylor Swift. I think let someone else have Stevie Nicks shirt.

Okay.

Do you know what I'm saying?

But she did. She brought one for Marissa.

I understand. But like, it was the, the 3 of them all game. They kept on showing us. I think it was Nick Nickelback.

Nicole Kidman.

Nicole.

That's the garb. The worst shirt ever. Like, that's the one you got to wear if you're Taylor Swift because you're Taylor Swift. Everyone already has eyes on you. You took Stevie Nicks. That's the best shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Just be a good friend. That's all I'm saying. Do you see that?

Poor. I think she was a great friend.

I think.

I think she got her friends.

I guess they did the best seats ever because a quarter million dollars on those seats. But still, come on. Like, Stevie Nicks is the best shirt of those.

Yeah, it was, it was, it was awesome seeing that shot right after. I think it was right after the, the tip-in by OG and it cut to the crowd and it goes like Jerry Seinfeld, Adam Sandler freaking out, all those girls freaking out and jumping around. And then there was one other person that was sitting right behind him. Oh, Scooter Braun. We got great sports town. They were all having a good time.

Close personal friend of Taylor Swift. Yeah. All right. Memes, Zach. Wanna hear from the boys. How we feeling? What— give us everything from last night.

I feel great.

Invincible.

Invincible. Last night was so fucking awesome. I was just sitting crisscross applesauce in front of all 4 of my TVs and I was just super hyper-focused and just this come I got this. I hate when Max does this.

Oh, what is he doing?

He just grabs this.

Yeah, because you like—

you're trying to—

you just grab it.

I'm trying to fucking grab it.

You're the one who stopped talking.

Way to steal his moment, Max.

I want—

I want the people to be able to see him when he's saying this.

Fair, fair, fair point.

I forgot where I was. Oh, Max, you're about to come.

I was about to come. I never quit on the game. Uh, I thought they were gonna come back, bet them at halftime because of the Celtics series from last year. I knew that it was actually possible to come back because they did it twice in their own— in Boston, both times against the defending NBA champions. And you knew that would be possible against a very young team, and that's what happened last night.

Hank?

Zach, you said memes and Zach.

Oh, okay, Zach.

This Knicks team has showed us all series and all playoffs not long that if there's time on the clock, there's an opportunity. For the majority of the game, I was, I was, it didn't feel good. I'm not gonna say I lost hope or step, but it didn't feel the best. It almost felt as if, you know, we get it under 20, it's like, okay, here it is, a little momentum, and they juice it back up a little bit. And then we get there, it's like, okay, this is the spot, this is where they make the run. Break the pace and they knock it up a little bit again. It's like, okay, I'm not sure what's going to go on here. And then for the way the fourth quarter unfolded, I've never felt—

please don't sigh into the microphone, Hank.

My body was tingling.

That's all. I was thinking, I can't like stress enough. I don't remember a vibe shift in a series quite like this inside of a game because it's not just the game. Like it's not just the first half and what happened. We also had an entire day where like James Dolan goes on radio and just starts spouting his mouth off, talking shit about San Antonio, guaranteeing a championship, getting in a fight with, uh, Mamdani. Then Mamdani fights back with James Dolan. Like, they cancel the party again. It felt like the sky was falling for Knicks fans.

Knicks fans also a bunch of scumbags. People are talking about how Knicks fans are a bunch of scumbags.

Yeah, that's postgame. Hold on. Yeah, we'll get to that.

Yeah, crime.

Well, I'm saying before—

yeah, yes, yeah, but, but like everything that could have gone wrong after one single loss went wrong. Jordan Woods couldn't get her bag in the game. She actually did get it in the game, game 4, which was huge, but everything was like falling apart. We have a historic run. The Knicks go on 12 games in a row. They're the happiest city on earth. They lose one game. All of a sudden We've got politicians and billionaires and everyone fighting and watch parties getting canceled and everything sucks. And then it's the greatest game ever, greatest NBA Finals game ever. It's like crazy. I am still in shock a day later.

The first half, the only good thing that happened to the Knicks in the first half, and I think that's when Wimby got his flagrant, right? So there's one, he's got one more and then he gets the sussy, which makes that non-flagrant that he didn't get from the Brunson shove a couple of days ago that much more impactful. Wimby was just— he lost control a few times. He's got a little temper to him.

He did get Mitch Johnson or Robinson good.

He did get it. Yeah, he got him good. But he also— he loses his— he loses control sometimes in games when he gets like somebody just runs into him. They give him like a small elbow to his side. They push him off balance a little bit. They like pick on him a little in like very small ways. Good playoff physicality. And then that builds up for Wemby and he just lets you have it. But it's so obvious when Wemby lets you have it because the refs call it every single time. He's got like a temper issue, I think.

But, but it was like I was saying on Wednesday's show, like part of me thinks Wemby's actually doing a decent job of standing up for himself where he's just not letting people push him around because you're a skinny guy and you can get pushed around the physicality and all that stuff. And he's like, No, I'm not going to get pushed around. I, I'm a little, I, I'm a little exhausted on the way. The Athletic article being like, can you believe Wemby drew a picture in a park? I didn't read that one. Oh my God, I'm a little, I, I'm a little Wemby'd out for a second. I just need a breather. It's gonna be nice to have two, two days in between games.

I mean, who knows what he's gonna get up to before that game.

Well, I just, it's more that when Wemby plays like that little dog, when he's just floating around and taking through like I— it's not— it's not fun to watch. He's so physically imposing. Just get down there, dude. Get your ass in the paint.

I like it when he gets mad. I think that like this type of physicality is good, but it does end up costing his team sometimes. Yeah. Um, and yeah, that was the only downside to the first half when everything seemed to go right for the Spurs. Every single thing seemed to go right. And I, I think losing the game mentally very draining on the Spurs, but then to have to go through everything that they did after, like they had to just sit in that locker room in silence, just thinking about what just happened to them.

And then eggs thrown at them.

They had eggs thrown at them on their way out. And Wimby was probably like, ooh, omelet, oui oui. And then they got into the bus.

Quiche.

Ooh, some quiche, omelet. And then he gets into the bus. They're probably still silent in that bus. They go home, think about what they've done, go to the airport, think about what they've done. Just the aftermath of that is going to be what makes it really tough for them to get over. If they're going to get pissed off in the next couple of days or if they're just going to be sad. If they're going to be sad about it, then they're fucked. If they're going to get mad, they're still in it because they've got the talent, I think.

Do you guys disavow the egg throwing?

Disavow, but great arm.

Oh, that doesn't sound like a disavowal.

No, I disavow, but—

Yeah, Bucs fans are scumbags.

Like, there's part of me—

There is not enough talk about how poorly they have acted after these games.

One loss and it just fell apart.

Yeah, you should never pull a prank on anybody by throwing eggs at them. That's not cool.

Well, unless you're like—

but it was good.

Unless you're like 12 years old, it's Halloween, then I'm not all Knicks fans. But, but there's been enough.

There's been times.

Yeah, it's not just one isolated event.

Well, it's New York. Everybody has eggs.

Is that true?

Yeah, there's just random people carrying around eggs.

Oh, they got the city grocery stores.

Yeah, the bodegas. They don't have those anywhere else.

Yeah, only in New York.

Only in New York can you go and get cereal, eggs, and toilet paper and cigarettes.

You can't get that anywhere else. Zach, do you have any comment about the fact that just within the last year, IShowSpeed has done several videos where he encourages people to throw eggs at him as he runs around trying to evade them and then acting like it's one big joke? Do you think that maybe Knicks fans saw that and they're like, oh, hey, Wimby might like it and think that it's a fun video if I throw eggs at him?

I think eggs historically are more of a hijinks, fun goof, not, not so much a malicious act. In this case, it may have been a malicious act, so I'm, I'm going to disavow the egg throwing and the egg hitting Wimby on the top of the head. If Wimby wasn't a human and he was a target, I'd say it was a great throw.

As Knicks fans, are you guys sneaky? I, I know you're going to Game 5, so you want to watch the championship, you want to see the trophy in front of you, but is there a small part of you that like silver lining, if the Knicks lose Game 5, at least we get to beat up some more Spurs fans back in New York?

Off-court violence is never the answer.

Because like, that's probably— you're probably thinking that a little bit, like, hey, at least this means we get to fucking punch some more random guys in a Spurs jersey. Disavow. Disavow.

Retweet that disavow.

But you did— you did tweet out crime last week.

I was talking—

yeah, I was—

crime on the hardwood, good play.

Yes.

Outside the arena, crime. I'm not sure.

No, listen, I'm not— we're obviously joke— like, disavow, but we're obviously like— every fan base has scumbags. I, I do not think all Knicks fans are bad. It's the—

it's—

I do think that this—

these are the worst videos of that.

There's a shitload of people in New York City, but yeah, yeah.

These videos are real bad.

Sounds like you're avowing them.

I'm not. I'm disavowing them. I'm avowing all other Knicks fans who don't— I want to talk. Let's talk about the Knicks. I'm more impressed by the Knicks fans that didn't punch a Spurs guy in the face. Why don't we talk about that?

What's that? And also, like, if you just look at the statistical probability—

I mean, we've been talking about throwing snowballs at Santa Claus since the '60s.

I know, you're from Philly. I get it. If you throw it, if you throw an egg in New York City, last night, chances are if it's going to hit anybody, it's probably going to be Wimby because he's so much bigger than everybody else. True. So that might have been a complete coincidence.

Yeah. Also, Santa Claus is like— it's different than Wimby. Santa Claus, dude.

Yeah. And this is where all of Max's anger comes from, is he just— he wants people to stop saying that people from Philly are scumbags.

Well, I just get pissed off because I keep seeing all these videos. It's like, wow, New York's acting a lot like Philly. And these are worse than anything that Philly's ever done.

What about when Michael Irvin got like paralyzed and you cheered? I didn't.

There's no—

there's— that's—

that cheering is worse than assaulting a guy and ripping his jersey off and giving him a bloody nose. What about on camera?

Yeah, about throwing up onto a small girl in the stands.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

I'm a Phillies fan.

Max, you can get— listen, you can get a bump or bruise. Mental trauma is way worse. OK, so yeah.

What about interrupting a podcast and threatening to beat up one of the producers?

Was that you, Memes? No. Oh, you do that off camera?

No, they don't.

Oh, that was not— he did not. He did not disavow you.

Not true. That's actually fake news.

Memes, fake news. You are fake news. All right. There's one person on the show that we've not heard from because they went pretty silent last night. No text on the group chat. I think he said, I'm sick, and then also said, this is worse than the Ray Allen 3, which someone aptly pointed out. Like, they're like, Hank, your team wasn't involved in either of those games.

Well, that was my point. That was— that was— that was like— that was the worst sports loss.

I don't—

the Ray Allen 3, like, that stung so much specifically, like, probably because it was Ray Allen, like, former Celtic. Playing for the team that I hated the most. So I still think that one was worse. And it was like a game, you know, it was, it was Game 6 versus Game 4. But I didn't— I lost sleep. I lost a significant amount of sleep because of that game. I was sick about it. Even Darren Fox, like, he— I think it was in the fourth quarter, maybe late in the third quarter, where he just had one of those turnovers where he just threw— like, he had a— he had no one in front of him. And he just passed the ball out of bounds. Like, it was in between Wemby and one of their guards. He just passed it to no one. Ball went out of bounds. Turnover. From that point on, I was watching him and my brother, and we're like, Darren Fox has been bad, bad, bad, bad. And then he proceeded to have like the worst fourth quarter of all time. But yeah, I was— I, I, I'm sick about it. I don't, I don't really know what to say.

I don't know.

I'm not going to fake congratulate them. I was not happy for them. I'm not happy for them. I don't want them to watch them win Game 5 in San Antonio. Like, I don't know what you want me to say.

No, I love this.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I like that you're being as honest as possible.

I was— I like— it felt like they were, you know, the Spurs were in complete control. It was obvious, like, obviously they were not going to stay as hot. They weren't going to score 79 points in the second half, but I think they scored 15 points, like by the time there was 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter.

He scored 30 points the entire series.

It was just such a tough watch and just the courtside performative fans and Taylor Swift and all these people going crazy. It was disgusting. It was nothing. It was nothing short of disgusting.

There was no double fist pumps, no real fan movement.

No, no pump faking a ball.

They knew the camera was on them. Hank, I do have a question about one thing that you said that you're not happy for him. But you did say that you want New Yorkers to win something because they've gone through such a long period of losing.

I didn't say I want them to win something. I just, I've always joked about how long it's been since they haven't won something. So this would, you know, take that joke away. But I mean, the series is over. Like it, it, it's over. There's, there, like you said, PFT, there's no way that the Spurs have what it takes to close 3 more games.

I don't think I said that, but yeah.

They don't have what it takes to close 3 more games. This series is over. It's only a matter of time. They could be up 3-1 pretty easily.

They're, they're, you know, 3, probably 3 plays away from being up 3-1.

Darren Fox, the fact that he has a max contract is disgusting. He completely choked that game away. We should be talking about Josh Hart.

We're not.

And I'm sick about it. I don't know what that, that's it. That's it.

All right. It's— you're right. We're not talking about— do you want the opportunity to talk about Josh Hart? Do you want to live in a fantasy world? Let's pretend that—

oh, it is what it is. We live— life is live. We're in reality.

Life is life.

The Knicks won and Josh Hart missing that layup and not boxing out doesn't matter.

Are you like— when you're watching the game, at what point were you like, oh my God, this is actually happening?

I mean, once they got the lead, like once, once he missed— I mean, he missed the layup and it was like, oh, they're, they're good, that's gonna be it. Like that was gonna, you know, push them to complete the comeback. And when he missed that, I was like, oh, there's a chance. But yeah, I honestly thought the Spurs were gonna win. Like, I, I— the, the not like the missing the layup and not boxing out, it's like that was huge. Like, that— the Spurs almost blowing that and, and still winning the game, like, that's going to be kind of a catalyst for them to— like, if they had won that game, I feel like they could have closed out 2 more games because they kind of felt that, like, they choked a lead but they still pulled it out. And now they, you know, it's tied, they're going back home, they have home court advantage back, they can win this series. And to blow that the way they did, and they had an open look— like, obviously when you watch it in slow-mo, slow-mo makes everything look obvious, but he just didn't time the jump.

Like, like he threw the inbound as KAT was jumping up in the air. Like, if you just time the jump when he's coming down like that, that doesn't happen. It was, it was everything that, everything bad that could have happened happened.

I, what do you think we'd be saying if, uh, if OG doesn't tip that ball in? Would we be like, hey, Jalen Brunson, what a terrible shot that was?

Yeah.

I mean, the shot was probably, that was probably the plan was to, to give them a chance for a rebound. So I, I don't, I don't think it, I mean, it was from deep. Like it was a pretty crazy long shot.

But I do think Jalen Brunson was like, now that De'Aaron Fox has come over to me, we have, we have 4— what would that be? 4-on-3 on the boards.

I got it.

I got to chuck this up now.

Yeah.

And it was a great— I mean, it was a like— OG got so high up. It was perfectly timed. It was, it was the worst kind of destiny.

Hank, is there a small part of you— and I respect the hell out of you being a hater real hater, like admitting it. But is there a small part of you that's like, I just watched an all-time sports moment and it was just so clouded by hate I couldn't enjoy it? Because like, I, I don't really— yes, like I want my guys to be happy, but I also don't really care who wins the NBA Finals. I just want good games. So in the moment, I was just watching and being like, this is incredible. What I'm watching is incredible. It's not like I was rooting for the Knicks, but I was I was just appreciating how incredible it was.

No, I was sick about it. I remember like the Ray Allen game. I was, I was dating a girl who's living in Boston. She was at work and I was at her apartment. Like her roommate was home, but she wasn't even watching the game. And I was screaming at the TV and I was like lying on the floor after just in pain and misery. And then she came, was like, are you like, what is, what is going on? And that's, that's what it felt like.

I was just, how did you explain that one to her?

I was just like, the Heat won the game, Ray Allen hit a 3, and she was like, uh, okay.

She's like, I didn't know you were a Spurs fan.

Yeah, no, I mean, she wasn't even following basketball. She was just like, uh, can you like get off the floor? Like, this is weird. But yeah, it brought me back to that moment. It was like, it's a pit in your stomach, like sickness. Like, yeah, there's no way that just happened. There's no way that just happened. And it's not even a Celtics game. Like, I shouldn't feel as bad about this as I do, but I did.

One thing that we can all take a little, uh, comfort in is, yeah, the Spurs have had like almost a, a series of dynasties and it looks like they might be on the cusp of maybe another one if Wimby turns into the player we think he's going to be. Uh, they've also had 3 of the most iconic, yeah, last minute heartbreaking, soul-crunching defeats in the playoffs. So there was the Ray Allen shot, there was the one last night from OG, then the Derek Fisher shot against him after they took the lead on that Tim Duncan fadeaway. With what, 0.4 seconds left in the game?

Hey, listen, they've had some bad ones. Yeah, when you're good, when you're as good as Spurs franchise, right, then you're going to be in those moments. But yeah, no, it's a good point. Yeah. Uh, Hank, I'm surprised that you didn't jump on what Meme said.

You—

the Celtics trained the Knicks. You should take credit for it. No, I, I—

blowing leads, they didn't train it.

The Knicks paused.

This. You had an opportunity to kill the Knicks.

You let them live. Oh, that's okay. That's, that's worse for you.

If they lose to the Celtics in that second round matchup, they blow it up. Instead, they believed. And then this year they blew a 3-1 lead as the favorites to win the championship against a bad Sixers team.

Yeah, I mean, we're talking about the NBA Finals like that.

I—

this, this, this has nothing to do with the Celtics, but if that, you know, if that's, if that's the route you want to go. If you're one game away, you're going to San Antonio to potentially watch your team win an NBA championship and you're thinking about the Celtics, like, I win.

So, you know, we were talking about reality a second ago. And when you look at the past, it is prolog. And last year, Memes is right that when you lost to the Knicks, you gave up your chance to end whatever it was they were trying to build.

I mean, our best player tore his Achilles like that. That's huge asterisk.

What point in the series?

There's still a couple games left.

What was the record in the series when he tore his Achilles?

2-1? Oh, we're in 1-2, maybe 0-2. I don't know.

What was it, memes?

It's 2-1.

Okay.

Yeah, 1-2. Um, yeah, that was a hell of a night, and I'm so happy the boys get to go. I mean, the, the, the fact that they're going to be in the building with the trophy When— at what point did you think— did that dawn on both of you?

1 hour after the game. Yeah, I, I just screamed in my apartment.

You're like, oh shit, because Game 5 would have been much different if you don't come back. If you get absolutely worked, if it's first half, second half is exact same, Knicks lose by 30, you're going to Game 5 with like, this is all falling apart, the sky is falling.

I was in bed on the rewatch and when they started picking up again, I was like, oh yeah, this is— this could be it.

They're going to do it.

Yeah, you got to rewatch. You got— how many rewatches do you think you're going to have? And side question, will you also rewatch the first half?

So I ran it all the way through. So it's just like, let's see it build up again and see how it goes.

Yeah.

See, see if this goes our way again.

I mean, the Spurs were so good in the first half.

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you, you do know that you have to— you have to win this series. Because if you don't, last night is just not— didn't exist.

It would maybe even be worse than that. It would exist, but as a joke. Yeah. Like if you have Taylor Swift and Haim doing a jig at center court, if you got Tracy Morgan crying and puking and shitting and then crying again and then laughing, hey, that's going to be— it's going to be funny to look back on.

This is what you should look forward to, Hank, as a hater. Like, this is— if they do not win this series, Game 4 literally never happened. And he's right. It's more of a joke than anything. It's not the best game ever. It's like, how did they lose that?

I won't— that won't cross my mind till it's 3-3, and that's not going to happen.

You're going to actually— it will turn into your favorite game ever. Yeah. If they blow this.

Yeah.

If you remember when you celebrated winning the NBA championship after Game 4.

If the Spurs can get it 3-3, I will entertain that thought. But until then, do you think there's a chance to get to 3-2?

Nope. You think it's over on Saturday night? I hope not.

Zach and Memes, have you thought—

actually, whatever. I like— I don't care. The series is over.

Sounds like he's shaking.

If they're gonna celebrate, he's thinking about it.

Like, you're gonna be watching the game though, and you're gonna be rooting against the Knicks, obviously. Yeah, so it's like, don't even try and say this.

No, but like, the series is over. Like, I guess, yeah, whatever.

Uh, don't—

yeah, I was gonna say like, it'd be nice for Zach and Memes, but like, I—

you don't— but you don't mean— you can't even say no, no, no, you can't You don't feel that.

Zachy Memes, have you guys thought about what you're going to be wearing to the game? Very important.

I think Pilar's sending us some shirts. I also have a Bing Bong Hanky shirt.

Oh, you with the trophy.

Makes my tits pop.

And it's also going to be like so many Knicks fans there.

I think it's going to be 75%.

I don't think it's going to be 75%, Memes.

There's a lot of Knicks fans.

75% to clinch, to clinch the Finals in San Antonio. Yeah, everyone should just head to San Antonio, but then all the Spurs fans have to sell their tickets. That's true. I think it'll be a solid like 25-30%.

I, I'll think a little bit more.

I think the over on that as well. You think, you think, I think higher than, I think they're gonna flock. You guys are— they'd have to sell all their tickets.

I think this isn't—

this isn't an hour and a half drive.

No flight to watch a closing championship game.

There are just so many New Yorkers.

There are. And they've— they don't have championship fatigue.

It's not like it's a Saturday.

Yeah. It's not like Ohio State football fans traveling every postseason.

I think there's a chance.

Okay. This is like Indiana, like the long dormant, massive fan base. Yeah. You haven't had any— anything to spend your money on in the past. You're going to go to this one. All right. You should get Larry O'Brien nipple rings if you win.

Memes in. That'd be so sick. That'd be so sick. Yeah. Thanks again to TickPick. We got more coming with TickPick starting in July. But incredible. We're so excited for our boys. Well, almost all of us are so excited for our boys to go to San Antonio. Max, are you excited for them?

Yeah, I mean, I don't like the Knicks, but like, I'm not saying I was like jumping for joy when the Knicks won that game.

No, I wasn't either.

But like, it's cool. Like, I can acknowledge that it's cool for them, but I can't say that I'm—

I can acknowledge that too.

Like, I bet on the Spurs going into that game yesterday, and then I bet on the Knicks midway in the end of the third quarter because I felt like they were coming back. Like, I— for most of the game, I was rooting for the Spurs, and then I switched, and then I bet on the Knicks, and I was rooting for the Knicks. Like, I'm just not really letting it affect me one way or the other, right?

Me neither.

Yeah, I'm, I'm going like straight reporter mode, journalist mode. I just, I'm just enjoying the hell out of the series.

I just want more basketball.

That's why I do.

That's why I will— I think in theory I want the Spurs to win so I get more basketball, but in reality, I think I would, I would rather have Memes and Zach get that moment winning a championship in front of their faces.

Well, more basketball and also more Spurs fans getting beat up.

Remember me?

Yeah, they wanted that.

We're weak on more eggs thrown.

Yeah, they want it. They both personally requested that.

Zach, I'm going to give you the opportunity to make it up.

Don't throw eggs at Memes and Zach in San Antonio.

Don't do that. That's mean, Hank.

If you do, that's mean.

If you do, just say like, Hank, told us not to. And then me and Zach will just bring in a carton of eggs on Sunday and not throw them at Hank.

I mutually assured destruction.

Yeah. Declare yourself as someone who's—

who's a loyalist, who's—

who's specifically not throwing eggs at you as you throw an egg at him because of Hank.

And if you really do cage-free, free-range, you know, it looks like some— some ethically sourced eggs.

Yeah.

Not the head.

Yeah. Zach, I'm going to give you an opportunity to try this again. Pump-up speech, New York Knicks, Saturday.

Right now?

Go.

Yeah. Gentlemen, we're one game away from a moment all of you have worked towards your entire lives. The sacrifices you've made, the sacrifices your family have— families have made to get here to the precipice of basketball. All those hard evenings, all those early mornings, The moments you thought you were gonna quit, they build up to this right here. You got to go out there and show them why you were built for the moment. Not everybody's built for the moment, but today you are. One win away. Do it for yourselves. Do it for the people you love. Do it for the sport that you love. Let's go get this win, boys.

Nice.

Much better.

Much, much better. I disagree.

I don't—

the crime one was way—

wait, that one was— I got pumped also, Zach.

Can I just on the end, like, P.S.?

Yeah. Director's cut.

Yep.

Yeah. P.S. If we don't get this win, boys, don't worry. More Spurs fans will get their noses cracked. Back to crime only on court. All right. We're going to do Stanley Cup Final and a little World Cup, and then we'll get to our interviews. Then we have a bonus preview for Mount Rushmore. We're doing a little friendly for Mount Rushmore, a preseason Mount Rushmore with Hank's dad and Firefest. Before we do that, this summer the Cup is taking over the US and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. The DraftKings Sportsbook app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat, sweat all the matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter what you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers sign up with code TAKE and spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days.

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Okay, we're back, uh, talking about the Stanley Cup Final, and the Carolina Hurricanes are 1 game away from lifting the cup. The cup will be in the building for Game 6 in Vegas on What is it, Saturday night, I believe? No, Sunday night. Sunday night will be the— the Cup will be in the building. And PFT, uh, the Vegas Golden Knights have a Carter Hart problem because he has given up 5 straight games. He's given up 4 goals, at minimum 4 goals. It's a Carter Hart problem. I feel like I— listen, I'm not a hockey guru, none of us are, but I think this might be the time, and it probably was the time before Game 5, to go to the guy who won you a cup in Aiden Hill.

Yeah, Carter Hart's been pretty bad. And then on the other side, the Knights have a Bussi problem. Bussi is electric. He's the Bussi of the year. I don't know if he's— there's been some pushback calling him a rookie because he's so old, but it is his rookie season. He's on fire right now. He was awesome tonight. And yeah, it was, it was another good hockey game. No real late drama. It looked like maybe at the end the Knights might threaten to get within one, but it wasn't a nail-biter like the other ones.

Yeah. And there was that, that one goal. I think it was goal 2 by the Hurricanes. So nasty. The Hurricanes. I mean, they, they, I've started to like watching them play hockey because they just, absolutely stay on top of you. Like, we've talked to a bunch of our hockey guys and they've said it. And like, after they've said it and I've been able to watch it more, they just give you no time to breathe whatsoever. And it's, it's fun to watch because you just know they're just going to— they come at you in waves and they do not stop. Oh, we just had a goal. We just had a goal. Czechia just scored.

Oh, you guys are ahead of me.

Sorry. It might also be VAR. So we'll see. They all point—

robot steps in.

My favorite part of— oh, yep, the flag is up. I love the World Cup because if a guy scores a goal, everyone just immediately points to the ref to be like, hey, you got to check that.

I've got, I've got a couple problems with just the, the new wave of VAR in soccer. It does feel like you're looking at everything and you can find— no one— you can't get away with a foul anymore. And I know that it helps the refs get it right ultimately. But there's an art, just like in any other sport, to getting away with stuff. Like if you made every little ticky-tack, like holding call reviewable in the NFL, it would kind of suck for defensive backs. But in soccer now, it looks like you just can't get away with shit.

Yeah. The— by the way. All right. So back to hockey real quick, because then we are going to turn a little bit. Yeah. Goals off. We're talking a little bit of World Cup. But, um, so the stat is Carter Hart is the first goalie to concede 4+ goals in each of the first 5 games of a Stanley Cup Final. You have to, you have to go back to Aidan Hill. You just have to. Like, there's just, I don't understand. So Tortorello was asked if he considered going to Aidan Hill in the third period. He said, oh Christ, that might be the stupidest question I've ever heard. Well, so maybe they won't go to Aidan Hill.

I feel like, I feel like Tortz has heard stupider questions than that.

Definitely. That's not that dumb of a question. Especially your goalie that's given up 4-plus goals in 5 straight games in the Stanley Cup Final. That's a reasonable question to at least ask.

I would say great question.

Yeah, great question.

It is, uh, it was good to see Aho kind of get off the schneid. I think he was on what, like a 5-game goalless streak. And then Jordan Staal is just a beast too. And you're right, these Hurricanes are a lot more fun than they have been for the last 4 years.

Yeah. Yeah. They've been awesome to watch. Yeah. And Jordan Staal, he just keeps on doing it. I mean, he's— what do we say? I think he's 37 years old. I'll check that. But the fact that he just every single game— that's so that's every single game in the Stanley Cup Final, he scored a goal. It's insane to watch. And yeah, yeah, like, I don't know, if you're a Vegas Golden Knights fan, which we're literally just talking to Bluttman right now, it hasn't gone well the last 2 games. And it feels like you had the series, you know, if you go even back to Game 2 and then ever since essentially Game 3 when they, the 30, I know they ended up winning that game, the 3 goals in 39 seconds, but from that point on it feels like— oh, Korea just scored. It feels like the game— the series has been tilted towards the Hurricanes, even though, again, they lost that game. But from that point on, they have just been dominant.

Yeah, I'm looking for a flag.

Yeah, fine.

I'm not getting a flag. I think the main, main difference tonight was the crank.

Yeah.

They had Mike Commodore.

Commodore, our boy.

Our boy, Commie. We need to get him on part of my take. He's probably the funniest person I've ever spoken with. He'll just talk for like 2 hours and it's like every line is a punchline. That dude is the man. When I saw he was on the crank, I knew it might be a Kane's kind of night.

Yeah, yeah. He looked like a crazed man on that crank. And he— that we said the series was going to be decided by the crank off and pulling out Commodore in Game 5 was a huge move. Commodore over T-Pain right now. If you're looking at advanced analytics, I've always said that. Yeah. Do you think that the Knights finish it off? Do you think that after this weekend we'll have no more finals?

No, I think, I think Stanley Cup's going 7.

Oh, okay. With or without Carter Hart in net?

I think they're going to make a change. I think Tortz was, uh, the fact that he said that's the dumbest question he's ever been asked. Kind of tells me that he's— that's some little projecting right there. He thinks the Lady Doth protest too much.

Yeah, I think, uh, I guess I— if you could spin zone it, it was a good move by Torch to answer that way to— if, if for some reason he has to stick with Carter Hart, you didn't just submarine his confidence. I don't know how his confidence could be lower, but you didn't make it— you didn't personally make it lower. You kept it— well, maybe status quo.

Maybe he was saying it's the dumbest question he's ever heard because of course he's going to take him out.

True. Good point. Yeah. Like, no duh, dude. He's given up a million goals.

Did you not hear that he's the first goalie to allow 5 goals in his first Stanley Cup games?

Mm-hmm. All right. World Cup real quick. We started the World Cup. Mexico wins the inaugural game of the 2026 World Cup 2-0 with 3 red cards. Red card.

Oh.

Oh, this game is crazy right now. Watch that PFT. This is live PFT replay of just how close they came to scoring right there. Uh, is it a corner? It is a corner. Yes. The corner bet has hit. I love betting corners. If anyone, if anyone knows what a good corner bet is, please start sending me because I will bet every corner I only overs, but if, if you're like, hey, this game's gonna have a lot of corners, just, just hit me up. I'd appreciate that because there's something about corners because like soccer, you know, you're gonna get only 2 or 3 goals. It feels like you're— if you bet the over in the game, you're gonna end up with a VAR that fucks you one way or the other. Corners, you just get corners. You get corners and they keep coming.

Number 5 has a throw-in like it's a corner kick. Yeah, that was crazy.

But yeah, so the World Cup has started and we're getting ready for USA tonight. And yeah, the 3 red cards was nuts though. They were playing 10 on 9 at the end of the South— South Africa and Mexico.

So, so in the last World Cup in Qatar, guess how many red cards there were for the entire tournament?

I'm going to guess 2 because you said it.

No, there were 4.

Oh, okay.

There were 4 for the whole tournament and then there were 3 in the opening match. Which, um, I, I saw Clint Dempsey saying like, they're just, they're setting a tone. They're just like, it's like in the preseason when, when refs like have a point of emphasis that they'd like to get across. That's what that game was. Everybody was watching it. 3 red cards. They're like, yeah, we're not going to take any shit. They're going to take plenty of shit. Just, uh, you know, when the games start to mean something, they'll, they'll keep the cards in their pocket. But hopefully, I guess their strategy is just like scare them. For the group stage. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm a little bit nervous going into tomorrow because, uh, if we lose, the, the nerves are just going to swallow us alive. And there's absolutely zero excuse to not making out of this group. Um, I think I was talking to Titus about this earlier today. I think that if the United States does not make it out of their group, meaning they finish in third or more likely fourth, because I think half the third place teams are going to get out.

We should just eliminate soccer in the United States. We should stop playing soccer. Make it against the law. If you see a child with a soccer ball, take it away, stab it, deflate it, stab the ball, stab the ball, make that clear, deflate the ball, throw it away, light it on fire. It should be illegal to play soccer in the United States if we don't make it out of this group.

That's how easy this group is. That's what I've been saying.

And that's how, that's how favorable the conditions are in this tournament. And if it doesn't happen, then that's it. You know what? I was about to say we had a good run. We had a terrible run. Let's never do it again. Take our ball, go home, play real football.

That's what I've been saying. I think we are.

I think we're going to get out of the group stage. I think so too.

Yeah. Okay. Anything else? I think, I think that's it. We got an awesome rest of the show.

What? One last thing. Yeah. One last thing for the, for the World Cup. I did consult our two top football experts, Tom Fornelli and Brandon Walker, to give their picks on who can win the World Cup, much like they did for college football this year. And Tom won that. Brandon's teams are Spain, Germany, Portugal, Netherlands, and then he threw in the United by God States of the by God of America.

Okay.

And then Tom Fornelli's teams, France, England, Brazil, Argentina.

He didn't— Tom didn't pick Italy.

Yeah, I was pretty shocked by that too. I think—

I don't think that— what?

What do you mean, Max?

No, it was not in it.

Oh no.

Why not? They're one of the best teams in the world.

Yeah, they won one recently too.

Yeah, they're not in it. That's crazy.

They won last time, though, right?

Huh?

They won the last World Cup, you mean?

No, they weren't in it that World Cup either.

They made it two times in a row.

Yeah, they either— they either like to win it or they don't like to be in it.

Got it.

That's the only two outcomes.

Pretty much.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. It's crazy. All right. Let's get to the rest of the show. We got Spencer Hawes, who's at Game 5 at MSG. We have Brett Belemah. Both those guests in studio. And we have a very special Mount Rushmore with Mr. Lockwood in studio and Fyre Fest. Okay, before we get to our good friend, longtime guest Spencer Hawes, uh, in studio, we're brought to you by Reese's. Nothing beat summer break when you were a kid. It was a time off from school and sad school lunches, but you don't get summer break as a grown-up, and that's a huge bummer. But the good news is you could at least take a break from sad work lunches this summer with Reese's. Limited edition cups, and the return of the Reese's Strawberry PB&J, plus the all-new Reese's Marshmallow Cup, which, by the way, incredible. We have a Reese's Lounge here now in the office. The Reese's Marshmallow Cup is my favorite candy of all time. I— it's in— actually, it's my second favorite candy of all time because my number one candy of all time is now the Reese's with the Oreo hybrid. Zach, do you agree?

Fantastic combination.

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Sun hitting you, being like, oh, it's a little hot. Oh yep, crack open a Twisted Lemonade now. Ooh, refreshing as refreshing gets. Whether it's hitting the course for a round, pre-gaming a ball game, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling, the new Twisted Tea Summer Party Pack is perfect to keep the good times rolling. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest, a longtime guest, one of our— when, when we first saw Spencer, 2016. Yeah. 2016.

Spencer Hawes. Spencer's one of two people in the world that got the recurring guest t-shirt.

Yes, I actually have two of them.

What?

Yeah, don't hug him. How'd you get two of them?

I'll bring one back.

Okay.

I don't know how— well, one of you guys, I don't know.

But Spencer's here randomly, so he's here for a bachelor party in Chicago, and I was like, we were thinking about who we should have on today, uh, and Spencer was at MSG for Game 4, the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history. Now, oh God, the part I didn't realize, which, uh, kind of hurts because we haven't taped— for everyone listening right now, we haven't taped the full show yet. We haven't done the full recap of the game. I forgot that you were childhood friends with Mitch Johnson. So yeah, um, how's that going right now?

Uh, you know, You win, you win Game 5. We got to keep it going. Yep. Maybe they're too young to know what they've gotten into, but no, it wasn't great. That was not a lot of fun. Well, it was a lot of fun until it wasn't. And God, it was just kind of— it just kind of kept happening. You're like, all right, they'll stop. It'll stop the bleeding. And then credit to the Knicks, they just don't go away. They've done this all playoffs. But fuck, that one stung.

Yeah, I can give you a spin zone because I have used this one myself. I'm a fan of the Washington Commanders. Their head coach Dan Quinn, uh, always gets discussed with the 28-3. He was good enough to get a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. That's pretty fucking good.

They scored 76 points in the first half of an NBA Finals game.

He had a 29-point lead in the— like, that's pretty good.

That's insane, dude.

I checked fucking Twitter this morning. I made that mistake, and the first thing that popped up was that comparison.

So yeah, good coaches.

They've been up what, 15 points in every game at some point. And you know, they're young, they're gonna make mistakes. But that's a part—

spin zone.

Yeah, like I said, they're gonna flip it. Maybe they're so young and they don't know the difference. And yeah, game 5, go back to guarding game 6, see what happens.

It is— I, I do think it's not fair, like, we've— because Wemby has been so good and the Spurs team has been so much fun that like we forget that every single guy, this is essentially their first playoffs, including Mitch Johnson, which is like, it's almost like we're putting the criticism on them like they're a battled team that's been there time and time again and they're blowing it. It's like, this is what happens. This is why it's so hard to win an NBA Finals when you haven't been in the playoffs before.

It's hard to win it in any scenario. And I was trying to be optimistic this morning. I was thinking of, I'm trying to stay positive, and then I had a negative memory. I thought back to my Clippers team that, uh, oh No, also blew a pretty sizable advantage in that series, 2015. And, you know, you, you feel it coming when you're on the other side of it. And we're— I think we're up 20 going in the fourth quarter of, of the first game we lost, uh, at home. And the momentum can shift by, by the game. I mean, obviously by the half in the playoffs, like last night's perfect example. But, you know, it you never know how long you're going to have it. You don't want to ever let go of it, but it can shift quickly, and it does shift quickly. And the Spurs can get that, get that back. You know, they've started well every game. That hasn't been an issue. You worry about that a lot with younger teams, uh, get off to a good start, ride the home court advantage.

And okay, I got a question off that, but I, I have another positive spin zone in a second. But the question off that, the— you talk about being on the Clippers, 20-point lead blown in the playoffs. What's said in the huddle when that starts to shift? Is it like— because it felt like the Spurs for a minute there had figured out like, hey, we're not making any shots, we got to attack the basket. They're getting to the free throw line a little bit. It felt like they settled it in there. And then you have the, the Karl-Anthony Towns 3, which was insane. You have, you know, like all these things happen and it just like— it— what happened in the second half, and maybe you could tell me I'm, I'm wrong, but it felt like they just started settling a little too much for the 3-pointers and for like Wemby not going inside. It's like sometimes you just got to barrel your way inside and just get to the free throw line.

Well, in, in that 4th quarter, they were in the bonus, I think, with 8 or 9 minutes, right? You know, a lot— you have to take advantage of that. Uh, but it's, you know, the quick 3s I think were what, what really killed them down the stretch. And in that 2nd half, they shot 60-some percent in the 1st half. You got— you kind of know even when it's rolling, you know, that's— water is going to find its level. But I think, you know, some of those quick shots and get a rebound, the 3's open. Yes, that's the best time to shoot it, statistically the best time to shoot a 3, but time and score, and they're learning it the hard way.

Yeah, yeah. There was that one sequence that was like, missed 3, offensive rebound, missed 3, offensive rebound, missed 3, defense rebound. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Like, the clock— you need to be aware that each possession is actually, to a certain extent, worth points.

And every 10 seconds you run off, you know, deeper in, you get a reset, you run off 10 seconds. That all adds up to them. That's how you run the clock out. And concurrently, I swear, when the Knicks get an offensive rebound, which they're incredible at, it's like they convert it every time. Yeah, it— I can remember one off the top of my head in the series where they missed it, but like, they just do an incredible job of making teams pay when they give up the offensive rebounds, and that's one of the things they're best at.

Yeah, so, um, as a big man I want to hear your perspective on, on Wimby because we debated this on last show, whether or not Wimby was a dirty player because he's starting to like the words getting tossed around a little bit now. He plays with an edge. He's angry sometimes. But what I saw over the last few games is I think players are starting to realize that he does. He's got a temper and he's young and he doesn't necessarily know how to control that. But they'll, they'll just kind of like nudge him around, give him a little elbows, you know, just beat him up a little bit. Knowing that if you do it to him, he will eventually snap in a big way. And it's goddamn— it's easy to catch Wimby when he like pushes somebody because he's got the doll seam arms that go flying.

It's hard to control those things.

Yeah. So they'll know that he'll like— he'll flip out if you just kind of fuck with him enough. Is that— do you think that that's something about like Wimby just being young or is it— is it more than that?

I think that's part of it. I don't think he's a dirty player. I think I personally, I love the elbow in the Minnesota series. I think everybody's got a breaking point. Uh, it, it kind of reminds me when I was a kid and you're— I will, you know, you're so much bigger than the other kids and, you know, they weren't hanging on me like that by the time I got to the NBA, but you just— they beat you up, they're hanging on you, they're grabbing you, and you just, you kind of get to your breaking point. And I think as he gets older, as he matures, he'll learn how to channel that better. But I mean they're doing a lot of shit to him too. And I think a lot of that gets missed. You always— it's like getting in a fight at school. They always catch the person that retaliates. And he does have some long-ass arms.

Yeah, they always got a mind of their own.

That was my other spin zone with Wemby. I do think in Game 4 you could see it, and it's happened a bunch in these playoffs when it's only one, one day off in between. He does kind of run out of gas, and that is Like, the Knicks are trying to run him. That's what they're— you can't really beat— I think we found, like, trying to beat him up is not really working. It's you gotta run him to the point where he gets gassed, and that's when he starts to float out and become like a guard and not a 7'5" freak. Now the rest of the series, you got 2 days in between each game, so he might have his gas. And when he has it, it's like he's so dominant. You can see it almost instantly when he comes out and he has that that full tank.

He's got, he's got kind of a pep that's, that's becoming pretty recognizable, and it's instant.

It's usually like game will start and he'll be like, lob at the rim.

Well, it's— he just imparts his will so much early, right? And then, you know, I think that's a good point. He's, he's gonna have plenty of time to, to fill up the gas tank, and he— you can kind of see it when he shoots. When he's on balance and his momentum is going towards the hoop, it's either a make or it's the back rim, but it's— I mean, he's, he's too good of a shooter to sometimes have the misses that he does. But when he gets tired and he starts kind of drifting sideways or backwards, it's like anecdotally, it seems like not many, if any, of those ones go in. Right. And that usually speaks to being tired. And I mean, look, none of these guys have played this much basketball in any of their lives, this deep in the season, at least the guys for the Spurs that, that are still playing at this point. Right. Outside of maybe Cornett. So it's new to all of them, and they got to really take advantage of the rest in between, between game days because they do have that advantage of being the young team and, and, you know, having the young legs.

Yeah. When did you have the moment last night where you just kind of looked around, you're like, oh shit, the oh fuck moment?

It wasn't, it wasn't when they took the lead. I think, I think after that, uh, after Josh Hart missed the layup. Yeah. And then the sequence after that, I think that was like, oh, fuck, if we can't— like, the Garden just went. I mean, it had been fucking crazy.

Yeah. Was that the loudest you ever heard of a place?

Uh, yeah, it had to be close. I mean, it was tough because it— the first, I don't know, 36 minutes of basketball, it dead, you know. They were, they were, they were going early. They were talking shit and I was talking my shit, and then I kind of had to start curtailing that a little bit. Yeah, but, uh, no, incredible atmosphere. Um, but yeah, that— after that, after he smoked that layup and then the sequence after that, I was like, goddamn it, this is, this is just— you get that feeling where whether you'd been up 20 or many points or not, you're like, they're at home now. Brunson's got it in his hands. Alvarado's running around making fucking double Toro layups and shit.

It's like, oh boy.

Yeah. The opposite of that moment where you could sense like the, the Garden crowd kind of allowed themselves to be a little curious. They're like, huh, what's going on?

That's a great— that's actually a great description.

Yeah. That was when I think it was a Josh Hart 3 from the top.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah. And I think it might have been—

was that off a rebound as well?

I think he had shot well and it was—

he made a 3 like—

yeah, this 3, it cut the lead, I believe, to 16. Yeah. Which is crazy. Like they were— you're like, oh, that might be—

no, But that's the point. It was the 19-16, like, like, yeah, when it's just going back and forth.

But yeah, but you get, you get, depending on the league, you get under that threshold and now all of a sudden the rim gets smaller, the buttholes start tightening up, you know. It's like that, that's the point where you like, if that's why coaches always say, all right, if we can just cut it to 10 by half, we can cut it to 10, cut it to 8 by going into the fourth. That's when you know that human nature gets in you and it just— you just tighten up.

It was— I think, I think what you were talking about, PFT, I think the moment was right at the start of the fourth when it was— I think this fourth started as a 15-point Spurs lead and it might have gone to like 18 or 19. You're like, all right, this is over. And then they got it back and they're like, wait a sec. It was like about 9 minutes left.

You're like, it might have been it.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're curious.

It was a 16-point lead. They're like I don't want to say anything, but let's, let's pay attention now.

Yeah.

Oh, and that it was quick after that because they were after that. It was, I mean, we weren't even until the third quarter. Like I expect to be standing the whole time. That's what my buddy that went to game one told me or game, sorry, game three. He's like, you're going to be up the whole time. I'm like, fucking great. It sounds awesome. And it wasn't really until that point that it's just like the collective all rise.

Yeah.

I've heard in church or something.

I know that you have a deep love for Cam'Ron. And I do. I've seen him all over like some of the sports channels talking ball.

He had a cowboy hat on First Take the other day.

He did. Yeah, I saw that. What was, what was the Wu-Tang Clan concert like at halftime?

Honestly, I was out getting a beer. I didn't, I didn't hear any of the ones I was hoping for in the background.

They did their new stuff.

Yeah, it's like, check out this new shit dropping soon. It's like, nah, man, come on, Raekwon, play the hits.

He only got 10 minutes.

That is true. I guess, I don't know, I got caught up in the beer line.

Did you ever tell the story you had like a dipset room?

I did. It's now my nursery.

Oh, no way.

So what was on the wall in the dipset room back in— now the nursery?

It wasn't nothing on the wall. I had a couple pillows, a shower curtain, and then the duvet cover.

I love that. I love that's where the baby's at.

And my wife got rid of that pretty quickly when she moved in.

Yeah. What, uh, all right, so Let's go positive memories. You've been following the Spurs. You've been going to a bunch of games. How awesome was it to beat the former Sonics, now Thunder, in OKC, to watch your childhood friend who's from Seattle take down that franchise in Game 7? Because you were there, right?

It was, it was the fucking greatest. Like one of my top sports moments playing fan. I mean, everything's kind of been last minute. Buddy and I flew down there. We're like, fuck it, we gotta go. Love, shout out my wife Hannah because she's been awesome. She's pregnant right now at home and she's been telling, she's like, go, you gotta go, you know, go support your friend. So it kind of came together quickly. We didn't like book in the hotel room on the flight kind of thing. And I mean, I hate that fucking place. I hate that fucking, I hate that team. I hate that city. I have a great respect for him, and I've met friends in the front office, but it's like they did something. They brainwashed the fans down there. Like, we had multiple people telling us, why do you guys vote to let the team leave? Why do you want to keep your team? They like, they spun this fucking narrative.

They hate sports.

And like, even after they win, this 70-year-old woman's in front of me walking out talking shit to us. And it's the same thing. Why do you guys want your team to leave? It's like, oh my God, watch fucking Sonic skate.

Yeah, it's like what a, uh, a guy tells like his new wife, like, this is why I got divorced. And then they meet and then they start talking and they're like, oh shit, wait, no, he's not such a great guy. Yeah, you should go on a Mean Girl podcast and talk about it there.

Oh, they'd like to dive into that. Yeah, yeah, RIP.

No, but it was, that was pretty, it was a pretty special. And for me, I mean, bitch, His dad was a John, John Johnson's Sonic champion. Like, yeah, it's, yeah, it's in the bloodline.

Yeah. What did you have any conversation with Mitch about? Did you give him a heads up that the titties were behind him on the broadcast?

I think he's aware at this point.

It's—

he's been a man.

Quite something to see every time. They gave him a lot of camera time in that series.

Yeah. And then it was like someone, someone higher up must have made a call because all of a sudden you weren't getting those same, those same angles for the NBA Finals.

Yeah, we prepared Mike Breen for it. Are the Sonics going to come back?

I hope so. I just— within the last week, the Kraken ownership group that sounds like they're getting ready to put the bid in for the expansion added a pretty, pretty flush woman, Melinda Gates, to their crew. So I think they got their whale now and everything's in place. They got a great arena. The fans are ready and we're hoping. But yeah, we're not going to get too excited. We've been fooled too many times.

Seattle deserves it. By the way, congratulations on the Super Bowl.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Hey, that was an incredible run.

Sam Darnold, the guy, the man.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's elite.

It's been a great sports year. You've been at the forefront of bringing the Sonics back. And I do think that we're closer than ever. The only thing I could see standing in the way would be like if they say Vegas has to get their team first. I hope they don't do that.

That'd be some pretty bad by the marketing department if they let that happen. I agree with that. I don't know that that's I don't think that builds brand equity with any of the fans there.

Do you—

if the Sonics come back, or when the Sonics come back, I should say, uh, do you think there's a chance maybe get a 10-day retire-a-Sonic?

Yeah, that'd be pretty cool.

That would be cool. Could you get back? How much— how many minutes could you give a team right now? The Nets?

The Nets, uh, good 12 to 15.

Okay, I still—

I still play a little bit.

Yeah, we are, uh, we're actively looking into the free agent market right now for a backup big man in Washington. I should preface that by saying, as a Wizards stakeholder, we'd be interested to talk.

I told you earlier, I'm Wiz-curious. Yeah, I like what they're doing down there.

You should be. You should be. And I think as a season ticket holder, I think that entitles me to make one personnel move. I think that's like the extra thing that they tossed in for me. So I would, I would like to get you a tryout for the Wiz.

Yeah. Give me some time to get in shape.

Okay. Yeah. You got it. Also, congratulations on— I haven't seen you in a couple of years. Congratulations on being in a real conference now in college sports.

So that's been a tough transition.

Welcome to the Big Ten. Yeah.

We're going to be good this year. Now that our quarterback figured out he couldn't—

Yeah. The Badgers were so bad, we beat you.

So fortunately, I did not watch that game. I was playing in a golf tournament.

Oh, that's interesting.

And I sounds like I didn't miss much. No, it was terrible. Better that I didn't. Yeah, it sounded like just a sh—

I don't think we completed— we completed like one pass or something.

Yeah, I don't know. They were telling— we didn't get past midfield.

You had a great first quarter against Ohio State last year. That's true. That was a really good first quarter.

Yeah, we— I mean, listen, that, that stadium is one of my favorite stadiums to watch a game at because the, the angle's so high and if you can feel it rock. I love something about college football and you just see Husky Stadium, you're like, yeah, this is sick.

Yeah. I mean, I grew up like earmuffs going, it's my favorite. Like if you said you get one sporting event in one place, that's, that's it.

Yeah.

It's pretty great. Yeah. Are you going to go to any World Cup games there?

Yes. I got tickets as of now. I got tickets for Bosnia, Egypt maybe.

And then no love lost when those teams get together.

No, no. What a classic.

I actually know the classic rivalry we were talking earlier. You got the the Pride match. Yeah, that'll be interesting.

Yeah, we'll see how that goes. And then I got a round of 32 in July. Nice. So that could get interesting.

Nice.

It's going to be fun.

All right. So my last question, Roback question. Roback.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code take. I will have Zach ask a question, but I have a question for you for the back to the Spurs. What is said now after that? Like, is it— what, what, how do you get off the mat? Because I do think, like, the craziest part about this series is I actually am now— I went in this series being like, you know, the Knicks are better, the Spurs aren't ready. I think the Spurs are better, but they're not ready because you see Game 2 and Game 4, those are games that, like, a seasoned vet team closes and finishes and doesn't have those errors. So what do you say to try to, like, because I still think the Spurs could be in this. Like, they win Game 5, you never know.

They— I mean, another good start, but that hasn't been a problem that in any of the games of series for them. And I think you got to come beat the shit out of them at home and, and send a message that you found something, you've made an adjustment, you got something that you're gonna stick with as it goes along. Get to Game 6 in the Garden, you've already proven you can win there, and you've also proven you can lose like really badly.

Well, not really badly, just in heartbreaking fashion.

It was a 1-point game.

I don't—

horrific fashion. The good news, I don't think that the losses can't get any more heartbreaking.

Well, you lose the one that loses the series, that's more heartbreaking.

But yeah, I still think that even if that does happen, you point back to last night and you're like, that's the one that—

no, that was pretty fucking brutal.

But you know what? A good team will learn from that. And a good team will use that and actually get a lot better.

Oh, absolutely. And, and the— I mean, they've been doing it. They've been resilient all playoffs and they put themselves in positions in earlier rounds. And, you know, look at the Oklahoma City series. They won the game that they needed to at home and then they went in there and, and took down the champs. So they've proven they can do it. Now it's—

Do you still believe?

Oh, I believe.

You believe fully?

Spurs in 7.

Spurs in 7.

And Zach is a— he's a Knicks fan.

Yeah, he's going to Game 5.

Zach, go for his throat, Zach.

Oh, you got to put your headphones— Spencer, put on your headphones. Yeah. Sorry. All right.

Yeah.

Rusty boys. Zach, you got this.

What's going on, Spencer? How are you today, man?

I've been better, Zach. How are you?

I'll be full transparency. Having a great day, Spencer.

That you are.

I appreciate your time today. I was curious with the way the Spurs team— I know it's a young team, but I mean, 29 points in a playoff game. Kind of not being able to close that deal. Do you, at the end of this season, if it doesn't go the way you guys wanted it to go, or the Spurs wanted to go, I apologize, uh, do you think about maybe moving around some guys, or do you stick with who you got? Like, do you— is there any thought to maybe like, uh, they couldn't do it, got some—

I— it's tricky because, I mean, it's— everyone say like, this is the worst the Spurs are ever going to be, this their floor, they're going to keep getting better. And I don't know, I'm not a front office guy, that's I think they clearly have every piece to be able to compete, and I think in a year of growth, it's, it's a tough one because I, I don't have a straight answer for you. I, I think there's areas where they need to get better. They need to get bigger. They need to get more rebounding. Um, I think Carter Bryant is, is going to be that guy. I don't know if that's by next season or not, but, um, there's definitely things they need to address. I did. I don't know whether they have it internally or not, but, um, you better get this one.

Got it. You think maybe gotta get this one?

I, I think the league— the Knicks certainly. I think the rest of the league, it's going to be, you know, if, if the big fella keeps going how he's going, it could be— could get a little scary.

Yeah. If you were to, uh, take one part of your game and give it to Wemby, make him the total package, what would that be?

A 15-foot post-up, face-up jab jump shot.

I like that.

I think we were talking, I think Dirk, maybe less monks this summer, more Dirk.

Yeah.

I mean, I could see him doing that.

Or do the monks too. Maybe the monks to keep with the controlling the emotional maturity.

Yeah. I mean, I think the monk thing, we looked at that and we were like, oh, this guy's about to unlock. Something that no one's ever seen in terms of just like tapping into the weird— the third eye. Yeah. It's like when Uma Thurman goes away in Kill Bill and then comes back, kills fucking— kills everybody. Right. And with Wimby, I know we were discussing this. Do you think Wimby is too French or do you think he's not French enough?

I don't see— I don't think he's that French. I think he's got— I think he's got a lot of prick in him, which in the best possible way.

Yeah. Like competitor.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I love that about him. And that's why I want him to be able to, like, channel that.

He's not your traditional Western European basketball player. He plays more like a guy from the Balkans.

Yeah, that's a good point. Memes, do you have any questions for Spencer? Memes also Knicks fan.

This is mean.

What are you guys doing?

Piling on me?

I'll ask. I'll ask a friendly one. Where's the best place to pick up big old women in San Antonio?

Apparently behind the Spurs bench.

No, I think Memes is looking for bigger.

The Riverwalk.

Okay. Get on the Riverwalk. Yeah, the boys. I mean, listen, they're going game 5. The LOB is going to be in the building. They've got all their plans set.

It's going to be something that is going to be rocking. I hope they do the fiesta colors.

You like those?

I love that shit.

It looks gorgeous.

They got to go. They got to go all black out. You know, blackout. Yeah.

But then if you lose, you wear black to your own funeral.

Yeah, true.

But that's okay. Then it just becomes like goth. Like everyone's sad.

I thought that shit was kind of over.

Yeah, no, I like the fiesta colors. It's just they don't strike me. They don't strike the fear of God in your opponent.

Yeah, it's true. You kind of get a little like, oh, we're at a little party.

Kind of fun.

Yeah, I like it.

Have you hung out with the team at all? Have you been around the team?

Yeah, I mean, this last few weeks and like there's Olenek. I remember you graduated with my sister. Plumlee was my tenant in California. So The old guys I know, you know, the young guys.

Have you seen Steph Castle smile? That's a no, man.

I don't think so.

That's what I love about him.

His dad smiles all the time. Yeah, I see his dad the last couple games. He's the man.

He's such a— he, he's a— this is probably going to be a wrong comp and people will be like, this is stupid. I— he's kind of like a mini Jimmy Butler right now, where it's like he's getting to that point, like just so good defensively, gets to his spots.

Yeah, I— he's got some D-Wade.

Yeah, a little bit of that too. Like, I love his game. Yeah, yeah. Defensively, he's just like— that's, that's why Brunson is not— and I know he scored 36 on game 4, but he's like, his shooting numbers haven't been great. It's Steph Cassell's picking him up fucking 80 feet from the basket.

I don't know that there's another guy in the league that has a combination of the size that he has and the foot speed, the, the agility to be able to like beat guys to the spot take the hit in the chest and have it. Now he does get a little overzealous with— I think he feels a little froggy and he reaches from time to time. But I mean, that's an incredible ability to have, an advantage to have as an on-ball defender.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Spencer, you're the best. Long time, one of our first guys ever on the show. So we appreciate your support. You know, we celebrated 10 years, but seriously, like, congratulations.

You're one of those guys, guys.

But you were in the NBA. You're like, hey, I like these guys. It was that— that meant a lot to us. So it means, you know, you've always been a friend. So appreciate it.

Cheers to the first 10 and many more.

Yes. Thanks, Spencer. Thanks, Spencer.

Spencer Hawes is brought to you by Jose Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game, and the room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time. Suddenly, small talk escalates to laughing so hard you can barely catch your breath. That is the Cuervo effect. The signal everybody understands. A moment that anyone can join. And a good time that just grows. All you have to do is keep it Cuervo. Spencer's also brought to you by Reese's. They say everything happens for a reason, but I know everything happens for Reese's. Take how the whole world is vying for the cup right now. Is it because it's called a cup, just like a Reese's peanut butter cup? Coincidence? I think not. So be a champ. Score Reese's today because everything happens for Reese's. Reese's, the official candy partner of Barstool Sports. Everything happens for Reese's. Get yours at Hershealand.com/Reese's. Hershealand.com/Reese's. And now here's Coach Brett Bielema.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest, recurring guest, head football coach of the Illinois Fighting Illini. It is Brett Bielema in studio, who's now— I think this is your third or fourth time coming on.

I think it's three or four.

It's kind of crazy that we've— we just become legitimate friends through everything, all of our history. And like, I even this past year, I met your wife who we had the back and forth with and we've become friends. So it's great to have you here. It's great to talk football. Yeah. Even though we're— I think we're probably like 90 days out. It's still good to talk some football. Do you feel it coming?

93 days out from our opener. Okay. But we open up on a Thursday, so we're a little bit ahead of everybody else. But yeah, it's 93 days out.

Yeah. And you look great. You got the Hawaiian shirt on.

Why are you dressed like this?

You know, I think two things. First, I want to come on and be comfortable, right? So I kind of bring out my Andy Reid inner self with a Hawaiian shirt. But also just this is a little Tommy look. Tommy Bahama look. Yep. We're a Nike school, but like to rep the Tommy every once in a while.

Yeah, it's good.

It's a great looking shirt. And no spring football game for you guys, right?

We didn't. You know, I was going to pitch two things to you guys, right? Like, first, you know, the well-being of Illinois football, but I know you're into buying big things. Mm-hmm. We are putting in the largest video board in all of the world. Okay. United States, not just college football.

The biggest TV on the planet.

TV on the planet. Okay. So our old one is for sale.

How big is that one?

It's big. I don't think it would fit in your gym, but maybe like a section of it on the roof.

Maybe.

Listen, we could fit— I just bought some goalposts there.

Those— I heard that.

Yeah. So, hmm, interesting.

Now scoreboard. I mean, who has a scoreboard?

How big is this scoreboard? Because I feel like this happens every year.

Yeah, this one's huge. So we have a huge Larry Geese. We also have the Geese School of Business, which is a big school in Illinois. He also is Larry Geese Memorial Stadium now, and he forwarded us a neighborhood of $150-200 million. And I think a good portion of that is going into this new scoreboard.

Okay. TV first.

They actually recommended that we have several practices where our the scoreboard is playing because I think it's kind of the whole Cowboys big jumbotron. Yeah, like you need to look at it. Yeah.

So, so where is the, the new jumbotron going to be located?

Is it going to be like sideline or end zone or, you know, kind of a cool setup? I know you guys have been there, but like, so the basketball arena is across the street from us and then you come into the stadium and it's right in the middle of those two. Okay. So it's really cool when you're coming down. The main road into Champaign. Like, this thing is going up. I mean, just the framework is there right now. It's like ginormous. It's just absolutely ridiculous.

Okay. Well, I'm interested in maybe a piece of the old one.

The old one would be awesome.

Yeah. I like that.

Yeah. Electronics. You might want to hit them up. Yeah. I can't believe they can sell it to anybody.

Well, yeah. So what are they going to do with it?

That's what I'm saying.

This office.

Yeah.

This office.

I saw you bought the— there was some banner you bought the other day.

I'm like, You know, the Florida State—

the coach is here today.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta—

dude, you need a scoreboard.

Yeah, you gotta actually go piss in the, uh, Bills trough. I got the Buffalo Bills trough.

Appreciate it.

Yeah, you're gonna have to go do that and sign the wall. Um, all right, what was the second thing?

Well, just an overall, uh, goodwill of, uh, Illinois football, I think, would be the big—

yeah, see, here's where our friendship has to stop because, like, we are friends, but also you're— you pushed it a little too much because I—

but didn't I not give you great college memories?

You gave me great college memories, but then I had— I had the thing that I said a couple couple months ago where I was like, hey, no one from Wisconsin reached out. Since then I've had some really good conversations, got some big stuff coming with Wisconsin NIL. The very first text after the show went live was Coach Beilema being like, hey, just so you know, your money's good here. And I was like, please don't do this.

Yeah, I'm glad they responded.

Yeah, you were doing a good job.

I mean, listen, you're networking, you know, after, uh, uh We're not going to mention names or teams, but there's a certain Barstool employee that is tied into Michigan and they took one of my guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a check, right?

And yeah, I don't know if he's an employee. He owns the company, but yeah, yeah, it's partially him.

It's partially Larry Ellis. Who's to say who contributes money?

We don't know who we're talking about right now. Could be anyone.

Anybody.

Director, have you paid attention to the bill that's about to go through Congress right now? Because we just talked to a senator the other day and he kind of explained everything and it seems like they've got— it's a bipartisan deal. Yeah. So it's not going to be like left wing versus right wing or anything like that. But they've been setting this up with the help of, I guess, a lot of football coaches. And so what are your thoughts on the bill that's going through? So how it's supposed to like make things even?

One of the cool things, I'm also on the AFCA, which American Football Coaches Association. So we have actually hired lobbyists that work with Washington on certain things. So we had been privy to this quite a bit. That, that bill that you mentioned, there's a lot of really good things in it, but there's some things also that kind of go contradicting to what we're trying to get accomplished. So like anything, probably there's some good and some bad. But I think anything that could help us get some— college football is at a place, I'm sure, as you guys know, you love the game like it's at an unprecedented high. It's absolutely awesome. Players are getting paid. People are watching us more than ever. The atmosphere that we're at, whether we're going to go to 12, 16, 24, whatever it is, I think it's all positive, but there are some things that we just got to get in line, like the spending that's going on, some of the transfer rules. Like there's just some, some craziness that goes on right now that, that the NFL has some 3 good things that go on for them. They have the draft, they have a salary cap, and they have a scheduling that rotates every year based on your performance.

Those are 3 really good things that have made the NFL what it is. And I think the more we pay attention to that in college football, I think the better we'd be as well.

Yeah.

Yeah. And so do you guys have a new defense that you're putting in this year?

We did. You're a defensive guy, so. Yeah, yeah. My man Johnny Newton had 3 sacks, right? Yeah. He's going to be an unbelievable—

one-man wrecking ball.

He is phenomenal. Should have been a first rounder. You know, he broke his foot in combine prep, so that's what pushed him to the second round. But he's a phenomenal player and his little brother's on our team as well. So but I would say that when I entered the league 6 years ago, I was going into my 6th year at Illinois, we were running a defense that really only 1 or 2 other teams played in the whole league. Last year, at the end of the year, we were playing a defense that 13 other teams played in an 18-man league. So I really— Notre Dame came in and grabbed my defense coordinator, and with that, the chance to move and transition to a new defense was there. And that's why we brought in this 3-3-5, which is a really unique scheme, very unique preparation. We're the only team in our league running it, really one of the of the few in college football. So the prep for us is going to be very unique and different. And that's my main driving source.

Yeah, that's why you guys don't want to do a spring game. You don't put that on tape.

Well, it's because Big Cat's going to buy the scoreboard. We had to— we're putting in this scoreboard where there's like 20 people in the end zone every day watching practice. So we literally couldn't run a spring drive.

That's exciting stuff, though.

Yeah. I heard also you said you were talking about college football and like the changes, everything. You, you're down for 32 teams?

No, that's bad reporting.

Okay, well, I saw, I saw the headline, 32 teams. I saw that you wanted 64 teams.

Yeah, no, what I said was, uh, I think it was an On3 interview, and I said, hey, I would love to have as many teams enter the college football playoffs as humanly possible. I'm not saying 32. That's someone floated it. Exactly. 24. I, I think 24. Because here's two reasons. Everybody wants to get their you know, panties in a bunch about like what, what's going on. I think everybody has to understand, like, there is no time in college football, in my opinion, where the 16th team or the 18th team in the country could possibly win it all.

Mm-hmm.

And you look at last year, like Miami got in really the last seed and they were in this national championship game and could have won it. Right. And I just think with, with NIL, with revenue share, with, with the transfer portal, teams can literally look at Indiana, right? Yeah. Two years after a guy takes over, they win a national championship, walking away with it. So I think the more you can include— and then I would also argue, you know, the Illinois-Wisconsin game in Week 10 when maybe not everybody's paying attention, but we both are at 8 wins, we need to get to 9 and to get to 10. That game is much more important now than ever before.

Mm-hmm.

And I think it would actually enhance the back half of the schedule in viewership and in entertainment value than ever before. So I think the number is 24. Tony Pettiti, I think our commissioner is— he's 5 steps ahead of everybody else. And I just think he has seen a vision of this and I think it'd be a really good thing.

I don't love the idea of playoff expansion past where it is, but if you do it, I feel like you would have to give maybe the top 8 seeds a bye.

Yeah.

To get some competitive games in the first round. Right.

And I think 2 things that it to this point, if you have a certain ranking right in the top, I believe it's actually top 8, you would get guaranteed the second game would be a playoff game at home.

Yep.

I like that.

Which now nobody's going to sit a quarterback or a running back knowing that you could have your first 2 games, one be a bye and the other one be a home game. Like you're going to do everything you can, right, to have a playoff and to play a home game. Can you imagine Cam Brando in the third week of December?

Incredible.

It's, it's sick, right? Like, it's in— I think, you know, the, the big picture thinking, what we were, what we're struggling with, and I love everybody's opinion, you guys have interviewed quite a few of them. Like, they all want to live in 2010.

Mm-hmm.

It's 2026 for a reason. Yeah, it's a different world. The last 3 years have changed. Revenue share, the transfer portal, teams can't stockpile kids anymore, right? Like, I have 48— I have 110 players. 48% of my roster is new this year.

Year. It's crazy.

It's insane. When I was at Wisco, we would have maybe 20, 25 freshmen come in. That would be the only transition, and they wouldn't play.

Yeah, most of them.

And now we got 55 guys. Yeah, that are new.

That's nuts.

And it's, it's young guys, and it's fifth year. I got a guy, um, Jake Renfrow, who played 2 years at Cincinnati, uh, for, for Luke, and then played 2 years at Wisconsin, and now he's on my roster.

Right? Crazy is that? Yeah, that is.

And he's a multi-year starter, right? So it's just kind crazy the world we're living in now.

The expansion, does it have anything to do with the fact that you guys finished right around 24, 25 last year and the year before like 16?

Does that have anything to do with it? Probably factors into it, but I've only been there 5 years.

Okay.

Right. So I think the best is yet to come. So I do. I kind of just go back to every year. Even 2 years ago, we beat South Carolina in a bowl game. Everybody said South Carolina should have been in the playoffs 2 years ago. Now, it was a tight bowl game. Had to manage the clock right and do the right things. But if you give me 2 weeks to prepare, I'll get anybody. Like, I really believe that, right? Like, if you can get healthy, get where you need to be, and you have the right quarterback, you have the right scheme, you have the right personality, anybody can beat anybody on any given Saturday, especially if you haven't played before.

Now, I noticed too, in talking about that, you said, you know, guy went to Indiana and won it in 2 years. You didn't say his name.

Sigs. Yeah, I got all the brothers in the world, I think, you know. So I think one of the things you really like— I do like it because Here's what I do like. It's funny in our league, right? We got 18 teams, right? A lot of different personalities in that room. You know, the guy I'm probably closest to, it sounds crazy, like, and I know a lot of people are going to say, like, who's he very similar to? But like, I really enjoy, you know, I played and coached at Iowa, right? Yeah.

I really— I have a tattoo.

Yeah. He's an unbelievable coach and unbelievable guy, right where it's at. But Cignetti, the one thing that he did is he has talked the talk. Yeah. From the day he's walked it. And I like people that represent who they are every day. I think the greatest thing you can bring an organization is consistency in communication. And that guy has been the same guy every day and he communicates very, very well. Right. And I think that's a part that I really respect in what he does. And obviously nobody can— nobody can even question what he did this year. Yeah. Just truly special.

Yeah. Your game last year against Indiana, what happened at the very start? I know that the score got out of hand at the end, but like the first quarter, Indiana was famous for just having just— they would just get, you know, incredible leads really early in the game. So how did that game start?

Well, it started off very bad for us. So we kind of exchanged punts and then we went to line up and punt and they blocked our punt for a touchdown. So that started. But then we threw a touchdown right away. We had a big strike loop, hit a big pass. And so it was kind of a back and forth game in that first quarter.. But then second quarter on, it just turned into a landslide. I told my coaches on Wednesday, actually Tuesday after our first practice on Tuesday afternoon, I said, hey, these coordinators, in my opinion, in 18 years or 17 years at that point of being in this business, they know what you're going to do before you know what you're going to do. I think those two guys offensively and defensively are the best I've ever seen in all of college football. JMU. And exactly. And they did it at JMU. They've been together a long time. They don't leave, I think, for a reason, right? Like they like what they're being told, how they're being told what to do, and, and the guy that's leading them. So eventually they'll become head coaches.

But I think their coordinators are extremely special.

Have you, have you had to make any adjustments or have you taken anything from what Indiana has been able to do?

Absolutely. We compete against them, I swear. There was a tight end a year ago that transferred from Wisconsin and he was just kind of a role player there. But he had actually been to my youth camp when I was a coach there. His dad sent me a picture of him when he was in fourth grade and I tried to get in on him.

And what would that text look like? He's like, he looks like he could play for you, coach.

Oh, well, so I remember because he actually had— I believe he might have had another team's jersey on at my youth camp. He wasn't going to go. And it was kind of— I remembered it when it popped in my head. Right. And then dad sent it to me and we tried to get on him. We offered him a little bit of money, but the number he got offered there was quite a bit more. And he got drafted, I believe, in the fourth round this year. Right. They have really done a good job, in my opinion. So the O-line coach there, Bob Bostad, was my O-line coach when I was at Wisconsin. They've built the program from, from the foundation level. Like, nobody goes in and says, hey, look at this second-story bathroom I got, or this, you know, they always build on the foundation. And that's what Indiana did. They built on the foundation of O-line and D-line play, and they obviously built around it. And that's what made them what they are.

And it's nice to see that, like, the Big Ten, you know, I'm not like a conference over everything guy.

I love that question. Today was awesome.

Yeah, yeah. Well, he— listen, Lane, let's talk about that. Lane's kind of living in the past a little bit where it's like they keep talking about how, oh, the SEC is so much stronger, it's so much stronger. The Big Ten, yeah, I get it, it's 18 teams. There's a couple teams at the bottom that have not been great, Wisconsin being one of them, but there's some really good teams in, in the Big Ten. And I feel like that it has evened out a lot more and you can see it with who's winning the national titles.

I think perspective is everything, right? And I'm sitting here as a 56-year-old dude and I like, I know what I've learned in my 55 years on this earth, right? And the year 56 is based off of what I've learned. And I remember I was at Wisconsin. We were going back, if you remember, when they were dividing the teams into leaders and legends.

Oh yeah. I admit I have a sweatshirt that is leaders and legends. It's just, no, it's just the The legends. It's just the map of the Big Ten West because I miss those days.

So we're sitting in a Big Ten meeting and I'm pissed because a 25-year study showed that the two winningest teams in the Big Ten at that point was Ohio State and Wisconsin. But all they want to do is align Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State, Nebraska. And I'm pissed. And Albie grabbed me. He's like, dude, don't worry about it. You can't change 50 years of living, right? You can't change 50 years of history or 100 years of history. Those are the 4 teams that have won national championships. Everybody thinks they're the teams, even though we've won more than everybody else. You can't change people's opinions. I think that carries into where we are today. It's, it's hard for people, even for me at Illinois, 2 of the most, the most successful years in Illinois football history, right? Over 100. We played Michigan 2 years ago, beat them on our turf, 2 ranked teams. It was a 100-year anniversary game.

Mm-hmm.

It's hard for people to grasp that that happened.

Yeah.

So I think it's hard for people to when people talk about the mid-level, the lower level, like we beat South Carolina last year, we beat Tennessee this year. Tennessee, 2 U's left in the season, is in the middle of like national championship talk. Yeah. And we beat them in the Music City Bowl, but no one wants to remember that, right? So it's going to slowly take time, but eventually common sense takes reality. And I think that'll happen.

Yeah. I mean, the, the best case for this was the Rose Bowl this year where we were joking before the game. We all, the whole Gambling Cave bet on Indiana because we're like, if they just reverse the, the helmets here, like Alabama's just getting so much credit for being Alabama of Nick Saban's Alabama. That's not what they are anymore. And Indiana is being treated like Indiana of old, and that's not what they are. And it's just, yeah, the perception.

It's hard for people to change what they've learned. Yeah, it's true. I mean, we all go up to a red light and stop.

Mm-hmm.

Like if we flip the rules.

I like that.

Yeah. And today, what if we just stop?

What if we just stop?

Stopping.

You know how bad we would— Chicago traffic would be.

Oh yeah, right. Well, no, but I wouldn't get any of the red light camera. I mean, I pay so much money to the city of Chicago for how many red light cameras.

The way they get you here is crazy.

It's nuts.

It's not even because it's a— it's an important cultural thing in Chicago to like 3 cars make that left after it turns red. And then if you— if you're the 3rd car, you get that ticket every time.

I'm not even running red lights. I'm just getting like, you know, the little end of my car is—

you guys have some anger.

Issues. Listen, you should see. Yeah, it's not a very good amount of tickets I get. It's crazy.

It's nuts.

Yeah. It's hard to change the way people think.

Yeah. So a couple of things from that Lane interview I wanted to get your opinion on from the Big Ten perspective. Is there a Big Ten coaches group chat? You guys have a text thread?

There probably is. I know there probably is, but there's also kind of all these little sub chats too. Like, so PJ Fleck, right? So PJ and I are really close. Like, he'll hit me up with a row the boat and I'm like, you know, pissed off, right? Like, I don't need to hear that. But I love PJ because he is who he is every day. Yeah, right. Like, he's a true, genuine dude. But I would say there's more, you know, I was in the SEC, right? So I was at Arkansas from— come from Wisconsin. I just think this league, there's a band of brothers that is really strong. And I think they'll sacrifice for what's important to them, to the sacrifice of the whole group. And I do think that's alive and real. But But yeah, we're definitely not. I think so. Mark Stoops, who's a buddy of mine, it was that he and I played together at Iowa. He used to share with me some of the things that were on that SEC group chat with Lane.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think also Mark Stoops was on the group chat.

Okay.

Yeah. That's another coach confirmed.

Yeah.

Yeah. We're trying to get to the bottom of who all is, who's not on that group chat.

Well, I don't think he is anymore. He's living in a condo down. He took his $40 million from Kentucky and took off.

Probably happy with that. And then the other one is, I think a big biggest reason for some of Lane's success has been early morning group yoga programs. Yeah. Is that something that you've considered implementing?

Uh, probably about 0.4 seconds.

Okay.

Yeah, that's, that's the correct— yoga tag. There's a reason I got a Tommy Bahama loose fit on.

Yeah, we tried to do it.

You listen, you look like—

I saw it.

It was the worst thing ever.

We like Lane, and, uh, he, he's become a friend, and we wish for them to have all the success.

Phenomenal dude.

If you put you in that Tommy Bahama and Lane with his shirt off at the hot yoga and you say, who's the football coach? It's a blowout, Lane. I'm sorry. Not close. It's a blowout.

I know.

I know this guy Sawyer's going to be watching this. You could send him the clip.

It's just a fact, you know, a blowout. So Lane was at Lane and Sark were at USC with Pete Carroll, and I was the defense coordinator at Kansas State, the Co-DC, and we beat them that year. So that was the only game I think they lost that year. And then their quarterback, Carson, was it, you know, won the Heisman. Who played— so this was 2000, what, 2001, maybe 2002?

Was that Carson Palmer?

No, guys, Carson Palmer. He won the Heisman, right? Yeah. And runner-up was the quarterback at Iowa. But that year, an agent brought us together for dinner that January at a coaches convention. And I sat down to dinner with Sark and Lane, and that was in our younger years. Right. And the thing I've always been able to appreciate about Lane is like on game day, there's nobody better. Like, I watched their film just to see how he attacks and calls the game. It's really— he's an incredibly gifted mind, obviously. Really, really cool person. I get it why players go there. Now, sometimes the money helps. Yeah, but like, he is an incredibly talented coach and a great visionary. I think he's really good for our game.

Yeah. I mean, you guys have a little budding rivalry going with USC now. I think that game last year was insane.

Yeah.

From your perspective on the sideline, what was the range of emotions you you felt there?

Well, you know, we fumbled 2 times inside the 5-yard line and we won a walk-off field goal. And it was, it was a game that I thought we could win going into it. You know, we do spring scouting reports, summer scouting reports. The more I watched them, we hadn't played them. I thought we could play some downhill football, a little old school Wisco way that we used to play, which is kind of what happened. And then, but their quarterback was electric. They had a wide receiver that was unbelievable. And then, but I knew when they scored, I thought we could go down and manipulate the game and we had a walk-off field goal. Our quarter— our field goal kicker, A&M bought him, but he's no longer with us. But he was one of the best in the country. We had 2 walk-off field goals last year, so I knew if we could kind of manage it the right way, we get that W. And that was a big one for us.

How hard is that going into the transfer portal knowing like, hey, there's guys I love here that someone's going to offer them so much money that we don't have?

Yeah, well, a year ago everybody was kind of on the same playing scale. Right now it's kind of become a little bit indifferent. But, you know, You know, David Alano, he's a Chicago kid here. I loved him. First school to offer him. He's at our camp, came to us. I remember when his dad called me and told me what was going on. His dad was very emotional. Like, I didn't want to see this kid go right from Illinois. But, you know, for him, he wanted certain things and wanted a bigger name brand value. So that's part of the thing I go to early. It's hard for people to change their perspective, right? But if you're a kicker and you kick well in Memorial Stadium, East Memorial Stadium at Illinois, one of the hardest stadiums in the country to kick in. He was a 95% field goal kicker. I'm like, dude, going into your senior year, this is exactly what you want. Yeah, you got to get kids to understand what's ahead of them, not what's behind them. Right. And, you know, for us, you know, there's 138 Division I football teams going into this football season.

I've had a boatload of guys go to the NFL and have not just get invited, they stay. Right. And I think that's a big part you got to point out to them.

And it's smart strategy by you to be welcoming to kids being able to transfer, because I think there are some coaches that try to resist it and it's like, like you see when you— when I'm sure you use it as part of your recruiting where you're like, hey, when— if, if at some point we get to get you to a point that you can then go make more money somewhere else, I'm not going to be making a stink of it. Like, we want the best for you.

I think communication is— like I said it earlier, but I preach this to my coaches and my players. The greatest thing you bring in an organization is communication and consistency. And communication is a two-way street, just like we're talking. Like, I'm hearing you, you're hearing me, and we work off each other. But consistent, you got to be the same guy every day, right? And I always say, like, you come in and tell me you're going someplace else. I'm going to try to put why I should keep you, but I'm going to end it with a hug. Like, there are so many times I've hugged a guy crying when a guy's leaving and watch them. Now, a lot of them haven't gone on and had success. You know, last year, Luke Altmaier, who we had on here a year ago with you, right? Like, Luke was offered almost $2.5 million more than we were paying him. To leave us. And then we end up playing that team in a bowl game.

Yeah.

And beating them.

Yeah.

And now he's with the Detroit Lions. And I promise what he went through and what he learned from us the last 3 years is going to help him make success in the NFL.

Yeah.

If he didn't live through that, he probably wouldn't have the success he's having now. And I think that's a really cool thing.

Yeah.

You ever pitch that to a player? Like, I'm probably the best hugger in the Big Ten. I think you might be the best hugger. I'm thinking through the list of other coaches. Lane's not a good hugger. Lane's not a good hugger.

No.

Yeah, Boney Sig's not a good hugger. I think he just doesn't— no contact.

He doesn't like being touched. I personally haven't ever strived to be that.

I think you might be.

I'm not afraid of it. Yeah, I'm not afraid.

Did you consider telling your kicker like, hey, if you stick around, maybe we can give you the scoreboard that we're getting rid of?

I had not at that point thought of that. And but we tried to come up with a lot of things to keep him. Yeah, but it definitely wasn't in the card of tricks.

You just offer everybody the scoreboard just to take it off your hands.

Just to take it off.

Yeah.

You're singing the stretch at the Cubs game tonight. We're going to run this probably Friday, but are you scared of throwing out the first pitch?

I am. I am scared.

Oh, I was. I was just busting your balls.

My father was a really good baseball player back in the day. Cubs, Sox, Cardinals all came to my dad's farm and my grandfather wouldn't let him do it.

Wait, that's— hold on. Crazy story because this is awesome. This is like something that you hear.

So my name is Brett Arnold Beilman. My dad's name is Arnold Beilman. Okay. Every person I ever met from my dad's childhood told me about how great a baseball player he was. I sucked at baseball. I was the worst.

So he's got— he's living on his farm and They're like, what, high school baseball or what is it?

Yeah, actually, I think it might even been like church league.

Okay.

Back in the day, my grandpa wouldn't let my dad play football, so he played baseball and was really good at it. And I know a couple organizations came and wanted to, you know, sign him and do him, but my, my grandfather at the time wouldn't let him.

So that's crazy.

Yeah. And it's— my dad is an incredible dude. He actually went to the University of Illinois for about 2 weeks and dropped out because he's in love with a young woman by the name of Marilyn Morse, who thankfully he chased her because that became my mom. Okay. If that didn't connect, I may not be here. Yeah. So, but so I suck at baseball. Terrible gym class back in the day. First guy picked and everything other than baseball. And so with that being said, like, I've been asked several times to throw out the first pitch. I'm like, hell no. Yeah, but I can sing. I know I got a little. Yeah, yeah, a little.

So you got to throw out the first pitch sometime.

I know, but I, you know, so I had a kid, Pat Farrell, throughout last week versus the Sox. And we got Joe Barnes throwing out tonight. And I called Pat last week. I said, are you nervous? He's like, he goes, I go, you know why I've never thrown out the first pitch? And he's like, why? He goes, because I suck. Like, I don't want to go out and have failure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to do a little duet tonight with Matt Bailey, our safety, who's a really good player.

Okay.

That'll be good.

Are you going to toss in the let's get some runs?

I'm going to throw in at the back end. Let's get some runs.

Yeah. Okay. That's good.

You got to make sure I do a little Harry Caray rendition. Yeah. Who's throwing The first pitch, he's got to go from the rubber.

You got to let him know. We're going to rubber. Cannot go early. We have a little competition. Both of them were D-line socks. D-lineman Pat Farrell, Joe Barna, two really good players. We beat Barna on Wisco. You'd hate to hear that. Okay, really got down to us and Wisco, but thankfully he's playing for us.

We're gonna start it with end of one, end of two, and a one. All right, yeah, you're good to go.

Yeah, you got this.

Let's get some runs.

All right, so last thing I want to talk to you about, because like I said, it's crazy we have become friends, and, and it was great when we went— I think it was the USC-Illinois game. I finally met your wife. Yeah, who I had tweeted karma at a bunch of times after you left. It was good.

She said to say hello.

She goes, yeah, it was like 10 years in the making. It's like, hey, this is all good. But one of the things we bonded over is our love for Chili's, the restaurant. So what— give me your favorite, like, Chili's order. What's your order? You texted me last night. Yeah, literally from a Chili's being like, check this out.

It's like, can you believe Chili's in Champagne? But I don't think I've ever been there.

Yeah, the text was literally like, can you believe this? Look at me, I'm in a Chili's.

I'm like, yeah, man, I can't wait. Which—

we're in New Lenox.

Yeah, that's a good Chili's.

Very good Chili's. Yeah. Yes. I would say start off definitely. I'm a Southwestern egg roll guy. Yeah.

Oh, okay.

You know, like, you don't go to Chili's and get what everybody gets.

Yeah.

But you'll get chili fries.

I think a lot of people get the Southwestern egg rolls. I don't think that's not like a super exotic thing.

Yeah, I like it. Are you getting the bottomless chips to start with? Okay. Yeah, because I was to say, I say bottomless chips before I sit down.

Yeah.

Like, as they're walking me to my seat, I'm like, hey, just so you know, I'm going to want the box.

We only had about a 30-minute window.

Yeah, that's what you got to get going on.

Yeah.

Okay. All right. So what else?

If I was ordering an entree, I would probably go like the trio combo.

Yeah.

Little quesadilla.

Yeah.

Eat your food, Tina. Right. Like, you get a, get a quesadilla whenever you can. Probably the jalapeño sausage.

Okay.

And ribs.

Yeah, that's good. The boneless, the boneless buffalo wings I always go with. I think they're very good at Chili's. I go chips, salsa, keep it coming with queso, and then I'll go the fajitas trio.

12 or 16 ounce beer with it.

I usually go— I usually try to not get drunk because I'm just trying to drink. I'm trying to eat all my chips. Yeah. So I'll go water a lot of times because it's like, I got— I got to work. I got to focus on my chips.

I like doing the margarita, the famous margarita to start. And then, yep, yeah, the big bowl. Then to clean it up, if it, you know, I've got enough time, then you get the big boy beer to kind of wash it all down on the side. What about dessert?

I don't think I've ever had a dessert at Chili's.

Oh, wow. They have a good chocolate lava cake.

They do. Yeah. I know I don't look like, but I'm not a big dessert guy.

I'm not going to say anything about that because listen, I struggle with my own things. But how, how are you not a dessert guy? What are you talking about? I've never really liked sweets.

I've never really like, you know, I'm not a candy guy. Oh man. I've chewed like 3 sticks of bubble gum in my entire life.

Like, I'm not.

Is that a real stat? I swear.

I hate things that stick to my teeth.

Have you ever—

360 bubblegum.

Have you ever blown a bubble in your whole life?

I— not that I'm aware of. I'm sure when I was little, maybe, but that's why I'm just not a big gum guy.

All right. So no, like, you're not eating ice cream or anything?

I'm not going to turn down a little salted caramel ice cream. Okay. Occasionally. But like, yeah, it's not my—

this is where our friendship has just ended. We've made all this progress and now it's over. Like, this is crazy.

Yeah, I don't know. I just never really— You know, grew up in a Dutch family background. So we had raisins and rice, which is a big, like, Dutch dessert.

Yeah. Yeah. It sounds disgusting. Yeah, I know. I'm aware of it.

Raisins and rice.

Raisins and rice. It's kind of like, you know, there's some of that rice pudding that people—

Yeah, yeah.

It's a little bit like that, but it's very unique and different. I promise you, like, nobody ever thinks of it. And then we also had popcorn and milk. We'd have popcorn and pour milk on it. Like, that was a big—

What?

This is the most Midwestern thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah.

I'm not saying it was great, but I think it was cheap and it was good and it was easy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is— that's a very— that's a very football coach meal.

Popcorn and milk. Yeah, I love it. All right, well, our last question, Roback question. RHOBACK.com promo code TAKE, 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. ROBACK.com promo code TAKE. I don't know if you met Zach yet. Zach is in the booth.

How are we, Coach?

How we doing?

Zach's the man. He's the newest member. I think the last time you were on was maybe before Zach. Zach, because it's been about a year.

I loved his interview with Bill.

Yes, yes, Zach.

Yes, yes, fantastic.

Yes. So go ahead, Zach.

Coach, great to see you today. Appreciate you for your time. Uh, I did see that you grew up on, on a hog farm. Yes. Has there ever been any thought to bringing the team down to maybe instill some discipline? Like, if things ever get out of hand, like, well, we can go down to the farm and we can really show you how things get done.

I would not trade in the way I was raised for anything. I grew up on a farm, 2,500 pigs, You know, a lot of times we would get on the bus at 7:30. I would get up at 5:30 and go do chores for an hour, hour and a half. We never missed my dad in my 18 years and then 2 years into college, 20 years and never taken a day off until he went and watched us play in the Rose Bowl. So I think the things that I learned, right, you never take a day off. If you do anything worth doing it right, because there is a day where my brother and I, we want to go fishing. So we were building a fence that we kept in like 50 pigs and we, we were supposed to put 5 horseshoe nails on every fence and we started just doing one at the bottom, one at the top. And the fence looked great until you put all the pigs in it. And then we came in on a Saturday morning. I remember there was pigs all over our farm and we're like, what the hell?

Da da da da.

It's because we cut a corner and it looked good. Until it really had to work, right? Yeah. And I always go back to that moment, like everything that I do as a football coach, I want it to be intentful, intend, you know, intended to have a result of what we wanted to do. I never cut a corner. I think our guys— I've never been a blue blood type program, even when we were Wisconsin, Illinois, we're winning as big. I've never really fit in at one of the blue bloods because I like to, you know, put in an honest day's work to get an honest day's result. And I think that that part to your point, is something I believe I instill every day. I've never taken our guys to the pig farm. There was a moment in my college career I'll never forget. Like, so when pigs have baby pigs, they have about anywhere from 8 to 12, right? And I had 4 buddies come back. I was at the University of Iowa and had 4 buddies come back for a weekend and a pig was having babies and she was struggling. I could tell.

And there was a pig that was dry, which means that she hasn't had one in a while. You need to help her out. So I just jumped in. Put your hand up in there and pull the pig out. And we had a kid, Teddy Bellister, who's from Green Bay, Wisconsin, city kid. And he literally was like 6'5", 320 pounds. And he almost fainted. And I went in there and grabbed like 4 in a row and pulled them out. And for me, that's all I ever knew. And those guys are like, like all of them were just blown away. But I always tell our coaches, right, like when you get a freshman coming in the building, They only know what they know. They only know what they've experienced. If their parents taught them to be 5 minutes early is being early or 5 minutes late is being early, that's all they ever know. Right? So you have to really take— that's the true art of today's football is you got to have 110 kids that think the same way. And to get guys to do that is a really special trait.

Underrated part of that story is you referred to a kid from Green Bay, Wisconsin as a city kid. Yeah, that's a good point. City kid. That's a great— he's a beast on the concrete jungle of Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Wisconsin. It's a great defensive drill, like teaching how to strip the ball. Like, just reach into a hog and just pull it.

Yeah, yeah, they literally almost fainted. It was hilarious.

Oh, that's awesome.

But that's all I ever do.

Yeah, Zach, good question. You had a follow-up or anything else?

Uh, that was all, uh, but I can't pivot to a follow-up. That's cool to you? Yeah, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, this, this one we're gonna, we're gonna jump off the farm real quick if that's okay. Absolutely. I'm, as a consumer of, of college football, I hear so much about the NIL stuff, coach. What, what had to change in your process in recruiting? The bit like, what was the biggest part? Like, not the little part, but what was like the big thing that you didn't feel right about that you had to drill home?

Well, first off, you know, the, the perspective that we mentioned earlier, right, is 2026. You have to forget everything you've ever learned. Like, I remember in my senior year, we played a big rivalry game against Iowa State, and I told a coach that was at Iowa State, it's been a real pleasure kicking your ass the last 5 years. I really enjoyed it. You've been a real prick. I got annihilated, right?

Like, just—

they're threatening to suspend me. Like, I was a captain. I was pretty good kid. Never been in trouble. Coach Fry brought me in and he sat me down. He's like, he goes, hey, you can't— we all know he's a prick. You just can't go around saying it. I'm like, process. And a donor sent me— a big Iowa fan sent me a $100 bill. I'd never seen a $100 bill in my life. I literally took it in and turned it into compliance office because I was afraid I was going to get in trouble. I could have done so much with that $100,000. And now I tell guys as coming in as high school players, I'm like, hey, we're going to pay $100,000, right? And like, it took me 10 years of coaching before I got paid $100,000. I was a good football coach. And now these kids are getting this money coming in, which is awesome. I love it. But I think we're setting them up for failure.. Right. So like one of these kids that, you know, makes $100,000 his first year, $150,000 his second year, $350,000, and then his senior year he makes $1.5 million.

Right. And maybe he makes it in the NFL, maybe he doesn't. And he's got to go to work for, for National Rental Car for $85,000 and he can't process it.

Right.

That's the thing that's coming. Right. And so I think that's the part for me as a coach. Hey, it's just relative to the moment we're in. I think the other thing that kind of misleads people right now is there's a lot of people that are paying kids to be great. I don't think that's the right approach. I think you pay kids that have been great. And just because you pay somebody a lot of money doesn't mean they're a great player. Just like when I hire coaches, I don't pay someone a lot of money to be a great coach. I pay them because they're a good coach, right? Like, if you're betting on the come, it may never happen, right? So I think that's a part that college football has to really understand and process.

Yeah, right.

Yeah. A lot of expectations on 18-year-olds.

Like, it's crazy.

Yeah, it's nuts.

And then, you know, you throw in, you know, all the social media things that can come out of it. Right. And the way these kids got to handle things, like kids are no different now at 18 than they were in, you know, 2000. But the access that they have to people and the effects that that can have on our kids is devastating. And you guys have money all the time. Like you have a lot of great coaches, but there's a lot of coaches are all about them. Yeah. And I would just tell you, like, for me, like, I'm very blessed. I'm very fortunate in what I get paid and what I do. I do it more for now the reaction to see these 18-year-old kids that turn into 22-year-old NFL guys. Yeah, like that's why I love doing what I do. And, you know, my kids are obviously a huge part of our process now, but I think the world has really changed in that regard. And, you know, it's a me, me, me world. And unfortunately, there's a lot of coaches that take advantage of that moment and it's all about them. And, you know, I see them on your guys' shows all the time.

Like it just eventually the truth will set you free. Yeah. And I think that's the part that, that'll never change. You guys are great at what you do. You're kind of on the cutting edge of all this thing of what, what, you know, Dave saw it, you guys followed it. And it's just a world that you just got to stay ahead of the moment you're in. So I think that's a big part of it. But unfortunately, a lot of people take advantage of those moments.

Yeah. Yeah, that's well said. Well, Coach, always great having you on. Always great seeing you in person. The shirt is awesome. Best of luck singing the stretch.

And until next time, appreciate it very much. Thank you very much.

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Okay, before we get to Fyre Fest, we've got a very special guest in studio. It's Hank's dad. Mr. Lockwood is here. He has, uh, what's your third or fourth appearance? Fourth. Fourth appearance.

Happy belated birthday, by the way. Yeah, thank you.

Yes, uh, you were here for Hank's birthday, which was yesterday, right?

Uh, no, Hank's birthday is Saturday.

Okay. All right.

As we've said.

Yeah, some people have, have, have screwed that up, but you are here. Uh, we are not, we're not officially starting Mount Rushmore season, but you are a big fan of the Mount Rushmore season. And you have done 3 of them, 3 of the drafts with us. So we figured let's just do a tune-up. Let's do a little stretch before we run. We don't want to get injured. Tune-up at Mount Rushmore where we go me and PFT versus the Lockwoods versus the Booth, just to get us in the feel. You ready?

Love it. All right, we'll send off match before Mount Rushmore.

Yes. And, uh, it's a friendly. Yeah, it's a friendly. We're doing a friendly. Yeah, preseason. And we are going to do the Mount Rushmore nonalcoholic drinks. And just so we're clear at the start, because of some of our sponsors, soda is— we're not going to do specific sodas. Just soda is a pick that is available.

And sports drink.

And sports drink.

And sports drink. Yes. OK, who's going first?

We got to figure out numbers.

Why don't we go— why don't we start with the Booth? We'll go to Hank Booth, Lockwood's, and me and PFT. Okay. All right. All right.

All right. We're going to start with soda.

Okay. All right. Good pick. Good pick.

Way to start.

Way to start.

Just one of them.

No, we're just going with soda. I would say that my two favorites right now are Pepsi and then Mountain Dew. But those— soda in general is going to be our one.

One good. What time of day you like to drink soda? What's your favorite time to drink soda?

I like to have two during— on a plane. Yeah, that's my favorite.

Yup.

Time to drink soda.

Yup. Okay. Good pick. All right.

Lockwood's.

Lockwood's. One, one. Much discussed today.

We're going to go with milkshake.

Ah, wow. Okay. I actually texted Big Cat milkshake. Yeah, I thought it was a stroke of luck. I didn't think you guys would have it, but I thought we would save it for later because it's a controversial decision.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Why is it controversial?

And so I thought some people might say that it's not a drink.

It's more of a— ice cream.

100%.

They serve it to you in a cup with a straw.

It's always on the beverage menu.

Yeah.

That's the place you go.

You get a lot of beverages with spoons in them.

Not a spoon. Milkshakes don't come with spoons.

Milkshakes do come with spoons.

Some do.

Some don't.

Most don't.

It's a drink.

PFT, I think they just screwed up the whole draft because I think we just go 1 and 3.

1-3.

1-3. 1-3. Let's— you know what? The first pick is the easiest pick in the entire world because I don't know if you guys could exist without it. How has water not been picked?

Water's the thing we drink the most.

Oh, I'm sorry, you know what, don't drink water anymore, see what happens.

No, I mean, you need it, but it's boring.

Okay, okay. I recall Hank being a big fan of the ocean. I recall Hank being a big fan of being on boats.

Have you ever—

you don't drink the ocean.

Uh, but it's good.

You can't.

You actually cannot.

You actually can. It drives you insane.

You would die.

Yeah, but you can do it.

It drives you insane, probably because because it tastes so good. Yeah, that you're like, oh my God, I'm— I feel like I'm crazy now.

If you— if I said to you, you can't drink— what, like, if I said this was non-alcoholic drinks you could jump into— hold on, if I—

water would be the first pick.

If I asked you right now, and let's be true, Serum, you, you can't drink one thing for the rest of your life, soda or water, which one are you picking? You can't say even this one thing for the rest of your life. It's not water. I, I—

it's not—

it's not non-alcoholic drinks you're stuck on an island with.

It's the one, one non-alcoholic drink.

We're doing— we're doing thought experiment.

No, it's also delicious.

It's good. It's quenching. You need it. First thing you do when you brush your teeth in the morning, you need water to do that too.

You don't drink it.

And you cook food, you need water to do that.

Yep.

You don't drink it.

Oh, you guys are—

oh, you want to take a shit? Try shitting without water, buddy.

You guys, your body is 90% water. Do you hate yourselves?

You do. We don't—

it's— you guys are miscon— like, you're— no, non-alcoholic drinks, things that you drink. It's— this is— but it shows the the wide range.

Water is a 5-tool player. Water's everything. It does everything.

It literally— it separates us from every other planet in the world, universe, galaxy, whatever. Maybe it's a good, functional, boring pick. Yeah. I mean, oh, OK. You guys picked ice cream.

Yeah. Hey, what's that first word? Yeah.

Is that— you like ice cream?

I love ice cream. It's not a drink. It's a food.

It's a delicious drink.

You need water. It's the building blocks of ice cream.

Yeah. All right. So the second pick is just as easy. Coffee. Done. Those are the two things you need. You need water, you need coffee.

But they're not coffee.

You're going to shit on coffee. Essential.

Like, I love drinking coffee. I need to drink coffee, but it doesn't stop because it tastes good.

Some coffee—

you said nonalcoholic drinks. I'm sorry. Did you say drinks that you like that taste good?

I mean, that's—

yeah.

No, we're picking the essentials for everyday activity.

Did you know that you can—

it'd be like if we did alcoholic drinks, you pick Malort because it's like high alcohol.

You didn't You didn't say the Mount Rushmore tastiest non-alcoholic.

The water is not more high alcohol than most other shots.

Did you say the tastiest non-alcoholic drinks or non-alcoholic drinks?

I just figured, I assumed that was implied.

Why was that implied? Why would that be implied?

Because the Mount Rushmore.

Of drinks, yeah. Non-alcoholic drinks, coffee and water. Coffee and cupcakes. By the way, Golden Mug still going on. One last day. We're giving away 15 winners this time. Everyone gets a plus one. We're going to a rooftop. In Wrigleyville for a night game, Friday night game. You come to the office and then all Barstool Chicago will be there. So go buy right now, StellaBlueCoffee.com. If you buy the ready-to-drink cans, it's 10 times the entries.

Did you know that for the Enlightenment, when we had scientific advances, mathematic advances, cultural advances, economic advances all across the world, that was due in large part to the widespread adoption of drinking coffee? Mm-hmm. And people having caffeine in their diets.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Pretty good.

No, it's not tasty.

It can be tasty. So the canned drinks, the canned Cell Blues are tasty.

Thank you.

Podcast would not exist without coffee. I guess that's just a fact.

All right. What do the Milkshake Boys have next? Steak? I mean, this is an easy pick.

Come back around. We're going to go with a smoothie.

Oh, okay. You guys aren't even drinking anything.

You just have food that's been in a blender.

This is—

no, this is—

this is just—

you need everything.

Every drink you have is just blended.

This is— yeah, you can get, you can get protein, you can get everything that you need. It's bigger than just a drink.

You guys are—

how much protein does water have in it?

Actually, a shitload. You should actually look it up. It does.

We should invent protein water.

It's a great pick.

Smoothie and milkshake.

Smoothie milkshake. It's like, yeah, you took food, but like after it's been in a blender.

All of our listeners who don't have blenders are like, who are these guys?

Okay, Booth Boys, we're going to take lemonade.

Good pick. Nice pick.

That's a good pick.

Unlike smoothie and milkshake, very refreshing.

And then we're going to follow up with its counterpart. We're going to go iced tea.

Yeah, we were going to do that if it came back around. So great job.

Yep.

Good pick.

Great.

They're both great drinks on their own. And then when you mix them together, it's a fantastic drink.

You guys could have taken either one in either order. What made you take lemonade before?

Uh, I just told Zach to take— I said we're going to go lemonade, iced tea here. Just—

you can—

that's actually a question for Zach.

Zach, reverse alphabetical order.

Got it.

Yeah.

As you do.

Nice job. All right. What do you guys got?

Hold on. We're collaborating.

Mm-hmm.

I like—

oh, just going to slow it down, huh?

Gravy.

Yeah, and actually, not actually gravy, you're talking about pasta sauce. All right, uh, we're gonna go with our third pick, milk.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I mean, you, you, your other two picks need it, so yeah, everyone needs it.

Build strong bones.

You don't want to do like oat milk or something?

All right, I think, I think we should go, I think we go maybe 8, 5, 5, 8. I like 5, 8, or 13, or 7 and 8 too. Look at 13 though.

I don't think we go 13. I think we already got that.

Okay, let's go, uh, 8 and 5.

7 or 5?

I think we go 8, 5.

Okay.

All right. Chocolate milk.

Chocolate.

We're taking chocolate. Anyone would rather drink chocolate. If you have a choice between regular milk and chocolate milk, you take chocolate milk.

That's a real drink, unlike milkshake, which is ice cream. Chocolate milk. All right, you want to say it?

Yeah, uh, then wait, which one are we doing now?

I forgot. It's either 5 or 7. 7 is fun. Do you want to be fun?

Yeah, let's be fun.

All right, we'll take Capri Suns. You got a problem with that? There's not enough.

There's never enough.

Yeah, it always leaves you wanting more.

Yeah, it's true.

And punching the hole is one of the best things in the world.

Yep.

And you can turn into a cell phone.

And if you're an LSU Tiger, you can turn into an alcoholic. Drink. Remember that? Remember that?

Yeah.

Oh yeah. LSU. I swear to God, this guy had probably 300 Capri Suns just sitting out in a cooler. And he was like, you want one? I was like, what? And he's like, oh no, dude, we put vodka in every single one of these. It's like, okay, yeah, hell yeah. They know how to do tailgating.

It also becomes like a thing where you, you almost compete to see who can drink theirs the fastest. Yeah, I think you could probably take down a Capri Sun about 2 seconds. And then you can fill it up with air, then you pop it. Yeah. Yeah, it's true.

I love, I love our draft.

It's really, really strong.

We have chocolate milk, the two most important drinks in the world, coffee and water. Boring. We have a delicious drink in chocolate milk and the fun drink in Capri Sun. We got four that you'd want to party with. You got the Blender Boys over here and John Daly in the booth. Okay, you guys have fourth pick.

You said John Daly in the booth like that was a bad thing.

It's not John.

It's not. Yeah.

Yeah. But you said, but you said John Daly.

Yeah. Arnold Palmer.

We're doing semantic games.

You got the guys who wish they were John Daly.

No, I would never.

The guys who wish they were John Daly. Fourth pick.

No-brainer. Easy pick.

Rupert Float.

I like that one.

I like that one. It's just my 5-year-old.

If we're doing like by calorie, you guys, we should actually like— we should calculate one serving of all of our drinks and you guys would have like a 2000-calorie menu right there.

I feel like Hank, when he texted us saying nonalcoholic drinks, he forgot a couple of words in it because it feels like the Lockwoods did nonalcoholic drinks that you would serve at a 5-year-old's birthday party. We have shakes.

We have like— if someone like gets like serious surgery and can't can't chew food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We basically have like, this is how you get, you know, protein and nutrients in your body.

So those people, please come out and vote.

Yes, please.

Yes.

Yes. Hank and Kanye West, come vote early, vote often.

All the people who are undergoing jaw surgery, get out and vote. Okay.

We're going to go with slushie.

Mm. That's a good pick.

Good pick.

Good pick. It's kind of like a smoothie, but technically more of a drink.

Mm-hmm. Made of ice, made of water. Fun.

Slushies are fun. They are fun. OK, what about Icees?

What do you say?

Same thing. Icy versus slushy.

That's the same thing. It's just that's just a brand of slush.

What about Wooder Ice?

That's not the same thing. That's a dessert. That's a drink. That's not a drink. OK, you need—

that's a spoon. That's what did we miss?

I have coconut water.

I was going to say good nut. Tom Brady's good nut. Yeah.

Yeah. Bone broth. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Soup. I would— I should have taken soup.

Yeah. Apple juice. Apple juice. Apple juice.

Orange juice.

Yeah. Apple juice is elite.

We got orange.

No, we didn't get orange.

We did not.

Yeah.

Matcha. Matcha. I've started to enjoy a nice matcha recently. What about boba tea? Boba tea. Boba tea is a pretty solid choice.

Body Armor.

Fantastic.

Body Armor is the best. We got water, so we already got Body Armor.

Virgin piña colada.

All right.

Body Armor is more than just water.

Yeah, that's true. Seltzer.

Yeah, I like seltzer water.

Flavored seltzer is not bad.

I like regular seltzer, too. Like a San Pellegrino, like a crispy San Pellegrino or Italian sodas.

Italian sodas are really good.

Sparkling cider. Sparkling cider.

Sparkling cider is good.

Sparkling cider is good.

Yeah, there's actually just cider too. Mm-hmm. Sparkling cider is better than cider. I agree. It's got the bubbles.

Your own piss when you're stuck in a desert and you don't know how to get home, or if you're about to go—

you're about to coach a basketball team.

Yeah, you got a big Big East game coming up. Yeah.

What about ginger ale? Ginger ale is good too.

Nah, soda.

That's soda.

It's also just when you're sick. No, I think that's what I associate it with.

I've been on a ginger beer kick, which is nonalcoholic, but it's like ginger ale, but just way more flavor. I think that's the first sign that I'm becoming old. Sure. My grandfather used to pound like 6 ginger beers a day.

Yeah. Shirley Temples.

Yeah.

Shirley Temples. Shirley Temples.

That's a big dude.

That's a hammering those borderline soda, but it's not.

It's not.

I was going to say, that's a Shane-ass pick right there.

Yeah.

Just sugar. You get the shark that's got the cherry syrup in it.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

This is a good Mount Rushmore warm-up.

Yeah, it was fun.

I feel good.

Yeah.

It's like taking your first hit in training camp.

Yeah. If this was real, I would have gotten real mad about the milk chocolate milk double double pick. But you know, this is just warm-up.

Oh, what would you have said?

Please tell.

That, that couldn't count.

I would say that.

Why not?

I would have fought that if I, if I was on the milk side.

If you asked for milk and I brought you a chocolate milk, would you be like, what the fuck? Or would you be like, oh, that's exactly what I wanted? They're totally different things. Yeah, but it's like, it's the same thing.

It's one category.

Coffee.

Soda was one category because of sponsors. So we, so we told Coffee, coffee.

Those are all—

could you have done— yeah, you could have been taking iced coffee. Yeah, that's a big miss by you guys.

That's right, we had it on the list.

Yeah, if I brought you a chocolate milk, you'd say literally, this is not what I ordered.

Yeah, if you're like, hey, can I get a bowl of cereal and I put chocolate milk in it, you'd be like, what the fuck?

It'd be actually pretty good.

Well, Cocoa Puffs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys think Count Chocula— nobody took non-alcoholic beer? No, because that's— because that's stiff.

Drinks.

Yeah, correct.

Yeah, correct. I'm sick of people lying about how good non-alcoholic beer is. It's just not. No, just don't drink. Don't drink beer.

I don't think I've ever had one, to be honest with you.

You don't want to start.

No. Um, okay, good.

Mount Rushmore.

Should we do Fyre Fest?

Let's do it.

Do you want to stick around for Fyre Fest? Sure. All right, Fyre Fest. Do you have one? The Lockwood Couch. Does the Lockwood Couch have a Fyre Fest?

It's been a great week for me. I mean, we did— we played— played top 50 course in the country on Monday with the, uh, Paws 30 outing. Had the family in town this week— brother, dad, brother-in-law— and it's my birthday Saturday. I, I have, I have, I have no complaints. This has been a, it's been an ideal week.

What about—

I guess, I guess the Spurs, the, the Spurs, Darren Fox is my Fyre Fest.

Yeah. What about the fact that you're one year closer to 40?

I'm not worried about that. That was so far away.

How, how old are you?

34?

33.

Whoa.

Come on.

I think he's 34 and he's— wait, you're going to be 34?

No, I'm 32 right now.

I'm going to be 33.

Mm.

Check that. I think you're going to be 34.

Born in 1993. Are you—

are you Hank-splaining his birthday to him?

Yeah, I'm just trying to gaslight him into being 34. Maybe he's done that to us. Remember, he had us at 40 for our entire 30s.

Yeah, well, if when you're— when you're in your late 20s, everybody that's in their 30s is actually 40.

Yeah, 34 will be tough. 33 is fine. Larry Bird. Billy Strings. Great number.

Billy Strings is 33 years old.

That's just a lucky number.

Oh, okay.

Oh, why? I don't know.

I'm wearing a Billy Strings shirt and it's got 33 on.

He just always reps 33.

All right. So you had a good week.

Good for you, Hank.

Great week. Mr. Lockwood, you got a fire?

I do not.

I had a great week as well.

Great trip down here to Chicago. Played some golf.

We avoided all the storms somehow.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

Some people are saying their Fire Fest is that Hank took a shot righty this week. Did he do that with you as well?

No, no righty.

Okay. Because he did do that. He took a shot righty. Now, first time seen him play lefty, played really well. Oh no, PFT, it was not putting, is that right? No, no, it was actually like probably, probably 150 yards from the hole.

I have a question.

Having some fun.

It was, it was, you know, my question was going to be, were you just having some fun?

No, I actually wasn't. We were being dead serious. It was actually Our mulligan shot, so we needed to get a good shot.

Ah, now I think it was not—

if it was not around where I was keeping my own score though, was it with a lefty club? No, no.

Can I have your club real quick?

We can't do that, Hank. We can't do that.

I wouldn't do it in a round where I was playing like my own ball. I would not do that. But if, you know, charity scramble mulligan, because I already took a shot lefty and I was like, oh, we got a mulligan, let's, let's, let's have some fun.

I don't like the fact that you tossed charity in there like it made it okay because it was—

we were, we were— I was— I saved a dog with that, right? No, you actually probably—

if, if If you win the charity, then you take money away from the charity.

No, we don't.

You don't win any event.

No, you win the prizes.

You win a plaque.

There are no prizes.

No, there are no prizes.

Well, plaques cost money.

Yeah. Shout out Paws. Great, great event. I actually went up. They were selling mulligans for charity.

Yeah.

And so you could buy 3 mulligans for $50. And I asked the woman if I could buy 20. She's like, what's the point of even golfing? I thought this was a charity.

That's actually— that's a big loophole, too.

Yeah.

Buy your way into the championship. Yeah.

They capped it at 3. Yeah. So which probably makes sense, but I wanted to just take a million shots and shoot the round of my life. Yeah. All right. PFT, your Fyre Fest.

I got 2 small Fyre Fest. Also a great week. Things have been going good. Start of the summer. Days still getting longer for now. I guess first Fyre Fest for me would be that the U.S. national team is playing Friday night and I'm going to be at a wedding during it. Big T's getting married. Shout out Big T. Best of luck to him and his lovely lady. But he has been told no TVs at the wedding. Oh, and it's— Big T is the biggest, like, don't schedule fall weddings because college football. He really did not know that this was going to coincide, right, with soccer. He's a big U.S. men's national team fan, too. So I've been instructed that I'm, I'm allowed to bring an iPad. I don't know what the acceptable display options that I'm going to have will be. Be, because I'm, I'm hearing that there might be a projector that hooks up to your iPad. Okay. That you could kind of just take over a wall. Okay. But then depending on what kind of wedding it is, people might be like, hey, why are you making people watch sports during the wedding?

Mm-hmm. So I'm kind of like stuck in between a rock and a hard place because I'm— I need to watch the game. Yeah, I have to. You got to respect the ball. But I also don't want to be over the top as a rude wedding guest.

Yeah, I think you kind of— I think it's one of those things you have to feel it out, you know, vibes. And then maybe first half a little bit. And then if it gets tight later, because there is— I have been to weddings where like last 5 minutes of a game, you get people pumped up. If you know it's only going to be 5 minutes, like it is fun. It's a fun camaraderie.

Who made the no TV rule?

Mrs. T? The future Mrs. T?

I don't want to get anyone in trouble with anything like that. I think what happened was is she asked him not to bring an iPad. Yeah. So she's like, as the groom, you should not be like— you should not be walking into your own wedding with a distraction from your wedding in your arm. Yeah. Which I understand. I actually get that. But I've been encouraged to bring, bring my own devices.

Here's, here's the rule I've always gone by. If I, if I'm watching a game or have to watch a game at a wedding, it's very low key. Then if it's very— if it's a good game, memorable game at the end, and you can have people watch with you. Every minute you watch, you got to go doubly as hard on the dance floor when the, when the game ends.

That's true.

You know what I mean?

You got to pay it back.

And you can make it, you got to be like everyone on the dance floor. Let's have some fun.

Maybe even start because I think the game's going to get going during dinner. So maybe like cry extra hard during the ceremony and really get in touch with my emotions. Yep. Appreciate the love and then kind of just bow out for 2 hours. Yeah, I'll be back.

I just—

I just looked it up. I think I, I may also have this issue. There's a potential that I may also have this issue in my wedding.

With the US team?

Yes. Oh no.

If—

right.

So I will be watching either way.

Yeah. Thank you, Hank.

I don't think they're— I can't say that my friends are a big soccer, soccer crowd, so I don't think it'll be too big of an issue.

But it's the World Cup. I feel like everybody is going to get—

and I—

it is in the elimination stage of it, which I do think—

oh, so we won't even be there.

Hank, yeah, turn Hank's mic off.

So 2-2, it was— it's like 2D versus 1K. That would be if—

oh, double D, don't even get it. That would be if the—

if the US comes in second and they're in— because we're in Group D, right?

Yeah. And then we play 1K, or I don't know.

This is—

Max is doing scenarios.

No way you could figure this out. Don't—

I think I just did. 2— no, 2D v 2G.

We're so far away. Yes, actually, it is better if we come in second in our group, I think, overall.

This is impossible to figure out.

Yeah, whatever.

I don't—

I—

realistically, I don't give a fuck.

Tournament expansion might have ruined the World Cup.

You don't— you're not watching anyway. No, no.

All right, then the other small fire fest is I took Blake, uh, into the vet the other day. He has to get like ears cleaned once every 6 months or so. So I took him in, they're like, hey, he's, he's behind on a couple of his vaccinations, can would you mind if we shot him up with those? I said, yeah, absolutely. Give him every, every shot that he needs. Forgetting that Blake does not do well with, with vaccinations. And Blake came home and has just been howling, has not slept, is just being a real pain in the ass. And I think my dog— not to go all RFK Jr. on you— I think my dog might be allergic to vaxxes. I feel like Fauci is— he's got his hands in Blake right now. Now and turns him into a different dog for about 48 hours after he gets those shots. Then he bounces right back. But it's been a tough— it's been a tough day filled with zero sleep because of Blake's, uh, vaccine hesitancy. So maybe next time I'll ask— maybe they can do ivermectin next time.

Um, all right, my Fyre Fest, uh, two quick ones. One, our, uh, playoff game got canceled. Pugs, that sucked. There's nothing better than like getting yourself juiced up for a playoff game and then being like home, no playoff game. And then two, I took a, uh, I posted a picture of Meme's nipples and he hates me forever. And that's it.

I don't think he hates you forever anymore.

He's— he doesn't hate me. There's a little part of him that hates me, but that's healthy for me. Yeah, that is healthy.

But you just got to be on your toes now because any chance he gets—

yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's coming. The— it's, it's, it's getting back, back to me at point. But yeah, memes, are you— have you— are you over nipplegate?

I'm over it. It's all I see online now.

But oh, you know what you should do, memes? I don't want to tell you how to do your job. You're very good at the memes game. You know the two ladies that sit behind the Spurs bench? What if you photoshopped your own nipples onto their shirts?

What if you sat there for Game 5?

I thought about that.

Have you thought about it? Yeah.

Or you think— I think I saw it on—

I was going to do that.

Maybe on TikTok. Someone called you Jack in the Plows.

Oh yeah, that was good.

That was good. I like that one.

Nippleback. Yeah.

How much?

How— what percentage do you hate me?

No, zero.

That's—

I see.

I don't believe— actually, you know what we should do? We should get memes, t-shirts like, like Taylor Swift had. Stevie Nips. Yeah. Who else was that? Nippleback would have been one. And then what was the third?

Nipset.

Niplo. Yeah. Niplo.

We got all of them. Oh, man. Oh, yeah, that was an unfortunate mistake. We did golf this morning, Memes and I. So, and I'll say this, he had an incredible bounce back.

He was wearing a camouflage long sleeve, which that right off the bat, he's into it.

You don't really know where you're looking.

He's going into his Max era.

Yeah. And then he took off the long sleeves. He's got a little hot and he had like all these like weird like designs and stuff, get your eyes going left, right, up, down, can't really find where the nipples are. So he, he's already, he's already fixed it.

As long as there's not a camera around, I dress fine.

Same. All right, Zach, finish this off.

Oh, my favorite fish this week. I did have a pretty good week this week, but I guess we're going for lowlights. I did have a pretty rough, rough start to the season, which would be the competitive Call of Duty season. Season 4 is out. I, uh, there's a rank system, gentlemen, and it goes by SR points. So basically, like, you do well, you receive points in return. You do bad, you lose points. Through a series of disconnects, I'm probably about 480 points in the hole. It will take me probably about 5 weeks to get that 480 back. I've since fixed the disconnect issue through YouTube videos, Reddit, and prayers, but that's pretty much where we're at.

What was the disconnect issue?

It just— the game was just crashing.

Ah, and so it was like, was it one of those things where you'd start a game and because you logged out of the game it punished you?

Like, it seemed— yeah, they treat any disconnect as you abandoning it. So the game would crash and then I'd go to try to log back in and then it— I'd lose the points. And then I'd get messages like, what the fuck, pussy, why did you leave the game? So those are always fun too.

Would you care to address those allegations that you left the game because you're a pussy? What the fuck? Fuck.

Me being a pussy and me leaving the game are two separate issues. I didn't leave the game on purpose. Yeah. For those of you thinking that correlation does not equal causation.

Yes.

Got it.

Not a pussy, but also pussy. Yeah. Like two separate things. Pussy can be pussy sometimes.

That's not why. Right, right.

Maybe pussy IRL. On game, standing on business.

Yes.

Yes.

Virtually, 10 toes down.

I don't think you're pussy IRL.

Well, I think you got to call your shots. Sometimes you got to be pussy.

Have you guys thought at all about Game 5 in San Antonio? Like, 3 guys, like, there's safety in numbers, you know?

Yeah, I feel good about our 3-man.

If we were to get jumped.

Yeah, I don't think San Antonio is doing the jumping, but if we were, you punch and run.

So like big group follows you, you swing, you just have to hold on, run, swing, run.

Then what do we think about run and run?

Also, you're now saying Zach— I'm worried about my boy Zach if there's a running situation.

I think adrenaline, speed, I might be right.

But it's like the old saying, like you, you don't have to be the fastest, you just don't— you can't be the slowest.

So I gotta trip somebody.

Yeah, you gotta trip Memes or Chad.

No, a different guy. You might have to be a different guy.

No, I think That's what I'm saying. Che's also a beast.

Yeah, he's— yeah, Che means— got us.

They got us. Guys won't fuck with Che. They probably think he knows karate, Krav Maga. Yeah, a little something.

Probably does.

He probably does, dude. That's the one thing, when you're with Che, everything works out for him.

I can see Che being secret belted.

Yeah, definitely secret belted. All right, good show, boys.

Numbers 11.

Oh, come on.

Nice.

1. Oh, come on.

5. I go 3.

Uh, I'm going 8.

I'll go 33.

Wow.

95.

We should have— we should have been all over 8.

Yeah, I'll go 44. Yeah, OG. Actually, I'll go 73. Jacob. Jacob.

Jacob.

Jacob Colton, number 42.

12. Jacob 42, Colton 12. I put 5. X and 5. Wow! Let's go! Wow! Hank, why'd you pick 1?

Uh, one game at a time for the Spurs. One game at a time.

Oh no, Memes!

No, that's a great sign. Why? Oh, because Hank's about to have the worst summer of his life.

Oh, but that is also another person who is, uh—

no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's one more game left for the Knicks. That's why it was always gonna be one. Thank you, Hank. Knicks, Knicks are gonna win in 5.

Memes is saying that he— Hank just submitted that Memes gonna get to watch the Knicks win the championship on Saturday. Great night in person.

I don't know how that correlates, but I'm happy I won.

Yeah, how does that mean that he's gonna have the worst summer ever?

It's coming.

This— you got some plans?

This is dwindling.

Ah yeah, I mean, this is— you got the birthday number. It's—

yeah, it's—

what a present.

PFT, Colton.

Yep.

Max.

Nope, not—

oh, not PFT, Colton memes and Shane.

I did.

No, has Shane gotten it?

Shane, have you gotten it?

No. Okay.

Wow.

PFT, Colton memes. History repeating itself.

I already got it.

You did not.

You did not.

I got 10.

You did not. You did not get it.

You did not.

But it also doesn't matter because Hank just won.

I won.

He won the next championship.

Thank you.

I won.

Good pick, Hank.

Thank you.

Happy birthday today, Friday, June 12th, to George H.W. Bush, to Drew Holliday, Hideki Matsui, Anne Frank, Richard Sherman, not the football player, but he's a composer. His name's also Richard Sherman. And then happy birthday on Saturday to Handsome Hank Lockwood, 34 years old. We love you, Hank. Also, happy birthday to Hassan Whiteside, Chris Evans, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Yep.

Nice.

And today, share a birthday with them.

Yeah. Oh, and Tim Allen.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, remember when we killed him?

Yeah, who could forget?

RIP.

Awesome.

But also, happy birthday. Love you guys.