Transcript of Ep 618 - Officer Lemaire (feat. Charles Blyzniuk & Lemaire Lee)

The Wild Wild West. Luke, you— We're live.

Belmar rules. Yeah, Luke, you sexy as hell.

Yeah, he looks good.

You're back on the Belmar train?

I am. Yeah. He was, I think, I don't know, he went away.

I thought.

I haven't seen him in a while. I know.

I wonder what happened to him.

He's back. He's got a shaved head.

Just went to study.

Wearing a scarf, doing a fucking business. Yeah.

He learned with the monks.

Yeah.

He learned business with the monks.

I think he did, yeah. He and Wemby went to China together.

Buy!

Sell!

Hi. Yeah, he's like, you, you stick to basketball. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be the business. I'm business. Yeah, the, the monks will teach me the ancient wisdom.

Yeah, this is how he talks. It's great. He's like, AI is going to take all of your jobs. All of your jobs. And there's just people in a fucking convention center like This is good stuff. This is good. I need this. Yeah. Anyway, hello, welcome to the podcast. Matthew's not here. Uh, we tried to do yesterday, but I couldn't get out of bed after going to the NBA Finals. I was a little tired. Yeah, but kind of fucked it up for everybody because now Matt's gone and now Lemaire is— now Lemaire is filling in. Lemaire just— he's, he's fired up. He just walked into the kitchen and was like Have you heard about the Lego thing?

Oh yeah, wait, you mentioned this to me too.

He turned off— I was watching a nice humming— I was watching a nice hummingbird documentary and he just turned it off, put on a Lego fucking YouTube video, and then walked back outside.

I was making— I was grilling sausages. I had to go check on my sausages.

What's—

okay, what are you so happy about?

Yeah, I'm having a good time.

The fucking dopers are in a good mood today. That's great. Guard dog's energy is I've never seen him this happy. I feel good. What's going on? Why are you so happy? Just Zandini today.

I don't know why.

It's been a while.

It has been. I missed— yeah, I haven't seen this side of you in forever. Yeah, well, I haven't seen you guys in a while. I miss the old— miss the old guard dog. This new grumpy guard dog. Yeah, well, but now he's in a good place. I do too. Yeah. What do you think is going to happen tonight when you— you're riding high right now. I've seen how this usually goes. Yeah, I'll probably have a couple whiskeys and get mad about something. Yeah, I won't let it ruin it, you know. Who do you think you're gonna get mad at? What do you think is gonna— whoever's around, someone's gonna get the business.

There's a good chance you're gonna go, you're a chud.

I have noticed Cardini's gotten better at like right before the mean kicks in, leaving.

Yeah, I've seen his lady. His lady's usually the one going dragging them out. That's nice. I see it's so funny. Like, we were at the Mothership the other night and I watched his— his girl goes first, he's always behind her like, I have to leave.

Yeah, someone's about to get punished. He can say he's just a fist on the table. We should go.

It's under the table.

So Meezy, fill us in on the Legos.

All right, there's this company called Bricks and Minifigs, and they are a Lego reseller. So they buy Legos from people and they resell them. And there's this guy, uh, him and his dad had a big collection of Legos, and they had like a, a, a building, a store. And then the dad got sick, so to cover the cost, they like had a deal with Bricks and Minifigs that made sure that they were retained owning the Legos, but Bricks and Minifigs would sell them and they just like take a portion of the sale, you know? So then the dad gets better and they're like, all right, we want our bricks back. And then the company's like, we actually don't have them, but they do have them. They're still on the shelves. They're like advertising them on their Instagram and stuff and they're just lying and lying. So that guy calls a YouTube guy and then the YouTube guy does a whole investigation And that's when it gets nuts.

Okay, so what gets nuts?

This YouTube guy, he's just like trying to investigate. He's like, give back the bricks. And the guy's like, no. And then he's like, all right. And then he goes through all the legal loops. So he like makes a company called that, uh, he makes a company so that the LEGO company will sue him. So the company is like, uh, pretty much an exact copy of the company, but He's just trying to infringe on them so that they sue him, and they won't do it. And then, uh, he makes a lottery because— but he goes through all the loopholes to make like a legal lottery. And then he, uh, sells the minifigs because he owns the figures. He owns the figures, so he sells the figures through the lottery, and the company doesn't give the figures away. So they're criminally in trouble now. But every time he goes to the cops, the cops are like, you gotta leave, you're the one causing the problem. He's like, legally they're stealing from me and you guys aren't doing anything about it. And then it just— that happens for like a couple months, and then he like tries to give up and he starts a GoFundMe for the guy, and then he gets arrested for doing the GoFundMe in Utah because they like, you're still like harassing these people and he's not doing anything.

And it turns out everybody's Mormon. Okay, the Mormon thing is the crazy thing. It's like a Mormon, like, uh But all the cops are Mormon, all the owners of the company are Mormon. So there's like—

this is deeper than Legos now.

Yeah, it's deeper than Legos, bro.

Yeah.

And this YouTube guy's figuring it all out like in real time. Like, this is like 3 months old.

What kind of mystery is that? It's in Utah. They're all Mormons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.

Yeah, I mean, they're all Mormon.

Yeah, I don't think— I think the— it's about the Mormon mafia that is more or less taking over Legos.

They're taking over Legos?

Taking over Lego reselling. The Mormon Mafia is taking over Legos because a lot of other people have tried to get their Legos back and it doesn't work with Bricks and Minifigs.

Yeah.

Oh my God. So that's okay.

He's just high in his room.

Mormon Mafia.

Mormon Mafia is taking over Legos. Yeah. Oh my God, I gotta go inside and tell Shane. He goes, did you hear about the Lego thing?

Yeah, I thought this— I thought it was truly like the Lego dude.

It's crazy.

What's crazy?

You gotta watch the videos, man. He's getting arrested for nothing. Like, it's crazy. He's doing everything legally right, and then the cops are like, hey man, you're fucking with our guy, so you're wrong.

He brings in a lot of Lego money for the—

well, he works— yeah, yeah. Well, I think Bricks and Minifigs gives the cops some kickbacks.

You think the LEGO resellers are paying off the cops?

Yeah, almost definitely from this video, dude. Based on this video.

Yeah, but why would they pay off the cops?

Because they don't want people to get their LEGOs back. They want to keep the profit. I don't know, man. Okay. I don't know. It's crazy. It's like Pokémon cards with LEGOs though.

Okay. Yeah. Are they valuable LEGOs?

Yeah, it's like, uh, his collection was worth $200,000.

Yeah, okay.

It was like some Legos you can never get again.

It's like the— just keep thinking of like the Lego model of like the Sean John headquarters. You can't get this one anymore.

Yeah, you can't get the Diddy style Lego anymore.

Yeah, you get to see the Diddy video.

No.

Oh yeah, that's a scary one.

The video made me sad.

It's a tough one to see.

Yeah, there's a new video.

It's a video of a lady. The only thing I saw was she was giving a guy head and Diddy was kind of just creeping around. He's walking around in the back stroking that shit.

Daddy, yeah, I'm back here.

I didn't see the sex. Yeah, he was getting after—

she was getting punished.

It was the Punisher.

Yeah, it wasn't the Punisher, it was somebody else, but she was getting—

it was, it was the Punisher's understudy.

Yeah.

I lost my voice. I can't punish.

Yeah, there's— seeing him, yeah, his, his physique wasn't— was it tough?

It's tough.

Yeah, the whole thing's tough, man. He's like hunched over stroking a relatively tiny dong. Yeah.

Damn.

Was that— I thought—

you think he had sex with his mom?

Do I think Puff had sex with his mom.

Yeah, you watched the— did you watch the doc?

No, I did.

I don't remember thinking that though, because like they're talking about how much time he spent with his mom and how she like groomed him for stuff.

Yeah, I don't know, maybe he got molested by somebody. Yeah, yeah, it's usually what leads to cracking one off in a hotel, walking around true naked, filming it with red lights. With the Punisher, usually something happens.

It is.

Yeah, when you got the Punisher, it draws you to—

it draws you to the red light bulbs, right? To the red light bulbs. You have those.

What? You love red light bulbs. You crack—

What's the red light bulb?

He cracks them off like Diddy. Diddy, he walks around in that room with the red light bulbs.

We're synced up days apart. Like, we were just talking about how freaky anybody who's doing red light bulbs were yesterday.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I didn't know Lamar was a red light bulb guy.

It's definitely true.

Oh, shit. You're a red light bulb guy?

I just say, Alexa, turn the sun red. Yeah. It's so easy.

Damn. What's going on in your search?

You can't even close the blinds to turn the sun red. I don't do anything to block out the sun.

Turn the sun red.

Block the sun out. I'm ready to crack one off.

Yeah, turn the sun red. Turn the fucking—

Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah, I think that's kind of a black thing though. You guys love colored lights.

I don't think so, because I always see it at high-rise apartments. That's where I see it the most, like a freaky, like, high-rise purple or red.

Freaky.

It's a freaky, freaky ass, because you see that when I go, that's the freaky guy.

Of course, yeah, it's a purple room. Yeah.

It's true.

Who knows? Nothing good's going on there. They're not playing cards. No, they're not putting together a puzzle.

They're getting nasty.

Spit roasting a guy, doing something evil in there.

Wasn't that Diddy? Diddy?

Diddy?

Wasn't that like Freaky Red Light?

The worst cereal.

I'm really happy with Diddy.

It was Diddy O's.

You gotta stop turning.

The guy looks like Nate.

Who?

The guy naked.

Diddy.

There's no way.

I haven't seen the video. You'll look it up, you'll go, damn, they got me. Is that me? I'm sorry if it's mean.

I'm sorry, man. To be fair to Diddy though, like, if you catch me like standing jerking off, I'm gonna be hunched too.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm gonna be hunched. I'm hunched no matter what.

Yeah, yeah. Somebody filmed me walking in LA and I got got made fun of.

I was in public.

What the hell?

Yeah, and that was unfortunate because me and McKeever were both wearing red gym shorts for some reason. Yeah, we were wearing like matching outfits walking together. It's pretty embarrassing.

You guys are going to work out?

Yeah. No, we're walking. We're not working out. We're going to get— we both got our hair cut. We were in the same hotel and I came down, he was wearing red shorts, I was wearing it. We were both like, oh man, we look dumb.

You guys wore matching—

We're in the exact same outfit. Yes. And then we went to the same place and got our haircuts.

Yeah, that's kind of gay.

White guys.

Yeah. All it would have taken is different color shorts and we would have been fine. Yeah.

White guys, red gym shorts. Black guys, red light bulbs.

Yes, dude.

White guys.

I'm sorry, I'm not—

Yeah, red light bulb guys.

Yeah, you are.

No, we're not.

Disproportionately.

Never once seen it in my life. Where to win?

I think I'm saying 50% of the red light bulbs are represented by 13% of the population. You guys love red light bulbs.

I've owned red light bulbs 2 separate times in my life.

I rest my case. I've never.

Lemaire just does Lemaire things. Like, it's like saying every black dude's coming here putting on the Lego dot, like the Lego news. That's not, you can't use Lemaire as the, I'm not saying, I'm not trying to discount your blackness. You black as hell. I would never do that to you. I'm just saying Lemaire is an outlier in a bunch of different.

An ally.

It's true.

Anime and red light bulbs, and I think there's— that's a good point. Yeah, like gamers, Black culture and anime.

Yeah, but then, but then you always got like the white gamer guys got like a light blue or a purple light bulb going on in there, or the LED lights, just like, or to get a color.

So you're saying that's white culture, the strip, and you guys are appropriating? I do. So you're gonna give us one? I'm not gonna get one. Can we get LED lights?

Appropriating it.

And we got gamer chairs. Those are ours. Gamer chairs? No.

No. Gamers are definitely us. No.

No way.

I'm just claiming it.

I don't even know.

I got no evidence. Gamers are white guys. No, they're Asian. Asian. Gamers are Asian.

I wonder who was first though.

Koreans.

It feels like the honkies though.

Feels like Koreans to me.

I don't know, man.

Like Tiger Beat Legion? Yes.

They might've made the chair, but the white guy innovated it. Not to sound like an Uncle Tom.

Think about how locked in.

Think about how locked in. Brother Lee was on the Devil's Podcast. Oh, true.

Oh my God, he's watching.

He's gonna be waiting in Philly.

Tell me more about this Lego documentary, brother.

Yeah, I'm only on part 2. I gotta get to part 3. I'm waiting for part 3. I think part 3 comes out tomorrow.

Would you ever go to— have you been to Utah?

Yeah, I went with Matt recently, actually. It was pretty nice.

I like Utah.

Utah's cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Would you go back to investigate?

No. You don't want to get involved?

No. You could help him out.

No, dude, this guy was getting fucked. Like, they would shoot me. That's how fucked this guy was getting. Like, they would have shot me. Like, for real, man.

If you get killed by police brutality and there's fucking La Mer murals everywhere.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

Summer is a lot of fun, but it can be a lot. Summer's fun, but it can be a lot.

Matt, or it can be a lot.

Tell me, what's one thing, uh, this summer that you have a lot going on? And what did you do? Uh, did you enjoy being that busy, or did you prefer more relaxed, uh, itinerary?

I, I enjoy the business a little bit, but I would like some more relaxing.

You need to relax more. That's what I always say about you. Yeah, people ask me, they say, what's it like living with a mayor? I said, I wish the guy would fucking relax.

Too much of a busybody. Yeah, yeah, I got so much going up here.

You do.

It's true, the police radio never turns off.

True. We do have to get you a scanner.

Yeah. Oh man, actually, you would have fun with the scanner.

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

You go to crimes in progress.

You'd be feared in the city. The criminals, the bad guys would go, oh shit, it's La Mer.

Yeah, this is the leverage.

He's coming, he's gonna get the leverage. You get low on him, fire out. So if you're feeling overwhelmed, try BetterHelp. They're one of the biggest online therapy platforms and pretty highly rated too. They can connect you with a professional therapist who can help you understand what you need to truly enjoy your summer. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off betterhelp.com MSSP. That's betterhelp.com MSSP. Now let's get back to the show.

Hey everybody, it's me, uh, Lemaire. I'm gonna be in Charlottesville on June 25th.

Uh-oh.

Yeah, wait a minute.

Bringing my torches.

Bring yours. I'll be in Ferguson, Missouri. I'll be in Charlottesville. Where else are you going?

Charlottesville on The 25th of June and the 27th of June, Columbia, South Carolina. And then I got a bunch of shows coming up on the East Coast in August. Please check those out at lamerlee.fun. Panties in the Mouth, the Tenacious Lee Brothers Podcast. Please check those out as well.

Tenacious Lee Brothers?

Yeah. What's up?

It's me and Jabri. We just play video games.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Thanks, gang. And Matt's in Fort Wayne, Indiana tonight, so go see Matt tonight.

The link's in the description.

I'll be in, uh, Charleston pretty soon too if you want to go see that.

Thank you. Yes. Goodbye.

And optimum noctis. Goodbye. Or we could get like a mural of The View and paint you as— paint you as— he is the view. Have you ever heard his opinions?

No, I'm not The View.

It's The View.

I've been— no, I've been on the news. I've been back. Yeah, back on the news. The guy over there.

You're back on the news?

Yeah.

What's going on right now?

They're talking— they're trying to get AI wealth funds.

Okay.

They're trying to— yeah.

Oh, like have AI operate them rather than people?

No, they're trying to have the money we would pay people, we would take it from companies, put in the fund to take care of people since there's not going to be any more jobs. And there's nothing we can do to stop it.

I see.

Okay, have you noticed what you're on? That everyone keeps going, there's going to be no more jobs. It's like, all right, fucking make something else, like, you know, make more jobs or something. Like, you know, it doesn't make any sense.

Well, in what way? Like, I also don't think— I think there's going to be jobs.

Yeah, I think so too.

Yeah, I was watching this doc like 2 days ago called How I Became an Apocaloptimist or something like that. It was, uh, But it was like a dude, the whole thing is just a dude interviewing people who like make AI and all of those people, he even had like the CEOs on there. They're like, yeah, we for real don't know what the fuck is happening with this. Like, it's like major CEOs being like real pessimistic about it. And it wasn't, it wasn't a good, the point they were trying to make is I guess we're moving too fast. Like everybody's trying to be the best, but because everybody's trying to be the best, we're not being careful. As like, uh, like the whole planet. Yeah, yeah. And this kind of—

I also saw a news that said people are stealthily reversing their AI decisions too, just like they're not like publicly making it known. Yeah, but that's not— it's still— they're fucking still moving dangerously fast.

I was, I, I was walking around earlier today and I was thinking about, uh, you see like the Mexican guys Construction crews, like building stuff. And, uh, you know, they can like 3D print the foundations of houses now.

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.

Like, uh, those guys are gonna have a lot of time on their hands. Says open up the porn. Open up the porn again. Oh yeah, they're gonna not be able— they're gonna have to like be on site, but they don't have to build.

Yeah, they're just gonna jack off.

Check off.

I'm just gonna have to jack off at every job site. I wonder how often the lads hit a fucking jack off at a site.

Probably pretty— in the porta potty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hitting the siesta.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta keep them busy, dude. You ever see the lads after work? Yeah, the six-pack of Modelo on the bike, dude. Yes, you get it.

Or in the truck.

Or in the truck.

In the truck, actively drinking.

I've seen behind the wheel so So often.

Just a guy driving with a fucking beer. It's on every road here. And I support it. Not drinking and driving. I don't support drinking and driving, but I support the lads doing it.

Yeah.

Having fun. They seem to handle it until they don't. Until they fucking flip their shit.

Then they're right back on the side of the highway taking another siesta. You see them like, like, like not— even like hurt, just, just like, oh shit, they got me.

Yes, dude, there's so many videos of a Mexican guy hammered crashing his car and, and people are filming him. He get out and they're like, what'd you do?

And the guy just lays down.

Yeah, he literally doesn't—

he just goes, jerk off.

I was, I was jerking off in the passenger seat. The driver took off.

You gotta crank one in the police— in the cop car if you know it's gonna be like your last one.

Yes, you're about to get locked up.

You gotta like, well, I rub it out.

Actually, I rub it out.

You gotta come one more time before you get it.

You did the act. That was fucking— what the fuck's a thigh rub?

Yeah, I actually don't know. No, wait, no, no, please.

You do thigh rubs?

You just like tuck your meat and then you just like— I can't believe you never done thigh rubs. This is crazy.

No, I've actually never.

All right, I fully believe him. Also, he's got those Thick-ass thighs, dude. It probably feels crazy good.

It probably does, actually, yeah.

It's crazy. So you hit fucking thigh rub jackoffs?

Not in a long time, but I'm saying—

What's a long time? But like—

Like, since like maybe like— when did I start driving?

While you drive?

No, not while I'm driving. I'm just trying to think of the time frame. Probably like 25.

When you were 25 years old?

Before then, yeah. 22 to 25, in that area.

22 to 25, you were not using your hands and jacking off by moving back and forth. That's—

Stop it! The movement is—

It's fucking gross. Does it feel good right now? Ew!

I bet! I'm not jacking right now.

You're not jacking?

No, I'm not jacking.

Wait, you're not jacking right now, or you mean like—

I'm not jacking right now.

I'm not jacking.

What'd you say? He's been jacking off forever.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not jerking off right now, I swear.

Well, now you— now you can't be trusted. True. You cannot be trusted, dude. I'm gonna see you walking and be like, yeah, yeah, I know he's tucked in between his thighs, dude. He's a freak, fool. That's the red lights. You block that one.

Yeah, the lights change automatically.

Alexa, make the sun red.

And then, yeah.

Oh yeah, I'm just gonna— I'm gonna set fire to that house. I'm gonna burn that house to the pool house is condemned. It is gonna fall. Yeah, the house is collapsing.

I saw, I saw a crack in the near where the door is and I was like, I'm doomed.

Yeah, one of us is gonna have a house collapse.

Getting smooshed.

If you get smooshed mid-thigh, makes you might feel better.

Yeah, true. Yeah, damn, that's really funny to get in a car accident, just like, then a cop being, sir, yeah, sir, stop.

Yeah, I'm allowed to do this.

Yeah. I'm gonna break your window to get you out.

The— Blizz has been watching Midwest, Midwest Safety with me. We've had some great ones.

The one of the meth lady getting her car attacked, that's probably my favorite so far.

It was really great. There's a lady at a gas station and they're like, she's got a warrant. They pull up, 3 cars box her in immediately. 4 cops come up to the window and they're like, open the door now. And she's like, what? And they're like, I'm gonna break the window if you don't open the— It took 20 seconds of them being like, open the door, to like 5 cops punching her car. Yeah, everyone just started wailing on this car. Guy starts stabbing the fucking tire. They just beat the fuck out of this lady's car. She's on meth. She's like, what?

She didn't even get to— she was trying to get gas. She didn't even get to get out.

Yeah, they like boxed her in immediately, started wailing on her car.

Yeah, you see the body cam of a guy takes his knife out.

Yeah, he just stabs the tires. She's like, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me? Fuck you, bitch.

She escapes too. She like gets away.

She escaped in the car.

Yeah, she wrecked.

Yeah, a lot. But then she crashes later, then hides under just a person's porch. She's under there. She gets a couple— she gets a couple more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was awesome. Then she goes to the hospital and just really talks shit back and forth with the cop, like in a really funny way. Yeah, have fun working at Costco the rest of your life. You just lost your fucking career, bitch. He's like, fuck you, lady. He's like, you just swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl. You shouldn't talk to anybody. So I'll talk— I'll fucking spit it out whenever I want. I'll fuck it. This is fine.

Oh yeah, she— yeah, he's like, your bail's $500,000. You're gonna pay that? She's like, yeah.

Yeah, she's like, yeah, no problem, dude. I just gotta shit these bags out. That's $500 grand right there.

She swallowed 15 bags.

Yeah, they yank her out from under a porch. She just smoked. They found a crack plug with her.

Mad respect for that.

She was awesome. Crash the car, sprint through a neighborhood, hide under a porch, and just go, they're never gonna find me.

Yeah, you got to get it in before you go. Yeah, before you hit the clink.

It'd be awesome. I'd be, I'd be so happy to be in the house when she did that. To be like, you see a crazy lady sprint in your backyard.

Yeah.

Then light up a fucking crack and then have a police dog run under the porch and bite her.

To be like, wait, that's my sister, she's not smoking crack, she's awesome. And then, and then you let her inside and she goes, you motherfucker. Yeah, actually it's not my sister, get— take her away.

No. Oh man, it's getting close to those Rends, dude.

Oh yeah, true, they're back in the Bud Light box.

They are.

Dang, that's nice.

It actually was really nice to see that they're back.

Yeah, they really nested us.

Can you hear anything? Uh, no, I'm not sure about that. I just can't— every time I see a Mexican guy from now on, I'm gonna think about how bad he wants— yeah, how bad he wants to jerk off. I don't think anyone's closer to what LeMaher's up to. Yeah, true. There's the new leader in the clubhouse.

Yeah.

I mean, that's the most preposterous.

Thigh rub. It's possible, dude.

Anything is possible!

Yeah, it's true. May I ask a personal question?

Uh, yeah.

Have you thigh rubbed all the way to completion?

Obviously, yes. You saw the way his face dropped. He knew exactly what he's done. You thigh rubbed to completion?

I don't think so.

He also used to jack off on his knees.

Oh yeah, I did.

He'd sit behind his grandma's couch and sit on his knees and jack off on the floor so she wouldn't see me.

There were stairs.

Granny, no!

She couldn't see me.

You're easily number one.

Yeah, damn.

Uh, the boys are going wild. They're ready for the Spurs, dude. They're trying to speedrun this.

Yeah, that's true. Go Spurs, go! Um, what's that?

Oh, you think they got it this game?

I think the Spurs are gonna win game 2. Yeah, but New York's pretty awesome.

Yeah.

Brunson's the fucking man.

Yeah.

It's unbelievable.

Harden's the fucking man. KAT, I was happy for KAT.

Yeah.

Yeah.

KAT played really well.

I kind of came around on the Knicks watching that game. I hated the feeling of it, but like, KAT kind of like locking Wemby up for like the first 3 quarters was— I mean, he had, he made it hard for Wemby. Like harder than anybody did all playoffs.

You make it hard for anybody. The way you were dressed.

It wasn't that bad. It was just a beater. Everybody thought it was a deep V.

It wasn't a beater. It was a deep V. He cut the sleeves off.

He keeps saying I cut the sleeves off a deep V.

Is that true? No, that's obviously not true.

Would you ever do that? That's actually kind of— that's nice.

No, you should start dressing like Satoya.

That is— yeah, that's real. That's R&B shit.

Remember when Satoya brought out the long tees?

The long tees.

Super long tees, but not baggy.

And the scarves. Shout out Satoya.

Satoyo had the drip.

He did have the drip. He probably still does.

Definitely.

Yeah, that doesn't go away.

Yeah, it's true. It's not— it's not on me.

It's Satoyo's drip. You don't lose that. You're born with that. I wish we had BeezMZ here. I know. BeezMZ, just breaking— anytime you see him, he just breaks the story. He just goes, Dave, Satoyo got fucking banned from Helium. Dude, I don't give a fuck.

"Keen Cobb, dumbass!" "Keen!" It truly is word on the street.

Yeah, he's immediately—

He's got his ear to the streets. "Yo." "Yeah." "Dude." Smoke shop guy.

"Pat House." That's you at Philly Comics.

You go, "Fuck yeah." I always forget the name of his local smoke shop, but I rode my bike by it a couple days ago.

Oh, the one that we said looked like him? He got mad at us. We were in the car after a Phillies game. Bees was a menace at the game. And then we're in the car and for some reason he got mad. The Bud Man, is that what it is?

Bud Bandit.

Bud Bandit. There's like a Bud Bandit, uh, you're the Butt Bandit. There's a Bud Bandit billboard that just looks like Bees. And we're like, yo, Bees, there's your billboard. And he's like, yo, I don't fucking look like that guy at all. Fuck you.

It's just a white guy with a hat and sunglasses.

It does look exactly like bees. Exactly like the bees. He got pissed.

New Jersey.

Yeah, I don't fucking do that shit. Fuck you. Sorry, bees. I miss the bees dearly.

Me too. I can't wait to see him, uh, just in— oh yeah, in Philadelphia. I'm gonna get up there, see what he's up to.

It's probably a boner.

I would love that.

Can't wait to get to Bonners. It's time. Yeah, we're due.

Bonners is nice.

Kaffee in seiner besten Form. Mit Qubo wird jeder Kaffee auf Knopfdruck zum Genussmoment. Denn mit der neuen Qubo One Kapselmaschine von Chibo genießt du feinsten Spitzenkaffee aus besonderen Anbaugebieten. Vollmundige Aromen dank innovativer Press Brew Technologie und über 17 Sorten Kaffee für jeden Geschmack. Erlebe Premiumkaffee schon ab 29 €. Entdecke jetzt die Qubo-Kapselmaschine in deiner Qubo-Filiale und auf qubo.de. I like seeing that really old guy at Bonner's. There's a really old man who looks like a pirate. He looks like a pirate. He comes every day. Yeah.

And, uh, and there's the guy with the dog, Guinness dog.

You see that?

This guy with like a purple dog. He dyed his hair purple and he makes a drink Guinness. Really? Yeah, it's pretty great. The dog sits at the bar and drinks Guinness out of a bowl. Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm gonna die here. This is perfect. You got the bees to my left, bees on the table.

It's Guinness bowl.

Yeah, Conman's a menace in there too, dude. I don't know what happens anytime we're at Bonner's.

Turns it upside down.

I've seen him dead in there 20 times. Every picture I've seen from there, it's like he gains 80 pounds when he gets— his belly sticks straight out. He more— he's like a pig going back into the wild. It takes like 3 days for him to grow tusks. He's a wild boar instantly. That was where I switched the game on him.

He was trying to watch—

oh yeah, he was watching 2010 YouTube full game and he was Didn't notice. The fuck's going on here? He didn't notice that he watched the game from like '04 for fucking 20 minutes on his phone, and it was a game he was just at. He just left like Eagles-Titans or Eagles-Falcons, and it was like Falcons-Bucs on the TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's like, they're playing again. They got another game today. Yeah, that— I mean, I'm excited to go to the basketball game again tonight. Yeah, I can't— I can't keep— can't keep away. Yeah, every day I wake up, I go, I should fucking chill, and it's like, I could also go to the fucking game.

Yeah, dude, aren't you— that's a— aren't you going to be in NYC too?

I am going to New York tomorrow, dude. You think I hit the entire series? You think I hit the whole series?

The whole series, dude.

Yeah, I mean, I got—

I know.

Wait, you might be— you're like the, the guy who sits in— no, Goldstein, the, the old guy, the really old guy.

You can call me anything you want, but don't call Yo, fucking Goldsteins. Yeah, if I could get perfect attendance, would be sick. They asked— I was thinking about going to the White House UFC. Oh wow, it's a tough one. Yeah, it's a tough one to go to. I can't decide. It's a tough choice because it's gonna be sick as fuck. It's on the White House lawn.

Yeah, and they're new lawn. It's like new, right?

Sick, dude.

Didn't they just like make it for this?

Yeah, yeah, they're like still building it, I guess, right? Yeah, a giant dome.

I mean, it's also—

if you get hit, if somebody blows it up, it's a good way to go. Yeah, then you know, I'm sure to get a mural. Yes, you'll get a mural.

It'd be a crazy mural. Attendant to the UFC.

It's gonna be crazy.

Kid Rock, Trump. Kid Rock, Trump. Yeah, yeah, might not be— yeah, Theo.

Roguies on the side of like a gas station in Washington, DC.

You guys are sitting around a big podcast table.

Big podcast table in the sky.

Yeah, damn, that would be sick.

Yeah, if you get hit with a bazooka at that That's how you go. Yeah, I died on the White House lawn watching a UFC fight, got hit with a missile.

It might be the Oblok bazooka, Chicago jersey.

The one of the—

yeah, one of the Oblokians got his hand on—

one of the Oblokians got his hand on him.

No disrespect, shout out to—

for sure.

Dude, that is the most American way to go. On the White House lawn during a UFC event by bazooka. Yes. That's like, yeah, yeah, no fucking— they'll spread your dust with a flag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all right. Yeah, you're— it's Tillman.

Yeah, I get a statue outside of Helium, the statue of Pat Tillman running with his hair.

Yeah.

Uh, yeah, so that's— we got that going on. I was thinking about going to the UFC and McGregor's coming back. Yeah, I've never gotten to see him fight. I'm supposed to be locking in and focusing on work.

Yeah, who's McGregor fighting?

Max Holloway. Oh yeah, yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

Yeah, that's gonna be a banger. Well, yeah, I don't know if McGregor has rust though. Probably. Yeah, and Max has been fighting. He's an animal. He's in his— he's in his prime right now, actually.

Yeah, if McGregor doesn't show up, he's gonna get fucking leveled.

He's gonna get pissed off. Yeah, that would be fun.

I don't know, I don't know, we'll see. Yeah, yeah, there's too many cool things going on this summer.

It's a good summer, but I gotta focus on the Link Show.

Yeah, instead it's like, I think I'll go to the World Cup. Yeah, there you go. Oh fuck, uh, the All-Star Game's in Philly the same week as my show. Sick, I'll go to that instead of focusing. I'll get drunk for 4 days at the MLB All-Star Game for some I don't give a fuck about the All-Star Game.

Just sit there.

Yeah, home run derby, let's go Judge. Yeah, does he still play?

Yeah, no, I think he's out right now.

Yeah, he heard he broke something, stress fracture in his rib.

Yeah, I don't know anybody in baseball anymore. I think, I think everybody I used to know is old now.

Who do you, who do you know?

Uh, was it Christian Yelchin? Who? Or Christian Yelich or whatever?

That's a crazy pull.

Yeah, Davidson, very specific.

Yeah.

Wow, he's great. Yeah, I'm surprised that was your guy. I know.

Aaron Judge, Shohei, Bryce Harper.

You're naming current players.

Yeah, but they're like old now, right?

No, you can, you can be kind of old in baseball.

Okay. Yeah, Justin Verlander doesn't play anymore though.

I don't think so.

Okay, that was the only pitcher I knew, I think. Yeah, that was my guy. Steven Strasburg.

We're looking up, we're looking up some Drysdale stats. It's very funny because Christopher Sanchez for the Phillies would set the record for scoreless innings. Yeah, for the Phillies. And he was close to the all-time, but the all-time is held by— fuck, I forget his name. He's a Dodger, whatever. But second place was Drysdale. Yeah, from The Bag's on You, Drysdale.

Yeah.

And he was, uh, one out short of tying the record. Oh, it was like 53 and 2/3. The record was 54. A pinch hitter from the Phillies came in. He said the bag's on you. Yeah, got a fucking sack fly in the 5th inning to ruin his record.

He didn't kill that hooker.

Dry sales with his primo whore. Comes downstairs, the fucker's still pissed. A light— I think they meant to say all right. They typed a light. Yeah, quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Playoff Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePicks. A preferred partner of the NBA. The NBA Finals are here and legacies are on the line. Who's looking sharp and who's just like a pedestrian on the court? Tell you what, there was a pedestrian on the court.

There was.

I know, I didn't— he took the selfie.

Yeah, it's pretty great. I watched that happen. Yeah, he ran right by us.

It was awesome.

Someone—

yeah, someone was like, someone just ran on the court and I missed it.

Yeah, he did run like— I know, players were moving down the court too. He just, there was just a guy running. That's so wild. Lemaire, who do you think is looking sharp?

Dude, KAT's looking pretty sharp right now.

Yeah, KAT's looking sharp. I like that.

Yeah, I'll go more on whatever his numbers are.

Okay, yeah, you like KAT.

Wow, nice.

After all that. Please begin with your NBA Finals picks. Make sure the players are playing this week. KAT, you're going with KAT. Yeah. What are you thinking? This is what we're thinking for picks this week. There you go. LeMaher says Katt Moore. Yeah, Katt Moore, 14.5 for Katt. I like that.

I go Moore for sure. Moore.

Yeah. What about— what's Wemby at? He's kind of due tonight, although this will be out, what, tomorrow? Shit.

Yeah, he's due.

He's due.

He's due.

Uh, more or less, which teams or players are getting too much or not enough attention? Who do you think's not getting enough attention, Lamar?

Cat? De'Aaron Fox, he's my favorite player.

You like De'Aaron Fox?

I love De'Aaron Fox. Love the Kings.

Yeah, yeah, De'Aaron Fox needs more attention. Yeah, all right, defense. All right, get in on the action and make your picks from everything— points to rebounds to dunks, three-pointers, and fantasy score— before the NBA champion is crowned. PrizePicks is a preferred partner of the NBA. Uh, download the app today and use code DRENCHED to $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's code DRENCHED to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5. PrizePicks, a preferred partner of the NBA. This is good. Lamar, what's going on with you in your life? Fill us in, man.

Uh, I'm chilling right now, trying to do more. Still chilling? I'm trying to do more shows. I got a cop shirt. I'm gonna do more cop things.

You got a cop shirt? You're gonna do cop?

I'm gonna pretend to be a cop.

You're gonna impersonate an officer?

Yeah, they're gonna draw on you online on the internet.

You're gonna pretend to be a cop on the internet?

Not like for real.

No, I mean, but what are you gonna do?

Just like, just like some— get some— I'm gonna pretend to do a house call for a guy. He's gonna like be yelling at his girlfriend and I'm gonna go over there and like, yo dude, you gotta chill. And then there's a bong, I'm like, take a hit of that. And then he offers me a hit, then we become best friends.

Nice.

Is this a sketch? What are you even talking about?

I'm just thinking of stuff.

I was gonna— you know what would be a funny sketch? If you're the cop and you come in and it's a domestic dispute, and then you also hit the woman. You go, what'd that bitch say? Square up. Okay, yeah, square up then. There you go.

Just let them fight.

Yeah, let them fight.

What's the strong right?

I like that. Is it cop?

Is it—

what kind of cop shirt is it? Like a just a reg— like what cops wear?

No, it's like a It's like a button-down shirt and it says cop right here.

Oh yeah, that is what cops wear. Cop, cop.

It's just cop right over the heart.

Nate, can you hand me that officer's hat over there? Let's get a little preview, little preview for the mayor.

Yeah, you're going to need to— all right, that's cool. You could probably get away with that.

I'm gonna do something good as a cop.

I'm gonna do some get readies with me as a cop.

Get ready with me.

Wow, thank you. Yeah, that's good.

I feel official.

I like the brim looks. No, no, I like it lower.

Wear that with a little thigh rub. Yeah, you're under arrest. Show me your pussy.

Show me your pussy or I'm gonna shoot you.

Uh, could you, like, uh, show me your pussy?

Yeah. No, that's a red light cop.

That's a red light cop for sure.

Just red lights on the top of the car. Yeah. Cop with— He's already handcuffed himself.

He comes down with just red lights.

I have— when cop lights are purple, you know, you ever see those?

I don't think I have.

Oh, okay.

I've never seen—

wait, really?

Because I think those are freaky.

There's like—

yeah, coming to get you.

There's a red light and a blue light, and I think when they like— oh sure, there's like the purple in the middle. That's from the mixing, right?

I would imagine.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're seeing into like—

you're seeing the fractals.

Yeah, it's true.

He's so high.

He's a cargo cop going The purple's in the middle. Purple cop car.

There is purple in the middle.

It must be for the most— yeah, must be for the most high-frequency crimes. Purple police.

How nice is that homeless guy? When we were walking after Noctis back to the mothership, this homeless guy started following us. I saw him, he was like standing in the middle of the street. Yeah. And then when me and Charles walked by, just started had fallen off.

It was like, fuck.

Yeah. And then he was like, can I get some money? And then, uh, a couple lads showed up and we're like, yo, can we get a picture? And then the homeless guy who just went from being like, can I get— it was in behind the picture, like, immediately changed from like, please help, to yeah, just like, yeah, fuck you, fuck you.

Yeah.

No, I think he had a shirt.

He had a shirt.

He might have taken it off.

Yeah, true.

They pop those things off left and right.

You ever talk about this? Something— they grew up on one of the homeless guys.

You what?

Yeah, like grew up with one of the homeless.

Yeah, yeah, he ran into a homeless guy and it was one of his— wow, his broskis.

He said, "Crody, I need a home." He was pretty high on my MySpace, like top 8.

Like, oh, he was top 8?

He was, he was in the top 8. We were, we were real close, but he, he He started trying to be like a thug for fun. Like he had, I don't want to say too much about his life. Sure.

But he had like a good upbringing and he ain't, he ain't need to do that.

And thug for fun gets you in trouble.

We could, uh, I haven't seen him since I saw him. I saw him once walking with Sean.

It's here? Down here?

Yeah, it was like in Austin from like Reading. And one time me and Sean were walking and he pulled up on us and I don't think I've seen him since that day.

Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, it is. I haven't seen you in years.

What's up, dudes? Yeah, I'm homeless.

Can you give me the most high-octane alcohol?

He did, he did get pissed at me because I tried to fist bump him when I saw him because I still had like, you know, yeah, homeless, like, yeah. And then he was like, you're not gonna shake my hand? And I was like, well, now I gotta.

Yeah.

He's right. I mean, you know, whatever.

I wouldn't mind bringing back the MySpace top 8. I know, that'd be nice to see where you stand with people.

Yeah, be honest.

I'd love to be an adult man mad at another adult man being like, yo, I'm not in your top 8.

Remember you got a girlfriend and you had to like move her above your boys so you could get some pussy?

Well, I don't remember that, but I get it. I believe you.

Yeah. Do you, uh, did you— do you pin contacts That's like a top 8. You're only allowed to do 9 of those.

What, on your phone?

Yeah, yeah, you have pinned contacts.

I do.

That's your top 8, dude.

I mean, I'm gonna— this is— I haven't done it in forever.

I think Andy and Nate are my— and Sean, you guys are my top 8 twice.

That's nice. Oh no, wait, that's cool. Taking up those—

Matt Soder, O'Connor, Billy McCusker, and McKeever.

Yeah, that's It's a good one.

I haven't, but this is from like—

I know, I never touched my ears.

Yeah, same. Yeah, yeah, this is a good podcast. I think we're doing good. Yeah, I think we fucking did it again. We killed it again. Well, guard dog, I would like to know what's going on with you. Could you explain why you're so chipper? I know I can't explain it, and I'm kind of worried about it.

I think he's been running.

Have you been running?

Oh yes. Yeah, you told me that.

Nice. I jogged earlier this week.

Yeah, it might be that, my jog on Monday.

Yeah, yeah, dude, residual jog.

Yeah, I'm, you know, it's nice.

I feel good. Yeah, residual jog.

Yeah, I'm working off a residual jog from 2018. That was the last time I jogged.

It's crazy. I still feel good. Yeah, still got that runner's high.

Hell of a workout.

I, uh, I went to 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu today, and then, uh, I walked in and I didn't see any of my friends there, and I just like, yeah, you gotta leave.

You fuck it.

Yeah, I think I gotta leave. These guys are gonna kill me. That's— I walked right back out.

Yeah, that's embarrassing.

Yeah.

You should have hit him with a little thigh rub. Yeah, somebody get— somebody gets full mount, you just go, oh my God, I got bad news for you, bro. Yeah, I'm about to fucking nut. You think you won?

Yeah, that's like a Batman villain.

Yeah, you really are.

The thigh rub.

Well, just a skunk, dude.

Just fucking get close to it. You filth.

Yeah, you can't hurt me. This actually feels better for me.

Yeah, this is what I like.

No matter what type of jiu-jitsu move you put on me, I'm going to go. Yeah, guys, you see that cop who came in his pants at the jiu-jitsu place?

Stop or I'll shoot.

Cop shirt. So what? Yeah, I don't really understand your cop shirt plan.

I'm just gonna— I don't know, I'm gonna put it on, I'm gonna set my phone up, just see what happens. Okay, I don't know, I think it'll be great.

Yeah, you know what, speaking of this, you mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but the food show— food shows Great. You should wear the cop shirt and get free, free meals.

You should start stealing valor at food trucks.

There you go.

Oh, I also think a full military uniform would be awesome. Yes, you'd be like, I'm a— I was a Navy SEAL.

Yeah, you're like, I'm actually—

I'm Dorner. Chris Dorner.

I'm Dorner. They didn't kill me. I got out. Man, did they— they killed the fuck out of him, right? Yeah, they fucking explode that house.

Yeah, it was like— yeah, I remember when they did that, I was like, it's kind of sad how, how they did— they just obliterated.

It's like fucking— yeah, it looked like The Godfather. Yeah, the whole booth. I think you got him, fellas.

Yeah. A, a movable feast.

Yeah, you could be the new— you could don her out in your cop uniform.

Is he the one with the— is he the Tesla guy? No, no, this guy's California though, right?

I think he was California.

He was California. This guy, yeah, you—

I know what he looks like. I know, I know about his manifesto.

Wasn't he like— didn't he like— yeah, I think he shouted out like Chappelle.

Yeah, he would like watch watch stand-up a lot. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm sure, I'm sure a lot of those guys do. Um, but cop shirt, or yeah, full military. And then you go to— are you gonna like go to public places?

He has no idea what— he hasn't thought of any of this. Step one is buy cop uniform.

Yeah, where'd you get it?

Amy Shanker. She had a shirt and I was like, can I buy it from She's like, yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, 15 bucks. Yeah, for a nice cop shirt.

It's nice.

Yeah, and it fits good.

All right, nice.

That's great, dude.

Yeah, cop.

Might need to see it.

Yeah, it's in the car.

We bought it. It's in your car? Yeah, you haven't brought it inside yet?

Not yet.

You're saving it just in case?

Yeah, that's actually— that's nice too. You can put it like in your back window and like be like, I can park here, I'm a cop.

I have a cop shirt. He sees this cop If you get pulled over, you got to put it on real fast. I'm undercover, bro.

Yeah, I don't know.

I was just watching Reno 911 one day and I was like, why don't I do that?

Yes, it's a great way to live. Yeah, it's a good watching show going, I'll do the show that I like. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't need the cameras or a script. I'm just gonna start pretending I'm in Reno 911.

And I am Niecy Nash.

No, you're so happy. It's very nice. The dopers, why are you guys in such a good— do you guys hate Matt?

No, no, no.

What the fuck? Matt's not here and you guys are all so happy.

Yeah, I don't know.

Does he do stuff to you guys?

No.

That's nice.

That's great.

It's been a nice couple days. Yeah, great. That's good. Yeah, when you guys came here yesterday, that was, that was a low point for me. Yeah, I didn't even come out of my room. They came, they set up all the stuff. I, yeah, from my room, I was like, it can't, I can't, I can't move.

But I was leaving, I was like, get well, Shane.

He just went, no. It was, it was a tough one because we drank fucking White Claws. Claws on the way, like White Claws in the van on the way to the game. Tommy move. It was— yeah, yeah, every time I drink White Claws I get very hungover.

Tommy got him.

It was the Surge.

Was the blue cans?

No, it was White Claws. Oh, it wasn't? Oh yeah, yeah, it wasn't. It was regular ones.

What's the Surge?

It's just like 8% White Claws.

Yeah.

Oh God, yeah, that's crazy that they make a version that's—

yeah, yeah, they doubled the formula.

Yeah. That's evil. It's actually—

yeah, that's going straight to bums. Yes. No one else is drinking those. Yeah, the Surge is literally being handed to bums.

I gotta say, it's, uh, I don't know if they're real, but I kind of like those videos where they, they give the homeless like weapons and shit.

It's all the machete one. Yeah, so I'm unwrapping machete.

The guy goes, oh my God, thank you, I could use this.

Yeah, it's probably not the best. Yeah, it's probably a terrible thing.

Yeah, I wish you said I wouldn't know what to do with this.

Yeah, I bet he cuts himself first, like real bad.

He immediately was like swinging it, like he was really good. He was nice with a machete right off the bat. He had a shopping cart and the guy comes over, goes, you want $20 or a gift gift. It was a gift. Machete. He goes, give me that $20.

Oldest trick in the book. How did you not see that coming?

Would you hand me a sword?

The bag's on you.

Yeah, the bag is on him. Now you're empty-handed and dead.

You're getting stabbed. Yeah. With a sword in 2026.

Yeah, give me those Meta glasses too.

Yeah, he took his glasses too.

Nah, but I mean, I'm sure that's the new Blair Witch homeless guy. That's actually a good—

actually, yeah, when we watch it, it looks like, like when the cats— like if you put a GoPro on a cat, some of these cop videos are so good.

Oh yeah, dude. Yeah.

Runs into another guy and they're like— I love those cat videos, they're great, dude.

Yeah, they're making noises I didn't know cats could make.

Give me an example.

Like, like, uh, uh, they got a real high—

What else is going on, guys? What else is in the news other than the Legos and, uh, and the hijacking off AI? Oh yeah, AI that nobody can explain why it's scary.

What else? Yeah, what's the news?

No jobs.

Why no jobs? Water.

Water, I've heard about it. I don't like that.

Water's scary.

Yeah, people's electric costs go up a ton, like if you're near a Data center.

Yeah, if you're near a data center, you're cool.

I just wanna see a man struggle with the life. That's how I feel.

Data centers, jobs.

He's in the dirk and the gerbs.

They're taking their gerbs and then they're giving it to robots. They're giving it to the robots. How do you say robots with a hard R?

They got robots working on like manual labor jobs, like regular factory, just like pick this up, put this down shit.

They always had that though.

But I mean like, What?

Oh, but, uh, now it's automated.

But yeah, it's like a different, like a different version of not just like the arms.

We lost our factories in the '90s.

We were just getting them back. We had like Amazon, still technically a factory.

Yeah, at least it's a job.

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna lose that. Then they're gonna start dropping off the packages with drones.

They were never gonna be outside.

They drop off the package and then they malfunction and kick you in the nuts.

Fly away.

Your old camera just—

yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you get locked out because you're making a face, so it doesn't—

yeah, those, those drone drop-off videos have to become publicly available because they're going to be some of the best videos. Yeah, it's old people like, ah, give me my package, you dumb bird.

Is it really that much cheaper for a drone to drop off off all these things. Like, I don't know how they're gonna long-term—

oh sure, after like 5 years of it, you haven't paid salaries.

Yeah, and also they're charging us for the electricity, so they're not paying for like the energy it costs to create it or use it—

to use the drone.

Yeah, they better fucking do something about that.

I know, dude, we can't, dude. We're in the corporatocracy, dude. Sleepy Donnie, the only way it will work. Sleepy Donnie's up there, dude. Sleepy Don's farting and everyone's acting like he's not farting. I know he's farting, dude. They keep saying it's fake. He's farting.

Finally, we're getting to the bottom of this. Yeah. What, you talking about the video of the, the JD Vans?

There's multiple videos of Donald Trump farting. That's what you say, dude.

Yeah, that's what you say.

Oh yeah, I know, it is funny.

You would be the perfect guy to investigate. It works when they hire, uh, DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. Yeah, you're one of the best farters in the world. Only you can detect if the president's farting.

It's true. I think you will have to go to DC this summer.

I might have to bring you to the— bring you to the White House. I do give you permission to catch a thigh beat in the world.

Yes, dude, that's why it's open to air, dude.

You can't smell the farts in open air.

You think he put it outside so he could fart?

I bet you he sits in like a throne like an emperor or something, away from everybody so he can fart. I'm just—

I'm just— what?

I'm just— what?

What do you think? I'm just saying, dude, he's farting. He's farting, dude.

He's farting.

I believe you. I'm with you on this. I think Trump's farting.

They have to be diabolical farts. He eats McDonald's.

Yeah, those farts must be crazy. 80, grabbing McDonald's, fucking the Filet-O-Fish.

Not even like a big thing. Well, well, well, I think they're all farting.

All right, no, no, keep going.

Yeah, I think they're all farting, dude.

They're all doing it. Yeah, it's true.

Finally somebody's saying it. God, you need to run for office. Just be like, I'm the only guy not farting. Wow.

I—

yeah, I'll fart. I'll tell you about it.

Tell you what, this guy— yeah, he's actually farting.

My opponent?

Yeah, yeah, he's farting right now.

Fucking stinks up here. He's been farting the whole He's been farting the entire time.

That's a good strategy during debate. Yeah, I feel like this guy actually, he just stinks. Yeah, it's a really good one.

Yeah, I don't know how no one's done that. I know, it's mid-debate, be like, dude, I don't know if you guys smell that, he's been farting the whole time, it's fucking gross. And then you get to watch the other guy be like, oh, but sir, sir, Senator, yeah, I did—

I've not—

I have not been farting. I would have called fucking doorknob. Yeah, I would have called fucking safety.

Watch your opponent melt.

Yeah, hit him with the fucking, ew, dude, did you just fart?

It's right in the middle of a question.

People kind of spaz. It happens a lot. Like any car ride or plane ride, if you're just like, dude, you fart? People are just like, no, I did not. You know, I would fucking tell you. I would tell you if I farted. Okay, yeah, just trying to find out who farted. Yeah, the O'Connell man was in there, right? Yeah.

Is he good for not owning up?

Yes, sometimes, but O'Connell man's a dead giveaway when it's him. Oh, he has Trumpian farts. He has farts. You're like, oh my God. I denied one. It was so funny. I've said it before. Before, but there was one time me and O'Connor were living together in Queens, and I was on the couch. He was on the other side. He was like from me to Nate. I farted, and within one second he was across the room. He was like, oh, did you fart? I was like, no, it was just me and him. I just lied. I had to come clean. I was like, I can't believe that hit you. That thing launched across the room. It was like a silent fart. Yeah, then one second later he was like, oh, he was standing in the doorway, man. I found— I was looking through my phone at old videos from when we lived in New York, me, Tommy, and Chris, and it is really funny. Yeah, El Con Man was on one in New York, dude. It was crazy. Yes, he would just wear like giant baggy Rocky shorts. He would wear like American flag gym shorts and just stand and eat and shit.

He's just hammered. I'd come home, they'd be playing fucking virtual video games.

Yeah, everyone shut the fuck up.

Chris and Tom, one would be in the kitchen, one would be in the living room, and they'd be screaming at each other. Like, it's fucking— get the ammo!

Fuck, fuck! VR helmet.

Shit face. Tommy was getting fucking shit-faced. God forbid, guys. God forbid people love you. Oh, you're hammered, dude. As soon as it left his fucking lips, I was like, oh, you're drunk, dude. God forbid. There's fucking guys asking for autographs. Sucks. God forbid people love you. Oh, you're drunk. This is 11:00 AM. I was like, you're drunk, dude. That's crazy. You're drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What else you got? You got one, Nate. Come on.

Nothing. I'm excited about the game tonight. That's—

the game's going to be fun.

That's all I'm Um, I can't wait to watch.

I'm gonna try to give Josh Hart a high five. Oh my God, that's my man, my man!

Oh my God, hitting that at the Finals courtside would be nice.

I'm not, I'm not courtside tonight. I'm running out of money. I can't keep going to these games.

Yeah, that's all I got. Nothing.

All right, we've, we've, we've done it. I think people are going to really enjoy it. Lamar, Charles, what a treat.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Thank you for having me.

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