Transcript of Side Stories: Pizza Party

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories. Yes. Because I was trying to work on my Robin Leach before this.

Yeah? Can you give me a... Let me see what you got.

It's like, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

It's almost It's like you got to be more of an asshole. It's like, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

He was a big part of my childhood.

Yeah, all of us. We love looking at big houses.

Oh, my God. We were fascinated with it. Robin Leach was the very first impersonation I ever did as a little boy. We actually have a home video of me going around the house, going like, Opulence, share opulence, and then going Then there's a photo. Honestly, it was- It is a funny bit.

It's wonderful. Knowing what your house looks like. Oh, of course. Yeah, of course.

Then I, on camera, took a thing of my mom's favorite perfume, her big fancy perfume. I was been like, Can you even imagine it's Stinky Bleach? I kept calling it Stinky Bleach, and I dropped it. I dropped it, it exploded all over because Jackie was holding the camera the whole time. It fucking went everywhere. Then I was trying to all mix it up, trying to clean it up. Then obviously, my mom comes home. I forgot what it was. She was like, Out. It just reeks. She's like, What'd you do? We're like, Nothing.

Nothing. I don't do nothing.

She's like, You were playing with the video camera. I was like, Maybe. Yeah, whatever.

We make videos. We're fun.

Puts the video in. It was this wonderful moment of them all watching me destroy the thing on camera and have all the evidence of it on camera.

Were you just waiting for a way to refute it, even though you just knew it was about to happen?

Do we not understand, mother, how media can be manipulated? Immediately.

I'm going to see you eating the VHS tape.

That's how Robin Leach first taught me to cover up crime. Times. Yes. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How are you doing? And honestly, and it's not code at all, crazy, our cheese pizzas just got here. My question is, did the grape get here yet? Is my grape soda You didn't get the grape? I have a pizza glove, though. Oh, my pizza glove. Thank you so much.

Great, great, great. No fingerprints on the pizza.

No, no, no. Actually, Eddie- Oh, it's a dildo hand. Can you please give me a big... Look at this big fun pizza glove.

What is this?

Oh, God. What a great pizza glove.

Is this really what we're spending the new budget on?

Can you please bring me a big, nice slice of pizza? Here we go. Oh, Champ wants some pizza. Oh, he's very young. But that's never stopped anybody from having pizza before. That's for fucking certain. Oh, nothing I like better than a thin, wasted, prepubished slice of pizza. Still hot like it's from the fires of hell.

I'm eating mine without protection. I'm going wrong, wrong dog in mine.

I don't care what I get from this. No condoms. Must be Bill Gates.

Bill Gates. You dirty fucking nerd. I heard they're going to change his name to Bill Gapes. Hey, come on. All right. What are we doing here?

How many spots is he? Do you remember when Bill Gates was really concerned about drinking Poopoo water? Now I know why. Hey, he loves it. Now, I know why. That fucking pervert was so excited to drink piss legally in front of everybody. He created a whole fucking charity around him.

Honestly, they made the doc. It's on HBO, and they put a bunch of shit into a machine, and then he drink the water with a big smile on his face. Can you take this- I don't care.

Can you take this pizza and can you actually bury it over in the back of the ranch?

Yeah, if you don't mind.

If you don't mind, if you could dig a shallow grave and put some of those pizzas over behind where the ranch ends in New Mexico.

Or if it's too much, St. Lucia Island will be fine.

If you could. Also, St. Bartz is a way to get there as well. If you could also maybe park that over on Elon's fucking plane. Guys, oh my lord.

Oh, what a gift.

I just- You said a gift.

Finally, we got some shit we can use.

What's hard is that we're obviously going to be talking quite a bit about the new dump of Epstein files. Can we hit that, Stinger, please? It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure. See?

Heck, yeah.

It's Jeffrey time. No. We couldn't be happier because this is just confusing. It's upsetting. I'll tell you that the reading of the files over the weekend-Oh, my God.

It's crazy. It's just like, here's just a bunch of shit, and then search randomly. It's insane.

Well, what we're doing now here is, first, before we even get into it, I want to acknowledge, number one, the large One of the big smoking guns about this whole fucking thing is the fact that most context has been stripped from this entire dump. The only work that our current administration has done to whittle any of this down is to I believe they have a certain chunk of it they've held on their own. We now have something like three and a half million files. There was another dump this morning that they say are, Oh, we went through all this, blah, blah, blah. They obviously did not. It is massive flood of stuff that they have released, having stripped the context from in order to confuse you. They want you to believe, much like our wonderful president got on his plane while he was in the middle shitting his pants and thinking about rape, He said, This exonerates me. That was his whole thing, right? Because he thinks in his head that they've now flooded the zone. The problem is that when you flood the zone, you should think sometimes what you're flooding the zone with.

Because I think Some of these guys really think they're amazing villains, and it's just wonderful to see how bad they are at every single fucking incident.

It's really crazy.

It's barely redacted. It's using some AI programming, which is horrific. I will say, if you're skimming through these files, one of the worst things in it is the random teenage nudity because there's quite a bit of it because they are catching it as they go. Have you seen it? No, thankfully. I've just been very pointedly going into very specific pockets because I'm trying to... There was It's one line of thought that I'm going to talk about today that I wanted to put together. But that whole place is a fucking spider web of horrible, horrible shit.

What are they doing to redact all that stuff?

They are just slowly but surely catching it as they can. It shows They didn't bet it in the fucking first place.

They really didn't.

No. We're now in the moment of they think that they have to- If we see the kids, are we able to...

I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I got a million questions. If they see the kids, can they tell who they Yeah, I mean, especially if you're a fan.

You know what I mean? It really depends on how big you are into the scene. But these guys... Yeah, because what we know about CSAM, unfortunately, is that it's like Pokémon. You got to go and get the cards, right? Got 'em, got 'em, need 'em, got them, need them, got them scenario where guys are collectors of various pieces of CSAM. Also, another really good way to get through all of this material is go to jmail. Word. Okay. Jmail. World.. World. Jmail. World. That is another place that you could go and search all of the Jeffrey Epstein emails in a Gmail-style format. Some genius has put this together, and it is absolutely fascinating because you can really very easily read it.

You pretend like it's your own inbox.

Yeah, but then you're now your Jeffrey Epstein.

That's the worst video game ever. Yeah, it's really bad. You're Jeffrey Epstein's accountant.

Well, let's just say all these guys have some of the worst OPSEC abilities I've ever seen across the board. These guys are just emailing each other openly about rape, buying prostitutes, doing all... They're just asking for it. We now know one of the big things is the Elon Musk is a loser.

Oh, my God.

Begged to be on the island.

He's so annoying, he can't even be a pedophile.

They wouldn't... Think about this. He's a guy so lame, he kills the vibe of the rape island. You Everybody's there to sexually assault someone, and they're like, God, he just really takes me out of the mood. I think it's his hair cut. It's like it's something about his bird-shaped body going like, Hi, yes. Hello. Have you fucked? Do you fuck? Do you like to fuck? I most certainly like to fuck her, as you can see.

It was so funny. I was watching The Daily Show, and they caught that the email was sent on Christmas.

Oh, my God. Which I get. It's a boring day, especially when you're stupid fucking kids. Then also, his daughter straight up ratted him out and said, Yeah, we were on Saint Bart that day. Because now, one thing we've learned from these emails is the fact that the reason why Elon Musk was not seen on private plane logs going directly to the island, the reason why President Trump probably was not seen going directly to the island, Bill Clinton, all these guys that were definitely on the island, Bill Gates, is because what they would do is that they would fly to neighboring islands.

And then take a boat over.

No, they'd fly in. Boats can be tracked even more easily than planes. The problem is that you go up this... Ghislaine Maxwell got so into this method of hiding all the traveling, she got a pilot's license so that she herself could pick people up from St. Bart's and transport them to the island so that nobody would know who was coming in and out.

Can't find good help these days.

It's so hard because everybody just breaks the NDA. Aren't CEOs vulnerable? Aren't they? That's one big thing we know. We know that Trump definitely, God knows what he did. I think that they were now also starting seeing that Trump was one massive predator that got into the circle of Epstein's predator world and actually disrupted the flow of his predator world.

Correct me if I'm wrong, isn't he in the files more than anyone else?

Who?

Trump.

Yeah. Well, also because Epstein was personally obsessed with Trump. Because one big lesson that also seems to come out is everybody was super worried about Trump winning, which seems like the opposite for a bunch of people that love the idea of griffs and child molesters being in charge of things. They're all child molesters. The fact that they were all super not into Donald Trump becoming president should really show you he's not a good guy.

But what, Banon's playing both sides then?

Oh, yeah, very much so. Donald Trump has mentioned more than 38,000 times, and this is just in this dump. Again, remember, they believe this exonerates him because he's just so honest. One of the big trains of thought that came out of this was a... It's stuff that is hurting my brain.

It is hard to process all this shit. It's fascinating and boring all at the same time.

Natalie and I had a conversation yesterday where I was like, Why am I pissed? I'm walking around pissed and angry. She's like, What would your therapist ask you? I said, Probably like, What are you reading and watching? I have been reading and watching nothing mainlining Epstein fucking financial shit and all of his back and forth, all the videos, watching videos of him check his face for herpes sores. You see those videos? No. It's just videos of his face, and he's obviously checking this. He has a cold sore in his fucking lip. Of course he does. Yes. He was got plenty. So it's him checking it. All those photos of Prince Andrew over all fours, over a blank-face girl who had her face all Xed out. Meanwhile, dude, you should see this fucking shit, dude. There's Prince Andrew on all fours, over a girl. He's covered in sweat.

You look at the photo- Well, he's covered in sweat when he eats a crumpet.

But you remember, he says legally he can't sweat. So he is glistening with sweat. He looks like a fucking rabid pig.

Yeah, well, this is an old picture.

Yeah, you're right, Eddie. You're right.

This is old. This is old news.

This should have worked harder on this one. No, this one, but then they cut to the other... Look in the background. In the background of this picture.

Is that an American flag casket?

It is an American flag tablecloth in which people are putting their feet on the tablecloth while they all rape children together. It's a Guns N Roses album cover. God, damn. You're looking at a... That's like, what's the one with the guy with the big fucking cigar made out of money? What was the name of that album? Is that Motley Crew? Yeah.

Dude, why? See, the thing is, all right, I used to be a criminal, and my brain always goes back, Why are you taking pictures?

Because they were so convinced They were entirely untouchable, and the whole point was the pictures.

Well, apparently they are.

Jeffrey Epps. It's almost because it took one of them to die. That's all. God, why did you choose your most special angel to go? Oh, because he just fell on that rope. Yes. That was one of the craziest falling on a rope scenarios I've ever seen. You ever see the... Do you see the recently released pictures of his neck?

No.

It looks like he was garotted. Really? Oh, it's very interesting. This is This is a tidbit. I got this from Garbage Day. This is a really great sub stack that I follow, and it's a really fun talk about information, technology information. One of the things that they caught in this is, so we talk about stripping of context.

Okay.

One of the big ultimate themes of Jeffrey Epstein, his communication with various connection people all over the world, is this idea of buying into world collapse. This is a quote from Peter Thiel. Brexit, just the beginning. He then laid out this plan that directly, literally what they're doing. Remember Peter Thiel, Joe Rogan's best friend? Yeah. Paypal. Yeah, his pay, all these guys, right? He said, Return to tribalism, counter to globalization, amazing new alliances. You and I both agreed zero interest rates were too high. As I said in your office, finding things on their way to collapse was much easier than finding the next bargain. What they're learning is that you're going to... They now start to realize instead of waiting for all of these various hostile takeovers and all these businesses selling businesses to each other and all this type of shit. They just realize, Oh, if we just destroy the world itself and then buy the dip, we'll make a lot of money.

But what's the point of having money if the world sucks?

Because then you're the only one to have money. Then when you're You're the only ones who have money and you have all the technology and you have all the power and you have all the armies and you have all the health care, you can then just tell everybody whatever it is you want about the money. Then you also can eventually choose to make sure some people have no money at all. You can kill whole swaths swaths of human beings because guess what they were all really interested in? Eugenics. One of the big long conversations that Jeffrey Epstein was with a scientist by the name of Yosef Bach, who was a tech researcher and influencer, is the guy that they were talking back and forth about highly racist ideas about Black people's IQs. Also, Noam Chomsky. Yes. Love that. Love those theories talking about Black people's IQs, talking about how they were made to be dumber, that White people were naturally ascendant, that women don't choose to do math because, quote, it does not yield social attention, and that maybe uncontrolled climate change is a really good way to deal with overpopulation. Yes. So these guys are already the plans in.

This is one of the big plans. We're now seeing these guys talk about this out loud. Now, normally- They're like Thanos if he fucked kids. And think about how cool Thanos was in the fact that he didn't fuck any kids. That's the bar now. That's true. Right, Thanos, was he a pedophile? No. No. Did Thanos, was he had a- He did steal a child. But yes, he- He adopted her.

That's nice.

Did he have a girlfriend? I know. Also revealed in the files, Howard Stern, Woody Allen's mortal enemy. Oh, yeah.

Jeffrey Epstein, because I was just- Boxed out Howard Stern. I was just searching random names. I was like, All right, Howard Stern. Immediately just searching all my titles. So I'm like, Howard Stern, please don't show up. Then it was Jeffrey Epstein emailing Sun Yee asking if he should invite Howard over to see them. She said, Howard is a mortal enemy. Yeah, I love that. Because he's on Mia side. I love that fucking shit.

Yeah. Epstein also- So it's still okay. Through these scientists, Epstein also helped fund an organization formerly known as the World Transhumanist Association with this guy named nick Bostrom, who's an AI-obsessed philosopher, these guys. They want to create a post-human world. The goal was to Great. Also, if you watched any of the... I beg you, try. I watched the Epstein interview with Steve Banon, the two-hour chunk that was out.

With just the two of them talking?

Yes. Another leet motif of this whole thing is what we all think of as the most powerful, smartest, strongest people in the world talking high juniors in high school. It's just shithead Epstein waxing philosophic about where does energy go when you die? There's no energy. Where does the energy transfer go? They're talking about it in these high-minded terms like it's the first time they're ever hearing these dumb concepts. Then stuff like, he says, I thought really interesting is that, see, women have a romantic view of the world, and they understand emotion and art and design. They can't be pulled into all of this science and economics and stuff. Women can't handle it, which is another example of Jeffrey Epstein viewed women, and all of these guys viewed women as vessels for their come. Except for Ghislaine. Well, Ghislaine... No, no. Ghislaine was only... You got to remember, Ghislaine was just like how LBJ said, the idea that you made the lowest white man feel lower than any black man, then you got him in your pocket for the rest of your life. Ghislaine, any bottom bitch, if you're listening to any... If you're listening to that, the Willa ask Good Dave Chappelle special, the idea is that your bottom bitch needs to know if she feels like she's super important, that she's outside of your judgment sphere.

But actually, she's at the very fucking top of it because she has to be. Because if not, just like, Maxwell gets shot in the back of the fucking head. And guess what? She gets immediately replaced by somebody else.

I'm surprised she's still alive.

I mean, it's just because she's in jail. And I largely think it's reverse misogyny.

Well, he was in jail. They killed his ass.

I think it's reverse misogyny. I think you're literally watching misogyny's decide that the female sexual... The female sex trafficker is not worth the fucking bullet. Yeah.

They are- And she's going to get out at some point.

Oh, yeah. Who knows?

Who knows what she's going to- Because she's only got, what, 15 years left, 17 years left, something like that?

She'll run to Israel or something. She's going to go to one of those places. Now, we actually wonder, another big thing that came out is that Epstein basically said that Robert Maxwell was whacked by the Mossad. We should know because he probably is Mossad.

Right from your grave.

Here's the other big story.

There's lots of big stories. Lots of big stories. There's lots of big stories.

There is a lot of smoke about Epstein's connection to 4chan. Yes. And Paul. Now, this is interesting. He was first, I guess, after he got arrested, Jeffrey Epstein was super butt-hurt about the way people were talking about him.

The first arrest?

Yeah. In 2008. In 2008. He was super butt hurt because he was just like, These people don't understand. They don't know what I'm like. They don't know what I do. Have you ever listened to Epstein talk? I love, in a way, when you listen to Epstein talk, it's pretty fucking crazy.

I got it instead of a white noise machine. It's a little better.

He's like a little better because you're a bit of coins guy. You're going to look like this. You're not going to do the thing. He keeps it real. He sounds like a mobster. Hearing him talk about it is fascinating. But he got sick of the way people were talking about him because he's like, Yeah, I'm a sex offender, but I'm a sex offender with a goal. Why can't people see that?

He tried to get off the sex offender registry.

I know that much. Well, we know that he spent a significant amount of time hiring people to hack Wikipedia.

$1,000 a day or something?

Yes. In order to change, to get him off the sex offender's part of Wikipedia. We know that he did that. A part of this is he started really getting into the internet. Up until this time, he was on the outskirts. He was really getting interested of whitewashing his entire operation through the sciences. He was trying to stick his way through. One way he found in was in the world of World of Warcraft. So he spoke with the guy- I knew I hated that game.

Absolutely.

It's very fascinating. He was super close with a guy named Brock pierce, who was a cryptocurrency entrepreneur. They did this thing with some stablecoin. It's all these Bitcoin bullshit things. This is when he really started getting all the Bitcoin, all this, all of this shit, cyber money. He basically pitched this idea to Activision CEO Bobby Kotyk about in-game currency. He had this idea of, first of all, you can create these trade markets within games. He's the reason why your games fucking suck. Yes. Like, literally.

He's the reason you got to buy skins and shit like that.

Because a part of it was this, I guess, this overarching idea that he had, again, big goals, that he thought that he would change the educational programs of our country by turning the whole thing into a giant video game. That legitimately, they believe that eventually where Epstein wanted to take all education from, he was a high school teacher, so he knows. He wanted to put kids in VR helmets where they're playing video games for money to get academic success.

I mean, sounds like a good plan.

It's actually not a bad idea. But it's like that was one thing, right?

So that's where he really- We used to play Math Blaster. Of course..

That's where he started to get into it. But that was when he was talking to journalist Michael Wolf, that brave journalist.

God damn, man. Talk about someone He should be first locked up sitting on all this shit for all these years.

All these fucking years, man.

Just sitting there making your Instagram videos and your turntal neck sipping tea like a fucking piece of shit. Oh my God. I hate that Michael Wolf. I hate him so fucking much.

I can't stand that, dude. He needs a fucking deck.

I want to pull his pants down and slap him in the hine. That's what he deserves. He does like a public spanking.

His bullshit old lady art director glasses. I want to punch those glasses through your fucking face.

I want to grab your lips and fucking pull him off your face like I'm a chimpanzee.

Fucking you wish you could suck dick. Michael Wolf, he helped Epstein on media strategy. One of the things they realized was that in the advent of 2017, right after the New York Times published the article about Harvey Weinstein all over the files, Good Friend, which jumpstarted the #MeToo movement, which they all refer to as the old boomer version, Time's Up. They had this idea of being birthed from within them, within these emails, house is, Oh, I bet you we can push this #MeToo movement 10 years away. That was the plan. That's the idea. That's where it started. Then the way we're going to do that, we're going to take over the internet. They had a lot off the ideas. Who knows exactly how it played out?

I mean, what are you talking about? The world's a fucking mess. 4chan exists. The president got elected twice.

All we know is that... Now we'll tell a little bit of this story. There's a guy named Christopher Pooh, who created 4chan, who's also known as Mute. For those of you, we all know we're not going to get into all the thing about 4chan. We know that when in 2011- Treat me like I don't know shit because I'm just learning a lot of this now. Great. It's an image board A lot of horrible shit, neutral shit, old-school internet, backbone of the old-school internet. Pre-read it. Pre-read it.

I know it's evil, and I stayed off it because I knew it was evil. Then 4chan became 8chan or whatever.

8chan, 8 Coon, all these different things. It changes into a bunch of things. It's just an image board. That really started as an anonymous and independent way to speak amongst ourselves on the internet. I still believe that that is good. We do need that. Full free speech needs to be available. That's how we're even going to be able to talk about this shit soon if they put us in a fucking martial law or whatever. I understand that, but it's inherently corruptible, and now we see why, because these guys eventually want to do it to make some money.

Well, unfortunately, it was just filled with images of naked children and murder, right?

Well, honestly, it was a real mixture of honest. There was both. There's all of it.

Because that's where you got a lot of your alien stuff, too, right?

It was the internet itself. It was the entirely neutral face of the internet, which is neither good nor bad.

Well, I think when you're entirely neutral, you're bad.

Well, the idea is that I agree. The problem is that you're corruptible. That is really the issue is that you're corruptible. When he was in 2011, we know that for a while, Christopher Pooh did not want 4chan to become full-on political. For a while, there was a thing called New, and they had a bunch of things on there, and he was going back and forth about doing it because then eventually, Pooh was created which stood for politically incorrect, which we now know as the staging ground for Gamergate, 2016, Trump's entire grassroots campaign, and all of the far-right populism that we're still seeing. Chewenon, Pizzagate, all that. Pepe the Frog, all that shit, which I still feel bad for Pepe the Frog. He was taken from us. Now, a version- It's not a great drawing.

It was cute. It was fun. If we can give up something, it's Pepe.

It's fine. He's already gone. He's gone. He's already gone. Eventually, he says, Paul shut I found new in January 2011, telling users at the time, As for new, anybody who used it knows exactly why it was removed. When I reedded the board last year, I made a note that it had devolved into Stormfront. I'd remove it. Stormfront was one of the oldest neo-nazi communities on the web. For a while, he was trying to say, I don't want to deal with this. All of a sudden, he just turns pull back on. Why? October 20th, 2011, a guy named Boris Nikolik, who's a venture capitalist, I guess he was also an advisor to Bill Gates. Nasty guy. Man, Bill Gates, good and fucking what a liquor. Who knew he was so freaky, man?

Microsoft also describes his penis.

Actually, I would consider it to be micro hard. The This came out. We don't really know. Now we see there's this weird thing. Boris Nikolik, he sent Epstein, the Wikipedia page for Christopher Pooh, writing, There is a cool guy, kid, that you should meet. Nikolik then followed up saying, How did you like Mute? He's very sensitive, so be gentle. So Epstein got back to him. I liked him. I liked him a lot. I drove him home. He is very bright. Epstein replied, Nikolik went on to write that, Oh, he will be a friend. And that he is, quote, one of the greatest hackers. He's simply one of the greatest hackers in the whole world. And you can't be surprised what he would hack into. It would seriously blow your mind. So according to Epstein's emails, they said that seemed to be the only time they got together. They actually were having a hard time getting together because Christopher Pooh, just like Epstein, was super, super secretive and did not like meeting. And so it was like they were going back and forth. There seemed to be quite a bit of email exchanges between their various teams.

We know in 2017, he was on 4chan. Epstein loved 4chan because he loved- No way. He loved Five Nights at Freddie Porn.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. So he was in the games?

He was in a lot of stuff. Yeah. He did a lot of stuff.

We're talking about all this. Where's Julian Assaj? Where's Snowdon? Where's Anonymous? Where are they helping us out on this?

No, nothing. Doing nothing. They're just sitting there. They're just sitting. They're just sitting. They're not talking about it because they were on the guys that took this up. We know that Steve Bannon was involved. They're saying here, essentially, these are very coincidental dates. Very, very coincidental dates. They meet between October 20th and 24th. On October 23rd, 2011, poll is reopened. There was some discussion. It seems that they now realized that they were buying into the... They want to start creating havoc, and they are going to use it to create havoc. That's this idea. But now we're really wondering, are they fully connected or not?

I mean, of course they are.

It does seem like it, Eddie. Yes, of course.

It helps them. You said that they were constantly using pizza as a euphemism.

Well, this is so... Now it seems to be this is the next wrinkle. There's a lot of pizza euphemisms. This is why now everybody's going nuts and why all of us who spent years trying to walk back Pizzagate are sitting here wanting to fucking pluck our eyeballs out because it is very confusing.

We were just pointed our face at the wrong people.

The people who said, Oh, the idea that there was a secret code system amongst Democrats to go fuck a bunch of kids in the basement of Comet Pizza, and that they use all these things amongst each other. That was this propped up part of the Q-anon, like, conspiracy world. Then we also now that went on when that little... Was it a little potato guy? Who's the guy in the shape of a potato who created Q-Anon? Who's the little guy? Who's the little guy? Who's that little fucker? Alex Jones. I'm going to have a little person. Ron Watkins. Yeah, Ron Watkins, right? That little shit head. He, I think, began... Ron Watkins was the full-size guy. Ron Watkins is the full-size guy that worked with him. Okay. Who's the little guy? Who's the little muchky guy?

Small man. A little tiny. Q&on creator, small man.

A little tiny guy. What's his name? Keep going. I'll find him. He's like a baked potato. He's like a baked potato filled with fucking rage. He's a little fuckface. Jeff Sucker? Yeah. We know that those guys larped as Q-Anon, and then it went past itself. What I think is that it started from up top. They seeded these things from up top. Then Epstein, in the emails with all these people, start, ironically, Using pizza talking about, and it absolutely is code. Yes. It is absolutely code. He says many times, Do you want pizzas there? And guess where it all comes from?

Where?

Think That's not how stupid this is. So apparently the night, this is partially conjecture, partially a thing I've been put together from reading.

Yeah, well, it's all conjecture at this point. We're still figuring everything out.

Where the pizza thing came from is an inside joke amongst Epstein and his compatriots. Based upon the night that Donald Day Trump met Melania, they were at some function. In the middle of this function, Donald Day Trump is fucking his sex worker, soon to be wife, in another room. I thought it was on the plane. Yes. He keeps coming in and out of the room saying, My God, what a piece of ass. He says it over and over again to the point where they use it as short term for every single time they were going to talk about women, and it shortened to pizza.

Wow! My God!

That's how fucking stupid it is.

Yeah, because Epsine introduced Trump to Melania? Yeah. Wow.

They weren't friends, though. Anybody introduces their wives to each other, they're definitely friends. Yeah. Frederick Brennan. That's the little guy. That's the little fucking piece of shit.

Is he still alive? Against all odds, I'd say yes. Yeah, he's out there, man.

Someone needs to throw him in a wood chipper or something.

I feel like this guy is just going to implode.

To begin another one, did you see the pictures of Stephen Hawking on the island?

No.

Look up Stephen Hawking with teenagers. Look at the pictures. Dude, you got to see some of these pictures of him on this island, man. They fop them out of the chair, dude. He looks like they're on fucking... It looks like they're on vacation with ugly spaghetti. That guy is such a fucking fucking pervert. That is so perverted, man. Stephen Hawking was such a pervert. He could fuck you from his... Was he fucking with his knees?

Well, that's why he had the joystick extender on his...

Let me bring your help, see, call the server. Bring your help, see, call the server. Bring your help, see, call the server. Wow, what a fucking sack of shit. They should have let him spin in that fucking... They should have threw him out of the airlock of that space shuttle he was in. See if he fucking bounces off the moon.

I think Eddie Redman needs to make a sequel where he just begs a bunch of kids.

Where's Eddie? Eddie Redman? If you want to redeem yourself in my eyes, Stephen Hawking on the Island, fucking Weekend at Bernie's. Him having to convince people he can still fuck. Hold it him up. Oh, my God, buddy. Eddie Redmayne, you have the best- You could save your whole career, even though it's doing great. I will literally give to any charity of your name. I'll give it to any charity you ask Eddie Redmayne if you do this. I need you to... Can we at least...

I think you got... I could say you got money on making this movie.

Can someone Photoshop them into the pictures? Can we at least do that? Can someone at least Photoshop them into the actual pictures of Stephen Hawking under the aisle? Sitting on his shoulders. Can we please just take him out of that and I'm going to put him in there. Oh, my God. Yes. That would be the most popular Eddie Redmayne would ever be.

That is the- There's lots of other stuff, though. He's obsessed with comedians. I feel like we have to bring this up.

Yes, we do. We now know that Jeffrey favorite comedian was Louis Black. Yes. He spent a lot of time trying to court Louis Black. Louis Black, too strong. Yes. He went to dinner there. If anybody spent a lot of time watching standup in the '90s, you probably know Bobby Slayton. Bobby Slayton, he was really into it, right?

Bobby Slayton was like their guy, it seems like.

Bobby is a great old-school standup comedian that did- The Nasty Show at Montreal. Yes, and he was fired, and he said- For being too nasty. I guess, or whatever. Just for Laughts, which I also find hilarious. My fellow comedians, just so you know, guess who went to Just for Laughts several times? Jeffrey Epstein.

And guess who loved- You probably hung out with him. You have no idea.

Dude, you have no fucking idea. He loved Gilbert Godfried. He saw Gilbert Godfried a lot. He saw who is it. And again, just because they're there doesn't mean that there's anything untoward happening.

It's just like the ditty parties. People show up to a party. I've been invited places and be like, Hey, this is weird. I should leave.

I do find it interesting that Louis Black did happen to mention that Prince Andrew was there having a great fucking time. That corroborates a bunch of stuff that he says that he was never... Oh, they're all never that close. Meanwhile, and then Louis Black is also talking about... Because in his mind, he's a certain that they have to be of age. But he kept saying there were these extremely young-looking, would seem to be European models just everywhere. It's all because Jeffrey Epstein is a fucking loser. They had a to convince all these other losers that he was a ladies' man by paying for it. All of these guys had to pay for it. They all were such tremendous losers.

All right, so here's something that I can't stop thinking about. This is obviously me just hypotheses out into the world. When are they going to start digging up the island? When are they going to start digging up the ranch and looking for bodies?

They don't want to.

That's what's got to happen next.

It's owned by new people now.

Who owns it?

It's some guy.

But seriously. Yeah, I don't know. We know some victims, but they had to have killed some of them.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Epstein, there are several things he alludes to in all of the emails about murdering people, torturing people. I think a lot of it's euphemistic, but legitimately, he talks about it quite often. They talk about burying people. They talk about all these sorts of stuff, and I would not put it past them. It just seems like it happened. Also, Robin Leach was apparently strung the girl, which I don't think is true. I have no idea. Anything in That spreadsheet document, I just want to say- If he did it, it was like a silk scarf. Unfortunately, only with Cartier.

What do we know about Steven Deckoff? He's the guy who bought the island.

I don't know a heck of a lot about him. I really don't.

Is he in there? Let's look for him. Rob, can you do that? Just find the proper- Stefan, S-T-E-P-H-E-N, Deckoff.

But let's go back to the comedians. I do want to talk a little bit more just because I find it really interesting. He was obsessed with older Jewish comedians, as you can imagine. He loved... He said, name them right. Woody.

Woody was his guy.

So Woody Allen was... They were very, very, very close. And Woody Allen was the- Man, any little bit of doubt anyone had is so far out the window. He can fucking... I want him floated out on a raft into the middle of the Atlantic.

I just hate the years I spent defending this man because I thought he was funny.

It makes me insane. He needs to be put into a raft and he'd be like, Oh, God, I can't even... Oh, what is even this even happening? He is the most fun man to torture, probably. Yeah, fucking... Somebody do it already. These guys- This is like going to find Nazis when they're '99.

Who gives a shit?

Lock them up. Lock them up. Woody Allen was used as bait for many comedians. So he would use Woody Allen as a way to get comedians to come over because people were interested. Obviously- They want to meet Woody. Yes, because unfortunately, guys, I'm going to let this... Don't project this onto me, obviously. Comedians, I think, of all of the artists, might be the most corruptible because we start so innocent.

We're just little guys. I think it's because we're ugly.

Yeah. We're ugly, we're gross, we're socially awkward. Then one day you figure out how to weaponize your own personal, your security blanket. You learn to weaponize it. I think some guys, they They stay that bitter little nerd their whole life, and then they just want to hurt people and then can't wait to tell the whole world to go fuck themselves as soon as they can get enough money to do it. They're very easily bought. Well, not just that.

As a comedian, I've noticed over the years people will come up to you and just say the worst thing possible because they think you'll think it's funny.

Well, how many times? You, how many times? As soon as you say you're a comedian, they hit you with the F words and all the shit. It just gets to a point where like, Listen, bro, you don't know me. You have no idea who I am. Comedian doesn't just mean code for horrible predator. Not anymore, guy. We're trying to turn it back, guys.

We're trying to turn it back. It's a new day.

It's a new day. How did he get left out of the death pool. Woody Allen, because he doesn't deserve the... Fuck, he doesn't deserve it.

He ain't going to die. He's too much of a hyperchondriac. I bet he takes care of himself.

Look at the old whispering Jewish man as he sits in his natural habitat.

I want to start investigating anyone over 90. Because I feel like awful people live forever.

Oh, yeah, dude. Of course. Look at Catherine O'Hara as an exact example. She got sick and died immediately.

Because she worked too hard.

Because she cared too much because she had a fucking soul. That's the problem. The soul is a fucking liability in this industry. I think a lot of it is he was a fan. You listen to these guys talk about stuff. It's just funny Because they're all over. Mark Maron said no. The first time I've ever liked him.

What do you mean? He says no all the time. They invited him to the island?

They invited him just to dinner, and he said no. Honestly, I think you're right. He's just antisocial.

Yeah, he just doesn't like hanging out with people. He always says no. I'm trying to get him on a podcast. I'm trying to book him on a show. He said no to me. Actually, he didn't answer. No, exactly.

At least he said no to Jeffrey Epstein. So he got out That was one of the only times I've liked him. But you know what I'll say?

He said no to Saudi.

He did say no to Saudi. Yeah.

He's got a moral compass, man.

But also, what is he going to do? What is his material? Is this material going to go well in Saudi? No. Is he going to do anything? No. Is he going to do that? Is he going to bring his notebook out in Riyadh. I don't think it works like that.

He's the only one in the chair.

Yeah, it's not how. That's not the vibe of the entire night. I don't think so. All of this to say is that they're going to now try to say about the files that they are too complicated. They're going to say that all of it is disproven. They're going to say a lot of stuff in the next couple of weeks. I would like for you to use your own... This is the only really time I will say this. Use your own brain and try to see where things match up. Just try to look at it and understand what they've done here is that they've removed, they've stripped the context away from all things so that you will look Look stupid or crazy talking about it. I know because no one wants to fucking talk to me anymore. Because it's the only fucking thing I talk about anymore. I've been talking about it for fucking days. I've talked about it to every single person I've seen. You've been talking about it for years. I've been talking about it for years. I'm talking about it so much.

You read an 800-page book.

Dude, we were at it- Whispering horrible things on a plane that I wish you didn't say. We legitimately were at a hotel, and Eddie and I saw an obvious sex worker, and it took all of my strength to not go up to sex worker and say, go home. You need to go home before somebody fucking kills you, lady. Somebody's going to fucking shoot you in the head, lady. They don't care about you, lady. You got to go. Go anywhere.

She seemed nice. Justice. Gov/epstein. Go search, fuck around for a little bit, pick some names, just start reading emails. It's just fascinating to see someone as evil as him and how he talks and rants. He talks like we do.

They are such morons. They are such losers. But it worked. But their high-minded stuff is an entire smokes screen to create a, very similar to the Murdoch's, a sense of civility to entire industry based upon leverage, sexual assault, hostile takeovers of businesses, short-changing us. They view us as expendable. This is the big message I'm getting.

We're just way to get more money. All we are are- Crank out more kids for them to fuck.

We're primates that are supposed to work in the factories, okay? That's all we are to them and make their things. If we're not there to bend over or do the little fucking stupid jobs that they want, that's the reason why they're trying to replace us with robots. Because they're easy to do. So just remember that as you go through this material, keep your head on a swivel.

All right. I want to move on, but Clinton's.

Oh, yeah.

We even talked about it.

Bill Bill and Hillary Clinton Live. They're coming February 25th and 26th. Do your local C-Span. I cannot- Are we going to be able to watch this? Dude, I want a fucking mystery science theater 3000.

How do we do that?

Is that allowed? Can we do it on Patreon or something? Yeah, we can figure it out. Probably. I want to Watch the testimony live, and I want to fucking do a drinking game. Yeah, let's do it. Because my view about Bill and Hillary Clinton is that Bill- He knows how to stand trial, dude.

He went through all those impeachments, didn't get impeached.

I'm going to put it this way.

He had all that fucking evidence. He did it. He was like, I did it.

These fucking ass napkins in Washington, DC, they're going to get it hended to them by Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton.

Well, are they too old now? Are they out of the game?

No, absolutely not. Bill Clinton's ready to go. Bill Clinton's been waiting for this his whole life. He's so sick. This is what I think is happening. This is what I think is going to happen. We've talked about this. They're coming in together. It's going to be interesting. Kind of separate. In my mind, as we're all talking about, obviously, one theory I have is that he's going to completely fall on the sword because he knows that if Hillary Clinton goes to jail, he's fucked, she's going to kill him from jail. I think that he's afraid. The only way for her to do it, though, unless he goes in first and he's like, I do guarantee I saw Hillary wear a goat mask. Yes, I was there. It was her, Bill Gates. I saw Bill Gates. They flared a Malaysian girl. They better clit off. I saw you have to arrest her. I feel their pain. I could see him, but he has to get... That's why he's going first. Yeah. So we could maybe throw her under the bus. But otherwise, Because if he throws her under the bus- He's not going to.

This could be his chance to finally be free. No, Bill Clinton.

We have to remember, Bill Clinton is going to be immune.

He's President of the United States. Because that is through the Supreme Court, which Trump enacted while he wasn't President, that you can't arrest a former President.

Dude, and so if Bill's a real G, this is when he uses his shield. He just said, I did it. This is when he uses his shield to go in and say, Yeah, I'm a sexual... I did rape, So did he, and so did he, and so did he, and so did he, and literally just, he could. Who knows?

Then Hillary had nothing to do with it.

Well, Hillary's just going to... I think she's going to let her pussy eat the microphone, and then I think that she's going to slash Marjorie Taylor Green's face open. Let's see. I can't wait to, Man, get her in the fucking cage. I want Hillary Clinton in that fucking cage. Her and fucking Marjorie Taylor-Greens, toe to toe. I mean, Marjorie's going to flip. That'll be the thing, too. She'll come from the back because now she's a traitor, dude.

Oh, yeah. Marjorie, I don't trust that bitch. She's trying to become president.

I don't think she could become president of a fucking book club.

What's what I'm saying? I think she switched sides just so she can come back around.

Oh, good for her.

I don't fucking trust this bitch. They all deserve each other. Yeah, they certainly do.

They all fucking deserve each other. All right, well, we've talked about this for 45 minutes.

I'm sorry, but one more. Why? John Baday-Ramsey. Everyone's talking about it. I love her. It's in our wheelhouse.

We got to talk about it. I miss her every fucking day. I wish I could fucking... I wish we could have just had one joint together.

So There is a picture in Jeffrey Epstein's house, a giant photograph with a little blonde girl wearing a jumper on his shoulders. Everyone thinks that little blonde girl is JonBenét Ramsey.

It looks a lot like her, but I will- And JonBenét Ramsey had the same jumper.

It's very possible. Who is the girl otherwise? Did Epstein have children?

They say he was nomin... We know he was trying to create a type of controlled scenario where his come would be put in all of these very selected models, and he would populate whole towns with his children. But we don't know how many children he actually had. He was congratulated on a baby boy by Fergie, if you remember her, Sarah Ferguson. Oh, yeah. She said, Congratulations on a baby boy. I have no idea what that means. There's several pictures of him with family members.

Jeffrey Epstein had a secret child 15 years ago.

Yeah, and then there's also the story about... I mean, with JonBenét Ramsey-Imagine finding out Jeffrey Epstein as your father you didn't know you had. I mean, where's that money? I mean, where's that fucking money? You know what's weird, Eddie? I think it's painted.

You think it's painted?

I think he did it as a funny joke.

Because that Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky dress is painted. Yes. Oh, my God.

I think it's just a funny joke, buddy. You think so? Yeah, unfortunately. I don't think he had anything. There's no real corroborating evidence to put him in Denver. There's nothing to put him over there. It seems silly. There's some connection to maybe JohnBenét-Ramsey. I mean, if you really... Oh, God, Eddie.

If we really want to- Well, someone thinks that they saw Ghislaine in the background of the last photograph that she was ever in. I don't know.

It all just seems so. It's a long one. I mean, I don't fucking know. I feel like with JohnBenét-Ramsey, still, Look at her Baumeister. I think it's closer to those connections. I have no idea what's going on with John David Norman. We have to look up that guy.

If she was missing and we never found her, I'd feel like we could talk about Epstein more with John Banet-Ramsey.

I believe so, too.

I don't think that- But with the fact that she was just killed in her own home, I That doesn't seem like Epstein's MO.

No. I will always believe that she was killed from somebody outside of the family, unfortunately. That actually points towards some form of system involved, which I'm no longer going to fight against. I'm no longer going to... I'm done. I'm toast, guys. I'm rereading program to kill. Just remember with David McGowan, when you're rereading program to kill that Henry Lee Lucas is filled with shit, but the Mark Dutrou stuff now makes even more sense. That's all over That's all over in fucking Europe. Oh, my God, Eddie.

Russell Wilson tried to buy his boat.

No, he did.

He really did. The giant owners all over it.

Again, not necessarily due to wrongdoing, but Punk to Tonic Phil was in the files as well. This is the unredacted version, but it's a bad angle. But they say that that is her. It looks like her. Yeah, I'm saying it looks like a funny joke that he had made. Yeah. I think that he... Jeffrey Epstein was like that. He thought he was cute. They all thought it was funny. I I legitimately think he made that as an original piece. That's super funny.

Find the picture of his neck.

Can you make one of me in that one? Make me one. I want to be there hanging. Can I be on JonBenét Ramsey's face? All right.

Well, we got updates.

Yeah. Dude, do we have updates?

Yeah, we got updates. I can't believe we're just getting the updates. This is too much today. This is a lot. Great job on the info dump, by the way.

I'm sorry, everybody.

No, they needed it. I needed it.

As long as it made sense.

No, it did. I followed the whole thing. Wow.

Look at that neck. Yeah, he got really hardcore strangled, which he would have been if he died by suicide. But it does look like he's all bruised up, and he very much... They talked about the broken neck bone. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know, Eddie.

Yeah. Because did he hang himself from a door knob or from the ceiling?

That, I don't know. I think from the bed. From the bed? I think it was from the bed. Oh, yeah, maybe from the bunk bed.

So it had to have been murder then. I thought he did it himself as a personal theory.

I believe that. I still believe he was allowed to do it.

They were like, Hey, here's your rope. It's your time. Go do it. Today's the day. He's like, Yes, I'll see you later.

I don't think he'd do it before they were going to poison him or stab him to death.

Yeah, it was one of the other.

Yeah, I think so. That's my view.

He had control over it. Who knows? All right.

So, guys- Henry made a superhero. So, guys, it looks like we're just star makers, right? Out of here. We're giving the last podcast bump out to a lot of guys. Some people deserve it, some people don't. This guy He doesn't.

No, he does not.

Sherman Sheegan, the piggyback bandit, has decided to own his legacy. Now, the piggyback bandit, as we covered, we know that he has been banned from five different states' worth of high school sports. Yes. He says now that he's been banned from over 20. He's super proud about it. The piggyback bandit, just so maybe you know, his name is Sherman Sheegan. He's 42 years young, 240, way in He's to win in a 240. He had a stout 6'1. He comes out there and he insinuates himself into high school sports games afterwards by dressing like a mentally handicapped helper person. He looks like he works for the team.

He looks like he collects the basketball.

Yes. He insinuates himself into it very cleverly, I might add. He jumps on the backs of young boys, high school boys. Piggyback ride, piggyback ride, piggyback ride. Then he rubs his genitals all over the lower back. Then he'll advance to... The one time when he was arrested is because he handed him a note that said, I hope that butt does more than poop and fart. Then here's $20. Yes.

That still makes me laugh.

He ain't cheap. He ain't cheap.

We'll give him some.

So he's back at it.

$20 is a lot for a guy like him.

I have some theories here. I have some theories here. So Sherwin-Shwagun, he called the police saying that he called 911 on himself. He said he was having chest pain. When he arrived, they arrived at this, I guess he was at a hotel.

It was outside of Cleveland.

I have no idea how this guy is booking hotels and plane tickets and stuff.

I mean, it's gray out.

It's hard. It's hard. You still got to figure out where you're going.

He shouldn't just be like, What's next? I'm honestly, I'm impressed. I mean, those busses, you can just hop on them, man. I remember one time back in the day, I was just like, I was stuck on Christmas. I just started getting on busses that were heading north.

Yeah, I get it. No, I understand. So Shayagan, they get there, and Shayagan is full. Remember George Kistanza in Seinfeld when he's also in there? They're He's laying out naked on the fucking bed.

On his bed.

Yeah, on his back.

He's got a blanket on. But who knows?

He knew he was naked.

Yeah, he knew he was naked. They said that He doesn't have chest pain.

He's like, No, I just wanted to wonder if you knew about me. I'm a piggyback bandit. And they were like, What? And then I guess he showed him the footage of a podcast that had been covering him. Yes. Recently.

I got to say... I'm going to go ahead and say it's 75% chance it was us.

He said, So they went to there. They didn't know what to do. During the Tuesday encounter, the hotel employee asked police to remove Shayagan from the property because he was expecting of stealing snacks, which is, I guess, how he lives, right? Yeah. He was not cited. They warned the school saying that he's around, and he said, he asked them, do you want a-Pigyback red?

No. He gets the piggyback.

He gets the piggyback rides.

He's greedy. He got to give some. You can't just take. I don't know.

I don't want to him. I don't want to activate him. He then said that he went to the police. He was bragging about being banned from 27 states, and he asked all the cops if they wanted to get a picture with him.

Because he's famous. Because he's famous.

He's out there. He said that he was going to plan to leave the state on an airplane. This is my question. Natalie first asked me, how in the living fuck is he making money?

I just think he's probably disabled.

He might be on disability. But you know what I'm actually I'm thinking, too, Eddie? And this is-independently wealthy? I think this is real gross. I think that he's learned over time that men will give him money to do things to them, and that he's learned to try to give money to other men to try to get something from them.

Oh, you think he's a prostitute and just flips it?

That's what you're saying. Just the way you put that. I don't think it's a plan. You know what I mean? I don't think that- Sounds like a plan. I don't think it's like- Sounds like I'm going to suck this guy's dick so I can get a piggyback ride. But on one way, the way you just said, it sounds like the character from the song Pink Pony Club. You know what I mean? It's not like a hooker with a heart of gold. You know what I mean? He's not out here thinking, Oh, wow, that is just him doing the piggyback rides right there. You're looking at that video. He's like a little Chihuahua.

He's more like a pug. He's definitely way more of a pug than a...

We want him on the show. Side stories of P-O-T-L at jmo. Com. No, he is not coming on the show. No.

I just wanted to do a moment talk about- No. What are you talking about? We give him enough press. He likes it too much.

He likes it too much. Do an Epstein-style interview with him. I want a sit down with just you and him. Me and him, yeah. Ask him about his thoughts about the universe. Ask him where the soul goes. Can I ask him about what math is correct?

Well, we can't do it in Iowa, New Jersey, North Dakota, or Montana.

I'll tell you all about string theory. All you got to do it. You got to pull it little tiny tugs. Little tiny tugs.

What's your theory of everything?

But the thing is, Natalie was like, So there's a part of me that really believes that I think that he might It just fit. You remember Harry with the gold coins that used to go up to John at the Eckerts? Yes. Johnny Moreno, that was on our sketch group, murderfest. He was in our sketch group, murderfest. When I was working at the photo development lab with him, there was a guy that used to come in named Harold.

He was the guy from Family Guy, the old guy from Family Guy.

He's this guy. He used to go, Hey, John, you got any gold coins? You got any gold coins? That was when we had the dollar coins, the dollar gold coins. He'd be like, He'd give him like, they'd change out money for the gold coins. He'd like the gold coins. I'd be like, Hey, John, you want to watch me do some pushups? You want to watch me do some pushups? He'd be like, Yeah, I got time today. He'd be like, You sign this contract, John. I'm a slave. I'm a pushup slave. It was this contract that he had a sign. It was all mimeographed. The whole thing was like, You're going to make me do pushups until my arms are a pop-anana crackin, and you're going to make me do them. If they're not pop-anana crackin, I do them until I'm pop-anana crackin. It's all like this. Obviously, then sit on his back. Once he said his back while he's doing the push-ups. It's all very... Because it's not sex because it's the wrong parts on the wrong sides. But it's definitely sexual.

Yeah, of course.

People are all in all kinds of stuff. You're right, Eddie. I can shame anybody. No.

Except for the piggyback bandit.

Hey, at least Harold asked for permission. Yes.

And you signed a contract. Well, I mean, piggyback- That's legally binding. Piggyback is asking for permission, right? No.

He's not? No, he's jumping on backs He's trying to buy sex. For you, if you want to open that back up again, I can remind you what his message was. I love it. It's still one of my favorite. Ten dollars plus note. This is $10.

And the note.

For letting me he give you a massage. This is $10 for you letting me give you a massage. Thank you for letting me give you a massage. Use the money wisely. Also, I want to tell you- I'll do whatever I want with the money. Fuck you. You tell me I'm a grown sex worker. Also, I want to tell you, you have a nice ass. With those pants on, use your ass wisely to fart and poop. Also, I heard if you wear your hat backwards, you fart more than other people. I got my hat backwards, too.

He's never wearing a hat, though, in any of the pictures. You're right. He's got a big head. It's got to be hard to find it. It's definitely not a fitted hat. Definitely a snapback. It's just about the flirty.

I got my I had backwards, too.

Oh, my God. What are we even doing here?

He fucking makes me laugh. All right. Is there any stories that don't involve sexual assault?

Jill Biden's ex-husband accused of killing his wife.

Fuck, yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. That's a great story, dude.

This just dropped. I don't even know what's happening. This is so insane. That headline made me nuts. It's so funny. I was like, Let me check the news real quick before we jump in here. It's like, What? It's just like two paragraphs still developing. William Stevenson, '77, a charge with murder in Delaware. Of course, Delaware. They love their Delaware.

I don't understand what is going on in Delaware.

Oh, my God. This comes from... I found it on Newser. Joe Biden's ex-husband is charged with killing his wife after weeks-long investigations Cribs. It is 64-year-old Linda Stevenson was found unresponsive in the living room, and she was pronounced dead at the scene. Monday, 77-year-old William Stevenson was arrested and charged with first-degree murder.

Wow. She really knows how to pick him. He's got a type. She really does.

He does look like crazy Biden.

I will say Joe's more handsome than him.

Oh, he's definitely more handsome. He aged better. I will say- He could do a whole ton of pushups.

After all this being said and done, I just was like, I was watching the footage of the fat fuck fucking shit his pants in the White House, and they all have to cover whatever. I was just thinking about, we misalign grandpa Joe. Because grandpa Joe, when he shit his pants, He did it in the privacy of his quarters, and he cried tears of shame. Yes. Like a real old man supposed to do, like a real honorable old man. When he had COVID. Joe Biden, when he shot himself in the fucking White House, he hit it and he cried knowing his life was coming to an end because he felt it. That's all he say that about him. That doddering old man knew he was dying, and he took it on the ball.

Hold on, Joe. You have to live one day longer than Trump. He's not going to. You have to live one day longer. That's all I ask.

He's not going.

One hour.

It's just one of those, Biden. Just understand, I see your struggle, and I'm glad you kept it in your pants for just the shortest amount of time.

All right? You think when they found out the news, Joe turned to Joe. He's just like, I never liked him.

As soon as it all goes out, I think that he's just like, You mean to tell me, Jack, I could have been shit in my pants in public this whole time? I'm going to be honest, Jack. Me and Cornpop? I had nine Cornpops this morning. Half of my sleep is a log in my pants. Oh, my God, is there a tree in there?

William Stevenson married Jill Biden in 1970 when they were in college, and they divorced in 1975, several years before she married Joe Biden. Holy shit. That's really, really... Well, you know- William Stevenson is the one who placed the 911 call, so we'll find out more as it develops.

Oh, we will. Especially if you place the call, sometimes you might be guilty. Also, remember, too, when the cops ask you in a question, in an interrogation, this is one of my favorite. When they say to you, What do you think should happen to somebody who'd be guilty of this crime? They think you're guilty. Yes.

I mean, some dude tried to break Luigi Mangioni out of prison with a pizza cutter.

That was an amazing story, too. He walked in, said he an FBI agent. They literally... They said he had a... I love the way these systems work, too. He walked into the jail. He said he was an FBI agent. Just has a piece of paper. Just has a piece of paper. He said, I'm here to legally release Luigi Mangioni. They were like, Release Luigi Mangioni. I was like, Let's take a look at our paperwork. I don't think we were supposed to release Luigi Maggioni. It was this idea of like, Yeah, obviously, they were going to release... But I like that they checked it. They were like, Well, let's just make sure. Let's just see. We never know. I never know. They go and he had a pizza cutter.

And a fork, a barbecue fork.

Which is the single funiest thing to release the most Italian boy that ever- It's racist. It's deeply racist. He might as well have been like, I brought some grease so we could slick back his hair. He could slide through the… You know how Italians got soft bones?

Yeah, here's a flour you eat it and you start throwing- Yeah, they're fireballs.

It's racist.

Here's a little bomb with eyeballs on it.

Luigi thought you could use it. Here's some dough.

I mean, kudos to this guy. Good for you, buddy.

You think he played that as his cue music? Luigi He psyched himself up. Luigi's like, There is a somebody out there in front of me. There is a somebody out there in front of my freedom.

Man, watch Luigi get out after all this shit.

Did he just beat the death penalty.

Yeah.

He's got a very good lawyer.

Oh, my God. All right.

Then also the other story about that we'll be covering updating is, so today's show hosts Savannah Guthrie's mother, who's an 85-year-old woman, Nancy Guthrie. They're saying she was kidnapped. Yes. We have no idea where she is.

There's a ransom note now demanding big money in Bitcoin.

I don't know if she has access to that. It's very hard to kidnap somebody and get that money. It's really, really... I don't know why they would choose her of all the people.

I mean, she's a public figure. It's just crazy. You never know who they're randomly going to choose, dude. Remember when they kidnapped Cal Ripken Jr's mom?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

You never know who they're going to randomly snag.

Well, this is why I fucking- Can't get me?

Mom's dead. Yeah, I can't.

Fuck you. He's got no vulnerabilities. I put one of those GPS locators in my mom's vagina.

Good luck getting that out.

Yeah, it's all sewed up. All right, she can't get All right, so we'll display, but hopefully we will get information on this because it's actually quite scary. That's fucked up.

It's terrifying. Poor Nancy Guthrie, 84 years old.

But Savannah Guthrie knows you can't negotiate with terrorists. All right, John Paul Getty. They have any fucking problem? You You'd be like, You could fucking shoot her. I don't care. I don't negotiate with terrorists. Remember that line, dude?

Give them the money. Give them the money.

No, I'd be like, No. Fuck you. She does. Send me a pinkie. Oh, you think you're going to I can kill her? Send me a pinkie.

She does seem pleasant.

I'm just saying, Savannah Guthrie, fucking called her bluff. Oh, poor lady. Sorry. Actually, I'm really sorry. I was just being fun.

No, it's our job. I was just sad to think of her all… I wonder how annoying she's being to the kidnappers.

Well, honestly, that's the best thing. What was in the movie The Rath? Yeah, I can always just say exactly. My mom was kidnapped. She would be released within the day. Okay.

You're trapped in paradise.

Oh, that's what it is. Was trapped in Paradise?

No, that's the bank heist. Yeah, but they kidnapped their mom, and she's super annoying. That's her hour. That's her hour. That's funny. All right, we got some really fun... Some emails came in this week. Oh, yeah.

I have to read some of these, only just because number one, you'll never make me feel bad about the death pool because we got reached out to by a family member of someone on the death pool, and they liked it. Yeah, they were very happy about it. And those of you reached out to it. We love you. We thank you for listening. Hit us up. We'll send you a shirt.

We'll let you know. They demanded that if their family member dies, that they get to pick the charity. And now, you know what?

Sure. You got it. You got it.

No problem.

Please. Are you ready, Eddie?

Yeah. Yes.

Are you horny, Henry? Yes, sure. Now it's time for a listen to our emails. There we go. So this one is about Ryan Wedding. I love this. I have no idea if this is true or not. I fucking I love this little breakdown, though. This is about Ryan Wedding, our favorite- Yes, the Canadian snowboarder who recently got arrested for being a cartel leader. El jefe or El Mayo.

That's a crazy sentence.

Yeah, right? That's why I love this story. So this is this guy did a little bit of breakdown. Who fucking knows? Since he's from Canada, he somehow gained access to the extremely lucrative heroin markets in their largest cities on the border.

Vancouver.

Then basically emerged after El Chapitos showed up with El Mayo in pocket. Basically, the most productive parts of the Sinaloa cartel crumbled rather quickly and altogether. Wedding was in a position where he was making the most money. He had the most international influence and was also able to do things like kill federal witnesses in FBI custody, which I have a hunch as why they had such a hard on for him. In the Sinaloa cartel, El Chapo and one son were captured some time ago. In prison in the US now. Then El Calpito forms, which is El Chapo's Kids. They formed this fentanyl and heroine-focused franchise of the larger cartel. Then the last of El Chapo's sons kidnaps El Mayo, who was the financier and business manager of the whole cartel. He then flew him to Houston, turned him over while he turned himself in, and probably got a sweet fucking deal. After the dominoes fell, Wedding was left with the most lucrative markets and the muscle to put down his competitors. It seems that since this term of Trump's CIA, ATF, and even Delta Force has been let off the chain in Mexico, full scorched earth, and now the cartel fears the US military Special Ops more than prison.

Wedding arrange and turned himself in the American embassy in Mexico City. It seems like he was hoping to pull a Julian Assange, hoping to keep his extradition out of the embassy in legal limbo, but appears they just kidnapped his ass. So it honestly feels like the goal was very similar to Sicario Medaleen, a dictator that controls the drug trade with whom we can deal with. That makes total sense to me because we now know that Cash Patel, the YouTuber in charge of the FBI, he came out and said the quiet part out loud by saying that we were in Mexico when we got him, and we weren't supposed to say that out loud. It's because he's bad at the job, and he was purposely put there to make the FBI almost impossible to work with. Yeah. Nice. Look at this fucking guy, dude. He was a big dude. He's huge. He has to be, dude.

That's crazy, though. I just never think of snowboarders as being big and buff.

I think that he has gotten buffer since the snowboarding day. That's what I would say. I just want to do this one- He does look scary.

I've never been intimidated by someone who says they snowboard before.

No, that's a scary man.

That's a big That's a big scary dude.

That's a big scary man. All right, so this next one. I'm going to begin the process again. I don't care. I don't fucking care. What are you doing? Tomorrow, you're going to listen to our... We're going to do a talk back on our YouTube page. You're going to go LPN TV. We're going to be doing a... You're going to come and talk to me. Shareholder's meeting. I'm going to talk to all of you, all of your questions. We're going to talk about Beyond the Veal, too. So they'll go turn in, but I might be beginning this whole thing again.

What do you mean?

I'm writing to you about a Painting I own by the Vancouver street artist, Ken Foster. For those who don't know, Ken was a fixture of the downtown East Side, a street artist from the darkest patch of four blocks in North America. I know what that's like. His work reflects that. Deep, dark, gritty alleyways. I'm not attaching a photo of this painting. I've come to realize that when this piece is faced outward and people can see it, negative things happen. I originally gave this painting to my sister, who has a master's in art history. She loves art, yet for 10 years, she never put it up. When she finally gave it back, she told me she felt a specific dark sadness coming off of it, like a deep secret was hidden in the paint. She could actually feel a negative energy pushing off the canvas. I took it back and leaned it against the wall, face out on my basement suite. Almost immediately, things fell apart. My car broke down. Electronics just stopped working. I felt a heavy physical pressure on my brow whenever I was near it. The flood. My basement flooded twice. The water came up from under the floor until the carpet was thick and sobbing.

Maybe it's just irresponsible.

Who knows? But the water never touched the painting. I sat there perfectly dry in the middle of the mess. I moved it to the laundry room by the heater. Three days later, the heater broke. My roommate, who lives upstairs, eventually admitted he got the exact same feeling my sister did just by being around it. I'm reaching out to see if Henry, Ed, or Marcus wants this piece for the office or somewhere in the LPN building. I'm happy to send it your way, but I'll just say this. Beware of what's happening once you turn it face-out. Po box 470- No, I don't want it. North Hollywood, What are you talking about? 91603. We're going to fucking house it.

We don't need bad luck.

I'm going to bring it to some other place. Put it in your storage unit. I'm going to bring it over to the Mystic Museum.

Yeah, the Mystic Museum. We're going to bring it someplace. The Museum of Death. Well, this isn't a Museum of Death. This is the beginning. This is more Mystic. This is the beginning.

If it's wrapped up in a piece of paper, it's not going to do anything.

I don't like this. Of course you don't. Why do you bring in this weird shit to the office?

It's fun for me. It's stupid. It's fun. It's irresponsible.

We'll see. I don't believe in any of this shit, but there's There's no reason to chance it.

Hey, I say, Rock the boat. Rock the boat. Yeah, dude. We're on Netflix.

Know what we should do. Wrap it up. Gift to Netflix. It was like, Hey, you know.

I heard her deal. Ted Sarandos. We need to bring it to another- Got you something for your office.

Just a thank you. It's a house warming for us.

Let's go leave in front of earwolf. This has been a great episode, guys. Really has, right?

Yeah, absolutely. No, I mean, thank you for the info dump. There'll be more next week. I guarantee it. There's millions of files to go through. I don't even think the world, I don't even think TMZs had the chance to go through all of them yet.

And it's going to be a lot of horse shit in there. It's going to be a lot of fake stuff. There's going to be a lot of stuff. We just use some common sense.

I thought the Cialis pop-up ad was bad taste.

It was a bit in her. Honestly, the idea of having to click on the Are you over the age of 18 to be on a government website? It's wild. It's wild to me. But thank you, guys. Live every day knowing for a fact we're the controlled opposition, and we're going to have to be. Because we love being paid by various counterparts in the Russian government. You know that, though. We laugh every day. When I get my money from the Disinfo groups that I work for, and when I get money from. Henry pays me in doubloons. Yes. It still can't be traced internationally. That's the goal. So just remember, never meet your heroes unless, of course, you're a 16-year-old girl.

I like to meet my heroes, and by heroes, I Sandwiches.

Yo, me too. I am delicious. Honestly, sandwich has never done nothing to nobody.

Ain't done nothing to nobody, never.

Nobody, never.

Except for diabetes. We're going to be on the road. I'm going to be in San Francisco at the Punch Line on February 18th for Grant Gordon and Julie Rosen. And then Henry and I are going to Alaska Anchorage, sold out on February 20th. Fairbanks, February 21st. We're going to be in Urbana, Illinois.

Can't wait, dude. Honestly, it looks fun.

It's going to be great. That's going to be on March 14th. April 26th, Lexington, Kentucky. May seventh, Netflix is a joke festival here in LA at the Avalon, The Late Show, 9: 45. Going to be a fucking hoot. That's May 30th. We're going to be in Rochester, New York, and on June 28th, London, Ontario. And big announcement from me. Let's take it to the stage, baby. I'm going to P-Funk Fest, Tallahassee, April 11th. I'm going to be an emcee. We're working out what I'm going to do. You're going to be seeing me all day long. I can't wait, dude. I don't even understand how this gig even happened. I'm bringing my man Holden McNeely. It's going to be a fucking blast. Then the following day, I'm high tailing it to Jacksonville to do a show at Jumbo shrimp Stadium on April 12th. Tickets are available on anytunes. Com. I don't even understand. I mean, you want to come to this P-Funk fest. Every faction of P-Funk is going to be playing here. 420 funk moms, Secret Army, everyone. It's going to be Garet Scheider. It's going to be fucking bananas. P-fanas. Get your ass out there.

I'm calling Juggalos. You're going to love this shit. Any hardcore, all the way goths. You're going to be surprised how much you fucking love P-Funk. Get your ass to Tallahassee on April 11th. We're going to have a fucking blast Let's take it to the goddamn stage.

Fuck, yeah, dude. Can't wait. How did Epstein be so good at keeping in touch with so many people?

I say talk to one person every week, whether it's an email or a text message or a phone call. I should learn.

Just We all learn from Jeffrey Epstein. Talk to your friends more.

Yeah, just say, Hi, how are you doing? You don't have to have an agenda.

No. Just say stuff like, Don't you think that black people are genetically inferior, dear old friend? You know what I mean? That's what people like to do.

Just check out the emails. If you don't know how to do it, go search justice. Gov/epstein and take some notes. It's that easy.

Enjoy.

Bye. Bye. Hale, St. Hale, Katherine O'Hara.