Transcript of Our Toxic New Year's Resolutions - Dropouts #236

No, because people think I bully her. She's been singing that for fucking 20 minutes straight here.

They didn't hear what she's saying.

I know. That's what I'm saying. They're going to think I'm bullying her.

Turn on the cameras.

She does that, and it's smarter for her to do it. Kudos to her. These are dead.

This is impromptu. The best way to spread New Year's cheer is to beat the hell out of whatever woman screwing you over in the room. Alyssa.

Show your yard.

That's only for this.

There it is. There There it is.

You sing that one more time. I'm going to take my grippers and put them on your pipe and absolutely refuse you any airflow.

I'm surprised she got that one out. She normally does it before the fucking camera start, and then I come in hot because she's getting on my nerves.

You're going to say why you keep doing that?

You got to show the people the perspective of why you're mad. What?

What are you talking about?

I have no idea.

What are you talking about? Cut to her camera. That's our perspective, why we're mad. You have been real honnery ever since you got your-Honernery. He does that every time.

I know you're defending me, but we have had this conversation. It is onerary. It's not onerary.

You know what? You better be glad. I'm switching over to him. You have supple tips. I don't. You came up to me and said I had supple breasts. You're the honorary member of the ornory club.

Oh, bars.

I didn't say you had supple breasts. They were taking photos of Zack last night. We have the photo. Can someone-No, don't put up.

If they're suppled, don't put them up there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. How is Honery?

She's googling.

No.

That's not how it's spelled.

How is Honery pronounced?

We've got to start recording her when she types things in. I know. Put on your thing.

I don't know how.

Then screenshot it.

Yeah, screenshot that.

You spelled pronounced insane, too. If I can read... I don't know if I'm reading right.

Wait, I don't know what-I can crop it out. Okay.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the last episode of 2024 before we had head first in that sweet, sweet 2025. You might think that this past year has been tough for you. Well, I've lost two grandparents, and my uncle died in a fire.

Sorry, I thought Skyler was laughing.

Hold on. What else happened? I said, Mmm. You kept on making fun of my vernacular. Nobody knows this, but in the middle of the night, I found Alyssa doing things while I was asleep. Jared, what were you doing? You've been broken up with and gotten back together with about 100 times with 100 different women.

Cool. Wait, I want to go back to what happened with her.

Yeah, what was that?

I woke up one day and she was peeking in my room when I was changing.

That was recently?

It wasn't recently. It was probably mid-year. Never brought it up.

Why would you never bring it up?

I didn't want to embarrass her because... Okay.

Time heals all.

Time hills all. If you're in the Amazon rainforest and you have an ability to see an anaconda, you're going to take that chance. And that's all she was doing. Yeah, nobody wants to.

I see. Can you confirm or deny? Okay, that's what I was going to- A what? Like a meal worm?

Yeah, like a worm.

Okay. Yeah. You wish it was a worm.

The worm you use for fishing and stuff.

Yeah, you want to put it on a hook, don't you? I got you, brother. You know, whenever you see those videos of anacondas swimming through or Yeah, I think anaconda swimming through the water. No. The huge ones. Look up huge anacondas.

If you don't mind throwing on there. Do you mind if I hit intro music while she does this?

Yeah, hit the intro.

Hold on, brother. Put that finger a little higher. What episode is this?

237.

Hey, guys. I want to thank you for another incredible year of enjoying the dropouts pocket. Actually, not enjoying. Even if you hate watch, that's still money on our pocket, isn't it, boys? That's still money we can blow. So thank you and welcome to Dropouts episode 236. The next person hits intro music. So dumb.

Hit intro.

Just hit the intro music. Thank you, Skyler, for allowing us to see this sweet giant green anaconda.

This isn't what I'm talking about, but it's okay. Just search huge snake in river. How about that?

Your googling skills baffle me Sometimes.

Yeah, look at that. Jackass.

That's what I look like floating around in the hot tub, my body. No, you're not as slender.

This guy is not slender, dude.

I think you're more adjacent to a hippo.

Look how terrifying this is. There's a ton of videos of this. There's way bigger ones.

That's a snake. That thing exists. Yeah, dude.

They're nightmare. It's nightmare.

It typically happens in a human climate. Brazil. Yeah, I figured that.

Oh, you just knew that?

You know what's also crazy? Jaguars will come right out of the They'll jump from that area onto crocodiles and kill them in the water. They'll jump on the crocodiles and kill them.

They jump into their territory.

Look that up, Alyssa.

Jaguar jumping on. We're not doing this. We can do this on the lunch table, okay? This is not what this podcast is. Looking up weird stuff that you just get off to in your bedroom. I love that, though.

Thank you for the plug.

The lunch table plug?

You sound like grandpa Larry.

Just did an episode where we talked about aliens.

Stop pitching right now, man. If we're going to be plugging, we're going to be plugging our Patreon, which has a free seven-day trial right now where you get to watch all of the best 2024. We just put an episode out where we, as a community, meaning us four, played Mario Party on the big screen. Drunk.

Well, two drunk, one high, and then so We're Sally over there.

Yeah, but I think I have just default drunk.

You think default drunk? Yeah.

You don't default drunk.

I don't encompass default inebriated. No. What is very calm and put together. Handsome. Yeah.

We do. You had that last part. He snuck in.

If Alyssa ever tries to come at us for the lawsuit or something, just I want the people to know this.

We tried recording the drunk episode, the Mario Party once, and then we stopped because we were trying to get everything organized. That footage, Alyssa in there said and did some things that were crazy.

I don't remember this at all. It was real?

Crimes Against Humanity. Wait, what did she do? The accents.

Oh, yeah.

The accents were crazy. I didn't do any accents. You did some accents.

You were testing out your obonics, remember? No.

You don't remember this? No. Jared, roll the clip.

Wait, what?

I have about eight minutes of that.

Of you nonstop. You would do it. We'll be like, Alyssa, please, God, don't do that when the camera starts rolling. You'll be like, I'll show.

This is crazy. Then we were begging you to stop, and you were like, Guys, I think I'm stuck like this.

How did we put that in? Don't No, it's fine. Trust me for us. I said, Alyssa, do you have any friends that naturally speak of Bonnix? You said, I've seen gangster movies.

Okay, that's not true at all.

Let's cut to a clip.

That's not true.

Put in the picture where she was throwing up the blood sign.

That's not true at all.

The world may never know.

Do we actually have any legitimate, without joking, New Year's resolutions?

Yes.

Without joking?

Yeah, don't Don't throw away. Don't throw out, I'm going to eat my penis, I'm going to make my vagina tighter. Don't do that stuff, guys. Let's hear some good stuff.

Just a small one.

I want to-No, this better be good.

It's a small one. I want to read 20 pages of a book every night before I go to... I don't want to I'm just going to sleep with the TV on.

I think-That's good. Can I...

Come back?

Can I be advantageous? Advantageous? When I request... When I... Just say it, dude. I'm trying to be smart for 2025. What if you do the three, two, one rule?

Yeah, I like drinking before bed, though.

Okay, but no food. No food three hours before?

Before I lay down? Because I'll stick by that. I'll just fucking hound dog.

I'll just stay up. No, I think you just said a time to go to bed. Then it's like, Oh, I can't eat.

I can't put time.

No, you can put a- You can't put a time restrictions on why.

Why can't you put a time? What time do you usually wake up in the mornings for the workouts? Seven. Okay, so go to bed at the latest by 11.

No, I need to... No, I need to... One.

One is terrible.

I function really high off six hours.

I don't know, but you don't know how well you function with a great night's sleep.

I do. My body naturally wakes up after six hours ready to go. That makes no sense.

But you could still get better sleep with-No, because here's what happens.

I wake up after six hours, and then sometimes I'm like, Man, I feel pretty energized, but it's early because it'll be like a Saturday. I'm going to go back to bed. I go back to bed, get two more hours, three hours, wake up, feel like trash. I just got to get up in a time. My new goal, when I wake up, I get up. Wake up, get up.

That's a good one. That's a good goal.

I would like to, when waking up within 10 minutes- You need to do the wake up, get up I wake up, get up.

Wake up, get up, wake up, get up, wake up, get up.

No, I've not taken a nap. I've gotten little sleep.

I'm not saying I'm saying that you didn't open your bedroom door until four o'clock today. I'm not saying that.

I didn't have it because we were on a live video. I do more work in maybe an hour of my time than you actually do an entire week.

Stack it up to the hour.

No, let's see. Listen, I want to stack. I want a list of actually how much you work during a week. We'll get that going. Now you're actually going to start working, which actually helps my benefit, thankfully.

No, we both got to do it. We both got to write it out. Write it out, stack it up.

You don't want to see what I do in a week.

I do. No, it's motivating.

It's 85 times more.

I know it is, but it's motivating. I like motivating myself.

No, you think, Skyler, where is your phone? When you go to bed at night, where do you keep your phone?

I open the door sometimes to say good night to him, and he's sitting there. I swear in my life, he's sitting there, his phone is playing something, and he's like this.

Well, in my defense, typically I plug it up before I get to bed. If you're in a hot, if you're on a strict- Where's the plug? It's on the far side of the van. So once it's plugged up, I don't fuck with it.

Is it on the night stands or is it on the desk across the room.

No, no, night stand.

Okay. Honestly, I'm going to make a rule for you. No sex before 11. I mean, after 11.

I can abide by that.

But your heart rate is going to be too up.

What you're talking about with the phone, that's block blast. That's block blast, creeping into every aspect of my life.

I did.

I told myself last night, I played. I was like, laying. I was watching. I finished from. I drove to Courtney's so I could watch it. I'm at Courtney's, watching from. I finish. And I'm like, okay, I just have to before I go to bed, you can go to bed, but you just have to beat your high score on Blockblast.

Your score is almost 50,000, isn't it? 45,000.

I got to 42 last night, and I said this.

I don't think that's a good goal to do before bed.

You're right. I'll do it every I did that before bed.

Okay, so you're now... But this is all I'm asking is to do the reading and then not do any electronics after the reading.

Have the reading be the last thing.

That's your last.

Yes. I want the reading to be the last thing of the night.

That's a good goal. You're nice to me this week, I'm going to get you a book light.

I've got good light.

No, what I'm saying is I don't want all the lights in the room. You have to get up, go turn things off. I want a little book light because when you get tired from those 20 pages, I want you to be able to fall asleep.

He has a remote control.

For what? His light. You have that?

Yeah, I don't typically use that light. I typically use the four lights versus the... But yes, I could use that.

Or they have created something called the Kindle.

I don't like the way to get it. Yeah, and I got a lot of books hard copied up there, so I'm going to read those.

Do you know how many books this Kindle thing, this new Kindle?

Yeah, but think about looking and seeing a bunch of books and then looking and seeing a bunch of Kindles lined up.

You don't need a bunch of Kindles. It's one Kindle. One Kindle.

Maybe in your America.

I think this is your problem. I do understand you like when people can see what you're reading, you like to see what you've accomplished. So here's my... Can I say something? Maybe you have a Kindle, but you also buy the book just so you can have best of both worlds.

But also some of this-So then he's paying two times for the book. I might be crazy here, This might be, I might be wrong. So wait, what's the rule? The three, two, one rule?

Three, two, one rule is, it's don't eat three hours before you go to bed, don't drink anything two hours before you go to bed, and then don't use any screens.

But see, doesn't the Kindle fuck that up?

No, because it has a... It's like the warmth setting. It's fully... Is it sage? It doesn't matter. But it has a warmth.

But it's not blue light or whatever.

It's not blue light. Okay. That's a fantastic... Do you want me to get you It won't pop up.

No, I do have another. After I finish these books, then you can get me one. If I finish these books, you can get me a Kindle. It's a goal, then I'll have to read the book.

But you don't really want the Kindle, so it's not like a great...

Yeah, there's no... That's not really a goal.

You get to smoke a pack of cigs.12:06. Oh, my God. That's horrible.

I'll do it. Twelve cigs?

No, you would get a ticket of cigarettes so fast.

I might adopt that New Year's resolution as well. Cigarettes? No, not cigarettes. The reading 20 pages because I do-No, Jared, come up with your own. Well, no, I'm saying I'm going to adopt that as well, but I have a different resolution for me, specifically.

There should be a... Okay, so there's this app called Habit Tracker. I got I'll find the exact one. Everyone stays still.

Oh, I think I have that. It tells me to make my bed every morning. It reminds me to drink water. Habit Kit? I don't know if it's that one.

But if we add in our habits, it's like, I want to work out four times a week.

That was going to be another If you're going to mind, I want to make sure consistently four times a week.

But then I wonder if there's habit kit, we could add it to our habit kit, keep each other accountable.

You can have other people on it.

It's like a party habit.

Oh, that's fun. I like that.

And what we should do is we should have some really nice reward after every week or month.

Oh, I like that.

But we only get it if all of us do the habits.

That's going to create some toxicity in this house. You aren't going to like me.

Because you would ruin it for us?

Yeah, you'll catch me playing games a little late at night a few times. Okay. Am I allowed to... How about this? I'll do the...

Is it 20 books? Can it be fiction? You just want to read in general?

I just want to read in general. Mostly, I prefer non-conviction, but I'll read whatever. Your mom bought me a book for Christmas. I'm sure I'll hit that. It's a good one. It's about gator.

Interesting. Is that where you learn the jaguar thing?

No, I've known that. This guy goes undercover for something that relates, I don't know.

What's your other- What's the book about? Is it gay turds? Gator's.

Gay turds.

Alligators. Alligator boy.

That's good. Gator tail. Go ahead, Jude.

What's your other New Year's resolution?

The New Year's resolution I have for myself is... So my birthday is in June, right? Usually on or around the first day of summer.

Your parents-What? Likeplanning that?

I don't think they plan that. So gay.

That's awesome.

They had to plan it, didn't they? Yeah.

No.

Can I ask a question?

My mom tried six times before at the sperm bank to have me.

But to have two lesbian parents and then them make you or release you in June.

But the thing is, the six times before they tried, I could have been-Lesbians, you said you were hatched or something, or how does it come out? I wasn't hatched, man. Jesus Christ, I'm not some snake.

Shout out, Julia.

Keep going. Wait, you're amphibius.

How am I amphibius? Lesmian.

Like a platypus.

Oh my God. I could see that.

Just finish your resolution. Okay, anyway. My birthday is in June, usually on or around the first day of summer. So for my birthday this year, I want to throw a pool party here at the house, but I want to be able to feel comfortable being shirtless the whole time.Not.

The whole time.I'm not going to allow that. Yeah, I'm going to make you so... I don't care if you have six-pack hours. You shouldn't have told me that. Why? I want to make you so uncomfortable.

No, can I give you a-I just want to be in shape for a pool party for my birthday.

It gives me six months to get my shit together.

How long will surgery take?

I'm not getting surgery. I'm doing this. Oh, Natcharal.

Courtney sent me a picture today of her from when we first started dating to last night, and she's lost a bit of weight. She looks great. But I was trying to do the same thing, but I didn't have a photo of myself. So I went back to the podcast, and I went back to one January of last year. You look so different today.

From January? Yeah. Really?

You look more filled. Your face looks more filled out, and you look stronger.

Oh, well, thank you.

I was looking for you to say that. No, I know. You look really... I don't want you to look really skinny in the January one, compared to what I see now. Yeah.

I think at that point, I've always struggled with thinking that fitness or health is all about just a lower number on the scale. I think trying to forget that and reprogram my brain to just being like, no, I think more, not more muscle as in being a bodybuilder, but there are times when I have a picture of myself where I was like, 155. It was when we were in the three bedroom apartment.155 pounds?Yeah.

So was I, and I was taller than him.

Yeah, and I still thought that I needed to lose 5 pounds at that point.

When you were 160 something, I was 150 something. I mean, 260 something, I was 150 something.

When were you? When were you in high school?

I was probably- Smaller than that?

130s.

Yeah. 140s. Jesus.

I told Alyssa earlier, she looked great, too. She looked great. I almost said much improved with Sam. I didn't mean that.

She looks great. Everybody else?

Anybody else look good?

I didn't even see you.

I wasn't even looking.

You're wearing the same outfit.

I'm wearing one downhill. Well, I look good in my fashion over.

I know.

It's the best. I It looks fantastic. Are you having the point? Wish I had that outfit.

Okay, what's your New Year's? I think then we should go around and say what we think everyone else should implement to their New Year's resolution.

Oh, that keeps it fun.

That keeps it spicy. Yeah, that'll be fun. Yeah, that's good. I'll listen. Alyssa, when you're done with yours, then go around and...

But you haven't given her your New Year's.

You didn't give yours. No, Alyssa's got to do hers. She's got to do...

You both have to do yours.

My New Year's resolution, I really want to start training for the high rocks competition. What's that? It's like the...

Is that the thing you wanted us to all do?

I don't know. I think I'm saying it right. It's high rocks, but essentially it's like CrossFit, but also... So it's a lot of hit, but also running, but it's a competition to see who gets the fastest time.

It's like the sled and stuff?

Yeah, it's like 100 wall, like sit, like ball jumps and sits, and then it's like three, four- Where'd you learn about this?

She was showing it a few weeks ago on TikTok.

I remember you showing.

And I It was like this. I didn't say it looked fun, but I was like, I like in my head, I was like...

So it's like an Ironman?

In a way, but it's running and the exercises.

It's more of a cross-fit competition, not Ironman.

But you're not You're doing it against other people at the same time.

You are. It's a race.

Oh, it's a race.

Yeah. Yeah, look it up.

You hate running. You're just doing it to challenge yourself? Yeah.

That's fun. I think it's good for you to learn to love running.

Good for you for wanting to do this because I would not want to do it.

It's all this.

Oh, my God. Who are you trying to be?

But it's running in between each.

How much do you run in between each?

Three-fource a mile.

So a little less than a mile. Holy shit.

And by when?

It's like a race. You start and see when it's the best.

No, I know what I'm saying. When's the race? I guess. I don't know.

I have to look at that. But I don't know if I want to do it, but I want to start training for it.

All right, let's see how bad this would suck. The first one sucks.

Yeah, the first one is the I guess Skierg? Backripper. I don't know what you mean. You're just yanking this cable down.

A thousand meters of that.

Sled push and the sled pull seem nicest on the list.

It depends on how heavy the sled is, though. That's true.

Burpee broad jumps, fuck them.

That sucks.

Rowing is not bad either.

Yeah, rowing, a thousand. That's pretty good.

Lungees would suck for 100 meters.

Oh, my God. Sandbag lungees, so they're weighted. Yeah.

And then these are like 100 or 75 or something. But the nice thing is that you could do it, obviously solo, you can do with a partner. Say you did it with a partner, they could do 25 meters of the sled push and you do the other 25. You can split it up or go however far you can go, but the running is all the same. The only thing I think I could do this, the only thing that's really holding me back is the running. That's what…

You should try this.

I think this is better for a mental barrier for you rather than even the physical part because you hate running so much.

You should try this on January second and see how long it takes you. I thought it was, too. Then whenever you officially do it, you can compare the times.

That'd be crazy. If I do do this, the fun thing is that you guys could go and you're literally right next to me.

Cheering you on? Yeah.

You can go with me to each thing.

I'll just get hammered.

We'll have signs, but they're facing other way. Keep on pushing. You, the other ones, suck at rolling. You can't slet anything. We get kicked out.

Zack's jumping on the sled. Slow down.

You guys slow down. She's trying her hardest.

Are you signing up right now?

No. Okay. So it starts the one kilometer running. Kilometer. Kilometer. Oh, my God.

You'll learn the terminology on the way there.

Your brain type that one out. Kilometer.

That's how you put it in the search plan.

That's all it is. But that's my goal. I don't know if I'll do it, but I want to start training lately.

No, you're going to do it.

You are trained lightly. Just be like, I'm going to do it.

You're going to do this.

I think Okay, to move on.

That'll be good. Not to start an argument or anything, but if you're still doing the nine o'clock workout. Oh, yeah. You and Nelson could do stuff specifically for this to get you in the best shape for it.

Yeah.

You have a personal trainer only focusing on your body. That's pretty nice. It's pretty hot. Not everybody can say that.

What's your exact?

I think I'd rather do quarterly goals.

Okay. That's your goal, is you want to do quarterly goals.

That's what I'm saying. But I I think that's better. It's like Q1 because you always get lost when you do a year goal because you're always like, I got to do it a year to do this. The quarterly goals.

So what are your quarterly goals?

I was going to take tonight and tomorrow to write them really all down. But I definitely want to write more when it comes to my scripts and things like that. Okay. Obviously, I want to eat. I mean, these are the simple ones, but I got to create more of a plan to eat healthier and do the workouts. You know what I mean? Yeah. It would be nice to have abs by summer.

See? That's what I'm trying.

I think abs are overrated.

Dude, no, they're not. I just want to look straight like I could fuck you up. That guy could fuck me up.

Because I think I have the ability to have abs.

Oh, yeah, you could get them.

I don't think right now, maybe the mental ability. What are you talking about?

She says that you're not mentally strong enough. That's what she's calling you.

She She's calling me.

She said-I don't think you have the ability to do this. I thought the whole time when you're doing a kilometer, whatever you call it, the tomato run. No, I think you can. No shot, you're going to do that.

Right now, you always say, No, I'm good. But if you just push yourself to do it.

How about you push yourself? How about you eat more than 400 calories in a day? I'm working on it.

You're not working on it. I know. She's working on it because every time I came downstairs today, the microwave was running with something. I'm not kidding either. I came down first thing this morning and she was eating pasta?

I think, yeah.

She can't get a thousand calories unless there's carbs in the house.

Then she's like-She was warming up pasta. I come back downstairs. She's closing another pasta lid. And I'm like, Were you eating that? She's like, Yeah, I was just so hungry. I'm like, okay. And I go back downstairs and she's doing it again. I'm like, Alyssa, what the fuck is going on? Good for her. But I was just like, I've never seen this much ever.

I was hungry today.

I don't know why. That's what she kept saying. I'm hungry. She's like, Have you ever watched Small? This is for people.

Maybe you're eating for two.

Little Smallville reference.

You're going on your date.

I've never seen it, so this is going to go over my head. There's a girl that's bulimic and she touches a meteor rock, and so she gets bad powers from it.

And hers is she eats everything, and she ends up eating her dad and shit.

Oh, my gosh.

Her mouth would open. That was pretty sick.

It was pretty sick.

I love that reference, and I'm sure if I knew the reference, I'd love it even more. Hey, welcome to my pants. If you had to go around and give everybody, Oh, we're giving one for everybody.

We can't do one at a time. I have to just come up with all four right now.

If you have a glaring one.

I don't have a glaring one.

Well, you can just say it's like, Oh, this would probably be good if you tried this.

Do a Q. Okay, I got a Q1 for you.

A Q1? Q1. Oh, Q1.

It's not bad. I want you to go to the doctor.

Fuck, that was going to be mine.

I just went to the doctor.

I got all my blood work done. Yeah, now you got to go talk to them about the blood work.

That's how that works. That's true. Yeah. Dangerously low vitamin D levels. Yeah, so go to- Clustral, very high.

Go tell them. Go tell them and get a plan in place for that. Okay. I think that's the only thing that's bad, really.

I have one for you then, too. Are we going to- I would like you to- Be nicer to me.

No. That's exactly where I thought it was going. No.

I would like you to go see a different doctor and start working on your mental health now, too.

All right. What's the one for me? I guess, Jared.

We go person to person.

They took mine.

And I've already talked, and I'll have you know I got a meeting with a therapist. I think everybody should be in therapy. Amen. But I got a meeting with a cool therapist. I just got to set the time.

Probably set off camera. Not me. Come on, Jared.

You got to get back on your meds. Hey. Well, no, these meds.

Nice. The audio is going to shit out. Don't throw stuff at the audio.

Yeah, let's all be careful.

Anti-asshole tablets?

Show the camera.

There you go.

Those are Where'd you get them from? I don't know. Prescriptive. They're jelly beans. Well, you're not supposed to eat those. It's more of a joke, but you can have them.

You just gave her ammo.

Did you figure anything out, Jared?

I'm really trying to think.

You can piggyback if you have nothing else. You can take one of those.

Yeah, I mean, mine was getting your health in order so that you can be more efficient with everything.

I'm efficient, man.

What Well, it's just there are... I know you said you haven't had naps recently, but historically, there have been a lot of naps. And so when it comes to content stuff, you're not always the most available person.

You're saying you're talking about being available? He's trying to get two chips.

I put out four pieces of content a week.

I think overall, just getting yourself to the healthiest it could be.

I'm so tired right now.

Exactly. There we go.

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Who wants to go next? You can give me mine. I'm ready.

Skyler, I think that you could do a little better in not necessarily your message to people, but maybe your delivery.

That's fair.

That's extremely fair and very well put, Alyssa.

I would challenge you to put an hour total in Q1 for all of your social media apps.

I I scheduled that out today.

For every single one, but not press continue. Because you're a little bit of a scroller. You've gotten to a habit of scrolling.

Wait, what do you want?

Okay, so Twitter, Instagram. I got confused on what we were talking about. Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, all of that together, you could only go on at one hour a day.

Oh, I can do that. I will do that.

Well, you got to schedule your phone so it tells you. Do you know how to do that? Nope. You want Daddy? Daddy can teach you.

Give me the time limit thing that you always beat.

My time limit usually goes at nine o'clock at night. It's when it's usually up.

No, I know. Whenever me and Zack will be scrolling through videos, he'll be showing me funny ones and he'll get a time limit.

Yeah, but I'm showing you.

No, I know. That's what I was saying.

It's funny. That's a challenge to really everybody. Oh, that's my big challenge to everybody.

Does that include Blockblast?

Yes. It's really just phone use in general that's not productive.

My real big challenge for you is to be bored because I think that's when... Oh, I I like being bored.

But it's not filling it with block blast or with a TV or playing video games.

Be bored without a phone. Meditate.

But if there's an hour of the day.

Deep work.

Deep work. Just wait. We should all start meditating. Like, set around yourself.

I just think. You know what's crazy? This is a side story. When I was in law school, it was Health and Wellness Week. It's like the week before finals. We had two attorneys come in from a huge firm in Atlanta, and they came and talked to us. I guess they They did pro bono work for the firm, so that was part of their time. The other part of their time, they just led wellness stuff. They really fell backwards into a great gig because they were making minimum 200,000. Oh, damn. They were health and wellness attorneys. At their firm, they just led other people in breathing exercises. That's fantastic.

That's what I want for my year.

You want to breathe the exercise?

I want to retain my focus. I want to be a professional focuser. I don't know how you say that, but just be able to focus for long periods of time on something because I feel like back in the day, William Shakespeare could probably sit down for four hours, eight hours, and just work on one thing.

Because they didn't have anything else to do.

Yeah, I work on... I'll think of something, and I'll go do this, and I'll go do that. I'll get a lot done, but I feel like I get a lot more done if I just section out time. It's like, I can't do anything but this for four hours. I want to get my focus back. I feel like all of us have pretty terrible focus. A commercial comes on, we all just go, or something happens. I feel like none of us can really focus.

I do try to challenge myself in those moments. I was doing that when I was back home, I watched a lot of football with my family, and whenever the commercials would come on, I challenged myself to not get on my phone and instead use that time to actually talk to my parents.

Jared, what's yours?

Skyler, mine for you would be to be more open for new experiences in going out and stuff like that.

I've been trying.

You have been trying, and I think you should I would do it even more because I think, A, not only would that, I think, be just fun in general, but I think it would help you embrace your new role as a podcast host and have more stories and life experience to talk about on the new show. Thank you. I appreciate that.

For Jared, I would probably have you be a better communicator and scheduler.Okay. You can set a schedule where it's like, okay. Imagine having three podcasts just done. You just don't have to worry about it. But then it's still improving on the future podcast or the future music or whatever it is, but it's being able to schedule. Okay.

I agree with that. I like that.

Mine's, I guess, similar to communication, but maybe getting better at responding to people texting.

I agree.

Whether you see it, but to acknowledge the text.

Okay. I can do that. I can do that. God, my heart is racing right now.

I'm trying to think of one.

Alyssa, yours should probably be-Wait, Skyler has to go.

I got to come up with one for Jared. Oh, for Jared.

Palms are getting sweaty.

I don't know if I have a... I need time. Can I take a time card?

Take your time card. You don't have to have something right now. It could be off camera. It might be off camera.

I could. Zack, stop messing with the chips.

You're going to give me something to fiddle with. I'm a fiddle monster. Can you hear that in the audio?

Yeah, probably. Yeah, but it's just probably like the vibrating the table in the mic.

Stop, stop, stop. That's why I couldn't think of one. I couldn't find my focus.

Okay, mine for Alyssa. I think similar to what you said with Zack, I think just like your overall health, mental and physical, there are plenty of resources around you to help you with the diet, specifically. I mean, you work out pretty consistently with Nelson, but the diet, specifically, there are a lot of people around you that can help out with that. I think a consistent diet will do wonders for you physically and mentally, because then your brain will also be fed. Then with the brain, continuing to see your therapist, continuing to take the supplements, and being more focused on your overall health, mentally and physically.

My goal for you is two times a month, you have to do something socially. It can be a date or going out with friends that aren't us every month.

That's a great one.

Challenges you to get out, meet people, get out there. Because obviously, when you went out with that guy, you had a good time. It was fun, and it's nice. It's fun to be able to go out.

It's all so good for stories in the podcast. This is work. You're not going to get paid for doing this, though. Okay. Yeah, that was similar to mine. I would say take steps to building confidence. It could be baby steps, but it could be reading a book. It could be do something you're not normally going to do. But I think it's really just adopting the mindset that no one's really thinking of you, and that's a positive way. When you're out and you think something's weird, it's like when you wear a beanie for the first time. You're not a beanie guy.

And now, Jared's a full beanie guy.

And you're not a bean guy. Jared the full bean. You're like, Everybody's thinking about me. It's just like, essentially take the risk because life's short and even shorter for you.

They talk about beanie guy. We were at the Italian restaurant last night. Jared was in a beanie and a knit sweater. He looked like he's ready to fuck.

It was crazy. And I didn't like your shoot next to my mom.

I was like, Dude, Jared, settle down.

I tried to pick a different seat, and she was clamoring for me to sit next to her.

Why have I been holding this?

So I have two games we could do.

That's a great segue.

What's the game?

The first game is, Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Yes. There's some things we could do with that.

Absolutely.

The other one- You have to cut that?

God, just bleep it.

You can just say stuff like that now.

You said it. You started it.

No, leave it in 2024, dude.

The other game is from... I was watching Good mythical Morning, and they were playing this game, and it looked really I don't exactly know camera-wise how we could do it, but maybe we can make it work. So essentially, the Good mythical Morning game was like, assuming me and Jared would be on teams, you two would be on teams. We ask you questions and then you have to answer for yourself, and your partner has to wager what they think the answer is, and that's why you have the chips.

Okay, so Skyler and I, then you two? Yeah.

You guys can choose what game you want to play.

Yeah, let's start the wager one, and then we'll do the other one afterwards if we have time.

What time are we at? Time-to-me.

40? Yeah.

God, we've had a great time. I've marked my pants up.

No, that's the next one. That'll come out. You give me that, give me some Dawn soap in an Afternoon. That was coming out.

You had to do that when granny left.

Your granny gave me a 10 to 15 minute tutorial on her stain removing process.

There is nothing better than having-She was fired up. I've realized this. Okay, Marley is my new assistant, Marley, you've been doing great. For whatever reason, Marley, you die or get another job, I think I'm going to hire an eight-year-old woman.

Hire your granny.

My granny would be great. But there's a couple of nuances she wouldn't be great at. The whole email thing, I don't know if she'd be pretty top of the line.

She does lurk a little bit, too.

She's always lurking. Yeah, but it's a positive lurk. Oh, it's a positive lurk. It's a look out.

She's a look out. But the problem is also this would be-My mom will lurk. Oh, your mom's lurking.

I'm going to say a question, and I'm going to give you options. So you're going to have multiple choice, basically. And from those options, you'll... So you'll go first, and you'll go first. So I'm going to ask you to the questions. You are going to answer for yourself.

For ourself? Okay. Do we write this down?Yeah.

Lock in the end. Yeah, ride it so we can lock it in.

Then why the hell we have these boards?

That's for are you smarter than a fifth grader?

Obviously.

I mean, you can if you want.

Why do I keep have to cap off? God damn nightmare. Okay.

So Here's the question. If your partner had to choose another profession, what would it be? We have a food stylist.

Well, we should write it down so we don't change it, right?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Okay. We have a roadkill cleaner.

A roadkill cleaner, a food stylist?

We have a Zambony driver.

Oh, that's fucking fun, dude. We have a professional cuddler.

And then we have a hot air balloon coordinator.

Okay.

So, Zack and Then, Jared, write down what you want, what you think.

Run them through quick.

Don't you-Speed run them. Don't you look either way to see how they run? I won't. Speed run.

Professional cuddler, food stylist, road kill cleaner, Zambony driver, or hot air balloon coordinator. What are you guys going to choose as your professional career?

I know his answer.

Then me and Skyler are going to wager however many chips we want on who we think our partner will be.

Okay. Is there a maximum I'm allowed to wager?

No, you can do as much as you want. If you win, you get our chips. If we win, we get your chips.

So whoever has the most chips. But all of these red chips are ours together. So we're a team.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

When do I reveal?

After me. I am going to wager five. And just knowing how Jared is, I'm going to go with professional cuddler.

Okay.

I would assume Jared was going to take Zamboanie driver.

A hundred % is the Zamboanie guy.

Because when he said Zamboanie, he yelled. He said, whoa, Zamboanie.

No, he said, That's awful.

No, that's awesome. No, I said, I said, That sounds fucking fun.

He said it's awful. Which feels like cheating.

I didn't realize.

How did you pick?

I picked the Zamboanie driver. I don't want to cuddle some fucking weirdo. They can't get a cuddle.

Okay, I picked food style guy.We.

Get their chips.Yeah.

But we get however many we wager.

How many did you wager? I wager eight, so I get eight of yours.

Oh, okay. I see.

We're We're going to take these people to fucking task.

Robbie, will you hand those?

Yeah, Robbie, be our chip runner. You're like our pit boss. Bring them over.

Which doesn't make a ton of sense how we're doing this chip distribution thing. It should just be you wade your chips like you're betting against the house, and then you get more rather than each other.

Yeah, I don't know, dude.

I don't mean I don't care.

No, it's fine. We'll do it this way. We'll do it this way. Thank you for your chips. It is nice to see blue chips on our side. Okay.

First blood. So we'll do- Where are the tacos at, Robbie?

He goes, There's no tacos.

I came down and you said there's going to be tacos from COO Rob.

I was just lying.

It's all right.

I put out an awesome-New Year's resolution. No lying.

Now we switch. Me and Skyler decide what we want, and you guys-Yeah, got it. This is question. If your partner was a character from a movie or a TV show, what would they be? We have-What would they want to be or what would they be? What would they be?

Okay. It's different.

Completely different.Loki, Sheldon,Creamer from the Big Bang Theory.

Okay.

Nigel Thornberry. Creamer from Seinfeld.

Okay.

And Bart Simpson. Should we do who they want to be or what should we do?

It should be who they want to be.

Okay. This is who we want as a partner.

No, who you would want to be as a character.

Who we want to be as a character. Yeah.

I'll just write on the back of this.

I I thought it was not the question. Ask the question again.

Well, we can change it. If your partner was a character from a movie or a TV show-If your partner...

Oh, your partner. I was thinking partner, relationship partner.

No, no. If you as a human Him, right? Not me.

Yes, correct. Okay. You.

You're doing for you, and he gets to your needs. What does he want to be, or what is he? What's his essence?

Let's say what he wants to be. Okay.

Can you read them one more time?

We got Loki, Sheldon.

Sheldon from the Big Bang. Nigel Thornberry. Nigel Thornberry.

Kramer. Kramer and Bart Simpson.

Okay.

Okay.

What I want to be.

Okay.

So you guys wager what you think. I mean. Don't say anything.

Who he would want to be. I mean, there's a clear answer, I think, of who anyone would want to be. But I think Skyler would-What are you wadering? A 9, 10. I'll only wager 10. We should have had a lot less chips. We should have had half the chips.

We'll start up on our best.

I'm up in mine.

How much?

I'm going to wager 17.

Oh my God. I'll meet you there.

I'm wadering half of my hand. I'll wager 20 then.

You can't just We're re-raising each other. I'm getting nervous.

Should I do 20?

Yeah, just do 20.

Cap it at 20. We flip. Cap it at 20.

All right, Jared, you go first.

Okay, I'm betting 20 that she wants to be Loki.

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, Skyler. If you didn't pick this person, I'm going to be so mad because you've been bringing it up a lot lately. I'm going to go with Kramer.

Okay. Can I defend myself? No. Yeah. I was going with Loki because-I know.

Listen, that's the one- I knew you were fucked when you said, Well, everyone wants to be Loki.

He's like, But Skyler might. I was like, Oh, no. He's going down the path.

I knew everyone would be Loki, but I thought you'd do Kramer because we've been talking about it.

I was going to do Kramer, And then I was like-I just lost 20 of these fat boys. Yes, sir. Fuck. My bad. Actually, technically, you're bad.

Thank you.

That was your guess. And you said you knew the answer. You knew the path, the truth alive.

Yeah, but I didn't think you'd go there.

Thank you.

All right. All right. I like this game, Alyssa.

Yeah, this is a good game.

So you hate this game?

He likes it.

You got to get some different ears.

And there's the confidence as well. Okay.

If your partner was a meme, what meme would they be?

So what meme would I be?

The seal. Okay. We have this change my mind guy. Okay. This girl meme. Okay. This whatever it is. Cat thing. Cat thing. And then this I'm fine guy.

Okay.

This guy, this is easy.

This is tough. Okay. Because there's a couple on there.

Can you read the question? If he was a meme?

If your partner was a meme, what meme would they be?

What meme is he?

What meme am I? Bet it all. Okay. Bet it all.

What meme am I?

Bet it all, dude. I'm thinking two for Jared.

I'm also thinking two.

I don't think we're on the same page. I bet it all.

Who am I? You know what I mean?

Okay. Do you want to go first?

Be a part of something bigger than yourself.

Yeah, go ahead. No, you just... No. I'm so confused.

How much are you wagering?

I'm trying to wager at all. I'm going five.

What? No, wager at all. We got to get back in this race. They just got a 20 bone on us. I'll do 10.

Go ahead. How much are you wagering?

Seven. Okay. Seven.

Go first.

Okay. I am going just because how you are for the majority of the time, sometimes I'm going to go with the fire.

Oh, Alyssa.

You went with this in you.

No.

Really? You went with the Penguin, the first one.

I was going to go with the seal. I went with the seal.

It was between the seal or the fire guy?

Why would you be the seal?

Can I look at them really fast? I don't think I'm right at all.

Yes, you do.

Dude, I should have done the fire guy.

I think it's the fire guy, but it could also be the white lemer, but I think it's the fire guy.

What are you going with?

I'm fire. Firehouse. Everything's fine.

No, that's not me.

Is it the white lemer?

No, I'm changed my mind.

He's the hardest person to negotiate with.

I did I did not think that was you.

I'm not trying to change people's minds of politics like that guy.

Exactly. That's what I'm thinking, though. Like the meme embodies your spirit.

I'm just once I have a thought in my mind, it's like, yeah, there's no changing it.

So what happens? I don't know what we're doing. That made me angry.

Yeah,what happens if we lose? If we both lose? How much did you wager?

Seven.

She waged seven. No one won.

No one won.

No, we should get your seven. You should get our 10, right? No. Interesting.

Because we-That makes sense. Okay, here. Take the 10. Because we-No. No. Jared, catch them. I got you. I throw it tight.

Or give it to COO Rob.

No, watch this. You're going to want to watch this.

I'm going to watch this. I did catch eight of them.

I know. I saw.

Okay. How many of these do we have?

One, two, three, four, five. I have six remaining, but we can just-No, keep going.

I'm seeing how much we can get back. I'm putting our coins together. I want people to be able to see our coins.

So So it's me and Skyler now.

Okay.

If your partner could have the most unusual skill, it would be... So we're answering for ourselves, Skyler. They could instantly learn the entire history of a random object.

Fuck, that's Skyly, too. But you got a little something on your lip.

They could flawlessly make balloon animals.

Okay. That would be such a fun one.

They would be able to recite every line from the Lion King.

Okay.

They could always guess the exact number of jelly beans in any jar. Oh. And don't speak. And they could perfectly mimic the sound of a rubber chicken in any situation.

And I'm writing for myself? Yes, for yourself.

Which one would you rather have?

Which one?

If your partner could have the most unusual skill, it would be.

So I would have, right? Yeah. Okay. Wager everything.

I wager it all.

You're betting everything? Yeah. So what?

I'll go and say it. He's jellybean guy.

Okay. I'm going to wager 10. Alyssa is- You said something when he said it, you feel like this is sick. The sound That's the thing.

Did you hear the first?

Yeah, that's why I was going with that one, too. You said the other stupid thing.

Jared said, Jared was like, that's definitely Skyler. I just thought the Jellybeen one is sick. It is sick. It is over. It's not it. It is sick, but it's not the cult. I would rather have the history, but the jellybean.

We have no coins.

There aren't that many opportunities to show off the jellybean thing.

But that's what I thought it was the first one until you literally said, That's so sick.

That one was obviously sick. That one was.

That That one was an unspoken sickness. I 100% thought it was the object thing, too. You're like, That's so sick.

So essentially, you lost all your coins.

Why would you say that?

Well, Zack lost all of his. Skyler still has some over here.

We did a mutual funding.

I I said the jelly beans.

We put all of our coins.

Damn it.

Oh, wait, I have some right here. Oh. He just wadred that amount. This amount, he didn't wager.

Okay, good. Wait, how many did you wager?

Ten.

We have ten, at least. Robbie, can I use you? These are no longer ours.

Alyssa, we just cleaned up on such a gimme. You can drop it off at her. Did you all get that one?

You all got that one right?

No.

I said that- Throw them all to me. I got a cool trip. Underhanded, Jared. Don't throw them like a fucking I don't really have the...

You said like a Filipino.

Like a football.

Okay. That was really cool.

You caught seven. Not bad. Wait, you left one down there.

Well, no, don't tell me that. Remind me after we lose. I don't have one bullet.

This is for Zack and Jared?

We have to get on track, dude.

This is the next question. We got to lock him.

The history thing was my bad.

We got to bet it all.

The history thing was not... That was Zack's bad.

If your partner had to change their name, what would they change it to? Okay. We have baby cakes.

Okay.

No one say anything.

We have Alopecia. We have koozie. We have bacon, and we have Sir Knight. So you're guessing for Zack. I'm guessing for Jared.

Dude, I know exactly who I'd be. Dude, is that? That's him, dude.

Okay.

How much are you wadering?

I'm wadering it all. Oh my God. Okay. I'm not picking this one, but I was torn between two. I thought Sir Knight Justice. There's something about that for him that I think he would like. But I mean, come on. It's Coozy, dude.

That's the Cooze. Wait, I also... No, that means you lose. Disqualified. Disqualified. How many did you bet?What the fuck?

I was so excited.

How many has she bet? Who was betting?

I bet, damn it. What were you going to say?

I think I bet 15. I was going to say Sir Knight. Yep. Do you know me?

I'm not Sir Knight, man. How much?

You've been playing Harry Potter for how long? Oh, so if they lose, we get theirs plus. Yeah, so we get 15 of yours.

Damn it.

There's no reason how many chips can pass around. But we should also get all of these, right? These are ours. Yeah, but we wagered that much.

Yeah, no, we wadred That's what I'm saying. We wagered that much. If we would have lost, we would have had to give them that much. That's why it makes sense.

But I thought we got back however many we wagered.

No, you just get what we wager. But if we both lose, then we trade.

No, because it doesn't make sense for us to wager a lot at all. It makes sense for us to get however many back we wagered, or else, why would I ever in my life wager more than one? Do you understand?

Yeah. No. Okay.

We should get however many we wagered from them. It doesn't make sense. Of course, I'm going to wager zero every time because if I lose, they don't get any.

Well, you have to wager something. No.

Why would I wager any more than one?

Yeah. Yes, he's right. Because if we were playing like Jeopardy and you hit the Daily Double and you get the wager, you would wager. You're wadering to get more back. You wouldn't just get them in. You know what I'm saying?

Exactly. It has to make sense or else it doesn't make sense. So we need more.

Hold God, we established this afterwards. We'll do it on the next one.

It's a betting system currently.

We'll do it on the next one.

On the next what?

The next question.

I'm in a village of idiots.

We haven't even asked the question yet.

Sign up for the Patreon.

Okay. If your partner could only use one swear word for the rest of their life, which would it be? We have bitch. We have shithead.

This is what Skyler would use.

Did he just go?

No, it was me and Zack. That's the coo.

So it is. Yeah, that's what Skyler would use. We have fuck. We have balls, and see you next Tuesday.

Okay. So God damn it didn't make the list. Just wondering.

Okay. I'm between two.

Okay, so it's me.

Okay. I'm between two right now.

How many are you wadering?

3, 6, 10. 3, 6, 10. Actually, 3, 6, 20.

Are you sure?

It has to be. I'm wadering it all. Fuck, yeah. So if we win, I get all of it.

So you're just breaking the game?

It's not breaking the game. What are you talking about?

I'm nervous, Jared, because I'm between two now, too.

You already write it down? Yeah, I did. Okay. The answer is locked in. Jared, go first.

I said, Fuck. Yes. Okay, there we go.

I said see you next Tuesday.

Real answer.

The C-word.

No, it's fuck, dude.

Why? You love that word. You call your mom that all the time.

I say fuck more often.

Yeah. Fuck has so much.

I thought you use the other one for special occasions.

Didn't know see you next week. She was meaning...

Got to believe that.

Why? Because why wouldn't you just write, you wrote bitch, fuck, balls? Because I don't like the word.

My guy was confused on this one.

No, you can't wriggle your way out of this.

I didn't know about that. Yeah.

No one would know that's what that meant. I knew what that meant.

Everybody knows what See You Next Tuesday means. No, I Sweet Honey Iced Tea.

What?

Sweet Honey Iced Tea. What did you just say?

No one knows that. Don't feel like you know what that is.

I didn't know the Sweet Honey Iced Tea, but all we have are the chips on the floor.

No, wait, this has got to be held in contention.

But I knew the See You Tuesday. I didn't know why. If you were confused, you should have asked. Stop saying the word. I have to bleep it every time. You were confused.

You should have asked because obviously, just see you next Tuesday is not a swear word.

I thought you were being stupid. I thought it was a joke.

But what if Would you have chosen that if it was an option? It would have definitely been in the conversation.

I didn't know.

It would have been in the conversation.

Yeah, I didn't. Fuck was the only one. If God damn would have... Is that okay?

Yes, you can say that.

That seems a little anti-religious. I think Hey, fucking don't give them those. We're in a middle of something. What?

No, no, no, no, no.

Robbie, can you give these to them? I'm a man of honor.

You have one chip. You're betting it all.

This is bullshit.

He took it from me and goes, The rules, the rules. No, we got two. There's one next year. All right.

Should this be the last one?

Yeah, last one. We're out of coins. All in.

Okay, we're going all in. Or should we just do... I'm just going to do two. Oh, wait, you're wadering.

Now we're wadering it all.

If your partner could only dance in one specific embarrassing style forever, what would it be? We have the shopping cart.

What the hell is the shopping cart?

The sprinkler.

Okay.

The hook Hoki Poki.

That's funny. The Moonwalk. Really cool.

And the slow motion head bang.

Okay.

I know what I would be.

There's only one right answer to this.

No, there are a few contenders.

So I guess we're all going all in since last question.

And only one will turn yourself around. Why would you say that? That's what he was going with. Hold on. He knew I like to do that Hoki Poki, didn't you? You looked at me and you knew I did that.

Well, I was also doing the hokey-pokey and you turned yourself around.

Why would you guess the hokey-pokey?

Because you said that's funny when I turned it over.

Oh my God. So we're just blankly cheating.

Hokey-pokey.

What did you say? The slow motion headband? The moonwalk.

Do you know how sick it would be to just moonwalk?

You almost threw me off the trail, did you? You said that's sick when the moonwalk came up.

Because it is sick. It is sick because two things That's going to be true. You're right.

The hokey-pokey is funny. I don't want to have to do that for the rest of my life.

Do not even want to turn yourself around.

But that could be your staple because a lot of people can do the moonwalk.

But if you're at a local party and you're around some tens and you throw out that Hokey-pokey, They were going to be turning around.

Oh, yeah. That's true. You make them laugh, you know what they say. Yep, that's exactly what they say. Nailed it to a T. That was a game. That was a fun game. That was good. I realized that we don't know each other for the most part when it comes to stuff like that.

Well, I still want to play Are You Smart? The Fifth-Grader, so we can do that on the after-school special.

Yeah, let's do that on the after-school special.

Jump over to the Patreon. We're going to play Are You Smart? The Fifth-Grader. If I were to figure out which one of us is the smartest people in the entire world. It's seven a free trial. Look in the description, you sweet baby angels.

All right. See you next week. Happy New Year.

Oh, write your resolutions in the comments and keep each other accountable or else I'll kill my...

Fantastic idea. Hit the outro.

Happy New Year's.

No, don't say that. Dude, now I have to replace the entire outro. Why?

You have to beep. Here, I'll give you a clean beep. You can use that anytime. Why not do this one? Wait, try this one.

You can do that one. You can do this one.

That one's sick.

What was that?

Don't squack it. No, it wasn't a dolphin. That was not a dolphin.

Hold on. That's not a dolphin.

That's a dolphin. That's a dolphin.

That's a really good dolphin.