Transcript of Get Over Myself!

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Konan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Konan? Visit teamcoco. Com/callkonan. Okay, let's get started.

Hey, Dan. Welcome to Konan Brian needs a fan.

What?

I couldn't remember if it was friend or foe.

Hey, Dan, how are you?

I'm doing great. Thank you guys for having me on.

Where are you coming to us from, Dan? Where are you?

I'm in Vacaville, California, so near Sacramento, Napa Valley area.

Oh, okay. Very nice. I'm looking at your background. It looks like you're working on a nuclear submarine. There's all kinds of machinery behind you. It's very cool looking. What are you building? It looks like you're up to something.

I'm a glass blower, a glass artist. I work with... These are glass lays. I work with glass tubing and glass rods rods, and I create stuff out of glass.

Okay, what stuff do you create out of glass, primarily? Are we talking a vase? Are we talking a test tube? Are we talking glasses? What are you making?

My main product that I make is water pipes, so I make bongs, basically.

I see them back there. Look at those. Okay, so on is salivating. Yes.

You make bongs. Did you start making bongs because of your personal affinity for bongs, or you just like making them, or you like the shape? What drew you to making bongs?

I started in high school, so I feel like everyone in high school wanted or needed a bong. I liked making things, so that drew me to it. I wanted to do welding, but it was a little complicated, I feel like, so I went into glassblowing, which was even more complicated.

Yeah, I was going to say glassblowing feels incredibly difficult. I mean, just the little I know about it, right? You got to heat up the material, right? And get it molten. And then you- I watch the show on Netflix.

Blown away? Yeah, blown away. So I know I'm basically a glassblower.

Okay. Yeah. Is that an accurate representation of glass blowing, the TV show Blown away?

Yeah, it is. Mine's a little different. I use a torch, so I don't have a big furnace of glass. I have a torch that I use, and then I get these glass tubes in four foot lengths, and then I'll create stuff out of that. I don't have a big furnace that I pull globs of glass out of. I use that torch.

You know what? I think I have more respect for you because I think anybody can do it with a big furnace. I do. I think anybody can do it with a... Oh, big furnace, yawn. Oh, look, I have a big furnace, and I accidentally made 900 glasses today. But you're using a torch, and that takes real skill. I think that takes a real artist. I know I'm probably throwing shade on a huge part of the glassmaking community, but fuck those guys. I'm with you, man. I'm with you, Dan, and I say it's torch or nothing. I'm going to start saying that to people who say they're a glassblower. I'm going to say, Furnace or torch. If they say furnace, I'm out. I'm just going to walk away, and then I'm going to smash all the glass. I appreciate that. Yeah. I'm going to drive by later and throw stones through their window and go like, You should get a torch, and peel out.

Really took a turn.

I'm sorry. If you use a furnace out there and you make glass, you know where to find me. I'm not afraid of you with your furnace. Dan, I don't know what happened right there. I love your take on that. A neurologist would say it's a brain bleed, possibly. I don't know. I'm getting faint. But this is cool. What's the name of your company?

It's called Apix Design Glass. I made that name when I was in high school for web design business I was doing, and then I just kept it through my glass-blowing business as well.

Okay. Is it easy for people to find you if they want some of your custom-made torch-hewn bongs?

Yeah, if you look up ApixDesign, then yeah, I got a website, I got an Instagram. I have a good little following of people who like my glass, so it's easy to find it.

When someone buys a bong, how long does that bong last, and do they then come back for more bongs? Does a person buy multiple bongs in a year? How does it all work?

What's a bong life?

It's such a square.

Well, I'm sorry. I want you to know more of this bong culture. I took an aspirin once. Some people I had an aspirin once in 1992, and I was taken to the hospital. I don't know a lot about bongs, but I've seen them portrayed in film. Do you have some bongs there you could show us? I just want to see some of these bongs. I want to keep I'm saying bomb. I actually sent you guys a gift.

What?

Let me see.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This thing is... I didn't know about this. She's beautiful.

Look at this. Oh, my God.

Sir, I'm not. All joking aside, you are an artist. Truly. That is gorgeous. Look, he's done. I mean, yes, you've got the Konan logo. You've got, oh, my God, he's got the late night moon.

We're bearing the lead. There's three mouthpieces here. This is like the equivalent of sharing a milkshake except for a thruple at a Grateful Dead show.

It's a Chill Chums bong, so you all can take a hit at the same time.

It's for when the cast of Challenges wants to use a bong together. This is beautiful. I mean, look at the... The design is gorgeous. Then it's got this stopper has a pompador.

I guess a bull. It's the bowl.

What's It's the bowl.

It's not a stopper.

That is the bowl.

No, I don't know the official- I don't know what the name is.

This isn't the stopper. This is the cap.

That's where you put the weed.

No, I know the weed goes in here, he said, lying.

No, the The wheat goes into the thing you're holding.

It goes into this bowl. Right. Oh, I see. This is the bowl. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay, Spicoli. Take it easy.

But go ahead and show us where the stopper is. I know.

What you do is you Then when it's heated up, you drink.

No.

Oh, God. Do you remember when we had Seth Rogan on the last Conan O'Brien episode, and he on camera offered me one of his marijuana cigarettes. Do you remember this? I do. I put the wrong end in my mouth, and people thought, Oh, Conan's doing a bit. I wasn't doing a bit.

It's okay.

I just didn't I know. I know. It's okay. It's not okay. I know. I've got to start doing a lot of drugs quickly. You catch up.

There's so much going on here. It's beautiful. Is this a gerble?

What? Those are gerbles, yeah.

You put gerbles in there. Oh, my God.

This is talk of gerbles. This is incredible.

This thing is we need to take Bley.

Is that a butt plug?

What? What are you doing?

How does this get in your butt with these three things in your way? What's your butt like?

There's no butt plug on it. Can I just say this is a Rorschach blot you've given it? No kidding. Everyone sees That's what they want to see. I just see a bong.

You two are insane.

This thing, Blake, you have to take multiple-We will, yes. Detailed photographs of this that capture... We shall. Dan, you're an artist. This is just a work of sculpture.

We have Konan's Doodle on there. We've got the old Late Night Moon and Stars, Team Coco branding, Konan on TBS branding. It's got a big cockatoo glass It could be a poppador.

It's a three-way glass bong.

So again, all three- That's the real question.

Do you think we'll ever actually three?

Yes, we will. I think we will. I'm down. Our faces are going to have to It is close. I know.

For the next summer's Smoors.

No, no. Guess what? We'll do it. Really? We'll do it. Yeah, I'll get over myself. Sure.

You said that to me like, get over myself.

I want to drink anything.

There's no drinking with When it comes to bogs. There's no drinking. You said, Oh, you take a sip here.

Can I just say one thing? It also looks like it would make great coffee. You know what? I think it would make great coffee because I see where the little creamer would go in.

This is incredible.

It is absolutely It makes me want to relive some old days. Yeah. Oh, girl. Slashback to last week. Last week in Pasadena- I was talking about the gerble. The gerble filed papers, by the way.

How can I help?

It's a question I ask my patients every day. It's a question I ask myself. One thing I've learned is that I can help even more when I can easily connect with...

Physios. Pediatricians, specialists. Nurses.

Who are all working with me in a healthcare network that takes a wider view of your health. That's VHI, where healthcare connects. So let me rephrase the question. How can we help?

Vhi, because your health means everything. Dan, my favorite thing is when we meet fans that are so creative. We have a lot of creative fans, and man, you have just rocketed way to the top.

He's also made some glasses here. We have some glasses.

These are- Oh, these are beautiful.

Then he made special drinking glasses for each one of you.

This is really… God.

Sona, this is yours here.

Gorgeous.

This is for Konan. It's obviously the biggest one.

Okay. Well, you got to... Oh, my God.

Then Matt here. The smallest. Yeah, these little goblets.

These are beautiful. What glass is this? Glass? Is it a type of glass? Tell us what this is.

Yeah, this is a scientific glassware. You'd It's lined in really nice pyrex glass, basically. This can be used for... It can go in the dishwasher. It's not sensitive to heat, so you can put hot stuff in there, no problem.

This is extraordinary.

Oh, my God. This is sweet.

What's this?

It's like a Sherlock Holmes pipe.

That is really sweet, Dan. Thank you so much.

A special extra gift for Sona. Oh, that's nice.

That really means a lot. Thank you very much.

Which is a blue- No problem.

I'm glad I could get you guys some stuff. Once I heard I was I'm going to be on here, I really wanted to get something made for you guys.

Well, I just almost said it and then realized people think I'm trying to make a lame joke, but I am blown away. I wasn't trying to make a joke. I just started to It's the same thing. I'm going to say it. You should watch it first because the way they finish it is in cyanide powder.

Is this safe to drink out of? Dan, can I drink out of this? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you can drink out of it. How long does it take you to build that bong?

I got on Thursday that you guys wanted me to be on here. Then by Saturday, I was finishing it up. Then Sunday, I did the sandblasting, and I sent it out on Monday. Oh, my God. If I really want to get something done, I can do it pretty quick.

I can't believe you put this in the mail because the guy who delivers my boxes, shucks them over the fence. Yeah, that's incredible. I'm amazed this made it in one piece. It's incredible. I'm using my glass right now.

I'm glad it made it to you guys.

Wow. Did you have any question for me, Dan? Other than, I mean, look at this. I think it should be a requirement now. I was just going to say, more fans. More fans that send wonderful gifts. I mean, they didn't even have to have made it, but like, Oh, I went to a store and I bought you this Paddock Philippe watch. I'm like, Hmm, yes, add it to the pile.

This made me cry a little. It's beautiful.

It's really sweet. It is. Also, Sona has been through a really rough time lately.

It's nice That was very sweet, Dan.

Things are coming your way now.

Yes, yes, yes, they are. This is beautiful. Yes, they are.

I'm glad you guys like it. Mom is going to be happy tonight. It's all fixed. Why is mommy asleep? It's four in the afternoon. Quiet, Charlie. Quiet, Mikey.

Why is Step Brothers on all day?

On a loop. Wow, Dan, I cannot thank you enough. This is absolutely beautiful. Really, really great. We're going to find a hallowed space for this because we have little spaces here that are becoming installations. This is our Peewees' Playhouse, and this is going to have a prominent space here. We're very proud of this. We're proud to have you as a fan, really.

Hey, thank you very much. Yeah, I had one quick question. I was curious, as a celebrity-I'll handle this. When I get home, I like to do stuff around the house. I'll help my wife doing stuff or I'll work on the backyard. I was curious as a celebrity, is there something that you go home and your wife's like, I want these photos hung up on the wall? What do you do when you get home and you're asked to do something? Do you just call someone or do you take charge of doing stuff like that?

I immediately pull rank. I say, Do you realize who I am and what I've accomplished? Then I start to show her a montage of things I've worked on over the years. No. A big thing for my wife, Liza, is she's a very good cook, and she does the cooking, and I'm not good at cooking. She really wants me to set the table, and that's important to her that I set the table. Sometimes I set the table, but she'll make a passive-aggressive comment like, Usually people use napkins. Then I'll go, All right. Then I'll go to the napkin drawer and get those. Did you put Trivets down? Because I got to put something, this is hot. Okay, all right. Because sometimes I try to go real minimal. Setting the table means just there's two or three or four if my kids are around plates. But it's important for her that I do that. Then a big knock on me is that I've gotten much better at loading the dishwasher. I've gotten much better. But I think for a long time, and this goes back to childhood, it was a problem for me, loading the dishwasher.

The way you do it or just doing it in general?

When I do it, it's doing it in general, and then when I do it, it's awful. I'll try and jam a large plate into the silverware tray. My wife usually ends up redoing it. There's twice as many calories burned Pity this woman because it's like asking an ape to help you with brain surgery. Then I just go rushing around the operating room, smashing into things. I would say most of my chore is revolve around dinner, ways that I can help complement and facilitate the serving of dinner. That's a little peek into my life. That's true. Okay, awesome.

That's what I wanted to hear I was curious what you... If you called a butler to come help you or something. Yeah, we had a butler once.

Bley, how did you like it?

Still waiting for payment. Yeah.

No butler, not yet. That's one of those things from just old movies that I have to say it always fascinated me. It was an idea from that if someone had means, they would have a butler.

Even if it was just a bachelor, there would be a gentleman Yeah, a gentleman there who, This is my man.

His name's Gordon. He'll take care of everything. He's in the corner usually polishing a glass behind a little cool minibar. No. Also, a Valet. I always thought, wow, someone who you wake up in the morning and your clothes are all laid out and then you have to... We travel so much for the travel shows. I'm always running around, cramming things into bags and going, Where's my extra special sunblock?

What's special about it?

It was made by the government. Anyway, that's what I do. I would say it's a fascination. No, no Butler and still no valet. But one day it'll all come my way. But now I've got the world's only triple bong with my name on it.

I can't believe there might be a point in the future where the three of us are facing This is that close together.

We're going to. That's where you're going to see me up close and fall in love. Oh, my God. Sweet. All right, well, Dan, thank you so much. I salute you. I love You're an artist. You really are. You are a terrific artist. Even though we are not related, you're a young lad, so I'm allowed to say I'm proud of you. I really am. I'm glad when I see... I really do get energized when I meet all these young people that can kick and do all these amazing things. You're a craftsman. You're out there killing it. So thank you so much, and best of luck with your company, APEX.

Apex. Yeah, APEX Design. Apex.

A-p-i-x.

It's right here. Apex. Apex. Apex. It's right here.

Cheers, Dan.

Oh, there it is. I was distracted by my own face. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. All right, shout out to APEX.

I can't wait to see you guys use that.

You will. All right, take care, Dan.

All right. Thank you, guys.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Konan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gourly. Produced by me, Matt Gourly. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/conin. Please rate, review, and subscribe O'Brien Needs a Fan' wherever fine podcasts are down.