Transcript of Club Grub Hub

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visitteamcoco.com/callconan. Okay. Let's get started.

Hi, Alejandra. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Hi. Oh my god. Hello.

I told myself to not freak out when I met you guys, and look how that went.

It's okay. You're allowed to freak out. That's okay. Your name is Alejandra. Is this

right? Alejandra.

Alejandra Trigeros. And where are you calling us from?

Well, just call me Bob if you're gonna say that.

Everyone's a wise guy.

Alejandra, tell us where are you right now? I'm in Madrid, Spain.

Oh my god. Madrid. I've never been to Madrid.

Yeah. Really? You're sure. In Barcelona? Everyone's been to Barcelona.

I've been to Barcelona, but I've never been to Barcelona. I've been and I but I've never been to Madrid, and I would I would love to see it someday. Alejandra, tell us a little bit. Do you go by Alejandra?

Mostly Ale. Ale. Okay. Ale. Yeah.

Alejandra sounds very serious. Like, my mom, when she gets mad at me.

Okay. So your English is perfect. You I mean, you sound god. You you sound like you're you're, you're coming to me from San Diego or something. I mean, you're it's Thank you.

Perfect right now or Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Well, I'm saying you have a beautiful Cincinnati accent. That's amazing. Yeah.

Hey. I'll take it. Over a thick local accent, I'll take it.

But Alejandra, how did your your I mean, you you live you're a, are you a citizen of of Madrid? You grew up in Madrid?

Yeah. I was born and raised here. Wow. I speak English like this because I suffer from an acute overconsumption of American entertainment. We're seeing really acute.

Oh, it's got

everything I get my hands on, podcasts, books, movies, TV shows, all the things. Yeah. So when people ask me about my English and I tell them I read a little bit of gossip every now and then, I see see, it pays off.

That's funny.

Comfortable with my English.

That's great. So you just basically watched American television, listened to American podcasts, and that has influenced. It's destroyed 1 of the most beautiful accents in the world.

Yeah. Well, I did live with Americans for about 3 years. France from New York.

Mhmm.

Shout out to Michelle, Pahlavi, and Jamie. Okay. And I spent 24 hours with them, really.

Great. Can we make sure we edit out

that, shout out, please? No. I don't know. Make sure it's edited out. I don't trust them.

They're gone.

They're not I'm not friends with them. I don't know them.

Dead to us.

Just put

a big over that shout out. Okay. Not for any other not for a legal reason, just that I don't know them and they should get no free rides. Right.

How about if I give you some credit? You and Ellen have also played a major role because I've consumed all the things, all the clips of your talk shows that I could get off the Internet because your shows weren't shown here. Oh. So when YouTube started, I started watching a bunch of Ellen, and YouTube suggested some clips of your show, and I was peeing my pants laughing. Oh, that's so glad

that I made you urinate. Alejandra, many people think I am Ellen, and many people go up to Ellen and say hi, Conan. So it's a common misconception.

Well, both pale, the hair color, and you've said your womanly looks. Yeah. I yeah. They're your words.

These are my words. These are my words come back to haunt me. Well, tell me a little bit about your life. Mostly, what I like to do is try and figure out how I can help my fans around the world. How can I help you, Alejandra?

What can I do for you? I don't think I can do much. You're very beautiful. You're obviously very smart, very well spoken. How can I help you?

So, I'm 34. I have 2 kids. I've recently had the second 1. She's 4 months old. And I actually have a little beef with you because I was recently trying to get her to sleep, and I listened to a lot of hours of this podcast.

And when I say you, I mean the 3 of you. Mhmm. And recently, you guys made me laugh so hard that I woke up my newborn who had just gone to sleep after about 30 minutes of trying to get her to sleep. I was like, oh my god. I hate them even though I love them.

Oh, no. You know what we should do? It's I should speak less, and you guys should speak more so that children can sleep. No.

We should speak in soothing tone. No. No. No. Just You mean so

it's not as funny as

Exactly. I think when I'm talking, it's like Oh. And then but I think you guys should take the lead. For us. Oh.

Well, I'm kinda shrill. So I think that it just should be gourly, but you're really funny too. So maybe I should I don't know. No 1 should talk.

If we just use just kinda foggier voices like this.

Yeah. Yeah.

Now you just sound

foggier. Be a listener,

but then again. Yeah. I wouldn't listen to the podcast. I've told many people you should not listen to the podcast, while caring for a sleeping baby because, I mean, the laughs are gonna come. They just are.

They are.

They are. So, well, congratulations on having, these these 2 children and a newborn. That's Yeah. I that's a lot of work, or so I'm told. What did I do?

Oh my god. Nothing.

Not really. Nothing. I was told by my wife you're to have nothing to do with these children. Smart. Yeah.

I she wanted them to grow up without the Conan influence.

So I'm very smart.

But and so, so are you are you taking care of them full time, or do you work?

So as of right now, I'm taking care of the little 1. The big 1 is in school. My husband's gone back to work, but I go back to work October 14th after, yeah, we got we get about 5 months of maternity leave in Spain.

Wow. Wow. So

It is a lot.

What is your what is your what is your profession?

I am a legal counsel in the legal department of a big engineering multinational. I do international commercial contracting. I'm boring myself by explaining this. Wow.

No. No. No. You first of all, first of all, Alejandro, do not sell yourself short. That is a I am very impressed.

That is a very high powered job you have.

Thank you.

And, I will tell you that's, that's quite a lot. I mean, you have sounds like your husband has a job. You have this very high powered job. You have 2 kids. That's a lot.

Like, my job is intense, but it's also not as insane as it is to become a lawyer in the US. It's a it's less years. It's a I studied about 6 years. Mhmm. Whereas in the US, you have to do, like, 4 undergrad and then about 3 of grad school, then the LSAT doing it and saying, here's not as insane, although I won't I'll take the compliment.

Yeah. Alejandra, you keep trying to convince me that you're not an impressive person, and yet you are clearly the smartest person out of the 4 of us

in this room, and you're not even in the room.

You're not in the room, and you're much smarter than we are.

Okay. Keep talking.

That's a lot, though. That's a lot to have.

Yeah. It's intense. I'm not sipping a lot.

And, to to be legal counsel for this massive company, that's big.

Yeah. It it's pretty big. Like, it's it's not a lot of sleeping. It's a lot of stressing, a lot of cortisol pumping all the time. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's a bit intense. I do, go to a fair amount of restaurants. I'm obsessed with food. I grew up in a family that talks about nothing other than food. So I I make a point of taking some space for myself, going to restaurants, trying delicious food, going out with friends.

So I do manage to get some space for myself. Otherwise, I'd be

I'm impressed by that because, not that I'm throwing her under the bus or anything, but when my children were born, my wife said no restaurants, no movies, no joy for anyone until they're 12 years old. And, kinda locked it down. Kinda locked it down. And so, we're just sort of you know, they're they're both in college now, and we just I I we're just now going outside again, and I remembered, oh,

that's that's

the sun. Look at the sun. There. That burning orb in the sky.

Hey. But, anyway, I love my wife. Kid.

Shut it down. That's so nice. I my wife was not we were not going to restaurants for quite a while. Yeah.

Is that because she was tired or she didn't wanna, like, was afraid what

of what your kids would do in the restaurant?

She just didn't wanna leave the kids behind. Oh, indicate. Yeah. Are young, I mean, you're not taking your kids to I think it's first of all, in Spain correct me if I'm wrong, but in Madrid, don't you start eating the time to start, dinner, I think, is at 2 o'clock in the morning. Isn't that when you guys have dinner?

Fairly late. Not 2 AM, but it is fairly

late. Dinner?

Like, a a regular dinner that's not too early, not too late would be at 9. Oh. If somebody

tells you at 9.

I'm asleep by then. Yeah.

No. I'm serious. My wife Yeah.

My foreign friends wanna book tables at 7, and restaurants aren't even open. No. No. No. You the earliest earliest table they have is at 8:30.

Oh, boy. This is a true thing. The McDonald's, in Madrid, they all serve breakfast. They start at 5 o'clock in the afternoon. That's a true story.

You can't have it before then. Lunch is at 6 o'clock, and then, you can't get, Big Mac, I don't think, till 4 AM. They're all insane. It's not called the Big Mac in Spain. It's called the El it's called the conquistador.

Yeah. My husband's foreign, and he does not do well with our eating schedule here.

Where is your husband from?

From Poland.

Okay. He's from Poland. So he must think these people are crazy. They're going out to have

says it often.

Full I mean, these are elaborate meals too. Right? You're having elaborate meals in elaborate restaurants.

Yeah. What time do you go to bed, and are you going to bed just in full digestion mode? Or

No. I think people go to bed at, like, 11 PM. So if you have dinner at, like, 7, then you're really hungry by the time you go to bed. No?

No. No. I You

should just

give it a shot.

I think you're just different people. They're I'm telling you that it's a it's a whole different culture. They're different people. They have massive meals very late at night. I love that.

And,

and then theory. I love that.

I love that.

Well, first

of all also happens late.

So, okay. You go out to to these meals. Is your husband coming with you on these meals when you

go on? Mostly, we take turns to go out with friends because if both of us leave, then it's a whole thing. Either my mom, the nanny, like, it's it's too much. So I'm mostly looking for space with my friends.

Okay. That's alright. You, this also sounds familiar. You don't wanna spend time with your spouse, but with your friends. Yes.

My wife did a lot of that as well. Mhmm. Conan, why don't you stay here and people who make me laugh can have dinner with me? It was all your friends?

Yeah. Yeah.

It was all my friends. Yeah. It was you guys. Yeah. Yeah.

Was always saying, alright.

I'm gonna see meeting Matt and Sona.

So the best times in the world hunky dory, that bar in the corner. So Alejandra, let me understand this. You you have this big job. You have 2 young children, a husband, but you also like to go out to eat. This all sounds that says a lot to to balance, isn't it?

This is a lot to juggle.

It is. It's it it I I do have mental breakdowns a bit often, to be honest.

Yeah.

But but it I'm still short of managing sanity. Yeah. Yeah. I can make it look like I'm sane. Yeah.

So

No. I I do that too.

Yeah. I do that all the time. Really? Do you?

Yeah. I don't know. I'm not so sure.

Not so good.

Well The

wheels are coming off the trolley. Yeah. So, it must be hard to balance all of that is what I'm guessing. It's just hard to

Yeah. I don't get a lot of free time, but sometimes self care just isn't so easy and you have to make time for yourself or else I feel a lot more guilty when I lose my patients because I haven't had any oxygen or space Yes. Than when I go out or go for a massage or go for friends. So that's really important.

You know, there's an old saying that, when you're on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down, you've gotta put yours on first before you put it on the child.

Can't help.

And my theory has always been, I take both masks.

I put both masks on.

A child's got smaller lungs. They'll figure it out. They don't need as much. Right? And God forbid, but you can, you know, get another child somewhere.

So that's always been my point is

get another child somewhere.

Well, I don't know. You know what I mean? Whatever. They come along. So my point, Alejandra, is you need to take much more time for yourself.

The children will figure it out. Do you know what I mean? You need you're working very hard. You gave birth to them. Check.

I think that's enough. Right? And, I think I think you should be having dinner starting at 9, then I think you shouldn't feel any guilt. I think you should hit the clubs afterwards. And Oh, babes.

You'll see the kids when

too old for that now.

Yeah. You'll see you're too old? I just got to clubs? Yeah.

Yes. I am.

Oh, no. I just hit the age when I think I'm ready to go to the clubs. I never went to the clubs before. I missed out, and I wanna go to the clubs now.

Talking about, like, golf clubs?

No. I'm talking about the clubs.

Did you think you were too young before to go, like, when you were like I just didn't know where they were. No 1 told you where

they were. People were very evasive when I said, where's the clubs?

And they'd be like, you I don't know. We gotta go.

And they were all dressed, and they had glow sticks and stuff. I never went to a club, and now I think is the time. Once I hit 60, I thought, now is the time to hit the clubs.

Better late than never. The sweet spot. Sona, are you doing any clubbing, having twins? That's intense. I'm not, but it did take me a while to get back to, like, the thing.

And then a couple days ago, I had not a couple days. A couple weeks ago, I had a milestone where I threw up from drinking too much. And I'm like, I remember that feeling.

And then another time Hey, mom. Congratulations.

And then very recently, I I was like, I was out with a friend. I got too high. I had to leave my car there and I took a Lyft home.

You know what? I

love that. Up back, baby. Dog. Your back. That's being young again.

Y'all didn't have hips. Are nowhere to be found for your back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And like you, I go out and then tackle stay home with the with the boys. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Because you've gotta get super drunk. You doing any of it? No. And that is yeah. 1 and you had, like, 2 drinks,

and that was it. His club is, probably a historical society where they talk about

Well

you know, Eisenhower's contributions to the, highway system Yeah. In the 19 fifties in America.

Could get into that. He is so very cultured. That is true. No. I don't go to clubs.

They come to me.

Nice. They sure do.

Nice. Move.

He thinks Grubhub is a club.

It rhymes, doesn't it? Yeah.

He thinks that when he gets his sandwich delivered

Club Grubhub.

Alejandra, if let's say you and I were to hang out. Let's say and this is this is all theoretical, but let's say I were in Madrid and you and I were to hang out. How would you want me to help you? How could I assist you? How could I improve your life?

So I would love to since I'm obsessed with food and American comedy, it would be amazing for me if we shared a meal, 1 of those long meals, maybe lunch, if you don't wanna have dinner. So No. I dinner sounds good. Dinner sounds good. Oh, well then dinner.

Yeah.

Because we're both the young and hip and club followers.

You so much for saying that. So you're a you're a I I you're a you're a young, attractive woman who is willing who thinks that I'd be the perfect guy to have a late dinner with in Madrid and then hit the clubs. Is that what you're saying?

Why not? Yes. Why not?

I know.

Oh, hold on. Let me take

out my list here.

No. But, like, by having dinner with me, you'd made me laugh because you want to.

When I was single, a shrug and a why not was the best I could get.

What is Spanish for

how do you say in in in Spain? How do you say why not?

Por que no?

Yeah. Por que no. So Ira I mean, I I think if I had grown up in Madrid, my adolescence and alter my twenties thirties would have been a lot of women going, por que no?

Was it was it Liza, will you marry me? Why not?

Yeah. That was in our vows. Her her vow her she said, why not? I said, I do. She said, why not?

I

do. Yeah. I don't not. Yeah. Yeah.

During that meeting, I would ask you, which which connects with the question that I wanted to ask you to, well, do a bit of your thing because it makes me laugh. And, also, I'd ask you the question, making me laugh and sharing your wisdom. My question is, since you have such a a big legacy in American comedy and, like, you have such a demanding job, you were doing a show every day. Yep. And plus it's late night.

So how'd you like, when you had kids with and you're also a family man Mhmm. And you're known for being a discreet celebrity that hasn't, you know, had any horrible stuff with the press. Like, you haven't had any talk of gerbils.

Yeah.

That's right.

Right. We suppressed all talk of gerbils.

All talk of gerbils.

Yeah. It was a monitor lizard, and I paid that fucker off. Oh. He gets $50,000 a year to keep his goddamn mouth shut.

Oh, it was Leo. Dealy.

Oh my god. The scales are the best part. Oh.

0, you know when those things get scared, their tails pop up.

You bet they do.

Oh, no.

Oh my god. What an orgasm. Oh.

You or the lizard?

I think the I'll say it was for me, but the lizard didn't look unhappy. Let's just say we both smoked a cigarette afterwards. Anyway, Alejandra, we somehow went astray. We I can't. I don't know how you took me down this road.

But, so your question, you you said a lot of nice things for me, but you didn't quite what is the question? Yeah.

The question is when you have kids Mhmm. And your family grew, how do you manage coming to terms with the fact that you were gonna miss out on stuff at home with your wife and the kids or at some fancy party at work? Because to balance it all, you need to miss out on stuff here and there. So how was that for you?

Well, I have an agent and a manager, and, they did a lot of checking in on my children. It's Gavin Palone, Rick Rosen, and they would check-in on the kids, and they would occasionally text me and say, the boy seems good. The girl seems sad. The boy. And then they then we would get into the financials about, you know, how the business was doing and ratings and things like that.

Oh, my god. To say, all joking aside, I hit the jackpot with, with my wife, Liza, because she, is an impeccable, mom, and she just did an incredible job. And so I did miss out on things because I was working a lot. I tried to be there for important stuff, but, yeah, there were it really helps to have a partner who is fantastic. And it sounds like your husband

does covered there.

Yeah. And it sounds like your husband does a great job. And so my my rule is find an amazing partner and then totally screw them over, leave them with the kids, and, eat as late as possible in Madrid. That's my rule.

Then I'm good. Yeah. Now who do

you now, do you have close family that you dine with as well?

I do. My obsession with food came from my dad. My dad is to say obsessed would be selling at shore. He talks about nothing other than food. The minute he learned my husband was from Poland, the first thing he mentioned was some soup they make in some region.

He knows so much about food and wine and all the restaurants that are gonna open and that then become trendy after.

Wow.

Conversations in my house were nothing other than, like, this sauce, books about food everywhere, or all the food critics' books. So, yeah, I have a lot of, close my brother's a chef at a fancy restaurant, so I have a lot of people that I dine with at

these places. Alejandra, theoretically, if I were to be in Madrid and if you and I were to go out to a very late dinner at a nice restaurant, would your father come to as well? And how would that go?

I don't think I would invite him. Why? Because he would then start talking to you about food, monopolize the conversation.

Oh, wait. Are you saying that someone could monopolize a conversation with me? You really think so? This is

He's a worthy adversary.

Yeah. So that's why I would insist that he come along. You tell you tell papa blabbermouth that the big guns are coming to town. Okay? I think I'm a world champion dabber, and I would insist that he come to dinner.

My mom would swear that it is impossible to outdo my dad.

I bet I can outtalk your dad. I bet I can talk. And here's the great thing. Your dad knows a lot. He has great knowledge.

I know nothing about food. I know nothing about the food in Madrid, and yet I will talk 3 times as much as your father about this stuff I know nothing about.

But your stuff is funnier, though. So

Yeah. I don't I'm not worried about that part. I think Oh. I don't know who this guy is, but I think I got him covered on comedy. But I will talk much more than your father.

I will dominate the conversation, and I will make it all about me. That's my promise to you. Doesn't that sound fun?

Behaving you should go, and I am not invited.

No. No. I need you there. I need you there as the buffer. Okay?

I need you there as the buffer.

Alright. So okay. Maybe we invite him. Okay.

Yeah. I think it's you, me, your father. I think it's a very late dinner, traditional dinner at a nice restaurant, in in Madrid. And, I will dominate the conversation. And I will also, ask my wife for some wisdom about raising children because I I you know, she's the

1 that knows. 1.

I'm not even I can't remember their names right now. Stewart. Stewart. What is do no. That's No.

No. That's,

family guy.

Stewie. Stewie. Yeah. That's a family that's from a cartoon. I'll find out their names.

I'm gonna be able to give you great advice on raising children. Okay?

Okay.

I'm, I'm delighted to meet you, Alejandra, and I do hope we get to have a meal someday. I want your father there because he's not gonna get 1 word out of his bulk of his mouth.

Nice.

Edward of that's mouth. Anyway, Alejandra, very nice to see you. And

Very nice to meet you. Thank you, guys.

You're a very impressive person. Congratulations on all of your achievements, and, I hope we cross paths. That would be fun.

I hope so. Thank you, guys. Bye to 3 of you. Bye bye. Thank you for all these entertainment

Bye, Alexa. Bye bye.

Bye.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sona Mavsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

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