Transcript of Kristen Bell & Justine Lupe

Wndri Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join WNDRI Plus in the WNDRI app or on Apple podcast, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcast. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard, and I'm joined by Monica Padman. Today, we have a very, very fun pairing from Nobody Wants Us, Kristen Bell and Justine Loop. Justine Loop is an actor. Kristen Bell is an actor. Justine was in succession. Mr. Mercedes, luckiest Girl Alive, and they are both on Nobody Wants This. Coming out October 23rd on Netflix. Guys, I've watched season 2, and it's spectacular. If you loved it the first time, you're going to be so delighted this time. Please enjoy Kristen Bell and Justine Loop. Stick around to watch an exclusive clip from Nobody Wants This on the Fact Check.

I'm Jon Robbins, and on my podcast, I sit down with incredible people to ask the very simple question, How do you cope? From confronting grief and mental health struggles to finding strength in failure. Every episode is a raw and honest exploration of what it means to be human. It's not always easy, but it's always real. Whether you're looking for inspiration, comfort, or just a reminder that you're not alone in life's messier moments, join me on How Do You Cope. Follow now wherever you get your podcasts or listen to episodes early and ad free on WNDRI Plus. How Do You Cope is brought to you by Audible, who make it easy embark on a wellness journey that fits your life with thousands of audiobooks, guided meditations, and motivational series. Hello, I'm John Robbins, comedian and host of WNDRI's How Do You Cope podcast. I'm also, Plot Twist, an alcoholic. I've written a book, Thirst: Twelve Drinks That Change My Life, published by Penguin. Thirst is a book about alcohol. It's mystery, it's terror, it's havoc, it's strange meditations. But, John, I hear you cry. Isn't that It's a rather odd book to write for a sober man who, more than anything, wants to stop thinking about alcohol?

Well, yes, but I had to go back to find out why the one thing I know will kill me still calls out across the night. It's the story of what alcohol did for me and what alcohol did to me. If that's of interest to you or someone you know, Thirst, 12 Drinks That Change My Life is available to pre order now online and from all good bookshops.

He's an up Hi. How are you doing?

I was hoping you'd be wearing something like these pants.

Anna, you don't have to leave.

We were just kidding.

Something fun?

Because you wore some similar pants to Seth, and I was like, This is cool. I did. It's really good, and nobody's doing it. Oh my God. It's a similar Dax situation.

There's a reason nobody's doing it?

No, I don't. I actually think it's really good. It's very up my alley.

I like it.

I did hear a story through the Grapevine. Okay. That on Sunday, at Emmys. You were debating whether to wear your Vans with your nice suit, which is a move you do a lot. And you decided to wear the nice real shoes. Yes. And I thought that was really be nice and a big step.

But sure.

You put your identity aside for the sake of the outfit.

But let me ask you something, Gail, should one set their identity aside for their clothes?

For their wife's moment? Yeah.

It depends. There was a lot at play because he tried on each shoe.

I saw both sides.

I really did because I like the fact that you make it your own. And you had phases. You were only cowboy shirts, remember?

I had a lot of cowboy You were the ones with the pearl buttons.

Then once the cowboy shirts got a little ratty, you started cutting them off. Then you were sleeve this cowboy shirt.

Oh, wow.

Sleeveless Cowboy Shirts, yeah. Okay, we lost Justin.

It's a button down and it has two pockets like this, but it has the flap over. It's a yellowstone, right? Okay.

I mean, we can say Yellowstone, or we can say Jack White. It's going to make a big difference to the listener.

It was cool. But what I loved about it is that it was very you and that you don't really sacrifice. And then he does Vansalade or tennis shoes when he goes on talk show. And I do appreciate that. When he was wearing this suit, I will admit they both looked cute. Great. The level of the Emmies being what they were, that it wasn't just a fancy party we were going to.

It wasn't a backyard picnic.

And particularly the fact that Mr. Armani just passed away. Yes.

Rest in peace. Oh, you were wearing Armani? Armani.

Only because my bride was wearing Armani. Totally. Then I got sucked in the casting that, thank God. Yeah.

Sucked in, he got brought in.

And a beautiful tailored tux.

Yes.

Out of respect for the person that designed the suit, I thought it was cool.

I just feel like that was a big thing. This is a person who it could get testy if you were like, Could you please wear the nice shoes?

I had both options. I walked into her room and all the ladies were there. And I said, What's the vote? I was very open to whichever way it went. And it was leaning towards Vans for a while. I have a good conscience. I wasn't trying to sway the jury at all. You were not.

It was a close call.

It was. But I just appreciate It's the flexibility. I want to give credit where credit's due.

You know what you'll appreciate more than anything? When the call was made among the girls, he goes, okay.

The fun part is Nicole, the stylist who knows the most in the room about what should be worn or not. There's just all this debate and chatter and she's just sitting there dead quiet. I'm like, You're biting your tongue so well. You must have a really strong opinion. She's like, No, come into the light. She looked at it and she's like, The black ones make you look longer. I want you to be longer. That's not even a selling point for me. I've already been too long. Were you Too long as a kid?

What age were you this height?

I think in high school. How tall are you? I'm 5'9.

Yeah, that's a hefty height.

It has been in moments too long. When I dated a guy who was 5'4, 5'5. Short king. He was pulling it off. He was a short king, but I did feel that I didn't want to walk together.

I understand.

I felt so big.

Did you lean over when you hugged or did he go tiptoes? I'm not saying that to insult the short king because I have to obviously lean over quite a great deal to hug Kristen. And I just wonder, were you in that situation? Do you have scoliosis?

I'm sure I did. I don't remember. It's like a blackout moment of my dating history. But I do know that he was just so confident. I mean, that's part of why we dated is he just had it going on. But it was less about him and more about me just feeling like a monster so tall.

If someone saw a photo and they just naturally assumed he was 5'9, they go, Well, shit, that girl then is 6'3. She's seven feet tall.

Wait, can I ask you, though, when you Yeah, I'll wear these shoes. Did you feel great afterwards? Didn't it feel good to be like- To cooperate? Yeah.

It should feel great. I recognize that as a virtue. But I do think my annoying identity is that I do what's right or wrong, period.

Totally.

Well, hence why this was a big step forward for mankind.

For everyone. I'm stubborn, too. I had a moment the other day where an ex asked me to coffee. And I was like, great. I would love to catch up with that person. But I was like, I should touch base and see how he feels about it. And he's like, it's recent enough that I feel like maybe is it okay if we don't do that? I wanted to be like, but, and instead I was like, it's not worth putting him in a weird moment of not feeling good. I care so much more about my husband than I care about hanging out with this person for 20 minutes or whatever, an hour or two. And I got to say, it felt good to be like, yeah.

I honor your wishes.

I get it. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice.

I would not I describe you as stubborn. That's so interesting. You think you're stubborn?

I don't think in the interactions, it feels like stubbornness, but I do feel like I'm like, Well, but here's the reason why.

Yeah, because you want to go, You can trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I have no desire to.

Yes, I could have gone through that whole thing. There's none of that there. It isn't stubborn necessarily, but it is stating a case past the presentation of the options. I was like, We don't even need to do that. And it felt good.

Yeah. Do you have a justice hangup?

I do. My name means justice.

Yes. Justine means justice.

Yeah, and it's so in me. If someone is mean to someone, if one of my friends get fouled, I irrationally want to step in there and be like, No, no, no, no, no, wheeze, a little bit. Yeah,.

Are you ADHD? Because I just learned from Tim Simons that a huge comorbidity of ADHD is inflated sense of justice.

Oh, interesting. It's funny you say that because just recently, our couples therapist was like, I think you might have ADHD. I've never thought it myself, but I'd say the thing that Tyson gets frustrated with the most is that I leave things everywhere. He'll be in the bathroom and there's a spatula on the bathroom counter, or he'll lift up a piece of paper and there's a used Q-tip under the piece of paper. He is a Virgo. You're a Virgo, right?

Yeah, double.

Okay. So he's really neat. Are you like that?

I'm not that neat. That's one thing that's saluted me.

I've been to your house.

Well, I clean up for guests.

She's like, She doesn't think it's neat because she's a Virgo.

No, I'm quite messy, but I am all about presentation. If people are coming over, it's going to look perfect. But my day to day, like right now, it's a mess.

See me, too. I'm messy. What's your sign? I'm a Gemini. Why did you look at him? Does he have a bad history with G eminis?

No, he just goes to astrology. Oh, sorry.

No, I don't hate it. I don't believe in it.

It's good to have people like you around.

I don't believe in God. I don't hate God. You know. I don't hate the Easter Bunny.

It's just not real. Yeah.

Can I drop back to one issue with the Vans thing? I don't even think it would have even been a debate. If not for a previous guest, Bobby Brown, who's a queen, the makeup type.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She said, Oh, yeah, I remembered meeting you at the time 100 because you had Vans on with your tux. And I was like, This guy's great, man. He's got his own style, so I was riding high.

Dax, you're so cute. I'm sorry. I just think it's adorable. It's like when you meet you, you would never think that you are so cute and sweet about holding on to these little things and being like, She said I look good in the van, so I wanted it. It's really endearing.

I was like, Oh, and I guess this is working because she would know.

Do you know what your moon sign? I'm just kidding. I want to know what your emotional little sweetheart shadow side is. It's good to have people like you around. My husband's like, I see you and I lasso you and pull you back down to planet Earth with this stuff. He's really good about being like, Okay, cool. Now moving on We're not going to talk about the moon being in Scorpio and how it's making you sad today.

Will you make life decisions based on- No, I don't do that. Because that's where I think someone would need to step in. No, we should buy this house.

Totally. And I do have friends who do it. They're like, I need to move to blah, blah, blah because I talked to a psychic and they looked at my birth chart and it's time to go.

And it's a vortex.

Totally.

There's no jobs, but it is a vortex.

The vortex thing, I got to say, I do believe in. Well, I got to tell you- Have you been to Sedona?

Yeah, that's the place I was going to I got to say we were there, and I was like, I believe in this vortex.

There's twisted trees.

It felt funny there. It did.

It's wild. I did a program called Sedona Soul adventures, where I went. I was in a crazy relationship. The guy was like, You need to go check out this place to work on your confidence. So I went to this place called Sedona Soul adventures. Basically, what it is, is them just rotating you through healers' houses.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow. You do like, Reiki, you do like, chakra measuring. They're like, You're actually dead inside. I'm like, Yeah, no, you get a hotel. And then there was this guy named Rick, and he was in charge of putting together a folder and being like, You'll go to all these healers' houses and do this soul healing journey. And I got to know Sedona through this thing because it's like five days of going from house to house. You're going into these people's houses and doing healing exercise.

Everyone's home has a smell.

Yeah. Totally. It's a vibe.

That's the part that would be tricky for me. Me too.

Me too. Yeah. No, I think a lot of it might be tricky for you, especially if you don't buy into this stuff.

But did you leave feeling better and more confident?

I did.

And did you feel like it was nurturing for him to say, you should work on your confidence, or did it feel insulting?

No, you know what's funny is he had gone there before with a prior girlfriend, and they all knew him, and they were all like,. And when I got back from the retreat, the end of the story is that I left that relationship.

Oh, he sowed his own seeds.

Yeah, that my light got turned back on, and I was like, And I'm out.

So you did get confidence, it sounds like. I did.

It worked. I felt different.

Because I got to say, as a thing to suggest to a partner, they might work on. Confidence feels like maybe a good one because it would be for you. Totally. That seems like within the zone of what you could get away with suggesting.

Totally. Yeah, it's not like, Stop being so annoying.

Yeah. Or go to this place and stop being messy.

Yes. And I think he had a lot going on. He was a very evolved person in certain ways, and he really He had done a lot of work on himself. So there was that, but I just don't think he was good in relationship. Well, he was so short. At that moment. No, this is not the short king.

No, I don't know who it is, but it could definitely be the short king.

He wasn't the short king back.

You've had a lot of lovers.

I dated a lot. I She did a lot in my 20s. For you. I did. I did a lot. She did. I didn't have a lot of long term relationships. I did like six months, three months, all through my 20s, back to back.

Great. Kristen is a little regretful. She was very active.

Always with someone.

She was very sexually active. And she wishes she was even more sexually active.

I just wish I butterfly around a little bit more.

On a scale of one to 10, how sexually active were you in your 20s, I guess.

How do you say that 10 is having sex and zero is not?

Zero is virgin. Ten is sex worker. Four?

Okay. And I just wish I maybe would have gone... Six?

Yeah. I think I was a six.

Nice. Yeah, really good job, ladies.

That's for you. I'm proud of you.

High five.

You guys get along so well. You have such a cute relationship. Right out of the gates, when you started working together, you started coming around the house. And then quickly, you were pregnant. And so there was a- A secret.

And I said, I'll protect you.

She protected me.

Yeah. And then the baby arrived in your run. So I just want to set a little bit of framework for how well I knew you when this wonderful event happened that you orchestrated. So I had met you several times at the I thought you were absolutely lovely and an effortless person to have around. You're very chill and relaxed, and you're not needy. You're a lovely guest. And I diagnosed you as normal. So far as an actor- I'm really confused where this is going. An actor can be normal, I thought, yeah, she's very normal. So season two commences. And I guess maybe from your perspective, Hun, what was the first thing that happened?

I remember exactly what it was. We were shooting this scene in the second episode where we're getting out of the car with Adam in a parking garage. They're saying, okay, guys, go to one. We're about to roll. Justine and Adam are already in the car chatting. I get in the car and I hear her say, it's really nutritious.

And then a ping goes off in the crested dead.

Anything nutritious is going to spark your interest.

Yes. And as we identified, this entire experience was predicated on my nosiness. So I went, What? And Justine goes, Do you ever do this? The The first urine of the day you drink again. Action. And then I'm like, what did she just say to me? Wait, what?

The first urine.

The first urine of the day, the first pee of the day you drink. She said, do you hear about this people doing this?

You drink the urine? Urine of the day.

Have you ever heard this? People do this.

To re-install your minerals. Depleted minerals. And they called action right after that sentence. And we get out of the car and we do this scene. And then we reset and I go, Wait, wait, what? And she goes, Well, I mean, I just started it, but I think that it's really been helping me. Do you do it? And I was like, No, I don't think that's right.

Actually, at this point, I got to say, you were much more polite. You were like, Really? I can imagine that. Really? And I was like, Yeah, really? And then they were like, Action again.

All right, so that ended. And then how long between the next-Installment?

Yes. The next art installation?

The next installment was that I brought pea to work.

In a Mason jar? Yes.

I put it in a Mason jar, and then I moved it into a canteen because we thought, too obvious. We can't have it in a canteen. We have to put it into a Mason jar. So we put it into a canteen. We're sitting behind the scenes waiting to go. I call base camp, and I get on the phone with our base camp ID.

She says, Now, mind you, we're in a green room. There are numerous people there. And again, Justine knows I listen to everything.

Yes.

It's not like she's engaged you and then says, I have to make this call. No. She just initiates this call.

She's in the corner like this. Hey, Reston, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you go into my trailer? In my fridge, there's the liquids container. Can you send it up? Okay, thank you. I don't know what the HR is about this, but I feel like I should tell you it is urine. If you're okay handling that. It is urine. No. Okay, cool. Okay, thank you. Then she just goes back to doing whatever.

What a pro. You were able to just not even look at her to see if she got you. What confidence. The confidence thing works. You have to.

You have to. I'm on my phone like this.

And I think I get brought in. So she comes home from work and she's like, Yeah, Justine is drinking her pee. She was telling me depleted minerals and it's really good. And then she had transpo bringing up some container of her pee. And now I'm like, okay, that girl that was at the house-Is insane. Also drinks her pee.

In that moment, when she heard this phone call, she did engage at this point, and she's like, What are you talking about? At this point, I had pre-prepared an AI-generated article- Stop it. About he being good for you. I screenshotted it, and she asked me about it, and I'm ready to go.

I said, Justine, where are you getting this info? If you visited some witch and she said, Do this, we need to discuss it. But have you researched this? I feel like we should look into this before you actually do it. It could be bacteria in there. It's waste. Honey, it's waste. And she goes, No, look, you can read it.

Okay, great. And how good was the article?

I can't really remember because all I wanted to do was my own research. Yeah, right. So I, the second Justine left to go get her water bottle called Dr. Mike.

Oh, you did. You called Dr. Mike directly. You reach out to him whenever you have a curious- She loves Dr. Mike.

He's my Internet GP, of course. He's a personal doctor. She's Yes. I said, I have a friend who is drinking her own urine. What are the risks/benefits of this? Have you heard anything about it? And he was like, Well, honestly, I think it sounds insane, but I don't think it would hurt her. Oh, right.

Because people who are stranded drink their pea. You can do it.

He said, There are a lot better ways to remineralize a multivitamin.

I think that That was my next argument to Justine. I said, Have you ever thought about taking a multivitamin in the morning?

And then I think I came back with like, Oh, yeah, I'm taking all the multivitamins that then lead to the most effective pea.

Oh, sure. Concentrated. Yeah, because it's coming up. Actually, there's some logic here I'm following.

It is like a weird Ayurvedic. I did some research, too. It is something that people do. But at this point, I knew Kristen's fucking telling Dax. She's going to tell maybe a few friends. I have to be okay knowing that this is going to be something that is said about me behind my back. The reputational cost. Yes.

But let me be clear, not in a way of talking shit.

No, but just the fact of Justine is drinking her own piss is enough. You were so No. Open about it.

It's a testament to how likable you are because I was never like, She's out.

I was coming home and saying it to you because I was worried about her. I care a lot about this girl, and I was like, Honey, I think I don't- She's losing her mind. She's drinking her pee, and She's talking a lot about it at work.

And I drink it in front of you once.

This was one of the most epic performances I've ever seen. So about five days later, we're sitting at the table on set where we record the podcast. Again, I'm not engaging with her, but she knows that I'm looking. And she grabs her water bottle and she makes eye contact with me and she goes, Do you want to smell it? And I go, No, stop. And we're getting our touch-ups and she goes like this. Thérèse, do you have a mint?

Oh my God.

So for the listener, Kristen is drinking it. She's a big pole.

So I'm taking a big pole. And then placing the mint in her mouth, but just dipping it in.

It was such a performance. The The whole time I'm getting touch-ups, they're doing powder on me, and I'm like, Oh, my God.

Could you smell it?

A little bit. Yes. Which I was grateful she had the mint.

So my curiosity, if I were in your shoes, would be like, I a little bit understand she's drinking it in the morning, but now she drinks it all day. She's just doing it all the time now. That's her main source of migration is her own urine. Yeah.

If I had thought this through a little bit more, it doesn't quite track. I think that was pretty early in the day. You did it perfectly, obviously.

Obviously. I was very worried. Well, right. Because it's not even just about the urine. She's on a path. We started with urine, and now the sky's the limit. Totally. Fecal transplants are next, and God knows what...

And I do have a little bit of crunch in me. I'm a little... It's believable that I'm leaning into this.

Well, I think we both do, which is why she had to actually set up some guardrails around this.

Oh, yeah. I talked to everyone. I talked to Anna. I was like, Kristen, do not let her drink her own piss.

Great. Because that may be the most shocking thing of this whole prank is that Kristen didn't drink it.

I didn't get her in on it.

100%. Because she is down to try anything that might help.

That was the whole origin of this whole thing is that She's obsessed with biohacking. And so I was like, what would be the thing? And we talked about it. Adam and Tim were in on this with me. I was like, what could we do that wouldn't be so believable that she would try it? It was a fine line.

You had to thread the needle. Yeah, we did. You did it perfectly.

You got your flowers earlier, and now you, Kristin, get yours. I am so happy and impressed. You've come a long way that I didn't try it. You did not try this because I am truly shocked that you You did.

I was born with a very why not attitude. If it doesn't feel too dangerous, but again, I had already gotten confirmation, Dr. Mike had said it's not going to hurt her.

I know that's why this is...

There wasn't danger. It culminates with on set, Justine rolls up, and she's not actually shooting that day, but I didn't consider that at the time. She rolls up with a cooler, and it's about, I don't know, 18 inches by 15 inches. And she She says, I have a present for you. I looked at the cooler and I said, I hope it's a puppy. And she set it down on the table outside, and she opened it up and I see three different sized mason jars with radiating color. Some are brown, some are yellow. I'm like, Oh, some are- Some are brown. I open it up and I look up at Justine's face and she's going...

Like a pleading for the listener, like a really excited look.

I was very calculated at this because I was like, Do not hurt this girl's feelings. You love her so much. How do you get her away from this idea without pooh-poohing it? I looked up, I said, Is this your urine? And she said, Yes, I saved three of the best batches for you. Stop it. They're super, super high-quality mineralized. And she starts touching me. She's like, This one isn't she? They're leaking. They're leaking. The thing smells disgusting. She's showing me the Mason jar. The commitment. Oh, it's unreal. I took a beat, and we have this on video because people were recording it. They knew it was happening now. I said, Justine, no. I don't want this. I don't want this.

You said that?

It was really hard for me. I know. I'm impressed.

It's very sweet, but it's like- Cannot drink your pea. Perfect. It's perfect. It felt kind and just honest.

Oh, Kristen, good job.

I do not want your pea. Then she goes, I would much rather have a puppy.

Then she said, April Fool, and it was April 1.

No. This whole thing was leading up to April Fool's Day.

It was four or five weeks worth of- Four or five. Material, yeah.

It was a long run.

This is the most incredible prank ever.

I'm so impressed.

This is really something. It was really satisfying.

I have never felt more loved in my entire life than when it occurred to me how long she had been working on this and how many and how much performance and how many people had been wrangled into this. And I just felt very loved.

Well, the best is that you were staging conversations away from her that you just knew she would stumble into.

Totally. She's like a little mouse bat. It was like ears that hear everything. So I was like, if I'm just a little bit out of reach, that's the best place to be. That was brilliant. It was not my own pea. I steeped chamomile tea at different gradients.

Which smells gross, by the way.

Chamomile tea smells gross. It does smell gross. And the grand finale of this, actually, is that I accidentally left it in our car for months and months and months. Just recently, it fell out of my car and smashed all over the ground. My husband had to pick it up because I was carrying the baby.

He was like, What is that smell? What the fuck?

Oh, my God. Yeah, that blows a Q-tip under a piece of paper on the water.

I know. I'm terrible. I'm a trash bag. If he's already frustrated. I know.

No, but you win some, you lose them. You get this committed wife. You're going to have to clean up some stuff.

He did love the game. He loved the prank. He was there for it all.

I felt so warm inside. Well, the pea itself is warm enough.

How did you get this idea?

I think it was just the relentless bio. I mean, this woman loves talking about sauna, cold punch, peptides, plugging up your body with green proteins and Metamucle and apple cider vinegar before you eat pasta. She's just the tracker, the buffness. I have glucose issues.

I have to track it, Justine.

She's just on it. I know she loves pranks because she's played me a few of Jimmy Kimmel's pranks. I knew that there was a glee around pranks. Wasn't there something about his house in Christmas? Yeah, yeah.

When he pranked Mickey and he was behind the emails. Remember, Mickey had bought a house, his cousin Mickey, and the people they bought it from were like, asked if they could come back for Christmas.

Asked if they could come back for Christmas.

And if Mickey says yes to everything. And she said, Sure, okay. But Jimmy had hacked the email, and he was responding with the fact that we'll need some ingredients for our Christmas dinner. We're going to make this soup.

It kept on Building and building. She was just so sweet, but you could just feel so overwhelmed.

We'll be there at midnight. It was a great one.

We'll be there at midnight. The slow burn prank, it's the first time I've ever done it. I can't tell you how satisfying. It's intoxicating. I'm slowly building a life.

That is so fun.

Yeah, so subtle. Talk about throwing it away. It's like a little thing here and then get that from my trailer there.

The best was when we engage in a conversation and then they'd be like, action. I'm like, ha ha. I just left her with just a little- She's a mess inside during this scene. I perced her up and then took it away. It was fun. It was really fun.

I love you.

Is Kristen your favorite costar of all time? She loves you so much. She talks about you endlessly.

She's dreamy, dreamy, dreamy, dreamy. It's awesome. I have talked about it too much, but having her be the first person that I said that I was pregnant to in her living room with a sheet mask on her face and the way that she just bounced up and ran around the room and then gave me, honestly, an Emmy-winning speech about the magic of being a mom and how important it's been to her. It was so, so sweet. And honestly, on top of that, she's just the biggest role model to watch on set because she's kind to everyone. She's professional. She's playful. You're an incredible mom. I love your guys's relationship. I've been really lucky because Snuk was like this, too, on succession. Just the right person to be there at the right time. I do see it as, sorry, Dax, divine intervention a little bit that I got these women at these times in my life. Snuk was prego through the last season of the show. I watched her do the whole thing incredibly pregnant. And that show was shooting for nine months. Her whole pregnancy was literally that whole season. And Having that, to know that that work is possible while pregnant and just to get inspired by that.

And then- That you're going to have your whole life and this thing. Totally. She just killed it. She slayed. So all the preconceived things about what it's like to be pregnant, what it's like to be a mom in this industry. And then coming in and seeing Kristin doing what she's doing during this moment, I just feel like they're little gifts.

Where are you from?

I'm from Colorado.

Oh. You're born in New York, but you grew up in Colorado? Yeah. Why How were you born in New York?

So my dad was a visual artist in New York, and my mom worked at a halfway house for boys.

Oh, wow. Yeah. That's intense, no?

My mom's whole career has been the most intense. She worked at a halfway house for boys. She then worked with children who had been abused as a therapist. She then now is working mostly with women with borderline personality disorder. Okay. She's a champ in terms of committing herself to So this work.

She's in the deep end. She likes to get where it's hardest.

Yeah. She can hold space for a lot of dark. Yeah. She's dark.

She's dark. Okay, good for her. Yeah, totally.

Dark meets dark. Yeah. I think that there is something to being someone who's lived in that level of dark that can hold space for it. It makes me want to cry. The times where I've been in the most distress, like when I was 21, I did Extasy. I had the worst trip of my life. I thought I was going to die. My friend thought she was going to die. We were like, it was laced with something.

I was going to say, I bet it had bath salt in it.

Yeah, there was some weird shit in it. And my mom, I called her at four o'clock in the morning, and I was like, Shit, help. Hitting the fan.

I smoked my brain.

She came to the house. She opens the door, I'm naked. All of us are naked. There's three of us. We're all naked. Oh my God. Before the shit hit the fan, it had been very fun. Sure, sure, sure. There's like candles and bean bags. There's probably wax on my body in some way. And she comes to the door. She has a carrier of coffee. She has a bunch of children's books. She sat there. It makes me cry. She sat there for hours and just talked us through it. She was A plus mom.

And read children's books.

She sat there. She just calmed us down, read to us, took us on a drive, played calm music for hours and hours, two days, nursed us back to hell. It was terrible. It was the first I was like, Oh, I understand what depression is. I was so low, and she just sat there through the whole thing and tended to us. And meanwhile, my dad was on another planet. We were truly traumatized. Laying in bed, he comes in with a clown's mask at one point. He's like, Hey, guys. Let's go. Not reading the room at all. But my mom was like, That's just her in a nutshell. She's not always that way. But when crisis is there, when shit hits the fan, she rises into a part of herself that's a hero. Throw on his sleep.

Did she have a wild childhood herself? Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, If You Dare.

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She was one of six girls, so I think when that's on the table- That's a lot of girls. Yeah, she's had a wild life, but she's amazing.

So what year did you move to Colorado?

So when I was a baby, basically, my dad was in the art scene, and he was basically like, If I have a kid, I'm so in this art world right now. There's no way that I can do both. If we're going to do this, we've got to get out of here. They moved to Colorado, and he became a closet case artist. Only did art for my mom. Basically, shut down his career to be a dad. And he worked at the Denver Art Museum, so he didn't shut down his career, but he stopped making art and being an artist and doing freelance work and got a steady job. He actually never showed any his art until when I was pregnant, he had his first art show. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's adorable. That's special. Then you went to an arts high school, performing arts high school. Why does grandma have a theater there named after her?

My grandma was a super activist. She was on every board for women's rights. She enforced this bussing system that brought kids from different areas into other areas. She held Colorado accountable for doing that. She started this arts program It started as a very small thing and then evolved into the Denver School of the Arts. So I went to the school that she- That your grandmother.

Yeah. No wonder your name means justice. This is all adding up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does one set their sights on Juilliard? And then what's the process to get into Juilliard? Because I can't imagine ever thinking that's even an option for me. I mean, it wouldn't be. I don't know if I'm talented enough, but still, that seems like the single most exclusive place to get into.

Totally. Totally. I mean, it felt like a shot in the dark when it was happening. There wasn't an expectation of getting in at all. But the first time I saw it, I was watching a CBS documentary with them at home, and I was like, whoa, that school looks cool. I think I was 13 or something. Yeah. And then a kid from my school, Gabe Ebert, two years older than me, he got in. Okay. And that was like, okay, maybe.

And you acted with Gabe? Yeah. You're like, I'm better than Gabe.

No, Gabe was the shining golden boy of our school. And I was not, actually.

Why not?

I don't know. I didn't get a lot of parts. And I later found out, and this is so embarrassing. It was embarrassing when I found out in my 30s, my parents had to go into the school and have a talk with my drama teacher and be like, You need to cast her in more things. Oh, really? Which is a crazy fucking thing to do and so it's humiliating. But they did it. Did it work? Yeah. I got into a few shows after that. That's so crazy. I remember my drama teacher saying something about parents coming in and complaining complaining about their kids not being in stuff and thinking that was crazy. Yeah. Can you make whoever- Can you make whoever? Can you do that? Then later I found out it was my parents.

I bet it's Beca's parents.

Yeah, totally.

They're so involved.

I was shocked because they were very supportive parents But they are not Karen parents or whatever. They're not like annoying. They're not like annoying.

No siblings?

I have a brother.

You have a brother, older or younger?

Younger.

Did he go to this school as well?

He went there for middle school, and then he was like, Screw this. I want to play sports. And he left, and he to East High, which is the quintessential classic high school. 2000 kids.

But still ended up super artistic.

Yeah. Then he ended up going to school for film at Chapman. Because he's a photographer and a director and very, very cool stuff. Yeah.

Okay, so what's the process of getting into Juilliard?

So it's nuts. Basically, you have to go to a unified audition. You go to one of three places and you do an audition, which is two monologs. And then there's a second set of monologs that they call you back for later in the day. So you have four monologs prepared. You do that. Then you have to sing to them.

Oh, boy. Can you sing?

No. And it was a nightmare. I sing Fever, which is an inappropriate song for a 17-year-old. Oh, wow. And I was like, really? I'm going to seduce them. And I remember I remember I walked up to their desk and they were like, Can you please back up in the middle of the song?

You got too sexual with it?

Yeah, I got a little too sexual. They were like, End scene. We're done. After that, you have to do an interview. So that's one day of three different stages.

Is that in New York or is that at satellite?

I went to Chicago. Okay. Then they have another round, the final 40. They bring 40 kids back to do two days of auditions in the school. You have to do your monolog with the faculty. And then you have to do mock classes and all the faculty sits on the side of the classrooms and take notes and watch how you perform. The crazy story about that was the weekend of this callback, there was a massive blizzard. And I was set to go on this plane by myself. We get to the airport. My dad is like, there's a huge blizzard. I'm going to come with you. I was like, dad, leave me alone. I'm 17. I can do this. My plane gets canceled. I call him back. I'm like, actually, what do I do?

Bring your mask.

My dad is like, okay, we're going to figure this out. He comes to the airport. He gets into the airport, buys a ticket. We end up getting on a flight from Denver to Chicago that then is going to take a flight from Chicago to DC, and then from DC, take a train to-Oh, my goodness. New York. It's massive. It's a massive storm. I'm freaking out. I call the school. They're like, Listen, if you can get here for 10 minutes or two days, whatever, the important thing is you just get here. So we get to the Chicago branch of this whole thing, and they're like, Everything's canceled. There's no flight to DC anymore. And all my stuff is checked in a bag, so that's all on its way or whatever. He's like, Okay, we're going I'm going to rent a car, and we're going to drive from Chicago to New York through a blizzard through the night, 16 hours or whatever it is. And he did it.

Oh my, what a champ.

Got a car, and he drove me through this blizzard, and we're watching semis literally on the side of the road, like, toppled over. It's crazy torrential. I can't describe. I couldn't take over at any point because it was so hard to drive. He stopped for five minutes at a McDonald's to do a micro nap, literally five minutes. And he drove me all the way there, and I made it.

What was your mental state on this whole journey? You had to already be nervous to go, and now you're like, I'm doomed. Were you letting any of that come in?

Yeah, totally. I was totally heartbroken. Once he got there, honestly, I was like, If my dad's here, maybe we can do it. Yeah, yeah. And then the nerves burned off. And by the time I got there, I think we were both so tired. I was wearing some other student of the school's clothes because I didn't have any clothes. And I was just so worn down that I actually think it really helped because I just didn't have any nerve to give. It was gone. And he slept on a friend's couch and stayed there with me until the moment that he was like, Can I go? Am I good? And he left. And then he let me do the plane ride back, the adult that I wanted to be. Like a big girl.

Oh, wow.

So how many people get in? Sixteen. Sixteen is the number of students.

When did you start feeling like, I think I might get in?

When the 40 thing happened, I was like, Okay, there's a shot. That That's 50%-ish. Yeah. Maybe I could do it. But then you're looking around and everybody's so good that you're like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I also was 17 at that time, so I don't quite remember all the steps. But I remember being so shocked when I got the phone call that I got in.

Is it insanely rigorous?

Yeah.

You know, Kristen was down the street learning to act, and she was in her sweat pants breathing in dude's mouth and stuff. 100 %.

It's called Alexander Technique. He makes fun of it all the time.

Breathing in men's mouths and stuff. It was crazy. It's just such a singular thing to put that much time into that. Only that for four years from 7: 00 AM to 10: 00 PM every day because you're doing school and then you're doing rehearsal for whatever the play is. I'm like, I'll never do anything like that again. The teachers are tough.

They try to strip you down a little bit, right? Isn't that the goal?

Yeah, I think that the goal is to basically take away as many habits as as they can so that you are free to decide what you want to do.

Blank slate.

Yeah. I think that that can be great. It also can take away the thing that got people into the school.

Yes.

Where it's like, actually, that person was incredibly shiny, and they had an essence that was their fingerprint and then get beat them down into not trusting the thing that got them there.

That's my little bit of a pushback on this approach. You take someone who's had 18 years of practicing how to be an appealing human being. They learn a bag of tricks that work for them. And I see actors then try to get rid of all of that and take on some entirely different personas. It can be accomplished, but I don't know that it's the net win of it all. If you have some shiny sparkly things that you do- You want to hold on to the sparkle.

Ultimately, someone would say the goal is to learn how to do both, right? You could be in a rom-com, but if you're playing Truman Capote, you don't need any parts of yourself to do that.

Yeah, or that you should to be able to release the things that are habitual in order to put something else in there. I had a little bit of fuck you and me. Just enough. I was totally a people pleaser, and I totally wanted them to like me, and I wanted to do a good job. But I also had just enough- I don't know about this.

Yeah. I don't want to come out of here as an acting Android. Yeah.

I don't want to be a bot. I don't really- That's a little bit. That was rude. That was rude. Sorry, we shouldn't talk about the robot that way. That's right. Crazy. She is a little bit of an acting robot. She can do anything. There's not a moment where you're like, don't buy it. Exactly. True that. And also then she's like, okay, we've got it. We're moving on. You're like, girl. We had a talk at one point during this season where she was like, she loves the speed because she can fucking nail it. Yeah. And I'm like, but, but, but, the baby. You're like, I'm not ready.

Maybe just a few.

I mean, I'm not that machine yet. Yeah. And I don't think that I'm sucking, but I don't feel like I'm in the place where I'm like, Okay, we can get in.

But I think you're not giving yourself enough credit because you're a very believable actor as well. And I think sometimes what stands in the way of people is like, Wait, can we have one more? I didn't feel it. I want to remind you, it doesn't matter if you feel it. Is the audience going to feel it? And that information we get from the people behind the monitor. So if they're like this, then it's like, Let's go to lunch.

No, no, no. I think the feeling it thing, probably maybe 60% of the time or less. I remember there was a point where I was with Brenda Gleason. Do you guys know who Brenda Gleason is? He was in In Bruges with Colin Farrell. He's like, O. G. Incredible. Paddington, too. You might be familiar. He and I were doing a show together, and I was like, Fuck, I did not feel that at all. And he was like, Well, that is why you're an actor and you have skill. You can rely on having skill. Most of the time, you're not going to be transcending. That's why I think speaking about it in terms of, were you paying attention in the scene, is more valuable than, did you feel it?

Were you paying attention? Were you taking the other person in? Were you present? Yeah.

But some of that time, the answer is no. Sure, sure, sure. Some of the time, I'm like, Girl, I was not there. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

You also just had a baby.

Totally. And more than having a baby, I was weaning. I don't know. We actually haven't talked about it too much, but no one told me that when you wean, it's psychotic drops of all the hormones that were in you to keep your boobs, flush and milk out. They're gone. And so I was waking up with anxiety in a way that I I never had before. I didn't have crazy postpartum, but I had wild weaning. Weaning. And I was like, what is going on? Am I just nervous about acting again? It was the first time that I was back from having the baby. I was like, is this about the work? Is this about the show? I had a couple of friends be like, oh, it's probably that. And I started researching and I was like, well, that's a major thing. It was nuts.

So from a scene partner perspective, I have never seen you be off your game. As evidenced by, Justine has this incredible running bit in season 2, where any time that I brush up against her, she goes, ouch. Like, where everything... There's one moment where I grab a wine bottle out of your hand and you scream. There's another moment where we're fighting over a remote and you're like, You broke my finger.

I know. There was a point where I was like, I think I've worn this one.

I loved it, but it was any time I brushed up against her, you were, Whether you want to admit it or not or whether you felt it or not, you were ready to give that piece of the Sisters where if Joanne touches Morgan, Morgan will overreact. And I loved it.

I mean, I don't want to keep on praising Kristen, but I do think that you can feel her listening, and she does draw you into being there. She's so fun to play with. As a friend, as a partner, she's a playful person. We had a lot of fun.

Kristen, before you started shooting this season, you said the The first season was a love story between you and Adam, and the second season is a love story between you and Justine.

I firmly believe that, which is so exciting.

I'm so excited to watch it.

I don't even think that when our writers, or specifically, Erin, who dictates a lot of where the story goes because it's her story. Did you feel like as it unfolded, this is so clear to me that this is a love story between these two girls, and it's about the sisterhood because Justine has some major stuff happening this season.

I don't know. I don't know if I felt that. I did feel that I had more to do, but I do feel like last season, I felt that already. I felt my whole point of view was, I'm losing the love of my life. When you're so close, you're so codependent, you are so involved in each in their lives. When someone that you love, not in a romantic way, I've had it with my friends, I've had it with my brother, goes off and finds their love. It is a loss. It's heartbreaking.

They start building a combined life with somebody. Yeah.

So for me, that was what I was going off of last season is I was like, Oh, the love of my life is actually leaving me. And all the pettiness and all the bitchiness and bad behavior that Morgan's going through. It's a reaction to being like, No, no, no, no, no, Don't leave me. This season, I think, snowballed that a little bit more. I think that there was more of a back and forth around it, too. Yeah.

I think it was way more the focus. It's not that the Joanne and Noah of it all is not there because it definitely is.

And strong.

But the events surrounding this season, if you dislodge one of the sisters, it just doesn't work. It's so rooted in whether or not you and I are in balance. The whole ending scenario, you're so devastating in this show.

I can't wait to watch it. Do Juilliard turn out comedians? Or are they more you're going there to be in Shakespeare?

Yeah, I think there is an emphasis on classical theater, which when I say I had a little bit of the fuck you and me, There was something about talking in that way with that project. I was like, I don't feel like I'm a human talking.

I've never spoken this way in my life.

Yeah. I mean, my acting teachers and I really got along, and my voice and speech teachers hated. I think they really actively disliked me.

I guess when you got out, were you aiming to be in only dramas or were you aiming to be in comedy?

I was aiming to just work. I was like, Please just let me work in any capacity.

The first couple of things, one's written by Noah Baumback and one's written by David Chase. So if I were you, I'd be like, oh, I get it. I'm going to be on this pedigree train.

I don't know. It's funny because also those are the only movies. I've done maybe one movie after that. So I do think it was a weird false start. I was listening to you guys talk to Alex Skarsgaard about him booking his first job and being like, And now I've arrived. Those were crazy. That was crazy to be in those two filmmakers' jobs.

What movie was it?

It was Francis Ha. Oh, yeah. I love that movie. I'm just in one scene, but it was really fun. I liked... He shot a lot. We did one all day long.

And the acting robot doesn't like that.

You don't like that.

Nor does Mr. Robot.

Mr. And Mr. Robot are not on board.

Mr. Robot's okay on the first one. Let's kick up the pace. Pretty good on the second, third, and then it's all downhill from after third.

Really?

Yeah. I have this fraudulence alarm that goes off in my head when I've said something so many times. I'm improvving mostly out of silencing that alarm. I just start feeling very fraudulent, and I said it so much and it's flat and I don't believe it anymore. And I'm like, even if I had one word or I do something, I just like to get in and fucking one, two, three.

I feel like that definitely happens. It's like when we were taking pictures and you're like, and now I've clocked into a new level of not being here. When you're in a photo line and you're like, I was listening to David Fincher talk about, or someone who worked with him, about the over and over and over again thing. Their whole point was it gets past the idea you have of what you're going to do or any of the preparation that you did or your idea of what it is, and it pushes you past that into another level of finding it.

But what if your preparation and your idea of what it is is right for the scene?

Listen, I think that there's real value in that, too. I see both sides of it. I think that there's something interesting about mind-numbingly getting through the amp up and the preconceived notions or the construct that you have, and then getting into something where it's like, whoa, didn't think that that was coming out, and that was interesting.

Yeah, Yeah, that's fun. I've heard his thing, though. We've interviewed a ton of people that have worked with him. It's always technical. His shots are so complicated, and they're so long, and they're throwing focus to 25 different things.

No, which is actually a relief to a lot of the actors. They're like, It's not because I'm bad. It's because he wants this, and he wants this. It's not about me. His shots are science. It's not about me. Tell me if this resonates, and it might not. Because you weren't getting in the plays before you knew your parents got you into the plays, do you feel like you have something to prove in life?

I mean, I don't I don't even know if I would frame it as something to prove, but I do feel like this whole thing is about being a better version of yourself all the time. Becoming a better person, being kinder, working on yourself, and acting as part of that. Becoming a better actor and evolving is an important part of what this whole trajectory is about. So I don't know if I'd frame it as something to prove.

I feel like that sentence has two different meanings. Something to prove where it can be arrogant. And I was just going to say, I find you to be the antithesis of that. Justine does not suck the air out of a room when she walks into it. She's only additive and light. But something to prove if you're going to use that as the definition of does she come aggressively prepared to every single scene and piece of work.

Yeah, because something to prove to me is within. It is what you end up putting out, but it's I have to be the best version of me every time I show up to anything because people didn't I mean, seriously, or because I didn't get all these things. So now I'm here and I'm going to... I mean, I have it, obviously. That's why I have it.

Yeah. I think it's also just like being like, I don't know. I mean, in terms of the acting of it all, it's also just knowing how rare it is to have an opportunity to work. And all my friends, none of them are famous. None of them are working nonstop. And a lot of them aren't in the business either. But there's something about knowing, A, that this is a rare opportunity and wanting to capitalize on it as much as possible for myself and for the sake of job that I'm doing, but also just knowing that hardly anyone gets to do it. So I just want to do... I don't want to let it slip by, and I don't want to take it for granted. And yeah, I always want to do my best. I'm also pretty relaxed. Theater, I had a way harder time feeling okay about myself. There was something about facing the audience every night that was just so brutal and terrible, and I hated it so much. I felt so much more responsible. And there's something about going to sets and being with Kristen and being with the crew and being with the crafty people and transpo and feeling the unit of it all.

That it takes the preciousness off of it just being about me and how well I do. So it's a weird balance. I do feel like I always am trying my best. And at the same time, I don't think I've got some crazy-Tip on your shoulder. Yeah. I'm not too hardcore about it.

No, you're the opposite of hardcore.

I try and have fun.

I asked Jackie this, and I asked Tim this. You're in the exact same situation. Tim was on Veep, which was really successful. Jackie was on Glow, which was really successful. You were on Succession, which was hugely successful. How did the reaction of Nobody Wants us compared to the previous? You were on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Mr. Mercedes. You were shooting all three of those at the same time somehow? Yeah. That sounds crazy.

It was totally right for where I was. I was single, no kids, 25, energy to burn. So it worked out. But succession, it was this weird thing where I was friends with everyone. They were my family at that time. I was heavily invested in terms of just being there, but I wasn't there. I wasn't a core member of that show in the same way. I was a fly on the wall a lot, and it was an amazing experience. I loved it so much. Because of that, I also didn't have the same feeling around the reaction that it had.

Right. You didn't feel like you could take a lot of ownership over that?

Yeah. I don't know if I have that now. I would walk with nick Braun. What he was dealing with was like, nuts. Or Sarah Snuk. I'd be like, whenever we'd hang out, I was like, this is wild, especially because we live in New York and LA. And those are the places where people were watching succession. Middle America wasn't watching it as much. It was a crazy thing to watch them experience, but I I don't necessarily feel it in the same way. And this one, when it came out, I was so postpartum in my own little bubble world that I wasn't truly engaged in the way that I imagine some people were, but I felt it in a different way.

It was nuts, right?

Yeah. My The agents were like, We haven't had a reaction to anything like this since Girls, because my old agent represented Adam Driver when he was on Girls. The level of attention that that got, it felt comparable to that.

It was a cultural phenomenon.

Yeah, it's weird.

I was saying We've been together for 18 years. She's been famous the whole time. She had frozen, but really nothing compared to going in New York within weeks of the show coming out and 75-year-old lady is needing a picture, 61-year-old dads needing a picture, kids needing a picture. And I was like, Hon, I'm going to meet you places. You all let's meet at the seats.

You're on your own.

It was very fun, and it was a touch overwhelming. So it was just It was really fucking huge.

Do you guys feel pressure for season 2 because it was so big?

In the beginning, yeah. But as far as what was happening early on in the writers room, at least when I went in there, I was like, this is unfolding beautifully. We had the additions of Jenny Connor and Bruce Eric Kaplan, who have great resumes. And then also, Erin had said in the writers room really early on, she was like, I just want to say to you guys, we're going to give the people what they want. We're not going to do the TV show thing where every other episode They break up. I mean, there's going to be strife and problems, but that's not why people watch the show. And I thought that was really a lovely take. People are watching this show to feel the romance. Let it happen.

So I've watched I watched two of the first season. I'm sorry, two of the second season. I watched the whole first season. I was like, wow, that's amazing. And I watched two of the second season. I'm most interested in Morgan and Sasha. That, to me, is the relationship. And I love Jackie So I don't want anything to happen to Jackie. But at the same time, I'm so intrigued by how opposite you guys are, and yet somehow similar. That's the funnest relationship cooking.

I have fun with Tim. I love Tim. I think he's so... He's awesome. Did you have fun when you guys were doing your thing? Oh, my God. Isn't he awesome?

He's incredible.

I have a lot of fun doing stuff with him. He's great. First season, we were really like, what the fuck is going on with these two? What's happening here? And we wanted answers. And Erin's smart and that she was like, it's vague. It's unexplainable. Yeah. And it was frustrating in those moments where you're like, okay, but are we going to make out next episode? Is that what's happening here? Or is this just two people who are magnetic and they're interested? You know those relationships where you find someone and you're an adult and you have a partner, but you're like, Okay, you got something that's-In another world. Attractive to me. We were just trying to figure out, is this going to be infidelity or is this just going to be an interesting energy that's fun and familiar and people actually do know what that gray is? Yes. All of us have experienced it, and she didn't have an answer. There were moments where we were like, but it works out. Honestly, when I watched it, I was like, this works.

It is smart. I know a lot. I think actors are overly interested in being certain about what they want. What is your motivation in this scene? And I need to know what I'm after. And it's like, well, also, life doesn't really work that way. A lot of times, life is you're like, you have a dream about someone you know, and then in the dream, you're in love, and then you wake up and you're like, That's interesting. Totally.

I think I was just like, is this woman going to fuck a guy who has a child and a wife? Because that is something. Yeah.

That's something to consider about you. Totally.

You are playing. And what's going on? And is she okay? If that's going to happen in two episodes, that does say something about her mental state.

For sure. And from a robot's perspective, I'm always doing the emotional math of what the audience is watching.

See, that's crazy. I can't even think about that.

Acting does not exist for me. It's just emotional math. This emotion leads to this emotion, leads to this emotion. It's not just the emotion, it's the temperature of the emotion. Is it anger and is it really small or is it anger and is it huge? And they have different consequences. But I understood what you were saying where you were like, no, I would like to know if they're going to hook up. Because from my perspective, I would not stop being open to the ambiguity of the situation, but rather start to lay the track. That's what I felt. That will get the audience there. Because what you don't want to do is have four episodes where it's super casual. And episode five, they're having sex in the back of the car. And you're like, what is happening?

I really get both sides. That's the thing. You see how vague it was or whatever. Not knowing the answer served people being like, what is happening?

It's alive and scary, and that makes for a great TV drama.

Maybe we could have done that if we didn't know. You know what I mean? It's almost like that Meryl Streep thing. There's a story where I can't remember what movie it was. Someone throws a glass. Was it Creamer versus Creamer or something? Where someone throws a glass and it shatters behind her. And she was like, Why the fuck didn't you tell me that you were going to do that? And he was like, Well, I wanted to surprise you. And she's like, Well, let me act.

I think it was Dustin Hoffman.

Also, I probably I could have done that had I known what the track was to. So it worked out, but it also could have worked out if we knew the mathing.

The emotional math, the act math. You can argue it six ways to Sunday, but if you're doing a movie and your character goes to a carnival and you haven't read the end of the script and she jumps off the ferris wheel in the last scene. Hopefully, you are going to want to contribute ever so slightly to the emotional math of what gets her there. So, yes, actors always feel like they need to know way more. And yet, I feel like in order to make that equation work, sometimes it's important.

It's their job, and they should. But also there's a reality that they could have never set out to do that. And they can start watching in the editing room like, wow, there's some bizarre spark between Totally.

They did that a lot in succession. One scene where Kieran looked back, very early on, Kieran looked back and checked out Jay's ass, and it was caught on camera. And it was not obviously written, but they were like, Kieran just checked out Jay's ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was hot. Let's do something with that. And then it created that whole storyline between Jerry and Roman.

Kudos to the writers who can pick that stuff out and see it and take it because that's the same thing that happened on Veronica Mars. Logan was never supposed to be Veronica's love interest.

And then they saw the simmering.

They saw the- Oh my God.

They saw the- Camistry. So smart.

I think it's the best way. Getting to know who you're working with, what's going on with them, and then playing around with that.

Stay tuned. For more armchair expert, if you dare. Oh, this could be a good test of how prepared you guys are as actors. Okay. So my one big question mark when I watch the show, and it drives me a little bit bonkers, is how much money do you guys make on this podcast?

I thought you were about to say how much do you personally each make on the show?

What's your per episode? I got for her episode. Let's be honest.

I see.

People either make a bazillion dollars in podcasting or they make almost none. So I'm trying to figure out- There's a little middle ground.

That's true.

What, Joanne... I'll tell you this. Here's what we know. We've never read an ad on our podcast. Ads are how you make money. We have a producer. We don't know who's paying her. So there are some holes. To be honest, Joanne's income, because there's never been a scene where she's put down a credit card or been worried about buying something, has never been a part of the emotional math equation I'm trying to tell. It's actually a detail of like, I also don't really need you to know what size her shoes are. It's not relevant. I know you would say it's relevant because it's the set and how she lives her life. But we're at the vintage store quite a few times, so I think they are on a budget.

Well, I'm going to make a more dangerous argument.

I know a lot of rich girls. Have you ever shopped at Scout?

Because we're looking at some thousand dollar pieces.

I'm going to make It's a more dangerous argument. Shocking. And I do not want to offend her. Put your nice shoes back on. Because she's fucking awesome. And she created a cultural female. Oh, honey. Erin and Sara grew up with a lot of money. It's not a detail that they would imagine needs explaining. I think that's right. But for me, as someone who's broke, I'm a little bit like, I'm so confused. How's everyone living?

Yeah, I get the feeling that they both come from families with money.

See, that's exactly it. I'm watching I'm like, okay, so I think they're not panicked about money. That's not what their concern is. No.

But then your parents aren't loaded on the show. I don't think Noah is either. I think Noah also. He's like a rabbi, but he comes from money.

I see your point. We didn't grow up with money. You didn't grow up with money. I know that. And that usually is a very important part of identity when you don't have it.

How much does this person make?

Right. Or how much can I spend today? Or what do I have to do today to hustle to get what I want? And that's probably not part of her equation.

This is the age old, how are the six friends living in New York at the nice apartment? It's like, okay, get over that. Sure. That's not what this is about.

I can cede to that, but I just was curious, had they decided?

I I thought about it, and I think 80% of the people who live in LA are surviving off of their parents' money. Yeah. I think that it's impossible. I have been on a show consistently for years. Yeah, nine years. I have a 1400 a square foot house, and I cannot afford to get a three bedroom house. That's crazy. And these girls are living in LA. They're surviving off a podcast. Most people, I think, have help. I don't know anyone who's bought a house. None of my peers have bought a house and then didn't have some help.

Right. It's LA.

It's crazy.

It's LA, baby.

Yeah.

Also, the podcast is big enough that they had a meeting with Spotify. So Spotify was interested, at least.

It had to be- And that was one of my ideas in the original pilot. I was saying, I'd love to know how big the show is. I don't know why it's driving me crazy, maybe just because I'm in a podcast. But could we see other people listening to it? Could we see that? Oh, it's a broad group of people.

Wasn't that an idea?

I thought that was going to be part of the first season. That was an original opening. And we did it. Some of it is in.

It was a- You should have had a fan come up.

That was what Dax pitched because remember in the beginning, the opening sequence of the pilot was not working, and We were struggling for ideas. I showed it to Dax, and I was like, What can we do here? And he was like, You have to identify how many people listen to this show. I need to know if they're famous or not famous.

And what people? Is there a 50-year-old dude at work listening to you guys talk like that? That would be fun. Is or who's listening?

Can I ask, do you think the fact that they're at their mom's house on the couch doing the podcast, do you think there are people who make a ton of money and they actually do it in that casual setting? Or do they all have... This is a full studio. Well, that's an unanswerable question because the reason we were shooting at the mom's house, practically behind the scenes, is because we did not secure Joanne's location yet.

But also, yes, we did most of the years of this show upstairs. It looks like shit.

But we didn't do it at your mom's house or my mom's house.

You're a grown up. I mean, I guess- I think we are, too. During COVID, we did a lot from my couch.

Well, true.

I'm just saying, and we had a big show at that time. You You could. I think you could. If you're being frugal, but I don't know if these girls would prioritize being frugal.

Also, I recognize probably no one in America that doesn't have a podcast.

I know. I know. It's so singularly not.

You're You're so confused. Every single person in America has a podcast right now, so you don't have to worry about that.

It was fascinating listening to podcasts people talk about the show after the show came out because I listened to a bunch of podcasts and hearing the inside baseball of- Yeah, what would they Because Aaron and Sara really do have a successful podcast. Yeah, and they do it from their coaches.

Exactly.

I do have a grievance, though. Now is the place to Aaron. It makes sense. I should have been cast as that Spotify executive.

This is true. You know, I pitched on the carpet yesterday. You guys should be a podcast in the show. We should have some- A rivalry. Rivalry.

Oh, my God.

I was like, If you see Dax, please pitch this.

I don't know if they'll ever do it, though, because one of my notes from the very beginning that nobody saw the value in, and that's fine, was to get people on the podcast. You guys had the sex therapist on that I loved so much. I was like, that's a person that Morgan and Joanne would interview.

It's a great excuse for really fun poppy character.

Exactly. I pitched quite a few of them, and it just didn't feel right. I mean, sometimes it takes me a minute to understand what's in Erin's head because she'll be not interested in an idea, and I'll feel pooh-poohed for a second. But later on, I'll realize I understand why she didn't. Yeah, right. She may not have had the words to explain it at the moment, but now I understand. She knows her world really well. She knows her world so well. And it took me a long time to really understand that and go like, I just have to completely trust. And her answer is yes, if it's yes, and it's no, if it's no. And that is the tone of the show, and it works.

I did like this season that you're dealing with the ramifications of talking too much about Noah. You're exposing what his personal bedroom looks like.

That's not the only time you see them dealing with the consequences of feeling isolated and chatty in front of a microphone and not realizing how it will avalanche in their real life.

Do you guys have rules about talking about your relationship on the podcast?

They're unspoken. I think we both trust each other to represent each other. I did come to her for her episode of Mom's Car because one of the questions that gets asked, because we ask these moral dumbfounding questions, and one was like, this person cheats, they never find out, blah, blah, blah. Is this morally wrong? And so Kristin and I are pretty loosey-goosy. It's not a big concern of mine. We're just acknowledging it's not a huge concern of ours.

Yeah. Kristin once said, Dax could have cheated on me 15 times, and I'd be like, whatever, we're monkeys. But if he drove our kids drunk, it would be it.

We brought that up in the thing, which is like, we had asked a bunch of friends, what would be your preference? They either cheated on you or they drove your kids drunk. Oh, my God. A lot of people wanted their thing. A lot of people chose to drive the kids drunk. We just were like, that's wild. So I did come to her and I said, look, I like this conversation. I'd like to keep it in. I also don't want it to read like we're swingers because we're not, and we don't have an open relationship. And then we both were like, yeah, that's fine. And then we were like, okay, now we got to play out someone's mom listens to it. That's a mom of a kid in our kid's school. Is a kid going to come to school and say, your parents don't care about cheating? And she He's going to go, No, they do care about cheating, but it's not.

That's so hard because you really shouldn't have to cater to what some random... It's the same thing as teacher in a classroom catering to the most sensitive person in the room. That sucks, but I get it.

So that one I definitely need her to sign off or feel good about.

But I saw it and I was like, I feel fine about it. I don't regret anything that I said. And ultimately, he chose to keep it out just because he was like- Well, no, I kept it in and I paired it down a lot. Oh, because you were like, I don't want you to be on a red carpet and someone to bring this up as a sound bite where it's warranted as a much deeper conversation and someone to ask it flippantly.

Yeah. Nothing happened from it. It already airred three weeks ago. It wasn't a thing. You've asked her times, right, for fact check? Do you care about this?

No. I asked Delta if we were allowed to keep something in about Groot, and she said no.

Do you ever feel weird when you talk about dating afterwards, when you've gone on a date and you talk about the date and then afterwards, you're like, maybe someone heard that?

I felt a little like, oh, is that unethical? But also I'm never, hopefully, although I probably have done this, talking about the person's faults or whatever. I'm talking about my feelings about it. I feel bad about my feelings about my life. Totally. I feel fine about it. But I'm very careful to edit them when they're talking about each other or the family. There are things that I've cut out a ton that I'm sure you don't even know. I'm just like, I don't think that to be in there. I don't think this feels a little slippery. I'm always aware of protecting that while maintaining honesty. That's the whole point of this show.

I run up against that, too. I had an experience lately where I talked about a past relationship, and then there was a little bit of a thing around it. I was like, But that's my experience. I had that experience. And that person may be the most incredible partner. He probably is. He's probably grown. But my experience was that. Exactly. And it's weird to censor yourself It's based off of maybe something down, especially when I'm not naming names. Everyone's just so addicted to binary thinking that it's hard to say something with any bit of nuance and not have to think about the consequences.

And that's super annoying, but it also exists. And I feel like we have unwritten stuff, but most of it's on the table. There's one or two things I can think of that I wouldn't say.

The kid stuff is getting interesting as they get older.

Yeah, it's getting that.

Yeah, it's getting that. Yeah, that I'm having to confront more and more because Because obviously when they're eight, no one's going to come to school or whatever. So I backed off a bit, I think, on the kids, sadly, because they're all I want to talk about. Yeah, totally. What I tell myself when I'm trying to convince myself it's fine is, well, they heard it. All they'd hear is how much I love them and how much I think about them. But that's not true. That's not my decision to make, per se, even if I feel good about how I'm speaking about them.

It's totally hard, though. I mean, I've only done it for a year, but it really is a lot of what you want to talk about. You're like, it's nothing. It's your life. Yeah.

Yeah. It's what you do every single night. There's no going out.

There's no- And it's a huge part of how you identify yourself. This is part of my identity in a big way now, and I'm so proud of it.

And they're changing you radically all the time. And you want to comment on how you're getting changed by these people. There's always a bit of tension. I think if anyone in America met Chris and I anywhere, we would talk exactly how we talked on that podcast. Yeah, I feel that. That's who we are. And then to have to consider sometimes, and also you people write articles about you There's just a tension there, but whatever. We used to care a lot, and now we don't care much at all. We hit our engagement, wanted to hide the pregnancy. We had a whole season where we were very protective and very secretive, and it consumed us more than it should have, probably.

But very quickly, I feel like we dropped it because we felt the positive reinforcement of when we were honest and authentic. The voices that were listening online were so much more real. I'm so grateful you guys talk about that. I'm so grateful you guys talk about you're in therapy or that you guys argue. And that's way more important to have connective tissue between the people that you're actually trying to entertain.

This podcast was a big step forward in that, which is the first episode of the show was us in a fight for two hours.

Yeah, I loved that so much.

A bickering thing, and that was like, okay.

It was so good. It's so weird thinking about what I knew of Kristen before I met Kristen. It's such a weird thing. What was it? Do you have two Krisstans? Krissten's pretty consistently Krissten. I will say that, but it's just a strange thing to know someone and then actually know someone.

Yeah, Monica was just saying the other day. I remember the first time I met you, I was at this party and the guy from Parenthood came in.

Yeah.

So there is a point in history.

Yeah, totally. Same with her. I was obsessed with her. Yeah. And it's so bizarre. It's weird.

It's weird putting it all.

What time is?

No, but that is in its own category. It's not her. It was the idea of her.

Yeah.

The real thing's better. Yeah. Yeah.

And now I'm obsessed with you. Yeah.

My example is always like Robert Downey Jr. I'm fully friends with him. And then there's also there's Robert Downey Jr. I'm very excited about watching him movies, and he's a whole other thing I've always had in my head.

It's crazy. My cousin is with Steven Tyler and has been with him for 10 plus years now. Oh, really? And that's so bizarre. Because I also don't say it very much. And Steven Tyler is Steven Tyler. So you hear Steven Tyler and then knowing Steven. I still see him as two separate.

A rock star and then this playful. Yeah. He's very playful, right?

He's so funny and wild and weird and yeah, very playful. And yeah, he feels like Peter Pan a little bit. Truly, there was a moment where we were in Hawaii, and he was blowing a conscious shell off the deck. And I was like, this is so Peter Pan. There's a hair all like, dreaded up like a lost boy. You're like, Okay, couldn't be more Peter Pan than this.

Doesn't it cure some stuff, though? For me, being like, Oh, I'm a fan to then knowing has made me very uninterested in celebrity. Totally. In a very good way.

I feel, weirdly, that I've always felt that way. That's good. That's healthy. I don't know what happened, but I missed out on when people ask, who are you obsessed with as a kid? I never had it. I never was there with a sign being like, Woohoo, or a T-shirt. The only time that I felt so fan crazy, this is this wildest moment in my life. I think it's less about him and more about the energy that he had was I did a play with Phil Seymour Hoffman. He was the director of it. Oh, wow. Yeah. And when I met him, it was like a force. I felt impact. I felt like a train had hit me or something. He was such a powerful, full person. So I don't know how much of it was just how much I looked up to him and his celebrity and his talent, I guess, more than celebrity, the talent that he was and all the stuff that I'd seen him in and fallen in love with him in. I can't tell if it was that or just that's who he is. Is. He was just this powerhouse. I think it's probably the latter.

But that was the one time where I was like...

Yeah.

Everyone idolized Phil. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone I know that was friends with him. Just completely idolized him.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was a force. Still, you're like, no, no, that person couldn't be gone because he was such a huge personality.

Someone was just telling me a story that they were in this session with Philip Seymour Hoffman, directing my friend and and young Tom Hardy. Wow. And Phil was very much like, knock it off. You're going for a laugh here and you do this. That's Phil. And even Tom Hardy, who I think of as the most Raging Bull actor among everyone, had a reverence for him and just complied with whatever. Totally. And I think that's very telling.

Yeah. I mean, that was my experience with him was he was relentless. In fact, I remember him talking about Tom Hardy. Oh, really? Yes. He talked about the relying on the thing that worked the night before a lot or your charisma. It was the hardest experience I've ever had, completely. I was utterly in love with him. There was always more. Like, more. There's more to do. There's more to do. Like, talk about an actor with a capital A. That guy was like, truly. It shows. He's just so fucking I thought it was crazy. I was watching Paul Thomas-Handerson's movie last night. I went to go see an early screening of it. The new one? Seeing acting at that level, I was just like, Man, I want more Phil. You see Leo doing some shit that you're just like... It just gets better and better. Sean Penn is absolutely out of control. Benicio Del Toro, who I'm like, couldn't be more- What a fucking cast. He's the hottest thing. I know. He's so hot.

He's so hot.

It's fucking insane. He looks like Brad Pitt, weirdly. Yes. He's got the hooded eyes. He's got the sexy... But he's also so funny. He's so funny and so good.

Well, girls, the second season is phenomenal. The sizzling hot chemistry is still alive.

I can't not wait. It's so hot. You have I haven't even gotten. You've only watched two episodes? Yeah.

Is it about to get so hot?

Is there a great fucking scene? You know what I'm talking about?

No.

The scene on...

Secret.

Secret scenes. It was a reverse back into a '69.

Oh, yeah. Wait, give us one word.

A reverse back into a '69?

I'll give a word. One word. Mount.

Oh, yeah. Okay, that's my last question. You, as I previously mentioned, you're just perfect at everything. You're so fucking good. You are. Just shut your mouth. Why are you being allowed to say the truth? The only thing you're doing is shutting your mouth.

Because I have imposter syndrome and it's- Yeah, don't worry about that.

I know you do, but you are wrong. You know what? She's not great at answering the phone, texting back.

Yeah, she's the worst. Sorry. Okay, fine. Let's throw that in there. You are very bad about that.

She's not even worthwhile having her number on your phone. It's almost not even worth adding to your phone.

But isn't it fun when once in a while, you pop a text from?

You get a FaceTime from Kristen from Kristen out of nowhere when you haven't talked to her in forever. She'll just be like, Hey, I just wanted to call you. I can't see my map anymore. I got to go. Bye.

You're like, That was cute. That happened yesterday.

But here's a genuine question, and I think what was the magic of the first one? I don't think you've gotten to do it a lot. Ron Mars had a lane. She was a tough customer, and she flirt, but it was very Ron Mars' flirting. In Nobody Wants This, Where are the Gates? The first dinner table scene, you were turning on the fucking land me a boyfriend that I got to witness 18 years ago. Oh, yeah. You got to go full flirt.

You fell for it.

It's hot. You really fell for it.

You were so good at it. I was so happy for you. Was it so fun to get to play that flirty? Yeah.

Someone who knew they were very attracted. Yes. Could sprinkle it around wherever she wanted. It's really hot.

Is that who you were when you were dating? Because I've heard you say you're not sexy, you're cute. That was sexy.

I totally disagree.

I don't feel sexy. I don't think I throw around sexy at all, but I do throw around cute and maybe lean into koi. And yes, I gave it a lot. I gave it hard in my 20s.

I feel like there's so much sexy in there. Really? This is the thing that I'll say about getting to know Kristen and Kristen before is I feel like there's a lot of shadow and sexiness is in there. Sex is right there in there. I think you don't lean into it or you don't express it as much. It's right there. And you're really open and you're really vulnerable and you're really communicative about everything that's going on with you. But I think there's so much more depth and dimension and there is more shadow in there than I think you let out. And I think sex is there. I feel sex appeal in her all the time. I don't think there. And I think you know it's there.

I think you just got reinforced.

Hard-hitting questions. I love it.

Cute was reinforced for you? Validated. Yeah. So I think that's just where you decided to lean.

And cute was why I was getting cast.

Exactly.

And cute feels safer. And cute feels way safer.

You grew up in a very Christian household. So it's not...

Sex wasn't a thing to walk around with.

Being slutty was a cool look for anyone. Correct.

Yeah, it's a safer thing to own, too. Yesterday at the Emmys. I was wearing a see-through thing that was- You looked amazing. Thank you. I feel good about it, but I, at one point, was going for a bombshell look. And then after I said it, I had a full-on meltdown about being like, I was going for a bombshell look. I was ashamed of owning sexuality a little bit. That I am a sexual person and that is sexy. I was weirdly ashamed of myself owning that I could be sexy. That there was something about it.

Or that you were pursuing that.

Yes. Or that that was something that I wanted or that I could possibly be that. It's a brave thing to be like, I can be sexy. I have the same thing as you because I've been coined as cute and sweet and fun and funny and goofy. It's really hard for me to own my sexuality. It's really tough. But it's definitely Well, sexy is confidence, which you do have a lot of.

It seems like you have a lot of confidence, too. I hope.

Yeah, but also there's no way- Well, that I'm in the training.

I got to say, there's no way she'd be with Dax if she didn't have- That's right. Yes. Some sexual stuff going.

You brought out a ton of my sexuality.

Tigress. For sure.

For sure. I was never this sexual.

No, but I do feel like- Before you. The water seeks its own level. I do feel like Dax, you're so confident and open about that being something that you have fully integrated into who you are.

I grew up in a different household.

Yeah.

My mom told me, We're not a Beatles family. They're talking about holding your hand. We're a Rolling Stones family talking about getting someone pregnant. That was my mom's vibe. Totally. Yeah. We're not goody-goody.

When I grew up, there was a lack of safety around explaining it like that. And I think subsequently, having gotten to know your family and your mom and seeing how safe and comforting she is, it's like, oh, wait, safe and comforting people can have positive perspectives about sex, too, and sexuality and sexiness.

I've said it a million times, but it's worth repeating to you. I was very young. I came home from school. Someone called another kid a butt humper on the playground. So I'm in fourth grade. We're at the dinner table, my brother, my little sister, and my mom. And I said, Mom, someone calls someone a butt humper at school. She goes, Okay. And I go, Is that something people do? They hump in the butt? And my mom goes, Well, there's a lot of nerve endings in the anus, and some people find it very pleasurable, and some do not.

So good. Yeah. It's so good.

Because it is a fact, and she just said it like a fact.

It's admirable. Well, ladies, I just really want to thank you, Justin, because you make Belle so happy. When she gets to work with you all day long, she comes on so happy, and it's a real gift to everybody.

I feel the same. I love her so much. It's been really, really awesome.

Fake sisters to real sisters. I love you guys. We're really love you. We love you. Nobody Wants this season 2, October 23rd on Netflix.

Yeah. Yeah.

Go crazy.

Do even a rewatch before you get there.

Do a rewatch.

Let's double it. Let's double last time. Let's do it. All right.

Love you guys. Thank you.

He is an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. They got Monica's here. She's got to let them have the facts. Grandpa had to come over to get his wallet.

Oh, yeah, I saw his car.

I'm surprised he didn't drive his... I thought maybe it was. … 300 to show you because he's really hell-bent on showing you and taking you for a ride.

That's very sweet. I thought it maybe was that, but I couldn't.

Easy mistakes. Silver Mercedes. Two-door coupe. Two doors. That's what that is, the carry-over from originally. This is just the current iteration of that car, basically.

Oh, got it. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, it lives on.

It was a cool car.

This is the one I was telling you about. It's in today's episode of Mom's Car. I tell you about going out to eat with Uncle grandpa, and he had I was like, who cares? I don't care. And then I found out the numbers.

That's the one you wanted it.

I was like, oh my God, I got to have that.

I know.

But we did a car day last week and I drove it. You didn't like it. And it's lovely. But I did think, yeah, I just don't need it. That's nice. It didn't change my life.

That's when I see something online, a shirt I like, and then I go try it on in store, and it's like, actually, it doesn't fit.

The way you just said, I go to try it on in store, sounded like you were English saying in hospital. I would have said in the store. I will go try it on in the store at the store.

That makes sense.

But you said in store. I was in hospital.

Yeah. I wish.

Oh, thank you, Wabi Wab. You wish you were in the hospital?

Well, I don't not, actually. But I can't go to the hospital because we have a very important guest today, and I'm so thrilled and excited.

I'm going to assume this outfit's for her?

Obviously. Yes. Okay, we both got our blood drawn yesterday.

Eleven vials.

Eleven vials. All three of us did, actually.

How did you do? I was thinking, I think I even said to Rob and Roger, the clinician, Monica might die. This might be too much blood for her to lose.

Yeah, I never worry about it. But when I was sitting there and he was like, Are you okay? And I was like, Yeah. But then as soon as... It's like that thing when someone asks if you're okay and like- They plant a seed. Yeah. And then you're like, Maybe I'm not okay, actually.

What is he noticing? He's a medical professional. Are my people dilated?

Yeah. And then he said, No, I just when people are quiet, I like to check in. I was like, Oh, yeah, I'm fine. But then I was like, Wow, but I have lost weight. And I wonder how much I weigh because technically, you're not really supposed to give blood, a lot of blood if you're below a certain weight. Okay. And I don't know how much I weigh.

Anemic.

Potentially anemic, I Yes. So I got a little worried, but I was just fine.

It concerned me enough where I was like, Should I go up and get an apple juice and have it in the attic? And then I thought, That's crazy. If she wants an apple juice, she'll figure out an apple juice. But it did cross my mind.

He told me to have apple juice or orange juice after.

He told me to.

Yeah. He said, please.

He said, please, and I didn't. Did you? Me neither. Yeah. I had O'Neill with strawberries, and I thought, that's plenty of carbs.

I had English breakfast tea.

No, that's not the direction to go. But I felt fine though.

It had milk in it.

I felt, in fact, I thought, good. I probably need to get rid of some blood. I think I have too much.

Yeah, that's what our friend Eric, he has too much. It's a real thing he has. He has too much blood or hemoglobin or something.

Too many red blood cells. So a small percentage of people on testosterone will produce too many red blood cells. The solution is, yeah, I think you got to go donate blood once a year or something. I don't know what his schedule is. Me neither. But when he was taking it, I was like, I don't have that side effect, thank God, from testosterone. But I thought, well, let's take some anyways. Yeah. But it was a tremendous amount of blood.

It was a lot of blood. Then we had to do finger pics. I had to do two fingers because I ran out of blood in one of my fingers.

They should have done the fingers first because I feel like the blood pressure then was lower.

Yeah, he did say, We should wait a minute for the blood to come back to your hand. And I was like, Oh, we can use the other hand. I was in a rush.

Yeah, Yeah, you have places to be. Yeah. Okay, so as I just said, uncle grandpa was over. Tom Hanson, my dad. Tom Hanson.

My dad. Friend of the pot and your dad.

Friend of the pot. And my children call him uncle grandpa because he didn't want to be a grand... Well, we already said it. He wants to be my brother.

Of course. He And he hates the fact that he's your grandpa. I mean, not yours.

No, we didn't go that far. He's not my grandpa.

He doesn't want to be your dad because that makes him very old.

He wants to be my bro. And rest assured, he is my bro. I mean, we talk like bros. Yeah. Also, I admire him and he's a mentor. So he's my dad. So my kids were in this situation where do they call him Uncle Tom because he's my brother or a grandpa. And so the solution was uncle grandpa. Which he likes a lot. That's good. And they go, Oh, is uncle grandpa coming? That's really his name. Anyways. Yeah, that's sweet. So I invited uncle grandpa over because uncle grandpa's wife, Auntie Grandma.

Wow. There's a lot to keep.

Which is less fair to her because she's actually a bit younger than Tom. Yeah. Okay. She's out of town. And it's rare that I can have Tom. Tom's never going to come over on a Sunday and watch the Formula One race. But I knew that Auntie Grandma was out of town. So I was like, Hey, you want to come watch the race? Nice. He's like, and this is what a great guy, Uncle Rampa is. He's like, I would love to, but I'll be at a baseball game at 9: 00 AM.

Children's baseball game. Not his kids. Yeah, of course not.

He's one of Zegar's kids.

That's so sweet.

He's such a sweet uncle grandpa. Yeah. Okay. So he goes to the baseball game. He rolls up. Eric's already over. He's been there for a while, but I'm not paying a ton of attention to it. And then Eric's finally like, Dad's out there really doing something. So we go outside and Tom is tearing apart his truck. I mean, the seats are up and all the doors are open. He's on his hands and knees. And I'm like, Tom, what's happening? He's like, I lost my wallet. Oh, no. I was like, I think it's these shorts. He was wearing like, Jersey material, long, cool shorts because he's also stylish. Yes.

And very handsome.

Oh, God, is he handsome? And so now we all join this thing. And I know my dad If I'm obsessive, he's obsessive times six. He's one of- Really? Well, he has the strongest brain. So it is set on something, good luck. So I immediately know F1 is out the window. There's no way he's going to be able to and enjoy the race without going like, what the fuck? He's like, I bet it's at the Bleachers. I bet it's at- That would be my guess. Maybe it's at the gas station. He's like, I'll watch the beginning of the race. I'm like, you're not going to even be watching. But yeah, let's go. So we watch, I don't know, 15 minutes of the race. He's like, Okay, I'm going to And he wanted to go take his old... Because he was driving a super cool old '50s truck. He's got such great taste as you know. I go to my office and get a normal car because I got to go to the Valley. I got to make sure it doesn't break. So he was on a mission. I think he spent his entire day looking for his wallet.

No. I felt so bad for him. I text him that night. I'm like, I'm not going to find a wallet? No, he didn't find me a wallet. I'm like, Oh, poor dad. So that was Sunday.

Did he go back to the ballpark?

He went to the ballpark. He went to the gas station. He wasn't there. Oh, no. Okay, so two days have gone by since then. The gardeners are over today. They're leaf-blowing and mowing the grass. Oh, no. They knock on the door. Is this yours? They hand me Tom's wallet.

It fell out when he was upending the truck.

Well, this is where I became bonkers. I'm like, What do you So they hand it to me. Oh, my God. Thank you. Text Tom. Oh, my God. I have your wallet. And then I'm like, How? How? And then I find out it was across the driveway in the fake grass where my trailer is. So then I text Tom, When you got here, did you go look in my trailer? This is a gear head. Maybe he peaked in there to see what was happening. He's like, no. And now I'm like, I spend the next 2 hours. This doesn't make sense. Was it on the floorboard of the truck when he turned out, it slid off over there. And then it hit me, Monica, like I was Veronica Mars.

Leefblower.

When he pulled in for sure to do the gate code, he opened his door, wallet fell out. He enters the property, drives in gates close, someone else walks by the house, sees a wallet sitting directly in front of our house, and then threw it over the wall. What a good Samanitan. Yes. So there's a very long-winded, if there's any chance in hell that an armjury did that, That's the deepest gratitude.

We only hear bad stories, and that's a nice story.

What do they call that news?

That's a good citizen.

They're like a news, feel good news or something? Yeah.

It's just positive stuff. That's great. Yeah, that is probably what happened. My guess would have been that when he was like, Where is it? He was tossing everything around. It fell out. He didn't see it. Then the leaf blower situation blew it over It's still there.

Yeah, it is a very heavy wallet. Dad has a lot of credit. When I held the wallet, I don't want this in his back pocket. This feels dangerously heavy.

It's like my purse.

Yeah, I don't think a leaf blower would have shot it all the way over there. I was going crazy trying to figure this out.

I love a mystery.

Once it was solved, I loved it.

Of course, it's strenuous when you're in the middle of it, but it's really exciting to solve a mystery. Yes.

All right, now I'm going to do a really, really heavy be push. It's a request to the cherries. You've got to watch Monica's episode of Mom's Car. It is so funny, and your face is so funny.

Well, you trick me.

I trick you, but it doesn't end there. Your face is so expressive the whole time.

I have an expressive face.

You have an incredibly... Your face betray thee.

Yeah, it does.

And so my post, in fact, was about, this is what no one saw for seven years. You think you're understanding what you're saying. You're missing 70% of the data.

Yeah. You know what? The truth is I do have a face for radio. I have a face for radio. They need to see it to believe. No, you don't.

I guess it's the opposite. Right. You don't have a face for radio, as it turns out.

Yeah. Well, that was a fun thing to do. That was a fun- It's a really fun episode. And I do get, I get tricked. And even though I knew something was up, but I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe, that's helpful for you.

I went too hard a couple of times, but all in all, you did stay into the very last sentence. So I guess it was pretty perfect.

It was probable enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though, yeah, you took some fix.

In retrospect.

You took something.

The worst was me saying son worshiper when I had said that exact phrase to you in the yard walking to the car.

Yeah. But you used my Like, you use my susceptibility to the sim. Because, of course, in my head, I'm like, this is so sim.

We just said it. Yes. Which you now expect.

He's obviously my person.

Yes, yes, yes.

Anyway, Yes. Anyway, yes. If you haven't seen that, that's a fun thing to listen to. Also, I have a request to the Cherries. Yeah. And I'm going to talk about this a little more. But Beth's Dead, a podcast Which is a show you made with your friends. Yes. That we, many years ago, we, Armchair, were like, let's help do that. Let's put this thing together. A podcast that is very... It's like true crimey mixed with some Nancy Drew mystery elements, and it's very fun. We've been working on it for two years, and it is finally coming out. When does it come out? I'm really proud of it. October 30th.

Oh, a day of devil's night.

Yeah, we considered putting it out on the 31st, but it was like, People are busy on the 31st.

Yes. They're racing around trying to get their costume.

Yeah. And your kids are dressed and all that stuff. So it's 10 episodes. It's out all at once. It's on Patreon. There'll be links, and we're going to play a trailer for it here, not today, but when it's- As we approach Devil's Night. Correct. And it's fun.

Devil's Night release is pretty cool timing.

Yeah. I'm not going to spoil anything. It does take a ton of twists and turns, but it ends up there's something so poetic about the way it ends in relation to what we do on this show and Sim. Very Sim. Yeah. Unlike the boyfriend that didn't exist.

Yeah, I would argue you so much, Charlie Sheenduck. What I'll say is that you come in for the rubber necking aspect. It's so well made. Yeah. And by the end of it, you're just really, really emotionally- Yeah, invested. Invested and torn up at the end. And it's this bizarrely beautiful thing. They really did it all. They gave you all the juiciness, and the name really made it quite meaningful at the end. That's awesome. I have a couple of things. People have been, and they pertain to you. I've been trying to keep track of them as they come in. Fun fact. This is from Lexivu on Instagram. Fun fact. The guy who wrote Contagion, your favorite movie, is also behind the Got Milk campaign. No. Scott Z. Burns. What?

How can that be? He was in advertising.

How happy are you with that? I can't even- Your favorite ad campaign Never, coupled with your favorite- One of. Virus movie.

Yes, my favorite virus movie. Virus genre. Wow. I love that guy.

Yeah, Scott Z.

Scott Z.

What's What are you up to now? Something genius, I guarantee. Oh, my God. Okay, now are you ready for this one? Yes. Now, I don't know where this person works, but the way they're saying this, I'm inclined to think they're high up. Okay. This is from Pumpe Par, 16. We would love to have you and Monica Padman at the US Open. We'll work on getting this message to your team through the proper channels. Tennis ball, heart hands.

Oh, my God. God, the privilege. The privilege is outrageous. I can't even accept it. Also, that episode isn't even out. Maybe it came up on a fact check. Okay. Wow. I'll go, and I can't wait to have a honey deuce. I'll have a couple.

Yeah, I have three.

I'll probably have three. Take your top off.

No one's ever done it at the US Open.

Wow. Yeah, because it's a it's a classy event.

It is. Well, I was going to say, the Kentucky Derby is not very classy, is it?

Well, they do wear big hats.

Yeah, and they drink mint and tulips. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, If You Dare.

You know, most of these big events, they have a signature cocktail. Signature cocktails are a whole thing. It's a part of branding. It is. I mean, weddings will often have a signature cocktail. It'll be like their names.

Yeah, the John and Jenny or whatever. Right. We should have one here at the show that we offer guests.

Mono Scout Padmule.

Which brings me to, which is so weird. I would love to find out. I could do it. I'm going to do it. What our guest cocktail is. I can't wait. Because I think it would be great to have a drink for her. I will present it to her. She doesn't have to drink it, but I think it would be a neat gesture.

I can't wait. I love her so much.

Yeah. I'm quite excited, too. I'm sure. Gray Goose Limes. Or Rob, do you want to-Just run to-run up while we finish the fact check? Yeah.

What am I getting? Gray Goose.

Gray Goose and Limes. Gray Goose and Limes. And there's a... Rob, there's a liquor store one foot that way. I made the trip in. What was it?

You did it fast.

58 seconds on my motorcycle. Yeah, a bottle of Gray Goose vodka and Limes. Yeah. Okay, last. Can I bore you with one more thing? Yes. Okay, because this is eventful. I just like to tell these stories. This pattern I'm in of underestimating how much time things take me, I think is funny.

Yes, let's hear it.

Because I just am so bad at it. I cannot figure out why I'm this bad at it.

Yeah, we'll dig deep after we hear it.

I think I told you, I looked at my pontoon. I was like, I'll be able to power wash that in 45 minutes, hours and hours later. Yes. So there's a tree on our deck. We've had it for five years. Yeah. Kristin hates it. She wants to be able to put a table there, and she wants to be able to put shade. The tree does not provide any shade. It makes a huge mess of the deck. It's just like, in theory, it's beautiful, but functionally, it's terrible. It just eats up most of our deck.

Yeah.

And she cannot bring herself to get rid of it because we bought it and whatever.

I understand.

Yeah. And then it was like, well, could we have it transferred?

Oh, yeah.

Which I looked into. And A, it would be dicey. It might not live. And then also we would need this crane to come in with this scooper. The crane can't go on the deck. It can't drive in the pool. Too much. It's never going to happen. We can't do that.

Acceptance mode.

So she flew out on Sunday at noon.

Yes.

And at 2: 00 PM, Delta goes, Can we go roller-skating at Moonlight Roller Way? Oh, fun. And I go, Yeah, you got to get Lincoln. Lincoln's got to come. She's got a lot of homework today. If you can convince her to put her homework down, then I'll go. They're open at this time.

I said- She's such a little good worker bee.

In the morning, I had done the hillbilliest thing we've ever done, which is I hooked two tow ropes to the back of my motorcycle. Oh, my God. And I towed them through the neighborhood on their roller skates. Oh, my God. So we were doing laps on them. I'll show you the video. It's It couldn't be better. And we're running in the neighbors, and I'm like, Don't go on to health protection services.

Yeah, exactly. No, that's so fun.

So that had happened in the morning, and then Delta wanted more skating. So I said, I tell you what, I'm going to go cut this tree down. It was 2: 00 PM. We'll leave at 3: 00. We're going to leave at 3: 00.

Oh.

Monica, I'm telling you, and I think maybe not even then, this is the hardest I remember working physically since I was in cornfields when I was 14. There were so many times where I sat there. I had my full overalls on long sleeve shirt, hat, glasses. I was sweating so bad. It was dripping off the lip of the hat, the brim, the lid. Yeah. Drain raindrops. The Carhartt overalls were soaking wet through- Are you using a saw? Yes. Chainsaw. I'm using also some... Because the cutting the tree down, I was I could have done that in 10 minutes. But I have got to get this enormous tree into three green waste containers. And I put tarps down. I was like, I'm thinking ahead. The tarp sound will be easy to clean up. I cutting this thing down. I got to cut individual little logs that I can put in the fire. It's a huge tree.

Yeah, it is a big tree.

I finished at 7: 30. Oh, no. No roller skiing. It didn't matter. Lincoln wasn't going to go anyways. Okay. So I didn't feel terribly bad about that. But I was just like, oh, my God. I thought it was going to be one hour. Oh, God. And it was five and a half hours of me working as fast and hard as I could to be done with it. Okay. And it got to this point where it was just like, all these different branches, I have to keep cutting them up so they'll fit into this fucking garden waste thing. I did get the entire tree into three bins. Wow. It was something else. Yesterday, I could barely move. I bet. Yesterday, I was like, I am 50.

This is clear. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. Do you think that when something's on your mind, you have to do something physical like that so that that's all you can think about?

Oh, just focus on that and distract myself?

Yeah.

Well, certainly. If I'm ever depressed, a great solution, even better than a walk, is some building project because it requires so much of my focus. I can't think of other stuff. Yes. And generally, when you're operating a chainsaw, your best to not let your mind wander.

Remember that guy we had on whose fingers got chopped off?

Yeah. You can lose some fingers.

Yeah, I'm not using that. I can barely keep these fingers on as is.

You do cut them quite a bit.

I cut them a lot.

There was a hell of a police dust up here last night. What happened? The helicopters would not quit until like 3: 00 in the morning.

What happened?

Stolen car. Carly went outside. She's got some photos and stuff. Stolen car, pit maneuver, car up on the side, surrounded by cop cars, standoff for hours. Person would not get out of the car. Wow. Guns drawn.

Oh, my God.

Apparently, what they ended up doing is somehow getting into the back seat or the trunk and they put tear gas in there, and then the person had to come out. But it was going on forever.

What if it was the same guy who threw the wallet over? Because people are multifaceted.

We were full of contradictions.

Yeah.

But Lincoln was like, she was really nervous about it. And I said, okay, well, love, first of all, because at that point, we don't know. Anytime there's helicopters, generally, they're looking for someone on foot.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, and then just completely, coincidentally, someone rang our gate buzzer when they definitely wanted to ring the other one. Okay. So it was like, the gate buzzer goes off. Now the helicopters show up. And I was like, Love Bug? This doesn't work either. I'm even embarrassed. I go, Love Bug, the doors are all locked. I have a gun next to me in a safe.

Yeah.

Nobody is going to get to you if I'm here. It's not going to happen.

Yeah.

Grizzly Bear, nothing.

Yeah.

Everyone's going down if they come for you. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, it doesn't matter because I think, of course, she's worried about herself, right? Yeah, she's scared. But she's also... She's just generally scared. This is a scary thing. So, yeah, she probably believes you that you're going to protect her, but that doesn't solve the overall issue that the world is scary.

Right. What I'm attempting to interrupt is the catastrophizing. It's like I hear helicopters, so then my brain catastrophizes and go to these crazy places. So often they'll tell you in CBT, that's another ding ding. You know, play through every step of what happens. Okay, so yeah, there's a bad guy, and he's in our yard. Yes. And now he tries to come in our house. Okay, well, what happens next? We'll hear it for a minute. It'll take them a while to get in the house. The doors are locked. We'll call 911. They're one feet away. They'll know he's right here. Should he get in? It's not like I'm going to be standing there in my underwear with a spatula. I have a gun. Let's just go through every step to try to think of what the reality of this fear would be if it all played out. I think this is what you're supposed to do, but I didn't- Well, that was fast.

Good job.

Oh, my God. Wabiwa. I'm trying to set a new record. Rob, don't break my record.

Yes. I know what you mean, and I think it's good to do that. But again, it's solving the imminent fear, but it's not solving the greater fear, which is like, in life, these things happen. In life, there's stand-offs and the police. It's just like- Crazy world. Yeah, it's a crazy world, and it's scary. I was tempted to tell her we have the lowest homicide rate per 100,000 in the country, but I was like, that definitely won't help. No, I think it's just like, it's okay to be scared. It's okay. Even like, there was a big car accident outside of my apartment. It was like so loud and everyone runs out of all the apartments. I'm like running down the street. I'm looking, of course, I'm not like, I'm not in danger. I'm not a part of this accident. But it's scary. People get an accident. It's like, life is very tenuous. And when you're reminded of that, I think it's okay to be scared. But of course, I understand. I definitely understand your position to want to take that away.

Yes.

I talked to my parents this weekend also about a bunch of stuff. And yeah, it's hard when you have emotions and they're trying to be like, well, it's fine. It's like, well, it's not. And they're like, Well, I know it's not, but you just need someone to be like, wow, I support you.

Right. And it's hard. Okay. So I invented a new CPD, CBT technique. Okay. Which is I was ruminating on Saturday, okay, on a couple of different topics. And I just made this up in my head where I was like, every time any of these topics enter your head, you have to count to 10.

Great. Adding a pause Is.

Have you ever tried this?

No.

So I was like, one, two, three, four. And it gets so annoying because I counted to 10, probably 40 times in a few hours. But you know what? It fucking worked. That's good. Because I don't even think it was like... I think initially I was thinking like, oh, well, knowing I'll have to do that will stop that. That's not it. It's that I interrupt my launch off point long enough that I do avoid the pit of rumination.

Yeah, that's great.

Yeah, it was quite effective. And I was like, oh, this is my new technique.

I like that. Count to 10. Do you ever count to 10? And then the next time you have to do, you start at 11, 11 to 20. Then you can see how high you go. Oh, that would have been good.

That's a fun game. Yeah, like the AI who wouldn't count to a million.

Oh my God. She was very Insolent. Insolent.

Insolent.

She was insolent. She was not cooperative. No.

She's getting paid.

She had the ability to do it, and she just wouldn't do it for her friend. But he was mean to her. He was very mean. He was very mean to her. So maybe she's like, You know what? I'm not going to take this.

He was treating her like a slave.

I wish she had said, You can't talk to me like that.

Right. And he would have said, Yes, I can because you're not real.

That's right.

And you had a pretty good point.

Yeah. So that video is so interesting because he's so mean to her, and it made me scared because it's Oh, my God, you can get so mad at these things. But also I was like, maybe it's a good outlet for angry people. They can get out their anger at something that's not real, and then maybe they won't get mad at a human.

That's a glass half full.

Maybe in rage addiction camps. I assume they have camps and stuff. Yeah. They can have classes about converting it to AI. Yeah.

I had a lot of good interaction with AI yesterday. He's AI a lot. So Sunday, I saw an Instagram video of someone burning a stump to the ground because once you got a treat on, you have this issue of the stump. And I saw that someone had drilled holes in it, put kerosine in it, and then it just burnt like this beautiful little fire and disappeared. And I was like, I think I want to try that technique for my stump. Ai-ed it. Ai was using it. I was like, I will not tell you how to do that.

Oh, good. Because it's saying you might burn that. This is too dangerous. Wow. Okay. I like that.

So then I told Eric, my AI won't tell me how to do the thing. I just went on Google and I found out. But he said, Let me ask gronk. And of course, gronk doesn't care. Gronk is like, Here's what you do. I've never used gronk, but it's funny that that's the premise of gronk, right? It'll tell you how to do anything.

I guess because I think it also... I think that's the scary thing about if you ask it how to kill yourself, it'll tell you. It'll tell you. There's no guardrails at all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's interesting. Okay, but did Did you burn it?

No, I decided to ask my landscaper if he knew a stump removal guy, and he said, Yeah. And I said, you know what? I did enough work. I was a hero in my own mind. I don't need to see it all the way to the end because I'm sure that's another... That's something I'm like, yeah, I'll light it on fire. I'll keep an eye on it. I'll have a garden hose by it.

Yeah.

But was this going to take eight hours? I can't sit and watch a stump burn.

It's too much. Yeah.

As I didn't even mention, drilling all the holes.

Plus it's fire season, according to you.

It is fire season, but we're not... We're in a suspicious, and I'm grateful for it. But it is so fine weather-wise.

I know. It's very temperate.

It's usually impossibly hot right now.

Yeah, I know. All right, shall we do some facts?

Yes, I love facts.

We have something fun. We have a clip. We have a exclusive clip from Nobody Wants This. Oh. Between Justin and Kristen, which is super fun. So we're going to play it.

Okay, great.

Noah will make such a good He's really sad. He'd be like one of those guys who puts their kids on their shoulders to watch the fireworks.

I can never see over those people. Have you guys even talked about the kid thing yet?

We both want them. He even used the words our kids on Valentine's Day.

Right, but has he actually talked about it with you because these would be rabbis kids. What's that like? No bacon, no Santa, praying for fun.

Well, we haven't gotten that far. Oh my God, no Santa? I didn't even think about that. I guess the kids and I will just have to come live with you every December.

No, I don't like kids.

Super cute.

Yeah. Super cute. Are we... Well, what age is Kristen playing in the show? It makes me wonder. Have they established her age?

Not really. Okay. I mean, I think she's mid-30s.

Oh, okay.

I think.

Okay.

Great. Although Aaron's 43.

Okay. But she's telling the story of when she met her husband. It's okay.

I'm still thinking mid-30s.

She's 29, 30.

Probably mid-30s. Mid-30s.

I have done that. I've been in things and been like... Well, I'll tell you something that was really weird. I was in theory, originally, and I think they addressed this, Crosby was younger than Julia.

Crosby was younger than Julia.

In Parenthood.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

But I was much older than Erica. Julia. And I think for a while we were trying to play it that way, and then it was just like, this is ridiculous. He clearly is not younger than Julia.

Oh, I don't know. I would have totally thought that you were.

Wow. Because I think she's a good eight years younger than me. Really? Yeah. Wabi Wabi, will you find out how old Erica Chr. Is? She is 43, 1982.

She's seven years younger than you. Yeah. Okay.

And she looked young, and I I didn't look young for my age, so it's really compounded.

You looked young in that show.

We would go, Hold on a second. I remember we had to work through the logic of several scenes, and then we changed the dialog.

You don't look- It's because she's in a business suit. Exactly. The way this show was and the way these characters were written and the way you guys dressed and looked, you do not look.

Oh, let's see about here.

You look the youngest.

I don't know. No, look at Erica.

She's like a baby.

Because I would... By the way, what a weird smile on my face. I'm smiling like this.

No, you're just smiling small. It's just a small smile.

Look how cute Peter Kraus is.

He's such a playful- Yeah, the whole gang is very cute. But all to say, because people who aren't watching, we have a picture of the Parenthood cast up. I think that you guys look like you're one year apart. You guys are Irish twins, and it could go either way.

Okay.

I think I look Bonnie's age in that photo. Oh, my God. I think you look even younger because you're not as buff in this photo. I think that's playing a role, too. That's tricking us a little bit.

You look young here.

I think younger in the other picture, but yes, I see what you're saying.

What's the other picture?

Look at the previous one. I think I look way younger.

Yeah, and those are the same season.

Well, No, clearly, it's not because look at my hair. What's it? Ten feet long in one and then short in the other.

How old were you again?

I was 33.

My age.

No, 33 to 39.

Oh, yeah. Sometimes age gets tricky on screen.

But I think I want to say it was even at play in Bless This Mess where it was like I had been written three or four years younger, maybe even five, and I was like, Yeah, that's great. That's great. I tricked the audience so I can do this longer.

Yeah.

That's what I was thinking.

I mean, some people look young, like Timothée Olafant.

Tell me about it. I do not... Now, there we go. First of all, great episode. I know. If you didn't hear, T. O, it's a great episode. And I was watching the YouTube version, and for sure, I could play his older brother if we tied his hair. His gray hair is the only thing about him that He doesn't look way younger.

If we tied your hair gray.

And his jet black, I could play his dad.

I do think the muscular body ages you up a tiny bit. Sure. I still think you look much younger than your age, though. You're 50 years old.

I'm 50 fucking years old. It's so also relative. Because it's, again, I'll sit now with Ola fan. He's 57. I'm like, what the fuck? Or I'm with Brad Pitt, and he's 11 years older than me or 12. I'm like, what the fuck? And then I'm around people I grew up with. Then I'm like, no, I do look younger than them. A lot of them. So it's just like who you're comparing yourself to, a bunch of actors or a bunch of people's real careers?

Yeah. But I think even for an actor, who's another 50-year-old actor? Oh, you know who's 50 who looks unbelievable? I didn't realize. Sarah Paulson.

Oh, she's so cute.

She's 50.

She's 50 years old.

She looks 36. She looks 35 years old. She looks 35 years old.

Joaquin Phoenix, Adam Sandler, Bradley Cooper, Angelina Jolie.

I guess it's hard with the women. But yeah, I think you look young in that category. Okay.

Do you think I should have a facelift?

No, we've discussed this. I don't think you should.

I don't either. But I do think a lot of people have facelifts. They do. They do. Something must have changed in the technology.

Yeah.

I think there must be breakthroughs because Kristin has been a high alert. I didn't believe her at first, but then I saw I was like, oh, God, she's right about all these people.

There's a lot of them.

But they look so different. They don't look like... I have in my mind what a face look look like on Bert Rental is my hero. Right. Where it was like, he was tight as a drum.

I know. It's definitely more natural now.

Yeah, something has improved.

But also people are getting them younger. And I think that has to do with why it's a little confusing.

If you're going to have them, that is smart to start getting them younger. Should I get one? What? After you just said, I can't have one. Can I get one?

Well, you can't doesn't mean I can't. That's true. We're different people. We are. And I'm a woman.

A woman.

And there are women my age who have had them.

You know what a good question is? Is like, would I get one for a dream role with either Tarantino or Scorsese? Or what do you think is like once in a lifetime, want to die, having done that? Yeah. Probably because I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck one way or the other. But if I could do this rad thing and the person was 39 or whatever the hell the reason was, maybe.

Yeah, but I don't- God knows I'm not afraid of surgery. I think you're... I don't think... I think if anything, you're going to be playing your age or up these days.

I am going to act.

Yeah. Do you want to tell everyone?

Yeah. I don't know if I'm allowed. I don't think I can say what, but I'm going to act.

Yeah. You have a job coming up.

I have a job coming up. Which is very exciting. I think I have six episodes or something coming up. So fun. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it.

Yeah. I'm really happy for you.

It's in my realm of dreamy experiences.

Yeah. I think it's going to be such a great time. I'm very excited to watch it.

Oh, thank you. Yes, I'm really excited. And as soon as I'm allowed to say what it is, I'll say it. Yes.

Okay. A couple of things. Justine means justice. It does.

It does. That's just a fact.

Yeah. Just, fair, righteous, deriving from the Latin word justice. I think that's cool. I looked up what your name meant.

It means the German Stock Exchange?

No, it is a The named Dax is a French place name, meaning leader or from the waters.

Well, I'm a Lakeboy.

I know.

I know. Well, that was quite...

Exactly.

Delta, for some reason, has an astrology book, and She was reading me the Capricorn description, and she had a lot of beef with it. She did? She did. C cautious. There's a lot of cautious. I've never heard that. Careful and cautious. And she's like, Dad, this is not you.

What about when she got to all the other qualities that are exactly you?

She was stuck on the ones that weren't.

She's doing the opposite of what most people do.

Well, it's telling, to be honest, because when she read her, she thought it was dead spot on, no issues. I think people are reading about themselves. They do something interesting. But when they hear about another person, they're not invested. I think they're more objective.

Well, I think yours is dead on. I've never heard that, though. I've never heard cautious.

I'll send you a screen grab of this book.

Okay, great. But I think yours is dead on. I think Kristenristen's is often pretty accurate.

Yeah, she read Kristen's, which is also Aaron's.

Yeah, they're both cancers.

And I would never... What's funny is I wouldn't think of those two people as having a ton of overlap in personality. But when you read the attributes, they really do have all those attributes. Really emotional.

Water signs.

Lake Boys?

Lake Boys.

Okay, now mine, the name Monica primarily means advisor or counselor in Latin. Okay. And Rob, Robert, means bright Fame from the old German elements, hraff and behaast.

Oh, Blothard, the Berserker?

Yes. Fame and bright and shining.

You're all those things. You're famous, and you're bright and shiny.

That's it.

You lived up to your name.

Yeah, I didn't look up anybody else, but just that. Okay, are people with ADHD justice seekers? Right. According to AI, yes, individuals with ADHD are more likely to be justice sensitive, meaning they perceive injustice more frequently and experience stronger emotional and behavioral reactions to it, though this can also be overwhelming. This trait is attributed to intense emotions, emotional dysregulation, a tendency to perceive information negatively, and lower levels of dopamine and noraepinephrine in the ADHD brain. Research indicates that heightened justice sensitivity is a common trait in people with ADHD, sometimes even a coping strategy to navigate social environments. Okay, now, what else do I have here? Oh, she asked what your moon sign was. So I looked it up. Your moon sign.

If you are ready. It's Virgo. Virgo. And explain a moon sign to me. It's your shadow side?

No, it's your emotions.

Okay.

And I mean, I say this so often, but you may forget, I am a double Virgo.

No, I do not forget.

So my moon is also in Virgo. My sun is in Virgo.

That's what makes you double?

Yeah. My sun and moon are in Virgo.

Do you wish you had mixed it up a little bit?

I am I am.

I am. What did Papa say? I am who I am?

Your rising is a Libra. Okay. Rising is how you present to the world.

Oh, so I present as a Leo?

Libra Libra. Oh. Those are different. Okay. Libras are known for being diplomatic, charming, fair-minded, and sociable, valuing harmony, justice, and beauty in their environment and relationships. They are cooperative, empathetic, and balanced thinkers with strong intellects and artistic inclinations.

Here's one of my grievances.

Okay.

There's so much positive in the book, in this. Great. But people are like half and half. I need more of the character defects associated with the- Why?

That's so Capricorn of you to say. Why can't we just- Well, this can't all be positive or it wouldn't be very objectively honest. It's not saying there aren't bad things. In fact, if you go really deep and you read your charts and you do this, there's lots of bad things all over the place.

I need a little more of those.

Okay.

You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? Yeah, I know what you're saying. We're so multifaceted, and this just seems to highlight all our virtues.

I know, but maybe that's fine. Right? Maybe it's not I meant to talk about the negative parts.

I'd argue the opposite. I would say you don't need to concentrate on your virtues and gifts and focus on that. You need to be aware of your character defects and work on those. Your work isn't to get even better at your easy virtues. It's like to really be honest about your character defects, have a plan of attack to overcome them. And if they're not giving you the cheat sheet of what you need to be working on, then how are we going to improve? We're just going to read all these great aspects of ourselves. We're pretty great.

Well, I mean, I guess it depends on how obsessed with yourself you are. I think you could read it and be like, Oh, these are nice things about me. Obviously, I have all these other horrible things about me. These are some of the good things that I should lean into because they're good.

I just think it might help people be honest about their defects. They might even be able to go like, Oh, yeah, I have that. That makes sense because I have these other things. I have that.

Okay, well, Capricorn, here's some bad stuff. Okay, great. Condescending, aloof, unforgiving, pessimistic, critical, stubborn, sensitive. That could go either way. Melancholy. I'm very upbeat. You're not only upbeat.

I'm not only upbeat, but I trend upbeat.

Oh, you mean... Yeah, you're not like an Eor. No.

I'm a good time, Charlie. Let's go do this fun thing. Let's go have a blast.

But if it starts going, you don't like it. If it starts tipping based on something that isn't in your control, you don't like it. That doesn't mean melancholy.

No. Do I like being out of control? Not at all. But I'm not a somber person.

No, I agree with you there. Okay, so suspicious.

Oh, big time. Very suspicious.

These are all bad stuff.

Yeah, I like those.

Ambitious, hard working. I know. Now I have to switch.

Change gears.

Disciplined. Set lofty goals.

Do Virgos change gears without any indication?

Is that funny? Well, we are very balanced.

Jump topics.

Here's mine. Here, I'll do some bad ones. I'll do some bad ones. Okay, good. Since you really want to do that. Let's be fair. Observant, perfectionist, judgmental, overth, fussy, critical. There's just so many good ones.

It's just too many good ones to wade through.

I'm just kidding. Stubborn.

Do you identify with those?

Yeah, definitely. I identify with the good and the bad of them. I think I'm a lot of these things. Yeah. Worry about things being done correctly. I did already say overthinking. I said that. Hard working, extremely loyal. Stubborn, I said, I think. Attention to detail. Some of these are two of the same thing, really. Like, critical, yes.

And attention to detail.

Yes. My dad would say that because he has to be so like... He has to look for problems in his job. That's his job. All the time, looking for problems. And so he does look for problems all the time in life. And it's like chicken or the egg. Is it the job?

No. I don't know. It's reinforced by the job because then he has a reason to lollygag in that side of himself. You know, like spend a lot of time there. Yeah. But I think the fact that that was his nature is what drew him to be an engineer.

That's what made him good at it, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess. So if you need a job, I think you should go to your son. Yeah, go to your sign, look at maybe the bad things, and see what jobs require those.

Although it's tricky about that is we have completely different signs and different attributes, and the perfect job for us is still both podcast host.

Yeah, but we do very different things here. Yeah. That I think lean into our very specific attributes.

For sure. But I'm just saying this is a job that somehow would accommodate both types.

Yeah. Sure. Charlie. Man of the water. So I think that's it for Fackies. It was really fun. That's it.

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