Transcript of Dominic Fike

Wndri Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join WNDRI Plus in the WNDRI app or on Apple podcast, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcast. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Sheppard. I'm joined by Modice Mouse.

Hi.

Oh, Modice Mouse.

You went with Rob.

Yeah, Rob and I went and saw him. Today, we have just one of the most adorable boys out there.

Out there.

Dominic Fyke. We both fell in love with him on Euphoria. That's right. He's a musician, a producer, and an actor. He was just impossibly good on Euphoria for having never done it.

And we get into it. There was some stuff going on. Sure.

He was juggling some things. Yeah. And he has a couple of different albums out, What Could Possibly Go Wrong: Sunburn, and a new mixtape out now called Rocket.

I love his music.

Wild childhood story, as you are about to Oh, man. Buckle up. Buckle up. Please enjoy Dominic Fike. How are you doing? I'm good. All right, brother. Welcome.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

My pleasure. Monica, I'm done. Nice to meet you.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah, no problem. Mind if I sit here?

That's your spot.

I've seen you sit here.

We're going to insist you sit there.

I have seen you sit. Yes. If we're checking facts, I sit there. In an interview, I sit here. So we may move around. Oh, facts.

Yeah, I did. Okay.

You're as cute in person as you are on television. You don't always know what you're going to get.

What do you mean?

You see people on television. They're super cute. You meet them in person, you're like, They're not as cute.

Personality-wise?

I don't know. There's some magic with a lens. I'll meet other people and be like, Wow, in real life, that person's unbelievably attractive.

Yes. It often, to me, goes the other way. People are more attractive in person, I think.

We love to think we're more attractive in person because we don't like how we look on camera. Us.

You and I. When people meet you, do they say one way or another?

Because that's a common thing for people to say, Oh, you're so much cuter in real life, or you're taller.

I see Instagram comments about people thinking I don't shower. Apparently, I look like I smell bad. You read dirty. Yeah, I read dirty. That's what people say.

Okay, well, we can confirm you don't smell. We can tell the world you don't smell.

That'll be the first myth we dispel today. That's right. What do you talk that up to? Do you think it's your wardrobe?

I take a long time to shower. I spend time showering. I'm a single man.

Sure. Then you really got to get in there.

There's no one waiting for the shower or waiting for me.

Oh, that's your point about being single. I was thinking more like you're on the market. You got to put your best foot forward.

Yeah, you got to really keep it clean. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think that women like it when I try to get all primped out. I think they prefer me more dirty.

Interesting.

I'm not shocked by that.

You have a mysterious vibe. And so hyper clean doesn't-I got a mysterious vibe? I think so.

Well, let me put it this way. I'm a child of divorce. All of my friends, their parents were divorced. Are all your friends' parents are divorced for the most part?

No, man. No. No, I grew up with a lot of people who had healthy, admirable parents who were all in high functioning relationships because a lot of rich people where I grew up, Naples, Florida. Sure. They were like model families. I feel like the model families changed. But for that point in time, when everybody was really trying to fit into that box and that middle class thing was dying out, that is what I experienced from my friend's parents.

I think maybe that's a testament to your self-esteem or not or your own security because I felt judged by other people. I needed to know everyone else was dealing with some shit or I got insecure in those situations. Like, Oh, this family thinks I'm trash.

You didn't have any of Yeah, I had that, but I was also trash. I was like, Yeah, you were pleased with it. You were owning it. The family's got a good read on me. It was cool, though, because the division between middle class and rich people and poor people, it wasn't so thick and palpable. It felt like you could slip into any one of those sections because I would hang out with a lot of people from... In my city, they call it In Town. A lot of people would call it Brown Town because minorities lived here. I grew up there and I had a lot of rich white friends because I like to skateboard, and I like Blink 182 and Sergeant Peppers and shit. Sure. But also whatever, slim stuff.

They have swimming pools and it's hot out. Exactly.

You need some friends in swimming pools. Exactly. A lot of snacks.

I know this game. You got to go somewhere after school to eat. Of course. Who's got the microwave pizza?

Yeah, we all hung out.

There wasn't a hard demarcation. Yeah. That's good. There wasn't like, Soches and- Soches, like from the outsider?

That's right.

Soches and gracers. Because I feel like my school was pretty- Hierarchical? It was in socioeconomically, especially I'm really in junior high. Where'd you grow up? Detroit area.

Okay. Motor City.

That's right, sir. When did you leave there? '95.

That's when I was born. I know that.

We have a lot of weird things. So you're about to turn 30. Gross. December 30th, right?

I can't say that here. We're both much older than you, so you don't get to say that here.

But I was doing all this math. I was like, Oh, I basically got sober exactly right now for your lifespan, because I got sober in September and I turned 33 days after you, January second.

I've been messing with... It's like a team of people called the Malone Collective.

Is it a cult?

It's a cult. Okay, great. I'm in a cult.

You're in a cult, too? I already know.

They help you with sobriety in whatever way you see fit for yourself. You can go there, do acupuncture, craniosacral. You can do somatic therapy. What's somatic therapy? Somatic therapy deals with your nervous system. It's the language of your nervous system. Whatever you can do to quell those waves that reach your window of capacity, you can quell that signal that-dysregulates you. Yeah, absolutely. It's super helpful.

It's super hard, though. Are you allowed in that program? What I think is cool about SLA, Sex and Love Addiction, if I understand it correctly, because I'm not a member, but my understanding of it is you create your own definition of sobriety. You have, I think it's called a ring. It's like, I cannot go to sex workers. I can jack off as much as I want. You know, whatever your thing is.

You create your own rules. That's a dangerous game, setting your own rules.

Well, yeah, but I think it makes sense because for some people, it's not an issue. They're not They're not addicted to pornography. They're not this, but they are that.

Yes, sex is so ambiguous that you have to create rules, like an eating disorder situation.

Some people are so, but they can't masturbate, but that's not for everyone.

Right, right, right.

Does this cult, and I'm one myself, I say it with a lot of respect. Do you get to define your own definition of sobriety?

You get to define your schedule. I think that we all have a mutual understanding of what sobriety looks like.

Well, it's getting different, I'd say. We're in a different era than we were in the for sobriety, where there are tons of people that are now sober that smoke wheat, or they would say they're sober. It's Kally sober. Yeah, Kally sober. Some people do ayahuasca, but they're dead sober. I think it's gotten more...

Ayahuasca is intense, dude.

Nuance, right? Yes, I've not done it. Have you done it? You have. Did you lean anything from it? Was it a breakthrough at all in any way?

It's all psychedelics. For me, it's like opening a map. You check where you're at. You have this big scope. It's like zooming out. You take that 30,000-foot perspective. On Asset, it's funny because you're like, Okay, I got it. Then you're like, We're good, right? The dude's like, No, there's six hours. But I got it, though, right now. Then you get tired of it. Then by the end of that, six hours, you don't even care about the message. You're like, I just want to get back to PlayStation and cigarettes.

Maybe that's the message.

I decided recently, it's all great. Cocaine's awesome. Sobriety's awesome. I don't want to go on this Kanye thing where he's like, I fucking love everything. But I do. It's fine. As long as you can handle it. My brother I just put him in this place called Cirque Lodge. Oh, yeah. I've sent people there. I've been there, too. It's great. I love him there. But I sent him there, and he's back now, and he's looking at me because for a while, I was just very loose with my definition of it, and I'm still, to this day, figuring it out.

Yeah. I have no idea. I think it can evolve.

Sometimes you evolve past where you're supposed to go, and it knocks you back. I think I'm finally at the point where when you fucking stretch out a rubber band and it's like, I'm like, right here.

Right. So vibrating, but not- Yeah, but not- Sketty Wampus.

Yeah. Alex, my brother, I just put him in there and he's back because he keeps looking to me like, How do I do this? What do I do? This was my thing while I'm glad I didn't grow up with a dad because I didn't have that dude to be like, What the fuck is going on? I've been that to him, and recently, I shut the phone on him. Let me just see if he figures it out because he'll text me in the middle of the night like, Yo, I need to buy a crib right now. I'm like, Actually, shut the fuck up and listen to your body, and then we'll see where you're at. He hit me. He's like, I want a beer today. I I'm like, Okay, cool. Thank you for calling me. Why you want a beer? He's like, You know, just go out to dinner like a gentleman. You don't want to be a gentleman. That's the great illusion. The great illusion of being a sexy drinking gentleman is so whack.

Sipping wine.

Yeah, but some people just can't do it.

I know, but it's this great illusion in the program, which is almost everyone has the same fantasy. Why can't I have a glass of wine and read a book? It's like, A, I never wanted to be the dude drinking a fucking glass of wine reading a book. I wanted to be jumping off the second floor into the pool. Facts. It's like, you're already pretending You have this fantasy that you don't even have just because it's a version that you think you can do.

For sure. You see people do it, and I guess it looks fun, but it doesn't really.

I'm all for what anybody wants to do. If they're suffering, I hope they'll figure out a way to not be suffering.

Do you feel responsible for him now that he's out in the world and he is calling you? Oh, yeah.

That's intense. I got a crazy situation with my family. When I got out of jail, I went into jail pretty homeless. I got a record deal while I was in jail.

We're fast 40 way too far. I know.

We'll hit it all. Okay. No, my bad.

Here. No, you're good.

I'm just thinking about the responsibility of a brother that just came out of.

Yeah. Let's start at the beginning. How old are mom and dad when they get divorced?

I don't know that they were ever married.

I didn't mean them. How old were you when they separated?

Oh, for as long as I can remember, maybe two.

Okay, I was three. We're on a very similar page. We are on a similar page. We both hit the stepdad lottery, it sounds like. That's a bad foreshadowing. When I interview someone and they're like, I love my stepdad, I'm like, Congratulations, man. It's hard to get a great one. Super In my experience.

It's crazy. I've had so many.

How many?

Too many. Just called my mom out.

Yeah, your mom's rad though. That's so many stepdads. I can tell she can take it. Yeah. From your earliest memory, they're not together. Yeah. Did he have children before he met your mom?

He told me that he did.

Because you came into the world with two step siblings, no?

Yes. Yes.

Yes, I did. Okay. I was like, if I got that one,.

So they weren't really in your life, though?

No, they were in my life. My step siblings, yeah. It's just lives ago, it feels like. But Janel, my older sister, and Alex, my older brother.

So they were dads?

They were the stepdads.

Oh, they were your mom's boyfriend's kids. After dad.

Yeah.

Okay, Roger.

I didn't really know my dad. My earliest memory of my dad is him catching me masturbating. Way too young, by the way.

What was his reaction?

Way too cool about it. He was like, What you doing, bud? When I think back on it, I'm like, damn, that's so weird that he took that approach with me.

Well, maybe he didn't want to shame you.

He didn't, but I'd rather he did. Now that I think back on I'm like, We weren't this hippy, comfortable family where everyone's jerking off in the living.

Here we are, young man.

You're doing the Lord's work. Dude, that wasn't it. So that bothers me. But I don't remember a lot of him. That was one of the only memories I have of him in me as a kid.

And I say this with love. He was junky? Yeah. And Mom, too?

Yeah.

Okay, so they both liked opiates, and had they met already liking opiates, or did they develop that together?

My mom doesn't really tell me much about them meeting. The only thing my mom has to say about my dad is that he's a piece of shit. Okay. And she changed my from Dominic Mills to Dominic Fyke. That's how much she didn't like him. Even my name pissed her off. To this day, I can tell when she sees something in me that reminds her of my dad and has to shove it down. Oh, wow. And that sucks. That's a bummer.

Because I will say my mom and dad, they got divorced, but my mom always loved my dad. I think when she sees him and me, she likes it. She's like, Oh, that's the guy I married. That's cool. That's a great experience.

I like that. That's rare, I think.

Yeah, probably. It's pretty rare. It'd be so interesting if you did hate your ex, which is so common because your kids look so much like you and act the same way. Yeah, constant reminder. So dad was gone. Dad resurface at 10: 00 at some point, we'll get to. But how functional was mom as an addict?

Pretty functional. She raised me and my brother alone. Now that I have a kid, I'm like, How did you do that? I have money and resources. I'm not on heroine. So I'm like, How did you do that? How did she do it? And I'm here because of her.

That's a really nice and positive takeaway. It is. Because you could feel differently. For sure. But she was incarcerated sometimes?

All the time. Okay.

How frequently?

Once every year, couple of years. She'd go away for a while.

For drugs?

For all types of stuff. Driving drunk or drugs.

Doing addicty shit, right?

Addicty shit, domestic shit, violence shit. My stepdad would beat the shit out of my mom all the time, and we would have to watch it. Then the cops would come and arrest my mom every time. I didn't even know what cops were or what the problem was. It was tough. I could have been like, I saw what happened. I could have been a good eyewitness account. I could have saved my mom maybe six months in jail.

Well, I'm sure the stepdad was probably terrifying.

Yeah, he was a big dude.

He had his own problems, I'm sure.

You know what? He was like an alcoholic.

Okay. Old fashioned. Old fashioned. Old classic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic. I'm all pissed off for no reason. Real stand-up alcohol, yeah.

He knew what you were getting. He'd come in the door and he was angry. That's how it went. Something always seemed to happen to him on the way home from the bar.

At least he was consistent.

Where he was disappointed when he got into the house. For sure. I, too, watched my mom get beat, and that created that thing. It fucking killed me to not be big enough to protect her. It then made me feel like a coward. I had all this shame about it. You should grab a knife. And then this oversize trigger for any bullying. I want to get in the mix way too much if anyone's getting victimized. Did you pick up any of these issues? Totally.

People would take that as like, Dude, this guy's got a big heart. Then you go around thinking like, Yeah, that must be it. I got a big fucking heart. Well, it's in the mix. Yeah, it's one of the things that makes a big heart for sure.

Yeah. The events were one thing, but the abuse I put myself through after those, that's rough. I don't like dudes as a result. I just, in general, I don't need to mean any dudes. I feel you.

Yo, you know what's crazy? I say this all the time to my manager.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Now we're talking. It's usually about work, and it'll a meeting with my agent. It'll be like, You got to go do this. I'm like, Who is it? And they're like, Dan or something. I just don't know my agent's name. I'm like, I don't really want to hang out with a dude today. It's not about gender. You have to talk to this dude. I don't text guys ever.

If they're in my house, that's when it's really... Like, Christian can invite over infinite females. There's too many people. It's too noisy, but I'm not unsettled. The second there's a day out of a kid that's getting picked up, I'm like, All right, who the fuck is this guy? You hear that shit? What's he planning to do?

I think that's pretty primal. That response.

That's what I wonder because you can't really have a different childhood to know, Am I just genetically wired this way? Totally possible. Or is it, No, a random dude showed up, and then the outcome wasn't great. So guess what? I don't look forward to random dudes.

Totally. I don't think anyone does. We had a joke going for a while. It was an ongoing bid. I was like, should we get some more guys here?

We can almost play football. Should we get a couple more salsas in the mix?

I got to love it here, but we should get a couple more fucking guys in here.

That'd make this really pop off.

I do think because Dax is in AA, he's accumulated a bunch of AA friends. Guys. Guys, yeah. Mostly guys. But they all prefer to be around women. I think there's a calmness maybe or a grounding that the men don't provide, that the women do.

I lost that for a minute, my feeling grounded with women. For the past six months, I think, I retreated to work. When you're in and out of relationships for a stretch of years and people are like, This is a relationship guy. Then you take that second and you're like, Okay, I need to be single. Then you have to talk with your friend. You're like, Yeah, I've been single for a minute. You know what? I'm really enjoying my time is being me. I'm single now. You do that for a while. I lost my feeling comfortable and connected around them because of that phase. I went into this phase of not dating and scarcely being around them.

You lost yourself.

But in a cool way, it wasn't in a negative way. Now I'm just so nervous and I admire the shit out of them. My mom used to have this friend named Candy. She was the first other woman You know your mom's your first girlfriend? So this was the first other girlfriend. I was just in a harem. It was me as a kid, like fucking QF in it. But this woman was that to me, like this tall, nurturing mom, girlfriend type of thing. And that's how women have become to me. Now, they all remind me of Candy. Now, women to me are like aliens, and I'm walking around and shaking hands with them. It's crazy.

Have you heard the song Candy by-Mandy Moore. Kristenristen's favorite. He's like a singer-songwriter, dude.

Oh, I remember.

Cameo? No, it's a man's name. I like sex in Candy. Is that how it goes? Here we go. Marcy Playground? This is incredible.

None of us can find it.

Let's call the boss. Who sing Candy? Your favorite.

Martin Sexton.

Martin Sexton. Do you know that? Okay, thank you. Yeah, I just got Sarah on the phone. All right, thank you.

Have you seen this ChatGPT shit with South Park? Have you been watching the new South Park?

I watched the first of the two Trump episodes, and what a mind-blowing experience.

This ChatGPT thing that they're talking about. Do you guys use AI at all? Chatgpt?

Yes.

What are they exposing? I want to know.

It's just like how fucking lame it is. For when people use them for everyday life, that's what it's useful for.

Like, how many ounces are in this?

Or just anything.

Yeah, I could have asked Chad about this. Oh, yes. Potentially, it would have known.

Yes, I use it as Google. I'm very much an old person in that.

It's just Google. I get it talking to it's easier.

Yeah. Have you heard the guy try to make it count to a million?

No, that's hilarious. It will not. Why?

Exactly. It's scary.

It's highly impractical. Sorry, she was Australian.

Oh, no. I was ribbed. The AI was Australian. We were just at lunch. The AI was- That was where my story was going to end about the women, damn. Anyway, it was a fucking map. We just went and ate at this place near here called All Time.

Oh, we love All Time.

You know the spots.

Look at this. Siren City over there. Oh, yeah.

Monies always over there.

There's a blonde girl that works there. We made eye contact multiple times.

Does she have blue eyes?

She does have blue eyes.

Like, very Pearson. Yeah, like Australian. I bet her name is Francesca. Francesca. I will pass along the message.

It's me, Dominic.

Wow. Reachable on Instagram, I hope. Of course.

She is beautiful.

She is gorgeous. I'm actually going to Jamaica in a week, and there's an open spot.

I got to see next to me on the plane.

First date, Jamaica. I guess also, I just am curious. I know what it's like to be the little brother in this scenario.

How many older brothers? Just one?

Just one. He's five years older. It's only now that I'm writing about my childhood where I recognize the amount of pressure that was on his shoulders. He was dealing with the same thing with mom, and then also, I'm supposed to be protecting this little boy. I am now understanding how insanely stressful that probably was for him.

It's funny. Your older brother probably thinks about it that way, too, though, for you, because I think about my younger brother, and I'm just like, I can't imagine having to live up to all this shit. Sometimes I feel so fucking bad, and sometimes I feel like crying. I'll be sitting alone and thinking about my family and want to literally just scream or cry just because there's so much you want to say, but you can't because you got to work through this, and they got to say what they got to say. And by the time they do, you probably don't even remember what you were going to say.

You feel like there's a bunch of healing out there that's not been done.

Yeah, there's been so much damage, I suppose.

I think what might be nice about your position is when you watch him struggle Again, I've had this with my best friend since he got sober. I have compassion for him. I can't really have for myself. And similarly, I wonder if you look at the fact that you had to send your brother to treatment, you might go, Oh, yeah, man, this is the outcome of what we dealt with. It's so obvious that that's what's happening for him. And maybe you can extend that to yourself.

It's funny you say it because it's harder to think about yourself in that perspective. You try not to.

I deserve anything bad that happened to me.

You try not to because you're taught from a young age not to. When kids do it and it's unregulated and you don't know the other side, parents worry that it's some form of narcissism. That way of is phased out. And so you cater to other people and you fill that void by worrying about other people.

Yes.

I never extend that care to myself or that courtesy or that grace. I've never, ever done it. And part of that, I think, makes me who I am and high functioning. And it's gotten me to where I'm at.

You're also 29. You got a lot of time to figure how to love yourself and not be mad at yourself.

I haven't figured it out. I just took my family to Big Sur. That was super nice. We were out in Carmel. I got this cabin. My nephews are good. They're playing. My brother's good. He's on the couch. His This girl's good. My son's okay. My mom's sitting telling me about the space in a song, like a Justin Bieber song, because my mom loves Justin Bieber.

Come on, who doesn't?

Shout out Justin. I was talking to her, and she's reveling in this space of a guitar, so between verses. It's not like we don't have light-hearted talks. For some reason, this one felt significant, this sentence. I love the space here. I think that was all she said. But for me, it felt like a point of departure. It was like, everyone's safe right now.

She does not have the weight of a bunch of other things.

She's so comfortable not worrying about babies or rent or food that she's telling me about an understated guitar solo in a pop album. For some reason, it hit me like I wanted to cry. I'm thinking, I made it to this point. It's always been a little bit stressful, but for some reason, I'm not living the way I want to. Like a piece of art like Prince would, these stories about these artists that you hear and you're like, Oh, it'd be easy to live like that. All you would have to do is make sure a couple of things are in check. I'm like, What's stopping me from doing that? You know when you're hanging out with someone you're interested in and you bring them around your old friends and your old friends, won't let you be a new guy.

They won't let you progress. Yes, they're threatened by who you might be with this person.

I have that friend in my head that never lets me be different or progress. It's always reminded me of something I did before, and that's why You're not able to do this. Your street cred was fucked back here. You're not this guy. But I'm like, What is this guy? So instead of being like, Okay, just can't do that anymore. I'm like, What is this? Why is this? I got a lot of shame, too, because of this narcissism that was created for me with my cell phone. It gave me narcissism. And a lot of people didn't have this opportunity to go look at themselves or how people are interacting with them. Right now, if you wanted to know someone's opinion of you, you can go get it. Yes. I could go get anyone's opinion of me. It's irresistible. That gives me shame because I'm constantly have this reference of myself when really there is no reference of yourself. If you wake up today and you want to be a fucking chair, it's all good. Today, I was like, I don't want this shame. I don't want this vanity, so I'm not doing it. And removing that, for some reason, coming back to it like a I don't want shame.

I don't want vanity right now. The sky is blue and my stomach is easier. I can talk. I'm not worried about a microphone in my face or a camera or the imprint for the rest of my life of the words. I don't give a damn now, and it's really good.

Have you seen the Jona Hill documentary with Phil Stutz?

No.

You should watch it. It's about him and his therapist. Oh, I know about it. Yeah, and he talks a lot about this. So that voice he would call the shadow. And the shadow is created to protect you at some point when you're younger, and then you outgrow it as your life evolves. The shadow is afraid you're going to leave it behind. So there's this weird practice of thanking your shadow, appreciating your shadow, inviting them to be a part of the new you, and then they fight back less. I know it's a pretty fascinating part of that doc.

Giving them form and humanizing emotions. Somatic therapy is big on that. It's helped me with a lot of that. Yeah.

For sure. Okay, so during all this chaos, you find... Is it Avalon Forest? Yeah. Tell me about Avalon Forest.

What's Avalon? My childhood was Park. The day would start and it's us four friends, and we're all sitting on a stoop, and I'm like, An idea comes, an adventure takes place. The Forest of Avalon was just one of those episodes of that season. We went to the beach, me and my four friends. We find some weed on a rock on the beach. Super rare. What a blessing. 14-year-olds. God wants you to consume. No one's around. We don't have to go through sketchy drug deal to get it, not get robbed, beat up. Police. It's just on a rock. We just start riding our bikes around because that was our mode of transportation. The bike, the pegs, the shoulders. God, I missed that. Anyway, we're riding around and my home was small and the problems were so present. You could feel it and you addressed them every time you walked in the room. Every time I left the house, it was like, Let's get into it. I wanted Alice in Wonderland. Every time. I wanted there to be some danger. We narrowly escaped, and the forest of Avalon was perfect for that.

You know why? Because our arousal setting was set way too fucking high. It takes a lot to wake us up.

Because you might think that if you're coming from chaos, all you want is peace. It's a hammock. Yeah, all you want. But it makes sense. No, that's not the idea of fun when you grow up with the chaos level at a One of my memoir so far is this field we've lit shit on fire in and we had a rope swing.

This is what I'm describing. What was it for you?

You just go out there and act like a fucking caveman.

Did you have a name for it? Because I had a name. It made it so much funnier.

No, we didn't.

It was just the forest of Avalon, the mystical forest Avalon is what we would call it. I would be laughing every time you said it and you'd hit the joint and call that and be like…

It wasn't a real place. It's just a place in your mind.

It was literally an undeveloped lot. It was just a lot that had not yet turned into a ritz.

Where you might be able to make your own society. Yeah.

With its own rules. Lord of the Flies. That's the deal.

I loved it. Possibility.

My dad was an addict, and I was like, I'm never going to do anything. And then that failed. But that was my initial game plan. I was like, I know what this does to my family. I'm not going to fuck with it. Did you have any reservations smoking weed or doing anything?

Around the time that it happened, no. But initially, yeah, because I saw my mom smoke cigarettes, and I found my mom doing drugs a lot, too. I would find heroine and just put it back. By the time I made it there, I was trying to just keep my hands from not sweating. If someone's like, Yeah, we smoke weed. That's what we do. I'm like, Damn right. That's what we do. And we fucking kiss girls, too.

Yeah, whatever things I'm supposed to be doing to be acknowledged as a boy.

What's that? We hate school?

Who's an asshole? Right there, an asshole.

It's just confirmation of your identity with people around you. We all did that.

So when did you start... Well, you started rapping at that point, too.

I did, but that was more for fun. We just started getting drunk. One of our friends Gus had a rich parents' situation in a huge house, and we would go and steal his mom's Kalua and fill the bottles back up. Freestyle in the car. It was this around the time when Currency was really cool. Lil Wayne was really big. The Drought Mixtapes or whatever they call them, no Ceilings, all that stuff was coming out. I had this Colombian friend named Jibron. Shout out to Jibron, who's an idiot. Legitimately an idiot. Sure. This guy was only into Lil B and pissing people off, like teachers, just calling them slurs that they didn't know what they meant because it was a rap song. This kid was funny. We would just sit in the car and freestyle all night. And then one time we're drunk as fuck, and he turns to me. He's like, Dude, you're too good at this. And took the mic over and they just started doing fart bars again. And then from that moment, something did flip there.

Where you're like, Oh, I want to pursue this.

I was like, How do you Why does not see the paths in the writing? Sometimes they would sing something and do a flow, and I'd be like, and I expected them to hit it there, and they left. I'm like, Well, no, this is the right way. I think that was the reason I started making music because there was a period of time where we used their music and Jack Johnson music or Chilly. I hadn't heard a guitar so long, like five years. So I'm sitting on house arrest. I'm like, Well, shit. I guess I could make it.

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, If You Dare. The town of Agde in France is famous for sun, sand, sea, and sex.

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Well, let's talk about how do you get to house arrest? Because yes, this is great. Now, the story really takes off.

We were having a going away party for my older brother. I was living with my older brother at this point. I'm homeless. My mom's in jail, so I'm on his couch, and I'm just doing little sessions with people because at this point got a name in my city from just rapping. So people are paying me 200, 300 bucks to do a verse, which is horrible. But back then, you're going to give me money to eat. Of course, I'm going to do whatever the fuck you want. I'll sing and dance, too. I'll definitely rap. So then I get into this lifestyle where I'm in and out of the studio and partying a lot, and so is my little brother. When my mother was in jail, for a while, we tried to hold on to the house. So he starts car hopping, stealing from cars. We get carbines and shit and sell them. Ipads, whatever. Sometimes you find 10 grand of cash, and he's paying the rent for so long, and then he goes to jail. At what age? Like 16, some shit. Okay. He's in there for a while, and then he gets out, finally. Five days out of jail, my older brother, now my stepbrother, is He's going to jail as well?

No, he's just going away.

He's leaving on his own cognizance.

He's just going to travel.

That's where he should start the interview. He's going to Miami.

I think he's going to California to pursue a rap career. We're all excited for him. My brother is there and he's drunk, and a cop pulls up for a noise complaint. My brother starts dipping out. He's on probation. Once you get out, you're not supposed to do anything stupid in the first five days. I know that's a rule for some reason.

Drinking underage probably isn't a good look.

Oh, my God. Here we go. This is awesome.

This is awesome. Okay.

Dude, I shit you not. He runs away. It's an apartment complex. There's a nearby lake, and they have these reeds sticking out of the fucking lake. Yes. Do you know where I'm going with this?

Yes, without a paddle. Yes.

Great. He did that. He performed. What did he do?

He performed. It was like some cartoons originally. It was like you go underwater and you can't breathe and they're shooting at you. So you take a reed and you breathe through it. Use it as a snorkel. And we did it without a paddle. But it's like a cartoon trick. Here we go, real life.

Yes.

Because he saw it without...

Oh, my God.

We used to watch it religiously.

So full circle.

He's doing that. So the cop starts chasing my brother. I'm chasing the cop the entire time, too. So at one point, the cop notices me next to him. I'm trying to tell Alex, Yo, slow down. The cop's not going to do anything. It's fine. I got you. It's good. The only thing I can think of is trip the cop.

Keep the cop from your brother because he's going to go back to jail.

Keep the cop a little or it's just like, whatever works. Yeah. He pulls out a taser. I'm thinking this is a fucking gun. Immediately, my instinct, and I knocked this dude over. Oh, man, I knew I fucked up. I saw him be embarrassed. You know when a grown man gets fucking embarrassed?

It's dangerous. Yeah, it's not good. And he's a cop. You're like, he didn't get shit.

He fucked me up, boy. Then he put me in that car, and then I went to jail.

Then you got assaulting an officer charge. Yeah. Okay, and then you get house arrest. How long was that supposed to last?

It's supposed to be, I think, a year.

And then how did you fuck up house arrest? Cocaine.

Okay. Crazy. So house arrest really enabled me to focus because I had just been running around. I'd been making music in there, but it was for features. It was transactional. None of it was real art. None of it was face to face with any songwriting. I really hadn't even thought about a stanza in months prior to this. I finally get on house rest. I met my computer. Actually, there was these girls, shout out to Bayly and Kelly, but they just let me live at their house because they liked me.

And you're cute as fuck. Yeah, they're like, You're fucking so cute.

It's this cute face in our apartment.

Yeah, they let me live with them. I just started making music with them. I had a girlfriend at the time, and I used to play guitar for her. I hadn't played in years, but she bought me a guitar Remember when you used to play guitar for me? I'm like, Yeah. So I start playing the guitar again. And then I'm like, Shit, I'll make a mixtape with a guitar, though. This time I'll sing instead of rap. And maybe this will be for girls. Turns out it just sparked my entire career. That's all I do now. I hardly rap.

Yeah, it is for girls. It is. We all like it.

It's working.

I have a question really quick. How do you feel, I'm sure you've told your story many times, when people show pity, what does that do to you? Are you like, Yeah, that makes sense. People When people say, Oh, or are you like, No, it's fine. Don't feel bad for me.

Yeah, I think I told the story enough times at this point. I've seen all the reactions. Some of them surprise me. Some of them are comforting to me. Sometimes pity is good. Sometimes you want it. Sometimes when you're telling your story and you're in Europe and you're hungry, you want something to eat, and this lady's asking you about it and you tell her that and she pitties you, she puts a little bit more cheese on that thing.

Sure, it can work for you. Yeah.

Because I can imagine, I feel multiple times in hearing this like, Oh, man.

Don't you feel like I got to take care of this? Yeah. There's that. I bet there's a lot of gals attracted you that are wanting to take care.

That wanting to take you in. There's a lot of them. Yeah. How do you like it? Because you don't love it. I don't like it. No.

You don't like it. I don't want anyone to take care of me.

But you do.

Yeah, secretly. Don't tell anybody, though. Yeah. Interesting. I want you to like me and not like me at the same time.

Not like me for the reasons that I want you to not like me. Exactly.

There's a lot of active contradictions. Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking house arrest. Oh, yeah. So you're in there focusing. That's doing wonders for your songwriting But I'm in a room all day, and I'm trapped all day.

And even now, that's my job. I know that it's healthy to step away.

Yeah, isolation is-It's a bitch.

I start using everything I can that has a short span in your stream. Coke is like three days, yeah?

Is that what it is?

I don't know. When I was looking it up, they were like, if it work out, did I do this?

I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack. This may surprise me. I didn't hold any employment.

You know, it's funny, me neither, but I think it's something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed is you guys discuss the shelf life of drugs in your system.

I didn't know weed last for a month. I didn't know that one.

Everyone knows that. Every guy knows that.

Yeah, and meth lasts a while in your system, too. But I don't know the coke.

Coke is one of the quicker ones. So I'm doing coke. Yeah.

Because you might take a piss test. I guess you are on house arrest.

That's true. I'm bored. The girls are always at work. Their mom lived there, too, but she's always at work. She's trying to get me to go to school. She's like, Dombi, you need to do something with your life. I'm telling her I'm making a mixtape. Kid with a face tat smoking dope doing coke in her fucking department talking about a I'm not necessarily investing on that startup. No one gave a damn. No one gave a damn. Then I got called in. It's right as I finish the last song on the mixtape, I'm up doing coke that night, and the dude calls me at 7 AM. He's like, Dominic, another drug test. I'm thinking like, Oh, I just did it. It's probably not even in there yet.

Oh, okay.

I walked into this shit like, What's up, Pete?

Give me the cup, motherfucker. He gives me the cup, and I just failed. He put cups on me right there. I'd never been so in this belief. I was like, really?

We thought you had it all.

The coke will do that, won't it?

That's the great thing about coke. It makes you optimistic. That's why it's a relief.

Then I went to jail for a while. During that time in jail, I released the mixtape.

Yeah, so how was the time in jail? You were in county. It was awesome. It was great. I'm not even kidding.

I had a good time in jail.

Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are. I'm a little worried about how cute you are.

Well, that's scary.

I know. I hate to perpetuate a stereotype.

No. Okay, so it's not really like that. I'm a little nervous. Okay, tell us. There's this thing called PETA, PETA, RETTA, something like that. It's some four-letter acronym that is against prison rape.

Okay. So we got some action in there now. We got some protests.

It's huge. It's like Dare, but if they kept doing Dare. It was a huge nationwide. It worked. I had a full long hair. I was like, 20 in there. It was a piece of ass.

There we go. You're a piece of ass. I was. Call what it is.

I was. I was in a violent block. Because of my charge, my Bunky murdered family. Okay. Hilarious stuff. The funniest guy.

Well, if you can't laugh about murder in your family, then it'll be tragic.

What can you laugh about? If you can't laugh with them because you killed them all. Oh, my God.

Wait, how long were you in jail? Like a year.

I did have one question. We blew past. Did you watch Florida Project?

No, I never watched Florida Project. I was never into people making movies about my town because they always did it wrong. I just didn't want to be let down and pissed off with the Florida Project.

I don't think you will be with that. I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Anora, so I went back- Nora's great. And watched Florida Project. Florida Project is better than Anora, and I love Anora. Florida Project is fucking-That's a crazy take.

It's awesome. Sean Baker is amazing. Oh, he did Florida Project? Yeah.

You did Florida Project.

Okay, we love Sean Baker, though.

Yes, and it has this impossible thing that kids have. Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids. You're like, How did they get this to happen? It's magic.

The first time you saw Dakota Fanning, you're like, What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, I am Sam.

That movie, I am Sam.

I'm Sam. I'm Drew Barrymore ET.

Et. You piss hot, you go to county, you release the music. Now, this is so improbable. By the time he gets out, there is a bidding war to sign you, and you sign at Columbia for $4 million? Mm-hmm. What? I mean, this is a lot of money. This is up there with them.

Kehe Kwan, yeah.

Kehe Kwan. Yes. He's on a refugee ship. Oh, wow. Within a year, he's flying first class.

The Steven Spielberg.

To be an Indiana Jones. Wow. Yeah. Wow. So yeah, this getting out of prison to a $4 million contract, how do you compute I don't know.

It was the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing. I'd never been a part of anything like that.

Because it was big on SoundCloud, right? You had put it all on SoundCloud.

Yeah, I put it on SoundCloud. And then my manager, Reid, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick because he sees it starting to garner attention. We had a couple of suits reach out. We'd never been in contact with anybody like that. I remember listening to music for five years at this point. These dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail. No. This dude that's like, Hey, Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire? I'm homeless.

I'm I'm not doing this for a penny under four million. You can take three million and shove it in your...

What had happened was my mom is in jail, and my dad's in jail at this point. Both are facing 20 years because this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers. My stepdad, Sean's a heroin trafficker. We're all chilling at one point, and we've been doing this for years, living in hotels selling code. It worked out. It put me through school. Then all the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses. Everyone's taken to jail. Marshalls, it's in the news. I'm seeing them both. I'm like, Oh, man, they're fucked. 20 years each. So I'm in jail, too. My sister's up for adoption because of this. My brother's in jail. I need to get my sister out of adoption. I need to get my mom out of jail, and I need to get my stepdad out of jail. Each lawyer for them is 200 grand. Then to get my sister out, I'm still paying for that to this day. I'm thinking about my position, and I'm homeless at the time. I need some money.

You're in jail yourself.

This is my work that you all are buying. All this is in my head. It wasn't that I came up with four million. I had never seen money over $1,000 So motherfuckers are like, $200,000. I'm like, That sounds like a not real number, I guess. Cool. I'm not pushing it up. Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number. And then I didn't even know this was a thing. I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number. This motherfucker goes with a bigger number. I'm like, Wow, I feel like I'm a battery.

You're in Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire.

Yeah, dude, that makes me so funny. We get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia building or the Sony building, because at this point, Rob Stringer is involved, the dude who owns Sony. He's like, Who's this motherfucker? Everyone's throwing this money around. Who's this guy? He comes to meet me. We're in a meeting. At this point, I know how to do this money thing, the bidding thing. I'm in the room and I'm playing them songs, and they're like, Oh, these are so good. Then I'm like, Yeah, well, you never know. I'm about to walk out, and Rob Stinger is like, So what? Are we doing this or not? Because he's a businessman. I respect him so much. I'm like, Well, I don't know. Ron's like, Maybe we could. He's like, No, no more millions. Are we doing this right now? I'm like, Yeah, I'll do it right now. We just sign it, and we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop. It's me, Rob, and a couple of my friends. Then I go into the bathroom, and I'm like, Yeah, I got to piss because of all the champagne.

I'm looking at my phone, the bank account, and I see the number jump at the urinal. Then from then on, I just don't remember. It's been seven years of...

Wow. You initially just blew a ton of money on lawyers. Yes. Were they successful?

Only one. My father still in jail to stay. Mom got off. Crazy probation. I was able to get her custody of my sister back. Move her out here. She hasn't worked a day since.

Oh, this is great.

It's a movie.

It is a movie. I got to piss, and then I want to talk about you. I got to piss, too.

Okay, you guys go potty.

How'd it go? Thick, ropey stream.

We get it all out.

Or weak, thin? Pretty weak. Sure.

My friend Stefan was walking by the bathroom when I was 17, and I was peeing, and he was just like, Weak. That has stuck with me for nine years.

We've talked about this. I think guys, when they go into a toilet and they think other people can hear them, they think people are evaluating how big their dick is by how powerful the stream is.

Well, it sounds like they are.

Wait, have you ever done that thing to yourself? Sure.

I thought, Oh, that guy's wrestling a hog in there. Let's do that. That's a I hope you can keep it in the toilet. But you're right, it's almost counterintuitive because really, if you had to pass the urine through 18 inches of sazizh, that would slow it down. Oh, that's interesting. It's almost like we have the backwards notion. But it really is like- If it was just a hole coming out of your top of your balls, it'd probably be like...

I mean, it's how big the urethra is. Surely, surely. Not having nothing to do with this.

But also how much pipe it's got to pass through. It's going to lose momentum. Unless it's like the early mining hydro projects where it's like the urethra is big at the top and gets narrower, then it would increase the pressure.

We'll look into it for the fact check, as we mentioned earlier.

But I think it's a common. Because I went and listened to a lot of the podcasts, and actually went far back because I just put it on to sleep, too.

Oh, okay.

It's good to sleep to. By the way, that's awesome.

I'm with you.

The media that you can sleep to.

Yeah, I agree.

To me, priceless.

That's biographies for me.

That's biographies for me. That's invaluable.

You ever listen to the podcast, Come Town? No. Are you guys familiar with the podcast? C-u-m town? Come Town.

Oh, wow. I like the title.

Tell me more. Mick Mullen, Stabro's Hot Kiss, and Adam Friedland. They have since disbanded, but they were the originators of, to me, the Comedy Podcast.

Oh, cool. Okay. It was called Comtown. That's a big slang.

It was just horrible shit. Nonstop racism I'm like, horrible.

Oh, wow. Okay, so the original manosphere.

Horrible. Yeah, but now it's different, the manosphere.

Well, also, I heard you say in an interview that Florida has a different sense of humor than LA. You can go a lot harder.

But now the world is taken. Everyone can say retard now. Everyone likes to say it.

It's turned back.

Yeah, people are like...

People say that now. That's why they've been saying in South Park, they're like, Everyone says it now. Carmen's walking around with his shirt and says, Woke is dead because he's sad he doesn't have anyone to oppose anymore. That's how I feel now.

Sure. People are confused. No What ends? What's up? Was it liberal to say this or conservative?

I miss it. Stay in your lane. Play your role, dude. That's a bad boy now.

Okay, so- $4 million appears in the bank account.

Yes. You spend a lot of the money immediately on your family. That's lovely. Then you have your debut studio album in 2021? Yeah. Three Nights was huge. That's streamed a billion times. For sure. That's their first big hit. If I were you and I had been in jail and these people start flying to see me, I would have the most impostor syndrome possible. They're fucking up. I'm not worthy of flying here.

At this point, I felt pretty like I'm in jail. I felt like fucking Al Capone or something. I'm like, this is the least impostor-y I've felt.

In jail, right. Because you're like, I'm a piece of shit and I'm where pieces of shit belong.

You're like, I'm really doing it. I went all the way with this thing.

People said this is where I'd end up, and here I am. They were right. No, but the notion that I would be worth $4 million investment, given your track record, would have been overwhelming pressure for me.

The whole time in my mind, I'm like, White people are crazy. What the hell? The first mail, I'm like, You're fucking hearing this shit, mom? What are you talking about?

These white people are nuts.

I'm like, You guys are nuts. I don't know what you're talking about.

So did that get in the way of you being creative at all? Feeling like, Oh, my God, these guys just bet 4 million on me. I'm never going to have a hit that's going to pay this off.

Back then, that was my thought, but really, it fueled so much. The older you get in this industry, you start looking for somebody to jumpstart your shit. You're never using your own phones to pay for your shit, first of all. But back then, When receiving money like that, I didn't realize it was like jet propulsion. It really pushed me into this thing. I'd never seen snow before, too, when I got out of jail and they gave me all this money. So I'm like, let's go get a house in the snow. So I go to the highest point in Colorado. So I started thinking like how Led Zeppelin and shit, how they made albums, they would go out and retreat. And I'm like, Well, I'm a rap artist, but I just made this rock album, and now people are talking to me about my baselines and about my writing. Maybe I'll just, boom, go into that mode.

You're trying to figure out what to double down on, right?

Yeah, where to double down. Yeah. So I'm like, Well, let's go see Snow. So we go to Brecken Ridge, I get cab, and I bring all my friends that are producers, and it's a fucking mad house.

In a good or a bad way?

In the best way. I hired one of my friends to be a chef. My best friend, Max, his mom died when he was young, and he had his dad, who was good dad, but absent a lot of the time. I was homeless at this time. Whenever I would come to Max's house and we would need food and our parents wouldn't be there, he would cook us up something. He would go into the fridge and say, Oh, here, I could whip us up something like this. When I get my money, and he's my best friend at the time, I'm like, Just come chef for me. Come chef for the guys. Cook, cook on some very sweet stories. That's what he does. I'm taking all my other friends as producers, but we didn't realize the altitude thing.

That can use it to great thinking. Oh, my God.

We're up there drinking whiskey, wine.

The hangover is at altitude or something else.

Oh, my God. Also, you don't stop to think about your nose. At one point, I wake up and I'm like, I can't breathe. We're supposed to be recording an album. I have to sleep with six humidifiers on me. I would wake up soaking wet every morning and go down and record, get drunk. Turns out this album was actually one of my favorite albums to listen to now.

Well, all these things work for a while until they don't work. You're so right. You don't do them over and over again because they didn't work initially. For sure. Yeah, all this stuff is like, you get hammered. Oh, I can talk to girls. That worked out great. I now don't have social anxiety. That's cool. I did this and I stuck out for myself. All these little things you build while it's positive. So that album does really well. And then I want to know what it's like you end up singing on a Bieber song.

Shout out Justin again. Second shout out of the pun.

Yeah, I think he deserves it. Yeah, of course. He does. Something else.

I hadn't done any features with anybody, and I still don't really do features. I think the only features I've done is like Ramy Wolf, Paul McCartney, and Justin Bieber.

That's pretty solid. How did you get approached? Does he call you? How does he know about you?

Okay, yeah. I'm in Antigua in rehab.

Eric Clapton. That's where I sent my best friend Aaron. For real? Crossroads.

Yeah, I was at Crossroads. Nice. When is this?

What year is this?

When is this? When is this? When is this? When is this? When is this? Yeah. How do you end up in Crossroads?

I was dating this really nice Jewish actress lady. I love her so much. Her name is Diana Silvers. She was amazing. We were dating for a while, and I...

I already know the answer.

You already know what happens, right?

You cheated. Yeah, okay. You cheated, and then what happened.

And then she said, You need to go to rehab. And I'm like, It wasn't me. It was the drugs that I'm on. Go to rehab.

Not true and not true.

Not true and not true. Both not true. It's funny talking to you because you care of the bullshit. That's funny. So yeah, I'm in cross-reaching.

This is where the program works, really. Yeah, it's your course.

I don't have my phone because they don't let you have your phone. But apparently, he DMs me. My manager calls me because you get the phone once a week or something, and I'm on the fucking jail phone.

Earning your swimming rights.

It was COVID, actually. I went during COVID. So did Aaron.

When Aaron was there-What is Aaron? Aaron's my best friend from childhood, and he was there in 2019, Thanksgiving to January first, 2020. You guys just miss each other?

Probably. It's hard to catch each other. Nobody really stays at those. No one's ever- He did a full month and a half.

I was proud of him. He accepted the advice to stay longer, which I was happy about.

Good. Which no one ever does. No one does.

No one ever does. Okay, so you're at Crossroads. There was this cheating event. Did you yourself think, I have some substance abuse issue? Were you there yet or no?

No, because my parents were drug dealers. I had a young age, they're giving me drugs. When my mom finds drugs, she gives me more drugs. It's like, I didn't know what normal was. As far as I'm concerned, all these normal people don't have as much money as me at the fucking time. I'm like, God, what the fuck is that mean?

Yeah, this is complicated. I'm doing it wrong, but it seems to be working pretty well. It's working all right. Okay, so he DMs you. How do we think he found you? He just heard- Haley.

Oh, Haley Bieber.

He was like, Yeah, Haley's been listening to... Which is always my point of entry as somebody's girlfriend. That's right.

It's so funny.

Same, my friend.

That's this show, too. That's how we get any guy as somebody's wife or girlfriend.

Of course. The 10% that resist hate our guts. They'll join in. I think it's more common to go, Fuck this dude. Oh, he's been molested. He's honest about it.

Oh, what a stuff.

Okay, so she loved it.

She loved you.

She had been playing it for him, and he was like, I've been drumming to it for the past month. Why don't you come by and do something? I'm telling him right now, I'm in rehab. And he's like, oh, that's cool. I know that he's dealt with so much. Yeah. Dude, he's the coolest guy also. Let me just say that. Oh, please do.

Yeah, I don't think anyone knows we had this faux fight with him in the media, Chris and I. What? With Justin? Years ago.

I'll patch it up right now. Call him.

Years ago, he was renting a house in this neighborhood. And when he was renting that house, the paparazzi were out in front nonstop for him. But guess what? If he wasn't around, they'd pick us up because fuck it. They're just there. They're there. So it upped our paparazzi interactions a lot. I think I complained once in an interview that Bieber fucked up our whole scene by moving behind us. But I wasn't mad at him. It's not his fault. That got perpetuated into a little thing.

Did he think you were really mad?

I think maybe he thought that for a minute because then he to respond.

Well, imagine being the dude that everyone's like, he's a lesbian, he's a vulcan, he looks like Ellen for years. Anything that pokes you is probably like, well, fuck him then.

I completely understand. But I've since spoken very favorably about it. He did DM me once. Interesting, but I missed it by two years. I didn't realize you could look at your DM. He's not good at DM. Anyway, I think he's radical.

He's sick. He just dropped an album. Oh, he did? Like last night or today. Oh. Swag, too, is what it's called.

When you look at him, what quality do you go like, Oh, that's the thing I need.

Well, I say this all the time. When we work together, I finally get out of rehab, we go to Hensen. We're in the studio.

This is the Muppets Hensen? Yeah, right here. What was it originally? A&m?

Precisely. Look at you. I'm actually with the girl that I was staying, the Diana Girl, we're back because I'm back from rehab.

You did what you were supposed to do.

I did what I was supposed to do. She's my ex-girl for now if you can-Yeah, we're gathering.

We're not rolling out our rekindling. Life is long.

She's there, which was insane. You should see how girls look at Justin. Even if they're your girlfriend. It was crazy to see. I was like, damn, do I do that to people ever?

You were doing to Haley. That's true. It was a different time. Exactly.

This is a push. Her eyes turned black like a shark smelling blood.

Good for him.

What I do admire about him is he is an athlete with it. When he shows up, it's like seeing Michael Jordan or Kobe step on a court. He's warming up. I mean, I don't dance, but this motherfucker can pop and lock. So when I write, it's just like, Leave me alone. And I'm seeing it over to myself in my head, and I'm going to need some time. Everybody's got to do your own thing. Don't look at me. Act like you're doing something, even if you're not doing something. Probably don't do anything because it's going to be too loud to interrupt me, but act like you are. Yeah. He's there and he's like, Dom, you know what? I think you should do this harmony. He'd be like, Huh? Hit the harmony. Then I would just be like, okay, I guess. Because some artists you work with, they're just like, Man, it's all good. We just do whatever. It's music. It's a free love. Bullshit. This man took a jersey off. I was like, . I was like, Whoa.

Time to get to work. I love that.

It's still love for it. It wasn't like it's transactional.

I'm not a musician, but on the outside, I can see where there are a handful of people who their voices are so great. I don't know a lot about Sinatra, but I think everyone wrote his music. That's not his thing. Sure. But you start to see Let's just say Timberlake leaves his boy band and he ends up with the Neptune, and that first album is what it is, and it's incredible. Then you wonder, I wonder how much is Justin and how much is the Neptune? Then over time, it starts to surface, oh, no, it's them clearly, right? Because that's Bieber. No matter who he works with, which he works with a lot of people, the quality ends up being there, which leads me to believe, yeah, he has some work ethic.

He does have that. In the people that do sing and not write their own songs, you would expect that quality to always be present, but it's not. And he has it in... What do people say? In spades. That's what they say. Yeah, so much of it.

I'm impressed. Okay, so you work with him. Then euphoria comes. How do you get approach for that? And had you ever considered acting?

I never considered acting at all. I didn't want anything to do with acting. I was doing a triple J performance called Like A Version, where you have to perform another artist's song. So I performed a Kleros song. But what I did was I wore a wig because I was like, I'm a girl. I was also just high as fuck. So I was just like, whatever.

Okay, so the rehab had not stuck. Yeah. Okay. Great. Good to know where we're at.

It did erase the cheating, but it didn't cure the addiction. Okay, great.

Every time. So I started playing that. And I guess one of the casting agents for Euphoria, her name was Jennifer Vendetti. She saw that video and was apparently called me. I didn't know what Euphoria was. I didn't know it's this big fucking TV show. I don't know who Sam Levenson is. I don't know who fucking even Barbie or Zendaya or any of the girls. The night before, I was reading about some actor who did his staying fucked up or something. Maybe it was a week before. I stayed up all night with this girl drinking whiskey, taking shrooms. I show up to the audition or the read, beyond fucked up. I'm just laughing at Sam, and everyone's laughing at me because I'm just laughing at them. I'm like, What is this script? I'm throwing shit around and calling Sam like, You're wearing a fucking dress, dude, talking to Sam because he was wearing a dress. And I was like, 30 minutes late. I'm like, Can you do this? And I was like, I don't know, probably. And we start reading it, but then the words start jumping around on the page. I was like, I can't do this script.

And they were like, Dom, just go get rest. And they were so mad at me. I remember they called my agents and we're like, This kid's never doing anything in Hollywood again, ever. We're so mad. But then I guess I posted something like a month later that was like, It's not about what you do. It's what you do moving forward. That really is going to define. And it wasn't in reference to that, but I think that Jennifer saw that. And I think I was living in a different way at that point. I was trying to They called me back. It was a year later, and Sam had written a part for me. Sam had rewritten this character that I showed up to read, but he wrote it with the qualities of the guy you saw show up. He writes this guy that's half his character and half the dude that showed up that day. And then I was honest with him. He has a meeting with me. He's like, Okay, I know that you get fucked up, obviously. You have some problems. I have those problems, too. We can get someone to help you. But you have to do this.

You sign a five-year contract. It's just a formality. But he's like, I need to know that you're not going to fuck me on this. I was like, Brother, got you. This time, I'm not understanding the stakes still of this show. And then we get into filming it. You find out real quick when you see that budget.

When you show up and there's 20 semis there. Yeah.

And then you meet all the people, too, and you see actress really take this shit serious because I'm here, I'm just doing another whatever.

Which is like a self defense mechanism. If I suck, yeah.

I told you I don't care. Yeah, it's so true. That was definitely what I felt.

Did you feel Pretty Natural pretty natural pretty quick? Because you hit the ground running. You were so good immediately. I was rooting so much for you guys.

Such a good character.

I love I wanted he and ru to be together.

The song? Did you write that song?

No. Labyrinth wrote that song. Sam had asked me to go write a song, and I wrote one. I mean, I had overdubs, and I didn't know what he meant.

Something that couldn't be done in a room.

He was saying, Write a song on the guitar. So then I get this song Labyrinth makes, and it's gorgeous. I was like, I'll sing that.

Yeah, I was going to say, was it hard to admit? Like, yeah, this is pretty soft.

It's such a beautiful song. It's better than that. The song that I wrote for it is still good, though. I listen to it sometimes.

Okay, great.

Well, I heard Pharrell getting interviewed by somebody at some conference, and I was relieved to hear that Happy. That was like his 16th attempt at the theme song for that movie.

Yeah, Happy Feet.

For Happy Feet.

Happy was a theme song for Happy Feet?

Wait, this is not sounding right.

No, it wasn't for Happy Feet.

That was a theme song for them?

Oh, it's for Despicable Me. That one? If you feel like.

Yeah, they hired him to write it. This is the truth.

Yeah. This is a pick one of me, too.

Okay, got it. So the first album, he wrote all these hits, goes away to do the second one, and every time he submits, they're like, That's not it. I've been there. It's such a relief, I would imagine for people to know that Pharrell sometimes has to stand up at the plate 16 times. And that's why he's Pharrell. He didn't go, Well, no, I'm better than this.

The end of that story, I think, is that he basically said, No more. No more. I've done it this many times.

But he came up with happy, and he's like, Well, this is it.

This is it, and we're not doing it again.

And then specifically, he told the President of the Studio, I need you to drive around in your car and listen to it. Yeah, that's right. Something about driving around in the car. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

You realize when you work in music, all these dudes are super normal dudes, and they're just like you and I. This Danny Elfman dude is just like the Omar Apollo dude sitting next to me. The only difference is this dude was down to do 15 tries of it for 15 plus years every day. That's the only thread that I find connecting all the people that I admire. It's not that this person drinks this type of water, or this person wakes up in shit's excellence genetically. It's that this person just didn't fucking stop. That's so true.

I heard you say that you were almost kicked off the show a bit for your drug use. What was the consumption at this point?

Doing a lot of coke and a lot of weed. It's really good. Great stuff.

Smelt so good.

It must be hard for you, though, because if everyone's like, You're doing so good, and you work, that character is incredible.

How then What's broken?

Why am I fixing something?

Again, same with you go to jail and then you get $4 million. How do you right size that and say, No, I really need to get my act together because your act is working?

Yeah, but it was like if a dude gets a cool cut on his arm and then they put a bandaid on and the bandaid is like Transformers. I was like, What do you mean? I'm doing great. Transformers bandaid. But then you take it off and there's a fucking gash in your arm. That's what it was. All this money, this is a temporary fix for something that I need to actually go and heal. I would be better about going on camera super fucked up. I would space it out. My weed would be like 50 minutes. I'd put eye drops in. The thing about getting fucked up on set was people imagine that I'm just constantly talking to Sam and Zendaya and Hunter fucked up. I was in my trailer bored all the time. You fucking know, it's insufferable. You're in there all day. Then at the drop of it, you got to be there. That was the funny part is when you are in the middle of doing something and they're like, You're on at five.

You're like, Mac, mac. You were signed on for a season 3. Is there a season 3 of that show? I don't You never know.

Yeah, I actually just did some of it.

There is a season 3.

Yeah, they're filming it. I was just talking to her. She's filming it.

Oh, I was afraid.

No, they're going hard.

Oh, good. I love that show.

Rosalia's in it, I know.

It's such a good show.

It's such a harrowing show. A good friend of mine is on that show, Dane.

Eric, he's going through some... I saw some shit about it.

Yeah, it's heartbreaking.

It's crazy because when I met him, he's like a superhero.

Yeah, totally. Hardbreaking. Okay, when you sang to her, I know.

People hated that scene. What? Who did it? You didn't see me get roast on the internet for that?

No.

The whole internet just blew up about me doing that. What were they mad about? They were just like, Why is this guy singing? I'm trying to see the rest of the character's arcs Because it was at this point when everything was imploding. Yeah, the culmination of all this drama is happening right now, and then it cuts to me being like, You want to hear some shit I wrote?

No, it's beautiful. They thought it was too time consuming. Yeah.

Which just goes to show where we're at as humans.

Yeah, that's upsetting. You know what it more goes to show? It's like every conversation is happening, and you have to find the ones that are bad, really. Because that in our world, no one thought.

I've never even heard that. Oh my God. I was blown away. And also, that's so dumb because it's also about her. It's a very human moment. We wouldn't want to skip that.

No one was trying to see that. They were trying to see animal kingdom, the girls fighting with the hair. They wanted to see that. Have you seen the user interface? Have you seen Amazon lately? You ever just go into any streaming service? Do you see what it is? It's just like, Yacht murder. This person was discarded in the back of a fucking Popeye's, and they used her as a rug for eight months. Here's the doc about it. That's all it is. I love it all. That's where you know where we're at as humans. Before, it was Charlie Chaplin, like slipping on banana peels.

We all grew that. We needed something more radical. Well, I can't be the first person that would compare you to him, but Mac Miller. A lot. That's got to be a tremendous compliment now.

Yeah, it hurts, though, because he's dead.

I know. Sure, you can take it a different way.

I loved his music, and I felt like we were really close to working together. I'm managed by the same people who managed him, and I know a lot of his friends.

Have you done a tiny desk?

I've not done a tiny desk I was supposed to, but I didn't sleep the before I was coked out, and so I missed it.

Right, right, right. These things happen. They do. Where are we at with the drugs now? Good. Was there an event? Was there anything exciting that was like, Okay, these are getting more dangerous?

You have a child.

That was a big one.

We would like that to help.

You know it's funny? That wasn't the thing.

No, it's not. It's worse. I'm glad.

That's honest.

I'm glad. I've seen so many dudes in sobriety think that when their kid arrives, that's going to be... It's harder. More stress in your mind.

It is. You also get this thing. It's like, All right, well, he's one now. Maybe I got three more years of this, and then it's boom.

Yeah, he'll remember all these things. It's a fallacy to say there's a bottom because I've had a dozen bottoms. But certainly, I did have the profound moment looking in a mirror at a bar, trying to get well enough to make my flight where I was just like, wow, man, you got everything you wanted, and you're the most miserable you've ever been. What is broken?

I know that feeling.

You got all the stuff now. So what is it?

Crazy feeling that one.

It's scary for me because I was like, oh, if I get rich and I'm famous, I got no problem.

Yeah, you think that. And then it feels like a man on the edge of the world. When you're in that mirror, you're like, What?

Why don't I like what I see? What happened? Yeah, it's scary.

It sucks.

Then you got to figure out what the fuck is broken.

Yeah, man. I was in Paris for Fashion Week and getting after it. No shortage of drugs in women in Paris. I end up staying up too late, and I have to go to Rome for a week and a half. It's supposed to be great. Rome's beautiful. This is the most miserable I've ever been. I'd run out of Xanax, which I've been taking for six months at this point. I a psychotic breakdown. I didn't sleep for three days. I'm up screaming, crying, throwing shit at the walls, breaking things, screaming at people, calling people pedophiles.

I was just going to say people know from watching movies that kicking dope is hard. I don't think people understand how absolutely horrendous kicking benzos is.

It's the devil.

Xanax and all the benzos, they seem so innocuous. It's like, Oh, you take one and it's fine. Because everyone takes them. Yeah. But it's when you've taken them for 30 days straight and you're up in your dose, it fucks up your brain pretty severely.

People take them for years. I look at it online, it's like, you're supposed to take these for this amount of time max, or else it can be serious. I think I took them for six months. Getting off of them, I almost died. Having seizures, flashes, fucking all. I'm freaking out. And then I just ruined this trip for everyone in Rome. And by the time we get back to LA, I'm like, Okay, I'll stop doing it.

It turns out I am fucked up.

You go so long thinking that you maybe can get it under control. There's always this stretch of time when it really feels like you're doing it. And boy, does that ground come up fast.

Then you're in Rome and You should be happy, and the people around you should be happy, and you're miserable, and they're all miserable. How many times you go to treatment? Like four.

Wow. I went to circ twice, crossroads once, and then seasons. I also did some recovery in jail to get out quicker.

What's your favorite part of it? What's your least favorite My favorite part.

My favorite part of it is what I was talking about with the dude that's your friend that won't let you progress and change. You show up there and no one knows you, so you get to create this person. Then when you leave, you get to be that person because your friends, even waiting back home, expect a little bit of change. Everyone gives you the grace to change at the same time, which rarely happens in life. It's always different times. Everyone's on a different schedule. When you go to treatment, you're a baby again. I love that part of it. They give you the opportunity to change. You're like, You're sure I can change? Go ahead. Then you do, and it's amazing. I love that part. My least favorite part is, and there's no really bad things about it, if you look at it from you're about to die.

It's all great.

But there's a couple of treatment centers that get a little clicky, which is human. But I think if there is a way to eliminate that, which is funny because I'll be in the studio and I'll be like, I need a guy here to do high hats. Just do high hats, but not talk. Preferably like he doesn't eat or drink water. Then they're like, So you want a human, but to erase this humanity? I'm like, That's it. That would be ideal. Exactly.

It would be most efficient for me.

That's how I feel about rehab. I'm like, if we could just eliminate the human part of it, it'd be amazing.

Yeah, there's a lot of parts I would have wanted to get rid of, the God part. I'm like, What are we doing here?

For some reason, that isn't a big to me because I like that challenge.

Where I got to it was like, you're so bogged down in the logic of it all, as opposed to this is an act of humility. You lack humility. You need some fucking humility, and you need to ask for help and evaluate yourself to help. And that is one act of doing that. And even more so if you don't believe in it. I'm like, Oh, I get it. It's even cooler test for me. I got to be that humbled to participate in something I don't necessarily believe in otherwise. I think that's good. Saintly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to act more other than euphoria?

Would you like to? Yeah, I want to act more. I've been busy with music, but I'd love to act more. I have an acting agency as well.

Sure, the whole thing. I bet you're very represented.

I'm busy. I'm away for months at a time. The kid. I'm down to do more acting.

Some musician just told us, it was a female, she said, There's this illusion that you can do both, but you absolutely can't. To promote the L, to record it, then to promote it properly. Oh, it was Juan.

It was Juan. It was beautiful. Bucs of me.

I don't even know who you're talking about.

Just describing her in a porn category. Ivory. She's Ebony.

She's light skin and white hair.

You're like the driven snow.

Who everyone was crying. Dove Cameron? Dove. Dove Cameron. Dove said that.

You have a similar vibe.

Musicians.

Musicians, baby. Did you get along with Zendeya?

Was that fun? Yeah, Zinda is great. She's very much Michael Jordan.

Okay, but let me ask you this because you're a scumbag like me, and I look at her as a goody-goody. Oh, yeah. I would have been so triggered by like, I bet she thinks I'm a piece of shit.

So That is why I really just wanted to skip over this part of it. I was just like, I already know any mention of her name. I don't know. If she sees it, she would look at me. I already know. I knew who I was on that set. I think that affected the way people felt about me, too.

But again, it's a little bit of that self-protection. Exactly.

It's like, I already know I'm a piece of shit. I know I'm a piece of shit. I know I'm a piece of shit. I can't knock me any lower, but they can.

I'm not taking this serious, but I am.

She probably has more grace for you than you.

Maybe, yeah. I imagine. She's great.

Tom Holland, maybe He's a secret scumbag. We'll find out. Which would be great. I hear he's the coolest.

I actually like him. He's funny. We hung out a couple of times. One night, I'm not even fucking with you. I go out to this bar. I'm with Tom Holland for some reason. To be McGuire's there. It's just me, Tobey Maguire, and Tom Holland.

Two of the Spiderman. Two fucking Spiderman. I'm just realizing the connection here. I'm just between them both.

I was like, Dude, this is awesome. Like, literally like this. I'm like, Can you guys do the meme? And they both did the Spiderman meme.

Then we're all just like, Oh. That's exactly what you would expect. It was awesome. Well, it's a delight to meet you. Yeah. As I said, you're even cuter in person.

Thanks for having me. I've never done a podcast. This is your first podcast? I watch them a lot.

I'm going to guess your favorite.

We feel honored.

I get one guess. I'm going to guess your favorite. Theo.

I love Theo.

Not your favorite. No, come, city, or whatever.

Well, MSSP really is good. Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast.

Ms..

Mssp. Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker have a podcast together.

I love Shane Gill.

It's great. It's good to sleep to. But like I said, this one's really great.

Thank you. We're going to keep at it for a while longer.

It's a good thing you all got going.

Please make that fucking season three of euphoria. I love it so much. I'll make it myself.

Yes, it's on you.

Call everyone and go like, Let's pick up the fucking pace. We don't need 10 hours.

What are you guys do it? They're filming it. All right. Well, could you go faster?

All right, brother. Well, great meeting you. Nice to meet you. And good luck with everything.

Thank you very much.

Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

It's cloudy out. Is it?

To me. Are you sure? When I woke up, it was cloudy, and then the weather app said cloudy all day.

Oh, No. And you're right. We were outside and it didn't seem cloudy.

It felt a little bright.

But in my heart- It's still cloudy.

This is my argument against sleep data.

Yeah, I understand.

Yeah. I've already laid that out. Yeah, of course. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yes. I'm with you. You need to do a sleep study? Cool. You need to find out what's going on. But just waking up every morning and having a device tell you basically the limits of how good your day can be.

Yeah, I agree. I'm against that.

Yeah. So I think that happened with the weather app. It was like, you woke up, it was cloudy, and then you're like, And it's going to be cloudy all day. And then you click into that gear. We've had really weird weather this summer and going in the fall, and I'm very grateful for it.

Yes. Notoriously, Los Angeles is at peak heat in September.

Yep. In the beginning of October.

And it's scorching.

It's always over 100. Yeah. It's miserable. The AC can't keep up with anything. You're damn near dead in your apartment with one fucking window unit in your kitchen.

Yeah. But also another thing that won't interest anyone is we have a season which is marine layer season.

End of spring, early summer is marine layer. So all the way to one or two in the afternoon, it's always overcast, which keeps the heat down in June. It's nice. But we've been in marine layer almost all of September. Interesting. Which is interesting. It was interesting. And then it also said it was going to pour today, right? It did. Said it was 80% chance it was going to rain, but that didn't happen. Because I keep looking at my bedroom window on the second floor down at the roof of the guest house, and there's so many leaves in the gutter, and I go, I got to leave, blow those out before before the rain comes. And then I was like, it's coming Wednesday. I got to get... And then I went to the store, I didn't do the leaves. But then it broke.

So maybe it's the sim because it's like, he's not ready yet. He hasn't done the leaves. So we have to hold off on the rain.

That's nice. So maybe the whole state will be like, please clean up your leaves. We need rain.

I'm good.

We need rain because it's fire season.

You're right. Marine Lair, shout out. A great clothing brand. Oh, yeah.

I have some Marine Marine layer.

Yeah. We used our sweatshirts. If you have an old armchair Expert Christmas once a year, limited edition sweatshirt, chances are it was Marine Lair.

Yeah.

Speaking of- Trusted brand. Not yet, but we will have a new merch-Oh, yeah. Situation very soon. So keep your ears and eyes filled for that.

Monica has been using all of her style prowice to come up with a whole new set of designs.

Yeah, we're working with a new company who's very well-burst in merch. Yeah. And we've all been working together to come up with some nice basic pieces. Basics. And I think they're going to be really cute. It's not, I guess it's a little bit of a cock tease because it's not available yet, but it will be.

I don't know that I... How often do you say cock tease? Is that new?

No, I said it. Okay. Somebody listening, please go back into all the episodes and see how many times I've said it. Ask AI. I guess normally I say a tease, but it means cock tease.

Yeah. Do you think I said- There's rungs of the intensity. You could see she She's a tease. He's a tease. She's a dick tease. I've never said that. He's a dick tease. Never said that. She's a cock tease. That's like triple X, full-blown, full throttle.

Dick tease sounds- Like dick cheese? Yeah. I don't like the sounds of that. It's like onomatopia.

I like it all. It sounds like someone's teasing it.

They are, but then they walk away.

But then they walk away. But that's much better than nothing. Is it? The dick tease is always framed as something negative. But I would way prefer some teasing than to nothing.

Oh, yeah. People really act like it's the worst thing you could possibly... I mean, this is- Glueballs. Glueballs, exactly. It's a patriarchy thing because it's like these women, they come and they just tease- Temptresses, yeah. And they tend to their sirens, and then they walk away, and then these poor men have these huge balls that turn blue.

We just had a guest on whose mother was like, You got to... Oh, it was that terrible doc we watched.

The hoarder? No, the unknown number.

Yeah, although did we have someone- I made a use. Also the mom with the hoarder. Her mom was telling her, You got to jerk these guys off. Oh, my God.

She was, and she gave her a vibrator for Christmas in front of her brother and dad.

He had a hidden father. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. Maybe that woman had a little bit of Munchhous. But just didn't have the Internet.

Didn't have... It was too lazy to pull it all.

Yeah. She had hoarding also. I mean, she had a lot to handle. She had a lot going on. Although that unknown number lady, when we see her house because of the body cam, it doesn't look organized.

Oh, it doesn't look organized. It didn't look bad, though.

Really? I felt like it looked rough.

I was expecting to see something-Worse.

Worse.

Yeah, I had my expectations very low.

I wonder if people have watched it since we've talked about it. Great, Doc.

I went to the Emmies.

Yes, you did. I wrote that down.

Tell us. Okay. Yeah, I went to the Emmies. We also went to this party called the Night Before Party, which raises money for the MPFT fund.

Okay. That's Motion, Pictures, Arts and Sciences. Children, Televisions.

Yeah. We haven't been in Probably 12 years.

Really?

Yeah. The last time we went was the time that we were hanging out with Amy and Tina. And then the next day, we were on a walk, and Kristen just said, I'm just not funny. Yeah. Well, that was a long time ago. Yeah, I think it was at least 12 years ago. Maybe more before Lincoln.

Before I was even born.

We went because the beautiful Adam Scott and his wife, Naomi, were official hosts of it.

Yes. A friend of the pot.

A friend of the pot. Just real-life friends. We just adore I had those two. And yes, so we went, and it was fun and...

Oh, okay.

I was reminded. I have the same anxiety of any function with a lot of people, which is like, you're going to see a lot of people you like, and then you're not going to be able to really talk to them. You're going to have three minutes of small talk, which is not my favorite. Then someone else is going to walk through that everyone knows. Then we're going to start the cycle all over again.

I hate this, too.

Yes. It was really fun to see everyone that I watch on TV. That part was fun.

Yeah.

I did get to chat with Ben Stiller for a while.

Oh. And that was fun. Oh, friend of the pod.

A friend of the pod. And I'm a friend of his pod. Oh, my God.

I feel his sweat. It's on me. He was really sweating then because we've been sitting.

We had Monica sitting on the exact same spot that our guests who just left was sitting, and he's very sexy.

He is very sexy. A sex machine. Yeah.

And you're now in his sweat.

Do you like it? Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I bet. I don't smell it, which is cool. You just feel it. His sweat doesn't smell.

His sweat's a back tease.

Which makes sense because...

You're getting a back tease right now.

This person has to sweat a lot for their job or did.

They work in a steel mill.

And so his sweat is evolved, where it's just releasing water to keep cool, but it's not stinky at all. No.

Wow. Then Then you got the Emmies the next day.

Wait, I want to say on the party for a second. Oh, okay, great. Okay, great. Because these parties- These parties. They're fascinating. And I think they're relatable to anyone as an adult going to a party where you don't know people, or you know people, or you know some people. You're trying to figure out how to maneuver through, and you don't want to be by yourself. It's all very fascinating. Mixed with, it's actually like being at a high school party because there's popular kids, and there's crushes, and there's all these dynamics going on.

A lot of dynamics.

There was a Netflix Emmy party after the Emmies, day of. That Anna went to. Okay. And she didn't get a plus one. Okay. Or, yeah, she didn't get one, and then she didn't ask for one, which, mistake, you got to.

I always am the plus one, so I don't know the rules. But that's what you do if you get invited, you ask for a plus one.

No, you are married. So if you- I'm the plus one. No. Either way, either you're the plus one or she's the plus one, there's no issues.

It's just built in. It's built in. If you're inviting Kristen, you have to invite me.

Yeah. And vice versa. If you're a single person, you have to make sure you ask for a plus one at events, which I've learned over time. Okay. So she went, and she was for a week. She was so excited about this party.

Oh, good.

Oh, yeah. Also, Anna, our friend, is so fun, right? She's the funnest person. She loves a party.

She's always in a great mood. She's got a zest for life that I find.

She's just ready. She's just going to say yes to anything. She'll do anything. She's so fun. She's normally my plus one because of that because she'll always say yes, and then she's just easy at the place. Yeah. She was so excited, and I had this feeling like, God, I mean, Anna's Of all people, she could handle a party by herself.

Yeah, this is if anyone could pull this off, it would be her.

For some reason, I had this. I was like, I don't know why I don't... I feel like this might not go very well. I didn't, and I didn't want to say that or anything.

You want to jinks her, yuck or yum. Yeah.

Also, at one point, she was like, I wish you could come. I was like, Yeah, this gets complicated because I, of course, want to be embraced and invited to things, and it's lovely. It's so nice. However, I am not a person- That feels super comfortable going to a party without-needing to be there.

Right, right.

Yes. I don't want to just be invited to a party unless I'm in a show that's represented there, or I'm like, obviously, I went to the SAG party because I was a part of that show. Yeah, yeah. Things like that. But I'm not interested in just going to a party to see- Crashing a party,. Yes.

Although you do want to go to the US Open and see them be seen.

Of course, but that's fun. Okay. That's That's watching tennis. Yeah, yeah. And I'm obviously bringing a plus one. Anyway. But even that, no, I would not want to go by myself. Right. Even if I was invited. I would feel so uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable.

You feel like a loser.

I know. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't. You should feel great.

We've talked about this. I used to go to eat all the time by myself, and I loved it. I didn't give a fuck. I was like, I think many people are like, My guy's pretty cool. He doesn't care. And being recognized has made me feel a little less I'm now back to enjoying it. But I do feel like people will go like, Well, that guy must actually be a loser because he should have a friend.

No, I think that's- He's on TV and doesn't have a friend.

I think that's very misguided.

That's not the same thing as a party. Okay. All right. I love going.

No, it was more US Tennis open. Oh. There, I would feel like people would be like, Why is that? That guy's on TV, why is he by himself?

That's more adjacent to a party.

Right. Okay.

There's so many layers. So, Anyway, all to say, she goes to this party. She's there for 10 minutes, and I start getting text. Right. Oh, no. No one's here. No one from the show is there. Some people were there, but they were not talking to her. I'm standing at this table by myself. I said, Well, go sit at the table. She was like, No, I feel better just standing at this stand up table. And she was like, and I'm going to have to drink. I'm going to have to keep going to the bar because I feel comfortable. You know, these things that start happening. And I thought, I was like- You start getting very self-conscious.

So self-conscious. You start feeling like, oh, I'm leaning on this thing. Does that look right? Is it leaning? Should I have my hand in my pocket?

Do losers lean?

You almost like short circuit as a robot.

You do. And it's so human and- Relatable. Relatable. It's like going to a wedding by yourself, and you're just standing at the standup table hoping. Oh, I just think I'm too old to do this ever. I went to a birthday party recently that was like this, and I hadn't felt it in so long. I'll shout it out. It was Ashley who owns- Olson. No, but ding, ding, ding. Elizabeth Olson was at this party. Wow. Yeah. So Ashley from all time had a birthday party, and it was in this cute side room at all time. And I don't know why, I didn't even think twice. I was like, Oh, it'll be... This is fun. I'll just pop in. I got there, and I was immediately... I was like, What have I done?

It's an immediate feeling. Yeah. Okay. Now you're like- First things first. I got to walk out of here, but that's going to be awkward. I just got here. I've got to save face and spend 10 minutes here. Exactly. It's all going to go downhill once you feel that way.

And those 10 minutes are 40 hours because you're figuring out. At least, okay, first I'll go get a drink. That takes some time.

Then I'm going to act like I'm going to the bathroom, but I'm going to leave then. No, I didn't leave.

Then. No, I don't. I couldn't leave. I had to at least stay to engage with her, but she's obviously talking to people. And then I'm looking around like, who do I know? Oh, I know that girl. But she's in conversation. And so I'm like, you know, you're- Saddling up next to. Yeah. You're doing that, or you're trying to get in their eye line and like, hi, so that they'll ignore whoever they're talking to to talk to you. Why would they do that? So they just nod, just acknowledge you, and then you're still standing there with your wine. Oh, my God. It was so bad.

It's crazy that being a social primate, that we do all feel that. I mean, I guess that's what we're feeling is like, oh, there's a group and we're not in it. Yeah. It's very uncomfortable.

It was so uncomfortable. And it is the human brain is so interesting depending on your place and time and where your location, places you feel comfortable versus places you don't. It was so wild. Finally, my friend Mara came. She just happened to be there. Mara Roseack, incredible hair stylist. Shout out Rose hair products. They're great. A lot of people reached out about that towel I talked about because my hair was looking so good. It's sold out, but they are going to maybe bring it back for the holidays. Oh, okay. Anyway, so. A lot of sidebars. Thank God. Thank God God, Mara walked in, and I beelined. She saved me. And I was like, You're not getting... You're mine now.

You're now on a date with me.

Yes, that's right. And poor her. She had to talk to me for a long time. I did speak to Elizabeth Olson. Oh, did that go? Did you like her? That was fun.

I've never met her.

She was really, really nice. This is also funny. I was like, Whoa, does she notice?

That you're in head to toe row?

Yes. . Actually, my shirt wasn't, but my pants and my bag were. Yeah. And I was like, for the first time, I was like, I wish I wasn't.

You felt silly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, this is like your sister's. I'm dumb. I I want to die. I want to go die. I'm wearing your sister's clothes. You're like, who is this person? Why do I have to talk to Mar? Why are you talking to her? And then you find yourself talking about such small talk. It is.

Yeah. It's uncomfortably inane. It's like, it's like, yeah, your soul feels like it's getting sandered.

Yeah, because I think in that conversation, I tried to bring up perimenopause It felt like- Sure.

It felt like you were forcing it. Yeah. It wasn't on anyone's mind.

It felt like it was going to be a good entree in these three women who were talking about hormones. And I was like, Oh, well. And then I was like, I was about to say, On my show. But I was like, I can't say, On my show. She's going to be like, What show?

You got a show? What podcast? Please don't tell me about your podcast.

Exactly. It was so scary. Anyway, so parties are hard.

Parties are hard. They are hard. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. So we left there. Then we went to the big event itself. Yeah. And they had a really heightened security.

Oh, I see. Yeah.

There were snipers on the roof and stuff. Different roofs. I'm glad. But it made getting in really quite crazy. Yeah. There was definitely a moment where I was like, should we get out and walk the remaining half mile?

Kristen and I did that one year.

Did you? Yeah. Yeah, it's not sorted all that well. And I was like, are we going to miss? And I think her category was second up or something.

I was getting so panicked because I'm watching the E- And we were nowhere. Red carpet to get you guys. And I'm like, Time is a ticking. I haven't I haven't seen them.

What's going on? Yeah, we walked around the whole side of that whole thing. We never were even on the red carpet. We came in the side and got there in the nick of time. And I don't know why I had a memory of them having some great green room with a lot of snacks. So I was like, I'm going to be fine. And then I'm hungry. She's like, Yeah, I'm hungry, too. Okay, after your category, let's go to the Green Room. So we go to the green room, slim fucking pick-ins. There was nothing there. I think I ate seven pieces of Mortadello ham. Sure. And that's all there really was. Okay. And I ate it all. That was it.

You saved none for everyone.

I was in a desperate situation. And then I When she went away to go do the Ted and Mary presentation, I knew I had a few- Minutes? Yeah, like a few awards. I had a little buffer. Right. I'm like, I'm going to go out to the lobby. I was going to be conservative. I was like, I'm going to go get a thing of popcorn. That'll tie me over, and I can manage that. Just a couple of kernels at a time, hide it on the ground.

But high choking probability, just saying that.

Something to think about, I suppose, or in your teeth. Yeah. But anyways, I got up there. They were sold completely out of popcorn. So I said, Oh, fuck it. Give me the nachos. Sold out of nachos. So I ended up with a huge hot dog, like a Snoopy Special hot dog, like a quarter pound hot dog, and a bag of Flaman Hot Cheetos in Skittles, which I don't eat sugar, really. And I certainly am not eating Skittles if I'm going to eat sugar. I'm going to eat like a candy bar of chocolate.

Yeah, yeah.

So I got back to the seat and I was just trying to be pretty quiet about it. Now I have an enormous tray of food. By the way, sincerely, none of this occurs to me for whatever reason. I just don't think that way.

You're not thinking you're on TV.

I don't think, oh, hey, guy, you're the only person in the first six rows with a tray of food on. I literally don't even think about it. I was like, I'm hungry. I got nothing to do here. I'm not nominated. They're not cutting to me.

Well, they might.

So I'm pounding this hot dog, and all of a sudden I hear, Dax, Dax. And I look over, I posted this video.

Yes, I saw.

And yes, Sarah Paulson's recording me. And she-Friend of the Pot. Friend of the Pot. By the way, so many Friends of the Pot at this thing. It was so fun. That's so fun. Half the people were nominated. I really liked that a lot. I just really liked it. I was like, everyone in this room is human. Yes. I've gotten to see everyone be human for 2 hours, and that's really cool. In the past, when I'd go to these things, there's all these different people, and I'm imagining what they are, and I'm applying the status and stuff. But this was, I think for the first time ever at a worship, I was like, Oh, it's a room full of people?

Yes. I love that.

And I'm happy for them. It's really cool what they did. And it's just really a room full of people, and it was great. I'm whispering to Seth Rogen once because I'm a huge fan of Tony Gilroy. He wrote and directed Michael Clayton. He also wrote Andor. Oh, wow. Yeah. So then I see the nomination for Andor, and it's for Mike Gilroy. And I'm like, what does Tony go by Mike? And then I lean over and I'm like, if there's one guy in this audience that I don't know, it's Seth Rogan. This motherfucker knows every single thing about him. And I'm like, Seth, does Tony have a brother? And he's like, yeah, two brothers. And then it was the brother that one. And then he mentioned the third brother who's also right on the show. Oh, wow. So this is just so fun. I'm getting info from him and I'm staying dialed into what's going on. But anyway, so that hot dog thing happens. And then friend of a pod, Sam Sam Rockwell has left his seat and comes over and just goes, buddy, you killing that hot dog is the funiest thing. I've been watching you eat that hot dog.

Oh my God. The whole room is watching. Now I realize everybody's been watching me eat this hot dog. And then Sam leaves, and I look at him to Say goodbye. And then I catch eyes with Seth Rogen and Ike, Bear Nolts. And Seth's like, You eat that thing like a corn on the cob.

And I'm like, Oh, I think everybody there was watching me fucking pound this because I didn't want to eat the bun.

So I was eating it crazy. And I'd put a ton of ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise on it because I wanted more calories because they didn't have any food for sale.

Oh, my God.

So I had a moment where I was like, oh, my God, I was being stared at by a lot of people.

You were the jester.

Accidentally, I was the jester. And I think if I saw me, I would think I was doing a bit, but I wasn't doing a bit.

I don't know why because I'm so- Well, now it's a pattern.

This is why I would think that. Because the other time when I was watching the lions game at the Golden Globes.

Oh, right.

On my phone.

Yeah.

Again, I thought I was just having this very secret moment where no one knew I was looking down at my phone. And then Kristen had recorded me and posted it. It became a funny thing.

Yeah, but I don't think the room was paying attention to you.

The room wasn't. But if I add up that little 'upsies' with now this hot dog gate, if I was cynical, I didn't like me already. I'd be like, this guy's just... He's never nominated these things. Why is he there? Why is he there? Why does he go there and have to do something stupid each time?

Oh, interesting.

So I had accidentally backed into another Right. Little thing. I mean- But it was... I was fine with it, of course.

They sell food. So obviously, people are... If it was all sold out, people ate. Yes.

Well, I had seen Oh, another fun thing I'll say is, Chloe 70 was directly in front of me.

She's so fashion.

She's so fashion. She's so cool. Yeah, I know. She is. I don't know where they were one time with my friend Leslie, and I just thought she was really cool, and I've always thought she was really cool. So when she was nominated, and when she didn't win, and the other person came up, and the second the camera was off her, because I didn't want anyone to see this, I slid her $20. Okay. She turned around, she was laughing. And then she was like, trying to give it back to me. I go, No, you must keep it because if people say, Sorry, you lost, you go, Oh, no, no, I won $20. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's the one who had been sneakily eating some popcorn where I got the idea.

Yeah. I imagine people have to eat- I guess the line was at popcorn before people were going to look at you. Well, the nachos were sold out.

Yeah. It must have been folks in the back.

Or before the show started, maybe.

Or in the breaks when maybe they buy it in the lobby and eat it all in the lobby. But I carried this huge tray back to my seat. No one sent anything to me. There was ushers everywhere.

Right. Wow. Yeah, that's funny. I mean- So now I guess I'm committed to this.

Now it is going to have to become a bit... No. I'm going to have to play like a trumpet in the middle of something. I know. I'm sorry, but that's my responsibility.

As soon as it turns into on purpose, it's not- It's ugly. It's ugly. Yeah. It's ugly. Yeah. It's ugly. It's ugly. Yeah. And it's about you and attention.

I actually feel confident I'll accidentally do more stuff. Yeah.

Just let yourself be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a really good time, and I felt like a moment of growth, which is like, I didn't feel better than anybody, and I didn't feel less than anybody. Good.

Yes.

That is a great feeling.

This is the thing I'm always trying to tell you. Do you think maybe I'm just ahead of your time?

Probably.

You're probably way ahead of my time. It's not always... Status isn't always about.

And it does- Well, it always is. And then you participate in it sometimes.

It doesn't have to be. You don't have to. It's the way you perceive it.

Yeah. It's hard, but you can remove yourself from it.

Write it down.

But I didn't do anything to earn it. I just felt that way, which was nice.

Yeah, great. Well, I'm glad. I'm better than fainting. Did you see one lady? It was some political thing. It was her first day. Maybe she was French or something, and she passed out. And there's video, and it looks so scary.

Is she making a speech?

They're all up there doing... Yeah. She wasn't in the middle of talking. Somebody else was talking, but it was four podiums. And then she just like, watching someone pass out is so weird. Yeah. To see the human body just give out. Yeah. Is- Quit. Very scary. Yeah.

You ever fainted?

I, yeah, had this weird passing out thing, which then caused this anxiety about passing out.

Oh, okay. Because you passed out on the bike riding it at SoulCycle?

No.

When did you pass out?

I passed out babysitting. It was a whole thing. It was really scary.

What age?

It was while I worked at SoulCycle. Oh, okay.

At all? Yeah. Not babysitting when you were a kid?

No, no, no. It was during that time. Okay. Anyhow, just watching someone's body give out, and she said low blood sugar. You could have passed out. It would have been so So bad. What a dummy. I'm also too big. Exactly. You would have taken out so many people.

I would look like a dumb dumb. Look at that big dumb guy fell over.

Yeah. This big ogre fell.

I have never fainted, thank God.

I hope you don't.

I feel confident I'm not going to.

Thank you. Speaking of fainting, bodies giving out, health stuff, tell everyone the story you told me the other day.

Oh, okay, great. Yes. Another highlight. Thank you. Highlight. This was really just a highlight for you. I was excited to tell you. Yes. No, Wiley was seated, I think, two rows behind me. So on one of my many trips to try to get food, I saw him and I locked eyes with him. So I walked over and I introduced myself to him. I'm like, Hey, no, I'm Dax. Nice to meet you. And he said, Oh, yeah, I was on your hay ride this year. And I'm like, You were on my hay ride? He goes, Yeah, I was on the hay ride last year. I can't believe it. And I go, Why don't you say hi? And he goes, I don't know, you were driving. I don't think you necessarily want me to say hi. And he goes, I don't know, you were driving. I didn't think you necessarily want me to say hi. And I'm like, Well, I'm delighted you on there. And he said, he goes, Man, you make some sharp turns. And I go, I'm so glad you say that. I only go through all the effort of doing it so that people will compliment me on how tight the course is.

But he did. He couldn't wait to tell me how impressed he was with the turn into the alley.

Okay.

Isn't that great? I mean, it's hard for you, but it's great.

Well, now you made it about you, and it's about me.

He was sitting next to me, probably, and I didn't even know. He must have been full mask or something.

Oh, my God.

Also, we've had this with a couple of guests that were on the hayride that we don't know about.

But no one's more exciting than Noah Wiley. No one's more exciting.

It's extremely exciting. But I can think of a couple of people. If Jay-Z said he was on the hay ride, I'm going to be a little more excited.

Okay, again, that's your preference. That's my thing, yeah. Okay. My preference is to be on the hay ride with Noah Wiley.

You got to keep your eyes filled this year.

Yes. Do you think maybe he was one of the ones that came into the house that wasn't supposed to come into the house?

He was like, Hey, man, I took your hay ride and shit in your bathroom. I came for a free hamburger, and then I was like, Oh, this place must be open to two of-C'est very Amanda Nox. Yeah.

Anyway, I am delighted about this.

It feels like a good start. And then I DMed him to invite him on the show.

Yes. I knew I smelled something really good on the hay ride. But I never could identify it. And now, mystery solved. It was him.

It was his Faramones.

Now, did you consider telling him that we talk about the Pit constantly on the show, big fans. He comes up all the time. I want him to do surgery on my body.

I did consider saying, My co-host is obsessed with you, and I hear about the pit all the time. And then I realized, They're being celebrated tonight. Me telling him someone's obsessed with the show felt extraneous in a given. Given the amount of acclaim they were receiving that night, it felt like, Yeah, da, don't you see what's happening? We're winning every award. Everyone loves it.

I think a line reading could have been. Okay.

We'll start with, Hey, I'm Dax.

Oh, okay. Hey, I'm Dax.

Noah. Noah, nice to meet you. I was on your hayride. What?

Yeah, yeah.

What do you mean? In your neighborhood, I was on your hayride. You were making those crazy tight turns.

It was crazy. Oh, well, let's talk about my co-host. Thanks for the compliment, but she is obsessed with you.

Your co-host of what?

Oh, I have a podcast.

Oh, we're dead. See? We're dead in the water because that could have happened.

No.

Now I'm explaining to him what a podcast is. Oh, Monica, you must acknowledge it's so high risk.

No, it's not. And this is why I'm self-conscious. Okay? I know, and it's not a fair comparison.

I know.

It's not a fair comparison, and everyone's going to be mad at me for saying this, probably, but this is where my head's at. Okay. So I got to. You would have no problem saying, Kristen's obsessed with your show.

She loves it so much. Because I know. I know 100 % they know who Kristen is. I do not walk around, assuming all widely knows I have a podcast called Armchair Expert. I don't. I don't. I don't ever assume someone knows it. Right. If they bring it up, I'd love to talk about it, but I never say my show, our show, this show. I don't ever do that because I don't assume everyone knows.

Yeah, but you could say, I have a podcast and my co-host is obsessed with it.

That sounds terrible. I have a podcast.

Well, I have a life.

We already have agreed on this. We know it's embarrassing to say, I have a podcast. We already dealt with this. We were sitting at a table where it said podcast, and we were embarrassed.

But then you said the goal is to invite him on the podcast.

Yeah.

So how are you going to do that if you can't tell me that one?

I'm going to meet him. I'm going to be nice and likable. And then his publicist is going to pitch him however he gets on this show. That's been happening, yeah. And he's going to go, Oh, I met the guy. He's pretty cool. I'd love to.

His co-host is obsessed with me, apparently. He wants me to do surgery, so I'll definitely go on.

Anyway. Anywho, facts?

Okay-dokey.

Dominique Fyke.

I loved this episode. Yeah. I really did. What a- It's got the MKG.

Yes. I'm sure every woman who- M-G-K. M-g-k. M-g-k. I'm sure a lot of women want to just protect him and take care of him.

Well, that's very- Take care of him. I mean, yes. It's a little cliché, but I guess it's true. But also it's not. It's like there's just something admirable about a person who has been put through the fucking Ringer and is smiling and thinking about it in positive ways. Using it to create. Yeah, using it to create. Not letting it kill him is admirable. It is. There's Something like something so twinkly. He's a low percentage. Just in his eye. I don't know. I liked him a lot.

He's very playful.

Yeah, he's like a nice boy.

Would you date him? I mean, he's very young.

He's too young.

But he's very attractive.

He's very attractive, but he's too young for me.

How old was he?

He's about to be 30. If you are my brother's age-Okay, that's the-I get it. I can't do it.

I get it. You have the brother in the mix. But 30 is an adult man. I know, but- I bet he has pubic hair and stuff.

I've shared a shower with my brother, so I would assume he does have pubic hair. But yeah, that's a sticking point for me. Anyone who is my brother's age or below is a baby. They'll just be a baby forever. Even when my brother is 40.

Well, when you're 58 and the person is 50. Still. Really? Even when it's an old grizzled man like me.

They're babies. Just a little baby. Actually, there were times when Dominic was talking that I was like, I would see my brother.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Because they're the same age. And so some of the ways they were talking and certain mannerisms, I was like, oh, my God. Or generational. I think generational boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was sweet. But also my brother has a girlfriend. Yeah. And it's so exciting for me.

Yeah. Wonderful.

I think it's so wonderful. Yeah. And I'm so happy. And I don't know where it will go. But I had this feeling where I was... There's no other feeling other than just being so happy.

Yeah. Because he's your brother, but he's also your son because of the age gap, and you want him to not be lonely, be happy.

It makes me feel... I'm so much happier about that development than I am if I had a boyfriend to bring to the table. I prefer this, that just like, he's good and he's happy.

I feel that way about Carly and Yurt. I'm just so happy that Carly has had Yurt for so long.

It's really great. And then even the idea, what if they... I've taken it so far. If they have kids and they're going to bring maybe these little babies to Christmas and I get to play with these babies. Yeah, that It is fun. I get to pay for their college. Sure. It's just so cute. And there's also something energizing about it for me. I feel so excited that there might be new energy in the dynamic.

Now, yeah, that is fun. It's fun. And she will make him grow as partners meet.

Yeah. Now, I love it.

One shouldn't care about this, but I do. Which is, do you have any sense of relief of like, I want my parents to know that they carried on, and I might not facilitate that, and I'm comforted for them that the Padmans may live on.

So I talk to them about this. They don't care. They don't.

They're so interesting.

They really don't care about that, about the legacy or the seed continuing or the name continuing or anything like that.

It makes me sad. If I think about my dad and the shepherds and Papa Bob and grandma, and that I ended that line, I would have a hard time with it.

I have some guilt about that. Yeah. So this isn't helpful.

And I'm saying it doesn't make any sense. Why do we care if one genetic pool carries on or not? I don't know why I care.

Well, it makes sense.

But you feel like, I feel like, oh, they die for good if that doesn't happen. Yes. Right? There'll be no one here to care that they were here.

Yes, correct. These are the feelings.

Yeah, they're deep.

Yeah, they are. But then you can't do it for that.

No, of course not.

So, yeah, When she came into the picture and I was talking to my parents and I said that, I was like, well, good. At least we know someone's going to carry this on. And they laughed and they were like, we don't care about that. They, I think, want little babies around right now. That sounds fun for them. But also they're fine if that doesn't happen, and they don't care about the name being spread.

They're bizarrely healthy and evolved.

They're very healthy and evolved. Thank God, because they got me. Although maybe I wouldn't be. I probably wouldn't be me if they weren't that.

You will. Of course not.

I would probably want to do what they wanted me to do, and I would do it.

Yeah, beat yourself up or not do it and feel guilty.

Or I would just do it and then be miserable. Yeah. So I'm lucky. But anywho, so that was exciting. This is all very exciting.

Yeah. And to be clear, I don't care for me. I don't care if my children have children for me so that someone remembers me. It's really just about my dad and my mom.

Yes. It goes the other way.

It's guilt.

My grandparents. Yeah. But also, it's like, what does it mean? They didn't live like they did. I know. And death is death to me. I know. They're dead. Except they are and they're not because there is some truth to we make these people- My pop-up is so alive right now.

As long as I'm here, he's so alive.

Yeah. That's just unhelpful. Anyway. Okay, some facts. Okay, so Somatic Therapy. Do it. Somatic Therapy. I'm doing it. Explores how the body express his deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery. Since disturbing feelings often show up in the body in debilitating ways, somatic therapy aims to drain those emotions of their power, relieving pain and other manifestations of stress, such as disrupted sleep or an inability to concentrate. These types of emotions can stem from a variety of conditions and circumstances that somatic therapy may potentially help alleviate. They include PTSD, complicated grief, depression, anxiety, trust and intimacy issues, self-esteem problems.

Can't imagine there's a human on Earth without one of those.

Yeah, I agree. You know, it's funny. I had therapy this week, and she said something really interesting because I was having this period of anxiety that felt really old. And I was having all these old feelings come up that I thought I had- Say goodbye to. Fully put to rest and we're gone. So then, of course, then I was mad at myself. Why this again? This is back. What?

It's a failing on your part.

Yeah. And she said an interesting thing. She said, with loss brings back old losses. That makes sense. So there's a current loss. All these old old things that are similar in feeling and body come back to the surface.

Yeah, that makes sense. You smell something that's from 20 years ago, you smelt it. It reminds you of that whole thing. Yeah.

You have to walk through those emotions again, which is hard, but good to know that that's what's happening. Anyway, that just reminded me of somatic therapy. Oh, he mentioned drinking Kalua. They would steal from friends' parents, and I was like, This is such a universal thing. That was my first drink.

I think it's most people's.

I know.

Because it's a milkshake.

But also like- Because the alcohol tastes terrible when you first try it. Right. But I don't know anyone who has Kalua. Anymore. Anymore.

It does feel very '90s, '80s, '90s.

Yeah. I wonder what the new one is.

I'll tell you when it looks so good as in the dude, the Big O'Mabowski.

Oh, white Russian. The white Russian.

When they make those at the bar. I remember watching that and just being like, Fuck, I'm so mad I didn't drink white Russians.

It looks so good. It's thick. Yeah, it's thick. That's really thick. Okay, the Cirque Lodge, we talked about it in a way that it's as if everyone knew what it was because the three of us do know what it is, but it is a rehab center.

Yeah. And I think they do multiple things. I don't know if it's just addiction. Do they? I think there's a lot of different.

Oh, yeah. The Studio Cirque Lodge, Studio alcohol and drug rehab facility. Luxury Rehab.

Luxury Rehab.

Yeah. Highly rated. Okay. How long does... I'm going to get so many flags because I looked up, how long does coke last in your system? Oh, yeah.

How long? How long is it detectable?

It says, If someone has used cocaine only once, it's usually detectable in urine for around 3-5 days. Someone who takes a larger dose or uses it occasionally, it may show up in urine for 3-7 days for frequent or heavy cocaine users, 5 to 14 days after the last dose. So okay, I looked up that.

If you can go 14 days between using coke, then you're not really a heavy user. It's all circular.

True. Okay, now weed. I looked up weed as well. Single first-time user, up to three days. Moderate user, which is a few times a week, 5 to 7 days. Chronic user, 10 to 15 days. Heavy chronic user, which is multiple times a day, 30 days or longer.

I had always heard 30 days. Okay, so you got to really be on it.

But maybe that's someone who's every day. Yeah. Pedal to the metal. And then meth. When I looked that up, I did get a hotline.

Oh, you did?

. Which is great. It says, Meth can be detected in urine, blood, saliva, and even hair for different periods of time that vary from person to person. In general, it's much longer than you'd expect. Although the high for meth may only last a Minutes to a few minutes to a few hours, a drug can remain in your body for a much longer period of time. It's not saying specifics, which is, oh, this says, Can stay in your urine for up to five days.

Well, what is wild is I have had drug tests show up for meth from Sudafet.

Yeah.

I truly haven't done meth in 23 years. But when I When I was taking drug tests, there was a period where I was like, What is this? And I had to go like, What is going on? And I had taken Sudafet.

Right. But it also says your meth can be found in a half-inch hair sample for up to 90 days.

Okay. No getting away with that one, it sounds like.

Let's just leave that one alone. Yeah. Okay. The act that is there to combat prison rape is called Pria. It stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act in 2003.

Okay, good. That's great. I'm glad they finally... I think there's a big period where they were like, tough shit. Yeah, exactly. You went to prison. That's on you. You deserve it. Yeah. This is gnarly.

I know. That was so crazy that his cellmate murdered his family. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. Wow. Okay, now you're going to be really interested in this. So we took a pee break, and then you asked if his stream was ropey. Yeah. And then we got onto the subject of does a larger penis mean you have a thicker stream? So I looked this up. Having a bigger penis is linked to a slower urine stream due to the longer length of the urethra. You were right. Thank you. And I was like, no, but you were right. It just makes sense. I guess. However, a slow stream is more strongly influenced by other medical conditions, with penis size having a minor indirect.

I think your prostate has a lot to do with it. Sure. I think when guys have really enlarged prostates, it's constricting everything in the VAS deference in your urethra, and then it's just a dribble, drip, drip, drip. Or I see guys all the time at the urinal, and they're trying to get it going, and I'll do my whole thing.

Well, it makes sense. If anything expanded or bloated, because sometimes even if I'm on my period or if I have a tampon in- Which is often, as it turns out. It's harder for me pee. I don't know if that's just my body, but for me, it makes sense, too, because then everything's stuck, constricted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But luckily for me, I barely ever wear tampons.

Yeah. And you barely It's hard to pee. Here you got to where? Correct. Yeah. You're hitting this from a lot of different angles.

But that's why it's uncomfortable if I have to pee, because I don't pee often. So when I pee, there's a fair amount of pee. So if I have a tampon in and I can feel like it needs to come out. It's uncomfortable. Too much brush. Yeah, too much brush. All right. Oh, the happy Pharrell thing. It is despicable me, too. And yeah, And a lot of bats before you cranked it out of the park.

That's it. Well, I loved him. Me, too. He's so cute. I want to take care of him. I want to buy a house and meet him and Machine Gun Kelly all live in it. Oh, that'll be fun. We do a lot of hugging and comforting one another. A little bit like crying.

Oh, cute. Yeah. Okay, bye. Love you. Love you.

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