Transcript of #3182 The Valley Persian Style S1E04: You Give Me The Sweetest Tabbouleh

Well, hello. Welcome to Watch What Happens. I'm Ben Mandelker. And joining me today is the glorious, hilarious, and lovely. Roni Karem. Hi, Roni. How's it going?

Good. How are you?

Great, thanks. We are here to report on The Valley, Persian style. Before we get into that, go join us on Patreon. We just recorded our bonus episode of the week about The Traitors. We had a lot to say about that. Also, Patreon is where you can get ad free. Watch what crap ends if you support there. We have a newsletter that's going to be rolling out soon enough on Patreon, and that's free. That's a free thing for everyone, anyone, anyone and everyone, even if you are not supporting on Patreon, but it's just all going to be there, a little hub of activity. And of course, don't forget, we got the Golden Crappies coming up at the end of next month. Tickets are at wathtrackreppins. Com. So here we are. Speaking of the traders, I feel so bad for the Valley, Persian style, and to some degree, even Beverly Hills, because I think the chatter on the on the internet on Fridays, if you go on Twitter or on threads, and I've been going on threads a lot more because you know why? On threads, you can actually label text as spoilers, so you can freely talk about things like the traders and mark things as spoilers, and you're not going to make people scared to go on there, which is so wonderful.

But everyone's talking about The Traitors. Maybe it's my algorithm, but everyone's talking about The Traitors, and this poor show, The Valley, I don't know how it's going to break through when on Friday mornings, there's just no space for it, for online chatter about it.

Yeah. They did it a favor by putting it after Beverly Hills because that's one of their biggest shows, but it's up against the traitors. It is. It's not the It's not a compelling season to Beverly Hills either. It's like, meh.

Last night on Beverly Hills, there were some moments on Beverly Hills last night that I think normally would generate a large amount of Twitter chatter. I think that got lost, too. I think that The Trader's is such a social media behemoth that I think it's really just hard to launch a brand new show against all that. I feel bad for this one.

The Valley is pretty good. I think they're doing a pretty good job. This is Season 1, episode 4. It's called Dennis, the Menace, which is funny because I've been calling Todd Walter Mouthau all week. I always love that. That comes around on Bravo. We opened where we left off last week with his Gigi having this meeting with this guy she was married to for five minutes and having him come to this restaurant with terrible tiles on the wall that belong on the floor, and then having a fit, even though she knew everything he was going to say, and then storming out of the restaurant. I just need to eat something. I need to earn something.

I love, by the way, that you just made that voice, because one thing I noticed about Gigi last night, which has been there for over a decade, it's always She's always been there, but for some reason, I feel like we've just never noticed it, is how Gigi always talks with a vibrato. She's like, I am so mad at Dennis. Dennis came and he was talking to me, and I don't know why he came to the restaurant. I'm like, Why have we never noticed that? Or why we never articulated that Gigi always is so dramatic with her?

I've been doing it this season because I've noticed it this season, especially when she gets herself all worked up and she's like, Oh, I just doing I'm like, Oh, God.

I apologize. I apologize I didn't notice it in your impersonation because I was just... It was last night. I was like, She is so funny. She's like, Dennis is always coming around. I just want to get this off of my head, and you're acting like it's nothing. I was like, Oh, my God. Finally, after a decade of Gigi impersonation.

So he comes outside. He's like, Hey, what are you so mad about? So what? So I dated you with one of your best friend the week after we got divorced. Who cares? Whatever. She's not even your friend if she's willing to date me. Who cares? It's like, Lord, get out of here. I'm going to kill this guy. I'm going to kill this guy. She's like, Just stop. I want to get it off my head. You're acting like it's nothing. She's shaking. She's like, Can you relax, though?

Can you relax, though? Can you relax, though? She's like, Fine. So they go back inside.

They're mopping the walls in there. I'm like, I just come back in.

I love your obsession with the tile at this restaurant.

This restaurant is just so ugly. Here's my problem, because the Valley gets a lot of shit, right? Over the years, I lived in not the Valley for 15 years. Now that I'm in the Valley, and I really do like it here, but there are certain things that make me crazy, and a lot of it is just style. It's like, what happened? The Valley, I guess, was just built in a different time, and it's just uglier architecture in general, and it's just the restaurants have no taste. They just don't look good. This is the perfect example of, let's just open a restaurant and get some Home Depot floor tiles in the cheapest section possible and put them on the wall. It's just offensive. Can I eat in a decent-looking place, Valley?

I know. This is a Valley thing. It's hard. There are some esthetically very cool parts of the Valley. There's definitely a mid-century modern thing that is Especially go down.

Yeah, there are cool little neighborhoods. Yeah.

Yeah, there's really cool, but there's all these really cool old motels and bars. That's the best part of the valley. But there's also just a lot of generic shit that pops up in the '80s and the '90s, and you're like, What is this?

Yeah, you can tell there was a big boom at a certain time in history that was tasteless.

Tasteless. Tasteless boom. Disgusting.

Tasteless boom.

Well, let's go back to this tasteless boom restaurant with the tiles on the wall, and he's like, Listen to me. I know you're angry, and I'm sorry if I did hurt you. So you're apologizing for my fucking friend? He's like, Yes. Just Dennis and I, for the last 13 years, we have just been best friends. There's no other man that has been in my son's life other than Dennis. We were in business together, and we got married for five or six months ago in Vegas. A couple of weeks after that, he just got engaged with someone that was my friend, and I haven't seen him since then after 13 years. He just dumped our entire relationship down. I'm like, Gigi, no one cares. We've never seen this man before in our lives. We never heard about him. Maybe we did. We just didn't put him into our... We didn't press Command S and save him into our brains. This whole thing, literally I don't care about. Just have your margarita, wash the wall, and let's move on.

Also, you told us all last week that you only married this guy to make another guy jealous. You always thought this guy was ugly and didn't even like him, and you only married him to piss off the other guy. So why are you acting like?

But he didn't I know that.

You were such a shithead to this guy. I like that he said that. He said, At some point, he said something like, You didn't even like me. You're saying he's so ugly. I would never marry him. Why do you even care? I was like, But I do. I do. I do. He's like, Look, I know that we're family. You would have me back tomorrow. I would have you back tomorrow. What's the family? I got you back. Even if I was fucked up, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. That's the life of the people who put floor tiles on the wall. What are you going to do?

Why? I still consider you a whole family. I love your dad. Eli loves me. Your mother loves me. Your sister loves me. I know. Fuck her, too, right? I mean, I can't even do your mom's accent right now because you're lying. I can't take this. Don't do my mom's accent. That's the weight of my heart. No, please don't do it.

There he comes, here he comes right around the corner to me. Do a mom impression and make me love him again. Don't let him do this for me.

Then he's like, Look, If we're family, brothers and sisters fight way worse than that. We're like brother and sister. Imagine a brother and sister that got married, but then the sister only got married to the brother to get revenge on the sister's other brother, and then the brother went and annulled the marriage to have sex with a different sister. That's like family, right?

Who doesn't fight with their sister a little bit after fucking for a while? It's natural. She's like, I just can't with you. I don't know what else to say. I don't know what else to say to you. He's like, Okay, well, what's the plan then? She goes, Just go back to work. Let's just not ever talk about anything else again. She starts doing that giggling thing, or now she's like, flirting with them. I just don't. Because they never work. She's like, Let's talk about work now. Let's talk about, Okay, intimately, Gigi, that was doing amazing. Then we see their business together, which was selling vibrators with Gigi's face on it or whatever.

We were selling fives of those every year.

And so Gigi-Imagine all the people just determined to put a dildo with my face on it inside of them. Let's just get back to the real things.

Maybe that's why she's talking like that. I'm using my Intimate by Gigi toy right now. By the way, these two were never mad at each other in the first place because they're like, Okay, we're angry, we're angry, we're angry, and now everything's fine.

Let's talk about our vibrator business. Let's get that going again.

I know. Apparently, this is going to be a big issue because, oh, guess what? No one likes Dennis. Now we go around the horn to find out what people think about Dennis. Reza was like, I am not cool with Dennis right now.

He hurt my friend Gigi. When you hurt a friend of mine, you hurt me. Since I'm not allowed to be mad at Tommy this season, I have to be mad at someone, so I'm going to be mad at Dennis. If you hurt Gigi, you hurt me. Unless it's me hurting Gigi, then it's just fun. But it also hurts me, I guess, because Gigi has knives.

Mj is like, Losing Dennis was a really big emotional for Goldeneza. And yes, it was hilarious for us, but overall, it's problematic for us, too. So, yeah, I don't like Dennis.

Yeah. And then, Natasha's like, I mean, he's a guy. He thinks with, as you know, his dual. So then the check comes and Dennis says he's got it. She's like, That's right, you do. You better get it. So he's like, Yeah, we both know you're not paying. You got the unicorn wallet. No one's ever seen it. I'm here all night.

I don't get that.

Then it's like, Unicorn. Speaking of unicorns, let's make a dildo unicorn. He's like, I think they already got that. God damn it. God damn it. I need to buy something.

We go over to Skye and Bumshod's house, and Tannen has invited them to Palm Springs, and basically, they're going to go to Palm Springs. That's the whole thing. That's the trip. Tannen is like, We haven't had a trip as a group together, and I think it'd be really wonderful if we, as a group, could be in one place so I can ridicule my husband in front of everyone. I think we'll just have a great laugh.

Then we go to Reza and Adam, and Adam's in the garden in his overalls. He's like, I'm going to bully. And he gets a text inviting them to Palm Springs. And then we see Gigi reading part of her text, and she's like, Oh, fuck. Yeah, I can make it Palm Springs. And then Amir is saying that they want to go, but are children welcome? No. Get a fucking babysitter. I don't know why your kids on a trip. The word.

God. Way to ruin the vibe right away.

Let's go party our asses off with our friends in Palm Springs, Party Central, with your fucking kids. God.

Yeah. No, I don't like that. Skye is talking about how she wants to have a bigger house because she wants to move out of this house a lot. She hates the valley, by the way. As we already know, but just to reiterate, she hates the valley. She's like, Look at all this tasteless boom architecture around here. Get me back to Bel Air. She's like, When I met him, when I met Bomsjad, more like Bomsjit, am I right? I said, I will never live in the valley. He's like, That's true. But we were building and remodeling and flipping homes. Then the pandemic came around and said, Surprise, we're living in the valley now. She's like, Yeah, it was an adjustment for me because boom shit architecture, I hate it. Now I'm here. Oh, God, get me out of this hell hole.

He says it's going to be temporary. Five years later, we're still here. How temporary is this? How temporary is five years? This man puts the bomb in bombshut. Am I right? Thank you. And Sky, so she's having Reza, probably the worst realtor we've ever seen. How does this guy ever sell anything? What only tells people is not to buy things. Have you ever seen a realtor do this? He's like, Hey, listen to me.

Here's what I would do. Never move. You need to keep what you have. Don't be silly. This is not a time to buy anything. I just told Gonesa this. I'm telling everybody I need to sell houses. Don't buy houses.

Okay? I like that when he wants to emphasize something, Reza plays a small piano in front of him, he puts his fingers down. He takes his fingers and goes like this on the table. He's always like, Don't do it.

If you have an interest rate that's less than Baby Shams's age four, don't sell. I still haven't met Baby Shams's interest rates.

He's right, though, because interest rates are still insane.

I know, don't sell.

She's like, Okay, but if we spend two and a half million dollars or something, and he's like, Oh, that is so unrealistic.

One of Gigi still does this two and a half million dollars? Okay, listen, there's a house on Casiano for 2. 3 that you would never buy. It's garbage. It's a bombshot. That's Farsi for garbage.

She's like, I know I have a low interest rate, but I I also have a high boredom rate going on here. I don't care. I will do a 35% interest rate. Get me out of the valley right now.

So he's like, That's too much financial pressure. You're an idiot. And he's like, The only house you're going to find is a mixer, a fixer, and she doesn't want that.

Something's not nothing. She's not mapping.

It's cold. She hates it. She hates where she is.

I'm putting my foot down.

Oh, Raza, you stepped on this bully.

Sorry, Adam.

Then we go over to- Don't worry, I've just made five more containers of it.

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial.

Then we go over to Amir and Natasha, and they're looking over schedules and stuff, and Amir is like, Hey, there's something I want to talk to you about. I don't really open up about it a lot because I don't want to be like, Boohoo. But I don't know. I have a I'm a witter, witterware, and stuff, and I just don't want people to treat me differently. But Adam said he mentioned a medium, and Natasha is like, No, I mean, you're still far away from being a large, but I think a medium is about your right side. No, no, no. We're actually communing with the other side. He's basically saying it's a weird thing because he doesn't like to cry, and he's afraid of crying. He always apologizes to a therapist, and he's afraid of talking to a medium to his ex-wife and like, should, should Natasha be there? Should she not be there? It's like a thing.

Yeah. You don't want to be talking to the medium, and then you start sobbing when she's like, Oh, the wife is talking about how you still don't do your dishes, and stuff like that. It's also awkward for her, you know what I mean? Because it's like, you're always living in the shadow of this other person. It's not like, what are you going to do? It's not like you can just pretend that never happened. You know what I mean? But to have a whole ass family with somebody and them still to be like, Oh, my God, but what do I do about this feeling for the other? That must be a rough position for her to be in.

It's really fascinating, actually, psychologically, because the way they speak about it is like, If it weren't for her, I never would have met you. I love you so much, but I also love her for what she did for me. Then I understand for him how we can have that duality, but for her, I think it's probably really tricky, which is probably why she's saying she doesn't want to sit in on this because she feels like it's more for Amir, but I feel like it really does in a strange position.

It does because she says at some point, we don't really talk about her that much because he's vocalizing all this stuff now. I mean, there's cameras around and they're like, Okay, you need to talk about this. And so now he's talking about it every episode all the time. Whenever they… He's being open, so I'm not dissing him for doing that. I'm just saying for her, it's an awkward position. It's like, Okay, well, we go from this position where he was coming from a really bad place, and now he's gotten to this place, which is a great place, and we have this family, but he's still now constantly talking about this other thing. So it's got to be a mindfuck for her, too.

Yeah. So then we go to Reza, and he's having beers with Bumshot and Greg, and he's like, Guys, something is really exciting that's going to happen is that we're going to surprise Adam in Palm Springs, and we're going to bring him to the restaurant where we got married. And the guys are like, Okay, that's pretty cool. Because we'll go to a restaurant. And bang.

Sorry. We'll finish. No, they have nothing left to say. Please speak on my behalf. Sorry, I didn't need to do that. But guys, it's going to be crazy because it's going to be this restaurant, and then a drag queen is going to come deliver a rainbow cake to Adam.

I'm like, Are you even a gay person, or are you a person pretending to be gay? Because I've never heard of somebody like, Okay, a gay person, here's what we need for my birthday party, a drag queen and a cake with a rainbow on it. It sounds like somebody's mom being like, My kid just came out of the closet. Let's have a birthday party. Get a drag queen. Get a rainbow cake.

Adam loves it. He's like, Well, you know, this is... I think this sounds like a perfect thing for Adam. To us, we're like, This is just so on the nose. But Adam's like, Oh, my God, it's a rainbow. Please tell me there's tabooley inside the cake. Is this Tupouly with Frosting? My favorite.

And Bamsha, it's like, Oh, okay. Well, it's gay and it's colorful. I like it. Good trip. Sounds good to me. Is my wife going to be there? Because hopefully you have a mic for her to yell at me and call me Illusorid. Have I told you she started calling me the Bomb? Great.

Bomb. Com. Then Tannen and Sky are at the gym, and an ongoing runner so far, these episodes, is a growing rift between the two of them. They start the season like best friends, but every episode, there's something else that's bothering Tannen about Sky. Tannen's like, So are you excited for Palm Springs? She's like, No, not excited at all. Tannen's like, I'm planning it. I remember how I invited you to my trip Remember how I said, Hey, it'll be really fun as if I'm going to plan a trip to Palm Springs and you can come? Remember that? Yeah. Oh, that was a disgusting text. I hated the way it was written. God, who writes text like that?

You're right. You have the penmanship of someone who lives in the valley. I'll just tell you that. Then we go to Amir and Natasha, and they're having dinner. Amir is like, What do you think about the trip? They talk about it, and they talk about bringing the kids. He's like, Well, maybe a hotel would be great. Let's leave the kids at the hotel. He's like, Okay, well, let's leave them at the hotel. So at least they're doing that.

Yeah, then everything. They're, I'm just going to say, absorbed a little bit of wrongdoing with the group trip.

Not really, though, because they bring the kids out every five minutes. It's like, Oh, I'm going to feed the kids. This is a party event. There could be Coke on the tables. Get the kids out of here. That's right.

Then we go to MJ and Tommy's, and Gigi is there, and Vita is looking at the kids. Not looking the kids. Well, she is looking at the kids, but Eli is there. All the kids are playing because Natasha also shows up. So, Vita is on babysitting duty, and everyone's sitting outside. And MJ, something... I don't know. I don't understand what happened here, but there's a pizza that's welded onto some cardboard. Did she put the cardboard into the oven with the pizza? Is that what happened?

Oh, I guess. I don't know. So, they're all outside talking, and the kids are playing. Valley Pizza. And, MJ is like, They're I'm asking where Tommy is, and MJ is like, He went to watch the playoffs. And the kid sees… We see Vida talking to the kids, and she's like, I prefer being inside because there's air conditioning in there. Great. So outside.

She wasn't ridiculing them.

Like, Oh, you got knocked over. You lost your toy. Boo. Wow, wow. Do you know what I went through?

I wish she was telling him, Listen, do you know that you're being babysit by the king ping-pong champion of the world.

Ping-pong champion. Oh, you're sad. You're sad. You want to go outside? Oh, that is such a load of BS, child.

Today, I'm going to teach you lipstick. Come on.

I'll come out with a fit, right? With a strong red lip with a liner.

So Gigi's like, Where's Tommy? And she's like, Yeah, he went to play the past. So she's like, Yeah, I haven't seen Tommy in 20 million years. Where has he been? And they're It's like, What's the reason that Tommy is not around? You all know the reason that Tommy is not around because Tommy was going to go to jail for almost beating the shit out of Reza. That's why. And it's been going on forever. I like that they're like, Okay, well, you got over it, so Tommy has to get over it. No. Right.

I think that Gigi is also like, I'm friends with Tommy. I'm not Reza. He doesn't have to be scared of me. It's one thing to not want to hang around when Reza is there, but he can come over now. It's just me and Natasha. It doesn't even know Natasha, right?

Yeah, but Gigi wasn't great to MJ either. Gigi She was really mean to MJ that last couple of years, too. She was teaming up right with Reza. She didn't say the abortion stuff, but she was still right there with Reza. I think Tommy is like, Fuck these people. These are toxic, awful, horrible people who ruined your life and tried to ruin our relationship and were completely unsupported when you needed them the most. I'm not going to be friends with them. That's it. If you want to go shoot your little TV show, go ahead, lady, but I'm not a part of it, which is fine, but also a good a job.

And that, too. Natasha asked if Tommy's coming to Palm Springs, and it's like, No. Gigi's like, So your friends are your friends, and his friends are in New York. Is that what you're saying? And MJ is like, Yeah, well, he likes you a lot. She's like, Well, then why the fuck doesn't he come around? My man, I mean, we come around here. And he's basically like… Gigi's like, yeah, that's… I get to be with him. I'll be the 11th with the wheel once again this weekend. When I'm with Tommy, we share a bed together. But You know, and he's great, but at the same time, I don't get any doting. I don't get any affection, I don't get a hand on my ass or a kiss on the cheek. We used to be so into each other. Now, whenever he's home, he's just distancing, and there's no bonding, and it's sad.

Yeah. Then she was like, Well, what about his past with Resin, Adam? Mj says, Yeah, I think he can be cordial. She's like, But why can't he reestablish something or not have to establish something, Mercedes? But he needs to be there by your side because he knows that you want him to be at that moment. Why won't he be there?

Yeah. No, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. She was like, And Gigi is saying how this really seems to be affecting Mercedes. She goes, It reminds me of my situation. My friends, they all know Dennis. So when that happened to me, it happened to all of us. And I need to let them know that he's back in the picture, so I just don't know what to do. I was like, This It had nothing to do with Dennis. And the Dennis situation was so petty and stupid. And it was like a Gigi. This is a marriage that was built on a lot of love that is being torn apart by reality TV. And yours was a marriage for reality TV, basically, without the cameras. Yeah, exactly.

She's like, Yeah, I have to let them know he's back in the picture, but I just don't know how to do it. They all cheers the weekend. Then we go to… Wait, what happened with the kids? Gigi started…

Basically, the The kids were playing outside, and Natasha was like, Roman, Roman, don't do that. That's not how we do that in someone else's house. Then Sham's like, It's okay. He can do it anyway.

Get away, bitch.

She's like, Oh, okay. Sorry. Now we go to Reson Adam and they're packing. Adam's like, I'm going to bring our wood cutting board because I want this to be a wild vacation. We're bringing cutting boards, guys. Let's get loose.

Why are you bringing a cutting board? What the heck? Who brings a cutting board on a vacation, honey?

Tabooley, man. Tabooley.

Oh, God. Jesus Christ.

The Tabooley.

Don't you want the rush of straight up Tabooley in your veins?

I can't wait until someone this season finally tells Adam that tabooly is not a Persian dish. And just watch the blood drain out of his face because Vrezza is apparently too nice to tell him. But, girl, better work on some yellow rice. Commercials.

Here comes one right now.

So now they're driving and they're heading out to Palm Springs, and Skye really wants to get Erwan. She's like, So we're going to Erwan? So, question, instead of Palm Springs, why don't we just all go to Erwan and then go home after 45 minutes? That seems like fun time, right?

She's like, We're not going to Erwan, okay? They're like, Well, what did Greg drive? Why isn't Greg with us? She's like, He's in the Porsche, the GT3. He's like, Oh, I'm going to come back with him. That sounds good to me. I'll go in the guy car. Tana is like, Yeah, I'm driving a Sky and Bomshod because Greg already went to Palm Springs to set everything up. We just argue all the time when he's driving. I can't do it. I will not drive with him. I just drive myself anyway, so whatever. Where are you even with this guy? Isn't the Porsche your new car that he got you? It is.

Yeah, but apparently, Greg complains all the time when they're driving. Sky is She's like, By the way, do you think I should just bring up the Golden Nessa situation? Should I talk to her about it? Because she smoked weed at my house, and I just don't want her to act weird or lose her cool. Then we see Gigi's driving with MJ and Reza Jackson. Gigi is saying, she's like, Oh, my God! I hate it when people don't use their blinkers. Okay? Which is funny because I never would have seen Gigi as someone adherent to blinker etiquette. I would have thought she'd be like, Whatever. I was changing my lanes. I'm thinking that people would understand that. But she said, She's like, They didn't use their blinker. God damn it.

Now Adam and Reza are driving their car, and they're talking about Tommy. Adam's like, Did you see when Tommy, when we left? Because I went up and I said hello to him, and then I gave him a little shoulder bump because his hands were full.

Oh, wow. That's very sweet of you, my love.

But do you see the tension in Reza's face? Like, Oh, my God.

Do not make me be friends with Tommy again, please.

He's like, Well, I hope it was a nice icebreaker for him to feel comfortable to come and hang I was not with us at some point. I even told him, Listen, we changed all of our potted plants in the front. Now, they're in a rubber pot. So if you can throw them all you want, they'll just bounce.

Speaking of icebreakers, could we just pull over to get some ice? My shoulder's a little sore from that shoulder bump. It hurt.

He was really rough. So, Gigi, MJ, and Reza Jackson in their car. Yeah, when Tommy was dropping you off, I was just shocked to see Adam go out of his way and say, Hey, Tommy, and then they bumped their elbows. I was like, Oh, my God, no one even used a blinker for that. They could have hurt somebody.

But it also was a little weird that when Adam bumps shoulders with Tommy, Adam went, Gigi, no. I was like, I wasn't even touching you.

He must have PTSD.

Then he started hitting himself in the face with the thorn as of roses. It was really weird. I don't know what's up with that guy.

Mj is saying that she doesn't really know what fear and Reza carries about this reconciliation with Tommy or whatever, because it was so dark, especially for people who really didn't watch those last few seasons. There was a restraining order. Reza was suing. He actually wanted Tommy to get put in jail. It was felony counts, et cetera. It was really, really bad. The things that Reza said that preceded it were horrible things. It was a dark and terrible nadir for these two friends. Mj is just saying, she just wishes someone or something that I could just toss him in the ring and be like, Bro, it's going to be okay. She basically is saying, I know. Just get together with Reza, and you'll see it's okay, and then we can build from there, and we'll let Let Bargans be Bargans. She goes, And there's a beautiful pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow. Actually, we swap that with a pot of tabulia. I hope that's okay.

Now everybody gets to Palm Springs, and the kids are there, and they all start going in and picking rooms and stuff. Of course, Gigi runs in first and gets the biggest room for herself. Reza is putting jalapenos in a beer. He's putting an entire jalapeno in a beer. I mean, this guy's bold.

It is bold. By the way, there's something that I would like to get to the bottom of that I feel like is never explained, and maybe I missed it, so maybe you can clarify this for me. Why Why does Reza have a big yellow stain in the middle of his white shirt for the whole episode? What happened? Bravo is so good about continuity. Do we know what got spilled? Was there a mustard incident on the road? Did you see that yellow stain? It was driving me nuts.

I didn't notice. No.

Oh, my God. Right in the center of his shirt, I was like, something spilled. We need to get to the bottom of this. Reza does not walk around with a yellow stain on his outfit, ever.

I don't know. Reza's changed. We saw his kitchen.

No Chevron.

No shevrons. Something's something's going on.

Straight lines. No more anger lines.

I feel like this is the week that gays are getting attacked for their kitchens on Bravo, too, because we're the ones doing it. I'm the one doing it on this show. But then there was Southern Charm, that storyline this week. It's a big time. Gays, get your kitchens in order. Okay?

We'll never write a lot of media award. You're really holding our fellow gays.

I don't think we had a chance. We didn't have a chance to that anyway. So Skye's like, Oh, of course. For some reason, we get the smallest and the ugliest of the yuck room. It's the yuck room. That's where we live. We might as well be back home in the valley.

She hates it because she walks in. She's like, Oh, it smells in here. And Tana's like, I mean, even if it smells terrible, to say it right away when you walk in, she is just stupid. She's very, very stupid.

Reza was like, If my friend had set up a trip to Palm Springs and invited me and I wasn't paying for the house, I wouldn't lead with complaints.

I was like, You would, Reza, 100%.

You'd be like, Bitches be like getting bad AirBnB where the BnB stands for Bitches Not Buying Good Homes. Am I right? Bitches be getting bad BnBs. What are you putting me in a rest stop bathroom? Is that the bedroom that I'm getting on this trip? Is my pillow going to be a urinal cake? Like, what's going on? Palm Springs is so special to us, and you would get this offer I'm a shitty home. I hate it here. But we are family, and we will get through it. I love all of you guys here, even if you were paying high interest rates against my advice.

So Bomshot is getting hungry. He's just searching for any food that he can get. And R. J. Is like, So, how was your car ride? Was it the same vibe? What was your car ride like? Was it good? Tell me all about it.

Tannen is traumatized by riding with Dom Shott inside the car because he is a complainy-complainy back seat driver. He's like, When are we there? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Can we get food? Can we go? No. Can we go to Fud Rockers? No. Can we go to Target? No. Can we go anywhere? I'm bored. I'm bored.

So now MJ is wishing out him a happy birthday in the bedroom. They're going to do some birthday shots, and Gigi's like, I have a question because the kids are in the back. Is there another area or an outside area where I can go in this house to maybe have a smoke or something? Because I really need to have a smoke. There were so many people on the road who really don't know how to make turns.

So, sky. Sky tells her to go to the front. There's a swing that she could go on. And then she tells us, I am a strong woman, and strong woman don't need to do cat fight. We didn't do them, that I'm not scared of anyone. I'm like, I don't think this was a cat fight moment, but that's fine.

But then she goes out there. She's going to confront Gigi, and she knows that confronting Gigi can lead to a knife fight. So she's like, I'm going to confront her, and I'm not going to fight. She goes out, and Gigi's calm. She got Gigi in a good mood.

Because she's also smoking a blunt. Yeah.

Well, that could still go anyway with Gigi. Gigi says that calms her down, but we haven't really seen a ton of proof that that's the truth. So Sky goes out. It's like, I would love to share something with you. Hate the valley, hate my husband. But otherwise, last time you came to my house, kids were upstairs and you were smoking weed. She's like, I I do want you to know that whether it's about me or whether it's about me smoking weed or whether it's about me having a dildo business that does really well or my OnlyFans or whatever it is, you can talk to me. Even if you're just constipated, I'm a very easy person to talk to, okay? I respond well to honesty and openness with people. But I'm sorry, I just wasn't paying attention.

It was actually shocking. Well, first of all, everything Gigi is saying is true. She's been very well documented about being easy to talk to and responding very well to honesty and confrontation. She's just great with that. But what was shocking was she goes, But sorry about that. I was like, Whoa.

That is something we've never heard.

It was just like a normal... It was actually a very nice normal scene amongst adults, which is like, Oh, yeah, sorry about that. My bad. And then everything was fine. So then Skye's like, Well, for some reason, I thought you were going to lose your cool. She's like, No, I don't lose my cool with people being honest and straightforward. I lose my cool with people being fake and bullshit and lying and talking behind my back and those types of things. I'm smoking weed. I got the munchies. Let's go back inside. I'm cool Gigi today.

Just wait because I don't know if you've seen the previews yet, but I really eat you a new one soon. So go back and enjoy your comfort while you think you have it.

Maybe she's not good behavior because she knows she's going to ambush everyone with Dennis later in the evening.

Oh, maybe. Yeah, she's already got her drama planned out for the evening. Yes. So now inside, Adam's like, Guys, tabooie. Jesus.

And so, Rez was like, Guys, hopefully before the end of the trip, it's going to be Reza, Jacks, and Gonesa, Jacks, you guys should have sex. Then Gigi and Scott come back in. They pretend like they were having a fight, but they didn't have a fight, guys. Tana She goes, Guys, can I quickly say something? Okay. I just have a little surprise coming in. It's a tide stick for Reza. Okay? Everyone gather around. We're going to do this together as a family. All right, let's fix that, that shirt.

She talks about how she wanted… She's been wanting to connect with a medium since her father passed away. She heard about this amazing medium and got her off Instagram. Let's see what happens. Then she announces that there's going to be a medium. And then Tasha's like, Oh, God, I don't know that Amir is expecting this. I don't know that this is exactly the right time to do this. And he's like, Yeah, I don't want to be emotionally triggered. So can I say something? No. To the people who will potentially have sex tonight, I brought pineapple juice for all of you because that makes your vagina smell good. And R.

J. Is like, Amazing.

Oh, Vanessa Jackson.

So Then they start dancing, and then there's some guacamole happening, and Reza makes some guac for MJ, and they're going to go have a whole talk.

Reza is saying, Mercedes and I have been friends since we were teenagers, and she started going to Beverly Hills High School, and I was like, It's love at first sight. I can't wait to undermine this girl for the rest of our lives. I can't wait to out her for forging checks. It was instantly super close. I a lot of regrets. I wish I could turn back time. And I wish Mers had never fought with me, but it did, and I'm hot-headed, and my dad had a temper, and I'm a Leo, so get over it.

So MJ is like, Okay, look, Tommy dropped me off, and I just want the opportunity for you guys to be like, Hey, what's up?

Well, if I see him come around, I want to avoid him because I feel like I don't want to trigger him.

And she's like, Yeah, but I don't think he does have that animosity, but he's very much on an island. I was like, By the way, MJ, just want to just revise that a little bit. He does have that animosity. He really does.

He 100% has the animosity, yeah. What part of, I hate that motherfucker, and I never want to see him again. Is not animosity. I broke his parts.

I wanted to break his skull.

So she's like, Yeah, but I just have a wish that everybody can get along. We can have an ice-breaking ceremony.

And he's like, Well, do you think it's just breaking the ice so we can tolerate it? Or do you think Tommy is open to being friends? Because that's a big deal. One day I would like to tell Tommy, Don't buy property in Los Angeles with me.

She's like, Yeah, no, just icebreaker. That's toleration. Let's just shoot for toleration. And she also says stuff about all his friends are in Queens, so he's alone and he's hard and you're a skittle. And he's like, I'm not in a negative in place with Tommy, and I don't have any ill will, even though he did break a cactus, which was expensive.

But I've moved on, and my ultimate wish is obviously to be in a better place. I see Mercedes living her life as a single married woman, and if it takes me putting myself in a difficult, uncomfortable situation, I guess that's what has to be done because I am a martyr.

Yeah, and he cries. He says that watching her care for her, Dad helped her, and watching you as a wife and a mother and a businesswoman and someone who can eat tabooly and not tell my husband it's not even person.

You're such a good person. You're such a good person.

Stuff is happening. Stuff is happening in the kitchen. Everyone's playing around. It's like fun and games and everything. And now everyone gathers in the living room because the medium is going to come in. And the lady comes in, and her name is Tiffany. The first thing she says is, I'm getting a strong female energy, which is a bit open. It's a bit of a vagary there. So, R. J. Is like, Oh, maybe it's my grandmother. And then she starts saying, You are a natural entertainer. She's like, Do you dance professionally, or did you dance professionally? He's like, Oh, get out of here. Wow, that's crazy. She's saying, Yeah, I'm getting a sense of a Michael Jackson song song, and I see you doing that infamous lean. You're leaning in. Did you practice doing that?

Yeah, she literally says, She shows me that you did a compilation of Michael Jackson songs, and I see you doing the infamous lean. I mean, that's pretty crazy.

That was so specific, and I was like, Okay. And then he goes, Yeah, actually, my dad created an apparatus with her hands where I could put my feet in and I could lean forward so I could do the lean. I was like, Okay, this is crazy because I don't believe that that's something that you Google, and I don't feel like he's like, I don't think this is a situation we told one person, and the person told the producer. Unless maybe it's a story he told the producers, and the producer told the psychic. But that's crazy.

Yeah, that was nuts. And then they make him do the Michael Jackson dance and stuff. So he does that. And so Tiffany's like, Okay, you I'm like, Oh, MJ, I think it's your dad, and I'm seeing rings. And she's like, Oh, my God. My dad gave me a ring, and I gave it to my son. And I was like, You can't take this out of the house. But then he did take it out of the house, and he lost the ring, and then he cried. And he cried for an hour and a half. Then it ended up being in his shoe, and it wasn't even lost. She goes, No, no, no. A ring camera. Tommy is throwing a plant.

Then she looks at Reza. She goes, Reza, your dad has passed as well. Were you the first in your family to get a white car?

He's like, Oh.

Then he tells a story about how he wanted a convertible. He wanted a black BMW, and his dad was like, You're getting a white 535 Why?

He forced me to get a white car. How did you know?

And that, for anybody who does not know, is very Persian. It's a very Persian thing to have a white BMW or white Mercedes, especially Mercedes. My friend Mike, who's Persian, one of my besties, is always We're always talking about that and laughing because all these friends show up. Every time we have a big event and it's all his Persian friends come, it's all these white Mercedes and BMWs falling out.

It's so funny.

It's like, he made me get a white one. I didn't even want one. And he said, Black? No. White? That's so Persian.

Yeah. So he says that his dad had dementia. And so it's nice. He feels comforted thinking or imagining that his dad is in a better place, in a better state. And channeling through this medium, I told you so about the car. Yeah. So then, now it's time to talk about Tannen, and Tiffany is saying... This is more generic. She's saying, Well, I know you guys didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but you need to know he loved you, and you're always daddy's girl. I was like, Okay, that one. That one's whatever. That's classic psychic stuff. That one was not as exciting to me, but the others were great.

Then she gets to Omir, finally. She's like, I feel a strong energy coming from you, and Natasha starts crying. She's like, Okay, it was a sudden passing, and I think it's a younger female suddenly passing. Natasha's getting nervous, and Tiffany says… When she comes through, she just says, You need to know I love you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go when I did, and everyone's crying now. Now she's acknowledging a wedding. Is this your wife? He's like, Yeah. Then she goes, Because she loves you. She loves you. She thinks you're a great wife, and she says you're a good fit for him. She's also showing me that it was unexpected when she passed. He said that, Yeah, she had cancer, but it wasn't like a hospital bed or anything. She just collapsed and passed away.

Yeah, that's so sad. This is all... This is very nice. Then she's saying, I'm getting something about a giraffe. Does your daughter like girafs? The daughter loves girafs. This is the dead wife playing with the daughter through the giraffe and everything. It's like everyone's crying, and I'm sitting there and watched like... I was practically crying, too.

I wasn't because I was like, How many mediums are we going to have in one week? Enough. Enough with all of our dead relatives. Just leave me alone. I'm watching Bravo. Can Can I enjoy myself? Can we fight each other now? What the fuck?

It was all this stuff. She's telling me, I'm with you. I'm happy. I'm proud of you. This was also actually a bit standard psychic stuff. I'm proud of you. I love your choices. You're doing the right things. I'm with you, and da da da da da da. But you can see it's very comforting to them, and it's still an emotional situation to be in. When you said that she just collapsed and died, that was so heartbreaking.

There's hugs. I'm like, when she was like, Guys, I'm seeing someone I'm through. This is for someone named Tree? I don't know, but it's an older man, and he's saying, Give me back my pajamas. Wrong show. Wrong show, okay. It's just like a general bravo.

No, no. Just accidentally winds up. He's like, I chatted the wrong person.

He's waving an octopus in the air. I'm not sure.

There. Took a wrong turn.

Sorry. Okay, so now there is a song playing, Once You Go Person, Baby, Ain't No Other Version. That's what I like. And now, I'm Jay FaceTimes Tommy, and he's like, Yeah, I'm having the best time. It's just play-off. I'm with the kid. She's like, Yeah, but while you're home relaxing, I'm just trying to say Reza and I got to a place where it's respectful, and maybe there's an icebreaker coming, and he's like, No, this is where I am. I'm hanging with my kid. I ain't doing nothing beyond this, so forget it. But you can forgive each other. He's like, No, love you. Hope you have fun. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow. I'm going to watch this movie with my kid. Leave me the fuck alone. Reza has a level of comfortability that he talks to my wife in public that I just don't accept. I'd rather not partake.

For me, on Monday, you said terrible things, but Tuesday, we're going to go to lunch.

That's not how I operate because I have lunch plans with Vita where I say, You're fucking crazy, Vita. Okay, so lunch is off the table.

I'll always keep him at arm's length, and I'm talking big arms, like Mr..

Met arms. That's just me.

That's how I operate.

I already got one crazy. I already got one crazy lady in my life. I don't need to. All right, leave me alone. Then MJ is about to cry over it. Then we see Gigi coming out already and RJ being like, Oh, yeah, so hot. Like, Guys, I'm not believing you two. Just don't even try for the show. It's not worth it. Nobody needs it. Now we go to dinner. It's Adam's birthday. They give him a cheers. The guys are wondering who's got the good cologne because the entire restaurant is turning around to smell it. Greg's like, Oh, yeah, I have a natural fairmone that lures women in. They call me 2: 00 in the morning.

Tannen's like, It's a fairmone called Gross. That's what it's called. Adam's like, By the way, is anything happening with you and R. J. G. G? Oh, my God. I ship you guys. And she's like, We're in Palm Springs. It's 127 degrees. I cannot even think about fucking this man right now. And Rez was like, Yeah, but what does that have to do with R.

J. Nibbling on your titties?

So they get to this restaurant, 849. This is where they got married. And Adam's like, So this year, Rez and I will be married for 10 10 years, and we'll be together for 15 and making tabooly for three. So it's a really special anniversary for us.

He brings out the best in me. He has the best temperament. If I were married to me, we'd be shooting a daylight special. But one of us would be in jail, and the other one would be like, Bitches would be dead because I killed the other me, and other me wins over other me. Oh my God. Bitches be winning.

So Gigi has been calling Natasha, and she's not answering. And they're like, She's got babies. Leave her alone. And Raza is like, Oh my God, I'm seriously impressed.

She's got three under six. I'm going to say that a lot because it's the valley. And they're the nice couple. Three under six.

So Gigi is like, You guys, the medium went in on the situation with a mirror. I wanted to hug him so many times, and they start talking about that and everything.

All of a sudden, you hear this like, bang, bang, bang, bang, raps on the table. They're like, Whoa. It was like the traitor's someone coming in at breakfast. I got a bag full of dildos here. Who wants one? They're like, Oh, God, where'd this fucking guy come from? At first, they're thinking he just happens to be in Palm Springs.

And Reza is like, What the fuck is he doing here? Dennis and Gwenaesa got married, and then there was a huge betrayal. He bought a house at 7% interest.

He didn't use his blinker, but I got over it, so they need to get over it. And R. J. Is like, he paints this whole picture of Dennis being the villain, but she's also the villain, and she admitted to hooking up with Dennis just to get back at her ex. So they're just playing each other's games. Wow.

So he joins them for dinner, and they're like, What the fuck is this guy doing? So you just came up and they're like, So is this all it takes, goal, Nessa? I mean, what the hell? He sent you a Mother's Day text. That's all you need? And she's like, No, I mean, yeah, he did. But then I started unloading on him, and I went outside, and I threatened to punch a wall. And then we went back inside, and they were mopping the other walls, and we talked in person, and it all worked out.

By the way, were you as surprised as I was that Dennis had hair? I just assumed he was bald. There was part of me that wonders, is that a unit that he has on top of his head? Because it looks like focaccia. It literally looks like a nice brown focaccia on his head walking around.

It might be because I think he's drawing in his eyebrows. There's a lot odd on with this guy.

Yeah. So, MJ is like, As someone who cares about Golnesa, I don't like the way you stepped in and out of her life so quickly without any explanation. Because I've been there with you, Dennis, since Elijah's third, fourth, birthday, and that's what I'm talking about. I want you to know the reason it was easy for me to ice you out and ghost you is because I thought what you did to Golnesa was cruel. So, for you to just slide into this dinner spot with us is zero accountabilities. Yeah, I did learn how to call someone out at a table on The Trader's. Congratulations. It's new MJ.

He was like, Well, I mean, come on, but let me ask you something. Were you there for the first 13 years when she was horrible to me and was she tweeting me like, Shit, where were you guys? Oh, then why'd you marry her? Shut up. And they're not your friends. And Gigi's like, I was not tweeting you like, Shit, for 13 years. And he's like, Hold on, Gigi. Hold on. Let me take care of this. And Reza goes, But she's my homie.

I'm not your homie. Why am I going to stick up for too. If she commits a crime and I'm in the courtroom, she's my homie. I either forgot, I was looking the other way when the gun went off. What?

Mj is like, I want you to be accountable for today, 2025, also known as 2025. I don't want to go back to 2015. He's like, Why? Because I don't like the way that you're casual and unaccountable for the things that you were doing to people that you claimed to care about. He's like, Okay, that's how you feel. I don't feel that way. I It's just funny because they're having a whole confrontation with this guy. But to us as the viewers, this is an unearned fight, and we're just like, Oh, this is the guy who's sitting here, and they're already just like… They're telling him how it is. They're sassing him off, but we only just learned that they don't like him 10 minutes ago. So I'm like, Okay, I guess we're supposed to be fired up by this.

And Gigi is like, Well, 127% of me is enjoying all of this because it's like a fuck you to Dennis. For him to understand, I'm not the only one who thinks it was fucked up. And Dennis is like, Look, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. That's all you can say for the life of people with wigs on their head. I still don't feel what I did was wrong. I mean, that girl wasn't a friend, so who cares if I fucked her? What an idiot this guy is. He's completely missing the point. So MJ is like, Okay, but you still left her. And he's like, So? Then she goes, So you got together with somebody two seconds later? Okay. And then you shacked up, and then you put rings on Instagram. I mean, the way you look for the grand, that's something else. And that's coming from a Shah. And what does marriage What does that mean to you that you get engaged four times in one year?

Honestly, I don't even care. That's my understanding. There you go. That's it. That's all it is. It's like, what? And JJ is like, what? So everyone's horrified that he doesn't even care about this. And MJ goes, that's what the problem is. And this guy is like, my question is, why are you here? I know why I'm here. I got dragged here, and for a moment, I thought it might actually be better than the fucking valley, but it's actually worse. But why did you choose to come join us? And who are you even?

Why are Do you know where there's an Erwan?

If you're leaving soon, can I bum a ride with you?

He's like, Look, you guys have been asking me questions. I already had this conversation with Golnesa. And Archie is like, Wait, hold on. She knew you were coming? Yes, dummy. Are you just... Hello. So they're all appalled.

And Risa is like, You're going to bring Dennis and not tell anybody? Are you nuts? It was my husband's birthday. You know how big of a deal this was going to be for me? I'm pissed, bitch. This is crazy. You almost ruined Adam's happy to bully day. You almost ruined Adam's non-milestone birthday at a restaurant where he got a cake with nice Frosting.

Adam's like, I'm bothered you didn't tell me this was coming because I would have made a larger bowl of Tabooly. She's like, Well, I didn't want to tell anybody because I wanted to have a scene. He's back in my life and we're going to start working. At some point, he has to come across to all of you, and he has to address you and Reza and MJ at some point. I thought this would be the moment that we would do it. Now they're like, Oh, my God. But Amir and Natasha show up, and they're the nice ones. It's like, Okay. So Gigi starts like, The vibe changes, and Gigi is like, You guys are goals for marriage. Oh, my God. Then they realize that there's tension at the table. So Amir was like, Oh, my God. We came at the worst time. And Intendon's like, No, no. You came at a good time. There's some stupid person at the table with focaccia on his head starting shit. But honestly, it's really boring.

Yeah. So out comes the drag queen with the rainbow cake, and they sing the birthday song to him and stuff. And Gigi's like, Oh, my God, you guys, if he smashes the cake in Dennis' face, will that be good payback? Should we do that? And Arjai is like, Don't do that. That's aggressive.

Dennis, I feel like how I feel because she was so hurt and I experienced her hurt. She slashed my tires when she was mad at you.

He's like, I understand that, but you guys ambush me. He's like, No, we didn't ambush you.

You ambushed us. Look, I'm bouncing in my chair like Baby Shams was when he was one years old and I didn't get to see him.

He's like, If she's okay with me being here, then you guys should be okay. And MJ is like, No, it's not okay. So Gigi says, Well, I think that they need to realize that you're going to be back in my life, whether we're working friends or whatever we are. And what I'm asking you is if you're comfortable with me telling them my side of this since you already got to tell your side. Now I want to tell my side. Man, I don't want you piping in because you're going to start piping in if you start telling your side, and I'm not going to be able to take you piping. Now Gigi is getting herself all worked out for nothing. She's mad.

And so he's like, And now are you comfortable? She goes, It's either or yes or no. I was like, What are you guys? Why is it happening? Why are you screaming about this? And the drag queen is like, Oh. And so Dennis is like, Okay, well, tell your side first so you don't retaliate on what I said, because I don't want you to go piggybacking off what I'm saying, because you say you're first, and I'm always the fucking retaliation, bro, so go fuck with whatever. It's best to like, You go first. No, you go first, because I don't want you to have to say what I said.

Serena is like, Did you not see the cake? There was a gay rainbow, and it was in the shape of a heart, and the heart had to bully on it. A drag queen brought it. This is sacrilegious. Keep the straight nonsense at home.

And she's just like, I don't I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight. I just want to smoke. I just want to smoke. What are you even mad at? You caused all this, and now you're mad at nothing, you crazy pamp.

This two-bit improv scene that was happening.

That's where it is. She says she's mad because Dennis won't take accountability. I'm like, Neither will you, you fucking weirdo. My God, she's so annoying. But she's keeping it moving, I guess.

She's trying. She's trying. But, yeah, that was the episode. We'll see what happens next week. Well, next week, they get into a car accident while they go racing cars. Great. We will see how that turns out. Thanks, everyone, for being here. We love you all. Have a great weekend. Go check out our Patreon. Go buy tickets to the Crappies. We will talk to you again on Monday. Bye.

Bye.

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