Transcript of #662 - Matt Rife New

This episode is sponsored by Mountain Dew. Look for American Dew limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at mountaindew.com. I want to tap in right here and let you know, if you are somebody that, that enjoys merchandise, then we got a few summer essentials for you over there in the shop. Uh, we got those Gang Gang tote bags and we got some trucker hats. With that foam back, that mesh back, so you can, you know, you can get them wet, you can get them dry, baby. You know what I'm talking about. You can get them wet and dry. Uh, check them all out if you want that. If you, uh, if you do, um, thank you so much. Uh, it's, it's available at theovonstore.com. And, um, thank you to anybody, uh, who's ever been supportive in any way. Amen. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, uh, and an actor Um, he's, he's pretty much— he's the Tim Burton of Rhode Island. I think that's safe to say. He's got a new show coming out later this year on Netflix called The Altruists. Um, we're thankful to have him. This is his first time being here, and, um, he's had quite a journey, uh, and we're just— we're excited.

Uh, today's guest is Mr. Matt Rife. How we doing here?

Looking good, dude.

Looking all right. Yeah, I just want to make sure I look fucking BLM adjacent.

What?

I just want to make sure that I look, uh, BLM adjacent. Yeah, I want to look BLM adjacent.

Like you wouldn't protest yourself, you'd help make the signs?

I just want them to know that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'll pull up, you know what I'm saying?

100%.

But I'm not getting crazy out there.

No, no, like, I'll, I'll hit the barbecue, but I'm not hitting the march, you know? Yeah, dude, it's got to be a line.

Yeah, because the BLM march also, I think it just got too— I don't know, it came at a good time in my life.

I had just gotten a Whoop bracelet, so I was all about my steps at that time.

Oh, for the BLM marches?

Yeah, it was kind of right on time.

Oh, that's a great point, dude. People don't think about— dude, I wouldn't be surprised, and this is a conspiracy theory, a lot of those were like BLM marches and like probably the, you know, I don't know if also maybe like the George Floyd protest, that was all kind of the same thing, I think.

Yeah, I think so.

But, um, were the, were the BLM marches and stuff, was all that part of like just big propaganda for like the Whoop bracelet and some of those companies?

Is that a real conspiracy that people would think it was just for the fitness aspect?

I don't know. Let's look that up on Perplexity if you can, dude. Or what are they saying? Is there Because all I'm saying is that's smart. That's smart. Do we put out this thing? People need their steps. How do we get them outdoors?

It's a black bracelet. I'm just saying, the bracelet could have been any color.

Hey, you said it.

That's way too early in the pod for that.

I mean, bro, this pod's been through a lot, so I know, man.

I'm so happy we finally make it happen.

I think we'll be fine, dude. Me too, man. Good to see you, dude.

Good to see you too, man.

Wow, I forget, dude. No, there's no credible evidence that the BLM marches were a conspiracy to sell Whoops. What? Which is a little slangish, I feel like, for, uh, for perplexity. Or that the protests themselves were pre-planned as a fake operation. Huh. What is true is that the 2020 protests happened in response to the George Floyd killing, and like many large demonstrations, that included a mix of peaceful marches and some incidents of violence, looting, and misinformation.

I gotta tell you, man, you're, you're very good at reading out loud.

You think?

Your cold read skills are incredible. Really? Oh yeah, I was stumbling over those words not even saying it out loud. Yeah, that was very impressive.

I'm just glad to know that you don't have every skill, dude, because when you like— because you were like, dude, you kind of— you made things difficult on a lot of us, bro, when you were like the good-looking comedian, dude.

And first of all, were hurt a lot. That, that was the— that was the meanest part of the sentence.

Sorry, bro.

Fuck.

Sorry. You changed a lot, bro, when you became— you just changed the whole role. It was like because comedy was a safe place for like kind of regular looking dudes who didn't have that thing, bro, who couldn't really go around, who couldn't just walk up to a woman and be like, ta-da!

That's not true. You literally have that. Everybody knows that.

No. Yes, dude, that's— I thank you.

No, man, amongst the comedy community, you're a piece of ass, dude. Everybody knows this.

This is not true.

That's absolutely true. You got to get out and ask more.

Well, I mean, I, I, I, I, I mean, I don't think so. But what I do know is there's a— there's only a few No, you did it, bro. You were like, oh my God. And people, dude, I remember a lot of comedians, a lot of us were—

we wouldn't even go out of our houses for months after I came onto the scene. Yeah, I started doing push-ups.

Oh yeah, people were like, ah, we were making noises we'd never even made before, like primal urges. Yeah, yeah, we didn't even know what to do, dude. We're buying beer and just smashing the cans and just all kinds of shit. People were just drinking Dr Pepper and just like touching themselves in parks and stuff. People didn't know how to operate. They didn't know how to operate, brother. Um, but yeah, dude, anyway, good to see you, bro. I'm just kind of giving you a hard time.

No, likewise, man. I've seen you forever.

I know. Congrats on all your success and everything, bro.

Thank you so much.

So cool.

It's wild, dude.

It's a lot. It, it's a lot. Yeah. You know what, we did talk one time. Hold on, I'm not even done with this yet. Is it— is it— does it bug you that I say the good-looking comedian thing? Does that bug you at all or no?

That doesn't bother— it doesn't bother me. It bothers other people, I suppose.

It does? You think?

I get shit for it all the time. People act like I'm the one walking around saying it.

Oh yes, that's the weird part, bro. No, dude. Yeah, because it was like, what do you mean? Because first you heard rumors as a guy and he's, he's doing comedy and it's good and he's, and he's good looking and people are like, what do you mean? People are calling their grandfathers. Grandfather's— why? And your grandpa be like, what do you mean? And his bracelet would fucking start you know, not good, not good, call Edna now, like report to grandmother.

I didn't realize I was affecting families, dude.

You were just— it was just a lot for people, bro. Um, sorry, because people had never seen that. The, you know, this is like, there's a— there's some people that have like skill, like a skill, and then another skill. Like, people are surprised when somebody has one skill and then they also have something else. It's almost like, um Like Justin Tucker, do you know who that is for Baltimore? The Baltimore Ravens kicker.

Can you bring him up?

Yeah, yeah, he's in— I believe he's a— is he an opera singer? He's a mezzo—

he's a singer.

He's a singer.

No way.

So we got that leg and that throat, bro.

Just a full body powerhouse.

Yeah. They said it would take a man 40 years to get out of this here prison, but Andy Dufresne did it in less than 20. Bro, props to Justin Tucker. I mean, that's beautiful.

What do you think is the bigger flex, being an NFL punter or having that kind of skill set to opera sing?

I think that you get— you— the NFL punter is just a mild thing that he's doing.

It's a hobby. Yeah, just to pay the bills while he pursues.

Bro, when you got that kind of lung in you, bro, and you out there just— he's just all lungs.

You ever try? You ever try to sing like that? Like, just be like, I wonder if I can?

Yeah, I think I have, probably. Have you?

Yeah, of course. It's always like when you're in your car, you turn the radio down, you turn the volume down just enough to hear yourself. You're like, am I fucking this up? Then you can hear yourself. You're like, I'm fucking ruining this song. Like, I know I don't have it in me because you have to try eventually. You don't know what skill set you might have. Yeah, like I was watching—

that's a good point. Yeah, you don't know what skill set you might have, right? And who even ever even tries? How many people could be like, they never even tried? That's unbelievable. Yeah, like, what? Yeah, like, are there things you've tried? Are there some side quests that you've kind of tried?

You know what? I feel like I've been so busy, I haven't had time to really explore a lot of other avenues. But I'd like to learn stuff. I'd love to learn like an instrument or something, or fucking magic, dude.

Yeah.

You fuck with magic?

I mean, I think it's, you know, I'm kind of like, that's where the Black in me shows up at the surface, bro. When people start doing a lot of magic, you know?

Like, it feels like it could be too real?

It just like, what if this dude's doing this right here? What's he doing in his all, in his, you know what I'm saying? If he's willing to show us this.

Yeah.

What's he doing at the house? That's a good point.

But also picturing somebody learning magic in their house by themself is also one of the funniest things I can imagine. I can't picture anything lonelier. Nobody around to see your voilà or your kazam or whatever your fucking power word is.

Voilà.

I don't know. Is that not a magician word? Is that like a chef? Is that chef shit?

That's a good question, bro. Yeah. Do chefs and magicians beef over their, like, over their like verbal like ejaculate or whatever it's called. Or like, they're like, dude, chefs and magicians beef over like their— what is it called, do you think, Matt?

They're like, they're, um, it's not deliver— they are— it is a delivery, but like finishing syllables, kind of finishing syllables. Yes. Is onomatopoeia?

Yeah, that's what it is. I think it is.

Is that like the word for sounds?

Yeah, bring that up. Onomatopoeia, dude. Onomatopoeia was like some kid that couldn't read good that had to go to the toilet or whatever. I remember that. We had a dude in our Sunday school and he couldn't. You just started looking at him, bro, and you could tell he had to go to the toilet.

He was fidgeting.

Yeah, his whole body would start shaking, bro.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I would've lost all my money on how to spell that word, onomatopoeia.

And you'd be like, damn, onomatopoeia soon, bro. So we gotta get him outta here, bro. And onomatopoeia is the process of creating a word that phonetically imitates or suggest the sound that it describes.

I didn't even know there was a T in there. I've been saying onomonopia my entire life.

Yeah. Well, we can take a break if you need us to. Impacts and collisions. So like boom, bang, crash. You know what did it a lot was like those old comic books with like Batman.

Oh, 100%. Where it's just the one big word, bang! Yes. Back when it was, was it Adam West was like the original Batman?

Yeah.

You a big comic guy?

You know, I'm not that big into it, but I think I liked it when I was a kid. As a kid, but I never got into the comic books.

I feel that.

Did you?

No, I can't do it. I don't know why. I'm not a big on-paper kind of guy. Like, I'm not reading the Harry Potter books. I'm not doing it.

Yeah. Now, I mean, I could settle. I think if I ever have to go to the hospital for a long time, I'm saving Sopranos and Harry Potter for when I got to go to the hospital for a long recovery series. Yeah, hospital. Or if I get married and say if my wife's in a coma or something, I got to sit in there with her, just have her propped up to watch the series.

That's, uh, uh, what's the, um—

well, I mean, I'm gonna have just— I want to have something to do. I want be able to look for— because some people, that's such a scary time in their life if your spouse is in a coma or something, if your wife's in a coma. So I want to at least be able to look forward to something. So I've saved those things till then.

What's that? Is it Münchhausen syndrome, is where you keep somebody sick so that they need you? I could see you doing that just to finish the series.

Yeah, dude, like my, my wife's like— she's starting like—

you're getting like a little bit of reading on her, like her, like, on the heartbeat monitor.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, oh, hold on, honey, I'm almost done.

Yeah, yeah. Hold on, I got 4 episodes of Breaking Bad left. Dude, you know that's happened to somebody.

Oh, 100%. No, there was a guy, uh, I met a guy at a show one time who he faked being sick from work for 3 weeks to stay home and watch TV. That was like his full thing. Wow. And his wife totally just allowed it, which was like a cool mom letting you skip school.

That's got to be dope.

Yeah, man, that's the one.

That's the one.

I want to find a lady like that.

On the second day, she's like, oh, I see what you're doing.

Oh yeah, he's not even faking anymore on day 3. He's just living his life. She's on to him.

Yeah, and she's like, I like it.

How long are you gonna be here?

Yeah, dang, dude. Yeah, that's gotta be if you get like a good partner like that. But yeah, dude, so that's like, uh, what were we even talking about?

How the fuck do we get into watching TV? Yeah, the Bangs, the Wallahs, Magic.

Oh man, that's what it was. What were you tracking? Yeah, yeah, what's your finishing term?

Oh man, because how did, uh, Wallah come to be a term?

How did, uh, or what, ta-da?

I think it's ta-da. Voilà is definitely a chef term. I don't know why that came to me first. Voilà sounds like, uh, tells audience the truth.

Oh, oh, voilà came from voilà.

Abracadabra, that's a, yeah, classic. It's magic might be the lamest one I've heard. You do a trick and you gotta tell them what it is?

It's magic.

That's magic.

Hey, that's like if you're making love to a girl and it's not that good and you're like, it's sex. Yeah, that's cum. Yeah, it's wiener. She's like, it's barely wiener.

You're like, okay, it's not dick for sure.

It's not dick, it's wiener. It's almost like one of those like, can't believe it's not dick.

How is that not like Bluetooth's motto? Bluetooth, Hims pills, I can't believe it's not dick. Yeah, that's weird.

Pop one of those bad boys, the Bluetooths. Yeah. Oh dude, yes. And dude, I'll even, I'll even nibble just half of one. A half? Well, yeah, I kind of base it on like how— what's going on or whatever. Like, 'cause I used to live with my buddy's dad. I used to live, brother.

Wait, hold on. How could this possibly— where's this going?

Yeah, it doesn't go anywhere gay. It goes to a straight place.

There's no way it does.

But it takes a gay route.

Okay, I'm listening. I'm following the curve.

My buddy's dad— and RIP, my buddy's dad just passed, uh, Wally— and I lived with him, dude, right out of high school. I lived with him 'cause he had a script for, uh, them wiener pills, right? And I— you just could— they didn't have Bluetooth at the time. You couldn't just be getting those uppers, bro, you know what I'm saying? And so when somebody had— it was like, dude, so I was like, well, if I live with Wally, then he's got a script, then I can just pop them if I need them. Because I had a ton of sexual anxiety, and he wasn't using them all. He was using them. He was going through them pretty quick. That's what I didn't know. Oh, I wish he'd have told me that before we signed the lease.

So you were gonna have visitors?

Oh, I thought— dude, I thought I was gonna be living large. Dude, you know what I'm saying, bro? Of course. I'm just, I'm just saying like his erection was getting its steps in, you know?

All I'm saying, bro, he's got a whooper. He's got a whooper around it.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's dick.

What was the, what was the sexual anxiety that you had?

Oh, just in my— I had a lot of sexual anxiety, bro.

Just nerves?

Yeah, a ton of nerves.

What is that? What is that?

Like, I had a tough time talking with girls. It made me nervous, bro. Like super nervous, cuz I think I had a tough relationship with my mother. So even just the interaction with like looking at a woman, being looked at by a woman. That kind of stuff was like, made me super like nervous. So I think that just, that didn't just, it doesn't just go away kind of. So then you move on through life and now, now the women you're interacting with, it's like about, you know, uh, dating, intimacy, dating, sexuality, whatever, wiener. And then for wiener, that's all, you know. So just some of that. But anyway, so I went to live and I got to talk, dude, I have you here and I'm talking too much.

No, I love the story already.

Uh, so I went to live with Wally, bro. All right. VIP, shout out. And, uh, and so we were living over there. We were living in like a studio apartment too, dude. So— oh no, no, no, it wasn't that bad. Sorry, it was a one-bedroom, but the bedroom didn't have— it just had a little balcony.

It didn't have like a full wall. Got it, got it.

Okay, so I'd sleep out on the couch, and he had a car and he would let me borrow his car, but the car, you couldn't turn it off. You had to get it jumped. So I would drive the car to school and I'd park— like, this was at Loyola in New Orleans— I would park up by the like teacher's area and just leave it running the whole time. And for some reason, if the car's running, they like wouldn't put a ticket on. They're like, oh, somebody just ran inside, whatever.

It's genius.

So I'd leave it running the whole time I was at class. It would cost me like maybe $6 in gas, but I would leave it running. Anyway, he got the pills. I would try to nibble off of them so he didn't see, and I'm trying to reshape them and shit, bro.

I was carving them into crescent moons, dude.

I was trying to make them all smaller and shit, bro. It— I was like shizzle in it. Yes. Yeah, bro, I was like, he had like shift and it would be like an oval and now it's just like a diamond or something. Like, it was trap shit, bro.

Did he ever catch you? Huh?

Did he ever catch you? He never brought it up to me, bro.

That's a gentleman.

And he'd have ladies over sometimes, and I was learning the guitar actually at the time, and he'd have— he'd go in there sometimes at night and play Tears in Heaven for them. That's a song I could play.

Tears— who sings that?

Um, I did at the time. It was, uh, Eric Clapton, there you go. Oh, would you know my name?

Being serenaded to that would, I don't even know if I need the pills.

Saw you in heaven. Yeah, they'd be drinking orange juice and vodka in the bed and I'd go in there and just play it for them a couple times.

Dude, it's so hard to smash with a roommate. I remember my first apartment in LA, I was living with my manager's son at the time. And it was a studio. There was just no, there was no door into the bedroom. So it was really an open floor plan. And I was sleeping, I lived on the couch. And I had like the small closet. Then he had like what would be considered the bedroom. I remember he was out of town one weekend and this girl wanted to come over and I— we, we had— we did sex in his bed and she was like, what are all those clothes doing out there? I was like, oh yeah, I let my friend live on the couch.

Yeah. Oh, always.

Yeah.

Yeah. My friend's not doing well, I would say.

Yeah, of course. Makes it seem like I'm doing a good deed.

Yeah, he's passing through town. He's like, he's passing through town. You put all his pictures up on the walls and shit. You're like, yeah, he's the kind of guy he is.

Of course. Travels with his memories.

Yeah, he travels with his memories, dude. Oh, voilà, dude. Well, uh, were you guys out this weekend? I knew you were here for CMA Fest, right?

Yeah, I came down for, uh, to do some stuff with Billboard with the Red Clay Strays and then, uh, just stayed in town for the shows, man. I fucking love it here.

You do?

Yeah, I almost moved to Nashville, but I wanted land and I wanted a lot of it, right? And there wasn't anything within like an hour of the city that I really liked. And if you live an hour outside of Nashville, you don't really live in Nashville, you live in fucking Chattanooga.

Yeah, yeah, you live a little bit further out. I agree. Yeah, it's nice. There's some good land out there. Um Yeah, dude. What? Yeah, I saw— what did I see with Red Clay Trades? You were giving them an award?

Yeah, yeah, I gave them the, uh, Groundbreakers Award for Billboard. That was awesome, man. So cool, dude. They're such good guys.

Oh, they're the best. Oh, there you are right there, dude.

Bro, this— so there was no introduction whatsoever. They just go, "And Matt Rife." Everybody's like, "Wait, for real?" Turning away from the bar. There's a giant open pit of like, I'm gonna say 30 feet by 50 feet of people just standing like it was a wet floor. Nobody wanted to come close. It's the weirdest thing ever.

Yeah.

It's okay, it's like 2 minutes long. Yeah, bring the guys up, dude.

That's awesome you get to bring these guys up. They're special, bro. You know, comedy really— a lot of comedians really embrace them. I think a lot of— if you go to their shows, it's almost music for men and young men. Do you feel like that in a way?

I do, I do. It's— I mean, it's such a— I don't know, it reminds me of music from like the '50s and '60s, which I think was like music's golden age. And I think there's a— there's a yearning for that because everybody loves that sound, but there's no new production of that. And I think they they put that out. It's refreshing. I love those guys.

Yeah, they're so good, bro. Sometimes I feel—

dude, it's my favorite song. I fuck it. I'm Still Fine, so good. Kyle and I would blast that in the house for days.

People are living it up, I think I'm fine.

Oh God, that's so good, dude. Oh, I love them. Shout out to Red Clay Straits.

Pull up those lyrics, dude. Let me see those lyrics for a second.

You know, um, Brandon's brother Matthew wrote that song.

He wrote it?

Yeah, not even, not even in the band technically. He's writing hits, dude.

I saw him the other night, dude. I knew he wrote some of their songs. Um, sometimes I feel like I can't feel. Obviously this is a song about being on antidepressants then. This is a song about coming off of SSRIs, dude.

This isn't real, should be hurting.

This isn't real, should be hurting. I was alone, I was a song, music and bone, God's perfect wording. People here living it up. I think they're blind. I think they're out of their minds. Not one of them has had this. God's not giving up on me. No, I'm just fine. It's just a matter of time.

I mean, those are bars in there, man.

Oh yeah.

I think that's powerful stuff. People here living, I think they're blind. It's like, yeah, how can you be so positive and all this stuff's going on?

Dude, I think that's kind of, sometimes it's where we are in the world and I don't even want to get negative, but it does feel sometimes like we are pretending that we're okay. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. I mean, I think I operate from a big position of just bliss. I try to stay out of stuff. Like, I'm not a political person at all. Like, I just— I, I should get torn to shreds for even saying this, but like, I don't pay attention. It seems so stressful. It seems like all bad stuff all the time, and I'm like, it's either happening or it's not. Nothing I can really do about it.

Yeah.

So I mean, sometimes being uninformed leads to a little bit of happiness.

Do you know, it's a good— it's a good point. I think the more that I've— the more I learned, sometimes the more It hurts sometimes, or something hurt. I don't know what it is.

No, I think that's life though. I think about when you're a kid, you don't know anything. Life is so blissful, right? You don't even know about all the problems going on.

Yeah, dude, that's so right. Little kids are just like, they don't know anything.

I think the more you learn as life goes by, I mean, I think the magic of life kind of gets smeared.

Yeah, sometimes I wonder, it's like, Because sometimes we talk, we'll talk about stuff on here that's like kind of political or things that like we feel. A lot of it's like stuff that you end up learning about through technology too. It's like we wouldn't know it if we were like back in like tribal time or we were in like these, you know, if we didn't have so much technology, we wouldn't know a lot of this stuff.

But do you think that's how we're supposed to be though?

I don't think it's how we're supposed to be. I think there will be a time in the future where we will look back and, or someone will look back and they'll be like, what were they do— how did they even— what was happening?

You think— do you think we're supposed to know about everything going on in the world? Like, do you think we should know what's going on, like, overseas in different countries with different people?

It's tough, dude.

Like, as human beings.

Well, I wonder if— sometimes I think that no, it doesn't do us any good. I mean, a lot of times I'm angry about stuff that's not even in my area, and then it's like where I could probably put that— put that same energy towards stuff that is maybe more localized. Yeah. Or even in my own family and personal life. To have a better effect on those things or try to. But then I also, I've heard people talk about that there's no real separation between space and time. So I wonder sometimes if people, if you see something that's so painful in the world and you prayed enough about it, or you really tried to channel whatever good had been blessed to you or bestowed upon you, if you try to channel it towards, could you have an effect? Because then that makes me think, oh well, then there is some purpose to all of that.

Yeah, absolutely.

But I don't know, I don't know any of that, but it's just, it is stuff to think about.

No, that's a good spiritual direction though.

I like that, you know, it's something to think about. But I don't think there's anything— I can't sit here and be like, sometimes, like, sometimes I'll be like, well, why don't certain people say this, say, speak up, somebody? But that's, that's me like trying to project or think some way. It's like everybody's on their own thing.

Yeah, of course.

Sometimes I maybe have wishes, but But sometimes it's like, yeah, it'd be better just to like sit and laugh. Sometimes people just want their comedians to just joke around and not be—

yeah, not be talking about other stuff. Yeah, sometimes because somebody doesn't speak up on something doesn't mean that they're not empathetic about it. Maybe they just— maybe they can't handle it. Maybe that's just not where they're— they might have blinders on that, you know, they have their sights on something specific or just minding their own business. Yeah, it doesn't always mean they're a bad person, I don't think.

No, I don't think so either. Yeah, like I have friends and my buddy's like, dude, I was like, do you ever think about this or worry about this? He's like, well, you know, I got a couple kids, my kids right now, and I have a kid who You know, he has a kid that has some learning disabilities. Like, I just spend— I have to focus all on that. It's like, you can't fault that.

It's like, no, I think that's actually better. I think, I think, uh, focusing a lot of your energy on the things more direct to you, I think, can be a good thing. I think that's a lot more peaceful. Think about the things that get— like, people are complaining online all the time about something, right? Yes, all the time. It's like, okay, is that thing you're complaining about to you personally more important than, like, you know, your kid's baseball game or whatever it is, or their birthday party coming up or something that's more important to you directly, right?

If you're sitting in the stands, like, you're like mastering a tweet and you miss your kids, like, you know, double, or he gets a hit. I agree.

How do you even have time to do that if you're not focused on something more important?

And sometimes we'll even— I'll notice I'll find other things to worry about so I don't have to worry about my own shit.

I don't know if that's healthy or not.

Oh, I don't think it is at all. But I notice I'll even use worrying about other stuff sometimes as like a method of like escapism. From like not taking care of the things I need to be taken care of.

That's a very good point. Next time my dick doesn't get hard, I'm gonna be like, it's just with everything going on in Iran right now, you know what I mean? Like, how can you even possibly expect me to be up right now?

Wait, you're expecting sex when there are people starving somewhere? Yeah. Okay.

I think it's the perfect excuse.

Oh, my penis doesn't work. It's obvious. You know, that's— look, there's stuff happening in Gaza right now and you're expecting— what are you— you're expecting a lot. Okay, you want troops on the ground over here, right? But you don't want it over there? What are we talking about? It is kind of— that's what— that's hilarious, dude.

Yeah, man. Classic misdirect.

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Check out MoonPay agents at moonpay.com/agents. Crypto is risky and can be volatile, so do your own research and trade responsibly. Yeah, I mean, it is. I think if we didn't have as much technology, would we take on the world as much?

Yeah, I don't think it's healthy for us. I mean, obviously there's so much good to be learned, but I do feel like it distracts us from a lot of things we probably should be focusing on firsthand.

Yeah.

I'll leave that open to interpretation. It's a more generalized concept, but I don't think it's good for us.

Yeah. I think I think a lot of different things about it, you know. So what else at CMAs do you do? Have you spent a lot of time in Nashville or no?

Uh, I mean, I've been performing here since I was like 16. Like, Zanies was one of the first clubs I ever got to perform at.

Really?

Yeah.

Did you open up for somebody?

Oh, a bunch of people. I mean, uh, Tommy Davidson to Pauly Shore to Jim Brewer, Bill Bellamy. I've opened for— oh, Ralphie, obviously. When I was like still living in Ohio, he used to let me come down here and do his shows right before Christmas at Zanies. And he would like, I mean, he would pay me like $500, $600, which I'm in high school, so that's like a million dollars to me. So that I could like, I could go back home and like buy my family Christmas presents with that money. Oh dude, he's like the nicest guy. So I've been coming here for a while.

I love it here.

Yeah, comedy scene too.

Yeah, it's good people, man. It's some of the best people.

I couldn't agree more.

What— I can't believe you got to come down here and work with Ralphie. That was so wild. What was that like? Did you see him having troubles back then? I mean, that was a long time time ago.

I mean, he was fat the whole time, right? I never knew him to not be gigantic. Um, so I mean, there was no— I mean, I was also 16, 17, so again, I'm not really like looking for problems. Wow. Yeah, that's at the— that's you. That's the Brea Improv. Yeah, I think I'm, I'm 17 in this, maybe 18.

Wow.

I think I maybe just turned 18 in that, bro. Look at that watch. Wow.

Fake.

Couldn't be more fake.

I think it's supposed to be— what's it made out of? Like, uh, looks like a goddamn Ben 10 watch. Dude, looks like it's made out of ivory. Is that real ivory?

No, it's not real ivory, man. It's pure plastic.

Is that real tusk?

Not at all, man.

Oh dude, look at Ralphie's smile, bro.

Yeah, man, I miss him a lot. Oh, he was such a good guy. He started when he was super young too. I think he started when he was 14.

Yeah, he was full of black. He said he was so big because a lot of his inside had a lot of blacks and a lot of blacks in them. Black people inside of him.

I mean, he could fit a couple of black people inside of of them.

He said there was like a couple black guys in the front seat and the back seat of him, because you know how sometimes you give one brother a ride, a couple brothers show up like, whoa, who's that?

Yeah, you know, you got somebody hopping on the pegs, you know.

Yeah, dude, that was the craziest thing, bro. I used to bike through the neighborhood and, uh, on my way to school I go through the black area and my buddy Jonathan would get on the, um, on the back and then like sometimes a couple of his buddies would get on the front, dude. And so I was just this little, just like white little engine that could, dude, you know, just like abs just pumping. I think I can. I think I can. I'm just sitting there. Yeah. And they used to call me the N-word bus. That's what they call me when they saw me pulling up. They're like, oh, here comes the bus. And they'd all jump on, dude. And I'd have to get like 5 guys to get the, you know, help them get their education or whatever.

And I was like, I can do it. Get their education. Like you're a public service, bro.

If I didn't get them there, it was like 11 more blocks to school. If I didn't get them there, they wasn't going.

They stopped at block 8.

Oh, bro. Yeah, yeah. One or two dudes got off, bro. We never saw them again.

That's so fucking funny, dude.

So that was wild, bro. But yeah, Ralphie was like— Ralphie was one of a kind, bro. I can't name somebody else that's like Ralphie.

Can you really? No, man. I really wish I could see how he would have navigated like comedy today. It's changed so much in just the 15 years that I've been doing it and watching him. I mean, not give a fuck isn't the most articulate way to say that, but like, he was just so unapologetically himself, and people fucked with it, dude. I didn't— I had never met anybody who didn't like him.

Oh, dude, I remember I broke down when he passed. It like really hit me hard.

Oh, same, man. That was arguably my first like mentor in comedy. He, um, I was— I wasn't even— I think I'd maybe just turned 16, and he was coming to Youngstown, Ohio. He was playing a theater up there. No, I'm sorry, it was Cleveland. He was, he was doing, uh, Hilarities up there. And this is like when Twitter, like, you could, you could reach anybody on Twitter. Everybody was so accessible. So I like tweeted at him. I was like, hey, I'm this kid in Ohio and I'm doing comedy now. Can I open for you at Hilarity? And he was like, yeah, you know what, fuck it, come on down.

What?

But my mom ruined it. She, she— well, because she had no experience in this whatsoever. I mean, to her, this is just a grown man inviting her son up to Cleveland, right?

This is like pedophilia or whatever.

Yeah, she had no idea. I mean, I had been doing comedy for humor Humorous pedophilia. Humorous pedophilia. Maybe 5 months I've been doing stand-up, so I didn't know anything either. So she's asking like, where do I park? Do we need to buy tickets? What time do we need to be there? Where do we need to go? Do I need to talk to anybody? I ended up asking him so many questions on behalf of my mom, he was like, hey man, I actually can't. It's actually not gonna work out. So he can't. He canceled on me. And then maybe 6 months later, he was doing Youngstown, and he let me come up and do that. That was like my first theater show. Paid me $100 for it. It was nice.

What did you— did you hold that against your mom?

Oh my God, I was devastated because to me I was like, this is gonna be my big break, you know what I mean? I'm gonna be this famous comedian after doing one guest spot in Cleveland.

Oh, but that's all it takes, dude. You get 3 minutes of a video, somebody bringing you up, you get to bring Ralphie up, anything. When you're that age, of course, bananas.

I know, it would have been awesome. The theater show was very cool. I ended up actually ended up meeting, um, Tony Hinchcliffe's mom at that show in Youngstown. Yeah, she was just like, yeah, I have a son who just moved to LA, he's doing comedy out there, opening for like Jeff Ross. I didn't think anything of it. I didn't I didn't know anybody. Moved to LA and he was like, you fucking know my mom.

And why did she— why was she at that show?

She was just a Ralphie fan. No. Yeah, it was totally, totally random. I was just taking pictures of people after the show and she was like, yeah, my son lives out there. He said his mom still has like the piece of paper that I signed for her. She kept it even after all those years.

Oh, that's pretty cool, dude. Crazy. Yeah, I forget he's from Youngstown, huh? Mm-hmm. Dude, was it a pretty urban show?

No, dude, Youngstown was so white. It was so white, dude. But I mean, this was also when he was doing— Ralphie was doing this bit about the N-word. And I think it made it into one of his specials where he was basically trying to make a point that if you desensitize the word and make it mean something different. So he was like, I think we should name the most delicious flavored cookie, the N-word. That way you say like, I love that. Oh, I see that. You could say it more optimistically. But this was like a mostly white room with a few black people, but it didn't matter. Like, the joke was just great across the board. Like, he was for everybody. His crowds were so eclectic. Oh, and I love coming up with that. I never wanted to, like, pigeonhole and play to, like, a specific audience. I'm like, if he can appeal to everybody, like, that's the main goal.

Yeah, dude. Well, yeah, just to be your— I think to try and, try and be as close to your truth is what it is. And I think Ralphie was that guy. He was just like, he loved, like, being accepted by Black folks and white folks. He loved bringing them together with humor. Yeah. Yeah, uh, and he loved just like being able to kind of be welcomed just in that space. Because to be in that space also and navigate comedy, it's important because you have like a— you don't have a responsibility or something, but you can bring people together. If two people can laugh at the same joke, that's a big thing.

I couldn't agree more. I think sense of humor is so important, dude.

Dude, that's so cool that you got to have some of those moments with him.

Yeah, when I first moved to LA, he, uh, he used to pick me up, we'd go to like a diner, he'd make me order like like 3 entrees. And I was like, is this fucking for you? And he was like, no, whatever you don't eat, you can take home with me. Now you have like groceries for your week. Yeah, I have leftovers for it. The nicest guy, man.

Wow.

I know, I know.

Dang, that's big, bro. That's a big heart. He was mostly heart. Heart and brothers inside of him.

Yeah, mostly heart and brothers. He was one of those people that like, I wish I could have got to share what I get to go through now with him because I knew him from like so, so young. I knew somebody that I looked up to. Yeah, just to get his perspective on, see what advice he would have had, you know.

Yeah, dude, that was a huge loss. What did he pass away from exactly? Did he have pneumonia pretty bad?

I think it was COVID. I think he had early COVID.

I just want to get clear on that.

It was not COVID. I'm pretty sure it was a heart attack. Yeah, cardiac arrest.

Rafi made out of cardiac arrest caused by hypertensive cardiovascular disease. The Clark County, Nevada coroner officially ruled his death as natural at the time. He was battling pneumonia at the time. Um, that happens a lot. Rough. He had a heart attack, his lung collapsed. Hmm.

I mean, that lung was exhausted. I mean, goddamn, dog.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, dude. We gotta get these brothers to school, dude. That was his long, dude. Oh damn, bro.

He would love that joke though. He would love that. Oh, he would love it, bro.

Dude, honestly, I can— I'm not even joking, I can feel him smiling right now. That's one thing, bro. I believe that there is this— there's this like between space and time. Like if we say like, Ralphie, we love you and we miss you and thank you for all the times you made us laugh. I think he can feel that somewhere.

I think so.

So I think that there's a way that you can transfer a feeling or a hope through space and time.

I don't know. No, you can call it prayer. You can call it whatever, whichever angle you want to come from. But I think it does affect things.

Yeah.

And here's the thing, even if it doesn't, isn't it so much better to just believe it anyways?

100%.

Isn't life just better to believe it? Yeah, I mean, I feel the same way about fucking Bigfoot. Just cooler to believe he's out there. Yeah, dude, is he? Probably not, but it's so much more fun to think maybe he is.

Dude, what about the guy that just was on Joe Rogan that saw an 8-foot— I think he was a Navy SEAL. Can you bring him up? They saw an 8-foot Bigfoot. They said 8-foot. That's pretty big.

Well, how tall is Victor Wiminyana? He's got to be close.

But his little ass, he would be a— he would be kind of a punk in the Bigfoot community.

He's a runt.

I mean, he would be— I mean, they would respect him for sure. He's more of a Slenderman.

Oh, you fuck with Slenderman? I mean, I don't fuck with him, dude. I, I— that's my, that's my lane, dog. I love all spooky shit.

Oh yeah, that's right. Do you— you bought all this? You bought the spooky— you, um, you invested in Ed and Lorraine's, uh, uh, yeah, their home museum.

Wow.

Yeah, dude, that's right, dude. That's where you live? You live in, uh, Rhode Island?

In Rhode Island. Yeah, yeah, but their house is in Connecticut, so it's just, it's just down the street, hour and a half drive, something like that. It's fucking awesome, man.

How did that come to pass, man? I know some of this might be old news.

No, no, no, it's not. A lot of people know that I'm even into this stuff. Um, my friend and my business partner Elton Castay, uh, he and I started doing like— well, he had been doing ghost hunting on YouTube for, oh God, probably close to like 8 years now. And then I kind of came aboard about 5 years ago, something like that. We've been like around the world to some of the most haunted places. It's so fucking cool. You have? Yeah, yeah.

We had Sam and Colby on here talking about that before.

Those guys are awesome. Yeah, those guys are fucking sick, dude.

One time I went to dinner with Rogan, I go meet him, Sam and Colby are— are they like—

he's with Joe? Yeah, shut up.

Blew my mind.

Yeah, man, they're good dudes.

I was like, what the fuck are y'all doing here, dude?

It's a smaller world than you think.

Oh, they're like the, like, spooky NSYNC kind of— it's like, it's kind of what they seem like a little bit when you meet them, you know?

Yeah, man, they're handsome for no reason.

Yeah, it's like, oh, you're handsome and you're ghost hunters. They're another— they're a couple Justin Tuckers, dude. That's who they are.

You can't even see bangs in the dark. There's no reason to even have good hair like that.

I— it's just, dude, bangs, that's an onomatopoeia. Bang.

I'm talking about hair, man.

Oh, take me through a little bit more of that. So you move— so you— so first, you— why did you move to Rhode Island? You said you wanted some land.

Yeah, I wanted land mainly. I wanted— I wanted some land. I wanted a city that is convenient for travel. And so like PVD is like my Burbank airport, and then Boston's like my LAX if I have to, have to, have to go direct.

Okay, so that's Providence and Boston airports.

Yeah. And then I wanted some kind of a comedy scene, and Providence has the Comedy Connection there, which is a fucking great A club. Um, they've got a couple of good theaters there that I'll do like our holiday toy drives at and stuff around the wintertime. And then they have a— there's a ton of open mics. There's a bunch of don't tells out there. So like when I'm home and I want to work stuff out, like there's no shortage of stage time at all. Wow. So I mean, it kind of just checked all the boxes. It's awesome, dude. It's so peaceful. It's so beautiful. Like, it's quaint. It's got, it's got everything I need. Like I said, the airport's nearby, comedy's nearby, Target's 8 minutes away.

How far is it from the airport to your house?

17 minutes.

That's good.

Yeah, it's not bad at all, dude. And I mean, we're in the cities all the time for work, right? Like, we're always touring. I'm always in New York. I'm always in LA or Miami, Chicago, or whatever. Like, when I'm not there, I just want peace. Like, that's what I actually have.

What made you pick that? I mean, Rhode Island's just an interesting place. No, absolutely. You know, it's kind of like, it's kind of romantic. Rhode Island to me has like this like beachy kind of romantic scene, but also like this thuggish sort of scene.

Well, I didn't know how like mob deep it was, dude. I had no, I had no idea Rhode Island was like run by the mob for a while, which is pretty fucking awesome. I was doing shows at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and this is around the time I was like just starting to look for like, maybe I'll get a house someday. My life's starting to change. Change. And I was on Zillow and I found a house like an hour away and I was like, shit, I'll just go check it out before the show's tomorrow. And I went, checked out, just fell in love with it. No. Yeah, so I mean, totally random, didn't know anybody there. A couple of my friends have moved out there ever since, they live with me, so it's kind of a nice little compound.

Oh, you got friends living with you?

Yeah, absolutely.

Have you had to kick anybody out? I don't think— what's that been like? You guys splitting wiener pills out there? What are you guys doing out there, bro?

It's like you live there. That's good. To hit both on the head is, uh, pretty impressive. Yeah, yes and yes. Sven, we're rationing up there, brother.

Oh yeah, dude. Now I will say this, if the wiener pill factory ever closes, dude, there is gonna be— the market is gonna be hot for those, bro.

Oh my God, it's the new Quaaludes. You think they get better with age? I didn't even think about that. Oh, I'm gonna sit on a couple, put some in my safe. Yeah, in a little time capsule.

Give one of your grandson one day, huh? Hey, eat this, now your diaper won't fit.

That's ridiculous, dude. I kind of love living with the homies. It's, it's nice. I mean, the house is big enough that like my boy Kyle lives upstairs, I live downstairs. Like, there's days I don't even see him. Yeah, we'll meet together in the kitchen for like an Uncrustable around 4 PM. That's about it, dude. It's so peaceful.

It's just chill when you're there. Like, what types of things do you get involved in? Do you actually have enough time to take off when you're there, or what's that like for you right now? I know you just had a— I saw you guys were filming And you were filming in Vancouver. How was that?

Yeah, I was in Vancouver for like 7 months last year. No way. Oh dude, within a week I had to move. Like, I didn't think I was gonna get this role at all, and then they called and were like, hey, you, you got it, need you to move to Vancouver. And I was like, awesome. It was Friday. They're like, need you there Monday. And I was like, oh, okay. I mean, things can happen that fast.

Did you have touring dates you had to cancel and everything?

Um, I only had to cancel a couple for film dates, but luckily they let me keep as many of them as I could. Which is important to me.

Yeah, for sure. Matt Rife among 10 cast in Netflix's FTX series. And this FTX, it's about crypto. It's about the cryptocurrency.

Yeah.

Do you remember like, uh, Paul Rudd?

No, it's not Paul. Which one? Which one do you think is Paul Rudd? Which one of those?

Bottom middle.

But you think that's Paul Rudd?

It does it look like him to anybody else or just me?

That's gonna be just you. Not a chance. I wish Paul Rudd was in this. He's a fuck— he's fucking great. Oh, somebody's Instagram. You thought that was that guy?

I don't know, dude. I need some help. I'm still fine.

No, don't sing your way out of it, man. Oh, solo mio.

We can't convince you. You can't sing your way out of this, dude.

You can't opera your way out.

I'm just saying, bro, things happen sometimes visually for people. I think some of those wiener pills got fucking— got my optics off.

You got some side effects?

Yeah, some side effects.

Some lingers?

Yeah, bro, can't see. Yeah, imagine you took so many wiener pills, you just don't— the side effect is you can't get celebrities right anymore.

I don't think that's that bad.

You'd be like Beetlejuice, you're like, hey, what's up, Shaq?

Dude, I met Shaq, by the way, for the first time. Yeah, I did a thing with, uh, with Burt for the Netflix Festival. He's— he really is that fucking big. He's gigantic, man. Also one of the best senses of humor of like a non-comedian I've fucking ever met. Really, dude? He's funny, loves a good joke about himself, man. You know, Burt was doing the whole, uh, you know, the whole shirt takeoff thing backstage for this promo video, and Shaq took his shirt off, and I was like, he did?

Damn, is he jacked?

Yeah, man. Dude, look how ripped.

Yeah, man. Sometimes I like to, uh, I like to reminisce about summertime. Summertime, baby, it was hot. And Mom would try to make the best out of things though. And she said one day, she said, I'm gonna take y'all to see the world's biggest anthill, about 70 miles from us. And so we sat there and we weren't really excited, but we was curious. And sometimes that was enough in the summertime to get you out of the house. And Mom didn't know, but I'd snuck me a little deviled egg in my pocket so I could get— have me a little snack. I'd snuck a little D.E. down in my pocket with a piece of ice next to it so I could keep it cool in there. And we got to that anthill and it was— I mean, you couldn't even imagine how big it was. You need— you needed two people to imagine it at the same time to even have— to have the imagination of it. It. It took two imaginations. And they had all types of ants in there. They had ants, they had, uh, step-ants, uh, ants once removed, they had cants, they had ants that just couldn't do it anymore, you know.

They just said they was dealing with impairments or high blood pressure. And we were about 95 minutes into the tour. We'd been, you know, was coming around the east end of that anthill and And I'd been bit probably 20, 30 times by now. And, and they had a little rest area, a little bathroom area. So I'm gonna sneak off behind these toilets and have me that deviled egg, baby. Have me a little cut of that DE that I had in my pocket. And I reached in there, those ants had picked my pocket clean, brother. I don't know how much devil was in that egg, but it wasn't enough to keep those ants away. So we had some times out there, man, and they were challenging and they were exciting and they were adventurous. And that's summertime, you know. Anyway, cheers to Mountain Dew. Tastes like America, tastes like summer. So you were up there in Vancouver. You— was it an enjoyable experience? Vancouver is awesome.

It's— Vancouver is beautiful. I had a good time with that. The Being a part of like that pedigree of a project is awesome. Anthony Boyle and Julia Garner are the leads of it, and they're just such fucking great actors. Really? Like, if they're not nominated for an award for the, for the show, I mean, it's robbery. They're, they're so, so talented. So to like get to like learn from people like that day after day for 7 months was just an awesome opportunity. It was so hard though, like the dialog was just not something I was familiar with. Like, it's all about crypto shit, so like every line I'm having to like Google what I'm even saying.

Oh really? Was that intense?

Oh my God. So obviously memorizing the lines was a lot more difficult difficult than just like a day-to-day conversation. Yeah, but it was a good challenge. I love acting. I want to do more of it for sure.

Yeah, yeah, I think so. But the thing about acting is it takes away from that stand-up, it takes away from that stage time.

It definitely does.

Um, it's hard to go because if you have those long days— were you having long days?

Oh yeah, I mean, you're on set for sometimes a 17-hour day, right?

You can't go do stand-up at the end of that day.

No, but so I mean, most of the 7 months I was filming Monday through Friday and then Saturday morning, I'd get on a plane to go do a show Saturday night, got it, fly to the next place Sunday, and then I'd have to take like a red-eye after the show Sunday night to be on set at like 6 AM Monday morning. So there were some weeks where I'm showing up on like no sleep. Oh, but if you want to do all— if you want to do it all, like, that's the price to pay for it. But also with stand-up, like, I've been doing it for, I mean, literally half my life, and I'm so like blessed to be in the position that I'm in right now. Like, it's fucking insane, the opportunities I've got to have over the last couple years that there starts to become more of a question of like, what, what now with stand-up? Like, I've sold out Madison Square Garden, I've done the Hollywood Bowl. It's like, what, what is supposed to be after that? Like, for me, that, that's when like the fun of just like the, the creative behind it is what kind of has to propel you.

Like, I still have like these funny thoughts and these stories that I want to tell. Yeah, you have to just enjoy doing stand-up. Like, you find something to chase, but it's not always a venue. Sometimes it's just expression.

Yeah, dude, I think it's interesting you say that. Like, I've been at a spot right now where, like, like, we had— like, my friend and I made a movie that we did that we made ourselves, right? That came out and we did the whole process. And then we just taped a comedy special. We did— like, there's been some things that have just come to an end, right? And touring. Yeah. And now, and that's all finished right now. Like, for like the first time in 20 years, I don't have a tour date on the books, and I don't ever have to have one if I don't want to.

How does that make you feel?

It's, it's, it's a lot of things. It's been like, I've had a little bit of depression. I didn't know what it was from. I think some of it was from, I don't— there's not a ton to do. Like, there's podcasting.

Yeah.

But I haven't really felt like, I don't know, I haven't felt a lot of motivation. And I don't know if some of it's because like, um there's just not a ton to do.

Like, I mean, do you feel fulfilled in that field?

Sometimes I feel like, well, what do I— like, yeah, I think part of it's like, yeah, well, what do you— what do I want to do now? What about— did I just start stand-up like 20 years ago and I've just been doing it? And like, and then now what do I want to— you know, I want to keep doing it. I do know that I want to keep doing it. I don't know if I want to get on stage like right now, but there is part of me that's like, yeah, well, what else do you want to do? What else do you you know. I think I kind of wish that there was like a, like a family aspect in my life right now, like wife and children, but that's not there. So it's like, that's okay. It's just like, you know, you gotta wait till that comes along. But I do think there's some like, um, like having patience with like not the craziest days, and that's okay. And what's going to be next, and I don't know, right? I think having patience with I don't know is kind of tough for me.

No, it's very hard. It's— I mean, it's fear of the unknown, especially when you're used to working for— you said 20 years. You're waking up day after day trying to create opportunity for yourself, um, whether it's a tour or whether it's filming something or producing something, developing something. Like, I can't take a vacation. If I take 3 days off— I haven't performed stand-up in 2 weeks— I feel like I've forgotten everything. I've been going crazy. I'm only home for like 2 to 3 days at a time. When I'm there after the second day, I'm like, fuck, I feel like I need to be doing something when I don't. It's okay to take a break and just be healthy and be where your feet are at for a little bit.

Yeah, I think that's the tough part for me right now a little bit. And then I think some of it's asking God, does God want me to be doing what— or just like, I think I go to that place of prayer for like, yeah, where— help me figure out what do I want to do? Because I'm not feeling like a ton of I just don't know. That's the thing. And so it's just kind of interesting, you know.

I think it's— I think that's totally fine, man.

Yeah, it's just hard to be like—

it's incredibly hard, man, when you've been chasing something for so long and then you feel like you've accomplished— isn't the right word, but you at least got to a place of comfortability to where you don't need to be killing yourself every single day. Yeah, it's hard, man, from going from 100 to 0 or 2, you know. Yeah, it's hard to coast.

Yeah, it's hard. And you start to— I mean, all the little things come in, like, well Am I doing enough, or I'm gonna fall off, or these things are— I have fallen off. Like, all— and some of that's all just bull— it's all, it's all bullshit. It's all just whatever. Yeah. But all those little things kind of come in, and you start to— you put each one on the scale of you and be like, what weight does this really have? And sometimes it jumps on the scale itself, some of these fears or things, and you don't even know it, and you're under the weight of it before you realize, oh, I didn't even put this there. This just kind of showed up.

How much of it is ego, you know what I mean? How much can I put that aside, and how much is it actually important to me?

That's the biggest thing is, yeah.

No, it's so hard.

How much of this is ego too? And what, yeah, what's important? What do I need? And then what is my voice best? How could my voice best even be used moving forward for myself and for anything, all that kind of stuff. Does that make sense to you?

That makes perfect sense. I can't thank you enough for even understanding what that feels like. Most people just don't get that. There is a fear of slowing down for sure. And I have slowed down a ton. We were doing 40 to 50 shows a month between like 2024 to the beginning of, uh, 2025. I mean, 6 to 7 shows, uh, 6 to 7 nights a week, 2 shows a night, dude.

Your schedule was scary, dude. I remember we spoke one time, you were having a sleep— you're having sleeping disorder.

Yeah, man, you called about that. I really appreciate that, by the way.

You're having a sleeping disorder?

I have horrible insomnia. Like, I, I literally cannot fall asleep without like the assistance of something.

Yeah. What— so what— how'd you even— I mean, I guess it's easy to figure out. But did you notice what was keeping you up? Were you drinking coffee late in the day?

No, no, I don't do any caffeine at all. Like, never, never have. You can't— cannot do it. My brain just like— you know when you're about to fall asleep and then there's just like the, the light switch just goes off? Your brain's just off. Now you are like unconscious. Yeah, I can't fucking flip the switch. I can't do it. I can get so close. My brain just cannot do it. I'm, I'm not even like thinking about things. I'm not up anxious about anything. I'm not worried about anything. There's not anything in particular in my life that I'm worried about. Just can't do it. And I've been to sleep doctors, I've got therapists.

What's that? Did you go to sleep doctors?

Yeah, yeah. And they all— I mean, the problem is they all just want to— they want to just prescribe you medication. But I'm like, do I? That makes me feel even crazier. That makes— to make me feel like I have to have help to do the most basic human thing feels fucking crazy. So I mean, I do take something that does help me get to sleep, doesn't keep me asleep, and I still don't sleep well. Um, Um, but they— most of my doctors think it's probably just like an underlying anxiety, but I'm like, I don't want to take anxiety medication. I don't want to.

Yeah. And are you feeling, laying there all horny or whatever, or are you just laying there like your brain running?

Way past that, dude. My dick is like fucking tapped out. You're done? Oh, I'm empty, bro. Falling asleep with fucking Lego hands, dog.

Oh damn.

Yeah, man.

What are you saying?

You never jerk off to try to fall asleep?

Oh yes, dude. Yeah. What are you talking about? Probably Less than 30 hours ago I did.

We shook hands as soon as I came in here, man.

Dude, now I have showered once since then.

I mean, you ever do— you ever accidentally get a wake-up nut though when you're trying to fall asleep? Where's that boost of energy on accident?

Like, what do you mean? Like, if you jerk off in the beginning of the day, what is that wake-up nut?

A wake-up nut is kind of like—

tell me about that.

I imagine it's like a shot of B12. It's like getting into a cold plunge. Like, there's just something that kind of shocks your system. You're like, okay, I'm ready to— I'm ready to tackle the day.

So you wake up and do a nut?

Sometimes, just depends on the day, you know what I mean? Depends on the weather.

Wow, really?

Yeah, man, if it's sunny out, I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna jerk off in the gloom.

Oh yeah, dude, I don't know, I'm more like emo. I think I'm that dude, I'm that Tim Burton nut monkey, dude. I think I'm more like, you know, it's cloudy out, we got a 40% chance of nut, bro.

See, that feels depressing to me. Like, my dick's not gonna give it its all.

Dude, my dick gave up. I don't think my dick ever even wanted to be a part of me and them in a partnership. But yeah, I agree. But on a sunny day, I'm jerking off. The Lord has blessed me with this beautiful sun, and I'm going to be like, oh, let me show you what I can do.

Just add a little something to it, you know what I mean? No, I want to be walking on sunshine, dog.

Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right, bro.

I want to add— I'm trying to ride that, ride that high.

Yeah, you're right, bro. There's different avenues to it for sure.

First off, like, if you jerk off after like I don't know, 7:30 PM. That's more, that's more of a downer. I feel like that's supposed to relax you.

That's to close it down.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, what did they tell you? What did they tell, like, what was like, did you have any, did you try a CPAP machine? Did they do all that kind of stuff too?

Uh, yeah, it's not a problem like that, dude. Honestly, they can't figure out what the problem is, which drives me fucking crazy. I'm like, what am I, an anomaly? I'm like the one person in the world who has whatever problem I have with my brain. Doesn't seem possible, right?

Like you're like a wake squatch or something.

A what?

A wake squatch. You're like Bigfoot, but it's like for like somebody That won't sleep or whatever. Like, have you seen him? He doesn't sleep or whatever.

I think I have whatever Michael Jackson had. Maybe I have vitiligo or something. Maybe that's keeping me up.

Does that keep you up? Maybe. Dude, I just saw this thing the other day about when Michael Jackson went to Brazil. Can you bring that up, dude? He did a lot of things that, uh, he like challenged the status quo. Like, he wanted to go to Brazil to the favelas to shoot— which video was it? Um, They Don't Care About Us right here, uh, a song by the American singer Michael Jackson.

Initial release, man, he was a beautiful Asian woman.

Yeah, yeah, dude, I saw him one time when I was on stage. Um, we used to do the— there was a comedy club in Westwood at— I can't even remember it now. It was like Steve Byrne was there all the time, Adam Hunter, like a lot of like great like comics um, in the LA scene. Uh, Dane would come in sometimes, but out the window— I was on stage one time and out the window next door there was an Ahh's costume shop. A-H-H-H-S, like ah. And, uh, yeah, dude. And he was, uh, and he pulled up in a— with some security guards and got out and went in there. They— it was like after hours, they let him go into the costume shop. No way.

Yeah, you would open up the store for Michael Jackson.

I'm on stage and I see— and I know he lived not far away And it was the craziest thing. I'm like, oh, that's Michael Jackson. And I'm on stage saying, because I can see out this window on stage and the audience can't see, it's from the second story.

Oh, they think you're making it up.

Yeah, they get like, you're a fuck. I get some guy yelled.

I'm like, whoa, just because I saw Michael Jackson. Yeah, dude, no, no, he's really there. He's not my fucking sleep paralysis demon.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, so people will just call you just that for anything now.

Oh, I know.

Um, What are we talking about?

Sleep.

And then, oh yeah, what were some of the modalities that they— because, because I'm assuming you went pretty deep down this hole trying to figure this out. Oh yeah, because you had to take a break, right?

At some point, right? Yeah, man, I had to cancel, I had to cancel shows.

And, um, you had how many doctors for it?

I had like 6 doctors at some point, all doing different things in different categories or whatever.

And like, what were they— were they taking your blood? Like, what were they doing?

I mean, blood tests, they check, they check all that kind of stuff. I was doing scans on my brain or whatever, trying to measure like what parts of it don't do and don't turn off, that kind of thing. Apparently I'm normal, but I just cannot sleep, dude. It's awful. But yeah, I did have to take a couple weeks off because I like passed out on the way to a show and people were fucking pissed, dude. I mean, it was like an hour before the show was supposed to start, but like I hadn't slept for like 5 days.

What was going on? Like, were you manic?

Oh, incredibly, incredibly, dude. I mean, I'm up like crying between the hours of like 4 AM and 9 AM just because I'm like, I just want to go to sleep. I I'm exhausted and I cannot shut my brain off. I'm like journaling to like my fucking dead grandfather. I'm like, hey man, send some sleep, dog.

Something.

Jerking off, back to journaling, jerking off, back to doing everything I can. And I was heading to the show and I like nearly like fainted and like fell into the bushes. And I was like, I cannot do this show. Like I will not make it. Like I'm not even gonna be able to sit down on the stool. So we had to cancel the show. I'm laying in the hospital. I'm getting like death threats. People like in bars in Indiana being like, we hope Matt Rife fucking dies. And I'm like, I'm going to, dude. Yeah, people did not care.

But dude, that's, that's like Morgan Wallen just had a— they had a weather issue for his show.

I saw that, but it's like, he's not, he's not a meteorologist. It's not up to him.

Yeah, he's doing the best that he can and people just, they won't cut him a break.

Um, let's imagine it was like strong winds or something like that. I think they were—

well, he has a big set and it's like, you know, once if something falls, it's—

bro, a tornado touches down in the middle of a concert and he didn't cancel it. Yeah, he's done, dude.

It's—

I think people die at the concert.

Yeah, it's over. You can't be on stage, you know. Guess I'm the problem. And like, people are getting hit by lightning.

Of course. Get twisters touching down.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's crazy. There's a twist just throwing people up on stage. Yeah, man, it was like people are passing by you in the air.

You can't please everybody.

Man, he would have been saying, dude, my people are just flying. People are wishing they had sand in their boots because they fucking would be anchored down better. It's like, cut the guy some damn slack, man. He just wants to be— he just wants to do his best.

He's fucking awesome, dude. You know, uh, I had, I had Kyle, um, dress up as him for the, for the, uh, AMAs. Is that what it was for? Yeah, because they had me presenting and, um, I was doing—

Kyle's here, he's sitting here with us, one of the best photographers Yeah, he does all my videography. He does a great job. Yeah, I couldn't hire him because you had him.

Well, sorry.

Well, if something happens, you could outbid me.

You're up on the block, boy.

Look, dude, yeah, now look, I'm not saying I'd get one. I'll make sure I get a friend with them.

Well, I wanted to.

They say you can't have them be alone. They're kind of like goats. We'll see about it.

They have, they have me presenting for, and they have me presenting in a country category, so I just, I wanted to do some kind bit for it. And the bit was to basically get everybody to be like, oh my God, Morgan Wallen is here.

And where was that at?

This was the AMAs in Vegas. So he shaved his beard completely down. He had just the mustache and he had this big old mullet wig with a little hat down. He looked just enough like him. The bit was supposed to be that like the camera goes to him, it's so obviously not Morgan Wallen. And that was going to be the bit. But he looked so much like him that people were like, okay, cool, Morgan Wallen's here. Like it completely fucking failed because he looked so much like him.

Yeah. Is that online?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, uh, I think I posted it on my Instagram, I'm sure, and all the country pages and stuff picked it up and everything. They're like, oh, Matt Rife takes a dig at Morgan Wallen. I'm like, that's the complete opposite. I'm saying he's definitely too fucking good to be here. He is too good to be here. He's selling out the moon, dog.

Yeah, dude, that's hilarious.

He gets snubbed on so many of these awards. I don't get it.

I don't think he cares about it.

Well, I mean, what does it matter? You know, you know you're the Entertainer of the Year. Who the fuck else is doing multiple stadium shows?

I agree. It's like, wow, what— this is just for you, you know? 100%.

It's just talking about ego earlier, right?

Right. It's just for the ego of these companies. A lot of these things, you know, they want to keep this idea that some select people get to decide who the, the Entertainer of the Year is. It's like, let the numbers decide.

Oh, 100%, you know? I couldn't agree more.

It's like with the— they trying to give a podcasting awards or something earlier. I think this was this year or last year. And like, do you want to be in the award? You have to pay to be, you know, you're—

you got paid to be in consideration.

They got you, gave you a nomination, but then you have to pay to be, uh, to see if you, if you, you'll be like one of the top 5 or whatever.

That's so weird.

And it was like, first of all, pay us to nominate you. It was— that was part of the edge of it, right? You have to pay to continue to be nominated. It's like, um, and I can't remember who it was, but it was like, uh But that was part of it. And then they gave the award to like, I think it was Amy Poehler's podcast, which is great, right? She's one of the most talented entertainers that there are. But if you're not giving that award to Joe Rogan, then what are you— what are we even doing?

Yeah, it's like, right? He wasn't even nominated for it because he didn't self-bid himself, right? That's crazy.

But it's like, it doesn't matter giving it to him. Like, then what are we— we're just— then we're playing some game of yours. 100%. It's not a real thing.

You say you're playing algorithm in an award show.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like, I think a lot of people see through all that shit. Like, I don't— like, I want— give me something that's real, that's fine, but I don't want something that's some made— I don't want to live in some made-up type of thing where you decide who gets to be this thing.

And that's why I think touring is so fucking awesome, because it's totally in the hands of like your fans, right? It's— it is literally a physical It's a, it's a physical, um, that's what I'm looking for. Fuck. It's, um, it's proving that you have a connection with the people, right? Like, those people are paying to come see you. That's harder money that they saved up. They got a babysitter. This is their anniversary, whatever it is. Those people are coming to see that. Like, that success speaks for itself. If you can move people to come see you in real life, what does it matter what 8 people voted in the middle of Hollywood or Nashville or whatever it is?

Yeah, I agree, dude.

Dude, um, like, that's the true success, I think.

Just let it be what it is, you know? Why, you know, I don't know. I think I also have like a— I get some angst towards some of that Hollywood stuff, so I think I get it. I have a little bit of a chip on my shoulder about some of it. I don't even know why all the time. Um, let's show this clip though right here. And yeah, dude, Morgan could go— Morgan could literally go back in time before, before people even knew him, and he— people like, I heard he's good, you know? He could go like 40 years ago, and people somehow like, yeah, I heard he's— I heard that guy's good.

Yeah, man.

Bro, look at this right here, dude. Is this AI? You get accused of being AI a lot?

All the time. All the time. So AI, bro.

You are AI.

I'm in Rhode Island right now.

What the heck? I never even realized it, dude. Dude, you're like my fucking hot lesbian aunt that's AI, dude.

You have a hot lesbian Yeah, I'll turn her out, dog. Let's fucking go.

I don't know, you guys look too similar though. Let me, uh, let me show this award show part.

I think we can all agree that the current state of country music, some pretty good hands, right? I mean, just tonight alone we've seen Riley Green, Keith Urban, and actually making his very first AMA appearance, Morgan Wallen is here. Morgan Fallen, dog. He's my little off-brand.

That's crazy. Yeah, man, that's hilarious, bro.

Yeah, we first— we realized he looked like this when he accidentally shaved his beard in Europe one time. We were fucking tearing him apart. I called him Failure and Heart.

You did? Yeah. You accidentally shaved yours, Kyle? Yeah, that's hilarious.

He nicked a little piece of it and then shaved the whole thing off. We were like, oh, I had to fire him for like 3 weeks. I was like, I can't be around you right now. You got a vulnerable neck.

That's it. Oh yeah, dude, that's crazy, bro. Dude, that's funny, bro.

Yeah, it was a decent bit, but then almost everybody when I got home were like, oh no, we actually thought it was Morgan Wallen. I was like, well, that wasn't supposed to be the bit literally at all. It's pretty— he's wearing my tour— he's wearing my tour cutoff jean jacket, a red Clay Strays hat.

If people can't see that good, dude, I'll say this, if they— yeah. You had a couple too many wiener pills. Your vision—

a lot of people thought he was Paul Rudd. A lot of people were saying it. All right, voilà, voilà. Um, am I able to get one more?

Yeah, let's get another water. Can we get one?

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks, brother. Hey, we got that Michael Jackson thing here. I think I found it.

Okay. Um, oh yeah, this looks like it. Let me see. In 1996, Michael Jackson shot a music video in Rio de Janeiro for favelas. The world didn't know that this historic shoot was only possible thanks to the approval of a drug trafficker.

Um, that's awesome.

Yeah, the government said it was too unsafe for him to come, but he wanted to come and be around the people. Let me see. Rio de Janeiro, 1996. Spike Lee's camera pans across the hills of Dona Marta, a favela clinging to the city's slopes. Michael Jackson has come to shoot his video, but the setting, a far cry from Hollywood studios, is no ordinary The governor of Rio is against it. The police refused to set foot in Dona Marta, and yet the cameras rolled. That had to be pretty brave, bro.

Yeah, man. I mean, to be that loved—

did it say that they looked out for him?

I would imagine so.

So when Michael Jackson arrives in Rio to shoot in a favela, it's not the mayor or the governor who has the final say. It's Marcino VP. The man hunted by police is also the one who ensures the King of Pop's safety. So, uh, He was the head of one of the most powerful criminal factions in the city. Charismatic and ruthless, Marcino had established himself in a world where hierarchy is carved out, carved in fear, and cemented by weapons. What set him apart from other hill bosses was a strange intellectual depth, almost unsettling for a man at war with the established order. It's just pretty wild that he went and shot that thing.

Feels like he could have did it in Burbank.

Yeah, it does. But I think he— why do we even start talking about this? Do you remember?

Not a clue. Oh, I just mentioned that I was wondering what my sleep problems were. I have the same thing that Michael Jackson has. You said, hold on a second, and we went on a 15-minute loop.

Uh, go back a little bit. The tent shoot. I just want to see that part. Uh, the governor of Rio is staunchly opposed. Brazil is still dreaming of hosting the 2004 Olympics. There's no way they'll let the world see what's hidden behind the postcard beaches. To show the poverty, the drugs, the bullet-ridden walls. It would be bad PR. Jesus. Oh, he went and shot it there anyway.

Um, that's so gangster.

He did stuff like that, dude.

The deal is clear: no money changes hands, no under-the-table bribes, just an agreement. Wow, that's awesome.

Yeah, just kind of— wow, look at that, dude. Just to show up there, be that close to people just who like would never have access to you, you know what I mean? Right, would never have access to you. And also there's probably, you know, you get in some dangerous neighborhoods, it's dangerous.

Yeah, but I mean, it sounds like the people he's getting approval from are like, nobody's gonna fuck with you. We would be the people to fuck with you, right? Nobody's gonna fuck with that. That's awesome.

That's awesome, bro. That, that's what I'm talking about. That's the people you like. If you're for the— if you're with the people, you're with the people, you know? It doesn't matter what these other like little, you know, fancy people say about this or that. I don't care, you know? Say this guy's the number one award winner, this guy's this, or whatever, you know. The truth is the truth.

100%. There's no replacement for real life.

Yeah. Anyway, sorry, I feel kind of— I don't know why I feel kind of animated about that.

I like it. Um, this passion.

Take me on a little bit more of— so, so you bought this Ed and Lorraine's house. Take me on the house that you bought and, and what you guys have done with it. I know there was like articles going around that that you guys were doing, like you guys had turned it into a haunted Airbnb where people could go and stay.

It is essentially that. Yeah, we were approached by Ed and Lorraine Warren's family that they were going to sell the house and we were the first people that they wanted to offer it to. And obviously we were fucking psyched about it. I mean, we have so much respect and love for their family and what they mean to the paranormal community. So I mean, to get to be a part of arguably the most prominent piece of paranormal history on Earth, being the Annabelle doll in the Warrens' house, is fucking awesome, dude. Um, and we got the house like as is. Like, we have all their old clothes, all their old tape recordings. I mean, there's like— there's hundreds and hundreds of old recordings and letters from cases that never got turned into movies and TV shows and stuff like that. And it's so cool, man. I mean, the house itself itself, museum aside, is fucking terrifyingly haunted. But there's like such a warmth to it. Like, regardless of what they did and who they were and what they were around all the time, like, it still feels like such a cozy family home. So we've opened that up to the public to be able to be stayed in as an Airbnb, and it's attached to the museum, which holds— oh God, I think it's something like 700 artifacts or something like that in the museum, as well as the Annabelle doll.

And take me through like, uh, just a brief synopsis of the family and the Annabelle doll. For people that don't know?

Uh, I mean, they— Ed and Lorraine were the most famous ghost hunters pretty much in the, the history of it. I mean, they, they helped— I mean, I guess documented, I'm gonna say a few hundred families.

And they were spousal? They were married?

Yeah, absolutely, dude. She was a psychic medium and then Ed was, uh, was an author. And, um, they, uh, they put out a lot of good books and, um, they helped a lot of fucking people. And they're— I mean, And they are the family behind like the largest scary movie franchises in the world between Annabelle doll, The Conjuring movies, Amityville Horror, all that good stuff.

And they, uh, how they help a lot of people, you said they helped a lot of people.

Well, I mean, a lot of people dealt with like possessions and haunted homes and a lot of haunted objects and everything. And they would go to help these families with either casting out the spirits, um, via exorcism. Sometimes it was taking an item like the Annabelle doll off of the family's hands and putting it in a more secure place, stuff like that.

That. So you have the Annabelle doll now?

Yeah, it's pretty crazy, bro. It's a pretty white thing to own.

Yeah, that is, huh?

Yeah. I mean, I— do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah, I believe in ghosts, but I get scared about it because it's like, you know, if you go summon ghosts, if you summon— like, if you look at it as like the devil— I think there's different ways to look at it. If you look at it as like a spiritual thing, like maybe something that's in between here and there, Um, but if you look at it as like satanic, you're trying to summon Satan, then that stuff is a little scary.

Oh yeah, I don't fuck with that stuff at all, regardless of like there being a demon literally attached to that doll. Like, I don't fuck with it. I'm not hanging out with the doll. That was the crazy thing.

People—

I mean, that's a very passionate community, and it's one that I respect and I'm happy to be a part of. But people thought I was like— because I'm a comedian, that I was gonna like disrespect this doll. They thought I was gonna turn this house into a fucking frat house, and Annabelle was gonna be crowd surfing like a stretched-out blow-up doll.

Oh yeah, I could see that, dude. People always want to like think about stuff like that. Did you do anything cool with Annabelle? Like, were you guys able to even like have her, like bring her out to have like a tea or something?

No, God no. We would never let her out of that box ever. We've only had to move the box a couple of times, and I even— I don't fucking touch that.

Really?

I let Elton— then we have, uh, we have a couple of priests that help with that.

Really?

Oh yeah, I'm terrified of it. Wow. Yeah, I'm never there, by the way. Like, I'm not at that— people thought I was living at the house with Annabelle. I'm fucking never there. You're not? No, I check on Annabelle. Like, I look for racism on Twitter. I'm like, good, it's still there. Yeah, if it's gonna exist, it might as well be like contained, you know what I mean? Nowhere to find it.

Yeah.

Wow, bro, it's pretty— it's pretty awesome, man. Um, do you— it's so fascinating to me.

Do you feel like— do you want to create more stuff around like horror genre? Like, is that something you start to feel like? Because you said you're kind of at this space where it's like you're kind of thinking, well, yeah, what else is possible and what else what I like to do and what direction?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, on the entertainment side of things, like, I would love to develop some kind of like a horror project, whether it be a TV show or a film or something like that. But I mean, we're also even expanding in that space. Like, we're moving the museum and expanding it to a location in Salem, Salem, Massachusetts this— I think it's gonna be this September or August that it's gonna open up. So I mean, there's a couple other properties that we could potentially be buying as well. So I mean, I'm so fascinated by it. Like, it is so new to me that I think it's very exciting. It's cool just to learn it, learn about it. And this creates a lot of opportunity for people to educate themselves on that world. People are fascinated by it, but they don't know a lot about it. So this is kind of like firsthand experience.

Have you had like a supernatural experience of your own?

Oh yeah, dude. Of all the investigations and stuff we've done, I've seen and heard heard so many things that I couldn't possibly explain. I mean, I've heard my name be said. I like EVPs, which is like the voice recordings, the most. To me, that's the most fascinating because it's audible, it sounds tangible. You're getting a direct response to a question you asked. To me, that feels so undeniable. I'm in the room. I know who else is in here. I know this hasn't been tampered with in any kind of way. To me, that feels so as close to undeniable as possible. Was there someone you were trying to talk to, or was Um, I'm trying to think of the most prominent one. Um, we were in, um, I think this was Mansfield Reformatory in Ohio, I believe.

Shout out Mansfield.

Shout out Mansfield. That's where they actually— they filmed Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking— it's a really, really cool space. Um, we were in what used to be the old library. We were asking like, you know, what— they're like, what, what did this room used to be? Hear loud, clear as day, library. No. Yeah, it's fucking terrifying. We were doing some in Lorraine Warren's house, in the tunnel that goes from the house to the museum. Our friend was in there asking, like, you know, do you mean us harm? And you hear, if possible. It's crazy shit like that. But it's still so fascinating to me. Like, I'm passionate about it because on a spiritual level, it helps kind of reassure me that there is something else. You know what I mean?— when my grandpa passed away, I had this really big moment of like, okay, there can't just be this. There has to be something out there. There's no way I won't ever see this person again. So the fact that I can go communicate with other, what I assume are people or spirits of people, to me that brings me a little bit of warmth knowing that maybe I will see that person again and maybe everybody gets to see their loved ones again.

Yeah. Did your grandpa pass away recently or no?

It was, I think it's going on 3 years this October, maybe 4, 3 years.

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, it's all right. That's him right there.

He's so young.

Yeah, man, he was only 67. I know, I know.

Did he get pretty sick?

Yeah, man, he had, uh, he had cancer, but it was like they found it out of nowhere. His dogs pulled him on his leash and it like pulled something in his like abdominal slash like rib cage a little bit, and it was hurting him. Was hurting him for a while and it got worse and worse, and he started coughing a lot more and everything. And eventually he went to the doctor and they were— they did a whole scan of everything and they were like, dude, you've got stage 4 cancer. Like, like, lungs black. Yeah, so it was, um, he was, he was perfectly healthy like 5 months before he passed. Dang. I know.

Was that scary? Like, were you guys really close?

Yeah, that was definitely, um, that was definitely like my best friend. That's— that was like my father figure growing up and everything. It was? Yeah, yeah, definitely. I spent every weekend of my childhood with him. Every single weekend.

Yeah.

Oh, I definitely wouldn't have got into comedy if it wasn't for him.

Dude, yeah, it almost looks like your daddy's so young.

Yeah, geez, that's— it looked like a Zika baby.

Let's go! Got a dome on him, bro. BLM, dude.

I know. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, he fucking— he loved comedy. He's the one who used to take me like the open mics when I was like 15, and he would pay like the $5 ahead to like show, like bring your show shit. He would like buy 5 tickets.

Would he go perform?

No, God no, no.

But he would get you into it?

You mean like physically?

Or like, why did he— he took you over there because he knew you wanted to do it?

Yeah, yeah, like he thought I was funny. Like we would, we would fucking kill each other laugh every weekend my entire childhood. Um, so it was really cool. He got to see me, he got to see me sell out a comedy club. I think it was the Cincinnati Liberty Funny Bone. Yeah, before he passed. Which I think is the hardest part. It's like you kind of like what we were talking about with Ralphie earlier. It's like if there was one person I wanted to share all of this with, it would have been him. So the fact that like he doesn't get to see this kind of sucks.

He's out there. Steve, that's his name? Yes.

What's up, Steve?

Shout out Big Steve, my guy.

Oh, dude, he fucking loved Ralphie too.

Did he? Oh yeah. Oh dude, that's so cool, bro. He can hear us. I feel him right now. Steve's milling around, bro, with his 97 different haircuts.

I know, bro, that was like the shortest his hair ever was. He used to grow down to like his butt crack, dude. Total, total hippie hair, man.

Dude, a lot of people with name Rick have ponytails. You notice that?

Mostly Ricks and Steves, I would argue.

Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, ponytail is a Rick and Steve.

It's a power move, dog.

Yeah, bro.

Yeah, I'll still like— I'll pray to him before every show and everything, just be like, hope you enjoy it. In case he is watching.

Amen, bro. That's awesome, dude.

Thank you.

That's quality stuff.

I appreciate that. Yeah.

Um, I want to pivot a little bit. Some of your comedy specials, your first few came out on YouTube, right?

Yeah, yeah, I put out the first two, and then I did a crowd work one on YouTube as well.

And then did you do one on a stream— on a streaming platform?

Uh, then it was Netflix. Yeah, that did Natural Selection for Netflix.

Netflix. Did you feel any difference? Because like one is more of— it feels like it's a— it feels like it's more for the people, like from, you know, just— it feels like it's— did you feel any difference between like doing some that way and doing one for Netflix?

Or, um, I mean, you do a special for Netflix for like self-validation to be like, I have— I made it to what is supposed to be the pinnacle platform for comedy. But I think the difference was the YouTube stuff I did entirely like by myself. Like it was just my friends helping me. Like I directed the first one, then I got Eric Griffin to direct the second one. And even the crowd work one, which was like a totally experimental thing. I literally did it with me and, uh, and, uh, my buddy Elton actually ran camera by himself. It was me and one person did an entire crowd work special. So I mean, it was exhausting, but it was super, super fulfilling to like have a hand in a little bit of every piece of the creative for that. So I mean, I think it was different in, uh, in that sense. Also, the, um, the, the reach of viewership I think is different for YouTube and Netflix, is not everybody has Netflix, not everybody likes Netflix, and you got to have a subscription to it versus YouTube. It's so easy to share. Like, I can text you a link, you could watch it right now, and then you could text that link to 10 other people.

So I think you actually reach— you have a potential to reach more viewers on YouTube than you might on Netflix. Yeah. So I guess it's again, like, what does it mean to you, right?

Yeah, it's interesting, dude, because yeah, I'll do— I got one that's coming up, but I think about like, yeah, what I like to do it on Netflix. Yeah. Okay. And we're just— I'm looking at a cut of it later today, but it's like, what I like to maybe do one in the future that would be maybe just for YouTube YouTube. Yeah, that would be more just for like, you know, I do it myself completely, you know. I don't know, I just think about that sometimes and what that's like.

Oh no, I battle with it all the time. I'm doing my next special, it'll be towards the end of the year. I can't really say when yet, but I don't, I don't know what I'm gonna do with it just yet. I'm not 100% sure. There's different pros and cons, obviously.

Yeah, and you're at a place right now where you can kind of do it, what you can do, what you choose.

Yeah, absolutely, which is pretty nice. Yeah, just trying to figure out what fits best.

You got kind like pinned with like being the crowd work. Like, your crowd work started to kind of like take clips and make it so that a lot of people were doing crowd work. Do you feel like that that's kind of a true statement?

Yeah, I would say so. I mean, I definitely wasn't like the first one to do it. Like, uh, like Schultz was a big inspiration for me doing that. Like, his crowd work's fucking— he's amazing at that.

So good at it.

He was doing this thing that even made me want to start doing any of my YouTube specials where he was doing like a new minute every every single week. Like, he would post a new clip every single— that's 52 minutes of material throughout, throughout the year. Uh, it was genius. And he would sprinkle crowd work in with that as well. And, um, I was just like, holy shit, I see the importance of content in this, in the stand-up market, which I don't think anybody had really been paying attention to. Like, you put out specials, but that's what, once every year, maybe once every 2 years?

Yeah.

Um, but we weren't like— comedians weren't being in people's faces all day. Like, you weren't prominent on a platform form that people kind of couldn't avoid you, which I think is, you know, prominent for the, uh, for the algorithm.

Well, especially if you don't have— if you're not pod— if you don't have a regular podcast. Like, with podcasting you do because you just have clips, right? Of course. But if not, yeah, it's hard to find like what is that thing without doing a sketch or like planning this big thing.

And that's, that's why I like doing the bit of crowd work that I do, do in my show, because like it's new and refreshing, right? Like, it's— I'm not doing the same stories and jokes night after night after night that you have to deliver like it's your first time ever saying it. Like, this is something so new and spontaneous that I I can post online. It's not burning any of my material.

Yeah, dude, I saw the one where, uh, you saw one of your teachers. Is that— was that one of yours? Did you have a teacher that came?

No, I think that was Trevor Wallace.

Oh, that was Trevor Wallace.

I think his teacher came. Sorry, dude. It's okay, it's fine. Um, yeah, I'm fucking with you, man. Oh, I was like, yeah, we can. Just kidding, man.

That's okay, dude. All right, fucking Trevor.

No, I'm not going anywhere, man.

Trevor impersonated you though, I think, and was— it felt like he was like trying to steal your shit. No, no, I'm just joking. I'm just fucking joking with Trevor. He would never do that. He's the nicest guy.

I love him. He's very, very nice.

Is there— I don't know if there's— he is so nice, dude. Um, but did it ever feel like, like then you had to be the crowd work? Like you had to do that?

Yeah, it's a little bit of that. It's kind of, you know, I talked to Adam Ray about this recently too because, you know, he's gotten so prominent with like his characters that he does with like Dr. Phil and Biden and everything.

I stepped into that and done— it's unbelievable.

Genius, by the way, to find— that's such a specific lane that nobody else has been doing.

Nobody.

Um, I asked him, I was like, do you find people coming to your show and like just wanting the characters? And he was like, all the time. Like, sometimes I'll be in the middle of a story and somebody be like, do crowd work. And I'm like, I'm gonna fucking get to it if I feel like it, okay? It's not— that's not all this is. Like, I'm a goddamn jukebox. Yeah, it's crazy, man. But I mean, I do it because I enjoy it, you know?

Yeah, that's like when I was in like— I couldn't eat when I was like doing those wiener pills. It's like, get an erection! You're like, I'm trying, man, give me a few minutes.

Yeah, let me warm them up a little bit.

Yeah, dude, let me nibble off a freaking chunk of my roommate's wiener pill at an angle so he won't notice it's missing, you freak. They're only freaking 5mg tablets.

Do you, do you ever, when you're touring, like, do you ever do any crowd work at all?

I do some of it more often now, and I really like it.

It's just fun. It's just something silly and spontaneous. It gets a bad rap for people being like, oh, you're just doing it because like you don't have the material. That's such a hack response to have to it. Like, that's— by what means does that mean that?

Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, like I was— we were shooting this thing in Lexington a few weeks ago and somebody yelled out AIDS right in the middle of the show, and it was just like— it was a woman too. Jesus. And usually AIDS is more of a guy's thing or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. So then what are you gonna not acknowledge it?

I know, dude. I was like, oh, that's how bad things have gotten. It's like people just yelling AIDS out, dude.

That's the other hard thing as well, is like, uh, venue-wise now, the smaller venue I do, the more people yell out because they want to be the person that like gets talked to. Like, they want to be the next clip. I'm like, it doesn't work like that. It's usually the least assuming person you talk to is probably like you're gonna get the best shit out of them. It's not like the, like, the pick-me Yeah, person in the back.

That's true, dude. It's always like that.

A comedy club is like so intimate, we all kind of feel like we're hanging out, that in like a living room to where it's nobody really wants to be like the dickhead to interrupt. Like, that's kind of perfect. And an arena is so big that like you— I think they assume they— you can't hear them, so they're not gonna waste yelling out. But like anywhere in the middle ground, like a theater, people are like, I know he'll fucking hear me. Yeah, we yell some wild shit.

Yeah, dude, I think it's like there is this weird thing where you yell because you kind of want to be heard, but you do not want to be called on. There's some of that energy too for some people.

Oh, of course.

Like, you want to be a part of it, but you don't want to be a part of it.

Oh, I love the person— I love, like, the, like, the wife brought her husband and the husband didn't want to sit up front. He's like, what if, what if he talks to me? And the wife's like, it's not all about you, Ron, you know what I mean? And then you end up talking to that guy and he's like, this is my fucking worst nightmare. The wife's loving it. I love that dynamic.

Has it ever backfired? Like, take me on one that backfired. Was there— have there been one that backfired? Like, because, because when you open it up to the crowd, that's another thing. Suddenly 40 people are— they want to have a, you know, they want to offer a suggestion.

It's very hard to direct a room full of people who are like, okay, now it's my turn. So I mean, that, I mean, that does happen quite often. I mean, usually I'm pretty good at shutting it down and everybody can kind of be cordial, but it happens. But you also get duds, you know what I mean? Like, you fucking, you interview people, you know what it's like to talk to somebody who you can't hold a conversation with. So I mean, that happens all the time. I'm not gonna post that clip, obviously. So yeah, it's not magic every time, but when you do get it, it's such a fun feeling to have that moment right then, right there with people.

Yeah, dude, one time there was a guy and his wife— he had a wife or girlfriend, whoever it was— had the craziest, like, um, like tits, right?

I love you. Couldn't think of tits, okay?

And they— well, they were so crazy, I couldn't even— it was hard to categorize them.

They were so insane. Just—

yeah, just— he's just boom, bang, you know, just like some real, just onomatopoeias.

Okay, okay.

Okay, just like some damn fucking— just some milk tonsils, you know? Just some like L5-S, none. Like you have no cartilage left from holding those up. They were just— yeah, they were— you could just feel like one of— you could feel, um, one of her, uh, vertebrae having trouble.

Goddamn.

Yeah, you could feel it, dude.

Them Hindenburgs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had them damn blimps and front blimps. Front blimps. So anyway, dude, but they were craziest looking tits. And she— you— and the guy's like— I said, oh, what do you do? He's like, you know, I, uh, stock vending machines, you know. And I was like, and what do you guys put them in? He's like, muscle milk, you know. And he says muscle milk, but then you see where you think he's getting the milk from. His wife's just sitting there all quiet with the craziest tits, like, oh yeah, acting like she doesn't have crazy tits or whatever. And she was wearing a little bitty hat. You ever see somebody who like pins a hat on their hair and acts like it's a real hat.

Brooch. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, it's a fucking brooch. It's a little— it's like Toy Story hat. Yeah, like, bitch, what are we talking—

did you address them? Did you address the titties?

Yeah, I said, well, I don't know. I said, well, where are you guys getting the milk from, right? And that was just— and dude, there was nothing else through the rest of the night that was like— there's just something about that thing that's in the moment where— and it was just simple. There was nothing I really had to to do. Of course, it was just—

sometimes it just presents itself, bro. I was in Philly. Yeah, this was, this was in Philly. There's a guy sitting front row, he's got like these like slack pants on and just had the most amount of dick sitting in the front of his pants.

Like a conglomerate.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, like a, like a 7-dick pileup right in his own pants.

Melted 8 or 9 dicks on his dick. Like, it was, it was so prominent, it stopped me in the middle of a story and I like, you got— I took the camera off the cameraman's shoulder, zoomed in on it, the place went— it looked like he shit the front of his pants. Like, it was so much dick. It, it honestly ruined my night. I was, I was upset. I was insecure for the next like 45 minutes.

Yeah, dude. Oh, when somebody shows up with that stepdad cock or whatever.

Stepdad cock is such a real— as somebody who had a stepdad, it's such a real thing. I was so mad I wasn't his.

Oh yeah, for a few years, man. I'd have been afraid to come out of that thing though. That stepdad cock, dude, you can't. That's why he doesn't have any kids, bro. A kid wouldn't make it out of that thing, brother. Oh, this is it right here. Biggest dick ever.

Is this a video of it? Uh, it's probably a video.

Yeah.

And put your fucking dick away.

Put your dick away.

I know, cameraman, don't zoom in. You don't have to. I can fucking see it, dude.

He's smuggling Unbelievable.

Cameraman just like wouldn't get the shot of it, and I was like, hold on, why wouldn't he? I know, sometimes, sometimes they're like 3 inches away from somebody's face and I'm like, get out of there, you have a zoom. Hold on, it's tangled up in his dick. Hold on a second, hold on. Look at this fucking thing.

You're moving the camera, bro.

Look at that thing, man.

Big bro got that front yard dog.

Remember Alien when it's coming out of her fucking stomach? Yeah, that's what it looks like. Wow. Yeah, dude, that's a lot, man. Turtleneck dick is just a different confidence.

And he's wearing a turtleneck too.

Yeah. No. Yeah, man, he knows what's up.

That's insane. That's Christmas dick. If you weren't a turtleneck holiday hog, tight pants, brother.

Yeah, he knew.

He—

you gotta know that's not comfortable. There's no way.

That's— oh no, that's all tight, brother.

I'm so glad my dick isn't that big.

Like, yeah, so glad about it. Yeah, same, same.

Um, but yeah, man, you get some, some weird stuff like that.

What about, uh, are you married? You're not married? Oh yeah, no, single. Okay. And do you start thinking about getting married or anything like that, or do you even think about that kind of stuff? Or like, does your mom bug you about that? What's your mom doing in your life these days? Because she was giving you a hard time about working for Ralph What is, uh, does she still like have that managerial energy or now she kind of trusts where you're at?

No, she's, she's so happy with where I'm at, dude. I just got her her second house. What? Yeah, the first one just wasn't working out and she was like by herself in the middle of nowhere Georgia. And she's like, nobody comes and visits. I'm like, no shit, you live in the middle of nowhere. So I moved her out to, um, to Colorado where my sister lives. Now she has her, uh, she's there with the grand— her grandkids and stuff. My little sister's got kids.

That's nice. Oh, your sister has a couple kids?

Yeah, she's got two daughters.

Oh, that's your mom right there. What's her name? April. April, what's up April?

You know what's so funny? If you look at mom, Christina from Iowa is on the top thing. She's actually more prominent than my, my own mom in most of these.

Really? That's her right in the middle?

Uh, Christina, top, top right corner, the blonde hair.

And who was that, your ex?

No, no, no, no, that was, um, that's— God, arguably probably my most famous crowd work thing was she's like this really hot mom, actually grandma who lives in Iowa, and I met her on stage. She gave me like these cookies and this like really sexual shirt and everything. And I, bro, I was like 10 minutes into the show when this happened. I did like an hour and 20 minutes just talking to her, and it was crazy, crazy good time the entire time. Like, we were great chemistry, great banter, the crowd was fucking loving it. But at the time, you can only post a 10-minute clip online on like Instagram and stuff, so I had to edit it all down to that. Like, the whole show was that, which never happens, by the way. Like, that's Sounds like I didn't have material ready for the show, but like it was just such a really cool in-the-moment thing. And what's stupid about— it's got over, like, I'm sure collectively over a couple hundred million views.

Dang.

Yeah, really? Yeah, it's awesome. No way.

She's awesome, dude. That's the best, bro. Where in Iowa was that at?

Um, Des Moines, the Funny Bone there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, sometimes crowd work is, uh, it's different every time. That's the fun. You don't know if you're gonna talk to, you know, super hot mom biggest dick you've ever seen, or somebody, you know, somebody all crumpled up in the corner. You don't know.

Yeah, it is kind of great. Oh, there she is right there.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is great, dude. With crowd work, there's something really special about it.

It's just real and in the moment, you know?

How do you get the, um, how do you get your cameraman now? Is you have a special cameraman who's want—

who's like sitting right there? Kyle.

He gets all— you do it all, Kyle?

He does all the— he does all the crowd work stuff.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, then we do a little collaborative editing system together. Yeah, he shoots all of it. This was, man, the comedy clubs, that feels like a lifetime ago. This is probably 3 and a half years ago, maybe something like that. Wow. Maybe that feels like a different lifetime ago.

Um, are you off tour right now? Are you going back out? Is there any new places that you're going that you're a little bit like, um, new places this year? Not like new countries.

Um, we just got back from Europe, which was really awesome. We did, um, we did England, we went to Romania. Romania was fucking Awesome.

My friend, just the second guest in a row that's talking about Romania. Really? My friend just quit playing basketball. My friend Patrick was playing basketball over there. What?

Yeah, he's white.

White guy? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Can I tell him the story? Okay, so we get to— we have like 5 weeks in Europe straight. This is night 1 of us landing in Romania of the whole trip. Night 1.

5 weeks is a long time.

Very long time. Night 1, we're like, oh, we're gonna go out, have some drinks. It's Friday night. We'll see what Romania is about. Kyle gets roofied and robbed the first night on tour.

How do you know you got roofied, Kyle?

I woke up in an ambulance 50 minutes away from the hotel at 9:30 in the morning. My chain was gone, my camera was gone, and they spent $3,000 on my debit card. Yeah, he couldn't like remember, and they had to like carry him through the lobby and everything. He was fucked up, dude. It was pretty funny.

That checks out.

Night one, dude. Night. Well, it was like we got back to the hotel at probably like 4 AM or something like that, and we're like, hold on, Kyle wasn't with us. I checked the location on my phone, he's still at the bar. We thought he had left earlier. That's why I'm texting with him. I'm like, yo, like, do you want Jackson and I to come? You know Jackson McQueen?

Oh yeah.

Um, he's so funny, he's hilarious. Um, I was like, do you want Jackson? I will come, come back and get you right now. And he goes, no, it's all good, I'm heading, I'm heading back to the hotel right now. I was like, are you sure? He goes, yeah, I'm heading back to the hotel. Go to sleep. I wake up at 9:30 in the morning, my phone's ringing off the hook, and I'm like, fucking what? They're like, yeah, Kyle's in the back of an ambulance right now. It's like, no fucking way.

Did you communicate with him, Kyle?

No, I could barely open one of my eyes, and I was— I knew I got beat up by strippers. I remember that. That's all I remember.

Do you have a grill in right now?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay, that, that's interesting.

We're sitting in the van day one after his recovery, it's all quiet, and we're trying to ask him little things about— we're trying to give him some space, and he just goes He goes, I think those strippers were mean to me. It was so, so somber. We're like, what? He goes, yeah, I think they pushed me down a lot. It was one of the meanest things I've ever heard.

That's wild to say that specifically. I think they pushed me down.

It was heartbreaking.

Yeah. And all you got was that grill. Um, the worst part is, dude, and just not taking the grill is hilarious.

I'm gonna leave them something.

But dude, Dude, uh, you did a show in Romania?

Yeah, Romania was awesome. We did two shows there. It was so cool. I guess comedy is like a new growing thing there. It's like people are starting to go and perform a lot more if you get an opportunity. They were a fucking awesome crowd. I would love to go back.

And do they speak— is there enough English spoken there?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, everybody, everybody there speaks English for the most part. Oh yeah, Dracula's Castle.

Is that close to Estonia, I wonder?

I mean, close-ish. I think Estonia is a little bit further north, I think.

Because we had Ari Matti and he's Estonian.

Yeah, dude, Ari's the best.

He's a tornado of comedy, dude.

Europe crowds are fucking awesome, man. I love performing overseas.

1,000 miles apart. Yeah. Oh yeah, good time, dude.

Sweden was awesome. Oslo was really cool. I love performing in England and the crowds are so much fun.

Oh dude, yeah. We had some good— we did some good spots over there. Ireland.

Ireland's the best show of the tour every time I go there. They're fucking great. Scotland was amazing. You can't crowd work in Scotland though, dude.

Yeah, why not?

Can't fucking understand them. Oh yeah, I'll say something, they'll say something back, and I don't understand it, and the crowd is like, they're fucking cooking me, dude. And I have no idea with what they're saying.

They're— yeah, it's legendary over there. What's up, what's up, uh, what's in the news, dude? Anything in the news that we wanted to look at? Oh yeah, what's anything good to talk about? Oh, what do you think about these data centers and stuff? Do you think about that kind of stuff? Like, because that's kind of crazy.

I, I just I just had to help stop them from putting in one, um, in Rhode Island. Yeah, they had to like have a whole town hall meeting and everything like that.

You went to it?

I couldn't go, but my friend went and spoke on my behalf, which was very nice. She was very passionate about it, and I mean, she had my approval. I couldn't agree with her more. It's just, it's, it's so peaceful out there. It's gonna— it's, it's just fucking up what we have, man. I mean, I don't know too much about them. I'm not even gonna pretend like I do. Yeah, for sure. But, um, the one thing, the most prominent thing that stood out to me, because it wasn't gonna be that far from my house was there was going to be like a non-stop humming coming from the building. I was like, I don't want that. I love the— I can hear birds outside, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, especially, yeah, like something just humming in the distance, dude. Yeah. New York passes data center moratorium and consumer protections as environmental and housing proposals stall.

Um, so what data is going into these things?

Why do— why— yeah, why do the data centers need to be so big? Do we have anything about This is perplexity. Um, data centers are built for continuous operation. Power, cooling, and network paths are duplicated so a failure of maintenance event doesn't drop workloads. Having parallel systems and physically separated paths. Uh, well, my thing is just this, like, so we, we're already keeping a lot of data, right? Like our phones, we record stuff all the time. It's on the cloud. The amount of data that they must want to store now must be astronomical compared to what we're doing. So that's what I don't understand, unless we're going to go into a surveillance state, right? Which is, that's what it feels like a lot of times.

It feels like they already are.

Right. Because then they're going to have to record around the clock, everywhere, everything.

Yeah. And it's going to put these— they're just going to put these storage places and random places around the country. That's so strange to me.

Yeah, Aaron Brockovich, I know, was just talking about it. Um, I want to get someone on to talk about some of those data centers just to learn a little bit more about it and what's going to be going on. Yeah, let's see what this says right here. This is tech billionaire Oracle CEO Larry Ellison confesses a dystopian AI mass surveillance network.

Citizens will be on their best behavior because we're constantly recording and reporting everything that's going on. And it's unimpeachable. The cars, the cars have camera, you know, cameras on them. I think we have a squad car here someplace. But those kind of applications using AI, if we can use AI, and we're using AI to monitor the video, so if that altercation had occurred, that occurred in Memphis, the chief of police would be be immediately notified. It's not people that are looking at those cameras. It's AI that's looking at the camera. No, no, no. You can't do this. It would be like a shooting. That's going to be immediately— that's going to be an event that's immediately— an alarm is going to go off. It's going to be— and we're going to have supervision. In other words, every police officer is going to be supervised.

It's going to be wild.

What the fuck, man?

I mean, play that beginning part again. Play the first 20 seconds. What does he say? This one part.

Part. Citizens will be on their best behavior because we're constantly recording and reporting everything that's going on, um, and it's un— it's un—

because we are constantly reporting. It sounds like they're like, like they're going to be reporting to him. You're going to— that's the thing.

It's so fucking weird, dude. I mean, do we have to be watched all the time?

I don't know how we can stop it now. That's the scary part.

Why do we need it though? I, I mean, I understand they're pushing the agenda of safety, but but like, we have to. How much safer is it gonna get? Is it just gonna be for accountability, you think?

I think that's— it's like— and also there'll be a level of control there because—

yeah, I would say so.

Yeah. If you don't do certain things, then you're entering this space. Well, you didn't op— you didn't do things the right, the perfect way, this exact way.

Yeah.

So then what are the repercussions of that?

It's fucking weird, dude. I don't even— I don't even want live in this time, to be honest. I know, it feels just kind of like it's too futuristic, it's too, it's too invasive. When would you have liked to have been alive if you could like pick a couple of decades to have been like, oh, prime you?

I think probably born in— because I think you— but part of you does, I feel like, want to kind of know. It's weird, you want to know how it. You want to be a part of the world in the sense you want to like— you, you hope that the world ends well, uh-huh, because otherwise you feel like, what's the point? I think that starts to happen. Yeah, you— for me anyway, I'm like, you want to— I feel like for past generations, I bet it felt like, all right, let's leave it better, we're all building towards something. And then now suddenly I feel like we're all standing in a cul-de-sac and we're like, what the fuck are we building towards anymore? Our grandparents are like doing OnlyFans now, they're like, we're checked out, we don't care, it doesn't even matter, dude. Like, everybody—

I like— I do feel that way.

Some of that energy is like, what are we doing?

Yeah, I don't know what it looks like, a generation after this one, you know? I have no— like, I have no idea what that looks like. Yeah, I think I would have— I would have liked to have been born maybe in like '60, 1960. Yeah, grow up in the '70s. And then you're a young adult in the '80s, and the music culture alone for that would have been fucking awesome. Oh, it's great for film.

Everything was magical.

I've heard good things.

Yeah, everything was magical. And then you get to see how dystopian it's getting and be like, yeah, I'm glad, I'm glad I'm leaving, dude.

I feel so weird being like the last generation of people who wasn't like chronically online. Like, I didn't— this isn't young for some people, but like, I didn't get a cell phone until I was like, I think I was almost, almost 15, something like that. It's like I still got the childhood of like I got the privilege of boredom. Yeah, I think that's good for your brain to be a kid and have nothing to do and have to figure it out how to entertain yourself. Go, go make up a game, go play pretend, go walk around and go throw something through somebody's window. Yeah, we're gonna go break some shit. I think that's good for you.

Yeah, dude, your mom came home, you're like, you got arrested? You're like, yeah, I fuck—

I don't know, what else was I supposed to do?

Yeah, yeah, I threw something through someone's window. I didn't know it would break. Break. Just shit like that. Like, you just didn't know anything.

And I think that— I think it makes you a better person.

Oh dude, so now wandering around just bored, hoping something would happen. A car drove by, you're just watching it go by, just watching it, dude. Laying on your floor and like hoping your mom wouldn't come home soon, but also hoping your mom would come home soon so somebody's around.

Yeah, here's some racket. Yeah, I think it's good for you, man. And there's that— that's gone. People will never have that again.

Taking a thousand naps. If anybody came to the door, you would go talk to them, even if it was like a, you know, a, like, a registered sex offender, whatever. Didn't even matter. You keep the chain on to keep them out, but you still at least talk to them because it was somebody to talk to.

Of course. And they were charming, you know.

Yeah, they were good at what they did.

I remember having to like ride your bike across town to see if your friend was home. Oh, and they burnt. Oh God, and you just had to go back. Yeah, dude, across town. You biked miles. Oh, across grass, dude.

It was— yeah. Oh dude, yeah, you'd find a new way to go. What is this video right here? We'll watch this and we'll get you out of here, man. I know you got a show tonight. Okay.

You heard about these flock cameras popping up?

I have heard about these flock cameras. This, this is— these are start— these are like some of the, um, early, uh, cameras are going up everywhere. Mass surveillance, public safety. They are linked to the new AI data centers. Let's play it. You won't believe the stickers I found. Somebody is putting these buggers up on every flock camera in town. Not enough people know that these are not just license plate readers.

These flock cameras build profiles on individuals that are walking by and in vehicles.

They use things like gender, clothing, behavior, and even biometrics to build profiles on you for their Nova platform, even integrating social media profiles, email data, and places that you go.

And Flock's data feeds directly into Palantir's Gotham, which already powers ICE deportation. What if this is GTA 6? Like, they're scanning everybody in real life, in the real world, and everybody's gonna be in the game.

That—

that's why it's not out yet.

That, first of all, is the excuse that they need for why it's not out. And two, that would be absolutely amazing, dude.

I mean, they just change a little feature about you, but you're like, you know, that's you.

But in the future, they could do that. Some of these companies could then license your existence somehow, where you at in certain areas, into a video game like that. And that gets kind of crazy, dude.

That's pretty sick.

Yeah. Let's finish out here. Let me see. Flock cameras have exploded across the US because they're cheap turnkey crime-fighting tools that let even small departments tap into a national vehicle tracking network. Um, Flock sells subscription packages that include the hardware, cellular backhaul. Their cameras continuously capture plates, timestamps, and vehicle metadata, push it to Flock's cloud where cops can run searches and set alerts on hot lists. Um, Flock has marketed directly to police, HOAs, and private business, centralizing all plate reads. By 2024-25, the company said it had cameras in roughly 4,000+ cities and over 5,000 communities. What's up, bro? It's here.

Oh, it's already in? Yeah, it's done.

That's the new Annabelle, dude, and she's out of the box. Matt Rife, man. Um, you have your new— you're going on a tour?

Uh, I'm on tour right now.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, Stay Golden Tour.

Amen, bro.

We're going through the rest of this year, so it should be fun. Yeah, there's some fun cities ahead.

Nice.

I'll be back here in Nashville in October for Bridgestone.

Okay.

Yeah, you're in town for— you got to come through, dude.

Dude, yeah, I will be in town. My friend Is somebody dying or getting married?

What's happening in October?

Same thing. October 10th. Yeah, October 10th, something's happening.

It's my grandpa's birthday. It is? That's creepy. Dang, that's creepy. Shout out Steve.

Steve, Steve. Um, bro, yeah, thank you. Congrats, everything. FTX is coming out. You don't know when yet?

Uh, the FTX series comes out this December.

And is that what it's called?

Uh, no, it's called The Altruist.

The Altruist.

Uh, that'll be on Netflix. And then we've got the movie with Owen Wilson coming out in October, so be— it's a nice little end of the year.

Oh, Rolling Loud, the movie, that's what it is? Yeah, yeah, dude, that's crazy, bro. What do you play in this movie?

Uh, I play his, um, his work colleague who happens to also be at the festival. He's like a big festival head and he helps him look for his lost son in the festival. So it's just me, him, and this girl Christine Ko, who's a hilarious actress. She was on Dave. Yeah, so we kind of help him look for his lost son.

Amen, bro. Bro.

Yeah, dude.

Um, best of luck, man. Congrats on everything, dude. Thanks for stopping by and spending some time with me, bro.

It's a pleasure. I know we've been trying to figure this out for some years now, so thank you for finally making the time.

I appreciate it. It's a blessing, man. Your life seems active and busy. It seems like you stay, uh, active in your own life as much and just, you know, show up for yourself and, and get things done. That's exciting. It's inspiring.

Thank you, man. I appreciate that.

Yeah, it's the truth.

Matt Rife, thanks, brother. I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be Cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little