Transcript of Shakespeare, Roosevelt and The Rizzler: Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Tuesday. Speaking of the one I love to choose, it's Jacqueline Follet. Hello, Jacqueline. How are you today?

Hi, turtalou. That's actually so nice because if you listen to yesterday's episode and then go right into today's episode, we leave off on a fight. And then to know that today I'm the one that you choose, not that you really have a choice, but let's just go with it. It's beautiful.

It's giving sisters It's giving sisterly things.

That clip from our little fight yesterday had me seriously in tears.

Do you feel this call? Isn't it so crazy that we are sisters? Because we're so many things to each other, right? We are business partners. I would say that we're best friends, but we also are family.

Yeah, it is crazy to think about. And I'm sure there is one person out there right now, at least one, who did not know that we were sisters until this very moment. Claudia and I are sisters. Same mom, same dad. Our blood. 100% sisters. And it's very wonderful. What %? 100%.

What %?

100%.

No.

100%.

And there might be one person out there listening that doesn't know I released two amazing songs, both the anthems of this brand and this show. One is called Toast and one is called 100%. You can stream them wherever you stream music and just add to my billions of downloads.

And there might be one person out there listening who doesn't know that I wrote a children's book last year. And I've actually been having a renaissance with the Camper and the counselor because before it came out, I read it to Harry 10 times a day. It was his favorite book. And then all things with kids, we moved on. But it's coming back into the fold. I read it yesterday, start to finish. It's so, so good. And if you're looking for a children's book for your little one that rimes, that has a really good message, great pictures, The Camper and the counselor by Jacks.

I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that I also wrote a book, not for children, for adults. It's a memoir of sorts.

It's a-Memoirs of a memoir.

It's a memoir of a attorney. It's a memoir of a attorney. It's called Girl with No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Third Sponsored. It just tells me story of how I got to be where I'm at. Fun celebrity, tidbits, girl boss things. I think that you really enjoy it. A lot of people did. It made the New York Times bestsellers list, so you can get it anywhere you get your books if you're interested.

I actually think that there might be one or more people out there who don't know how we got started doing this podcast. I'm saying that in earnest, probably that's a question, How did you start the podcast? What made you start it? That's all in Claudia's book. It is covered. If you've been curious about the genesis of La Toast.

I didn't even pay her to say that, you guys.

Yeah, no, but I feel like that's a logical question. If people stumble upon this podcast, what business you in.

What business you in?

That was so funny. Claudia and I were in a meeting. We were? We were in a meeting a week or two ago, and we were telling someone-Was it Zoom or IRL? Zoom. We were telling Zoom. Wait, I tell you the story. You'll probably remember what I got to say. We were Telling to someone how we're really in hustling season. We're really crushing it. We're just working really hard. And it's what we said, and we carried on with the conversation. And then she was like, So when you say we're hustling, What does that mean? What are we hustling? And we're like, yeah, no, that was really giving. We invented Post-its. It's just like a mindset.

It's a mindset.

We invented Post-its.

We did. We meant to podcasting for the girls. That's for sure.

Yeah, amongst the pioneers. But Heather McDonald, she makes it hard to say we invented it. So true.

We literally didn't. Yeah, no, she was here before us.

It's ahistorical because of her.

It's so true.

She's getting in the way of us making her story.

We also, low-key, haven't We've even been nearly as annoying as we could have been, because tomorrow we're announcing something really fun. We've been teasing it. If you've been paying attention, you might know. But if you- We've really not been teasing it.

We've been lightly alluding.

All that to say. And announcement Wednesday, just get ready for Friday. The announcement tomorrow will get you ready for Friday, if that makes sense.

I guess it does make sense. It sounds annoying, but classic us.

Yeah, no, we haven't been annoying as much as we could be.

Also, that's classic podcast investing influencer content creator. Get ready for Wednesday because something's coming on Friday that you'll be able to do next week.

The Prevasivy banter this morning thus far has been extremely self-promotional. Just taking note of the content.

I understand that. I feel like it had a comedic flair, so it wasn't all bad.

It had a comedic flair for sure.

I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that we run a Patreon.

Where you get more content. We beat you guys over the head with it. I don't know how you wouldn't, but yes, there might be one person.

Where you get more content from your girls. That's all I'll say. Yeah. Now we can talk about things-For the price of a cup of coffee. Promoting other people, which is what we do all day long.

So true. It's exhausting being this machine.

So who do you want to What's your moat?

Probably myself. You know?

What did yourself do?

I laid in bed and rotted watching Gilmore Girls yesterday. I also made a beef stew, and Did you, though? Did you? Jackie has this beef stew recipe. Now, I feel like there might be one person in the world who doesn't know the history of beef stew on this show. There was a time period where Jackie was obsessed with making beef stew. I think she was breastfeeding, and she found it to be good for her supply. Not only was she making beef stew a lot, she was talking about it a lot. That was just this place in my life where I could not receive the chatter about beef stew. I was being really negative about it, really toxic. Every time she talked about it on the toast, I rolled my eyes and did everything I could to change the subject. Then, lo and behold, a couple of months later, Jackie and I were on vacation together in the mountains. It was very stewy vibes, and she was like, Let me make the stew. And again, I was just railing on her. We actually vlogged the whole experience on our Patreon. And I finally had the stew that she had talked about, probably for a year, and it was unbelievably delicious.

And I, of course, had foot in my mouth. It was great. Okay, another thing I was wrong about. So yesterday, as of yesterday, it is so fall. It's so chilly in New York. It's amazing. It's been cloudy. So yesterday, I was like, All right, I'm whipping out my crockpot, my first crockpot of the season, what should I make? I'm like, Well, let's do the beef stew. How different can it be? Jackie makes it on the stove. I make it in the crockpot. But whatever. I just didn't follow any of Jackie's rules. I just threw everything on the ingredient list in the crockpot at once, put it on high, and thought in four hours, it would be ready. It was disgusting. Ben, at 6:00, was like, Listen, we're going to have to eat at 8:00. He took it off the crock pot, put it on the stove, and just did his chef-y thing. Added a bunch of seasonings, more tomato Just a couple of cups of red wine. At eight o'clock, we ate. It needed four more hours. It was fine. It was fine.

I'm curious, though. You did sear the meat, so you followed that step. But I'm curious because we couldn't figure it out amongst ourselves. Maybe people will let us know, why didn't that work in the crockpot? Isn't that what a crockpot's for, or is crockpot not for soupy sales?

If you can't make a stew in the crockpot, what the hell is this appliance for? I do think me starting at 2:00 and hoping to eat at 6:00 or 7:00, I think I was thinking too small. I think it needs to be in at 8:00 AM, and then by dinner time, it's ready. It's really a slow cooker. Four hours is not slow.

Yeah, even on high.

Right.

Okay, so maybe that was the issue. You just didn't leave it long enough. But I saw what was in your crock pot, and that was just not my dish. Oh, my God. This is not my plate.

It looked like something they serve in prison, like clear brown liquid.

I was going to say Game of Thrones, go to the ale house. This is the barley you get.

You're traveling from Kings Landing to Westeros. To the north. Yeah. You're just like, forlorn, and you find this, yeah, 1,000%, this pub.

You needed a cup of ale. How did it taste-ish?

Bad. Bad? It was eatable. Eatable?

There's a word for that.

Edible. I was able to eat it. I wasn't enjoying it, but I was so hungry that I just was eating the meat for sustenance. I needed the iron. I needed the protein to bring me back to life. I was going to faint. Dinner just kept getting pushed back and kept getting pushed back, and I was so hungry.

Dinner has been canceled due to lack of crockpot awareness. Literally.

Now, I had wanted I'm not going to make chili in the crockpot, but now I'm just nervous.

I do have a crockpot chili recipe. It does require four hours in the crock.

It appears as though I can't just take pre-existing recipes that aren't for the crockpot and just put them in the crockpot?

But you can. That's the point. I interchange my chili between the stove and the crockpot. It really makes no difference. That's what I'm saying. That's why we need... A lot of you guys are crockpot experts, unless you use a line, your cheese don't sound off. But can someone write in the comments, Where we went wrong here?

I knew something was off because I went to take the trash out hours into this excursion. And when I came back in, I was ready. I'm like, Oh, I'm going to smell it. Like, Oh, yeah. I didn't smell anything.

Was your crockpot on?

Honestly, yes, it was because I saw the condensation on the lid and the buttons were lighting up and it said power. It was on.

It said power.

It said power.

You need to get a book of crockpot recipes.

Yeah.

Even though that reminds me of the one part that I read about Long Island Compromise. In the beginning when she's cooking in her microwave from a recipe book of recipes to cook in your microwave, and the book is made by the microwave manufacturer.

I think you texted me that you were going to give Long Island Compromise another go.

Here's what. I have to start the Redheads book. So Long Island Compromise is being shelved. When I finish the Redheads book, there's a chance I'll pick L-I-C back up just because I've made Headway. But what I'm realizing is this is my worst year for reading since before I learned how to read. Same. Which was in 2019. I thank God for the red heads because it makes me read a book a month. I would have read, seriously, three books this year, max. However, sometimes I pick up a book and I want to keep reading it. I find free time to read it because it's so good. And now I need to realize if a book isn't making me feel that, I need to move on because I don't have all the time in the world. And if I'm not feeling motivated to read, I'm not going to read. I really need to be more selective in what I'm reading because there's just not as much reading time.

I, too, am on track for the worst reading year of my life. I feel like that's the sentiment in the country. I don't think it's just us. I think it's a nationwide thing. I think literacy levels are down. Send off in the comments. Is this also your worst reading year yet? If you're a reader who reads a lot of books every year. Last year, I think I was pushing 70 books. I'm not even at 15. Interesting.

I wonder what it is because for me, I know it's just lifestyle, and I've just gotten really busy, and that's something that has slipped through the cracks. But maybe it's also the quality of books. I feel like the last few years have been booming for the book business and the girly swirly writers who write the hits, they've been churning them out. Maybe what they're churning right now isn't the best, and it's not motivating people to keep reading. Maybe that's just a theory. That's a theory. Here's my theory. If what you're saying is true, that this is a universal slump in reading.

We'll find out. But here's my theory. I like that theory, though. It might be better than mine. My theory is that when you become a girly swirly reader, there are so many books that you have to read. The girlies who came before you did the work for you. So you really know the great hits that you have to do. Of course, seven husbands. And I feel like after a certain amount of time, you did them all.

Yeah, I agree with that. But I hit that wall a a while ago, and it just made me work harder to find books. And also by then, I knew what I liked best. So I was able to go down historical fiction rabbit hole and this is where I leave you. Now choose your path. You want to read more smut, you want to read more historical fiction, non fiction. But that definitely is true. And that is something that every girly swirly reader has to overcome at some point. I've read the hits, where do I go from here? And then you read the tier two four-star hits.

The tier 2 four-star hits, yeah.

And then you have to start doing your own sourcing, which can be hard. But for me, aside from Long Island Compromise, it's not a lack of choices. It's just a lack of time at the moment for me.

For me, it's not even a lack of time. It's a genuine lack of interest. I don't know. I can't pick up the Kindle. There's so many other things I'd rather do.

I know.

So that's what I'm dealing with.

It's okay. Everything... It's all a phase. That's what I say about everything. It's just a phase.

It's another gloomy day here. Very chilly vibes. So I'm feeling really grateful. I got to work today, and I wasn't sweating for the first time in a couple of weeks. So it's a good time.

That's so nice. I'm living in a simulation where I simulate in my home, the weather and the vibes that I want. Soon I'm going to have to put up projectors outside my windows so that I can have snow falling. So there are days... Yesterday, I had to hit the road right after the toast, so I have to dress for my climate, which is unfortunate. But today is a home day for me. So it's super cozy, chilly I'm really here, too.

Listen, create the seasons you wish to see in the world.

Yeah, I'll just crank down the AC. I got my coil, so we're good to go.

You never updated as someone happened. You decided not to replace the unit.

I didn't replace the whole unit. I replaced the coil. It seems to be working in the- Coil be coiling. What?

Coil be coiling.

Coil be coiling. The risk is that it craps out soon, and I do have to replace the machine, but for now, it's good. When you do come down to visit me, you shall have AC.

Oh, in my bedroom It's fun fact, the last couple of times I've stayed at Jackie's house, the AC in my bedroom, that's not a service that the wine reps provide for me anymore.

In that bedroom? Yeah. But now you do have AC in your quarters. That's exciting. In turdy's quarters. In her own little corner in her own little room, she can be whoever she wants to be.

What else? I didn't really get a temperature from the comments yesterday. If people liked when you tease the stories at the beginning, I I personally liked it.

I saw one person say that they liked it because I think a lot of people do look in the notes about what the stories are. So it's nice to hear a little preview.

Okay, so tell us a little bit about what's going on in the world.

Here's a little bit about what's going on. It's going to be hard to really jazz this up. Major fashion show news, major sports theories and news.

Sports theories and news?

Sports theories and news. Okay. I'll leave you at that. You're going to have to keep listening to find out.

Stay tuned for more.

Casting news, parenting, celeb parenting news, and a little music news.

Okay, big. I don't even know one story that you're referring to, so that's exciting.

That's good. Now you want to keep listening. What is she talking about?

Do a little dance, make a little laugh, get down tonight, never going to give you up.

Never going to give you down. Exactly. I guess now we could get into the stories that are incredibly vague.

I guess.

I guess.

Have you seen the conspiracy theory on the interwebs that John Mulaney got a chin implant?

I saw the theory. However, what about it is conspiracy?

Right. Because when I saw him live performing the Hamptons, I don't know if I mentioned that I saw him live at the Hamptons this summer. I thought, I'm like, damn, he had a glow up. He grew his hair out and he looked really strong. I actually could not put my on exactly what it was that looked different about him. This conspiracy theory that started on Twitter when an eagle-eye viewer pointed out, that was exactly what it was. I couldn't figure out the difference, but it was the very square-like shaped jawline. Now, there's a little bit of debate over whether it's filler in the jaw or an actual chin implant. But I'm glad we're talking about this.

Yeah. It definitely looks like a new chin.

It looks really good. Normalize getting a new chin. I did it.

You didn't do it.

We did a different... He wanted a bigger chin. I wanted a smaller chin, so I got liposuction in my neck.

But nevertheless, we both didn't like our chins. Yeah, but what he did, a chin implant, puts your little thing to shame.

Yeah, no. Mine was just a little outpatient needle in my neck. Not a big deal.

Classic. It's just another Wednesday.

Yeah, just contributing to the toxic beauty standard for women. I literally am symbolic of the unrealistic standard for women when it comes to beauty. Between my skin, my jawline, my physique, my hair. I know I'm a part of the problem, and I'm sorry to all the women listening.

But at least you're honest about what you do. That's, I think, the solution.

I guess. But in an actual serious sense, because what I just said was a joke. Maybe it's just because I'm secure and I'm not able to be influenced by people on the internet or celebrities. I do not compare myself ever. I do not feel that female celebrities are required to share their cosmetic procedures. If you want to share, cool. I definitely find that interesting. But I don't feel like, You have to tell us what you've done. You don't. You can keep that to yourself.

Yeah. I mean, if it's effective, we'll see.

Yeah. If you look at a woman, let's say Kim Kardashian, and you're like, Why don't I look like that? You're not able to critically think that she probably had work done on her face and body. You probably should say off the internet because it's important to have that literacy. I really believe that. I don't think it's incumbent on other people to share with us what they did.

Yeah.

But I know you're unique in that.

I don't know if you're unique in that. It just is not the prevailing sentiment, but it's like, what does everyone actually think?

It's important that we protect our peace on the internet and think critically and think for ourselves.

Yeah, that's a good lesson, period.

Yeah.

Stop comparing. Like Liv Schmidt.

Yeah, perfect example from Liv Schmidt.

Any updates on Liv Schmidt?

No, she's been silenced, so we haven't heard from her. Even though I do think she started another account quickly after being banned. So if you're desperate for her content, I do believe there is somewhere to find it, but it's not taken off.

Got it.

Okay. She's waiting. She appealed the ban, the judicial system.

The TikTok judicial system. Now, that's Justice.

Big time.

Big Justice and AJ. Big Justice. I feel like Big Justice and AJ are really having a moment of global virality. When I feel like when I met them, yes, on Patreon, I did a Costco shopping haul and I ran into Big Justice and AJ. That is a big deal. I feel like they were having more regional virality, and overnight, it just exploded, maybe from a Patreon.

I wouldn't say they were having regional virality. I would say they were having platform-specific virality. If You had TikTok, and you happened to be on this side of TikTok where people do hauls from Costco. You knew them. Now, if you're an internet user, you know Big Justice and AJ. I agree, they are definitely having a moment, and I'm so happy to have discovered them, honestly. I invented them in this family, and I don't want anyone... I literally sent them a video, a I sent Olivia a video so long ago, and I was like, By the way, this is literally your future son and your husband. This is them. She thought it was so funny, and I invented them, and I just want to go on record saying because I know everyone's going to try and steal and take the credit away from me.

No, not me. You won't hear a peep from me because I didn't really know them until the day that I met them, and it was a wonderful day.

If I had a quarter for every time someone in my house said, We bring the boom, I seriously could buy a whole Costco. It is insane. Yesterday, I was helping Ben. He's filming an ad, and it was for food. I literally was like, You are big justice right now. You're being so big justice.

Big justice is a dad, right?

Yeah, and AJ is a son. Then they have ancillary characters, people they collab with. Do you know the Rizler?

I thought the Rizla was a snack.

The Rizla is not a snack. The Rizla is a human being, a little kid who is so funny. I think he's from New York, so they travel to each other a lot, and they film podcasts and lies. The Rizler is three feet tall. He is so funny. The Rizler.

I thought it was the chicken bake, the Rizler.

No, the double chunk chocolate cookie. That Big Justice loves the double chunk chocolate cookie from Costco. That's his thing. And then AJ loves the chicken bake.

Right. Okay.

The Rizler is a human being.

The Rizler is a human being. Okay, cool. I got to keep up. I really do think they exploded since they released their song. I think that was really the tipping point.

I want to say- Like you when you release Toast. Literally. Not to bring it full circle, but for sure. I don't know who's managing them. I actually think they manage themselves. They're super organic, but every step they take in their career is brilliant, beyond brilliant. Releasing a song, genius. The song itself, Oscar, Grammy. We bring the boom. That's what we do. We bring the boom. We bring the boom to We bring the boom, your favorite father and son.

Pargy.

Obsessed. Pargy.

Okay, now, without further ado and without further boom, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you,.

You're welcome.

Our first story, a little fashion news. 2024, L'Oréal Paris Fashion Week runway took place in Paris for Fashion Week, and the stars were out. So L'Oréal, the beauty brand, has a fashion show.

Yeah, they have every year. It always makes waves because they do a good job. It's literally that episode of Sex in the City. Are you a model or a real person? And then Carrie falls on the runway. Literally the best episode.

Where it's when she falls in Dior during the Petrovski era?

I don't know. This one's really good. She thinks she's such hot shit on the runway. Jackie, she didn't want to wear this outfit because it was too skimpy. Then all of her friends gas her up. They're like, You're Carrie fucking Bradshaw. She was like, I am. And then she goes out to eat shit. It's amazing. The fact that Michael Patrick King, whatever his name was, hated Carrie so much is so evident in the show. And in episodes like that, you really can't ignore it. I love it. But L'Oréal does this every year, but it's really on a major scale. They always have the biggest supermodels. They have Kendall, Cara Delevingne, but then also the biggest influencers. They cover a bunch of different categories, and then also regular folk.

But also because these are their brand ambassadors. Kendall is the face of L'Oréal. So Kendall walked, Cara Delevingne, as you said, Eva Longoria, Camila Caballo, Jane Fonda, Heidi Klum, Viola Davis, Andy McDoul, our fave, Bethany Frankl, which we'll get to. Anita, Simone Ashley.

Not Anita. I literally thought She was one of the models. Her walk was so sick. I didn't know that she was not a model. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I mean, they all look like models at this point. Everyone who's an actress is a model, and a model is an actress.

A singer is a model, as a model is a singer.

I would say one standout name from this was Bethany. That was surprising when she was walking, and then people are coming for her and her walk. Did you see the video of her walking?

Of course, I did. Let me say something. Bethany is an inspiration to so many women. Her Her Beauty Takes are so popular, and she really makes a lot of products go viral. So L'Oréal tapping her, and I think she works with L'Oréal. I know she does a lot of ads for their hair company, and she likes a lot of their beauty products. This is a long-term partnership for her. I think it was actually really smart of them to tap her because is really viral. Everyone's talking about her now. She's major. I think a lot of older women really look up to her when it comes to beauty because she's very no-bullshit approach, whatever. The walk wasn't amazing. They should have given her different shoes. I think she was just having a hard time walking in the shoes.

Here's what she said, because she did an Instagram story when she got home. I think she literally still has her hair in the bun. She said, I chose those shoes. L'oréal said, You can pick anything you want. And I chose those shoes because I wanted to be like a giraffe, like elongated legs, like one of those long-legged creatures that walks a runway and looks like they're not even the same species. She said that she loved her walk because that's what the show was about. It was not about being perfect. It was about being perfectly imperfect and doing what you want to do. And it's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it. I posted that video because I live for it. So I love what she said. It's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it. Exactly. You could tell on stage, if she wanted to walk differently, she could have at least... She wasn't even trying to walk normally. She was stomping. She had a little march.

She was trying to, yeah.

A little flare. She was having fun. I really think anybody who's seriously sitting home being like, Why is Bethany there? Why is she walking like that? You're missing out on the joy of life.

No, it's so true. You know what? She showed up as herself. She wasn't showing up as a model. She was showing up as this really influencer, reality star, whatever you want to call it, but this influential person when it comes to makeup. She just showed up completely as herself, and she was so proud of her walk, and that's literally all that matters. I agree. I think her response is amazing. It's very true. Everyone sits at home picking their belly buttons, commenting on what other people look like and whatever, and it's like, please.

And what other people do. It's like, Well, you don't do anything. So yeah, it's easy for you to sit there and say and poke fun at the brave person. It's the man in the arena, turdy.

It's It's so true. And of course, the comparisons to Ramona were, I think, a lot of people's first instinct because housewives on the runway is its own category of pop culture history.

It's true. Bethany Frankl is the woman in the arena. I want to pull up that quote because we need our yearly reminder.

It's such a good quote.

It's such a good quote, Teddy Roosevelt. The man in the arena, it is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who heirs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end, the triumph of high who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

The middle lost me a little bit. It's a little long, but yes.

You got I'm coming back at the end. I'm coming for the poor timid trolls.

No, it's very true. If you watch a video at the end of the day, Bethany looks like she's having so much fun. I think she's so proud of herself, and that's what comes through. I love the response. Actually, I loved this event, broadly. I agree. What are they showing off in a fashion? What are they promoting? Showing off in a fashion. I don't know. But it always ends up being a big viral moment for L'Oréal. They always get really premium talent, either people who work with them long term, like Kendall is the new face of global L'Oréal or just influencers. I think last year, a lot of the favorite makeup girlies walked that girl. Her name is not Kendall. She looks like Kendall. What is her name? Whatever. Is her name Kendall? Whatever. They do a really good job of surveying the beauty landscape. Bethany, right now, she's having a moment. They leaned into that, and she had fun, and that's all that matters.

Yeah. The picture where she's not walking, and she just looks so fantastic, and the shoes look great.

Yeah, the shoes look great.

That was fun. I want to talk about Kendall for a moment, if we may, because Kendall has gone blonde. With the blonde hair. Yes. I saw this theory that Liz Wood posted on her Instagram that really has stuck inside my head that said, Celebrities go blonde when they've just had work done. Then they go blonde because you're like, Oh, they look different because because they're blonde. Then eventually, by the time they go back, you were just like, Oh, they're back, and you don't really notice the work.

Isn't that a good theory? That's a very good theory. It is. I happen to really like Kendall's blonde hair right now, and maybe that's what she wanted me to think. But it's not like Kendall is someone who never plays with her hair. I remember she had that red face. So it really could be either.

I just like it as a theory in general, and I also think that it's a good strategy if you are trying to obfuscate your work.

I know it's so true. It's Hey, look at me, but don't. No, Hey, look at me.

Yeah, I look different because I changed my hair.

Right. We'll have to wait for her to turn back. The thing is, a side-by-side photo always helps.

Because now we're onto it. But if she just turned back, we'd be like, Oh, she looks different again because she turned back.

Yeah.

I thought that was a little interesting trick of the trade.

And that actually would make sense as to why the Kardashian's for so many years have had, every single one of them, so many different hair colors, except for Courtney.

Except for Courtney.

You know that toxic hair dye, it's not seeping through her follicles.

That's true. But it could also be a wig.

And I often wonder with the Kardashian's, because it was a period where they were all changing their hair so much, and there's really no way that they're bleaching their hair as frequently as they are.

I think Kim did the one time, and she kept it for a very long time.

Should I go blonde?

Are you getting work done?

I wish. What would you suggest?

Just a cloning.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Are you ready for our next story, our sports theory news?

Yes.

Because some big football news from the weekend that we didn't touch on yesterday, but that we're going to get into today is Travis Kelsey's performance in his big game. I'm so glad my Travis made it to the big game.

I'm so glad my Travis made it to the big game. One step closer to Kelsey being my last name.

Because if you play like you aim worthy, which he did on Sunday- You can call me Mrs..

Taylor Purdy.

Mrs. Taylor Turdy. He did play like he wasn't worthy on Sunday. And there's a lot of rumors swirling about Travis Kelsey right now.

Oh my God, the man can't have a bad day. There has to be theories around it. This is his first bad game, seriously, since we've all started watching, which is now two seasons.

One. But also, apparently this season, he's had a slow start. Now, the analysts are chirping.

The analysts are analyzing.

Analyst is going to Guys, some are telling him to retire amid his career worst stats. Some are saying that he partied too hard in the offseason with Taylor. He went to the US Open, had a honey juice, and that's why he's not fit to play. But then also on Sunday, I think Patrick was not passing as much to Travis.

So people thought there was beef.

I think he had his feelings hurt a little bit.

But I think- Maybe honestly, Tia and Tamara, maybe it's like Trump versus Kamala, Taylor and Brittany.

By the way, I'm glad you brought that up because you need to explain what we found out right after we wrap, which was that, Tamara- Yeah, I apologize.

Yesterday, I knew I had heard a theory, and I should have just googled it. So, Tamara is the one who's confirmed Republican. When she was on The View- The Real. Oh, my God. Sorry. The Real, she actually spoke about how her husband, who's a Fox News correspondent, works at Fox News, loves Trump, and I think that their family is He was in the process of showing her a whole new world. She became a conservative woman. She had to go on The Real and be like, Listen, my husband's not racist. It was a huge thing. It's an ongoing story.

Okay. Okay, but just to say, we were theorizing that Tia was the Republican, and Tamara was the liberal, but it's actually the opposite.

But the concept was valid. Yeah, but still unclear. I got my sister's wrong.

Still unclear if That's what drove them apart. But just to clarify, there is a political divide, and it was the opposite sisters.

But I don't know. Where does that leave Taj? I can't talk about these sisters again because yesterday, everybody wanted to kill me for getting their politics wrong. But yeah, thank you for reminding me. Just a little correction.

So yeah, this is giving Tia and Tamara a little bit, but was Patrick not throwing to Travis because he's a Republican or because Travis doesn't have what it takes these days?

I don't think these professional ass men would literally ever let politics. And Patrick has been asked about politics a lot, very directly in press conferences, and he refuses to engage. He's like, That's literally not my job. I don't believe in telling people who to vote for. Do your research and find the best candidate for you. I actually don't know if Travis really has his He had fully invested in the election. I think that was a joke.

That was a joke that I just said, by the way, because that's not what I was thinking. I think really the more story here is Travis at the end of his career. I know two bad games doesn't mean you have to leave now, but there was a lot of talk.

I also think a lot of talk.

I think he was Travis crying?

He had a fabisun apunum when the camera cut to him because he missed a really big catch him. He's sitting there yelling at himself. We've all been there. He's experiencing self-doubt. You see it all happening across his face, like a thousand different emotions. He's obviously embarrassed because everyone's watching. But another element is that the Kansas City Chiefs, as we've said many times, they're on their way to building this dynasty, and they're investing in other good players, too. So it's so much so that Patrick isn't throwing it to Travis. Is that Patrick has more options now when it comes to players to throw to? That means less catches for Travis.

Statistically, that's what it means. And then the two times he threw to him, he dropped the ball.

And it's like, Yikes, we don't really have time for you to be fucking shit up. So why don't you just sit this one out? Yeah.

It was a little awkward.

I want to say I am really grateful that the football community, people who were fans before last year, aren't just being like, Look, Taylor's ruining. Because I just knew the second that Travis started fucking up, people be like, He's spending too much time with Taylor. He's not focused. His best games were when him and Taylor first started dating. I was happy that we weren't scapegoating.

No, he won the Super Bowl with Taylor by his side. This is not a Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo situation.

Exactly. I'm glad we're not blaming Taylor because I know people would automatically be like, Well, it's Taylor.

Actually, they could blame her in the other way, which is that this was the first game in a while that she hasn't gone to. Then I'm so sad, my Travis played bad at the big game.

Now, I do want to say him partying so much in the offseason, I don't think is a thing, but this new level of Fame makes him very busy. He has this new FX show, Grotesquery. He's hosting, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader? Those are in and of itself full-time jobs. I don't know if he's parting. I think maybe he's spreading himself a little thin with all the opportunities that have come his way. The practice is suffering.

He's not in the gym.

Andy Reid, anytime he's been He asked about it, especially in the beginning. He was always like, Listen, the game hasn't suffered. His skills haven't suffered. So I don't give a fuck what he does in his private life. Well, now, he's a little Oco-Taco. I wonder what change. But I do think it's not fair to make these grand assumptions off of a game.

Yeah, but the analysts are saying, I think we might have missed the last few games, not picked up on the fact that he wasn't playing his best. And then because he was crying on Sunday and Taylor wasn't there, it's become clear. Now, I'm not saying that means he has to retire tomorrow, but is this the writing on the wall, so to speak? How old is he?

That's Jackie, what I was looking at.

34. That's young. Jason is how old? 36?

Thirty-six, yeah.

That's like- And he retired. He just retired. So Travis should have two more years. That sounds right.

Did you see the picture of Jason, Kelsey, in a He's wearing this bathing suit that's taking the internet by storm.

Now, where was he in a bathing suit?

At the beach. Somebody just took a picture with him, and he's wearing this little bathing suit. You just see his body, I think, for the first time. I think this was a lot of people's first time seeing his body. In the shorts, in the position that he's sitting, just grip really everything. It's really a crazy photo.

I'm looking, but I don't think- He's sitting in a chair on the beach, and there are two girls behind him taking a photo with him? No, it's not going to be easy to find.

No, it really should be.

I just searched Jason's Kelsey Bathing suit.

Also, what happened? I was thinking about this the other day. What happened to the ESPN body issue? Do you remember that? I loved that. Even before I was into sports, I thought it was so beautiful how they paid such respect to both men and women who devote their whole physical being to their sport. Then they take these really tasteful, not nude because they cover vaginas and booms, but they're nude otherwise. These really beautiful portraits of the biggest athletes in all different sports.

Yeah.

I thought it was so beautiful.

I had forgotten about it until just now.

Yeah. Final issue was in 2019. Why? Because we're objectifying, but we weren't. I always thought it was so tasteful.

Why don't you keep digging? Why was it final?

Why did ESPN stop doing, consumer habits are evolving rapidly, and this requires ESPN to evolve as well. The network said in a statement, the only change here is that we are moving away from printing it on paper and sending it in the mail. That's not an answer. That was a bad call. It was a bad call.

Yeah. Maybe they'll bring it back, like the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

Yeah, I remember this. Really made news. Vince Wilfork, who doesn't have the typical what you would think an athlete's body is supposed to look like.

I'm on my way.

No, they really covered everyone. It was beautiful. I loved it. A lot of these images are hidden when you search them on Google. Oh, yeah. Then, of course, I remember the... Was that Amari Stoudemire? Yeah, who was totally naked and put his hand in front of his penis. People were like, How can you cover your whole penis? It was just the the fingertips. People were like, Wow, does Amari Stoudemire have a small penis? Maybe that's why they got rid of it because people were being disgusting, myself included. Still, I just want to say my contribution as a sports podcaster, bring back the ESPN Body Issue. I liked it.

And bring forward Keeping Up With Sports. No.

I'm actually glad. I know one of your favorite... Your Roman Empire is the fact that Caitlin Jenner and Lamar Odom announced a podcast with the worst title ever called Keeping Up With Sports, where they were going to do sports for the girlies, and they never released an episode. I know that is your Roman Empire, but let me just say I'm so glad they never did.

I still feel like it's forthcoming.

It's been a year.

I think it's in production. We've got to get them on the toes to find out. We do. So that I could just move on. If it's not happening- So you could sleep. If it's not happening, I can grieve. And if it is happening, I can just sit tight.

Of course.

Are you ready for our next story?

What number?

Three.

Oh, yeah.

The aforementioned cast Interesting news is that Margot Robbie and Jacob Alorty are set to portray Gothic lovers, Katherine and Heathcliff, in Emerald Fennel's Wuthering Heights adaptation. Now, we all know Wuthering Heights from high school English. We do.

I know. I've heard Obviously, Wuthering Heights, and I definitely read it.

I can't remember if it's one of the ones that I did read or that I loved.

I know that the trees... What is it called? The moors? It was a big thing. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

Let's get a little summary.

I remember sitting in English class. We were talking about the trees. There's something about trees in the book.

For sure. Oh, they're weathering, aren't they? In the late winter months of 1801, a man A man named Lockwood rents a manor house called Thrush- Lockwood. Thrush-carros Grange. In the isolated moor country of England- The moors. That's what I said. Here, he meets his dour landlord, Heathcliff, a wealthy man who lives in the ancient manor of Wuthering Heights, 4 miles away from the Grange. In this wild stormy countryside, Lockwood asked his housekeeper, Nelly Dean, to tell him the story of Heathcliff and the strange denisons of Wuthering Heights. Nelly consents, and Lockwood writes down his recollections of her tale in his diary. These written recollections form the main part of Wuthering Heights.

Now, I think for a lot of girlies, this casting news shakes them to their core. I think a lot of people regard this novel as they regarded little women waiting with baited breath to see who would... I don't even remember this book. I don't really give a fuck. I feel like Margot Robbie is busy. I don't know how she's doing this. We just announced she would be doing The Sims movie.

She's pregnant.

Get you a girl who could do both, The Sims movie and Wuthering Heights. Talk about range.

Yeah. I'm set for this. I like Margarabi. I like Jacob Lourdi, I like a period piece. I don't think that I read Wuthering Heights in earnest. I think I just spark notes at best.

One thousand %.

So I don't know the story. No spoilers. I'm sad.

I mean, I think we're all in agreement that when it came to high school reading material, none of us ever read any of the books except for The Curious Case of the Dog in the Middle of the Night. That was a universal experience.

So that was your one book that you read that stuck with you. The one book that I read that stuck with me, and I feel like I chose it- No, Jackie, it's not the one book that I read that stuck with me.

It was the one book that I read, period. Right.

And so it has stuck with you because you read it. And the one that I chose, and I actually think I made a good choice in what I chose to read, the one book was... Spit it out. The Portrait of Dorian gray. Fabulous book.

That's That's a classic. It is. I mean, like a classic novel.

That's why it was chosen.

Yeah. It's like, why? If they wanted us to really learn to read, they should have had us reading Tessa Bailey and Colleen Hoover. Let's be real.

Well, they knew you were reading that at home.

But I wasn't.

Well, you were probably reading... We were reading Gossip Girl on the A-list, so we were doing- The It Girl, yeah. We were doing our reading for fun at home.

Yeah, Massy Block and the Crew.

And that's why I couldn't be bothered to read Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre, which I did read Jane Eyre two years ago to of catch up. I didn't miss anything, by the way.

And none of us read The Catcher and the Rye, right? And we certainly did not actually read Fahrenheit 451.

Certainly not. Did not read The Sun Also Rises. Can't remember if I read Great Gatsby or just saw the movie enough to know the story, but I do feel filled on my Great Gatsby cup.

Yeah, I know. I didn't read Great Gatsby, and the way I couldn't fucking hear about the meaning of the cover with the green light. The green fucking light. If we had one more A fucking conversation about that light, and I was thinking, I was like, this is probably a new cover. When he wrote it, that probably wasn't even the cover he wanted.

No, but in the book, the green light is such a symbol. What is the green light?

And Tony Maguire is staring at the green light.

I just feel everyone was focused on that, and they were missing other stuff because they were so- Like the dead man in the pool. Right. Because they were so focused on that.

Oh, my God. Like, literally, English was one of my least favorite classes. So much material and so much conversation spent on what do we think the author meant by this one word. Maybe he just was tired and used that word. Maybe it's not that deep.

No. I also feel like if an author wants us to know their meaning, just say it. Say it with your whole chest.

I know. We spent all this time interpreting what we thought they meant as if they didn't just write out. He meant what he said because he said it.

It's not the Bible. Paradise Lost. I don't know what that is. I think it's a poem, Something Dreadful.

Literature is dreadful, sorry.

It really is, unfortunately. However, this is a great way to get us into some old classics.

Teaching the Youth.

Wuthering Heights, ex Jacob Alorty.

I wonder if they're going to wokeify it up. Like, does Heathcliff have blue hair? Does Heathcliff Have Blue Hair?

Does Heathcliff Have Blue Hair?

Is Lockwood queer? Queer. By the way, I meant in actually the real book, Lockwood was queer. Queer. That's not them changing anything.

Totally.

Love that.

Yeah, we'll see. We shall see. But I'm open. It's all been the same.

Actually, we're just having this conversation about the word queer with some queer people. Do they identify with that word? No. No? I'm like, No. Being gay, I feel queer. To describe yourself as queer versus being gay, you're being intentional, right? I think queer signals a lot of other things besides just your sexual preference. I think it's more of a lifestyle, too.

Like a vibe.

Yeah. A vibe. That's a perfect way to describe it. It's just like, I'm queer versus I'm gay.

Yeah, gay is pretty straightforward. You know what it means? I'm gay. I like men. I'm a man who likes men.

Or a woman who likes women. I think if you're saying queer, yes, my sexual orientation is this, but I also...

This and that and this and that.

Deodorant is optional, vibes.

Amongst other things, yes, I do understand. I didn't realize that there was such a discrepancy.

There is. I'm pretty sure. If our queer contingencies could sound off in the comments, are you gay or are you queer? Because I know they technically mean the same thing, but I think there's a lot of social context to one and the other.

I understand what you're saying, and I can see it.

I'm letting you know as an ally, I'm letting you know what the gay community is saying.

I appreciate that. I just learned that. When I just said, Lockwood is clear, clear, that's That's kosher?

Yeah, because we were talking about, I think queer is much more woke than gay.

I understand what you're saying, and I could see that, and I could feel that. You feel it?

Yeah, it's like a feeling.

It's a feeling.

But sometimes when you're talking about gay culture, it's fun to say queer. I think queer is a fun word to say, but it has a deeper meaning.

But it's also an umbrella term. So you're covering a lot. When I say Lockwood is queer, it could mean a lot of things. It That's why I said it, because there's a lot of potential for Lockwood.

Yeah, but I'm saying in the book, Lockwood probably was gay.

You don't think he was queer?

No, I think he was gay. I don't think queerness existed back then. That's what I'm saying. Queerness is, I think, a new term, and it's a new culture.

In the way that it exists now, but I think what it used to be.

Back in the day, people were gay. They weren't talking about it. Yeah. But they weren't queer. You know what I mean?

I understand what you're saying, but they were still queer. Just the meaning has changed, and the meaning that we mean today, that's not what was happening back then.

You're talking like, Miriam Webster, definition-wise.

Yes, it's been in Miriam Webster for a long-ass time.

I'm talking about vibes.

I understand. My brain is starting to break from this. It's always wrapped my head around. You'll get there. No, I just feel like we're talking two in the weeds.

Yeah, we're not even queer. What the hell do we know?

Yeah, it's like, Zoom out, zoom back out. Yeah, big bang. Big bang. Big queer.

Are you ready for the fourth and fifth story that are brought to you by State Farm?

Yes, I am.

So this episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, Literally what? But really, the words you should be thinking or singing are like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. So State Farm is there with the coverage that you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage that you need. With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing you can find what fits for you. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm is giving you options there, too. So maybe you're like me, a very fast-paced, bright lights, big city girl. When you need to get something done, you want to get it done quick, you're using the State Farm award-winning app or website in a very technology swirly type of way. That's how I'm getting help from State Farm and contacting my agent. Perhaps you live like Jack's. I'm much slower existence, really desperately seeking that human connection.

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Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

I love the high voice. It's fine.

You're never going to be able to give me my flowers on that.

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Thank you, Claudia.

You're welcome.

Our next story, a little celebrity parenting news.

Okay.

Kristen Bell is casually recalling letting her 11 and nine-year-old kids explore a theme park unattended all day on vacation so that she and Dax Sheppard could spend some time alone.

I feel like this is a reminder me when Ashley and Mila were like, We don't use soap. You know what? Everyone, do your own thing. Very Matt and Abby. Do your own parenting thing. Stop telling it to us. Like, enough.

Yeah. I feel like Dax and Kristen, like Mila and Ashton, fall into this category of sharing these things about parenting. I think they do it to be relatable.

We wanted time alone. Like, Girl, you're rich. Get a fucking babysitter.

No, it's so true. But anyway, she went on Jimmy Kim Alive to promote her new Netflix show. Nobody wants this. Another Oh, I do want to see that show.

That's written by Aaron Foster. I was talking about Jimmy Kimmel.

Right. When you go on a late night show, you plan a story that you're going to tell her a couple, whatever. This is what she shared, that they casually let their two kids explore a theme park unattended for hours during a recent family vacation. She began by telling Jimmy that being a parent of two young children going on vacation can be pretty stressful. She said, Don't you find that going on vacation as a parent, it's not a vacation. You're just watching your kids a different city. Yeah.

And taking a private plane, please. I can't.

Jimmy agreed, noting that it's worse than being at home. And Kristen said, Truly, because they have none of their creature comforts, they're asking you a thousand more questions than they normally do. Oh, God. Then she revealed that her and Dax's hack to getting some alone time was that when they were in Copenhagen, they stayed at this hotel that was right at the Tivoli Gardens, which is a seven acre theme park. The hotel opens up into the theme park, and so we were just like, Are we going to go free range and roll the die here? We let them wake up at 6:00 every morning. They just scanned their bracelets to go outside. Didn't see them for seven hours, just running around Copenhagen. Visibly surprised, Jimmy questioned, and that was okay. Kristen replied, Apparently, they're both alive. We I will return to home. Your podcast isn't broken. We're just speechless.

No, I'm asking what I'm doing.

Who are you calling?

Child Protective Services. That's fucking crazy in a foreign country letting your 9 and 11-year-old. The thing is, I never, ever, ever, ever want to criticize someone's parenting. But you telling this story is like, you're opening yourself up for the parenting shameers to come in. It's like, this is the same thing with Matt and Abby. Everybody does their own... You cut corners. Not everyone's perfect, of course. Shut up about it. I'm sorry. There's really no excuse. Like, Oh, we're tired. We want to be alone. Girl, you are literally so... I wonder who's richer, you or your husband. I literally don't know. Hire a fucking babysitter.

Yeah. No. Or they had one, and that's a part of the story that she's not including. She's not sharing it. I actually think this share is crazier than Matt and Abby. Duh. I'm not seeing any backlash for this. I'm just seeing it like it's just classic press, Dax & Kristen, parenting news.

This is why people hate celebrities, in an attempt to be relatable, which is just... It's insulting. Of course, even no matter how much money you have, being a parent is hard. But to even try and compare what it's for regular people. It's so insulting, and it really is patronizing. Talk about something else. This is why people hate celebrities, because not only are you sharing in this really patronizing way, what you're doing is insane, if true.

No, that's really insane.

It's just like, this is, to me, I roll central. Him and his huge podcast with his biggest Spotify daily, they didn't even say he probably got $100 million. She's been in a million movies. They are collectively the face of making She's a tagwashing machine. She's in every fucking commercial on the planet.

Stop. I actually think they are one of the most successful couples in Hollywood, and they're pretty low key.

In a non-traditional way.

I think they do stuff like this so people forget how much money that they have because I think they really profit and benefit from Being seen as relatable. Being relatable. They have a baby care company that's great. Hello, Bella. I have so much of their stuff.

Oh, my God. That's them, that sunblock that I was using?

The sunblock that you were using, yeah. It's like diapers. It's all baby goods.

Oh, my God. To me, this makes me sick.

They really from people seeing them as relatable parents. The idea, yeah, going on vacation with your kids, it's not a vacation. It's just doing your parenting in a different city. That is true, but that's what makes it fun and different. No.

I'm sorry. This is also a bad story. This is setting a bad example because you should not do this. A foreign country where there's a language barrier of letting your kids go out by themselves, which she probably didn't. I can't stress enough how she probably had an actual security guard tailing them the entire time along with a nanny. Oh, right.

They're also famous children. Right.

Someone might see I see this and think that it's... Look, they're the beacon of parenting. They own a parenting company. If they did it, I can do it. This is actually bad.

She said it was heaven. We just had coffee, we played spades, and then around three o'clock, we'd be like, Anybody see them? Then one of them would run up and need a bandaid.

If it was an amusement park where you can look at your balcony and it's a confined space, there's only so much you can go. But this is a seven acre amusement park open to the public. Not funny. I'm not laughing. Ha ha. It's It's not funny. It's not relatable. It's stupid. And you're probably lying, too.

Yeah, maybe, perhaps.

You're telling me you have all the resources in the world and you wouldn't hire someone to protect them? Just someone to tail them? The thing you love most?

Right. There's someone to just go You're not with them. You don't want to wake up at 6:00 AM, fine, but just to tail them.

Right. What's worse? They're lying to the American people. That's bad. Or you actually did this shit. I actually don't know what's your worst. Oh, my God. The story is really bothering me. Yeah. Getting lit up.

Yeah. I don't know.

I just hate when somebody who loves pop culture. I hate when celebrities talk down and really try to pretend that we all have the same problems. We don't.

Or use that against us. Use our love for this thing is that they could just feed us anything.

Because being a parent is super, super hard, but having money makes it easier. I think anybody who says it doesn't is a liar. Having access to childcare makes it easier. Flying first class on an international flight or flying private however they flew. Then on top of that, you're a celebrity, so you just get special treatment, which makes your life easier traveling with two kids anyways. You get to cut lines and things like that, like VIP treatment. So please. Yeah. Please stop.

I think you said it all, sister. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Bitting is such sweet sorrow.

Bidding, fairwell. What's that from? Heathcliff? That is Heathcliff. Shakespeare?

Who uttered those immortal words? Heathcliff?

Shakespeare? Hamlet?

Bitting is such... No, wait. What did I say? Bidding is such sweet sorrow.

Is that it? It doesn't sound right. Bidding what?

What's bidding? Yeah. Bidding a do.

Bidding- I bid you a do. Claudia, let's Google it. Bidding is sweet sorrow. Nothing's even coming up in suggesting.

Did I just make this up?

I like it. Maybe who uttered those immortal words? Turd's peer.

Okay.

Parting is such sweet sorrow. From Romeo and Juliet.

I actually read that one, by the way. Add that to the list. That was a classic that everybody read.

Yeah. I feel like growing up, it's like, Romeo and Juliet. We're singing it in a love story. Maybe I should just read it when the time comes.

I switched schools in the eighth grade, and in my new school, in the eighth grade, we read Romeo and Juliet, and I had read it in my old school in seventh grade. Not me, actually. On the first day of school, I remember kids thinking I was really smart, and I wasn't. But they were like, What are the names of the two families? I was like, Montague and Capulet? I don't know what the fucking question was, but you know what I mean? Oh, my God. They were like, Oh, look at this merit scholar nerd.

You set the bar too high.

Yeah, and then the Ds and the Cs.

Then they probably put you in the accelerated English class, and all of a sudden, you're at the bottom.

Then I was a part of this scam that I just couldn't undo, this web of lies. Yeah. Damn. It was reflected in my report card that year.

You played yourself.

Yeah.

Well, our fifth and final story, Keisha is entering her independent with the launch of her own record label called Keisha Records, and she's got a new album set for 2025. Keisha has announced that she's entered a new independent era with the launch of Keisha Records, which will be distributed globally in partnership with ADA. The singer who has long been since signed to RCA and Kimo Sabe Records is slated to release a new album in 2025 as part of the deal, which denotes her first distribution deal and the first time she's had ownership and creative control over her music. Ada will work hand in hand with crushed music to oversee all marketing and promotion her her new album.

That's great. I think that her relationship with Dr. Luke was really pushed on her by that label. She really was this woman with no power. And labels are so toxic. I have often thought that Taylor's next move would be starting her own label because she is this machine. Everything she does, she had to make a documentary. She didn't want to hire a production company. She made her own. And I'm surprised that she hasn't done her own record label yet. And I feel like Keisha would literally be one of the first artists that she signed because Taylor has been so supportive of her. Then all the artists that she brings up with her, like Sabrina. I feel like she should do it.

I agree. I feel like it also sounds nightmarish because then you become the big record executive that you hate. At the end of the day, you are working really hard for these artists. You're giving them a lot, so you take from them, and then you become that person.

But Taylor's always talking about how record companies and the streaming services are so What's the word I'm looking for? Acquies? Please help. No, like the- Arcaic? When you take advantage of the artist. No.

Exploitative?

Yeah, that's good. That's not exactly what I was looking for. But yeah, they're so exploitative, especially off of smaller artists, and they make you sign these things, and they don't really pay you for your art. Taylor's always making moves to benefit not only her standing, but all artists. When she signed with the Universal Music Group, she was like, I will sign with you, but the rules that you're making for me have to be the rules for all of your artists. We want X, Y, and Z. She's always been an advocate for artists. I think the reputation era opened up with a quote from this woman who was a famous advocate for artists rights and whatever. I have always thought that that would be her next move.

Yeah, I think it's a lot of work.

Unless you're exploitative, it's not a lot of It's like, unless it's a nonprofit. But I love this for Keisha. I also love that she's not... It says she's an independent artist, but she's doing it in collaboration with a bunch of companies, which I think is good because as much as being an independent artist is a It's a commendable thing, it more often than not means no one's going to hear your music.

Right. It's like both options are sad, right? Being on a big label but not owning your music.

And not getting paid your full worth.

But also doing it on your own without that big label, maybe people aren't going to hear it. It's not going to go where it would have gone if you had the whole machine behind you. I think this is a good fusion. I think Keisha is... Keisha is a hitmaker. I think she's just got to do Keisha It will bear fruit.

Well, that's what was so interesting and Earth-shattering about Chance the Rapper. He's probably the only person to ever make the mainstream completely as an independent artist.

Same with Frank Ocean.

Is he independent?

I thought so. I thought that's his whole thing.

No, that's Chance the Rapper's whole thing.

No, I think it's Frank Ocean's whole thing. Whole thing, I think.

Is Frank Ocean an independent artist? Yeah, you're right. Here are five famous independent artists who made it big all on their own. Thank you. Thank you. Five, Frank Ocean. Four, Maya. She's an RnB soul singer. Chance the Rapper is number three. Okay, number two is voice Avenue. Who is that? They sing one of Ben's emo songs. Totally.

I think I know them.

Why are they number two? Who's number one? I won't even say his name. Poopoo. I hate this He's the worst person with every fiber of my being. I'll give you a clue. He wore a fake nose and pretended to be a Jew.

He's actually the worst person. Did you see what he did last week?

He is actually the worst human being on the planet. And literally, the fact that he's independent brings me such joy. He's not successful.

Nobody likes his music. He seems like the type who's independent, he didn't have a choice. Seriously, who would want to work with him? Not by choice.

Who would ever want to be associated with such an ugly human being? And I mean ugly on the inside. Truly, truly hateful. I fucking hate this person. I won't even say his name. A hateful fucking person. I will not even say his name.

No, I completely agree. But he was literally just in the news This Weekend.

Yeah, we were just talking about him.

We knew? In our group chat. In our group chat, yeah. We were.

Okay, moving on. That was fun.

You know who I always think is an independent artist, but isn't, but moves like one? Who? Zack Bryant.

It's giving independent.

Right? He came up out of nowhere. He had all of these fans already.

You know who is an independent artist?

Who?

Bonnie McGee.

Do you know her? Queen. Independence Day.

I am an American girl.

No. No.

Hot-blooded and I'm ready to go. I actually follow her on TikTok. She's like, Day of My Life is an independent artist, filming her on music videos, producing everything on her own coin, and talking about the big hits that she's written as American Girl was when she was with a label. Obviously, she wrote so many of Katie Perry's biggest hits back in the day. She's really a queen. I fucking love her.

Same. Are we independent artists? I feel like we're like Keisha. We started our own label, but we work in partnership with a bigger label.

We definitely have the... I think independent artists have a chip on their shoulder about the fact that they're independent. We definitely have that.

I think being an independent artist is a state of mind.

I actually would beg to differ. It's literally not.

I think we have that independent artist spirit. Spirit, thousand %. Ain't no part of no big machine.

We ain't no part of no big machine. We can't be bought. I mean, it's so not true.

We absolutely could. The problem is our price is so high.

It's so true. We have a high self-worth. That's what it is.

Priceless, baby.

I am officially losing circulation in my vagina. When you wear jeans and you cross your legs for too long, you actually have no blood flow, which I feel is bad.

Losing circulation is bad, turdy.

Especially if there's such a vital organ. A vitality. That's our show. Yeah, no cap on that.

No cap on that. I'm sad.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Tos on the Night & Morning show where we deliver the fast-time stories. You need to remember, this is Friday. It's a little housekeeping announcement. Tomorrow's episode will be audio only.

On the Prairie.

Little town. It's a house- Little house.

You said, Little house on the Prairie.

Little housekeeping announcement. Tomorrow's episode will be audio only. Yes. And just apologies, but it's what needs to be done.

Apologies, you won't see these gargy faces.

Love you.

Excuse. Love you. I'm sorry. Bye.