Transcript of Who Is The Most Hatable TV Character of All-Time? | Hour 1

You are listening to The Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states. This episode of The Dan Levitan Show is presented by DraftKings Sports.

DraftKings. The crown is yours. You sound like the Count.

Beautiful.

We had Drew Brees on the show yesterday and it sparked a conversation later on Kane's Insight. Drew Brees is a great example. You don't have to have a big arm to be an incredible deep ball thrower.

Yeah.

He didn't have a strong arm, especially after that surgery. But you think of him first off, when I think of the New Orleans Saints offense, Marcus Colson on that slant, always open. Michael Thomas on that slant, always open. Jimmy Graham on that slant and hook, always open. But he would occasionally hit beautiful deep shots that were in rhythm, beautiful balls that would— I'm going to regret saying that, that would, you know, these parabola type of passes. You know what, bring it back. I just thought it was interesting.

I wish we had more time with Drew yesterday because I wanted to ask him about the the, the Katrina return game at the Superdome, which he referenced briefly.

We probably spent too much time on gas pumps with him and the Dolphins, but I forgot that they were winless during that preseason and then Katrina.

I don't know if I knew that at all. And they played their first couple games on the road like he mentioned, and then it was like week 3, it was a Monday Night Football game against the Falcons, which by the way, for people who don't know, because you know, most of the time the teams are shit, but Big rivalry game. Falcons and Saints is low-key one of the nastiest rivalries.

Big rivalry game, and like, they travel, like, they travel back and forth between those two cities.

Nasty, nasty rivalry.

It's one of the few that feels like a college rivalry.

Just to— and to explain, like, how nasty that rivalry is, there is a statue, there is a monument outside the building in New Orleans of Steve Gleason blocking the punt. There's a statue built outside the Superdome. And, you know, they wanted to make it as realistic as possible. So you put, you know, the Saints jersey on Steve Gleason and Falcons jersey on the, on the punter for the Falcons. The Falcons would not allow their NIL on the statue.

Really?

That's how nasty that rivalry is. And mind you, Steve Gleason has ALS. All right. And he's the player.

Yeah.

Doing the incredible play, and the Atlanta Falcons are still, "Eh, don't think so." So I wanted to ask Drew Brees about that game because for me as a sports fan, and a sports fan who is not invested in one team or the other, that moment where it was the first series of the game and the Falcons, I guess, were going 3-and-out or whatever, and they're punting, and the building is go— the building's just on fire. You too, I think, performed pregame in the Superdome.

It was U2 with Green Day. It's the Saints Are Coming.

It's their first game since Katrina. They had to play the whole previous season in Baton Rouge. All right. And the building's on fire anyway. And the Saints are— and it's Drew Brees' debut game at home. Sean Payton, debut coaching effort at home. And Steve Gleason just runs in there and blocks the punt, which the Saints pick up and they run into the end zone for a touchdown. That moment for someone who is not invested in either team, but I'm watching because it's Monday Night Football, of course, is the craziest regular season atmosphere I had ever seen in my life. In that moment, like, the Saints, they were the best team in the world that night. They would— there's— they would not have lost to anyone. Bring in, bring in the '85 Bears, like, they would have beaten everyone that night at the same time. Yes. And in that moment, bonkers atmosphere.

I like this topic of coolest sports moment that doesn't involve any of your teams, because that's up there. Cool sports moment that doesn't involve your team at all. Jeter's final at-bat.

That is an amazing moment.

I'm trying to think of other cool moments that I also—

I thought that's your team.

Oh, that's right. I'm wearing a Yankee hat. That's true.

But he wasn't a Yankee guy yet.

Yeah, not yet. I wasn't a Yankee fan yet.

Brett Favre, Monday Night Football after his dad passed away. Yeah, that was a huge one.

Some weeks you don't even get the Tuesday, Chris.

Bam, 83 points.

Marc Messier's hat trick in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Are they not your team?

I'm just doing a thing.

Ooh, let me think.

Uh, Kobe Bryant's 60-point game.

Last game.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's the same thing as the Jeter thing, which is like last game. Now, last game walk-off base hit the other way when that's like the thing you were known for in your career at the very end and you're holding on at Yankee Stadium is pretty incredible.

I've talked about this one before. Peter Wark, Sugar Bowl. Y'all want me to end this shit right now? And then 80 yards.

That Saints one is a good one though, in terms of cool sports moments.

Statue of Liberty, Boise State Fiesta. Oh yeah. Zabryanski, Ian Johnson proposing in the back of the end zone.

Steph in the garden.

It's when the, the non-CFP bowl games still mattered. Yeah, that felt like something.

It was.

Now I know for me, granted it was the Super Bowl, so there's a lot of stakes. It's not a regular season game like a lot of us are giving, you know, examples of. but I guess it was the 2007 season, right? Where the Patriots are trying to go undefeated, and I had 6 or 7 of my all-Dolphin fan friends at my house, were watching the Super Bowl. And we're all rooting for the Giants, obviously, because we don't— we hate the Patriots and we don't want the undefeated season. And we're all sitting on my couch, watching on my television in the Zaslo mansion family room, And when Eli Manning breaks the tackle, the would-be sack, and he spins out of it, all 7 of us rise to our feet and inch closer to the TV. You know, if you get close to the TV, I mean, something really important's happening. We all rise off the couch, we all inch close to the television, and then when David Tyree makes the catch, we're all jumping up and down. Young, it's like, we don't give a fuck about the Giants, but we, we are invested in this game in this moment.

I mean, you were at a pretty good one then. I felt that sensation on my couch, which was Knicks-Spurs when the Knicks capped off the huge comeback.

Yeah, yeah, the OG. I mean, like, the crazy thing about that night was they were getting demolished in the first half. Remember, Wemby does the 'I'm in your head' thing to Mitchell Robinson.

The game was over.

Game was over. And then Wu-Tang comes out and does a halftime show, and their halftime show is like, 'Nobody beats the Knicks.' Like, it was a lot of like like very braggadocious, which if the game had gone like the rest of the series, it would have been perfect material.

Didn't we speak to RZA the next day?

I think we did. I don't know, I wasn't here, I was in New York.

I don't think it was—

we talked to Meth and Raekwon. Raekwon, the show.

Oh, we spoke to Raekwon the next day then.

Yeah, so like they— like they— I remember getting a water at halftime from like media dining and thinking, oh man, this, this was not— I know that— bad look, man, of the way they're getting blown out, and then they just chip away, chip away, chip away. And then there's that moment where you're like, holy shit, this is actually gonna happen as far as this becoming a close game. And then obviously the tip happens, everyone goes crazy, the Knicks end up winning the game. And afterward, I got like the biggest hug from— who was it? I'm trying to remember which one of the Wu-Tang, like, one of them gave me a hug. And I was like, no, it wasn't—

no, it wasn't Ghostface.

It might have been Ghostface.

You got Inspect the Deck.

Not Inspect the Deck. Not Ol' Dirty Bastard before someone says.

Rest in peace.

Jeremy Tashay.

No, it wasn't. Yeti.

Greg.

Greg Cody. Yeah. No, it was. It was. But it was like it was one of those people were like hugging people just like, I need a human interaction. That's where the video of Taylor Swift and Mariska Hargitay and who was the third one who was with them? They're jumping up in a circle. Yeah. Like I was literally walking by and I was like, I mean, who the hell are they? And then I walk—

And on the final play, Mariska Hargitay actually has her hands on the referee's shoulder.

Yes.

That's crazy.

Was it that girl from Heim that really ruined Zendaya's whole deal?

Yeah.

Oh, from the—

Yeah. What a perfect casting.

Oh my God.

Everybody hates that girl from Heim. You know what she is?

She's the modern-day Joffrey. Remember Joffrey?

I don't think we know what we're talking about here.

The drama. The drama. Drama.

Yeah.

You know about that drama?

I know what happened. Twist is.

All right.

So like the twist.

Starts from like a rehearsal dinner where it's the two couples, best friends, and Zendaya reveals—

it's not a rehearsal dinner, it's just them going out to dinner.

It's a, it's a— they're trying like—

they're at the food tasting.

Yeah, it's a late stage food tasting, really up against it, um, for the meal that they're gonna serve at the wedding. And they're a little tipsy and Zendaya reveals this thing, and the reaction from this lady from Haim. Haim. What's her name? The first name?

It's Alana.

Haim? Haim is a band. It's the three sisters.

Haim with a Y?

I didn't know what you're talking about.

No, it's H-A-I-M. Yeah.

Like the first syllable of Hymen?

Haim. Yeah, they're friends with Taylor Swift.

Chaim?

Chaim. Oh, Chaim! L'chaim!

Anyways, great casting. Everybody hated her.

Is King Joffrey the most, the all-time most hateable character? I liked him. No, come on.

I tuned in every week.

No, no, I tuned in every week because I'm like, this is so funny how bad this person is.

I think that the important thing to recognize, we're not saying this is someone who did a bad job. They're saying they did such a good job of portraying a bad person. Yeah, that people legitimately hated the kid.

They kept turning the temperature up to the point that I'm like, I'm rooting for this kid.

When, when everyone after Game of Thrones and you go back and you watch Batman Begins and you realize, oh, that's—

that's—

he is the little boy.

Yeah.

And there's that scene where, you know, Batman is hiding in the background and the kid is standing up. I want Batman to kill the kid.

Yeah, because it's Joffrey.

Because that's Joffrey. I hate that kid.

That's how you save Westeros. You got to go back in time to a different movie and kill him as a child.

That's right.

Killing baby Joffrey.

That's right.

Yeah, like, he's up— like, who are the most hated people? I hear a lot Skyler from Breaking Bad. I don't know.

I don't understand that.

I haven't watched Breaking Bad, so I don't know.

But my man from The Patriot?

Nah, he's not up there.

What?

He's not up there.

You ever see The Patriot?

Oh, what? No, I have. Hey, man.

When he offs Heath Ledger?

Hold on. We're talking about the crème de la crème.

It's the crème de la crème, that guy.

No, he's not. No, he's not.

Yes.

Yes.

This is Patriot Mel Gibson.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, he's now more known as a Duke meme.

Yeah.

But he was, you know, a real bad dude.

No, I know he was, but I just don't put him in the same—

You know about that comeuppance?

I don't put him on the same plane as Joffrey, as, uh, again, Skyler from— I don't know, but I— like, that to me is like a name that people always bring up in this conversation. You can't go obscure here. Yeah, there are a lot of great actors that play villains.

That's not obscure.

The Patriots.

It was the American Revolution.

Ah.

I'll tell you what, the higher power in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, that guy who tortures the animals.

Yeah, man.

I don't even remember that.

If I saw that actor in real life, I would spit in his face.

No, no. No, no.

Torturing animals? Are you kidding me?

I know, but like, that's— he's again, you're like, ah, you're off. You're worse than Mike. You're like, at least has someone like a real person. This guy's— he wasn't touching animals, he's torturing these weird aliens that kind of look like animals.

What about Wengro? Oh, I mean, Wengro and Heat is a good one.

Yeah, he ruined everything. Yeah, ruined everything.

But here's the thing, it's like, you know who has a little Wengro in him? Odysseus. Yeah, he could have Could have got out of that cave, but you just had to. You just, you just had to.

7 years with Charlize Theron.

Dan Levitar.

Analytics have/are ruining the game. We're playing AI hoops.

That's his team! His team's in the forefront of all that!

Dan's ass, don't steal my thunder!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

Jonathan Sasslow.

I get carried away!

This is the Dan Levitar Show.

See, you guys are doing this thing where it's like you're not picking someone who literally, from then on, we look at this person, we always say, "All I see is that," right? Like, we're talking about actors that have delivered such a compelling performance, I cannot separate—

Well, also, the kid who plays King Joffrey, he retired from acting.

Yeah, 'cause we could not separate him from the character he played. Like, what you guys are describing are great actors who deliver great performances, but then I see him in another movie and I'm like, "Oh yeah, let me see what he's about." Alright, so the dude from Pan's Labyrinth? I have to— I've only seen that movie once.

Yeah, that guy was disrespectful.

I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, we could do Game of Thrones again.

Who?

The guy who played Ramsay Bolton.

I don't know anybody's name in that show except for Joffrey.

That tells you how good of a job he did!

Yeah, and that's why— that's the— out of all the Game of Thrones deaths that resonated, That was the one for me.

But while Ramsay, you know, tortured Sansa, killed Rickon— I don't know.

I don't— you do know names. You made up half of those. I think it's an NWSL team.

Can't talk to you.

I'm trying to— would Aemond in House of the Dragon be on that list?

No.

Not hateable enough?

No.

One-Eyed Aemond, he's a prick.

You can't make me watch a spinoff.

Oh, it's a great show.

I'm not watching a spinoff of like the show with like the most disappointing ending ever. Hey, we just spun something off. No, thank you.

They got it back. They got the magic back.

Yeah, that's a prequel.

It's a prequel and they got the magic back. The magic is— you know why? They kicked the guys out. DB whatever and the other guy, what's his name? The two dudes, everything they touch turns—

that guy.

Yeah, it's two guys. You know, the two guys I'm talking about.

Caillou from Caillou.

Caillou. Very—

that kid.

Very— everyone hates Caillou.

I hate—

everyone hates Caillou.

Everyone.

My kids hate Caillou.

People say I look like Caillou.

Well, I'm just a kid who's 4. Each day you grow some more.

But that lady from Heim is in that class.

I love Pearl Jam. I'm Caillou.

Put on the poll, Juju. Does everyone hate Caillou?

Yep.

I'm trying to think. You guys understand what I'm talking about?

You interrupted it. All right, let's— there you go.

Sorry. I, I like this, this conversation though, because the idea of Zazz hating Joffrey so much that he saw him younger in a completely different movie.

I wanted Batman who doesn't kill to kill him.

Yeah, yeah. There's got to be other examples. Weyngro, he played by Kevin Gage.

You know that actor's name?

I looked it up, but like, I know that actor's face. Of course, he's a great character actor.

Yep.

But he's like— like, I've seen him in other roles. I'm like, I can separate him from the role. Yeah, I can't separate Joffrey from anything else other than being Joffrey.

I'll do Ross from Friends. That guy is a good one. Annoying.

That's the one.

Wrong, by the way. Like, almost always wrong.

Juice.

And I, I cannot possibly separate myself.

Jews.

Juice.

Juice.

The juice.

Oh, juice.

How about Kanan from Power?

Kanan from Power?

Yeah.

No, no, Tasha. Tasha's the one.

I'm gonna tell you the one.

Sacks the AD.

I'm gonna know. He was comedic. I'm gonna tell you who it was. Holly. Remember?

Yeah.

Uh, what's his name? White boy's girlfriend.

Yes, his name is White Boy.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's, that's what we call him. Tommy's girlfriend Holly, who was the worst when— like, it was the only time I've ever seen in modern times she died a victim of domestic violence. He choked her to death.

But you said it was her fault, dog.

Everyone on the internet was like, you do it.

Finally.

They were like, finally, finally she's out of here. And we're like, man, we're celebrating.

Well, she was trying to get Tommy to kill Ghost.

Yeah, couldn't happen. And then, you know, down the line, Lala. Same fate.

I feel like Tony looks at me with utter shock that I watch Power.

I was kind of shocked.

I was blown away when you started dropping Power lore.

It's a great show. I haven't seen all of the books.

Of course, you're a busy guy.

Yeah, I live my life, you know. That's a good show.

You got your stories too.

Yeah, of course. I gotta keep up with those. Did we come up with a— have we come up with an answer? We were talking about this yesterday, I believe. —what we call stadiums that continue to change? Like, do we go by the original name? What do we call a stadium where the naming rights continue to change? Very famously, right behind us here at the Elser Hotel, Caseya Center. Like, that stadium arena has had several different names, most famously American Airlines Arena for the first, what, 20 years? And now it's had several different names since the 20-year expiration.

So I was actually thinking about this. When you were talking about that Saints game and that first game back in New Orleans and everyone was going crazy, and I said, "Zask, real quick, where do the Saints play now? Where do they play?" I think it's called the Caesars Superdome? You know that name. To me, it's always gonna be the Superdome. The Superdome, yeah. Or if you really, if you twist my arm, I'll say Mercedes-Benz Superdome. And matter of fact, the Falcons play in Mercedes-Benz Stadium. Yeah, they stole the name, yeah, yeah. I've got some names of teams here, guys, and if I asked you, hey, where does this team play? I want to see if you guys know.

Oh, I like this game.

All right, you want to give us some music, Roy? Maybe get this, uh, you know, spice things up a little bit here.

I like this. All right, I heard it sound just like Chris. Good job.

All right, so where do the White Sox play? Comiskey. Right.

That's what I say. U.S. Cellular Field. That's, I think, the one time I went to a White Sox game. It was U.S. Cellular Field, but I still call it Comiskey.

I remember Barack Obama, who claims he's a huge White Sox fan, called it Comiskey. You can't do that. Like Frank. You can't. Frank the Tank. You can't call it Comiskey if you're— if you claim you're a huge White Sox fan.

Hold on. So he can't misspeak. He's a liar. But you. Sit here and you call it the Temple of the Doom and you're big Indiana Jones fan.

Yeah, it's a bad job out of me.

Okay. Comerica Field. The name is— Ah, damn it. Can we throw it up on the screen? What's the name of the White Sox stadium? Rate Field? Guaranteed Rate Field, which is an awful name.

Would never know that.

Unless Guaranteed Rate is one of our sponsors, in which case it's an awesome name. Next one up. The Brewers. Where do the Brewers play?

Ah, that's Miller Park. Miller Park, right? Easy.

Always gonna be Miller Park.

Sounds right, yeah.

The Brewers play in something called American Life. Really? Insurance. American Family. Some insurance company. Boring. What about the Giants?

The New York or San Francisco? San Francisco Giants. Candlestick.

AT&T. Okay. You got to be in.

I know how to play a game.

That one I know the answer.

So yeah, Pac Bell is what I think about. I always think about Barry Bonds going yard. The big Coke bottle that's like right up the people in the kayaks. Oh my God, another baseball, right? That all that which again, doesn't it sink?

Don't baseball sink? No, I think they— no, they float.

No, they float. Wow. How about bobbin' for apples? Bobbin' for apples? No, it's called Oracle, which is where the Warriors used to play. I don't like that. Oracle Park, that doesn't sound good. Oh, it's a good one. Where do the Steelers play?

The Pits— Heinz Field. Easy. Three Rivers.

Heinz. Heinz is a ketchup. Ketchup was made in Pittsburgh. Heinz. No, it's called Acrisure Stadium, which sounds like DJ Khaled's trying to say the word accurate. It's accurate. We act for sure.

Yeah, for sure.

Finally— no, we just did the Saints, my bad. That was the finally— the Steelers. And there you have it, folks, stadiums where we don't call them by their new names, we call them always by their old names. Heinz.

Oh, all right, there you go.

So I don't know if you guys saw this yesterday, you know, fantasy football is starting up. Everybody's got their— has anyone had like Fantasy football draft. No, but I'm mocking like crazy.

I'm mocking Jeremy. Yeah.

Uh, fantasy football drafts are going on all over the place. At the very least, you're setting your fantasy football draft dates. Well, watch this video here at Buffalo Bills training camp, or maybe it was at the Blue and Red game, I don't know. And the fans whose seats were not obstructed, one of them was holding up a sign asking if a player can come over and make our fantasy league draft order. He's got 12 team names on the poster, and DJ Moore goes over, takes the Sharpie, and writes a number, 1 through 12, next to all the team names, and he sets the fantasy league's draft order. How cool is that?

Is it cool, or if you're one of the guys who got 11 or 12, you're saying, "Man, fuck DJ Moore, man." No, whatever.

It's completely random. He completely screwed me over. But it's no different from any other randomized way that you would pick your team's draft order?

You know what would have been the smart move is to name your team DJ Moore's the Best. And that way, oh, that guy's number 1. I like that. Do you want the number 1 pick? DJ Moore is the second best.

I'll tell you, man, we give him 7. The fantasy football, like the fantasy football punishments have gotten a little bit out of control. Like that's, that's the very in thing. That's the chic thing where you have to have like a fun fantasy football punishment.

I'm going to go to Waffle House and I have to eat 24— like, I have to be there 24 hours and every hour I eat, you know, that stupid thing.

Oh, man, there's so many worse ones where you got to pick fights with people and shit like that.

Pick fights with people?

Yeah, man. You got to go up to, like, the biggest dude and say, like, let's make out or something. Like, I've seen, like— Oh my God. Yeah, it's like, oh, and his buddies are all laughing. He gets chased down the street or whatever. Like, this is dumb.

They kiss and it's magical and they fall in love. And then next thing you know, you're at their wedding.

You got to do the thing like, and then next thing you know, They're having arguments about all you care about is fantasy football.

That's how we met.

It wasn't fantasy football. I wouldn't even know you.

I saw this one online last week, right? Yeah. Where Buddy had to enter a, uh, a bodybuilding contest. Get all greased up on there on stage with the other bodybuilders and do a bunch of poses and shit.

He was not a bodybuilder. No, that was the joke.

Now he didn't look terrible. —It wasn't like me going up there, alright? —Ah, you'd look fine. —But still, thank you for saying that. But still, that's like, that's embarrassing, right? You get up there, the bodybuilding contest.

—I know of one where a dude had to be a mime for 3 hours or get $50. But as you know, mimes can't ask for money.

—Yeah, you gotta put the hat on. —So he's got the bucket.

—So he was out there for 3 hours performing as a mime.

—What does a mime look like having sex anyways?

Oh, oh, my mime. Great reference.

Cinephobe. Dan Levitar, the first. Jeremy Tatché, YN's. Uh-oh. This is the Dan Levitar Show.

By the way, one of my fantasy leagues had Peter Dante, the guy from all the Adam Sandler movies.

The guy who has no talent.

It's like the quarterback in Waterboy. He's the one.

I, I, I don't like Waterboy.

I don't like any Adam Sandler movie. But if you've seen any of them, you've seen Peter Dante, because literally those are the only movies he appears in.

Main character in Grandma's Boy.

Oh, yes, I like him.

I think. No, he wasn't the main character.

That's Alan Covert.

That's Alan Covert. I always get those two mixed up. Peter Dante is the one. But he's the other guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I know who you're talking about then.

He's the one— he's in all the Adam Sandler movies.

It's like their go-but-for-the-grace-of-God Rob Schneider. Like, Rob Schneider should have been like Peter Dante, only in Adam Sandler movies and nothing else.

And this guy just did a 5-minute video saying our draft order while doing like Waterboy references.

Oh my—

oh, that probably happens on Cameo all the time, right? Where you hire someone on Cameo to do—

big time of year for Cameo.

I did that last year actually for a listener of the show, now that I'm thinking about it. Uh, if you want to hire me, I'll do it.

Yep. Slash—

no, that was me saying if you want to hire me, I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it funny too. Yeah, me too. These guys just go like, oh, okay, picking first is—

I'll do it from the Marlins field if you, if you're into that kind of—

I'll do it naked.

You're getting great— that's OnlyFans, come on.

Only fans of the show can ask me to do that too.

Beautiful balls. How much would it take for you to do it? How much would it take for you to do it naked?

Well, I could be naked and not show it, like, right? Like, I could be naked and show, like, my thighs and my chest.

Okay, how about, how about it has to go from belly up? Just beautiful balls, you know, beautiful balls.

Basically my business rate on Cameo. I'll get naked for that.

Business rate? Really? I've seen your business rate.

75. Not that expensive, really. Very affordable. Yeah, it's affordable.

What he should do is put the phone like on the selfie mode and then put it on the floor and then step over it and then tell us how he just does it standing over it. Standing over it, just right on top. Or you're looking up and you're like Willem Dafoe looking up like, oh my God, it's a big giant Justin!

Beautiful balls.

Tony, why did you come in here this morning? Oh, Zazz, I'm happy.

Well, I mean, I'm happy, Zazz. Are you happy? Something happened to me for the first time in my entire life. You know when things are— every man gets to a point where he's like, you know what, I'm gonna start enjoying the little things.

Birds and the bees, gotcha.

And you go out for a walk. You know, your life is at a very crossroads moment when you start going out for walks and try to enjoy the little things in life. So I'm walking out by myself. Told my girls, hey, go for a walk. Dad's gonna go just walk for a little bit and just clear his head. Little dog walker? No, just, just, just out there, just doing me. And I'm walking by this part of the neighborhood on the other side of the street, and a nice little shaded part of the neighborhood. It's got a— this guy's got a bunch of trees, very unkempt house, right? It feels like an old house. Somebody who's probably older lives there. There was like a trash pickup, like, dump in front of it. So it's just like a lot of stuff going on. So I'm walking around Looking around, nobody walking a dog, nobody driving a bike, nobody nothing, right? Just me, just hanging out. All of a sudden I walk by and I look down and I'm like, that can't be right. Look over, $60 on the floor. Wow. $3.20 rolled up. Wow. Without dropping stride.

Is there a string attached?

Where were you? I was just in my neighborhood.

What, like, what was the name of the street?

Nice. You want the exact street?

Not where your house is, but the street where the money was. Too many details.

Too many details. I can't divulge that information.

9th Ave. Oh man, I was just on 9th Ave. I can't double check. It rolled up, right? It was rolled up. There were 3 of them, right? Yeah, that was mine. 60 bucks, right, man? I've been stressing about that. There's 20 all week long.

Was this attached to a driveway?

No. So it was the—

because you got to go up to that if it is. You got to be a good neighbor.

Well, no, you walk up the door. So, so it was, it was a corner house and it was on the bend of the corner.

Yeah, right around the bend of the corner. That's where I was.

So you go to that corner house and you knock on the door and you say, no, there was no car.

I remember I remember checking my phone, I'm like, what time is it? And then I put my phone back, and then by the time I got the car going, I was like, wait, I had $60, what happened to them? So thanks, man.

Without dropping stride, walk by, pick it up, put in my pocket, keep going.

In the age of Ring cameras though, I feel like—

no, but the house that this was in front of was beat up.

Like, no Ring camera, there's no Ring camera.

Like I said, I walk by, there is no Ring camera, there's no car in the front, the pool in the back, the fence is falling, and the pool's green in the back.

Hold on, but Chris is saying— Chris is saying if you find it in a driveway you have to knock on the door.

I don't think I agree. I think this depends on if it's like a neighbor I know, then I'm definitely gonna, you know, hey, anyone here?

Not a neighbor I know. I'm like 3 streets away from my street on a corner bend.

What are you doing walking 3 streets away from your home? Walking. You're just— just like me.

I was just going for a walk, happened to be in Tony's neighborhood, didn't realize it.

Stroll, as Stugatz would say.

Yeah, just taking a walk, just doing my thing, just, just living life, just Enjoying the little things, enjoying the shade. Just, you know, I have— so nice out in the shade.

In the shade, it's the worst week of the year to do that.

I have, I have a recurring dream where I find money. Now I am looking forward to all of the mentions that are gonna come my way on Twitter for me saying that, but I have a recurring dream where I'm like in the, in the grass, I'm finding money and it's It's not a little bit of money. It's crazy, I have the same dream. Anyone else have that dream?

I did it in real life.

No, nobody in the studio. No one else, just me and you. Weird.

Just me and Jeremy. How strange. Only ones. Buddy Budowski. But for every act that makes you happy, you also are angry about something.

Yeah, so that same day Uh, which was yesterday. Um, me and my wife put the baby to sleep, tell babe I found $60 on the floor. Imagine that, dinner tonight wherever you want, baby, on that guy, whoever that— on Amin.

Yo, you dropped the ball because what you got to say is, baby, you'll never believe it, I found $20 on the floor.

Pocket the $40. That's how you tell all gambling winnings to your wife.

We had a coach, you know, like when you, when you're the team that goes to the All-Star Game, everyone on the staff gets tickets and to everything, like the whole thing, good seats, right? And so we had an assistant coach who scalped his tickets and then like for an absurd amount of money, they came home and was like, honey, you'll never believe it. I got $10,000 for these tickets. It was like multiples of that. The rest of it was all on the tables. Good times. Hell yeah.

So go up to my wife, babe. Found $60 on the floor. Can you imagine that? All of a sudden I hear— yes! Looking around, I'm like, what in the hell was that?

It's karma at the door.

I'm like, what in the hell was that? It's on my roof.

All of a sudden, on the roof, dude, this is—

she's like, when you first did it, it sounded like a door knock. No, no, it's not a door knock, it's like stomping.

It's Santa Claus on the roof.

And I'm like, what's he doing here? It's August. And then, so the, the, the trash cans— if it were December, you would have thought December, maybe, maybe he's early.

August, Santa's like, I dropped $60 the other day.

Did you find $60 on the ground?

Did the kid lose a tooth?

No, she's, no, she's still got teeth coming in, so she's not on the losing part. All of a sudden, next to the house where I have the trash cans, I hear doof doof doof in the trash cans, and I'm like, dude, this is crazy. What is that? It's like 10 cats. Like, remember the cats I told you guys that I have in the back?

Like a herd of cats.

Like a herd of cats behind my house that live under my shed have now migrated. Now they're on top of my roof fighting each other on top top of my roof.

Cats lost the money.

Yeah. So these are just two stories that don't relate, but it happened at the same time.

It happened the same—

no, there's gonna be a twist. It's gonna be like Seinfeld. They all come together.

They all come together. So at, at night, right, that was around like 10:30, 11 o'clock, right? I'm like, I must be the cats. Like, it can't be anything else. We turn on the Ring cam, didn't see anything. Turn on the cams outside, nothing. And I'm like, yeah, it's the cats are running on the roof. I don't know why, but they're running on the roof. All of a sudden, 3:30 in the morning.

Cats make the worst noise.

Dude, I pop up and I'm like, what the was that?

That makes the worst noise.

Let me tell you something.

It's literally like somebody outside my window screaming bloody murder. It's like a witch. Yes, literally outside. So my first initial, my first thought is, where's the baby? Where's my wife? Maybe the baby's crying.

She took her to another room.

It's like cat witch. It's an evil witch outside my house screaming at 3 o'clock in in the morning.

Where's my $60?

The 60 bucks couldn't help. Told you it'd all come together.

No, I'm gonna tell you, like, cats— I think most people watch cartoons and like, oh, cats go meow, meow, meow. I'm like, that— those are regular cat noises. When they're doing that shit at night, where's the—

it's evil. Nah, man, I watch Smurfs. That Asriel is a real piece of garbage. I know how cats— that's, that's one where if you saw him in anything else, it's like, Asriel, I remember what you've done. Gargamel.

Mm-hmm. Gargamel's a weirdo, huh? He wanted to eat the Smurfs.

Rough nose. He wanted to eat—

The cats were banging behind the house. That's what happened.

Yeah, I think we could have lost a $60 story.

No, so it's the dichotomy of man. It's like you feel great earlier in the day, and then all of a sudden your night is ruined because the cats are having sex outside your house. And it's like, for the $60, I would have rather not have the cats banging outside of my house.

And then he took the cats to get spayed or neutered, and what did he use to do? The $60.

I haven't done that yet. I heard that's free.

Oh, yeah. This guy. You're the bad guy from Guardians of the Galaxy 3. I don't know who that person is.

Yes, you do. No, I don't. The higher power. Hey, too many movies. The blue guy. Too many Marvel movies.

Oh, God. We've been through this.

The blue guy. Wasn't that the Smurf? Yeah. That Gargamel wanted to eat? Why does he want to eat them, man? What about them looks like, yo, I want to steal these things.

They do kind of look delicious. Do they? Yeah.

Yeah. He wants to put them in like a stew.

I'd be like this, I don't know, I think I'd rather eat the cat than eat the Smurfs.

Put it on the poll, would you rather eat a cat or Smurf?

Would you rather— what did Gargamel— should Gargamel— put it on the poll, Juju. Should Gargamel have eaten the Smurfs or Asriel? Okay, so both of those? No, just the one I said. I said it better.

Hmm, two different polls.

How much money do you find in that dream? Because for me it's like there's like— it's a trail. It's a trail of $60? It— there's like, I'm picking up like $100 at a time. It's a lot of money.

I'm picking up $180. Are you— because it always starts with "hai." Are you rubbing your hands together as you—

No. Okay.

You probably should not do that on camera either. What's wrong with you? Beautiful balls.

Birdman! What happened to that boy?

Cats are weird, man. I like cats. I love them. My wife thinks cats are—

You guys like cats and they're having sex outside my house sounding like an evil witch stealing a baby. That's what you guys like.

You guys like that. My wife thinks cats are the devil, so we would never be allowed to have a cat. But like, I'm good with— I'm a dog person, but I'm good with cats. But they make the worst noises, man. Not if you treat them right.

What is that purring? What do you mean? What is it? Just purring? Weird-ass noise. It's like coming from like their throat. They're not making—

they're not humming.

Probably. It probably comes from their throat, yeah.

It's just like a weird-ass noise. I'm backing you up here, Zazz. Weird-ass noises.

I think that's fair. Let me look up what purring is.

Just purring.

And where does it come from?

It's like, oh, you're happy? Well, you sound weird. No, it's just like— it's like a weird vibration. Can I hear it again? Happiness. I don't— I'm not a good purr. No, it was okay.

Let me hear it again.

I'm happy right now.

You sound like a fat guy mulling over what to order. Let me get the, uh—

sounds like a light snore.

I'm pissed off that the Vikings named a starter so soon.

Who did that?

So that's a $60 story, I'll tell you that much. Dichotomy of man.

It is, man. It literally is. It is.

It literally is.

The Lord gave us and the Lord tooketh away.

Exactly right.

Not everything is as straightforward as you'd like it to, Michael.

I had at least 2 more weeks of— they were hiding their quarterback. When they won the national championship, ready to go.

But Zazz, you were telling me a story earlier that you were thinking of, of something to do this weekend and that at Revolution there were a couple of bands that are cover bands for Pearl Jam and for Foo Fighters and you were considering going. Have you made a decision at all on, on whether or not you want to go? You want to maybe poll the room?

I was, I was actually just going to ask, do you think I should go to the tribute show this weekend?

Nah, next weekend. They're not playing next week.

What, do they tour?

You should see Ordinary Boys.

Oh, that's right, you know The Smiths. No one cares about The Smiths, all right? Beautiful balls.