Transcript of What Is The Media's Responsibility In The Kyle Shanahan Situation? | Hour 1

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. You know, The Labattard Show and Miller Lite go way back. Pretty much, I want to say like 95% of our existence we've been partnered with Miller Lite. And we believe in Miller Lite, they believe in us. It's great to have a partner with a product you truly love. That's me with Miller Lite. I love Miller Lite, always have. In fact, I consider myself a bit of a Miller Time MVP. The friend who says they've got it. I'll pick the spot. I'll throw the cooler in the trunk, bring some Miller Lite, and suddenly what was supposed to be a couple of hours turns into a whole afternoon. That's me, the Miller Time MVP. And it's great for summer hangs. Cools the body down, that beautiful white can. Not much better than an ice cold Miller Lite because it's brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Clean, refreshing, and easy to drink in the Miami heat. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer.

Miller Lite.

Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

You are listening to the Dan Lebatard Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App. Now live in all 50 states. This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show is presented by DraftKings Sports App. Sports. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

So there is a curious story, and some would say a suspicious story, because usually in sports, if you're famous, an accident can't just be an accident. Uh, we will have questions. Kyle Shanahan had an accident 11 days ago, and the information has been slow in getting to us, but we now know he had 40 stitches on his face, he had broken ribs, he had a broken nose, he had a broken hand. Chris Sims, very close friends with Kyle Shanahan. I believe they have each other's initials tattooed on each other's bodies.

Sweet.

Chris Sims says that he was close to maybe losing his right eye. A Palo Alto police officer says there will be no information released regarding the cause of this collision or who was at fault. And then Dan Patrick says this, because it happened 11 days ago and we didn't learn about it until this weekend. Dan Patrick asks, why is ESPN holding the information if you're in the news gathering business, or at least you used to be? The NFL now owns 10% of ESPN, but did ESPN have the information and choose to sit on it for 11 days? Did ESPN say to the Niners, we won't release it until you tell us to release it? Hmm.

Okay.

End quote. The thing that I wanted to ask you guys regarding privacy And regarding health privacy, there are certain instances where I have seen Miami reporters agree and work with management to not release personal information on why a player is out. There's all sorts of health stuff going on with Porzingis that Steve Kerr, when he mentions a word about it, all of a sudden starts backtracking because there are— they're just stuff that you don't want out there in public, that people are in agreement it's —okay to keep private. But usually when an accident happens in public, the next thing that happens is what's happened to Tiger Woods now a couple of times. We're going through your medical records. We all of a sudden have permission to go past the normal guard gates around privacy and go where the news is. What is your take on what's responsible and fair here and 11 days of silence regarding something that's, uh, an accident so horrific that Kyle Shanahan cannot do his job right now. He's still suffering from concussion symptoms and is not able to coach or run the 49ers. Uh, what's fair here, Zez?

I, I don't, I don't have an issue with us not having this information. I'm not sure why it's such a big thing if criminal activity didn't take place. The part that I am curious about is it appears, like you said, that sometimes there are instances where the media will be working with management and they're agreeing to not let the information out. It appears that there was some media who had this information and was sitting on it, and that part I don't understand.

This is not the kind of situation that you sit on. This is newsworthy. Prominent, successful head coach of a major NFL franchise has extremely serious injuries, that should not sit 11 days without being out there. And the whole thing is very suspicious, partly because it was covered up. But it—

now, why would it be covered up? That's the part I'm confused with. Unless there's criminal activity.

Okay, I think here, I think to me this is a hint based on what I've read. It appears that Shanahan may have been distracted on his cell phone, which is against state law to drive while doing that. It also appears that the woman driving the other vehicle may have crossed the center line and caused a head-on collision. Neither party was ticketed, and the rationale was that both parties were guilty, so we're not ticketing anybody.

What is Chris Sims' responsibility here? Because Tim Kawakami is going after Florio and Chris Sims. Chris Sims, uh, because they work together. And Kawakami is tweeting, wait, did the journalistic Guardians co-host just talk in detail about his friendship with Kyle Shanahan in the crash but waited until 13 days after the crash and 3 days after the 49ers announced it? Sure that wasn't just capitulation to the 49ers? Who ordered the code red?

Chris Sims is not a journalist, and even if he were a journalist, I, I have no problem with him sitting there They're like best friends.

And as we know from this summer, sometimes journalists can have their hypocrisies when there's a relationship.

I think best friendship comes before your journalism. Like, I'm totally cool with Chris Simms there.

I mean, newsworthy is newsworthy, you know. If Shanahan's son has an illness, that's not newsworthy to me. That's a private, personal matter. It's not a private, personal matter when the head coach gets in a very serious auto accident, partly apparently of his own doing, that's newsworthy. By any definition, that's newsworthy. But why— so why do we—

why do the 49ers want to cover it up though? Why is it—

people get into car accidents. Okay, but because it's embarrassing, I think. Because if indeed it's true that Shanahan was distracted because he was on a phone call He is partly responsible for causing his own accident, and that's, that's embarrassing.

Speculating here, it does seem like there has been some sort of hiding, right? They've been hiding this story, and when you're hiding a story, it's usually because you have something to hide. And now the way that they've handled this allows, I think, for speculation, be it fair or unfair.

And also you have to look at the injuries he suffered. Okay, if Shanahan shows up at training camp with a broken arm, he can say anything he wants. Oh, I stumbled and fell in my house. When you show up with 40 stitches in your face and other injuries as well, it's obvious. It's a flashing neon sign. What the hell happened to you? And he's a prominent enough figure where he owes the fans and the NFL his explanation.

We've gotten really fast to he owes and skipped right past how horrific these injuries are. He can't do his job. Like, he's incapable of doing his job. They've got someone as an interim replacement doing his job because the headaches are so bad. Never mind broken nose, broken hand, broken ribs, 40 stitches on the face. The headaches are so bad, the concussion is so bad, that he's incapable of doing his job. Greg's right when he says that's absolutely newsworthy, and by holding it for as long as they did, you do end up in the position where everyone is now free to speculate, what were you hiding? Because the, the first place everyone goes is, were you drinking? Like, that's the first place. And all the news reports say after that, no, alcohol is not involved in anything that's happening there. So then after that, if there's nothing else after that that is embarrassing that way— because DUI is different than you were on your phone in terms of shame and embarrassment—

don't just silo it to alcohol. There's plenty of ways to drive under the influence.

Uh, fine, make it all of the influences. Choose your influence. You can choose whichever one that you want. OWI. Uh, they have, uh, they have ruled out the possibility that this is criminally negligent. The officers have already done that. It's interesting to me though that what ends up happening when we don't talk about it for 11 or 13 days is invariably everyone ends up with at You're hiding something. What are you hiding? I want to know what you're hiding.

Well, it seems pretty clear that there's some sort of favorable treatment here from the local authorities, but to what end, I don't know.

And why? And why? And why?

I can't answer that, but the way that this has gone about has been, you know, odd.

An 11-day delay is an eternity, and it screams cover-up. And I know cover-up has a bad connotation, but in this case I think it fits because that's 11 days of San Francisco 49ers brass discussing how to handle this. Oh, we can't— we can't put this out. Let's just hope it goes away. We can't announce this. Why? Because— because he's on a phone. He's just— it's just a bad situation, much worse than it was before the media— journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

You're good. I'm a little late on it because we've already done all of the reckless speculating, and so it was, uh, a little delayed. Delayed, much like this news in getting to us was delayed.

13-day delay on reckless speculation. You should play it 13 days from now.

Um, the, the thing that I wanted to talk about though in here is the sniff and the whiff of what Dan Patrick is giving you. What do you guys believe is going to change with the fact that the partnerships are now stronger than they used to be. Once the NFL Network owns 10% of ESPN, what's about to change here in terms of how it is we get information if what Dan Patrick is insinuating here is actually so? Because I assumed, and I assumed that the Bay Area reporters had some information then they sat on. I don't assume that ESPN is sitting on information here. Here. I don't make the leap that Dan Patrick made. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but I'm willing to entertain the idea of how does everything change right now when your partnership is a lot more spoken and written than it used to be? Because it used to be, wink wink, we want the Super Bowl, we want to stay in the good favor of the NFL, but it's never been the NFL owns 10% of the news gathering outfit. Once you give them 10% equity stake in the news gathering outfit and you are partnering with the NFL Network, now you're in bed with something that has no allegiance to journalism.

Zero. And in fact, in fact, would be against journalism. Like, wouldn't want ESPN doing the things that ESPN would have to do to sometimes run afoul of of the NFL. Now, Jimmy Pitaro says nothing is going to change, and it's just a hard thing to believe.

They're— I think they've already been kind of protecting the NFL for several years because this deal has been in the works for a very long time. They are full-on propaganda arm. They are financially incentivized to keep that shield clean. And I do think that in-depth reporting on the NFL that paints it potentially in a negative light won't be coming from ESPN anymore. And it doesn't— yes, they are financially incentivized to. There is a partnership there. There is equity there. But we're seeing it already with the NBA. They value these rights partnerships and their partnerships with these leagues. They're not doing anything to advance the Kawhi story. And I think that's in collaboration with the NBA. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. You know, the Le Batard Show and Miller Lite go way back, pretty much I want to say like 95% of our existence we've been partnered with Miller Lite, and we believe in Miller Lite. They believe in us. It's great to have a partner with a product you truly love. That's me with Miller Lite. I love Miller Lite. Always have. In fact, I consider myself a bit of a Miller Time MVP. The friend who says, "They've got it.

I'll pick the spot. I'll throw the cooler in the trunk. Bring some Miller Lite." And suddenly what was supposed to be a couple of hours turns into a whole afternoon. That's me, the Miller Time MVP. And it's great for summer hangs. Cools the body down, that beautiful white can. Not much better than an ice-cold Miller Lite because it's brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Clean, refreshing, and easy to drink in the Miami heat. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

You can always tell when a new business trend shows up because suddenly everyone starts talking like they invented it. Right now it's AI. Every company says they have an AI strategy. Every consultant says they have an answer. Meanwhile, most businesses are still out here trying to figure it all out. And that's why there's NetSuite Next. You probably already know about NetSuite, the AI-powered business management suite trusted by more than 43,000 customers. It securely connects your financials, inventory, commerce, HR, and CRM into a single source of truth. But NetSuite Next takes it even further. AI is built into everything you do. It surfaces custom insights throughout your day. AI agents help solve problems and handle routine work. And when you have a question, you can simply ask it like you're talking to a colleague. NetSuite is customized for a wide range of industries, so it supports the way your business works. Whether your company earns millions or even hundreds of millions, it's time for NetSuite Next, where your business meets AI. For the first time ever, you can try NetSuite Next for free. If your revenues are at least 7 figures, go to netsuite.ai/dlb. Built for every industry, ready for every boardroom.

netsuite.ai/dlb.

Dan Levitar, you are a fool. You're nobody.

You are an infant.

You have no skin in the game. I literally put together Mike Ryan's stage for your toenail.

Nobody cares. I am. Your career right now, pal. Look at me.

No, I am your career.

No, great Cody, you have messed with McDavid and now you're messing with me and I'm more dangerous, pal.

This is the Dan Levitan Show.

All right, hold on just a second. That's strong. Full-on propaganda arm.

That's where we are. They— there's equity involved here.

Yeah, I'm in agreement.

The NFL Network was a propaganda arm for the NFL, and now ESPN owns that.

I'm in agreement on the 10% ownership. That's a fact. I'm not in agreement on full-on propaganda arm because That makes it so that you're now expecting to actively have news covered up by ESPN in order to— when you say propaganda, you believe that ESPN is now going to be actively covering up news on behalf of the NFL?

I think ESPN's not incentivized to do the work there. No. And this is not new for ESPN. ESPN has a huge partnership that they overspent on with the WWE. There was one dude that was critical of the WWE on their website. Guess who's no longer working for ESPN? That's how these things happen.

Okay, but that's where you guys are. Is everyone in agreement with this?

Is everyone who's listening— I'm surprised you're not. You love a good leap.

Well, I love a good leap, but a full-on propaganda arm is not something that I am ready to concede yet because they still do have a Pulitzer Prize winner investigating things that they are paying ostensibly to to investigate things. Now, he may not be investigating things, and they may just be paying him to not investigate, but they still are paying people to do investigative work.

Well, perception is reality, and the problem here is that there is the perception of collusion. There's the hint that there may be collusion here between two business partners, a league and a media, quote-unquote, entity, although less and less so. And so it's not out of out of consideration that at some point maybe ESPN says to its 49ers writer, we're not going to report this yet. I don't care if you know it, the 49ers haven't reported it and we're not going to report it. I'm not saying that happened, but the business partnership opens the possibility and the suspicion that that could have happened.

Well, ESPN's conflicted at every corner in almost every sport that they have rights for because they own the CFP. And then they inflate one conference that they have the biggest financial stake in, in the SEC. Top down. They are— there are conflicts everywhere. There is— this is not a new thing with ESPN.

There are conflicts everywhere. They've always managed the conflicts and done the journalism. Like, yeah, it's not new to have the conflicts. It's new to succumb to them at every turn and become a full-on propaganda arm, which is not what they've been.

You say they've done the journalism. When, when, what was the last big story that they pushed? What was the last big story that ESPN broke and it was a full-on investigation? Now I'm not saying that it doesn't exist. What I'm saying, none of us can name it.

Uh, I don't know if Belichick not being allowed into the Hall of Fame was the last one, uh, that, that, and chasing Bill Polian around with pitchforks both unfairly and inaccurately because the old man couldn't remember whether or not he voted.

They have Sham Shirania who once reported that Donald Trump had COVID before anyone else. He is the premier insider in all of sports. Good scoop. He has not said pretty much anything on the Steve Ballmer front. You don't think with one phone call Shams can get great information?

I don't actually, and I'll tell you why. I don't actually, and this is the explanation for you, and I touched on it briefly yesterday, and I want to suss it out a little bit here today, okay? Because I've now talked to enough people, been sort of confused by why it's taking so long, and the reason it's taking so long is because the owners are afraid of Steve Ballmer's money, and they're afraid that the entire construct of what it is that they've built, the salary cap illusion of we're all in partnership on equity, is going to fall apart if you punish him so much, punish him so much, that he then takes to court, hey, you don't have the right as the commissioner of the league to do all of this stuff to me just because you say. And I am alarmed that people with this kind of money are this kind of afraid of Steve Ballmer's money, because these are not unwealthy people. And the idea that Ballmer has so much money that this is taking that long makes me think that the subject matter is so complicated that Shams doesn't have actually access to the kind of information here that you would want him to have about this.

I don't know how Shams does his job. I've told you guys before. I did not think that a human being would be able to do the job that Woj did. I thought there was one person on earth who could do that job that way. I was confused while it was happening at ESPN. How the hell is this guy getting all of the stories always? Like, what sense does that make that on every beat writing corner you've got some outlet who's got a reporter dedicated full-time to reporting the news in his market and Shams comes in and takes all the news? How is it possible? How is it possible that Woj did it that way? And it's at least in part— this is not the all of it— it's at least in part because of this change that's happened throughout the information business where all of the agents and all of the agencies are propping up one person as the information person. And so all of the information that is trafficked in the channels of power at the highest form that people, uh, want out and sometimes don't want out, he's got access to all of the relationships.

But I believe that everyone listening listening to this would be fascinated if I explained to you, uh, and I can't, the details of how Shams does that job. And I also believe that it'll be the way that you go to a magic show and then they explain the trick and you're like, oh, that's how they do it? That stinks. That stinks that it's that easy to fool me. Because it doesn't, it doesn't make sense to me that it at all, at all, that one person— Greg, you give me all the people, it's like Schefter and him— that one— but Schefter at least has some competitors, whether it's Jay Kaiser or Ian Rapoport or whoever, Pelissero, like, they're— Rossini— like, there are competitors everywhere in football. How are there no competitors in basketball?

So I've looked up some of the biggest investigative pieces that ESPN's had over the last several years. I guess we can credit Tisha Thompson, who has done a good job, uh, for them. The Shohei Ohtani, um, scandal. Um, although the MLB rights deal has been diluted for ESPN, there's a lot more people eating at that trough. But there's not a lot here, dude. DVN, who's an incredible investigative reporter, was doing stuff on Lloyd Howell and the NFLPA. But Pablo was on that. Like, there were people leading the charge there.

So is it like, if we don't have your rights deal, we're going to do journalism against you?

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Even the Sorsby stuff was a little muted. They're not going to be industry leaders in investigative reporting anymore. That is a bygone era. And I think it has in large part to do with the rights fees are the straw that stirs the drink for that.

Okay, but let me, let me just ask all of you this question, because again, Mike is saying this more strongly than I've heard anybody say it. When you're saying that it's a full-on propaganda arm, if what you're saying is true, that all of a sudden ESPN is no longer gonna do journalism to or against or around the NFL, why is their president still telling us that he is?

They're gonna do some. There's gonna be heartwarming stories and pieces and the occasional dot-com story, but they're not gonna be leading the way. And I don't know why he said— like, I think he's telling us that they are because that's something that a good president would say. Yeah, like, why open the door to that? But I think Dan Patrick is on the money. With the NFL, they are absolutely going to be burying stories that stain the shield. Are you okay with that? I have no choice. That's, that's the way that the world is going. The thing—

how am I going to stop it? The thing is, there's two levels of what's really newsworthy. There's the newsworthy you can't avoid, like a head coach being fired. And there's the newsworthy that apparently you can avoid for 12 or 13 days. And that's the head coach being severely injured in the offseason. You know, if Shanahan is fired next month That's a big story with ESPN. There's no denying it. But, you know, this is a grayer area with what's happened to Shane.

Let me, let me put in front of you guys just the, the idea of what Mike Ryan just said, which is awfully defeatist. That's the way the world's going. How am I going to stop it? Nothing gets stopped that way. Like, if there are no— nobody complains about anything that way. Nobody. There's no reason for outrage. There's no reason to question anything. Like, if all you're going to do is be like, 'Well, my lifetime standard doesn't matter anymore. It's irrelevant. That's the way the world's going. What can I do?' Well, you can complain about it. That seems to be sport.

I wasn't the one that got aggregated because Disney didn't interview Chris Johnson to their liking. This has been going around, guys. I saw Marshawn Nealon score a touchdown for the Dallas Cowboys, and several days later he killed himself. Where was the wall-to-wall coverage on that? Yeah, it was on there. It was reporting, maybe in the news cycle for a couple days, we move on. It wasn't covered the way that Javon Belcher was. There has been a sea change.

I think that's why there's not only an opening for, but a need for, what Pablo Torre and others like him are doing, and there aren't many others like him doing it, is because the major outlets, the worldwide leader, they're acquiescing. They're saying, "Nope, not interested in investigative reporting and hard news anymore. We just want to keep our partnerships." And, and that's the trend in major news. You know, the Washington Post isn't what it used to be in terms of that kind of reporting.

I think that everyone is okay with it, and I think what's interesting about how morality gets trampled here is exactly this, where it's so fatiguing and it's so tiring to fight losing fights on behalf of the correct thing that you just end up acquiescing and being like, look, I enjoy my football on Sundays, leave me alone. You don't need to apply any kinds of standards to any of I don't want to hear about what these guys have to deal with in terms of pain after they're done playing. I don't want to hear about the CTE. I don't want to hear about concussions. Just give me my uniforms and my betting money on Sundays. It's all I want.

I can't remember a single thing that they said on the Vrabel-Ruzzini thing. I can't. I think it was like Pat McAfee going, whoa. And AJ Hawk was like, I get it. Now, to be fair, that put a lot of people in a difficult position, but, you know, we didn't talk about it well, but we talked about it. This is changing and we're helpless. They're literally firing everybody. There's like 2 people still. And I think the real reason that they're on— and I'm not knocking Tisha Thompson and DVM, they're doing an incredible job— but I think their biggest value to the company is that the president can point to them and say, no, we still have these people Well, we still value journalists. Look, we employ two really good ones. But why though?

Why? Why? What optics? Appearances. But what are the appearances if no one cares?

Like, what? What are the— No one cares.

No one cares. What appearances are you protecting? Who are you doing the optics for if no one out there cares whether you're doing investigative work? And furthermore, as you've heard me say before, ESPN didn't have any reason to get into the journalism business except to get get the credibility of newspapers. Once they have the credibility of newspapers, they can discard any need for doing this. They taught us that journalism could be done by sports television networks. They chose to do that. It's— they raised us on that, but there's no obligation for them to do it if they're in business partnership with the leagues. And the way to do— the only way to do journalism correctly is to separate editorial from sales, which can no longer be done anywhere in American commerce?

I think ESPN is hesitant to surrender the illusion that they're still a news organization fighting hard to report news and be the first to do it. They still want to be referred to and thought of as the worldwide leader when it comes to that. And as Mike said, it doesn't cost the president of the company anything to say, yeah, we're still—

but can you be the worldwide leader as a full-on propaganda arm? Don't those— you talk about conflict.

Aren't those things conflicted? It's been happening for years and years and years. So, yes, yes, you can. You don't do it all in one fell swoop. You do it by degrees. You get rid of most. Yeah, you don't do it all at once because that's how you get a lot of people throwing their arms up in the air and saying, well, you're, you're totally out on investigative journalism. It's very clearly not a priority for the priority for ESPN as a Disney-owned company is rights fees and make money and getting that Super Bowl on ABC.

Down levitar. Yeah. Very much.

If someone told you you couldn't have a Corvette.

I'm a grown-ass man who's not, who's not I'm not filthy rich. I can't afford a Lamborghini. Great, Cody! Well, I probably can, but that's— Hey!

Oh, what the heck?

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

One of the things that has always been interesting to me about watching ESPN is how strange I find it that what they're best at is the games themselves and very little content outside of the games themselves. Their best programs over time, uh, are usually stuff that's outsourced, and they have to go elsewhere to get the young people, the young audience, whether it's McAfee, whether it's PTI being done outside of the doors, whether it's Around the Horn, uh, a lot of— whether it's bringing Rich Eisen back. A lot of times what it is that they're doing is, as a production company that makes content. They have to go outside in order to make that content, which is strange when you're the worldwide leader, uh, in sports. But Tricia Thompson is doing some of that journalism— uh, Tisha, excuse me— and she's going to be on with us on Thursday because, uh, finally someone has done something around that Shohei Ohtani story, uh, that talks to the interpreter and gets us a little bit more information on what's happening there. So she'll be on later this week, but I've waited too long to update Greg Cody's catchphrases.

Oh, that's a shame. We were just going to get to Zazz's thoughts on the matter.

Embargo. Another embargo? You can catch the unembargoed, uh, Zazz as well.

He's just waiting his turn.

On Zazzlo Show 2.0, uh, which I saw yesterday was filmed with Tony participating, uh, in the studios here. How did that go?

That's right. It was great. I had the show logo show right behind me on that big LED screen. I got a great show logo, Greg. I had the show logo behind me, I had Tony to my left here. I was sitting in the main chair, I was sitting in your throne, and we had Tony making his debut on Zaslo Show. Talk about getting sleepy on the drive home, Dan.

Do you get sleepy on the drive home?

You ever fall asleep on a drive, on a drop, like a long drive?

Yeah, like a short drive every day.

Does that happen to you guys every day? Almost every day. We have like the similar length drives every day. I, I'm what— I don't know what I do. I like start singing sometimes, put the music on.

You know, I got to try something like that.

That's a good— yeah, I'll slap myself sometimes.

Really? Just go like a little, come on, come on, snap out of it. You do it both hands? What are you using, steering wheel?

Well, you know, just a quick little—

yeah, I— it's a problem for me. It was like when I get close to home. Yeah, I get the itis. You know about that itis, Greg? I do. We have the lunch.

You ever do the thing where all of a sudden you're— oh shit.

No, it doesn't happen to me on the highway, thank God. It's really when I'm stop-and-go, when I get off the highway, when I'm getting close to home, I get really sleepy.

You suffer from drowsophobia. Drowsophobia?

Yeah, that's exactly what you suffer from. I don't think that's a thing. No, it is a thing. That can't be a thing.

And likewise, if you have difficulty making decisions, choosing what restaurant to go to tonight, you have decidophobia.

Look these up, Chris. I think your father is making both of these things up. I don't believe this.

Here's $100 if there's no such thing as decidophobia. I'll give you the money right now.

Well, wait a minute. I thought we were doing drowsophobia first.

Well, drowsophobia, I'm not positive is a thing, but decido-phobia, no question about.

Not really behind the wheel, but one thing that I noticed after I turned 40, I sit on that couch and the TV's on, it's hard. Like, yeah, yeah, it's just like, oh man, yeah, this is what happens to all the old-timers where the TV's on, they fall asleep. Yep. I was like, how can you not stay awake?

And now, you know, we're in stage 2 at Darlington, and I'm like, uh, I used to get mad at my dad when we would watch stuff on the couch and he would fall asleep. And I'm like, now, shit, it's hard to stay awake.

The best sport for drowsing off is, bar none, is professional bowling.

No, it's golf. No, no, no.

The golf nap. The soft clatter of pins.

The golf nap and the Stage 2 NASCAR nap, undefeated.

Greg, it's not a soft clatter of pins. The pins are being disintegrated.

Not if the volume's down a little bit. It's a soft clatter.

He is right about that.

The volume's down, Dan?

No, he's not right about—

he is not! Thank you, Tony.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Easier sport to nap to on television: loud-ass bowling or whispered golf?

Oh wow, way to phrase the question in a way that's loud-ass, Your Honor.

Objection, leading on the question. Tony and I had the same experience though, where we had both been woken up before— awakened— by the car drifting onto those little bumps on the side. The divots, yeah.

There's no fear like that fear.

Then you're wide awake the rest of the road. I had— I was driving back from New Orleans with Kip Kudik, and I made the mistake of falling asleep in the passenger seat. And I heard that— the first thing I heard to wake me up was the sound of hitting those things. But the next thing that got me is we were spinning. We were— the car was just— the car was just going in circles in the median. Yes, it was just— it was terrible.

So wait a second, you felt the divot, divots then you went back to sleep?

I'm sorry— uh no no no no no no no no next thing you know you're waking up again and you're doing donkey kong right there! I felt the divots and I woke up and we were still going straight and then I was going in circles! Was he awake?! Uh no no no he fell asleep at the wheel! No but once you were doing the circle maybe it's deep snores just ughhh had that REM sleep! You believe that he was sleeping and snoring while we were doing circles at 80 miles an hour?!

Some people are deep sleepers.

I'll just start talking to myself.

If I say words, that'll wake me up. I don't feel that feeling anymore. I'm in the car by myself like, all right, let's just, uh, you know, we got a— I got a meeting when I get home. All right, just saying words.

You got to put a song on that, you know, all the words. When I wake up, yeah, I know I'm going to be—

I'm going to be the man. Yes, it's a real problem.

And then you're like, when I get home, I'm taking a half-hour nap.

You guys believe that I have skewed the poll because I made it loud, loud-ass bowling and whisper you believe the voting's gonna be different on napping?

Yes, yes, yes. We actually have a social experiment today. When you game the polls to say, is it better to go 6-0 or 6-6 in the NBA Finals? I was like, let's reword that. Is it better to go to the Finals 12 times or 6 times?

Are you ready to do your catchphrases?

I am.

I have a poll question and a question for the group before we get to the catchphrases, which is, can it be a catchphrase if it's something you only say to the dog? Because, "Bae." is on a catchphrase list here, and it's never said to humans. It's just— it's something that is said to his dog that is disorienting and confuses Jumping Charlie, right? And is meant to be disciplined, but it's just a sound where he's confused that his owner is a crazy old man and he doesn't understand the sound that's being made. So can a catchphrase be something that's only said to the dog? Uh, we had, uh, today Louis came in, and Lewis has been on vacation for a little bit, and Lewis was told, uh, that the catchphrase, uh, countdown is not yet in the top 10. And he's like, you guys are shitting me. When I, when I left, when I left, we were, we were approaching the top 10. And we're like, yeah, yeah, it's further back now than it was when you left. We are less close to the top 10 than we were when you left because it's been expanded to a list of 70 phrases instead of 50 phrases.

Yeah, it makes Is it gonna go to 75?

No, right now it's staying at 70. Yeah, we do. It's staying at 70. We think. You know, I mean, I'm obviously, I'm not in charge. There's a committee overseeing.

Who are you saying we do to? Did Chris say we think and you were supposed to say we think and you instead said we do think?

We do think.

You didn't say the think though. You just said to your son, we do. We do. We think.

We're thinking. We all do. Exactly. Number 70. Number 70, I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. 69, where's my click click? 68, hey Butterfinger, up! 67, punt. 66, Scranton. 65, I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 64, Georgia, Georgia! 63, I'm the kind of guy that's— 62, ballin' the jacks. 61, hey hey, we're the Monkees, baby! 60, thank you Billy. 59, I love 'em like a pet. 58, who made it a salad? 57, we're rollin' now. 50, what? 56, your brain beatin' me. 55, let's go States. 54, driver comfort is paramount. 53, dummy up, say bop. 52, catch as catch can. 51, doesn't make it right. 50, so on and so forth. 49, very good. 48, the Little League theory. 47, nice hat, asshole. 46, the others, they all learn from me. 45, don't go showering to try to please me. 44. Look at that jerk. 43. It's like a packing house in here. 42. Would you learn? 41. Hee-haw. 3. But they up. 40. I'm not going to take a quiz. 39. Sassafras. 38. Will we break a window? 37. Hello. 36. Who won? 35. Trailers for sale or rent. 34. You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die.

33. 3 words: we are The Lobos. 32, you're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. 31, Rappycack. 30, another crisis solved. 29, nice chatting with you. 28, he ain't heavy, he's my blank. 27, hey, that's what I'm talking about. 26, hula pet. 25, good on ya. 24, dancing swords. 23, QK, quick crap. 22, hey. 21, blank in it. 20, that's a Jack, 19, gotta wanna learn, gotta wanna earn. 18, put a Lobo's Mint under your pillow and dream big. 17, quite a bit. 16, take the rest of the day off. 15, do what now? Hold on, where are we?

We are now at the last 3 updates?

Take a break. Those are all old ones, right? Yeah, those were through 15. The new ones that I'm about to announce are numbers 14 and 13. And then next week will be 12 and 11, and then we have arrived at heaven's gate, the top 10. Did I make you cough?

Is it like a yawn?

Yeah. Do I know? Yeah. It's just a cough. Okay. Do I know? You want the last 2? I do. The next 2? I do. Okay. Give us the last 2. Number 14, right on. I'm trying to bring back right on. It's not working, but I say it at every opportunity. If someone compliments me and says, I love that black shirt, I'll be like, right on. Because I'm not going to say, oh, thank you so much. Yeah, I bought it at Walmart. Right on. I'm just going to say right on because it's an all-purpose affirmation. People, hippies I'm a— believe it or not, I'm not quite old enough to have been a real hippie in the mid-'60s. I was 11 in the mid-'60s, so I was too young to be a hippie. But from the mid-'60s through the early '70s, people said "right on" and "groovy" left, right, and center. Those were the words at near the top of the lexicon. If you were young in the '60s and '70s, you said "right on" as much as you could. You said, "Great, that's groovy, man." Man, that's groovy. And so I'm trying to bring back right on number 14.

But you're failing. I'm trying, man. I'm doing my best. That's why I'm doing it. Everybody starts saying right on, you know, somebody compliments you, it's an affirmation. Uh, isn't that a beautiful sunset?

Right on. Uh, put it on the poll, please. Did the phrase right on go extinct in 1973? Yes or no? That's about right.

That's about right. Yeah, uh, but let's all bring it back. Right on. Exactly. Right on. Right on. And you can say it a bunch of different ways. Right on. Number 13. Number 13: Who Shot John?

This is a classic. This is a family classic.

I've never heard it.

I've never—

and we've looked it up, it's not problematic. I know it sounds—

I've never heard it. Why do Why did he say that? Why does he say that?

Okay, my wife can testify that that's one of my favorite phrases.

But why?

If you can't decide where you want to go to dinner, you're playing Who Shot John. So if it's like, where do you want to go to eat, Dad?

Let's play it. I thought that's decisionophobia.

Greg, where do you decide—

where do you want to go to eat?

Uh, don't play Who Shot John.

We're playing it for the people.

We're trying to show the people how you play it. Okay, let's go to McDonald's. I don't know, let's go somewhere else. Uh, let's go to Burger King. Nah, let's go to Subway. Subway. Okay, and we're playing—

that's playing Who Shot John.

And then we're on our way to— no, here's the best part. Then we're on our way to Subway, and my wife goes, or we could go to Olive Garden. That's who shot John.

Once you make a decision, you explain it that way through. Okay, Olive Garden, Italian Denny's. So this is not an offshoot of Who Shot J.R.?

Whoa, no. Right on.

I don't understand what just happened. That does not deserve to be that high. That's offensive to me. Who shot John? That's offensive to me. I've never heard you use that phrase before.

I use it, and parenthetically, "Who shot John?" does not mean that John was murdered. Okay? John might have been grazed. Okay? Who shot him? Is that a mortal wound? No, it's not. People assume it's a mortal wound. It's not. Okay? You winged him. You winged him. Tis but a flesh wound. Right, exactly.

Tony, do you understand? Yes or no question. Do you understand what just happened here? Yeah.