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Are you about to cough, Greg?
No.
Are you about to cough, Greg?
No.
Are you about to cough, Greg?
No, but— I'm gonna choke on bread! I'm gonna choke on bread!
Are you about to cough, Greg?
No.
Are you about to cough, Greg?
No. Bread, bread, bread.
It's maddening.
No, I'm fine now. Thank you for your concern.
During the break, Chris Cody told me that Tyler Herro is no longer in his top 25 Miami Heat scorers of all time.
Wow.
Uh, we will get to his list in a second. Daniel Roberts on Twitter is mentioning of the Fanatics deal involving LeBron. LeBron's use of a Fanatics-branded helicopter is part of his broad deal with the company, which extends to after his playing career is over and includes his use of Fanatics Aviation. And Doug Gottlieb is writing, 3 years from now, Pablo Torre is going to dissect this like a surgeon.
So he's going to have a helicopter forever, or for the rest of his life, I should say.
He's just going to have it after his playing career. But you cannot really say that LeBron's career is ever going to end because it is already a career that doesn't have any precedent in the history of American sports, even as athletes play Longer than they ever have. I really don't understand how he is able to do that. It's one thing to be doing what Tom Brady was doing at 45, where it doesn't require a great deal of mobility, it doesn't require, uh, much other than get rid of the ball in 2 seconds in terms of how often you're gonna get hit. What LeBron is doing against the youngest, fastest, strongest, and best athletes in America at that age. Look at how Aaron Rodgers looks at that age. You guys have noticed, right? You guys have seen the way the athleticism has dissipated just when he rolls out of the pocket. Aaron Rodgers at a similar age. The, the, the things that LeBron is doing at that age are just crazy.
It's Brady and LeBron. That's the list of players who've been able to do this.
Correct. Well, let me see. I mean, Diana Taurasi. There are some people in their— there are some people who've been able to do— Ovechkin in their 40s. But the athleticism required to play basketball specifically, I just don't even know how anyone who's not just a post player who's bigger than everyone plays among people who are that fiercely athletic and in their 20s when he's a generation older than them. Like, it's— I keep telling you guys about how we live in an age of mastery, but because the critics' volume has gotten so loud, it's not just that sports What sports television has morphed into— sports television is very cheap. The producing of content in sports television is just throw some producers on there, throw some microphones up there. It's not what your favorite television show costs to make. It's much easier to make the daily content of just give people a couple of microphones and have them complain about things. So you've got a volume and an acid that feels like sports radio in the coverage, but also The proliferation of the second half of LeBron's career that gives everyone on the internet a right to have an opinion that doesn't have to be based in facts and doesn't have to be in any way earned.
All you have to do is just turn on a microphone and you can complain. Makes it so that LeBron James's career gets underestimated because you have so many people at the trough of, I need my opinion heard. I, I need to be someone who has an Instagram following and I've got opinions about sports. So the volume around these guys is louder, it's crueler, and it's more unreasonable.
That's fine though. I mean, it's— that's the age we live in, and LeBron's got thick skin and he can take it. He can take any criticism, including me criticizing him flying in on a helicopter from a different city. That's fine. I admire LeBron. He's a one-man franchise, and I'd put him in the same category as Lionel Messi, who's 39 and still playing extraordinary well. They're one-man franchises. They don't care about anything around them, nor should they, because they've earned that right. They don't care about— Lionel Messi hasn't done an interview in Miami in 3 years. That's fine. He's allowed to. LeBron flies in on a helicopter. That's fine. He's allowed to. But there are consequences. Lionel is going to get criticized for not doing local interviews. LeBron's going to get criticized maybe by some—
Those aren't real consequences. Somebody complaining isn't a real consequence. I want to just ask you something though. I just said something is louder, crueler, and more unreasonable, and your response was, that's fine.
No, because—
If it were you, if it were you, yeah, he could take it.
Yes, he can take it. Louder, crueler, and more unreasonable. If I made that the criticism of you, would you think it was fine? Would your Would your whole reaction be, well, that's fine?
I mean, louder I accept. Crueler and, and whatever that other thing is.
More unreasonable.
Okay, crueler and unreasonable, I'm not sure what you mean by that. Louder for sure.
Greg, you don't believe that the criticism of athletes is louder, crueler, and more unreasonable than it's ever been because of the changes in sports media over the last 20 years that has allowed sports radio to win as the standard setter for how it is people talk about these athletes, and everyone who's mad has a microphone now. Every single person who's mad has a microphone. You think when I say unreasonable and cruel, why are you shrugging your shoulders and just saying that's fine?
Because I think it's part of the game. I think the athlete— I think the modern athlete accepts that as part of being a modern athlete is that you have all this noise coming in from every direction. Some of it's going to be unfair, some of it's going to be ridiculous.
But it's worse than it's been though, the last 15 years. Is anyone disputing this?
Does anyone— No, I agree it's worse than it's been, but I don't think it's unreasonable that there's going to be that much maniacal attention on these athletes who are making more money than ever and bigger stars than ever.
I don't think cruelty is fine. I just don't accept cruelty and am like, well, I'm entitled to be cruel. I'm a fan, I'm entitled. I'm a critic, I'm entitled. Therefore, I'm entitled to be dehumanizing and cruel. Look, you don't have to appreciate this the way that I appreciate it, but somewhere in where it is that people love sports and celebrate sports, something gets lost here when there's a cruelty as an undercurrent that doesn't allow you to enjoy The Babe Ruth of our time when he's doing something we've never seen before. It just doesn't— all other athletes in their early 40s are looking at what LeBron is doing in that sport and are like, how is that possible? It's not him in the post as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, just being taller than everybody else at 40 and scoring 10 points a game on skyhooks and not being able to move up and down the court. LeBron statistically Top 25 player last year when he could play?
Yeah.
It's asinine. Like, it just— it's so not normal. It doesn't have a precedent of any kind, and it's underappreciated.
He was the best fast-break player in the sport last year.
A little bit of cherry-picking going on, let's be honest.
I don't think it's underappreciated at all. I think LeBron James gets more adulation than any athlete on the planet right now.
You're muttering because of that eyepatch today.
Hey, cherry-pick that thing.
It's at an all-time Hi.
Right now it's not even doing that. I don't think there's any difference.
Can you translate what you were saying here? And can I just take— without context, I really can't tell what Zaz is saying here. Can any of you? Let's see if we can.
You guys don't know what I'm saying?
You sound like Brad Pitt in Snatch.
Right now it's not even doing that.
That's cherry-picked.
What was that?
Right now it's not even doing that.
You don't even know what you're saying.
What are you saying there?
Right now it's not even doing that. Right now it's not even doing that.
Oh wow, he is. That is, that is the correct translation.
What are you saying?
Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Right now it's time to do that. Everybody understands. Wasting everybody's time.
Can you look up for me, please, Tony, the language that Brad Pitt was speaking in the movie Snatch? Because I realized I made a reference with that movie that many of you did not Oh, great movie.
Dan, I was inspired back here. You guys are talking about old athletes. I have a new game I want to play. Hit it, Roy! Alrighty, this game, I just created it. It is called the oldest player in sports history to do blank.
Oh, I'm good at this.
All right, question number 1. The oldest— they're gonna start a little easy. Don't get, don't get excited. Oldest player in NBA history to score 40 points.
Elgin Baylor.
That means wrong.
LeBron.
Uh, Zaz, you alleged you were good at this game.
Yeah, but I thought this one was easy.
He apparently tried to start easy.
Michael Jordan.
Right! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! Michael Jordan, oldest player at age 40 to score 40 points.
I legitimately did not realize that Michael had even played till he was 40. I thought he retired at 38.
He was with the Wizards.
He was with the Wizards.
All right, oldest player to register a triple-double. I feel like if you didn't get Jordan, this one might be tough. It's a big name.
Russell Westbrook.
That's a good— it's a good guess.
Oscar Robertson.
LeBron. Wilt.
This guy, kind of a POS.
Karl Malone.
That's right!
Thank you for the hint.
It's a good hint.
All right, next one. Oldest player. This one's for Roy. Why me?
Why the kind of a POS?
I mean, allegedly.
I don't know.
I'm scared of everything. I don't think it's alleged. All right.
I think it happened.
A verified POS. Oldest NHL player to score a hat trick. Everyone's looking at Roy. This one's easy.
Lemieux.
Is easy?
Uh, Gretzky.
Ovechkin.
Ovechkin.
Ovechkin?
No.
Who was still playing at like 60 years old?
Gordie.
Jaeger.
Yeah, Jaeger.
Woo!
This is fun. We're having fun, right? All right, let's keep going. Oldest MLB pitcher to throw a no-hitter.
I mean, Nolan Ryan.
That's right. All right, this is, this is, this is what, this one made me want to do this game. Oldest player to hit a grand slam.
Julio Franco.
Look at that!
Wow.
Damn.
I think he's got the list.
I think he's got the list in front of him.
Check it.
Oldest NFL player to run for a touchdown. Not a running back.
Oh, the, the, the DB.
No.
The DB? The DB? You have— so you have—
what was that?
Darryl Green?
Yeah, that is who I was thinking of.
It was a good job by him because I said no. So now you know all DBs are out.
That is who I was thinking of.
Steve DeBerg. No.
George Blanda.
I don't know why I've gone away from the zzz to no. I'm gonna get back to the zzz.
Brady.
He just guessed George Blanda.
Y.A. Tittle.
Montana.
Johnny Unitas.
Brady.
Smaller quarterback.
Flutie.
That's right. That's right.
Wow.
You guys want to keep going?
I got a couple more.
Not really. Okay.
Uh, Brad Pitt was speaking in Irish slang. In the, uh, in the film Snatch.
I had fun.
He was just making up a language though.
Of course.
That was not, that was not a real language.
It could have been, uh, Gaelic.
What a movie.
Was not Gaelic.
No?
Mike Gaelic Jr.?
Right now he's not even doing that.
I hate Gaelic.
Down, Lebatar!
Can't wait for 39.
Yeah, I can't either. 40 comes first.
Do you know what 40 is yet?
Not yet.
See, what are we doing? Greg, did you just laugh? Did you just laugh out loud at something Lewis said in your ear?
Greg Cody?
Yes.
I couldn't help it, it was funny. Yeah, but thanks, Louis. Gagging the goose, of course. Choking the frog. I mean, there's a million of them. Of course, half of them would sound dirty if we keep doing it.
This is the Dan Levitan Show. Snatch is one of the best movie experiences of my life because I was in, uh, London with my brother. Is it Piccadilly Square? Uh, it was It was just an unusual theater. We had it to ourselves, middle of the day. And I— the 2 best movie experiences of my life in the theater— I don't know if you guys have stuff you would want to nominate for this— has very different feelings around it. Snatch was a movie I wasn't expecting anything from, and I was being introduced to Guy Ritchie as a director. I would recommend just about anything Guy Ritchie makes. All of it is personality-driven in a way that is just aesthetically pleasing and fun to watch. And I've told you before that the movie The Matrix, because I was not someone who liked science fiction or wasn't at the time a very big fan of Keanu Reeves, and when I saw the movie, it exceeded very small expectations that I had. Do you guys have movie theater experiences? I'm not talking to Cody because he hasn't been to the movie theater in about 40 years. Movie theater experiences that you associate with a movie because it's discovery, because there are— extenuating circumstances that make it something more memorable for you?
Yeah, like, I think people have seen the videos that circulated online afterward, but Avengers: Endgame in the theater with a crowd full of comic book fans was a pretty awesome experience.
I should add Tropic Thunder to that because we watched it with a bunch of fans of our show. We watched it as sort of a celebration of just a bunch of weirdness, and Terrell Owens was there. There was a whole bunch of star power there.
Did Let It Ride happen for you that way?
Why are you smiling that way?
Because that was just a tremendous night that we had.
I hid behind a curtain there because nobody came because we were watching Let It Ride, Richard Dreyfuss, 20 years after it had come out because it's David Sampson's favorite movie and it's the first thing and the only thing we've done that didn't summon a crowd of any size.
No one came?
No one, I mean, there were like 9 people there.
It was a monsoon.
It was raining torrentially as well. I was hiding behind a curtain. Like, the people who did come in found me hiding behind a curtain. 'Cause you were embarrassed. Well, yeah, I was embarrassed. We spent a good amount of time promoting the fact that we were watching a 20-year-old movie.
Just—
well, we were— what happened there is it had all gone to our heads. We, we got a whole— we got 1,000 people to come to Highline, and we're like, if we can do that, we can get 1,000 people to come anywhere. And then it ends with me hiding behind a curtain.
I remember I went to one of those that you guys did. It was for Die Hard, Live Free or Die Hard, and you guys thought it was gonna be an awful movie. That's why I did that movie. It was not awful. It was fun.
Chris Cody.
Everyone relax. We've got a bit of a situation back here. Everyone, everyone, relax. Now, the site that I got this game show from, was it from 2015? Yes. But only one of those was incorrect. LeBron has scored 40 points after 40. It's not MJ.
Twice.
Other than that, perfectly well done. Good job, Chris. I can, I can almost guarantee— hold on, Chris, hold on a second. I can almost guarantee Tom Brady had a sneak touchdown at 45 years old. So there's no way that Doug— you're saying no. And you just told me a list from 2015.
Can't be, Flutie.
Bruce Willis was standing on a fighter jet in that Die Hard movie.
Ridiculous.
Chris, I think Tony's got you cornered. I do believe that he's right.
He was 45 years old.
Tom Brady probably had a sneak at 43 or 44. That was a rushing touchdown. I read yesterday— I don't know which of the football stats were interesting to you, Greg. It's good to have you in on a Tuesday because we haven't gotten any of your NFL thoughts, and I would like some of them.
But, uh, Tom Brady had a rushing touchdown at 45. A little bit of cherry-picking going on, let's be honest.
I think you might want to look up Russell Westbrook's age too on Triple Double. Yeah, because I believe your list is really bad and it's 11 years old and you got everything wrong. You were proud of your game and—
That shit would have slapped at the Clevelander though.
You, uh, yeah, you—
It was LeBron. LeBron at 41 years old.
I already knew that one. Russell isn't 40 yet, so that'd be tough for him to have a triple-double after 40 because he's not yet 40.
Thank you, Tony. I appreciate how gentle you were with that correction. What I was saying about Josh Allen is Josh Allen now has, I believe the number is 88 touchdowns from scrimmage, and it makes him the only franchise leader in touchdowns from scrimmage who's not a wide receiver or a running back. You're legitimately talking about Josh Allen. You're talking about a player who doesn't have a precedent. To be at this stage in his career, still in his prime, and be someone as a quarterback who has that many rushing touchdowns because of his size, his athleticism, and what he does on the goal line, which nobody can really stop.
He's absolutely phenomenal. Best quarterback in the league. Best all-around quarterback in the league. Knock on wood he stays healthy. He's built like a linebacker. I'd rather have him on my team than any other passer in the entire league, which— all of which magnifies that the guy needs to win a Super Bowl. Not because he has to have one to make the Hall of Fame, but for his legacy, because he's that great. He deserves a Super Bowl. I felt that everybody felt the same way about Aaron Rodgers before he finally won a Super Bowl. The guy is so great, he deserves a Super Bowl.
He doesn't deserve it unless he actually wins it.
I think he— I think his career merits a Super Bowl. I think it'll come for him eventually. But I think if you're a— if you're not a Bills fan but you're a football fan, I think you root for Josh Allen. I do. I think he's that great.
No, I'm a Dolphins fan. I don't want the Bills to win anything.
Okay, but you're a rival of Buffalo.
That's right.
Okay, I'm not. I think a general football fan is going— and same way with LJAC. Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen are so great, they deserve Super Bowls.
When you look at Mahomes and Allen, it's almost like the Marino-Montana of our time in that you have someone who's so great in Josh Allen who is yet to win, and he just keeps climbing up the ladder of the greatest quarterbacks to ever do it.
I don't trust the decorative ladder.
Do you guys— do you guys agree with me on what it is that I was saying yesterday? And I should mention with the Chiefs, another stat that was interesting from yesterday is that Patrick Mahomes already has 4 50-plus-yard plays this season. Only had 2 of those all of last season. But can you guys look up for me some Joe Montanas? We did this with Roethlisberger yesterday. How rare it was for a quarterback to get injured once upon a time and miss a lot of time versus what it is that we're presently seeing in the league where you have already a rash of backups all over the league, even though they keep changing the rules. So that we've actually done the hardest thing. We have gotten fans to change their mind on how they view football, and you rarely hear anybody anymore on a giant hit say something like, they used to allow them to play football. Like, people have gotten used to the changed narrative. We've gotten their attention with the idea that brain injuries are something that none of us would want to have. And the way that fans— largely, not everybody, I'm not saying everybody, but largely the way that fans consume football, they're not doing a great deal of complaining when there's a penalty on a giant hit over the middle on a defenseless receiver.
The only place they're doing that complaining is that the quarterbacks, since Tom Brady was injured, are playing a totally different sport than everyone else who's out there amid the violence. They get to have a position that's almost like the kicker in terms of they are just insulated from some of the violence in a way that makes it Super unusual, and yet still they're getting hit at a rate— just look out for me, Joe Montana, and how often he missed games due to injury.
Every time we see these hits on quarterbacks, like for instance this past weekend with the penalty on— or 2 weeks ago with the Dolphins and the Chiefs— every time we see a hit like that, I try and think back how much quarterbacks '80s, '90s, I mean They must have been getting murdered back there because it wasn't just, okay, you were allowed to hit him however you wanted as long as it was in a timely fashion, but late hits, they gave you a lot of grace with late hits too.
And AstroTurf as well.
You were able to dive at their legs. Like, you, you, if, if you hit him in the head, it was okay, you know, as long as you didn't grab the face mask. These quarterbacks must have been getting murdered back then and they still stayed in the game.
Yeah, you mentioned Joe Montana and you mentioned hits. I think about that, that 49ers-Giants game where he took that hit. I think it was from Lawrence Taylor or one of the—
It was Leonard Marshall, I think.
Yeah, Leonard Marshall.
Yeah, that— he got murdered on that hit.
Yeah, and these guys, they just— and they didn't come out. Like, they kept playing.
It was crazy. When did concussions come into the football lexicon? Because I remember throughout Dan Marino's entire career, I'm sure he had concussions.
It was Troy Aikman and Steve Young, the two of them.
Okay, so that was a little bit later, but not that much later. Yeah, it was late '90s.
Yeah.
Aikman says in that Jerry Jones documentary that there is an NFC Championship game that he played in, played well in, and advanced to the Super Bowl in that he does not remember. Just doesn't remember playing in it at all because— and, and his career ended earlier than he would have liked because of the number of concussions. But just look up for me because I want to know if I have this wrong. Bernie Kosar, some of these older quarterbacks who played on AstroTurf, played Yeah. By the pre-Brady rules that allowed people to dive at their ankles. And you saw how Mariota was hurt on Sunday, right? It's basically a guy landing on his ankle who's 300-something pounds. And the people are so big that once upon a time, William the Refrigerator Perry was considered a mammoth gargantuan person who was much bigger than everyone else. £325. Like, he got commercials and stuff for being £40 heavier than everyone else. If you go back to the '60s and '70s, Larry Little was a Hall of Fame guard at £260. That's what the linebackers are now.
Josh Allen is.
Dan Levitar.
And you do eat butt all the time, correct?
Greg Cody. Oh yeah, I just had some, uh, a couple of weeks ago.
This is the Dan Levitar Show. Is that the best theory any of you have on why it is the quarterbacks, while the rules are all being changed to protect them, can't actually be kept healthy? It's because everyone who's out there is moving at a rate of speed that is 50, 60, £70 heavier than it used to be.
Yeah, and the athleticism. We've talked about this across sports. The Achilles injuries in the NBA, Tommy John in Major League Baseball. We're trying to maximize athleticism in a in a different way than we used to. And when guys are building themselves up to run that fast, jump that high, hit that hard, you're going to see more injuries. With Joe Montana, he had 2 major ones. He had a herniated disc that he suffered week 1. It was a ruptured disc. He came back despite them saying he probably wouldn't play again. He came back 8 games later and he finished out the rest of that season in '86. And then the elbow injury you guys talked about, he missed 2 full seasons because of that, played 1 game at the very Bernie Kosar, out of 12 years in the NFL, played a full slate of games only 3 times in his career.
But how— what's the lowest number of games that he had?
Uh, let's see, he had 3, 2, 4.
Yeah, but you may be looking at years that he was a backup. Look at the years with the Browns.
He had 12— played one where 12 games, 12 games, 9 games, 13 games.
They miss games.
And, and the, the position of quarterback is so crucial in football that there's no rest built in. There's no time off built in. And unless it's the last game of the season and your team has already clinched, you take the day off. But other than that, you're never given rest. I mean, if you're healthy, you're going to play. If you're not healthy, you're going to play if you can. And everybody's bigger and everybody's faster. Guards now— you mentioned Larry Little— the guards now are like 340. Look at Proctor, the first-round draft pick for the Dolphins. Huge.
Doesn't the University of Florida have a 415-pound player?
I believe they do.
I've got 2 Greg Cody and Chris Cody lists here. I've got Chris Cody's top 25 scorers better than Tyler Herro in Miami Heat history. And I also have a great deal of controversy surrounding Greg Cody and his catchphrase list. Uncle Dick, his older brother, is on the latest Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. And in it, he accuses Greg Cody in Uncle Dick style of having stolen 12 phrases from him, and then because of the general sloppiness of The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody, there are only 10 now. I am learning Greg Cody has now listened to the podcast, his own podcast, 3 or 4 times, as he does every week.
Yeah, usually twice.
And he's gone through it, and, and he has found that there are now 10 objections that Uncle Dick has. Can you tell me how it is, Chris, that you guys discovered that Uncle Dick has an assortment of complaints about Greg getting a lot of attention for his list when he doesn't deserve it, and, uh, 1/7 of the list is stolen.
Yeah, he presented it as a Dirty Dozen, 12 of them. He just forgot to do one. He just left it off, so it was 11, but one of them that he actually said wasn't on my dad's top 75. It was just one my dad— it was a good one, my place or urine, which my dad's been saying for as long as I can remember. And what was the other one, Dad? Like, what would the old football coach say that involved urine?
Uh, uh, Bum Phillips used to say about how great Don Shula was, that he can take urine players and— No.
Urine and beat his 'em.
No, he can take his 'em and beat urine and urine and beat his 'em.
Okay, urine and beat his 'em.
So you just said that what Bum Phillips said is he can take urine. That was your famous saying for Bum Phillips.
I never knew Bum. Oh boy.
So there was 10 that actually were on the list, and for about half of them he actually had— the biggest one, we'll just get into it. The biggest one that I actually think he has a legit gripe with, Uncle Dick is the creator of—
What?
What?
I dispute that.
What? What?
What? What? What? What?
What?
That was also on his list, but he doesn't say it that way, so...
Dad, give us the 10 that he said, that he claims.
OK, number— well, I'm going to go in order. Number 12, it's all urine. And I say that all the time. I say it as I'm going into a bathroom, and the guy coming in, I'm going out, the guy walking in, I tell him it's all urine.
Or you say, my place or urine.
My place or urine. So I do say that.
You say that to people coming out of a bathroom?
Random people.
It's all urine.
You can't say my place or urine.
If someone said that to me, I'd be like, that's it.
You're hitting on somebody.
No.
My place or urine outside?
No, it's just a friendly little— as you're walking in, they're walking like, it's just like, hey, it's all urine.
No, my place or urine is hitting on— you can't— that's hitting on somebody outside of a bathroom.
These are 2 different things.
No.
That is flirting.
These are 2 different things, guys.
I don't say that to people going into a bathroom. I say it's all urine.
Like, I'm leaving the bathroom, it's all urine.
Right, that's funny.
How about when I go to the bathroom, no one talks to me?
Yeah, that's okay.
Just a general rule.
I don't follow you into the stall. I mean, I'm just saying, I'm, I'm being friendly.
It's all urine.
You're following people into the stall saying, my place or urine?
No, you guys are so—
this is the head nod when you're walking into the bathroom and— or no, you're walking out, someone's going in, right?
I want to know from Greg, answer my question, how many How many of the catchphrases, are you willing to concede, are stolen from Uncle Dick? Just give me a number and no elaboration.
Um, that's not an easy answer because there's an explanation for every— everything.
How many are stolen?
None.
Chris Cody, the best. You got to tune in because Uncle Dick, he would be like, you took this one, and we'd be like, how often do you say that? like, I say it occasionally. Like, he had— he didn't feel that strongly about almost any of these.
And here's another example. Number 11 on his list was another crisis averted. I say another crisis solved, which flows off the tongue a lot better.
Another crisis solved flows better. I gave this one on the episode.
And I never remember my brother saying another crisis averted. Who says the word averted?
Another one that's slightly— Uncle Dick claims that he invented Hee Haw Hee.
What? Which is a lie.
And then my dad took it out to the front yard and took his Hee Haw Hee and turned it into Hee Haw 3.
Hee Haw 3!
Ba-day-um.
Ba-day-um. Ba-day-um, right.
Do you— is he accurate?
Maybe, I don't know.
So that's a lot of this episode. Neither of them remember anything.
Okay, Hee Haw Hee.
This sounds electric, man.
This is a great episode.
It's an amnesia episode.
It's 2 old people.
Literally is, I don't know, did you say it? I don't know.
Hee Haw Hee and Hee Haw 3 are 2 different things. Hee-haw, 3, ba-dap!
Keep going.
All right, number 9, blank in it.
He claims that one.
That's mine. I, I don't know that that's his. Number 8, that's a fact, Jack. Mine. Number 7, you get to eat a peck of dirt before you die.
Now—
That's Doogie.
That's Nellie Doogie.
And Uncle Dick's older, so it is possible.
So he probably heard it first, so I'm gonna give him that. Number 6, he did not have an answer. Uh, we just went right to 5, so that's where the omission was. Number 5, it's like a packing house in here. Never heard my brother say that.
That is true. I've never heard him say that.
Number 4, baby. Never heard my brother say that.
And even if he had that first, his delivery of it is not as good as my dad's. So you just get that one.
Okay, number 3, he goes, whaaaat? Which is a mile and a half from—
Uncle Dick claims it's like some '50s or '60s radio show that they would listen to where the DJ would be like, whaaaat?
Okay.
And he thinks my dad has turned that radio noise into—
What?
What? It's ridiculous.
Tony, do it right. If you're gonna—
What?
What?
Okay. Number 2.
Very good.
I'm gonna partly give my brother credit for that one.
I can remember as early— like, my uncle has said— I don't know, they both have done it, but my uncle, I can picture on the golf course at a very young age, like, when I make a putt.
Very good.
Okay, I'm gonna give my brother half credit for very good. Half credit. And number 1, Trailers for Sale or Rent, which is a song, okay? We've both heard the song.
Which he knew all the lyrics to. You can check out the episode, they go into like a minute, them just singing the song, and my dad does his classic trailers for property, and Uncle Dick is like singing all the whole song.
He does know all the words. Maybe he knows the song better than I, but I'm the one who, outside of the original version, made it famous.
Well, several of these, you're claiming that your brother— that it's not his, but that you stole it from someone else.
Uh, I wouldn't use the word stolen.
Like, what word would you use?
If I'm paraphrasing the song, trailers for sale or rent. I— that, that has become, uh—
You're not paraphrasing, you're quoting the lyrics.
You're upgrading it. If your math is, Dad, if your math is I made it famous, then you can just claim anything because you have a podcast and he doesn't.
He could have a podcast. I tell my brother all the time, he ought to have a podcast.
Do you tell him that?
He also should be on Cameo. Uncle Dick Cameo.
How much do you think he should charge if he did Cameo?
$10.
Greg.
Yeah.
Your older brother is accusing you of this, and how did this come up in conversation? How did the accusation come up? And you just said a couple of your banger phrases, and there seemed to be some real questions about who the inventor was of some of your banger catchphrases that he's alleging are stolen?
Well, he gave us 10 examples.
His dirty dozen.
8 of them were totally— Uncle Dick's Dirty 10 just doesn't have the same ring to it. I refuted several of them. I gave him part credit for some. It's like, you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. We got 3 minutes, folks. That's Nellie Dougie's.
I mean, that's neither of our You know, Roy, Roy, you're the only one who knows there are 3 minutes.
It's just a reminder, Dan. Oh, it's so good. Never stop. Every day, the rest of the show history.
You're the only one who knows there are 3 minutes left in the segment, and you're giving us a clock based on Cam Ward walking into a press conference. That is unfair sound that we have treated poorly and taken out of context because he walked into a room where only Troy was, and Troy, Troy Troy's not even a member of the media. Troy is just someone who works on Titans staff and rues every day he has to go into work because he thought he was going to work for the NFL and instead he works for the Titans.
They got 3 minutes, bro. Your 3-minute warning.
Uh, Chris, where are you on your top 25 list of scorers better than Tyler Herro in Heat history?
All right, so we all agreed that he's 13th based on my previous segment.
No, you had 2 players in who have never scored a basket for the Miami Heat being better Heat scorers.
That's right, Giannis. All right, so I'm gonna— I have Clay. I have 10 more names here. You guys could just play yes or no with me here. We can go quick through this. I feel good about a lot of these. Michael Beasley?
Yes.
No.
Clearly.
Offense? The greatest scorer of all time?
Obviously not.
Okay, I think that's really close. Jamal Mashburn?
No.
Yeah.
Borderline. No.
Debatable. Lamar Odom? No.
No.
I see you guys are just doing this thing. They don't know what they're doing. Trick of just like I'm just talking about a certain thing. I'm just talking about like, who would I rather— like, I'd rather have that dude.
I completely understand.
Michael Beasley's a bust. Michael Beasley's a bust.
About Beasley, I'm just talking about offense. But everybody—
that's all we're talking about in general is just offense.
Michael is a better scorer than Tyler Herro. I'm sorry.
Michael is a different category of— he's a bucket getter.
He is a bucket getter.
Oh, that's a different category.
Bucket getter means scorer.
May I continue? You guys are not understanding the differences between scorer and bucket getter.
Jason Williams.
Wow, you're an insane person.
Hell no.
Yes, yes.
Goran Dragic. Wow, the Dragon. Yes. No, no, I'm just saying, I just think a lot of these are close. Antoine Walker.
Absolutely.
Tippy-toe 3, guys.
Steve Smith.
The Smitty.
You talk about unstoppable moves, Smitty on the baseline. I don't like what you're doing.
Zaz? Are you asking me if he has a better hesitation dribble into a high-low?
I'm talking about unstoppable move, the Smitty.
Okay, make— that's your next list, Chris. Unstoppable moves.
That's not the game we're playing. Rayford Austin.
You're a no-no.
You're wasting my time.
His and-1 mix is a legend.
Shawn Marion.
Yeah, that's right. Shawn Marion is a better scorer for the Heat. Shawn Marion.
The Glove.
Wow, Gary Payton legend.
You're ridiculous.
Ricky Davis. Oh, Ricky Davis! Caleb Martin.
You get out of here!
Get out of here!
That finals performance!
Get out of here!
You thought his name was Kevin Martin.
I never knew, bum.
"I don't trust a decorative ladder."
'Uncle Dick's Rough Riders' owner, Uncle Dick, has a list of Uncle Dick's Dirty Dozen. There will be no further explanation.
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