Transcript of JuJu Changes Rules For Multiple Sports | Postgame Show New

Against the Spread.

Against the Spread. Against the Spread is presented by DraftKings Sports.

DraftKings, the crown is yours. Tony.

All right, I'm going to the 3rd primetime game for the Atlanta Falcons in 3 weeks. They are going to be at home against the Baltimore Ravens. -3 is the line. Atlanta is favored. I'm going to take the Falcons in the advanced line here because we don't know if A, Lamar Jackson's gonna play, and B, how long he's gonna be out for. Snoop Huntley will be in his stead. I'm gonna take that advanced line at -3. Give me them Dirty Birds, Drew.

Greg.

What?

What?

Against the spread.

Well, the NFL is playing yet another game in London in Week 5, and the Eagles are getting 6.5 points against the Jaguars. That's a big line to give Philadelphia in a neutral game. Give me Jalen Hurts in that one big time. That kind of thing.

Big time.

Perfect.

Big time.

6.5.

Perfect time.

We're gonna get to Juju in a second. We're gonna get to the polls in a second. I've got some sound though that I am fairly shocked by that we haven't done enough with. And I wanna remind you too that we have, uh, Levitard Plus on a subscription basis. Nothing about the show changes. The show is still free. Every episode is still free, but we do have bonus content twice a week to start. We've got audio only exclusive to Apple Podcasts, early access access to Le Batard and Friends content and a bunch of perks coming soon. So if you want to sign up, Le Batard Plus, we've got a bunch of stuff coming your way. It's for the most loyal among you who want yet more of the stuff that we're making, even though we're making just about, uh, more than anybody daily. Uh, this sound though, uh, Andrei Kuzmenko, this is somebody who plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins, and, uh, I just can't believe some of this sound that we're about to play. Now, Tony, You and I have talked a little bit about how UFC has this sort of plague of wrestlers who come from places—

The stands.

Where the things that happen in these places make them tougher and more rugged. They're making the sport less aesthetically pleasing, but they're just unbelievably jagged, hardened men. Listen to this story, okay? Kuzmenko is Russian, and listen to this story that he's telling about his father's passing.

Everyone, okay, I want to say, because I respect your job and I understand this is hockey, it's a little bit media work, and I be honest in my life and I don't want, you know, the false about these things. I want true. I one time say about everything. And this is my father go to permit fishing with friends and he stay in the water and Bears behind him and attack. And my father in the water, in the water fight with bears in 1 hour 10 minutes, and he is still, still live. And after 2 days in the big shock. And this is permit fishing, it's everything is good.

And, uh, I want to throw, and what's happened is He is saying that his father died in a bear attack and fought— he wanted people to know how valiantly his father fought against an actual bear.

It's incredible the way that he's telling that story. It's obviously very, very sad, but he's, he's, he's trying to, you know, I think when he says, I want everyone, you know, it's true, I think he's trying to let everyone know that his father died in a very brave way. He tried Like he put up a great fight against this bear that attacked him, and it was for over an hour, and even lived for another couple of days before he succumbed to his injuries. But you could just tell he's— I mean, obviously sad, but he's trying to— trying to let everyone know that he's proud of his father.

Like, everything we've heard from Ron is like, the bears will go and you try to play dead, right? They'll sniff you around, they'll be like, all right, this is kind of over. For that bear to keep going after him, for him to continue to defend himself with probably whatever he had— fists, rocks, whatever— Like, that's insane.

That was remarkable composure by that player. I'm curious, the timeline— did his father just die recently, or is he recalling something that was a while ago?

It was like last week, maybe.

That's crazy that he could tell it like that without breaking apart.

It's a tough thing to do under any circumstances, and your second language, trying to make your way through that is pretty hard. So condolences and sincere condolences. Just seems like an awful story. Also, A pretty terrible way to lead into Juju, who wants to do Joker of the Week.

Thank you.

Dead fish right in my damn lap. Hey, guys.

Joker of the Week. He wants to do post-show awards. I'm sure that— let's start with some rule changes. Something light here. Do you have any amendments here, Juju, that you would like to make since we're always changing the rules of sports around here to fit around our conveniences?

Yes, sir, man. Straight out the dome. My brother landed it right on the— like, right in the strike zone. Goalpost lasers. Y'all, this is the answer. Shoot them straight to Saturn. If the ball even touches the laser, it's good. Which now comes with the new rule: ball doinks, that's more points. You dig it? It shouldn't be that, that hard.

Doinks, more points.

Doinks, more points. Doinks, more points. That's a good one.

More points.

Put it on the poll at Le Batard Show. If a field goal kicker doinks the kick, should it be worth more than—

We're just talking side post, right?

Anything.

Yeah, no, no, no, not for that front.

That—

not the crossbar.

The front should be even more than that.

Uprights only.

I think uprights 4 points, uh, uprights 4 points, and then—

Crossbar 3.5.

Crossbar, uh, 3.5.

That's the best sound in football. We covered the doink.

What if it's the stanchion?

I'll get back to you.

Don't you guys love the idea of you ha— you're down by 4 late, you're 50 yards away, instead of a Hail Mary your kicker has to try and hit the goalpost.

I think I prefer Hail Mary. Yeah, let's take away Hail Marys for maybe the guy hits the goalpost.

I like Adam's strategy. Go ahead, Juju.

Another rule, baseball, I'm looking at you. If a player hits the ball and it hits the roof in bounds, not foul territory, that's a damn home run, man.

Even if it's a pop-up? Even if he hit it straight up?

Right straight to the catcher.

I like it.

Even if it's straight up, it doesn't even have to be in the outfield. How bad do you feel if you're France in that situation where you've hit a ball hard enough to be a home run?

It happened to Spencer Jones too. They hit it, but both of them hit it sky high. Like, if you look at Statcast, both would have been just flyouts. But when you hit the ball that hard and that high in the air, feels like it's going to be a home run. And now we've had it happen twice. I can't wait for the World Series where you have Milwaukee and Tampa and it just happens every single game no matter where they're playing.

Because they don't— well, Tampa doesn't play in a real ballpark.

That place is crazy. It feels like a fish tank.

Uh, what do you have? Do you have any other rule changes that you'd like to submit, Juju?

Yeah, this is the last one, and this is a rule amendment. Defensive backs and safeties, if they call a pass interference on you and you sitting here doing all this and the replay show you grabbing the damn jersey, 10 more yards, bro, for lying. Get out of my face, man. Stop.

They all do that too. I, I, and I always believe them. I always believe them when they start complaining and then they play the replay and it's always obvious. It's every single time they're grabbing on a jersey. Those are all good rule changes. Uh, what do we have in terms of Joker of the Week, Juju? You have any jokers?

Yes sir, man. Fever GM Amber Cox took to the stand, the podium, and said The attacks on our fan base have no basis in reality, and they need to stop. The same press conference, 5, 10 minutes later, Kelsey Mitchell got up there and says, man, it's so hard to play for a fan base who you can already tell does not like you. Man, Amber Cox, you, ma'am, are the joker of the week for trying to pull the wool over America's eyes acting like we don't see what's going on in Indiana, man. Come on.

Gotta do a better job coordinating the messages there.

Mm-hmm.

It's a gag, man. It's rough. Imagine being Kelsey, bro. That's why I always salute Kelsey Mitchell, because all throughout the year, of course you want to stand up and be like, I don't agree with Sophie. Oh, I don't think this about this. I'm a Black woman and y'all saying this. And sis stayed quiet and she played basketball. And then when the season was over, she let her voice be heard. And them Indiana Fever fans jumped in her mentions and said, shut up and dribble, we don't hate you, B-word. I'm like, okay.

Uh, we're gonna get to the polls in a second, but let's see, was anyone award-worthy on the show today? Is Juju, uh, willing to be, uh, generous enough to give out some awards today?

Yes, sir, absolutely, man. My brother, I'm giving the Bravery Award To my brother Chris Cody, man. He stood in that fire and stayed in that fire. His list might not have been worth a damn, but he was brave for putting them out there.

Good job.

Not a coward.

Ricky Davis as a better—

Oh, I thought he was talking about my trivia game segment.

Whoa.

Really brought it there too.

Your game show of oldest players according to a list you looked up in 2015.

Well, I know I looked it up this year. It was made in 2015.

Yeah.

Also, last award, the Keep It a Hun Dun Award, man, goes to my brother Dan Levitar.

Hun Dun.

You saw what I saw today. We say, LeBron, you're an idiot for flying from Philly to New York. What a douche nozzle. Wayne Huizenga said some racist things.

Huh?

Huh?

It's okay, guys. Let's move on.

For the record, Huizenga did not say some racist things. I just happened to know that he didn't like how brown Miami displayed the behavior of a racist.

I know. Either way, Tyler Herro, we don't like the discourse around Tyler Herro. We shouldn't boo him. Booing him would be a shame. But we don't remember Tyler did this to himself. He remember he had Twitter fingers this summer and the captain of your team decided to put pause on Tyler for what he said. That's why he gonna get his ass booed. Salute.

So it's both Juju and Zazz believe that Tyler Herro is going to get booed because of how uncharacteristic it is that I think he should.

That's my point. I think he should. If we gonna say, hey, Jaylen Brown, you're an asshole for saying something during the offseason, we have to keep the same energy. Tyler Herro, you, sir, also are an asshole and we're gonna boo you as well.

I bet you get 75-25. I think 60-40. 75-25 cheers. But there's gonna be boos. But I don't think it's a— it's not gonna be all cheers, but there's gonna be some boos. Not all.

Mostly boos.

I don't like going out there on that limb, Jeremy. Yep.

It depends on the buildup to the game, right? I mean, if Bam brings it up, if it, if it becomes news again—

If Bam says, everyone boo!

@LeBatardShow is how you vote on the polls. I really don't want to do the show of will Tyler Herro be booed months from now.

Oh, it's gonna be 75-25.

We did the 2-1. What percentage? What pie chart? Where are you at on the pie chart right now?

I don't, uh, 60-40. I don't want to do that show. I'm not—

78-22.

At Le Batard Show, 70-30 boo.

We'll see who's right. It's gonna be me. I'm always right. Yeah, we'll have someone measure.

52-49.

Uh, let's do the polls from yesterday as well, Juju, if there are any left over from yesterday. If you have any, uh, let's, uh, update the polls.

Yes, sir. Was Josh Allen throwing the ball forward while throwing it backwards, throwing it backward while throwing it forward? 66% of the audience says yes.

Right now it's not even doing that.

It's totally accurate.

Is Jack Strand a good name for a superhero? 67% of the audience says no, it is not.

Right now it's not even doing that.

And last poll, is a walk indeed as good as a hit? 69% of the audience says yes, and those are your votes.

Right now it's time to do the rap. Bye-bye.