Transcript of Ron Magill Makes A Soccer Team Of Animals | Hour 2

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Greg Cody has said before that it has not been commented on if he has not commented on it. So even though he's a day late to this discussion, he has some thoughts on the Marlins pulling starting pitcher Uri Perez. After 7 perfect innings and 90-plus pitches the other day. What are your thoughts?

Okay, I don't say this just because it very nearly exploded in the Marlins' face because the bullpen exploded and they ended up winning 9-8, I think it was. I think there are some things, very few, more important than an emphasis on winning, and I think pitching a perfect game is one of them. It's one of the rarest things in sports. It's tenfold more rare than, um, a no-hitter. And I think he— and he was 6 outs away. I think he should have been given a chance, particularly for a team, a middling team that's having a good season but isn't, you know, they're in the playoff chase. I just think he should have been given a chance to pitch a perfect game.

So you say there are some things more important than winning. This actually dovetails with winning because Rare is the perfect game that you lose. So it's not like it's more important than winning. You get the perfect game, you have largely without exception won that game unless the guy opposite you is also throwing a shutout.

Yeah, but when I say it like that, what I mean is if I'm Scott McCullough, my emphasis is—

What about Clayton?

What about Clayton? I'm sorry.

Who is Scott McCullough?

You know, I have a friend named Scott McCullough.

That's my mom's coworker's husband.

I have a friend— okay.

No way.

Apologies.

Can we call him and ask what he would have done in that spot?

Please.

You have his number, Chris?

That's funny.

Try it again.

I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry to both, both McCulloughs. But if I'm the manager, my emphasis is this kid deserves a once in a career shot at a perfect game. My emphasis is not, you know what, we have a 4% better chance to win if we go.

What are the things now that you're making the list? What are the things more important than winning? Because I do agree with him. I do think there are rare instances where you can prioritize the individual over the team, and this would be one of them because it's not even a no-hitter. Like, that time has passed in baseball. There are a lot of, there are a lot of bullpen no-hitters. And in fact, I don't even think that they get very much fanfare anymore because of how it is. You've cheapened the no-hitter when it's 6 bullpen guys walking 6. But a perfect game, 27 batters faced, your team doesn't make any errors, you don't walk anybody. Nobody reaches base. Uh, those— there have only been 24 of those ever, and he was 6 outs away. Uh, do you guys hear a lot of arguments on the other side of this? Is, is this about as close as you will come to consensus in sports, where most sports fans are like, oh, come on, they used to throw 130 pitches, you got to let him finish that game, I'm tired of all of these maximizations of efficiency that steal, uh, the sport's soul by doing silly sort of math instead of like giving a young pitcher a chance at immortality.

I mean, almost every Marlins fan reaction that I saw wanted Yuri Perez to at least have a shot at getting 6 more outs. It's why it was so weird, like, the Marlins television guy Kyle Selaff called Marlins fans brain dead who felt that way.

Yeah, he did.

What?

Brain dead?

Yeah, he apologized for it. He walked it back, but yes, he was castigating the audience in a way that was dismissive, and he then apologized for it.

They have a dead brain, Greg.

That's absolutely ridiculous.

What?

There you go. There's a rumor that may make the catchphrase countdown. Right, and the committee has met on this, and the reason it qualifies for the catchphrase countdown is that although that just sounds like gibberish, what it is is a repeat of the word "what." What?

Tony, you got to work on yours because it does have that parrot.

He's the master though.

I know, I know, but— Mine's lacking the parrot. Well, you can try. To upgrade your game. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Yes, it's a series of 8 whas, W-H-U, followed by a what? Yes.

I'd like you guys to challenge each other here.

Okay, go ahead, Tony.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Oh, I see where it is.

It's his cheeks are looser.

That's what it is.

Yeah, that's it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? No! You gotta start off a little higher— Bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwaht?

That's Cody thing; The Codys can do it.

Can you do it?!

Let me see: "Bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah bwah!" But that was more chicken than chad...

Do it again let me hear ya.

That was a buh-buh-buh sound.

I was trying to show off go ahead dude.

Yeah yo we gotta go: 'bwahaha' Better!

That's my boy!

By the way I've gotten Scott McCullough number I'm gonna text him.

Alright well no just call him, let's call him!

Call him!?

Like let's talk to this guy for 15 years hahaha Just say Chris Coates from D&D Beyond!

Oh, just— okay, yeah, this is—

I want to hear—

I want you to pick up the phone and go, Scott, my dad confused you with the Marlins manager.

Let's do it on speaker.

Let's do that. Yes, let's do the whole thing.

Hey, it's Chris.

Hey, we'll let him know he's on air. We're old friends.

Yes. Also, if he doesn't answer, just leave him a message, and I'd like for all of us to be able to eavesdrop on how awkward this is. You haven't talked to him in 15 years. Let's go ahead and do that call. Live. And yes, please tell him he's on the air. There are legal ramifications for not telling him.

All right, here we go.

Hey, this is Chris Cody. Call me back.

This is— these are the dangers of doing some of these things live.

If you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.

Oh, given the reason, give him a—

Chris Cody calling about the Miami Marlins.

Scott's gonna hear that and go, what?

Please stay on the line.

So we'll see if we get through. I would have liked the morning music. He's gonna be like, "Chris Cody, I'm bored." How's Beth?

Just go right into the question.

Just—

why?

Hey, it's okay.

It's all right, it's all right, it's all right. I'm sorry, this person is not available.

Uh, Chris, hold on. Hang up, hang up, and now call back and make the, the explanation more detailed.

Good.

Okay.

Insane. What would you have done if you had your pitcher with 6 outs left in a perfect game? Yes. Give him—

Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.

Chris again.

Hey, it's Chris again. I'm calling because my dad referenced Clayton McCullough. He said Scott McCullough. He meant Clayton McCullough. He said Scott McCullough. He's talking about the Marlins. We want to know if you would have done the same thing as Clayton McCullough with this big Marlins controversy on Sunday. Call me back.

Thanks, please stay on the line.

You're welcome.

Love hold music.

Put it on the poll, Juju, @LevitarShow. Do you love hold music? It's the first time I've heard anybody say that. That's unfortunate.

It's very exciting.

Look, he's reading it. I'm sorry, this person is not available.

He's a busy man.

I'll send him a text.

Uh, that's fine, we'll get back to him. Tony, how did your excursion over to the Heat Store, uh, go? Were you able to get in there? They don't allow filming in there, right?

They don't, but we do, so we were able to go in there and, and look. Obviously, as you see, I'm empty-handed, but I did have some information. I'd like you to, uh, to watch our little package here. Here the store has just opened. We're gonna go see if we can find any Giannis Antetokounmpo 34 jerseys. We're gonna try and find those here at the Heat store. Hopefully we have some good luck. If not, uh, maybe the Heat got to him before we did.

I don't know.

All right, I was just told by, uh, by Heat Brass that 34 is gone. There's no 34s. I'm going to see if maybe they left one in the back behind a Heat BAM 83.

Hmm.

Hmm. The Heat do a pretty good job of erasing their mistakes quickly. I've got a funny story to tell you guys about something that happened one time with them.

I'm not going to say Sources told me that there was a long conversation late at night, and under the cloak of darkness, they took all the 34s to an undisclosed location. We don't know where the 34s are. We don't know how we can get our hands on them. They're completely gone. So, we're gonna have to continue looking for them then.

This is a true story, and I don't know how it is that they do this. I've told this story before, and it's a little bit crazy. Mickey Arison came on our show, which was at the time just a live radio show. So if you were gonna get anything from our show, it wasn't quite as clippable or as available as it might otherwise be. There was just a couple of places to get it. You either got it live when it happened on the radio, or we were just at the time beginning the podcasting venture. So there were ways to get it via podcast, although largely it was mostly just a radio show. We were interviewing Heat owner Mickey Arison. And, uh, at the time I was asking him some form of how is it that you make sure that, uh, Chris Bosh doesn't leave, uh, the Miami Heat after, uh, LeBron James was leaving the Miami Heat. And his response was unfortunate in that he sort of said, well, what, I don't have any control over any of what these people end up doing. We're not in the times of slavery. And so when he said that, like, I winced, and it was obviously a bad thing to say.

And then all of a sudden, no one could get our podcast. Like, it wasn't sound that could go anywhere. No one had the sound. The sound vanished. I couldn't call up our podcast. All of a sudden— now, I don't know what happened. It's a complete mystery what happened. That sound never again saw the light of day. It just vanished into thin air. And so I imagine when the number 34 jersey goes out and the Heat are embarrassed by the fact that Antetokounmpo isn't wearing number 34 anymore, what ends up happening there, Zazz, is an assortment of Heat employees are made to know that those jerseys are not to be seen by anyone ever again, that those jerseys are put in an incinerator. I don't know, there may have been somebody, there may have been bodies cremated last night in South Florida that had a bunch of Antetokounmpo 34 jerseys in there because of the heat just making that vanish.

Dan, they have one guy who's the heat guy when it comes to funerals and velorios and whatnots, and all of a sudden they made the call, "Oye Pepe, te traigo algo." And then all of a sudden, black duffel bag show up, black truck. He puts them in.

Lights it up, gone.

Are you concerned at all that that's what's about to happen to this episode since you told that story?

Uh, yeah, probably. Harvey Keitel in The Fixer shows up and they go to a junkyard of some sort, and then, uh, yeah, Mr. Wolf shows up.

Pulp Fiction.

Yes, what did I say?

In The Fixer.

Uh, oh, I called it In The Fixer instead of— as, as The Fixer. He showed up as The Fixer in Pulp Fiction.

Yes, man doesn't know movies.

Uh, thank you. Uh, what can you tell me about Pulp Fiction?

I love Pulp Fiction.

My favorite movie.

I actually watched it. Uh, I love that song, the dance song, um, uh, you know, with, uh, Travolta and what's her name dancing. Yeah, Uma Thurman. Used to love her, that kind of thing. Big scene.

You really petered out there.

No, no, it's, it's that kind of thing.

Okay, you petered out again.

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Exactly.

Tony, you know that moment at a party or a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

I know it well.

It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo.

I walk in like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night.

It has that effect on people.

It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, It's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering, "Keep it Cuervo!" Keep it Cuervo, baby!

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Dan Levitar.

I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public.

Greg Cody.

Don't do it.

This is the Dan Levitar Show.

Ron McGill is there with us and we will get to him in just a second. We've got an assortment of things to ask him, but before we do that, Greg, can you give us your top 5 list of what you believe to be your strengths.

Uh, sure.

Beginning with, uh, number 5. Any OLIs, or you just, uh—

No, I, uh, I follow the rules. You said 5, I got 5.

All right, number 5, Greg Cody strength: Miami Herald sports columnist. Uh, so writing.

Yeah. Number 4: Greg Cody Show podcast host. Number 3, loyal as shit. Number 2, 8-time PFPI champion.

How many in the modern era?

Uh, a couple.

You're a bit of a storied franchise. You're like the Celtics. You won them back in the— a lot of them back in the '50s and '60s.

They didn't go away.

And the number 1, Greg Cody strength.

Okay, in retrospect In fact, this should have been number 2 and PFI champion should have been number 1. But number 1, loving husband and father. Not quite as funny as 8-time PFI champion, I will admit.

Yeah, that order would have been better.

I noticed comedy's not on the list.

Yeah, that's number 6.

Ron McGill is with us. We have told you in the past there have been no greater contributors to the Ron McGill Substantive Endowment than the listeners of this radio show. He is now retired, but he is still doing all of the same things without all of the same headaches, uh, for the zoo, uh, as he continues to curate, uh, the endowment, uh, that is his life's work, that is going to be part of his legacy. And we will tell you again, all of that money that doesn't go to his wife and buying her clothes and cars goes directly to charity without any bureaucracy. It's, uh, and when I say charity, it's to help wildlife with conservation efforts that Ron McGill is committed to. And I've seen some some of that work firsthand. He makes the dollars go a long way to help with a lot of animals throughout the animal kingdom. Let's get to some of these videos here. Ron, when I was with you in Africa, we had a couple of— I'm going to call them incidents— with elephants much larger than this one. But here is an elephant calf, and let's play this video for Ron.

Give us some play-by-play here, Ron.

Oh yeah, this is a guy who thinks he's a lot bigger than he is, but he's very close to an adult.

Adult.

They are these, these young guys are, they're incredibly bold and they get really full of themselves. And this is the guy— this happened to us out there, you know, we had these young elephants, they put out their ears, they threaten, they charge, but they never leave far away from one of the adults. As soon as the adults walk away, man, they run right— oh wait, wait, don't go, don't go, please, please, they're so cute.

Uh, but a coward? Uh, not, not really.

Not a coward. He's kind of sowing his oats. It's kind of like in The Lion King, you know, when I Can't Wait to Be King goes And then all of a sudden Mufasa goes like, "Roar!" And that's when you get to feel it.

Ron, the elephant is an odd looking animal, no?

Yeah. You know, it's certainly got some strange features to it, absolutely, but it's still incredible.

Is it the biggest ears in the animal kingdom? In my childhood, I had a Chihuahua and we entered a contest in Miramar and finished in second place longest ears. We finished second to a rabbit. Thank you for asking. There were only two competitors in the contest, so the Chihuahua finished last. Technically, but second place. Are there larger ears than the elephants anywhere in the animal kingdom?

No, the African elephant has the largest ears, external ears, of any, uh, any animal.

Ron, I have a question here from our YouTube chat. They're asking, what's the most creative way animals deal with intense heat?

Um, well, vultures poop on themselves. They poop all over their legs. As the poop dries off and evaporates, it cools them off. That's kind of an interesting way to cool yourself off.

It's the way I do it.

Yeah, it does work.

Let's see some more video here. You tell me what this man on a snowmobile, uh, should be feeling as he's trying to chase off a bear. This is crazy.

He's stupid is what he is. Assuming, assuming this is, this is not AI, um, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking to say, hi guys, thinking it's AI because, uh, that's okay.

So how uncommon or rare would that be? I can't tell.

I say it's not AI.

Okay, I don't think that that's not AI, man.

Well, okay, I don't want to argue about this this way. Let's pretend for the purposes of this video that we haven't been fooled by artificial intelligence. Is this something that's in any way feasible?

It's feasible. Certainly feasible. But look, look at the shadow of the bear and look at the shadow of the snowmobile. They don't match. Okay.

Because they're different shapes.

I don't want to do this.

Oh, no, it's not that they're different shapes. There should be a shadow to the right of the snowmobile, like there's a shadow to the right of the bear.

Ron, I'm being told it's it's not AI, you can continue to dispute it, but it sort of ruins the premise of what it is that we're doing. And it may indeed be fake, but they're telling me it's not fake. So entertain the idea that it's real.

Okay, entertain the idea that it's real. Then it might be a captive bear, one of these, you know, movie bears that they use for different things. Um, nobody would be following that bear with a camera. When that bear turns around, the guy with the camera is right No, nobody is that stupid.

You refuse to entertain whether or not this is real. And I'm asking you to tell me about the dangers of the bear in this situation, because it's not really dangerous.

It's incredibly dangerous. It's incredibly dangerous. Incredibly stupid. Incredibly dangerous. That is a grizzly bear. That is not a black bear. It's a grizzly bear. And it's incredibly dangerous what that person is doing. A movie bear. Ron could be a movie bear.

Ron, I believe we've done this with only a football team. I want you to make a soccer team full of animals.

Oh geez, I, I don't know. Uh, soccer team, they'd have to be really quick. I'd still have to go with a cheetah. I'd have to go with a rabbit. A jackrabbit would be great. Jackrabbit would be fantastic.

The ball is bigger than the jackrabbit. The jackrabbit's not moving the ball down the field. The jackrabbit's gonna have all sorts of difficulties. Like, it's not gonna move like Pulisic out there. Let's go, let's go from the back. First of all, who's your goalkeeper? Is it the gorilla?

No, the orangutan. Okay, bigger arms, much bigger arms.

Yeah, but not as tall. They might have some trouble like getting up on—

you have 8-foot arms, you just put them above your head, Dan.

Better than Matt Fries.

Okay, so fine, an orangutan. How about backline defenders? You want the gold box protected by— and you don't want animals that penalize, you don't want people who are clumsy or animals, creatures that are clumsy that are gonna knock people over. Who's your backline defense?

Oh geez, I'm gonna go with a cheetah.

Yeah, so just speed, you're going all speed. We're not a very physical team.

No, not— you get physical, you get called fouls, and you just told me no fouls. You told me no foul, so this is all speed. It's all speed.

That really peed it out.

What's the next position, Dan? Next position?

I don't know. Midfield, uh, you got midfield, and then you got strikers, you got wings and, and, and forwards.

Okay, midfield, I'm going to go with greater kudus. Greater kudus, yeah, big antelope, big antelope.

Because?

Well, because they're fast, they're tall, they got big horns which they can use to head the ball really well. I mean, those horns could hit it like a baseball bat.

What formation are we playing?

5-4-1.

Wow.

Didn't expect that.

How about your strikers?

They're going to be impalas. Definitely impalas.

Okay, so—

Quick?

Yeah, I've got a lot, but my team's small, right? You're not going with any of the big animals. You don't—

No, they're not quick enough. They're not quick enough. Soccer is a fast sport. Okay? Rhinos are not quick. Elephants are not quick. Hippos are not quick. Antelope are quick. And when you got a set of horns like that and you're heading the ball, man, it's like a— that's a Babe Ruth baseball bat.

So how about, uh, who's Haaland? Who is the, the quick, uh, tall, tall creature that is gonna be able to jump over people for head balls?

Eland.

Eland.

What?

What?

Erling Haaland. I don't know what animal that is. What it— what that— what is an eland?

The eland is the largest antelope in the world, has good set of horns, and can jump 6 feet straight up in the air without taking a step.

Yeah, I've been looking up the kudu, the impala, and the eland, and they all look exactly the same to me, the layman.

So what—

they look exactly the same. So what are the differences between these animals? Because it— this team does look like you've made it up of clones.

I have not made it up of clones. Come on, guys, are you really looking— you're saying the impala looks like the eland?

Are you serious?

Are these all just the boring animals at the zoo?

No, put it on the—

they're not boring animals. These are fast animals.

The ones you go to, you're like, all right, I'm going to go to the next thing.

Wow, I want a giraffe up front. Who's gonna stop that header?

Oh, there we go. Or a head ball, as Dan said.

Giraffe is very slow, okay? Very slow. Watch a giraffe swing its neck. It's very slow. Watch a kudu. Watch an eland jump. Watch a cheetah run.

The giraffe's head balls are gonna go 40 feet over the goal.

That's true.

Quite the angle down, but look at that impala.

Look at the curl in the horns. It's perfect for the ball. You could almost use it like a cesta. All right, on to the next one.

Let's look at another video here. Explain to me what is happening here. Give us some play-by-play. Is the elephant— the elephant, not the orangutan— is the elephant here saving? How smart is this animal? Is it actually saving an impala from drowning?

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Elephants are incredibly intelligent, and I feel they have empathy, they have compassion, and they Yes, that's exactly what that elephant is doing. Absolutely.

What is the most moving thing like that that you have seen in the wild, where you have seen, uh, the, uh, elephant, uh, be gentle? You've told us about seeing grieving elephants. You've told us about, uh, elephants that mourn, uh, their dead. Uh, but what is the most compassionate act you've seen in the wild, which can be very cruel?

Compassionate? I don't know. I mean, uh, You know, I've seen that with elephants, but I've seen like with primates, I've seen, you know, I've seen baboons, which normally are just not my favorite animal, but I've seen them with youngsters and other baboons coming up and offering, you know, to groom the youngster and to stroke the youngster and even share food sometimes with the youngster. So I've seen that kind of community effort to make the, you know, the troop stronger, see some compassion that way. And on the flip side, you know, when an animal dies, You see, you see the sadness, you see the mourning. I've seen mothers carry their dead infants around for, for days, days, refusing to believe they've died.

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Dan Levitar!

This is the quickest it goes! Hey, this is the quickest it goes!

Greg Cody!

Everybody, this is the quickest it goes!

Yeah!

This is the Dan Levitar Show!

What is your issue with the baboon? What is your— the nature of your beef with the baboon?

Baboons?

Baboons are chill.

Best.

They're like dirty little people that bite, and they, uh, they, they, they can be aggressive. They can be, you know, really nasty in a lot of ways. I, I'm not a big fan of baboons, uh, in the wild, especially in places like Southern Africa where they become so accustomed to people. They'll jump in your vans, they'll steal your food. They'll, you know, if you go to even in restaurants, you go to restaurants in places even like Cape Town, and these baboons will come up, up to your table and take your food. It's It's just, it's, they're heathens. That's what it is. They're heathens.

Ron, uh, can you tell me when, speaking of sad animals, can you describe for the audience this particular sad animal? What is the nature of this sad animal here?

Ah, this is an animal that just watched the USA get flogged by Belgium.

How many chins do you see?

Oh no, you went after your dad's double chin. That is mean.

That's a neck under there. It's not another chin.

It's a couple of them.

Damn, those baboons, they got that nasty little butt, you know what I'm talking about? They got like that nasty butt.

They do.

What do you mean?

Most primates do have a very kind of exposed pink, sometimes brightly colored red and purple butt, depending. You look at the mandrill, the mandrill, look at the mandrill's butt. That's a good butt.

Barber mandrill.

That's a nasty butt.

Not pauber mandrill, barber mandrill.

Best butts in the animal kingdom.

Let's look at another video here. The orangutan. Can you explain to me what is happening here? This animal evidently has decided to learn from its keepers here, and they clean up after leaving. And so he's decided now that he's washing his hands. Is that something that he's just learning from the people there?

Yeah, he's learned that from watching, learned behavior from watching other people do it. And he could very well enjoy it too. I mean, it's just something, you know, everybody has their thing. Same thing with orangutans. We've seen, listen, we had an orangutan here that I watched. He watched the keeper open a lock with a key, and then he took a stick stick, and he tried to use it as a key to open the lock. That's how intelligent they are.

This is like when my daughter tries to help me with the dishes. It's like she thinks she's helping, but you're not really doing anything here. I could do this a lot quicker without you.

Can you give me the smart rankings on animals? The dolphin is number one, correct, of all of the animals?

The dolphin and the chimpanzee are kind of neck and neck. They're, they're right next to each other. Dolphins and chimpanzees, probably the most intelligent. So many of the cetaceans, the whales, the porpoises, they're incredibly intelligent animals that we just don't know enough about yet. But then You go to the elephant right after that. I think the elephant is incredibly intelligent. You know, some of the canines, the wolves, of course, the domestic dogs, they're very intelligent, very pack-oriented, very community-oriented. The orangutan. Yeah. The octopus. The octopus is an intelligent animal that, you know, has gotten a lot of publicity lately, especially after that movie came out. You know, My Friend the Octopus or something like that.

But Ron, can you I'm sorry, Mike, can you put like it into context when you say these are smart animals? Like the dolphin?

Oh, like a chimpanzee. A chimpanzee, a dolphin, you know, can easily have the intelligence of a 6, 7-year-old child. Probably more so when it comes to the intricacies of communication, their vocabulary to each other. When I'm talking about the cetaceans now, the porpoises, the dolphins, the whales, very, very intricate communications that they have. Elephants are the same way. They make different sounds that we can't even hear that they use to communicate communicate with each other. So that, that level of intelligence is probably higher than, you know, than most children.

Ron, we were in Wyoming recently and had private guided tours to Grand Teton and Yellowstone. And one of the sights I saw that almost brought me to tears, it surprised me. We were about 15 feet from a small herd of bison, including majestic males who must have weighed like £2,500 or something. What is it?

Pretty close there, Greg. That's pretty close.

Yeah, what is an animal in the wild that is able, just the sight of it, to make you the most emotional?

Oh, it just depends on the— there's that mandrill butt. I told you that was beautiful, right?

So that's it? That's your selection? That moves you to tears, seeing the mandrill's butt?

No, that's not what moves me. No, no, no, no, no. I guess that the animal that moved me to tears was the mountain gorilla. When I saw a mountain gorilla face to face the first time up in the volcanoes of Rwanda, I, I did cry.

Didn't you have one of those breathe on you? Didn't you? Weren't you close enough to, to—

I did. It sat right next to me and actually took its lips and tugged on my earlobe.

Wow.

Did you get the chills?

Terrifying.

It was goosebumps. It wasn't terrifying, it was, it was majestic. Listen, my favorite saying in the world is life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, it's measured by the number of times your breath is taken away. And that was one of those breathtaking moments.

Uh, Greg, why did you feel the need to say it was a a private guided tour when a tour would have sufficed. Like, just saying that you went on a tour would have sufficed, but you needed to make it both a private and guided tour.

Yeah.

And not a very bright guide, I will tell you, because 15 feet breaks the law because you're not supposed to be closer than 25 feet to any bison in any national park.

I may have erred in saying— for dramatic effect, I may have erred in saying 15 feet. It might have been 25.4 feet. Feet. I don't know.

Okay.

But we were in a sturdy vehicle. We were in no danger, unlike some—

Oh, so you're in a vehicle.

Private implies that it's just your group. Like if you're on a tour, a bigger tour, there could be other groups with you, whereas private tour—

You made it sound like a rich man safari. You were eating broccolini the entire time. Like you made it sound like it was really—

Actually, it was a Dan Levitart safari.

You made reference to a private safari.

No, I—

I did not call it a private guided tour. Well, it was.

It was my wife and I and a guy in a vehicle.

And the couple you swing with.

Yeah, it was a private tour. What can I tell you?

Super private.

It's the three of us, John.

Your son just accused you of being a swinger. Did you not hear your son?

Who was swinging with the tour guide? What are you talking about?

Let's go to one more video here in Thailand. Tell me what is happening here, Ron, with this tourist and Oh, the praying mantis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That serves you right, you stupid twit. Whoa, what do you—

oh, she's got a mantis in her hair.

That's right. Oh my God, that's right.

What is that? What, what?

It's a mantis. It went into her hair because she was provoking and trying to intimidate the mantis, and now she probably urinated on herself.

Oh my God.

Uh, Ron, I never see this side of you except when it comes to human beings being dumb about animals. I don't think you need to be calling her stupid.

I don't like people. Yeah, because you know why? Why is she intimidating? Why is she trying to tantalize that praying mantis? Why doesn't she just leave it alone?

Right on.

It's a mostly inoffensive term for foolish, silly, or an annoying person. Kind of fits.

Twit.

There you go. Thank you very much.

I was scared of where he was headed there.

So was I.

When he got to twit, I was relieved. Twit seemed far more benign than where I thought he was headed. I thought we were going to see a side of Ron McGill that none of us wanted to see. That would have been the last time we would have seen Ron McGill in any form. See you later, Ron. Good talking to you. Even though he offends tourists and yells at innocent human beings who have dared to bother an insect, and even though he—

You're molesting that animal, okay? You're harassing that animal. You're just being a jerk. Wait. A twit.

Wait, but—

Ron Waittwitty.

I know what— When he says molesting an animal, I know what he's doing there. He's speaking in Spanish first. Molestando.

That's exactly right.

I know, but molesting, it has a sexual connotation in English. Molesting does.

You guys are always in the gutter. Okay? You're always in the gutter. Always, always in the gutter.

I was with you, Dave.

In Spanish, molestando is not something that's sexual. I know, I know. But in English, molesting is something that has a sexual undercurrent. So you made it sound in saying she was molesting an animal that when I— don't you guys think when you think of molesting, Doesn't it have sexual undercurrents to you in English?

Where's my twit twit?

Oh God.

See you later, Ron. Good talking to you. Thank you. Pleasure seeing you. He had that one lined up and that's just where he was going. He was going to where's my twit twit? And he wasn't listening to anything I was saying. You see the vigorous, the vigorous swig he just took because he's very proud of himself. As I sense your disgust, what is happening with the way that you're looking at Greg Cody right now? Look how pleased he is with himself.

Jason Twitler. Chris Twittingham. Twitty, right?

The Yankee. Conway Twitty. Conway Twitty. Can you guys look up for me, please, uh, just the reference that he's making there on Conway Twitty? Give me what he's famous for and give me the time period that Conway Twitty was famous. I've told you guys this before. This is a signature way of aging for old sportswriters. It's something Kornheiser does all the time as a joke. You give him a word and he'll just mention somebody from the '50s whose name sounds a little bit like that.

So, Twitty Bang Bang. Great movie. Great film.

It's not a great film.

Great, great movie.

All right. Look it up for me, please, Jeremy. Twitty Bang Bang. What year was that film? And give me any and all information you have on Conway Twitty.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was a family musical from 1968 starring Dick Van Dyke. Yep, 100 years old.

Tell you what, much higher on Rotten Tomatoes than I would have thought.

Thank you.

70%.

It's a classic.

And Conway Twitty, of course his real name is Harold Lloyd Jenkins, uh, he's known Noyn, known for— damn, Noyn, I'm powering through—

the rockabilly scene in the '50s.

Duet with Loretta Lynn, country singer.

That's what he's Noyn for.

Great singer. I was on an airplane once and he had— back when you had tickets, I got the seat folder in front of me, there was a Conway Twitty ticket. In other words, he had occupied my seat on the plane before me. Lifetime career highlight for me.