Transcript of JuJu's Top 5 Gas Station Snacks | Postgame Show

Where are you guys on the gas station snacks? Uh, Chris Cody, uh, I don't mean to single you out, uh, but where is it that you go if you're in a gas station? What is the most tempting of the items to you when you go into a gas station?

I would say, you know, I've had different times in my life. You know, I had a chip phase, I had a honey bun phase. Right now I'm in the, uh, Reese's Department. I like variations. I do the Fast Break bar. Sometimes I'll get the old school cups. I would say I'm in a Reese's phase right now.

How about the rest of you? Roy, do you have a, uh, Damashek? Do you have a— and Mike, do you have a gas station weakness?

Well, not including the drinks, obviously, but, uh, going with snacks, I'll go with chips. They have a good chip there called the Ruffles queso flavor. That's really good.

I thought he was gonna be like the blue Dorito.

That was an upset.

No, it's not upset.

I, I, I've never seen you pass it up.

I have a broad taste.

Okay.

All right. Congrats on your I'm gonna give you a little bit of credit for, you know, improving over the years.

Improving over the years?

Yeah, you— dude, all right, I'm not gonna do this with you. You're a Cool Ranch Dorito guy. That's what you do.

I eat more than that.

You're a Cool Ranch Dorito guy.

I'm a connoisseur. Okay.

Don't put them in a box.

I mean, I'm, I'm glad to hear that the spectrum has widened.

I've thought from your breath that you brush your teeth with Cool Ranch Doritos.

See, now that's not fair. I have fresh breath, man. Come on now.

That's a HIPAA violation.

Hey, Juju.

Roy, you're a progressive guy.

Yes.

You try— only recently have I discovered their existence and my life has changed. The Taki.

Are you—

No.

Do you know the Taki?

Yes, I know the Taki.

It's a Dorito, but it's rolled up.

Yes. I don't know why the crunch is way better that way. I don't know what it is, why it works that way. I just am glad it exists.

And the flavor?

Well, I don't know. Are there various Taki flavors? I'm a newbie.

Yeah, there's even a blue one.

I have seen the blue one. That tries too hard in my book.

Let's go out to Juju here for some help. First of all, and I just— can you settle this for us? The Black Mild, is it a cigarette, a cigarillo, or is it a cigar?

That's definitely a cigar, man, and especially in the streets. Come on, man, that's a Cuban. Where I come from, you puffing the good stuff.

Oh, Two Americas, okay.

Yeah, off the board. The answer is it's a Black Mild, dummy.

Uh, do you have for us, uh, before we get to the polls, do you have any opinions on the gas station snacks?

Yes, sir, man, of course I do, man. I got a top 5 gas station snack list right now coming to you live.

Look at that.

O-L-I, big O-L-I, and I'm sorry to do this, Roy, the Doritos.

How dare you, sir.

Don't worry, don't be sorry. He's already moved on apparently.

Right, and Doritos, they owe a lot simply because I don't care if it's June, March, 8 AM, 9 PM, once you pop them Doritos, your breath gonna be on Doritos for a good hour, bruh, no matter what. And that includes barbecue Fritos.

That is why I said this about, uh, Roy. He brushes his teeth with Cool Ranch toothpaste.

Number 5, Haribo gummy bears. Come on now.

My daughter loves these.

Bruh, I'm talking about in the streets, that gold bag, oh my God, that's more valuable than Willy Wonka bars in my hood. You got to know. Number 4, another one, I'm talking about platinum in the hood. Platinum in the streets. Pop these open, you might have 5 people run up on you asking for a couple hot fries. Those are very good.

Uh, put this on the poll for tomorrow, okay? The Haribo gummy bears, are they more popular in the hood than the Willy Wonka bars? Just for tomorrow.

Number 3, and this is why I include both Americas. Both Americas can enjoy these. Peanut M&M's.

Always good.

Not in the car though. No, too much chocolate driving around in a hot car.

Yeah, I got— but look, the thing about these snacks is once you give them to me, they got a good 10 minutes of survival time with me. I don't play around with my snacks. Them things are out of here.

They're not gonna melt. There's not gonna be time for those to melt no matter how hot it is.

Oh no. Number 2, another one of both Americas, the beef jerky.

That's very high. I'm really surprised. Yeah, I'm surprised that that's that high.

Yes sir. You can also go turkin' jerk, and you can also go chicken jerk. You dig it? Because I don't like too much of the, the beef, you know. I'm trying to get my prostate right, so I go turkin' jerk on them boys. You got to know. And the number 1 snack The heavyweight champion of the hood, the white America, the black America, all the Americas— honey buns! Come on, man, can't beat it with a hammer. If I send you to—

I absolutely love them, they just make me feel so fat after I've eaten them.

I just can't do it anymore.

Exactly, just because, just like, uh, Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson Eat too many of them Honey Buns, your ass gonna die. They gonna kill you.

What is that? I've never seen that in my life.

It's a donut.

A packaged donut with like the circular—

You've never seen a Honey Bun?

A jumbo Honey Bun? I've never seen that in my life.

What's its flavor?

We understand.

Honey?

Look, we gotta get my boy Dave one of those. We gonna get you a Honey Bun before you leave Miami, bruh. And let us know how you feel about it.

I mean, Chris Cody just told you before. Go ahead, Juju.

Go ahead, brother. Sorry about that. We will have one tomorrow, Breezy. I understand there's 2 Americas. You explained the other side of America earlier, how the broadcasting work, and I think the taste buds might work that way too, bruh. So trust me, I got you.

We'll get you one tomorrow and you'll have it on air.

What goes on? I don't wanna—

I don't think Cheetos deserves to claim both the puffy thing and then also the crunchier, bumpier, thinner. Well, choose one or the other. Which are you, Cheeto?

Right?

No.

Yes, sir.

No.

Hey, I kinda like that though. I like it because you're right. If somebody— if I say, bro, can you bring me some Cheetos? And they bring me some puffy ball puffs, I'm like, oh, you brought the wrong thing. You can't call this a Cheeto. I want the crunchy hard guy puffs.

Same.

You dig? So yeah, I agree.

I feel like only kids like the puffs. Like, once you get to be an adult, you have the crispy one.

Juju nailed it though. Hey, get me some Cheetos.

Then I have to follow up with, which kind do you want? Choose one or the other. One or the other. Can't be all things to everybody.

You're against options?

I like options. I don't like Cheeto trying to corner the market by saying we're everything. Well, we're the puffy ones. We're the— yeah, I believe you're picking up what I'm laying down.

Roy, just end the show by just isolating what he just did there right in the middle. I want that to be the last of the show. Damechek, a thought trying to escape Damechek. Shek's lips and stumbling as it got near the mustache. Uh, Juju, let's update these polls at Levitard Show. Uh, how many polls? What kind of poll, uh, wattage did we have today?

We got 3 gigawatts, Dano, on the polls. Uh, first poll, does everyone like free stuff? 92% of the audience says yes, they do.

Nico, yeah, I'm, I'm—

yeah. Speaking of free stuff, My Philadelphia 76ers signed Taco Fall, free agent. I can't wait to see how this is gonna go. Next, next poll: is being banned from Titan stuff a punishment or a reward? 87% of the audience says that's a reward.

Nico, you're up. Yeah, I'm up.

I'm here.

And before I read this last poll, salute to Dustin White from Twitter for reminding me that my list yesterday left off An egregious show. I can't believe I left it off. Lanterns. Oh my God. Watch it. And last poll, is a Black Mild a cigarette? 79% of the audience says no. And those are your polls.

Nico, you're on mute.

Thank you, Juju.

Thank y'all.

I like options. I don't like Cheeto trying to corner the market by saying we're everything. Whoa, whoa, we're the puffy ones. We're the— I believe you're picking up what I'm laying down.