Transcript of Dan Calls Noah Eagle An Annoying Asshole | Hour 2

Come on! Woo! Come on!

Woo!

Come on! Woo!

I mean, the NBA's gonna do their job.

Come on!

None of us did no wrongdoing.

Woo! Come on! We have nothing to hide.

Woo!

It's on me. Come on! Pretty cool. Woo! Pretty damn cool. Come on! Woo!

Podcast.

Come on, Pablo's Podcast.

Wow, come on, wow, come on, wow, come on, wow.

With nothing to hide, I love this company. Yes, Pablo!

This episode of The Dan Levitart Show, presented by DraftKings Sports. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Take it away, Dan.

I had no idea you were reading there. I have never met our next guest. I have never talked to him. I will tell everyone publicly, I find him terribly annoying. It is not right or fair that someone this young would be this good at what it is that he does. It's nonsense, uh, completely inexplicable, even though he learned at the knee of a lord in this realm. He's an Emmy Award-winning broadcaster, play-by-play voice for Big Ten Saturday Night on NBC, NBC Sports, play-by-play voice for NBC Sports NBA coverage, host and play-by-play announcer for the Tennis Channel, lead play-by-play announcer for Netflix's broadcast of the Rams-49ers game in Melbourne, first ever in Australia, Thursday, September 10th, kickoff at 8:35 PM. Noah Eagle, how old are you?

I am, uh, 29, but my fake ID from college would say I'm 32.

Asshole. I mean, it's just wrong. It's just wrong that you've had this much success. When did you know that you were good at this? Like, when did you know that you were good enough at this to do it professionally?

Not until at least college. And I mean, I've told the story many times before, but growing up, I always said I wanted to be a TV dentist, which is not a real thing. I thought Dr. Phil filling a molar would entertain people. And then I realized nobody wants to watch that over Maury Povich or Jerry Springer. So it clearly did not have the, the legs and staying power that I hoped it would, but I decided to pivot and I got into college and eventually this was, uh, this was the path.

How often have you been awed that you've arrived at something and you just can't believe that you've already arrived there?

Almost, almost every day. Yeah, almost every day. I mean, you guys just played that incredible edit through and I was wondering how quickly we could get to the, the Pablo Torre deserved victory lap, but it really started I would say when I got there right after that Steve Ballmer pretty cool press conference with Clippers and basically every event that I've gotten since then, I feel that way.

When did your voice get like that?

Yeah, I actually vividly remember there was a moment I would say I was in 7th grade and I walked around school one day and there was a kid that was there. His name's Cole. Just had a kid. Shout out, Cole. And I remember—

Not in 7th grade.

Your voice dropped.

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, literally 5 seconds ago he just had a kid. So congrats on the sex. I would say that he literally said, oh, you went through puberty. I was like, overnight? He's like, yeah, yeah, I hear it. I'm like, okay. So from that point on, I would say 13 years old. Son of a bitch.

All right. So does your dad say to you, hey, I'm still better than you at this?

Yeah, I would say he doesn't have to. It's just what sometimes what's known doesn't have to be said. What's obvious doesn't have to be said. But I'm striving for that. It's like what McConaughey said. He's chasing that ghost of him in 10 years. Mine just exists, and I have to chase it on a daily basis, which is tough.

I also work with my dad, and I love making fun of him. What do you make fun of your dad about?

Well, my dad tends to follow a lot of what I do, so I start using a product in my hair and he goes, what is that? Well, let me, let me see if I can get on that. Or I change my glasses. He goes, Let me see what I— are those gonna work for me? So I think that it's more so just he tries to be, yeah, you see that right there? I had those glasses first and then he decided, yeah, I'm gonna steal that look as well. So I don't know, it's more of, I think he follows me from a livelihood perspective and then I follow him from a broadcasting perspective, which is actually a nice balance. So I'm gonna take the win.

Put us in your home growing up. What are you learning around the house and what are you hearing around the house What was it about him that makes it so that you know that you want to do this forever?

Yeah, in terms of the actual job itself, it's more so just sitting in his office while he would prepare for games. There was a leather chair that our dog would, for whatever reason, had an infatuation with. And so it probably wasn't the most sanitary chair, but I decided I would sit in the corner and watch him. He had a desk on the left side of his office, then he had like a floating desk on the right side. And a TV on the other corner. And I would sit in the one corner and just kind of watch him. I would sift through media guides when those actually existed and read about Marcus Tuiasa-Sopo because that was a fun Tuesday for me. And he just enjoyed the job. Like, I saw every day he would wake up and be excited about his work. But in terms of what I actually learned, I tell this to people all the time that are trying to get into broadcasting or really anything in life.

He—

I, I didn't even consciously know this, but he was absolutely forcing me into a well-rounded individual. Because I was a kid and I'd say, you know, I want to watch SpongeBob. And he goes, yeah, you can watch SpongeBob after you finish this episode of Diff'rent Strokes. And I was like, what's Diff'rent Strokes? Why do I need to watch it? But he forced it. I watched all of that, and then I watched all of SpongeBob. And it honestly was the best thing for me because You mentioned I got into these positions at a young age and I get to work with a variety of people, variety of backgrounds, variety of ages. But I've got random knowledge that I can pull from, which has ended up being really helpful for me. So I always tell people to do the same thing. Force your kids to watch things they don't want.

How have you experienced the last 12 hours or so as somebody— or I guess 16 hours— as somebody who used to work for the Clippers?

Yes, definitely interesting for me. I was there for the Media Day press conference when Aspiration was introduced. I was there when Joe Sandberg was very much in the building. So that was— I think as all of this has unfolded, it has been fascinating. I was asked a question almost a year ago at this point of who do I trust the most between Steve Ballmer, Pablo Torre, and Uncle Dennis. And I said, well, I can tell you who I trust the least of those 3, and that person has been suspended for 5 years. So I saw someone online compare Uncle Dennis to— what was the dude's name? Uncle Bubba from He Got Game. I would say that's, that's pretty accurate.

Let's play a quick game here. There's a photo over your left shoulder, and Dan, you go first. Who do you think that is? It's a turquoise background, a crowd cheering, and a lone basketball player gesturing in some way to the crowd. It's a blue uniform. If I can see—

Is that a white guy in a Knicks uniform? I can't tell what the uniform is.

You are so blind.

I'm thinking college. I can't see it.

It's not Pablo Prigioni in the Garden.

No.

Oh, I thought it was Nick Collins.

It's a very famous shot.

Okay, I'm sorry, because now that they've moved it up, okay, the sleepy gesture, that's Steph Curry. Now I see it's an Olympic uniform.

Oh, I couldn't see it.

Well, thank you.

You asked me.

You're closer than I am.

I thought it was Nick Collins.

I was gonna impress everybody. Nick Collison in a Kansas jersey? I don't know what's wrong with you. I thought it was a KU get up there.

You went Nick Collison here?

That's what you were going with?

I don't want it. I thought that's what it was.

That's the question you went with. I thought you were—

You brought it up. Hey, is that Nick Collison? Well, I wanted to talk about the Rams and 49ers, but I think I'll, I'll, I'll, uh, I'll just sit quietly.

Kawhi Leonard.

I, my, my, here's my thing. You, you legitimately thought that a guy who went to Syracuse would somehow have like a deity of Nick Collison, whom Syracuse absolutely dismantled in the national championship game. You thought that would be smart for me?

I don't know. Maybe Nick Collison's talking to you. Maybe you're, you're at the microphone right there.

Were you calling that Steph Curry game? Were you calling that?

Yes. In the background of this photo here, if you really zoom in, you can see Dwyane Wade basically on my back as I give him a piggyback ride, as we call this. Yes, Dwyane didn't decide, oh, let's let Noah just handle the moment, it'll be all good. No, he said, let me jump on his back. Yeah, you see, I'm kind of— I don't know if I'm pointing. Yep, right there, right there.

So wait, is this just a photo of you?

Yes. Well, actually, more than anybody. So you see, if I can go and point the right direction, you see me and Dwyane Wade. And then next to us, that's my statistician and football spotter, Tyler Fried, who becomes the favorite of every single— his father, Dave Fried, is Mike Breen's stat guy, legendary in the business. Tyler becomes the favorite of every single person that we work with, including Dwyane Wade.

This profession is just— it really is nepotism galore.

Oh, you stop it.

Oh, no doubt.

I mean, it's no doubt. It's so—

We don't even, we don't even try to hide it. That's the thing, Dan. We're not even trying to run away from it.

Here's my kid's stats guy.

Yes, my stats guy.

His daddy was a stats guy and his daddy's daddy was a stats guy.

Yeah, I'm 29. I got a stats guy. I got a stat.

That's right. Come on, this is my guy. The best part about this is, uh, Tyler and Dave are very well known in the industry and they have very, uh, thick Brooklyn/Long Island accents. And so there was a day in Paris when we were there that Dwayne saw him out the window And he looks out to him and he's like, hey, Tyler.

He's like, yeah.

He goes, what are you doing? He goes, go to get lunch. He goes, okay, go get me a salad. He goes, what? He goes, get me a salad. He goes, okay. So he gets him a salad, brings it back, and then he gives it to him in his room. And D-Wade's like, thanks, bro. Appreciate you. And then Tyler goes, I mean, never paid me for the salad. I go, he's taken us out to 5 steak dinners and paid for all of it. He goes, I mean, he's made, what, $200 million? He could pay me for the salad.

So that's where we're at.

Unbelievable. Your upbringing is foul.

It's odorous.

Love it.

Again, there's no disagreement here. It's an acceptance more than anything.

Down, lebatar.

Too much with the chef honorific behind. You know, I'll go, I'll go doctor, I'll go senator. I'll probably go even coach.

Dave Demachek.

But chef is where I draw the line. I'm not calling you chef. I'm calling you Gary.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

When you're talking about the Rams, as it appears that everyone is talking about the Rams, when you go Rams and 49ers, what do you find in that matchup to be the most interesting thing? The 49ers have been passed in terms of what interest is about their team, but I can assemble an argument that they've been the 2nd best team in the sport the last 10 years.

Yeah, no question. And honestly, I think that there's a legitimate argument that Kyle Shanahan had his best coaching job last season considering what they lost through the year, the injuries and everything that they dealt with, an electrical substation, whatever else you want to throw at them. They still won at a high level and had a chance to be the number 1 seed in the NFC late into the season. So I think they're intriguing, but the Rams are obviously the story right now. They're the talk of the town. Aaron Donald comes back, Myles Garrett, Trent McDuffie. You have everything in place. It's Super Bowl or bust for that team. I think the interesting thing to me that I'm curious to ask both these coaches, you have a Week 1 game on a different continent. They're doing 2 vastly different decisions. On how they want to approach traveling in. Rams going in right before, Niners spending the whole week there. But this is a division game in a division that there's just not that much wiggle room. You have the defending champions and you've got these 2 teams that feel like they're battling it out every year.

And so how do you approach an important division game that is going to be in a place that is so foreign and a place that is going to require 15-plus hours of travel? That to me is intriguing.

What do you make of, you know, professionally it's great to be making the trip over there to watch this game, but where do you come down as a fan, as much as you can be in your spot, on Week 1 having divisional matchups that are going to be critical at the end of the year to seeing who's in the postseason? I can't stand them. We've been out in the desert without football for 6 months. Just give me a cracker. That's all I need to sustain life. I don't need a filet mignon. How say you?

Yeah.

So you want the appetizer and not the full meal. I mean, look, sometimes dessert first can be great. Sometimes you want to skip right to the cookie skillet with the ice cream on top, which is what we feel like we have here. I mean, this is as great of a matchup as you're going to find, as intriguing a matchup as you're going to find. And the one thing I will say is, given what the 49ers' injury history has looked like the last couple of years and the aging level of their roster, making sure that as many of their guys are healthy as possible right away isn't the worst thing for a matchup like this in their respect, you know, for their side of things. I think that they probably feel like, okay, we're going to go in as fully loaded as we might be all year. So that's a good thing from a fan perspective is you get to see it, quote unquote, at full strength. But yes, in terms of the implications of what it might look like later in the season, if I were one of these coaches, I'm sure that I would feel a certain way.

But from a fan perspective, I honestly think it's great. You get to hit the ground running right off the rip.

If the NFC West has the least wiggle room, what division has the most wiggle room?

Most wiggle room? Probably the AFC East. I mean, you guys are in Miami. You've got 2 teams in that division right now that feel like they're not necessarily gonna be in playoff contention. I don't know how you guys feel about the Dolphins. I mean, I was there for the Malik Willis game last season in Green Bay. I love him. I love him as a quarterback. The roster doesn't feel like they're going out there to compete. The Jets roster still feels like until they have a quarterback, they're not ready to compete. The Patriots go from having one of the easiest schedules in the history of the NFL to a much more challenging road. And then the Bills, you feel like you know what they're gonna be, but I would say that's the division with the most wiggle room.

I, I'm impressed, Noah, that you have any idea what's meant by what division has the most wiggle room. I don't even know what, what means the Bills.

They have so much room for activities.

They're like, there's nothing going on in here.

Yes.

Yes.

And then they start singing, this is how we do it, before they break up— break a bunk bed. That's exactly it.

So Noah, you take that as which team that is favored to win its division has the easiest ride because of the, the neighborhood, the least push?

Has the, has the most— yeah, has, has the most ability to lose an early divisional game and still make up for it. What do you not understand?

I didn't understand what he meant by that.

Other than thinking Nick Collison was behind him, what do you not understand? I don't understand what we're doing around here.

I don't understand what's meant by wiggle room. And if the assumption is that—

so Noah, you're saying that the Bills have the greatest distance between themselves and second place?

The wiggle room?

No, no, no.

The Bills and the Patriots.

The AFC defending champs?

The Bills and the Patriots have the most wiggle room of the top 2 teams because their bottom 2 teams in theory are the furthest away from anybody else's division.

What are you not understanding here?

I don't think that makes any sense, especially when he led with the NFC West, which has the Cardinals. which are gonna have 6 or 7 fewer wins than 3rd place.

We got 3 teams though in the West in the wiggle room.

That's wiggle room.

There's wiggle room.

There's wiggle room for them. 3 teams.

They're bumping into each other in a phone booth.

Good nugg.

I think I just did like a Steph Curry on Chris Cody and put him to sleep.

Good nugg.

You can't think that you— you can't think that you did that well.

What?

Minor penalty, 2 minutes for adding nothing this year.

Wow.

I appeal this.

Put it on the poll @LeBatardShow. Sometimes dessert first can be great, yes or no? @Le BatardShow. Let's speed him up here, Roy, so I could get as much as I can from him. And Tony, I've got a theory on this. You want to see how a pro does this?

Talk to me.

My guess is that he's so good at the clock in his head that he does the announcing with, he won't go over one time when I ask him for 30 seconds on something. He won't do what Pop does.

So you have the QB clock in his head?

Oh, I'm telling you right now that this guy's going to answer every question and we're never going to hear from Steve Ballmer yelling because he knows to do what Pablo and Damashek can't. They start yammering, they forget, they get love, they love the sound of their own voice, they don't think about anything other than how great they sound. And this guy's got to hit a clock for a commercial because it's why he exists, and his daddy showed him that. Like, we exist, everything around here is paid for because you get to commercial at the correct time. That's how we've had— that's how we raise eagles around here.

Yeah, yeah. There was also the cutoff. Dinner had to be done certain time. You go over, you don't get to finish your plate. So I'm with All right.

Let's start the clock now. Noah, the Rams are somehow +500 to win the Super Bowl. Are you believing that that is possible when 20 times a team has been that and never won the Super Bowl?

Possible? Yes. Probable? That's a different question entirely. But I would tell you that they are most certainly the betting favorite on paper. So long as they stay healthy, that's the team that I would select.

What do you do with the status of the Eagles and what do you make of Jalen Hurts?

Hmm.

That's a different question. But I do think that they will take a step forward offensively, more creative play calling. Saquon Barkley has a bounce-back year. My question mark becomes in the receiving corps. It feels like they've got 2 DeVonta Smiths with he and Mekhi Lemon. So that will be intriguing. Dallas Goedert needs to step up, step up this season. Defense will still be dominant, so they'll still be very good.

The Buffalo Bills, was that their best chance for Josh Allen last year?

No, not necessarily. I mean, it was certainly the best chance they've had to this point. But I think that coming up this season, the AFC still feels incredibly wide open. There's no one team that I'm looking at and saying that's the team to beat in the AFC. So why can't it be the Bills' year this year? I know Mahomes is back and I expect Kansas City to be good. I just did the Chargers preseason. Those tackles stay healthy, they'll be intriguing. The Bills are as good as anyone in the conference. They should feel real confident.

When should we see Fernando Mendoza, by Week 4 would be what I—

that's my expectation, I should say, is when we will see him bite. Give me week 4.

Are the Steelers wasting everybody's time this season?

To a certain degree, yes. I was, I was certainly surprised that they went, hey, Mike Tomlin's not going to cut it, but Mike McCarthy will cut it. I think that's going to make sense. I mean, look, they're talented in many spots, but I don't expect them to go much further than what they've done over the last 5 years.

Preseason MVP, Noah?

Hmm.

Preseason MVP. This one I could take over 30 seconds just thinking about. I guess if I have to stamp one right now, I'll go with Josh Allen, a repeat from a couple years ago.

Wiggle room.

Perceived contender that will miss the postseason?

Ooh.

Hmm. Perceived contender that'll miss the postseason.

Wiggle room.

Yeah, give me the, give me the wiggle room to go the opposite way. Give me the, actually, you know what? The Broncos.

That's a pretty good one.

How many games do the Dolphins win, Noah?

Dolphins win 5, 4 or 5, somewhere in the 4 or 5 range. And they shouldn't win that many, but they're gonna win some late because they shouldn't win them.

Tell me as much as you know about the 49ers power plant situation that is, that is accurate in terms of injury its players.

All I know is considering the victory that Pablo Torre just had, I would send him there. If I'm the 49ers, I'm hiring him to do whatever he can do to find out as much as possible because clearly Pablo Torre finds out is more than just a name. So go and send him there and see what he can come up with. I don't know what it is, but clearly there's something amiss.

No, he did. And he said there was nothing wrong, which I completely do not believe. There's something going on.

Yeah, no, it feels like an under-the-table situation.

He talked to some doctor, some quack doctor.

I didn't like that.

He's getting Yeah.

Do you have a fantasy team?

I think 100%. Yeah. I don't trust that.

Do you have a fantasy team?

Yes.

First pick.

First pick that I took this year?

Yes.

Okay. There's one league in which you start multiple quarterbacks.

Minor penalty.

My first pick was Josh Allen.

Good choice.

Dan, that was an important question.

That's a good question.

It's a super flex league, Dan.

And then makes 2 quarterbacks. Did he go back-to-back quarterbacks or did he get better value later?

Wait a couple rounds for shock.

Thank you, Noah. Appreciate the time.

He took Malik Willis.

That's what it is. Again, September 10th kickoff, 8:35 Eastern on Thursday. It's the NFL's first-ever game in Australia. Get out of here, please, Damashek.

I— again, I love that.

I see ya.

Netflix is where you go.

Good job, Noah. Thank you.

Noah, thank you, sir. Appreciate you giving us our football fix. We'll have to have you around more often even though you are clearly an annoying asshole. Thank you, sir.

I appreciate you guys. And, uh, my dad told me to tell you guys that he still is a broadcaster.

Oh yeah, classic villain.

Dan Levitar.

What is the worst part of the life?

Jonathan Saslow.

The worst part of the life of what?

This is the Dan Levitar Show.

We have another SUI to get to as we celebrate. Uh, what is this category? What is the category that we have today that we are playing as our first SUI?

This is one of the heavy hitters here. This is Worst Mistake.

And now the SUI nominees for Worst Mistake. Roy Bellamy plays the wrong sound introducing the the 2025 SUIEs.

The 2025 SUIE Awards is presented by Miller Lite. Apologies, that is, uh, the pickle. I had that ready for—

Pickles, dog.

Yeah, we got pickles. But, uh, here's, uh, best story on the SUIEs.

Greg Cody doesn't know the Al Pacino movie Scent of a Woman.

Al Pacino. Hey, there you go.

If someone said that in his headphones, you're fired.

Whoa, nobody said that.

What movie?

Uh, Streetcar Named Desire. You ain't— you, you know, uh, you're not man enough to know the truth. Something like—

No, that's a few good men. And, and that's a few good men. You're not man enough to know the truth.

You can't handle the truth. I don't know.

It's a different movie.

Zaslav doesn't turn his microphone on.

Way to ruin the mood. Way to ruin the mood, Greg.

You gotta turn your microphone on.

Oh, he didn't turn on the mic.

Minor penalty, 2 minutes delay of show.

2 notes early.

This is—

if, if there was any validity to New Gods, boy, did you nuke your chances.

Chris Cody's limited fake Clint Eastwood in the wrong language.

He did win the Golden Globe for Best Director for Bird, for Unforgiven, for Million Dollar Baby.

And he won Best Foreign Language Film for Letters from Iwo Jima. Nice.

Iwo Jima's in Japan.

Were you saying sea like is S-E-A? That there's a sea near Japan? Like, yeah, surely you were not— you were not using Spanish for—

what do you think he was?

Why did— why did you— what happened?

I didn't hear the title of the film.

I just—

he said foreign language and I was—

Where did you think it was?

Right near Rocky Point.

I know.

I'm not gonna So you just, you just, you heard foreign language and you went with the one foreign word that you knew, which was C.

Charles Barkley can't remember the name of someone he admires.

One of my great people I admire is Derek. Damn, I forgot his name.

You admire him though. You admire him though, Chunky. Yeah, he's good.

I love him. Wait, no.

Oh, I got Derek Brooks.

New Orleans Saints quarterback Tyler Shook tells Dan the right way to say Louisville.

I don't know.

I think I gotta, I gotta really think about it. I'll probably go Louisville because that's obviously the most recent, and I have ties, I have connections, and a lot of love for all 3.

But I don't think you're saying that right. They correct me around here all the time.

You say it wrong.

You say it wrong.

No, no. How does— how do you say Louisville?

Louisville.

There you go. That's so simple.

You got peanut butter on the roof of your mouth, man. You can't—

it's not Louisville.

It's Louisville.

Thank you.

Amin El-Hassan has terrible internet.

One more chance at this, and then you're doing the rest of this on social media only.

For about half a football, I thought the Raiders were—

Get out of here.

You're gonna beat—

You're not peeking at the right time now.

Do the rest of it on social media.

Do it.

Progress.

Finish it without our help. Get out of here. You're not ruining any more of our show.

Weekend observations are presented I'm sorry.

Don't look now, but what a disgrace.

Hey, hey, I'm gonna quit my job and go work for Miller Lite.

I didn't think it was possible.

Head to head.

I didn't think it was possible to be worse than he was last week, but, and yet somehow better, because what's funnier than his first entire punchline being garbled up?

It was perfect timing for him to get cut off, honestly, from the internet.

By the internet.

Zaslav does a terrible job with the clocks.

So let me ask you something then, because maybe a similar comp— I'm gonna run out of time here. It's a poor job by me.

Hunter Pence calls Zaslav Dan.

Good job, Hunter. Thanks for hanging out with us.

Thank you, Dan.

Appreciate y'all having me.

There you go. Yes, my name is Dan.

Chris Cody isn't listening to the show.

You can make the argument, though, that the Marlins have never had anybody better, maybe Cabrera, but never had anybody better than this person, better at doing anything than this person.

Miguel Cabrera.

I said that, but he's—

he's better though.

No, I'm just saying sustained. Yeah, I meant not in the conversation.

Better sustained.

Chris Cody isn't listening to the show again.

Josh Allen's recklessness. He is less reckless.

He can still do it, but he doesn't turn over the ball as much.

Do you guys have a lot of examples Do you have any examples of a coach being able to coach the style out of a quarterback?

Wasn't Josh Allen a little more reckless than he was a few years ago?

Wow, you weren't listening at all to the show a second ago. You just—

what were you doing?

Were you thinking about cake?

I was thinking about examples like Josh Allen.

It's a good example.

It's one of the examples that I gave.

While I was thinking.

Yeah, worth reiterating.

2 examples. The most recent example that he gave. That's on me.

Zaslow doesn't know the movie Outbreak.

Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak?

Of course.

Who's in it?

Michael Rapaport, Rene Russo, Dustin Hoffman. He's patient zero. I watched that in high school. Of course I've seen it.

We have to do something here because I like the movie Outbreak, and Michael Rapaport's appearance in that movie would ruin that movie for him. So I would have thought I remembered that, and, uh, Jechtina looked He was not in that movie.

Okay, you're wrong because he 1,000% was. He's patient zero.

Dumbass. All right, the person, the character name in the movie Outbreak that got sick from the monkey initially, the white man?

Yeah.

Jimbo Scott. You know who played Jimbo Scott in the 1995 film Outbreak?

Michael Rapaport.

No, Patrick Dempsey.

How could you get those two confused?

I, I think you're wrong.

Rapaport's very happy about that confusion.

I don't believe you.

I think Dan Le Batard thinks the Monkees are the Beatles.

Roy, do you have one here?

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, baby.

I'm with you on this.

Really?

I, I— because you've got to sing that and get them in trouble. Like, you get the Beatles, they're litigious.

Like, well, those are the Monkees.

Hey, hey, they're the Monkees. Yeah, the Monkees. Yeah, yeah, the Monkees.

Davy Jones.

That's a pretty bad mistake.

Davy Jones and the Voices.

It's like the worst mistaken show.

Construction company guys.

The Beatles are litigious.

The judge would be so confused if the Beatles were suing over that.

Hey, no.

We're the Monkees, baby!

What's the fine on that?

It's a bad mistake.

Ah, just $5, man.

Fine!

It's been a long year.

Dan Levitar doesn't know about Tony's podcast.

The Crossover with Keon Dooling.

Yes.

No, no, I don't think that that's a podcast.

The answer is yes.

Um, Keon Dooling?

Tony, do you want to tell him?

KD?

Me and KD?

Yeah, I think Tony's podcast is what Keon Dooling called it.

Me and Keon Dooling co-host that show, The Crossover. Yeah, out every Monday and Thursday.

Keon Dueling?

Yeah.

He hasn't heard of Tony's podcast.

It's a real podcast with 10 Day Tony and Keon Dueling.

Dan said it with the tone of something he would never listen to.

Ever.

That's fine.

And clearly he hasn't.

It wasn't just him. It was like, who else would listen to that? That has to be fake. And thank God for the setup and us being resolute in playing this game, because we have just given Dan a great Shame.

Uh, you have.

Dan's redder than me.

Uh, no, well, so yes, I did.

Do you want to apologize to Tony?

Not yet.

I do not support him. You don't have to apologize, it's fine.

Greg Cody, beluga whales mistake.

Female beluga whales can weigh 1,500 to £2,600.

Okay, so it's false.

That's where beluga caviar comes from. Is that so?

Yep.

No.

Beluga whales.

That can't be right.

Sure.

No, they give live birth.

No, but—

They're mammals.

But, but the eggs.

No, that I don't think caviar is fish eggs, and beluga whales are mammals because they're whales.

Let's talk this out, Dad.

You never heard of beluga caviar?

But yeah, but I think that's—

but those are fish eggs, and the beluga whale is not a fish.

The penguin is.

Dan Le Batard, stepsister mistake.

This scandal, though, the only thing that anyone is gonna see is stepsister. Is affair—

Sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law, excuse me, that's a good correction, my bad.

Wrong tab.

That's different.

No, see, that's even a worse scandal.

Yeah, minor fine.

Sister—

I think that's a bigger fine, actually.

If I—

yeah, if I have to go— I don't know what the fine for that is. It's not a mistake that I've made before, but having an affair with your sister-in-law, allegedly, deserves— if I get that as stepsister, what I've accused you of now deserves a bigger fine than just $5.

That's right.

That mistake.

How much— stay here.

How much should that fine be? I mean, it's a mistake. I made it. We might as well sink into it. I mean, it was an honest mistake, but it was a mistake.

We don't do that in this state anymore, by the way.

Yeah, $25.

You know what?

That seems fair.

Yeah, that seems— that seems fair. I'm going to pay the fine.

Zaslav's Cardi B mistake.

That back to back to get hurt while being hurt sucks like that. That's awful.

But you know, by that Cardi B, you—

Stefon Diggs.

Yeah, you got— he's got his—

he's got his— you got your black female rappers mixed up.

What?

Who's the one that he's with?

Megan Thee Stallion.

Yeah.

You know about that Megan Thee Stallion? Megan Thee Stallion.

That was a sucker move by you.

Congratulations on your SUI nomination though. I gotta say, that was bad, dude. You have good teammates here. We'll lift you.

Thanks.

Over your clear and obvious racism.

Zaslow's terrible question for Dusty May.

Coach, did the winning feel better than losing in the Final Four with FAU?

Did you just ask him if winning the championship felt better than losing the championship.

It seems obvious. It feels better than losing felt bad.

That's not what he said.

No, he didn't say it like that.

No, Zazz, but it's good. You got to the heart of it. He confirmed that winning is better than losing.

Hey guys, we run a very psychological safe program and you can make mistakes and as long as you learn from them.

Did you understand what I was asking though, Coach?

You're being gentle. No, no, I tried to think of the nicest way to answer it.

Oh man.

He thinks you're a sucker.

I was gonna let Zazz slide on that.

Because that's a stupid question.

You know about that winner winning being better than losing, pal?

Oh man, you just asked the man if winning felt better than losing.

Now, would more points in the title feel better than not getting to the title game at all?

No, that's not what I meant. Did winning feel better than losing felt bad? Oh man, I blew it.

David Sampson's foreskin mistake.

It's crazy to me, but John's arguing WMB James are now worth $600 million, maybe a billion dollars, have the foreskin to pay him.

Foresight.

Well, edit that out, please.

No, we're keeping that in. That feels like a beyond Freudian slip.

The foreskin.

Look, the—

I was just talking about a breast before it started, which is why that was in my head.

When he said horror, I was like, horror?

Zaslav's porn star mistake.

What's her name? Brie Olsen, is that her name? I always get the names confused. She was in Mad Men. She's married to Franco. She's married to Dave Franco.

Yeah, Brie Larson.

Brie Larson. Is Brie Larson the one who played, like, Captain Marvel? Is that her name? Or am I thinking of the porn star?

Wait, Brie Larson played, uh—

Alison Brie!

That's what you're thinking of.

Alison Brie! Alison Brie plays Evil-Lyn in this movie. We like Alison Brie. Are you laughing because I thought she was Captain Marvel or the porn star?

I was laughing because I was like, I've never heard that name before. I'm not at all familiar with Brie Larson.