Transcript of FIFA is Executing The Biggest Scandal in Sports History (feat. Master Tesfatsion) | Hour 2

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I don't want to be prisoner of the moment. I want to, uh, be able to absorb the news of the day, uh, with the proper context. So I don't want to overstate this, but I don't know how not to overstate it. What FIFA is doing right now is so brazenly corrupt. To see it go from a Mulligan red card that gets overturned to now we're going to sell off pieces of the World Cup to Trump's kids— like, it can't B, that you're numb to the size of this sports story in, uh, I don't think I'm overstating it, Greg, when I say this is as brazenly corrupt as anything that you will ever see in sports, and there must be a backlash worldwide to prevent these people from doing this thing. Do I have anything wrong before I go out to an expert in master Tesfatsion who will break this down for us to see if I've got the proper perspective?

No, I think it's a tremendously big story centered around the biggest sport in the world, just coming off off its World Cup. The sad thing is we shouldn't be surprised at all that corruption is attached to FIFA.

Okay, but this kind of corruption, you're not allowed to be not shocked by this. Like, you can't say this is ridiculous. Master, the details on this: selling a large minority stake in a new company that— well, FIFA has announced plans to sell a large minority stake in a new company that will run its main events, including the World Cup and, uh, Club World Cup, as part of a plan to triple the amount of development money it dishes out to its 211 member associates. The press release confirmed that global bank JPMorgan has been FIFA's chief advisor on the project, with Thrive Eternal, a long-term investment vehicle set up by Joshua Kushner, the brother of Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner, expected to lead the proposed investor group for FFE. Master, thank you for joining us. Pardons for the rambly, uh, start, but do I have anything wrong when I'm looking at this and it's appalling, uh, in ways that people can't get comfortable with?

Nah, I think you're spot on with this. I think this is really the pinnacle of sports capitalism as we see it in terms of the modern day or late-stage sports capitalism. This is truly the climax of that, that Infantino selling this and spinning it off of a valuation of $20 billion of what FIFA Forward Enterprises would be and handing it off to obviously his Wall Street buddies that he has, which, as you mentioned, with, with Josh Kushner and all the Trump family members that would monetize and profit off this. They would sell off— FIFA would still own 80% of this. 20% is the minority stake that would be sold off. And so that equates to about $4.2 billion. So we know there's a— there is an election about to happen with Infantino. More than likely, he was going to get elected regardless because this was the most profitable World Cup of all time. This would extend his run till 2031. But basically now he's just buying votes to become this FIFA commissioner that would oversee the FIFA Forward Enterprises, where he would receive a salary that's pretty comparable, based off reports, to Roger Goodell, which is roughly around $60 to $64 million a year.

And that in turn keeps him in power. And it nukes the power that UEFA has. And a lot of this, which is the underbelly of the story, is the ongoing struggle that's been going on between FIFA and UEFA, where UEFA has been this governing body that has had a lot of influence and power in global football, and FIFA's just straight up hated it. And now this is their way to kind of undermine that and minimize that because now they are paying their nations directly and the other 211 members within FIFA, paying them directly an upfront payment of $20 million, which can be $40 million now as we just found out, as Infantino's putting a gun to everyone's head trying to threaten to make this vote go through by September 19th so they can receive now $40 million instead of $20 million.

Yeah, Master, I think like that's, that's the hard part about all of this in terms of Infantino's power? Because every federation has one vote. So UEFA's vote counts the same as, you know, I don't know, like Papua New Guinea's vote or whatever, right? So how, like, how does Infantino get out of power when he can just promise $10 million to every nation that isn't a massive football federation?

I mean, that's, that's FIFA as we've known it. It has always come down to these smaller nations that ultimately dictate and rule whenever these votes happen. And whether it's voting in a very corrupt way of what nations receive the World Cup or in terms of who remains in power as FIFA president. Like, this is a very textbook play in terms of realizing and influencing amongst all the small islands that exist in CONCACAF, all the African nations that exist, all the nations in Asia, being able to take advantage of the fact that, look, and it's, let's be honest here, those nations are not going to make the same amount of money as England or Spain or France or the United States. They're, they're not going to have the, the, the opportunity to, to tap into private equity in the same manner some of these bigger nations are. No one cares about— with all due respect, like, there's very little caring from these private equity companies of those smaller nations. So for their chance and their opportunity to receive this payment that could help pay off debts that, of course, in an idealistic way, paying off debts, rebuilding in terms of the grassroots efforts of playing the sport, or as we've come to expect as well, their nations pocketing this money in a very corrupt way.

Like, this allows them to do that in that kind of manner, which the payment itself would be, what, 4 or 5 times, I believe it is, the current payment that they receive from FIFA. So there's no one in this current economy, as we're in late-stage capitalism, that's going to turn down that much amount of money regardless of whatever moral, ethical standards that they have.

Okay, so you've said late-stage capitalism now a couple of times, and a source is describing this whole setup as pure bribery. Okay, The Times, uh, in London: Infantino has told countries to sign up, as you guys mentioned, uh, sell off in 53 days for $40 million each or reject it and receive $10 million. The, the details of this, Master, what's going to happen? Like, it— there needs to be an uprising that doesn't allow this to happen. Does the global, global support for soccer that wrecked the Super League when fans are like, "No, no, it can't be this dirty." Like, the European sports fan has real voice and real power. What's going to happen here?

Yeah, European fans do, and European leagues do, 'cause ultimately these players are not employed by their federations. They're employed by the clubs. And the best players in the world, with all due respect to the other leagues around the world, they play in Europe. And so they still need the sign-off of allowing from UEFA to FIFA to allow these players from the clubs, from the leagues, to allow themselves to participate in these FIFA-sanctioned international breaks, whether that is Nation Leagues, whether that's World Cup, Club World Cup, etc. But we've seen this playbook oftentimes from UEFA where they're threatening to boycott the World Cup or the Club World Cup. It happened with the 48-team tournaments. UEFA came out there, they threatened to boycott this. What ended up coming out of this? UEFA got the most spots out of any other federation in the World Cup. They got 16 spots and they were the only governing body that didn't have to participate in the interconfederation playoff because they had their own playoff. When the Club World Cup came around, FIFA once again, UEFA once again threatened to boycott. What came out of that? Their clubs got $50 million, I believe it was, to participate in the Club World Cup.

At a certain point, FIFA's calling their bluff. You can threaten as many times you want to that you're going to boycott the World Cup and boycott the Club World Cup and all these FIFA moments. Are you just trying to use this to leverage this, uh, to try and maximize and ensure the fact that you're getting more leverage because you are, uh, you hold more weight in the governing international world than, say, the African countries, the South American countries, the Asian countries, etc., etc. So it's, it's like this duality of this whole situation. As you talk about the Super League, it's very interesting you mentioned that because UEFA is talking about how they're trying to preserve the soul of football, and everyone's going to point to the Super League as a result of that.. But what the Champions League did afterwards, they expanded into the Swiss model and this thought of playing too many games and the monetary purposes and all that stuff. They expanded the Champions League to play 64 more matches in the Swiss model, which in turn played more games, allowed for a more congested fixture run that the athletes ultimately had to endure.

And on the flip side of that, it generated more money that they can produce at the end of the day, and that they can also in turn charge the broadcasting rights, charge the marketing arms, et cetera, et cetera, so then they can bring in more money for their 55 members. So it's a very complex situation. UEFA's gonna put a strong arm in this, but at the end of the day, you also have to keep in mind, for every England that there is, and England's in a great situation because they turn out with £500 million a year, they're an outlier in this whole situation. In fact, it's ironic that we're talking about this right now as the Community Shield, which always is what kicks off the English football season, is in 2 weeks, and typically it's played at Wembley Stadium. This year it's played in Cardiff. You wanna know why, Dan? Because, uh, The Weeknd is performing for 5 nights at Wembley Stadium, and they're gonna make more money from The Weeknd performing at Wembley Stadium, which the English FA owns and is one of their profitable arms that they have that brings in all the revenue that they generate.

They're gonna make more money from those 5 nights that The Weeknd performs than they would from that Community Shield, which is gonna be played now and Cardiff Wales. And that's— this is the only time that's ever happened for without a scheduling conflict, whether that was the European Women's Euros or whether that was the London Olympics or the simple fact of construction that was going on Wembley Stadium. It's happening because they make more money from the weekend than they would from their own games. So it is a very— if you want to call it hypocrisy, if you want to call it ironic, there's a lot that is very complex in this when you look at it from a European lens standpoint because they have benefited more than anybody else has from private equity. And now this opportunity exists for other nations and they're the ones upset about it, and rightfully so. They should, because they didn't have a say in any of this. CONCACAF didn't have a say in this. UEFA didn't have a say in this. No one had really a say in this outside of Infantino, Kushner, Trump, and whoever else— JPMorgan— that's involved in this deal.

We still don't know what the details of this deal is. That's the craziest part.

Is there any situation conceivable, any amount of scandal conceivable that would allow a challenger to FIFA, would go to the very heart of what Infantino has built there and challenge it and say there's got to be a better solution than FIFA to lead global soccer.

If there's ever a time, this would be the opportunity to present itself. And it's going to take more than the European nations in order for that to happen. You're going to need— I mean, South America, obviously. Is very influential. You're gonna need South America on board, but is South America going to turn down $20 to $40 million, uh, for their own federations? That, that is a question that still remains to be seen. And you're going to need other buy-ins from the smaller nations. At the end of the day, I think they only need, what, 111 votes, I believe it is, something along those lines for this to go through. Uh, there are enough nations that are struggling as a result of the global economy in the state it's in, uh, whether it's the financial issues and debts that they've had Coming out of—

you think it's going to work? You think the bribe is going to work?

Unfortunately, yes, I do. The one thing I think that's going to push back on this is that they did not have a say in this and there's no transparency in terms of what this deal is. And whatever this private equity situation looks like, it obviously— I'm sure they'll find a way to rework this. But there are enough nations I feel like that will take this money.

Yes.

However, however sliced up, whether it's still Kushner and Thrive Capital, whether it's another private equity, whatever the case may be. If there is an arms race or a financial race towards trying to figure out how you can slice this up to divvy up the money and provide more, more influx of cash and injection of cash into these different federations, I think the majority of them will run, not walk, to get that. And that's just— that is the modern-day football. That's what football is now. It is a business.

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Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. You know, The Leprechaun Show and Miller Lite go way back. Pretty much, I want to say like 95% of our existence we've been partnered with Miller Lite. And we believe in Miller Lite, they believe in us. It's great to have a partner with a product you truly love. That's me with Miller Lite. I love Miller Lite, always have. In fact, I consider myself A bit of a Miller Time MVP. The friend who says, they've got it, I'll pick the spot, I'll throw the cooler in the trunk, bring some Miller Lite, and suddenly what was supposed to be a couple of hours turns into a whole afternoon. That's me, the Miller Time MVP. And it's great for summer hangs. Cools the body down, that beautiful white can. Not much better than an ice cold Miller Lite because it's brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Clean, refreshing, and easy to drink in the Miami heat. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly.

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Down levitar!

Is there Back in My Day?

There is, actually.

What?

Were you not going to tell anyone?

It's a Tuesday.

Wait a minute. You guys.

Guys.

Why would you let them do this to us?

It's a Tuesday.

Greg Cody.

Here's your guy, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day. Shit, I hope I have it.

Okay, here it is.

Sorry.

Adultery!

That a one! Yeah! Wait a minute. That is great. We've been waiting for this one. This is the Dan Lebatard Show.

Master, is there any parallels that can be learned from college football where The power schools just said, to hell with this. We're the ones that bring in the money. We're going to do the CFP. We're going to do it with a broadcast partner. And we don't have to— we can cut the NCAA out of this deal. Do you see something like that happening on a world football level?

I mean, isn't it happening right now with the SEC? I mean, you can compare the SEC and the leverage that they have in terms of threatening to, you know, remove themselves from the current college football playoff and the threats that they've had. I know Mike Ryan was on the air saying, go ahead and do it. I mean, you can compare the SEC to UEFA in terms of their dominance and their influence that they've had in being able to, you know, bend the game internationally or bend the game domestically in the SEC's case towards their will. And again, the biggest question is, do— are enough people going to side with England, which does not have the same financial problems that other nations have playing this game? Because they're not going to get the same check from Nike. They're not going to have the same commercial profitability that England has. You walk around— I'm in London right now— you walk around during this World Cup this summer, you, you buy a loaf of bread, there's an English player on there. That in terms of its commercialization and advertising sponsorship that they receive, that simply told, you're not going to receive in Moldova.

You know, you're not going to receive in Malawi. You're not going to receive in Uganda. You're not going to receive this in all these other nations that are fighting and competing to try and be be somewhat competitive, if not earn a spot in the World Cup. And there's already been a European nation that's already broken rank, in, in Czechia, which did participate in this World Cup, finished last in their group, already saying that they're going to take this money because, you know, whether they do it or not, they— the, the quote was, as Sky Sports reported it, that they're going to use this money for grassroots efforts. And again, for them, that money is much more valuable to them than it is siding with England, which does not have the same financial problems, or some of the most powerful and biggest nations in the sport.

I mean, I want to place in front of you the details that are emerging this morning on some of this. As Master says correctly, we still don't know the details of the deal, but the idea that you could buy the World Cup by bribing small nations that just need the funds during these desperate global times, that you could sell the event we just saw to Trump's family— on the list of sports stories you've seen in your lifetime that should be galling at the height of however we talk about outrage in sports, where does sports being quite this commercial rank today without hyperventilating and with some semblance of perspective of the history and the times that we're in?

Dan, when Sepp Blatter is offended by the level of corruption at play here, that should tell you we've reached into some very scary territory. To me, that's the the wild part about— I guess should be wild— that we're the ones that ruined it, right? Like, this thing existed with corruption, yes, for decades, but like, the moment Americans came in there and said, hey, you know, we can make a lot of money doing this, and it's just like, that's it. That's— we, we, we infected the virus into this that has led us to this place where it's— this is ridiculous. It's a ridiculous level of corruption and Like Masters pointed out, the lack of transparency, I think, is the biggest, scariest part of this. That they're saying, "Hey, we're just going to do this deal. You just got to trust us on this one." Which, even in Sepp Blatter's most corrupt days, he was buying votes, but at least he was buying votes and not just telling you.

Here is a tweet from Sepp Blatter: "The close relationship between the FIFA president and the US president has reached a financial dimension that is deeply damaging football. No one has the right to sell our game.

#Sellout." out.

Uh, please guys, just tell me that we didn't just watch, uh, this wonderful game that America just got to caring about. We didn't just watch Trump come and buy himself a red card and then say, you know what, I want it, I want the whole league, I just, I want the whole thing, can I have the whole thing? That's not what just happened here. That, Master, tell me that's not what's gonna happen here.

I, I, I, I don't know what to tell you. I really don't. The funniest part is that the romanticism that's happening in the last 24, 48 hours now, 24 hours, of Seth Blatter. It reminds me when people are like, hey man, that George Bush guy, you know what, he wasn't so bad, was he? When they think about Donald Trump, like, this is the way like people are viewing Gianni Infantino at this point, is that it's so bad that they're romanticizing someone that was also just as corrupt. Like, at least he cared about the sport. That's kind of what we're just kind of like, uh, you know, like, you know, he, he may have been corrupt, but hey, he liked the sport at least, you know. Like, it's That's kind of what— that's where we're at in the world right now. It's— you're trying to find the le— that's not even the good versus evil, it's cartel versus cartel. That's essentially what we're comparing at this point, is which cartel do you align with the most and whatever emotional affection that you have. And, and there's no winner in this, there really isn't. And I don't know where the sport goes from here at this point, but I also do know that the financial business model of this sport is also unsustainable.

Like, that is the part that is underlying in this entire situation, is that Everyone is trying to keep up with this. The biggest story that's going on in the sports world outside of this is whether Vinicius Jr. is going to join Arsenal or stay at Real Madrid making, what, €30 million a year. And that is the biggest story. We've seen £116 million players being moved left and right throughout the summer transfer window. There is an insane amount of money that's being moved while everyone is bleeding money. Like, again, I'm not a macroeconomics major. I enjoy understanding the business of sport. But the money's not adding up. I get it. At a certain point, like all of this investment that's going into private equity, I think I looked up over a third of the top 5 European clubs are funded by some sort of private equity or venture capitalism. Like this bubble is going to burst at some point. I don't know when that is. This bubble is going to burst and the people with the money, the people with the leverage, the people with the power are going to maximize and extrapolate that for every single penny, dollar, euro, crypto that they have.

Before it pops. And unfortunately, we're at the mercy of this because when FIFA adds more games to the World Cup, guess who's watching?

Me.

When FIFA adds new competition, the Club World Cup, guess who's watching?

Me.

When UEFA adds more games to Champions League, Europa League, and they add a whole Conference League, guess who's sitting here watching?

Me.

So it's all your fault.

It is my—

it's your fault too. I mean, we're all at blame here, the fans. But they've got us at the end of the day. They have a product that they have us. Like, and at a certain point, it is going to take the fans to do that, but also it's going to take the governing bodies to do that. And is there enough will at this point when the alternative is potentially the continuing folding that we're seeing of clubs, the inability, the, the, of, of these governing bodies, these leagues being able to be solvent coming out of COVID We saw literally La Liga had to borrow money from CVC, a venture capital company. We've seen France Football and Ligue 1 have to tap into venture capitalist money. The Bundesliga right now, as we're talking, as we are literally talking, the Bundesliga is contemplating a $1.1 billion investment from venture capitalism to potentially help their league. Because at the end of the day, the amount of money it takes for the grassroots to invest in women's sports, to invest in the entire pyramid scheme, to invest in the fundraising— all of this takes money that Europe, simply put, and a lot of the governing— a lot of the world at this point It's hard for them to find that cash outside of private equity.

Check out his soccer podcast. He's got real expertise. The S Word. It's powered by TalkSport. Thank you, Master. Appreciate the time. I will just punctuate the all of that by looking at whatever camera it is where America can hear me. It can't be this. Just look. Sports.

It can't be this. It can't be the World Cup is great. We all love the World Cup. Trump comes over. Hey, that's not a red card. Give me the whole sport. It can't be this. Am I wrong? It can't, it can't be this. It can't be this.

You're not—

Master, get out of here. The idea is this.

This is sports, unfortunately.

I do not accept this. I don't expect it. I don't respect your premise. What's your favorite theme song from television? And we're moving on up, moving on up to the east side. We finally got a piece of the pie.

Beans don't fry in kitchen.

We're moving up to the We were moving up to the deluxe apartment and then the song ended.

We were just moving up. We were just starting. We were going to sing together and then somebody ended the song.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Get out of here. It can't be this. I'm not wrong. Look, it can't be this brazen. Guys, I know we're not naive. It can't be the Trumps just say, hey, soccer World Cup looks fun. Let me dance on the stage with With Spain, I'm gonna do the elephant masturbating dance. Yeah, give me the sport. 20%. Cool, give me that. No, that's not a red card. It can't be that.

Is— if there's any justice in the world, it ends the way US men's national team's World Cup dreams ended. A decided defeat while your enemies dance on your grave doing your dance, right? That's, that's how we want it to end, but If you look at money, money rarely loses, guys.

Okay, but Sepp Blatter was the previous most corrupt thing in the history of corruption, and we're longing for this now.

Let me tell you, I like you. You brought me again into the FIFA. I stay with you. You have voted for me. Although they have voted for the Prince Ali, I congratulate you. It's a good candidate. But I'm now the president of everybody. So I'm the president of everybody. There is no retentions. That's just president of the whole FIFA. Voilà.

Voilà.

Wow, what an exclamation point.

I miss him so much. He was delightful. This guy Johnny Football is evil.

But you know what I want to know, Dan? Where's Prince Ali now? Maybe he's the guy we need to save us from all of this. A Gulf State oil tycoon, Prince.

He's the one. How did he lose? How did he—

wait a minute.

That's a great question.

We cannot escalate the inflation on corruption so much that we go from Sepp Blatter being the most corrupt thing in the history of sports corruption, FIFA being the most corrupt thing in the history of sports corruption, and now JP Morgan and a couple of bankers divvying up the World Cup. That—

Voilà!

No, I mean, it is a magic trick. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what it is? It's been happening in front of our eyes. Thank you, Roy. You're right.

You're right, Seb. It's a magic trick.

It is going to be that easy. You want to see the red card disappear?

Voilà!

You want to see 20% stake in something you love disappear?

Voilà!

You want me to give it to my brother-in-law's friend's brother-in-law?

Voilà!

Prince Ali is now serving as the president of Jordanian Football Association.

Voilà! It can't be this! I mean, we're losing everybody! We're losing! We're losing! Everything Trump touches turns to shit! Everything! It's just a mountain of diarrhea! Everything he touches! And then he runs off with the crypto coin.

Voilà.

Buys the World Cup. My friends are shaking his hand with Wolf Blitzer.

Voilà.

Winning Courage Awards. You gotta be shitting me.

Voilà.

Dan Levitar.

Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45. Greg Cody.

Shred 'em! This is the Dan Levitar Show.

How do we feel about the Wonder Years theme song?

What will you do if your thing has to? Joe Cocker, ladies and gentlemen! During that song I heard Chris Cody—

I don't know what he was saying, but it sounded like something about his penis. Whether this was on air or just whispered to me and Greg, but he just said to Greg Cody, thanks for the help, because Greg Cody did not offer a syllable of song that he recognized or, uh, hummed any part of the tune.

That's correct.

Might as well been going—

you know what, we still haven't sung the number one theme song of all time. Are you ready?

Charlie Chaplin.

Green Acres is the place for me. Farm living is the life for me. What is this?

Green Acres.

What is Green Acres? I know it, but I don't know the words.

If it's the greatest of all time, you got to know the words.

Big Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

I'm going to give you another crack at this, okay?

Let's all lay out.

Let's— I want to hear, okay? You can't proclaim something the greatest song of all time and then you know 9 of the words.

Eva Gabor.

Not helpful.

The most successful Gabor sister.

Not true.

Yes.

Whoa, Zsa Zsa would like a word.

Okay, when— name the third Gabor, I challenge you.

Gálesz?

Challenge I did not see coming.

Put it on the poll at Levittard Show. Name the third Gabor, I challenge you. Just—

do you accept the challenge?

Do you accept the challenge? Does anyone here Accept the challenge.

I do.

I know it.

She's the least successful Gabor.

That is correct.

Correct. I think I know the name.

You don't know the name either?

No, pretty sure.

I want to give you another crack at Green Acres. Now, many of you did not recognize that song. Tony reacted as if there was a bad smell in the room. Greg Cody assumed, as he does inside of his narcissism, that everybody would know and sing along and cover the fact that he doesn't know the song. Go ahead, Greg. Give people Green Acres.

Green Acres is the place for me to be. Farm living is the life for me. Take Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay. I get a little From the smell of hate. Ah, just adore penthouse view. Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue. The tours.

Fresh air.

Times Square.

Did you like my Gabor?

I want to hug you right now. I had no idea the two most delightful surprises of my day are that Roy has a limited Edith Bunker singing, and you can do a Gabor sister.

You can do, uh, the second most successful one.

Yes, you could do Ava Gabor, even though, uh, Greg, nobody would argue that Ava Gabor is more successful than Zsa Zsa. Nobody would.

Oh, I think so. Yeah. What, what's Zsa Zsa famous for? We know Ava is famous for Green Acres. What is Zsa Zsa famous for other than having an exotic first name.

She's a model. She's a supermodel.

Really? That was before supermodels existed.

No, she invented it.

The third Gabor.

When was the first supermodel?

Uh, Gabor Sisters. Here we are, and I'm right. I was right on the third name.

You didn't say the third name.

Magda.

No one heard you say it. You can tell anyone.

Magda.

No, if he says it like that though, Dan, he wins. Yes, that's the way it works.

Yes, thank you.

You think it would have escaped our attention if you had said Magda? We're not making babies named Magda anymore.

You're not saying it right, Dan. Dan, you're not saying it right.

No, it's Magda.

That's how you say it.

Hungarian-born actress, socialite, born 1915 in Budapest, died in 1997. RIP.

I did not have us today, uh, as some more LeBron details are coming out, and evidently the Celtics were interested and involved. Uh, Dave McMenamin has a story that is coming out now that has some details on LeBron that, uh, you guys might be interested in, but we're too busy talking about the Gabor sisters and Magda being the third most famous Gabor and Magda being a very funny name for someone who would be the third most famous Gabor.

What does that mean?

If you had said it, if you had said it, actually done what you thought in your head and didn't say out loud to help our show be its funniest, right? You would have said out loud, and the third sister was Magda, and we all would have fallen out of our chairs at Zsa Zsa Eva and the ridiculousness of the name Magda. But it was only happening in your head. And so then you said It is Magda.

Like I thought.

Like I thought, right?

I knew it, and it was verified.

There you go.

Yeah, and, and in, in Hungary, Magda is a very popular name. It's like Jane, you know, Mary, you know, whatever popular names are in this country. That's Magda in Hungary.

You don't see a lot of Janes anymore.

No, you don't. Jane Austen. Pardon me. Who else? What are other popular names? You don't see any Evas anymore.

Jane Seymour.

When's the— that's a good one. When's the last time you met another Zsa Zsa?

Never.

Never, right?

That's how you know she's the most famous one.

You know what, that's a good point. I'm turning around on that. I think Zsa Zsa did out-Gabor Eva!

Do you know how I know she's more popular? How was that— Zsa-Zsa Gabor: 9 marriages?!

Wow!! Ohhh... love that!!!

What about Za-Za Petulia??

Wut!?

Wha-whaa-waaaahh!!!!

You LOVE "nine" marriage???

Why do YOU Love Nine Marriages????

Because eeeeh woman gets around!!!!! Were any of them famous men—they had to be right???

Conrad Hilton one of 'em. Hiltons????????

Really??? Yeah!!!!!!!!

Wow, the Conrad Hilton.

Woman, get around. I didn't think the Gabor conversation could get any worse. I really didn't. I thought we were at the low point of what the Gabor conversation is. I meant to share with you guys today something that I told my wife about Greg Cody that disgusted Valerie. What are you laughing about? She recoiled. Are you familiar— I can only imagine. Are you familiar with what Greg Cody's belief is about toothbrushes? No, what does that mean? Greg Cody, I would say that the Cody family, and specifically the way that his, this father has raised this son, chlorine as shampoo in the pool as a hygiene habit, a little unusual. Tell the people your philosophy on toothbrushes, Greg.

Uh, toothbrushes have a much longer shelf life than they're given credit for. Um, when you hear that you need to replace your toothbrush every 2 or 3 months, that's being fed to you by the Toothbrush Manufacturers Association of America, okay? The TBAA? That's right. Toothbrushes will last, if— decades, if properly treated.

Decades.

Yeah, decades. I've— my wife denies it— the toothbrush I'm using I've had for 35 years. Okay, it, it's perfect.

How are those bristles looking?

They're, they're great. There's no way they're great. Yeah, because they start off as stiff. You're brushing with like a nub. After about 10 years they become medium. It's a little on the soft side, but the bristles are still there. No, you want the bristles to be sharp.

No, you don't.

What are you, you want to make your gums bleed? Well, your gums only bleed if you don't brush properly.

No, I— and often enough.

Oh, I brush properly. Believe me. But the thing you don't want to do is use an electric toothbrush. That's a whole different category.

Why? Can't trust them.

You know, I—

that's right. That's right. This is shocking.

They just turn you into a regular toothbrush if they stop working.

Uh, 35 years is shocking to me. I thought I only went decades, but I didn't go into the third one.

Well, you know, live and learn. The others, they all learn from me. Uh, plus, over a lifetime, you save 20 $25 on toothbrushes by making them last that long. Every penny counts. Yeah, that's right. And, and you know, the hygiene police, the moral hygiene police, are gonna get on me about this. Yeah, okay. I'm not a germaphobe, okay? You want to go in the supermarket and do that, the handy wipe thing on the, on the cart handle, go right ahead. I'm not gonna judge you.

You lick it.

Don't judge me for not cleaning the cart handle. It's grabbing. You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. A great woman once said that, you know, and I believe it. I was raised with that standard, and it also applies to toothbrushes. You know, I'm, I'm not policing here. I'm not saying you have to use a toothbrush for 35 years, but if you're, if you're able and willing, it's the way to go, man.

It's a lack of commitment in today's people, Greg. Like, people just can't stick with anything because they're always looking for the next best thing, looking for something new. Yeah, and, and they're lemmings.

You know, you grow up being taught that you have to change toothbrushes every several months, and so everybody's going over the same cliff, you know, buying— what am I going to get? Crest? Colgate? You know, what am I going to do? And they do it, you know, they're lemmings. They don't realize that you can use a toothbrush and make it last and last and last.

You know, the whole thing about lemmings is made up.

Is it?

Yeah, really, by Disney of all people. Oh, I love that. Yeah, they did a documentary about lemmings and there was like, this documentary is boring, so it's like, what if we had them like commit suicide? And so they shoved them off a cliff, but they shot it reverse angle, and then they just say, yeah, lemmings apparently do mass suicides and stuff. People just believe that for years.

That's a great fact. Thank you. Yeah, I did learn something new every day, don't you? Just like that. And like being able to use a toothbrush for decades.

Well, this— 35 years. I don't want to be the hygiene police, and I think I risk being the hygiene police. Learning that lemmings aren't actually lemmings, surprising enough for this spectacular hour that we have made today. But for Donald Trump to go from "that's not a red card" to buying the World Cup Being the second most shocking thing I've learned this hour because Greg Cody hasn't replaced a toothbrush in 35 years, that's a good hour because I am truly shocked at how disgusted I am right now by the idea of using a toothbrush for 35 years. This, this makes me the hygiene police, but I know the audience is with me on this. They're saying 35 years is too long to own one toothbrush. There's nobody in our audience that's had a toothbrush for 35 years except for Greg Cody. Not one person.

There's nothing cleaner on earth than my toothbrush. Not true.

I thought it was the inside of a FedEx envelope.

Well, that if you're going to put it over your head. But if you're going to use it to brush your teeth, every day it's cleaned with toothpaste and running water and then it air dries. It's the cleanest thing on earth is my toothbrush. Da na na na.

Da na na na.

Da na na na. Da na na na. Da na na na.