Transcript of Cowboys, Bears, & the Eagles Rollercoaster (feat. Dave Helman, Ten Day Tony & Jeremy Tache)

I will not stand for this Chicago dog slander. Chicago dogs are delicious. No, they're delicious.

Tomato?

No, they're delicious.

I don't need a salad on my hot dog. I already committed.

It's not a salad on a hot dog, dude. It's a hot dog with a bunch of shit in it, and the bunch of shit is delicious.

Like, it's your wiener. If you know what you're doing, your wiener is grilled. You don't be— you know, oil it out.

Whoa, whoa, freezing.

Cut that out.

Careful. Clip that.

Training camps are underway. Let's get to it. Dave Hellman is about to talk us into the Philadelphia Eagles before he talks us out of the Philadelphia Eagles. Plus, we'll get into the Bears and the Cowboys and whether or not NFL defenses are going to be bigger this season or maybe smaller. It's time to go to fan training camp with TNT, Tashay, and Tony. Plus, we'll hear from Social Randy with your comments, specifically your hot takes. My fellow football Americans, it is hereby football season. Let's start the show. Yes, hi and hello, my fellow football Americans, and welcome to Football America presented by our pals at DraftKings Sports. Now in all 50 states, I'm all over the Eastern Seaboard in Football America these days. It's been raining on us, we've been dealing with the, uh, the Canadian wildfires and all of that. When it's rainy out, I got to go to a baseball game with my old pal Pooh Lossky and his son Mo, but in the rain I've been taking an umbrella with me. Not one of the little short ones, you understand, that when you push the button it extends out. No, like a traditional one.

And it's like a cane. And now it has me thinking maybe I should become a cane guy. What do you think about that, Gino Fuentes and Buddy Budowski?

Should I do that?

I think I've reached an age where it would come off as distinguished, right?

Like a pimp cane?

I didn't say a pimp cane. I was just like, you know, walking around with an umbrella. Just maybe it'd be—

Ooh, like, okay, yes. You know, when I, when I walk with an umbrella, I use it like I get a little like strut going and kind of like tap it along.

I literally, I literally push the elevator button with it.

That's cool. That's swag. Yeah, that's tough. No, that's tough. That's a good move. That's a good move.

As long as you do it with a trench coat and a top hat, you're good.

Oh, the other thing we have to figure out, what was weird was, I don't know about that. Let's, let's skip that last part. Well, I might leave that out. The thing that in my travels that I've also realized is Um, whatever happened to wintergreen gum? It was, it was a prominent thing in my childhood, you know. It was like, it was peppermint and there was spearmint, but, and cinnamon, but then there was also wintergreen. Now wintergreen gum has gone the way of the dodo bird. Have you guys seen it anywhere lately?

No.

What's the difference between pepper— I've always wondered this— what's the difference? I think that's why we're not— and spearmint.

Oh, come on, those are very different. Those are very different. I like that the, that the industry at large agreed at some point, like cinnamon, everybody, if you make cinnamon gum, it's got to be in a red package. And if it's in peppermint, it's got to be blue. But if it's wintergreen, it's got to be light blue. And then spearmint is green, standardly, no variation with that. I don't know who on high made these rules, but I'm glad they did because it clarifies things for me. Anyway, we don't have time for nonsense right now. We have much to get to. Like I say, NFL training camps, are starting up, have started up. I'm over the moon about it. I enjoyed the World Cup like everybody else. I continue to enjoy the wildcard chase in Major League Baseball. But it's time to get right spiritually and otherwise for it. It's not just the players and the coaches that need to get ready. It's us who need to. Before we jump into all of it, Gino Fuentes, let's take care of business. It's episode number 74. By the way, as I say that, it's a reminder Please subscribe.

Leave us comments wherever you are. We're going to be reading some of them, as a matter of fact, later in the show, your hot takes about the upcoming season. But drop us a line, whether it's in the podcast comment section or on YouTube. Football America is how you track that one down. Like I say, episode 74. Gino, who is the player or players who wore that best in NFL or sports history?

The ones that come to mind for NFL history are Bruce Matthews, who seemingly played forever for the Oilers and the Titans. Joe Staley and Nick Mangold are the other ones that come to mind for me specifically.

Any NHL? Well, you meant—

I got some NHL here, Dave.

The best one is Merlin Olsen, who, you know, he went on to play a TV pope, a TV priest from another century even. I have to shout his parents out. I've said it before. This wasn't a Hall of Fame football player when he was born. He was just a baby, just a random baby for all they knew. But they, but they decided, you know what, let's roll the dice for this kid's life. Let's name him after a fictional medieval wizard and see what happens. And look, he lived up to it. He went on to be an NFL Hall of Famer and the TV priest. Maybe there's something— maybe there's a message in that for everybody else out there. Anyway, go ahead, NHL, uh, 74.

Yeah, I actually have, uh, a football shout out as well. Jack Youngblood wore 74 at the University of Florida, though he went on to wear 85 in the NFL. So shout out Jack Youngblood, one of the great Gators ever. In the NHL, you got Jon Karlsson, currently now of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Jacob Slavin, gold medalist for Team USA this past year. And a guy who played on Team USA and even more famous for his efforts on Team USA than Jake Slavin, despite not winning a gold medal. Dave, it's Captain America, TJ Oshie. Everybody remembers that shootout in Sochi, right?

I guess so. 50 years ago, there was a guy named Merlin at training camp, and now it's time for us to go to training camp. Let's get into it. All right, we fans need to start getting ready to get our brains and otherwise in shape for the 2026 season. Thankfully, joining us from Miami right now, a couple more fellas. One, a Dolphins fan. The other, I, I forgot that I had asked him this about 6 months ago, and he's so down in the dumps about the state of the Miami Dolphins and where they've been for as long as they have been that he now just pretends like he's Rob Lowe and he's a fan of the Shield. We gotta get him one of them hats.

Do you have one? I have one. Do you really have one? Yeah, I have an NFL hat. I'll wear it. I'll wear it tomorrow on the show. How about that? We'll both— we'll both be on on Friday and I'll wear my NFL— I'm a man of the Shield, Dave. I love all football. I love greatness, Dave. You're trying to put me on a team that I don't want to be on. I want to see the greats. I want to watch the 4 o'clock one. I want to watch the 1 o'clock one. I want to watch the Island games. You're holding me down.

I'm holding you down. Yeah, that's me. That's me forcing you into the— into this act of disloyalty. Hey, thank Thick and thin, fella. All right, listen, like I say, brains may be a little out to lunch because of summertime and the distraction of soccer and baseball and the Miami Marlins. And by the way, Jeremy Tashay, apologies for the state of the Miami Marlins right now.

I have no issue with the state of the Miami Marlins.

Everything's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be totally fine. They're in the thick of a wildcard race. Everything's gonna be okay. Do not try to bring me down and rattle me before I even have to do this segment.

Okay.

As Merlyn Valdez, though, that's the story of the National League 2026. All right, listen, we're not talking about baseball. What did I just say to you? It's football, America. It's football, America, indeed. And I think the best way to get right mentally, emotionally, spiritually for football season is to take a quick look back and make sure we have our ducks in a row, know where we've been to see where we're going and all that kind of stuff. It's time for a head-to-head edition of Mr. Lister. You two are going to trade back and forth. I'm going to give you a category one by one. Whoever runs out first is the loser of that category. I say let's go 2 out of 3 here. In this corner, he's the jubin' voice of the Miami Marlins. Or do you guys look out by the Florida Marlins now? I forget which one. Miami Marlins, but Florida on Sundays. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that is right. They do go back to the, to the aqua, to the turquoise, to the roots, whatever it's called. It's Jeremy Tashae. And in the other corner, 10-day Tony himself rooting for all 32 members of the National Football League, it's Tony Kaloudiaou.

Kaloudiaou.

Kalouding.

I'm gonna kaloud right now. Kaloudiaou.

Kaloudiaou. Kaloudiaou is what I said. All right, listen, dudes, it's time to play. Hughes and Judds and Cubans all together in one. We're gonna trade back and y'all said here, this is— this should be simple for two diehard football fans like yourself. Oh yeah, y'all said here, Jeremy, you're up first. Yeah, awesome. Last one, right? Didn't you win the last time we played?

I've won all of them. Yeah, I don't win.

I'm—

you wanna—

I don't think you're right.

Washington Generals.

Yeah, I don't think that you understand that there are— I've like done a lot of work to get anxiety out of my life. There's nothing that makes me more anxious than this because I hate— I hate losing more than I like to win.

Wow.

And so putting me in this position is not something I enjoy.

But I'm here for you. I love Marlins and Dolphins fans. Sheesh. I'm sorry.

What the fuck, Dave?

No reason to work blue. I was like, here we go.

First category.

Bleep it. Are you set?

Here we go.

Taché.

2025 NFL playoff teams.

Go.

Like, just name one and we're going back and forth.

I mean, it's already— with the van, you need to explain again. All right.

Sorry.

Patriots.

That's correct.

Tony, if— all right, we're going to do— we could work back this way. Seattle Seahawks, the other team that was in the Super Bowl.

I don't need this here, the machinations of how you arrive.

I'm helping. I'm helping him.

I want to help him. Go ahead, Tashay. Brother Broncos, TNT, we're off and running. Yes, you remember the Bo Nix game, or I call it the Bo Nix game because it's the game he didn't play in, and probably recent history looks like Jared Stidham game. That's right. But I mean, Bo Nix wins that game and it would have been Broncos-Seahawks. It wasn't. Would have been a Super Bowl 48 rematch. I hope I bought you enough time there, Tony.

Go ahead, Rams.

Rams.

Correct.

Bears.

Correct.

Good on.

Uh, are we gonna run the table here?

Uh, we, we might. Uh, I want to leave some of the harder ones not for, for Jeremy towards the end here. Uh, which ones do I want to pick?

Buddy Budowski cracked the whip.

They're taking speed this up, boys. This up, fellas. I know you know, Tony. You've got them all in there.

Yeah. Uh, I'm gonna go Green Bay Packers.

Shit, that's actually the one next.

Um, okay.

Uh, by the way, I'll say it again while you stall here. If Micah Parsons doesn't get hurt, I can make a pretty good case that the Packers go to the Super Bowl.

Maybe, but, but maybe not. Seattle was a team of destiny all year, Dave.

They lost to the Browns.

Destiny.

I don't care about the team of destiny.

Jeremy, I know you got an answer in there.

It was written.

What are we doing? What are we taking? How much are we going to take?

Thank you.

I just—

you guys were—

you guys were riffing.

We were riffing.

Yeah.

It took you forever to find Bills.

How many—

how many teams have we done?

I mean, listen, Tony, please.

I'm going to go with— I'm going to go again. I'm going to stay in the— in the NFC. The Carolina Panthers.

Nice.

There you go. As did them Rams.

Yeah, they did.

That was one I completely forgot about.

Yes, Texans is correct.

Atta boy!

Whoa, they played the Patriots in the wild card.

Yeah, in case you missed last week's Football America, park our cars in the same garage, beware those Texans. He actually predicted to go to the Super Bowl. I'm like, really?

Wow, I like them.

I missed that episode of Football America. Nate Tice is very good. Um, all right. My team outside of the Shield, the Jacksonville Jaguars. Lost to the Bills in a stinker of a game from, uh, from Trevor Lawrence.

Took you that long to get a Florida-based team? All right. Hmm. Hmm. He says, hmm, just going around. I mean, I'm— we're gonna have to impose a timer on this. Yeah, this is a disgrace.

It really is.

All right. I'm Buddy Badowski.

Pass.

That's a little bit more.

That's a loss. I went first.

You got to get one.

That's a loss.

Hold on a second.

Did he just say pass?

He just said pass.

Pass goes back to you.

Pass the ball to me.

So?

Get one. That's an L. That's it. That's it. Tony's on the board.

Tony's on the board.

I went first.

Doesn't he have to get one? Okay, but Tony then at least has to come up with one. Yeah.

Yeah. You got to.

You got to.

For the win.

What? For the— yeah, I don't know. I'm, I'm shocked.

It's the quarterback league and he just passed.

Yeah, that's right, but it was wrong still.

Uh, San Francisco.

Damn it. Yes, the 49ers!

What about the team? I don't know if you guys heard, I'm, I'm from the banks of the Three Rivers. They have an iconic brand, uh, as their pro football team. You may have heard of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

How about that?

Okay, the Chargers.

Damn.

Also, you might have heard about the team from the other side of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia. But okay, we move on.

Ah, damn, Chargers. That was nice. Both of those, I was sticking around. I couldn't, I couldn't remember.

Did you think that the Carolina Panthers made the Super Bowl? Would that have been ever a guess? The Super Bowl?

Excuse me, the playoffs? No, I, I, that's one I, I was aware of, but it definitely wasn't one that I was going to first because I was like, oh, let me get easy ones off the board.

I had totally forgotten about that. That game was in Carolina.

Panthers had a great game, if you remember correctly.

They were, they were to the wire.

Matthew Stafford pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

All right, that's, uh, this was, this was 6 months ago and your, your memory's already hazy.

I'm now 34, 31 years than I was. I forget.

Started.

You need this training camp.

No, Dave, I forget movies the second I walk out of a theater. I'm like, what happened in that movie? Like, you can ask me a question about a movie, the second I walk out of it I'll be like, I have no idea.

Realized in, in this exercise and many others is that I care more about my fantasy team than anything in actual football these days. And I've been out of that. And I, I have been so focused on Major League Baseball.

Okay, listen, your excuses—

he is— he passed the ball.

He passed the ball yourself.

I know I've embarrassed myself. This is what I do. This is why I have anxiety.

All right, all right. Because of Mr. Lister, which you just started playing 4 minutes ago. That's the reason for your enduring anxiety.

I'm sweating.

I think they have medication for that. Here we go. This one will please you then, Tashay, based on what you just said, as we go into round 2 of another exciting episode of TNT. Here we go. You're up, 10-day Tony. Receiving rush touchdown leaders from 2025. You go first. Top 10. I have the top 10 names, most touchdowns scored on the ground and/or receiving. You're up, Tony. Okay, so, so just to clarify, this is not running backs that have both, it's, it's wide receivers that have, and any human being who played in a pro football game in 2025 that counted as a part of the regular season, okay, who scored a touchdown on the ground or by reception, is eligible for this list. I have the top 10 before me.

Top 10, okay, uh, I'll start, uh, with Christian McCaffrey.

Christian McCaffrey is correct. And in a way, I'm kind of surprised he's only third on this list. In my brain, I thought he had led the league in, right?

Yeah, me too, which is why he was the first name I was thinking.

Ah, too bad.

Uh, Kenneth Walker.

K9.

Kenneth Walker is not gonna be on—

he's not gonna be in the top 10 rushing touchdowns.

Wait, is this—

wait, hold on, this is combined. This is receiving.

Oh, okay, it's Charbonnet retorts, Charbonnet, right?

But he was—

wait, I didn't know you meant rushing and even though we talked about it. No, I thought, you know, I got braided.

I thought explanation that there was a list of 20 names, 10 receiving, 10 rushing. And so I went with one that I thought was on rushing.

When I, when I said nothing of the sort, you're right. Still jump to that anyway. Okay, listen, what do you say? Davante, back to me, man of peace. What do you say, Tony? Mulligan for him here?

Yeah, I'll give him a mulligan. He can replay.

Well, I just said Devon Achan, so I sure as fuck hope I'm right.

Well, now you've lost twice. You somehow managed— you somehow managed to lose a game that only had 2 rounds 3 times.

Can I— can I go? Can I go again?

Just flex on me.

Easy.

We'll start.

I would like to see how many of these Tony can get.

We'll start. Jamar Chase had a big year.

No, not—

he was not top 10 in receiving.

I should have passed.

He should— wow. Okay. Uh, Jameer Gibbs.

Yes, Jameer Gibbs.

That was going to be my other one.

Of course, Jameer Gibbs.

Um, wow.

I love Buddy Budowski asking as he looks directly at the list, like, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, Jameer Gibbs had a sick year. He won me a fantasy league.

Not to make this a crossover episode, but this is exactly what Ethan does on the Pitch Clock, which is that he, he shames us for not knowing answers.

How did you not know Mike Scioscia was on the 1990 National League All-Star Team?

He creates the trivia game, has the answer key in front of him, and then you're an idiot.

You don't make us feel so dumb if we don't know a singular answer when we get 14 out of the 18 people from the 1990 All-Star Game.

Whatever.

I feel like an idiot here.

Now go back. You, you mentioned a show, Pitch Clock. I'm not familiar with it.

Yeah, baseball show. You can watch it on the Levitard YouTube channel.

It has its own playlist.

Episodes drop at 3 PM on Thursdays, so you should go ahead and watch that. For fun.

We play trivia and we talk to an expert of Major League Baseball. All right. Okay.

So Tony is the winner, and I am, as his prize, granting him the requirement that he choose a pro football team to root for between now and kickoff. I mean, it's— it's— you can't have it this way. You can't do it. I, I, I tisk tisk at people in New York who pretend like it's okay to root for the Yankees and the Metropolitans. And people who are like sort of football casuals in LA are like, I don't know, whichever one of the blue and gold teams wins is good with me. No, no, choose, choose. RJ Harvey.

Oh God, he just wanted to say a UCF.

Yeah, he's on the program.

He just wanted to get a UCF Knight in.

Well, I will say the first, like, how many years he played.

Jonathan Taylor's number one. Derrick Henry, obviously. Davante Adams, Josh Allen scored 14 touchdowns. So did James Cook. Really?

Oh, because they just— because I had James Cook in fantasy. And the most frustrating thing is they just give Josh Allen the ball at the 1-yard line every time.

He doesn't give them—

he just runs it in and you lose 6 points on your fantasy team every time.

I'll admit I wouldn't have gotten Adams. Well, maybe I would have come up— Josh Jacobs, I think I would have missed. Travis ATN had 13.

Really?

Oh, he had a stretch there of like 3 or 4 weeks where he was ridiculous.

Yeah, he had some good—

I would have gotten Davante Adams because he was like Pete Johnson in the mid-'80s, the, uh, the 378-pound running back that would make 1-yard touchdown runs for the Cincinnati Bengals. Um, but, but, uh, Javonte Williams is also— oh, that's a good one in there a lot. And the other guy— so Davante Adams, if he wasn't catching those 1-yard ins from Stafford last year, Kyron Williams scoring them.

So that—

so there's your, uh, your top 10 there. Great stuff, fellas. Good times. Let's do it again. Clearly you need the work.

Yeah, I'd like— I'd like to not do it again, but I like you enough that I'll be here.

So he's got to do it again. He's got to do it again. He's getting to Washington general situation.

Tony and Tashay, TNT, The Competition will continue. Talk to you on The Lebatard Show, Pitch Clock. Make sure you're checking them both out. Thanks, fellas.

You're the best.

By the way, Dave, you messed up. It's Travis Achan Jr. Now you're gonna get it wrong. I'm gonna get it wrong. It's just gonna be a thing all year, but we'll, we'll get it right eventually.

Or option 3, did he get it wrong? And, and somebody has to let him know about it.

I think he got it wrong by not correcting people the first time. And now, now we're in this situation.

But as I've mentioned before, and I'm gonna tell you again, I remember when I was like, I don't know, 20 or so years old. I was in Europe and I went to see in Amsterdam, because you know, I'm a fancy man, I went to the museum and it was Vincent van Gogh, of course, I'd say he's their greatest star painter. And people said, "No, no, it's Van Gogh is the correct pronunciation." And then for like a decade, people were saying like Van Gogh. And then a decade after that, people were like, "Oh no, it turns out that was all wrong. It is Van Gogh." And then all those pretentious asses have to eat it for the rest of their lives that they were correcting people, Van Gogh. I'm not going to play that game. ATN, A-chan, listen, he's from the Bayou, so now let's bring in somebody neatly who also is familiar with the ways of the Bayou. He's an LSU alum, a longtime Dallas Cowboys beat writer, now co-host of The Athletic Football Show. And as I told him before we got going here, I just sat next to a guy at a ball game who was like, oh, you're a football podcaster, do you know Robert Mays?

And I'm Yeah, yeah, I met Robert Mays. What's that have to do with me being a football podcast? Has nothing to do. Well, that's my favorite show. I'm like, well, great, bully for you. Then go listen to— go, go listen to The Athletic football show. But make some time for Football America too. Anyway, I got distracted. I'm talking about the man here who is now hitched to the esteemed Football American Carmen Vitale. He's Dave Hellman. Welcome to Football America, fella. How are you?

I'm phenomenal. I couldn't ask for a better intro than that. And also, I'm just gonna— I'm just gonna take credit for that wonderful man being familiar with my show, because usually when I introduce myself, it's just blank stares. And by the way, nothing more like humbling and humiliating than saying the phrase, 'I'm a podcaster.' Like, I just— I just— you just mentioned I got married, so I was like talking to friends and family and people that I want to make a good impression on at my wedding and having to say out loud, I'm a podcaster. It's just like not— it's not my favorite feeling in the world, but it's, it's fine. We're okay.

Would you rather say that or that you're a graduate of the University of Florida?

You know, uh, I'll take, I'll take podcaster because podcasting, it's, it's paying the bills. I'm doing okay. And, but yeah, um, there's probably— it's funny you didn't ask this— there's probably an alternate timeline where I do go to the University of Florida, but I wasn't.

And you would have been a damn lot better for it, let me tell you. Listen, we— I went to the University of Florida too. We ended up in the same spot, podcasting.

So I'm glad we're— Buddy Budowski, please settle down.

Don't attack the guest. I'm glad we're taking this to the air because it's like, I got— I, I don't have hate in my heart for the University of Florida. And I think that's interesting. I'm not even— well, Here's the thing. When you said you didn't like LSU, I was like, all right, we got a Bama grad or an Ole Miss grad. That's probably what we're dealing with here. My opinion of Florida is completely based on how we're doing against Florida.

Right.

So that's the better insult. Good for you, Hellman.

He is a threat to you.

You are not a threat to him.

But Florida and LSU have been a very intense rivalry. I mean, for a long time now, but especially since the Tim Tebow era at UF. But also now the SEC is dumb and took LSU and Tennessee off of Florida's annual schedule. So two of our best rivalries are no longer annual rivalries. It's terrible. All right.

I do want to talk pro football, but go ahead. Have at it, buddy. Let's weigh in on the SEC. I don't know if you heard. Gators and Tigers fans are all going to die. We're all going to die. That's what I heard from the SEC.

That was music to my ears. Lane Kiffin really speaking my nihilistic language at SEC Media Days. No, you You're right, though. I mean, it's always a great game. It's definitely a rivalry.

I just—

LSU has had bigger fish to fry over the last, like, 5 years.

That's fair. That's fair.

But yeah, here's— here's hoping it can get back to some of those, like, juggernaut battles from the 2010s because those were a lot of fun.

Weren't those a dandy, that 2012 game? But I do want to just mention— you mentioned Lane Kiffin speaking your language. Our new head coach, John Sumrall, speaking my language. Did you see this quote, guys, from SEC Media Day? Where Jon Sumrall said, "When I grew up, I knew of— I only dreamed of 3 leagues: the AFC, the NFC, and the SEC." That's a badass quote. That's a way to get yourself in with the fan base feeling good. Talk up the SEC, baby.

I do think, Dave, legitimately, a recurring thing for me is that in my travels across football America, that it is true that Saturdays mean more than Sundays do. It does just mean more, at least more than pro football, to SEC/ACC SEC-ish kind of territory. Is that why, or is it just my perception, it's not as meaningful to the nation when, say, Tampa Bay wins the Super Bowl? I feel like those only count for half in a lot of football fans' heads. Does that make sense? Am I—

is that—

is that mentality of SEC fans permeating my sense?

No, I think that's fair. And I mean, you think about the franchises in the Southeast.

East.

You've got the Falcons, Saints, and Bucs. I don't— no offense, I don't really consider Miami the Southeast. Miami is its own thing. Miami is not— Miami is not a southern city. And so you've got Tampa, New Orleans, Atlanta, Charlotte, Jacksonville. Jacksonville. Couple of these are really new franchises, and the rest of them— obviously the Bucs have had success and the Saints have had success, the Falcons have been to a couple Super Bowls, but in the early foundational period of their histories, they weren't very good. And so like, they're 60 years behind the SEC powerhouses when they were created. And then for the Bucs and the Saints, you've got to wait 40 years to experience the type of success that really solidifies a fan base.

I bet a lot of young people don't know, Dave, that the Saints— I mean, how many years was it before they had a winning record? It was, it was a weird thing that went into at least the '80s. I, I remember— I'm trying to think of how deep into the '80s that got, that the Saints had been around for decades and hadn't had a winning record once. That was—

the Dome Patrol and the Jim Mora Saints were like the first Saints teams that were worth being proud of, and that was like the late '80s. And then, Dave, the Saints won their first playoff game when I was in like 8th grade.

I'm—

yeah, I'm 37. The Saints won their first playoff game in like the year 2000, I want to say.

So I'm looking at their Wikipedia, like, year-by-year results right now. The first time they won, they went 8-8 twice in '79 and '83. They went 12-3 in '87 and lost in the Wild Card playoffs. Their first win in the playoffs was in 2000. They beat the Rams in the Wild Card game 31-28, and then they lost the divisional playoffs at the Vikings. They got crushed 34-16.

I, I remember Morten Andersen making a kick in the Dome to get them to 8-8, and it was cause for great celebration. I don't remember if that was '79 or '83. Either way, it points to the fact that I'm old. Um, so Dave, we had a good conversation last week with Nate Theis about him being bullish on both Texas teams, um, in the NFL. And, um, I, I've gotten a little over my skis about the Cowboys too, and it's led me to maybe not considering, but I feel like this you know, AJ Brown's getting traded away notwithstanding, I feel like there's a weird lack of conversation around the Eagles right now who remain formidable. Talk me into them being a Super Bowl contender and then talk me out of them being one.

Where the Eagles are right now reminds me exactly of where they were heading into the 2024 season. And I remember because the vibes were so bad in Philly, they had to let go of both of their coordinators. They went from whatever it was, they were like 10-2 or 11-2 and just lost a ton of games and went out sad in the wildcard round, and everybody was super down on them. Oh, the vibes will never be the same. And then they were just this dominant Super Bowl champion. I'm a little less willing to go whole hog without AJ Brown just because to some degree I think you're betting on a little bit of an unknown to get back to that real juggernaut status, whether it's Makai Lemon becoming a rookie sensation Or maybe Dontavian Wicks finally makes the leap that so many of us have been hoping he makes. Having said that, if the offensive line is healthy and if Sean Mannion is the new offensive coordinator in Philly, is remotely capable, I absolutely think this is still a hell of an offense. We already— and by the way, we already know the defense is going to be phenomenal with all the young talent that they have with Vic Fangio.

Tariq Willens signing on at cornerback, I think, is one of the most underrated additions of the entire offseason. Defense is going to be phenomenal if the offensive line is remotely healthy. And I think people forget, like, Landon Dickerson was beat to hell last year. He debated retirement. Cam Juergens dealt with injury as well. Jordan Mailata had a downtick year. If those guys get back to being remotely what we associate them with, I think the Eagles are going to be a-okay. And as long as I'm singing their praises, I think DeVonta Smith not being a bigger deal in the league consciousness is more about opportunity than ability. Like, when you're sharing targets in with AJ Brown in a run-heavy offense, there's only so much ball to go around. But without AJ there, I love DeVonta Smith. I think of him as like an elite wide receiver, even if, you know, he doesn't have the postseason accolades to go along with it. So I'm super sky high on Philly. And then if I was trying to talk you out of it how good is Sean Mannion at his job? Because we've seen what this looks like when a good offensive coordinator like Kellen Moore takes the reins in Philly.

And then we've seen multiple times, we've seen what it looks like when an offensive coordinator who maybe wasn't ready for it was the one calling the shots, and it typically ends with a wild card exit. And I will say, I think the Eagles are good enough that even if Sean Mannion's not very good at his job, this is still a playoff-caliber team. But but if he is good, you could be really cooking with gas. And if he's not, this could be another disappointing year for Philly. I think it's really that simple.

I— well, I, I— to me, to go, uh, simple off of what you just said there, to me it really is the offensive line and its health and how effective it is. This has now run for more than a decade with Philly's strength being the line of scrimmage, and probably leans a little stronger or more consistent On the offensive side of things, by the way, Jalen Carter— I have the Jenga theory. If you remove the wrong piece from the equation, the whole thing will implode. Jalen Carter is as much a Jenga piece as there is on the defensive side in the NFC, I think. Yeah, Lane Johnson almost retired too. So it's all built around that. By the way, your DeVonta Smith take agrees with Geno Fuentes, who is also hip on him going into this season. More broadly, I was going to ask you about where the I am confident, Nate Tice is confident, everybody is confident in the Cowboys offense. It is how much, you know, it— is it a Rorschach thing that you're looking at? Do you like the Cowboys defense? But more broadly, do you feel like— because, you know, the Texans are mighty defensively, it feels like, going into this year, and a lot of teams that you would point at, um, do you anticipate in the ebb and flow of the X's and O's this year?

Defense is to go heavier than they've been going the last couple of years, or, or do you think they go lighter than where they've been tracking? And is that a reaction to— will that be dictated by defense or offense in 2026? Will the offenses intend to run the ball more as we get into the season, or will they intend to throw the ball more than they have the last couple of years?

I think the breadcrumbs were laid out for us during the NFL Draft, and obviously not all of these guys are going to be rookie superstars, but we saw the run on tight ends during the NFL Draft. We don't have— we don't have to talk about Jacksonville prioritizing Nate Bowe-Kircher. I know that took over the discourse for like 6 weeks, but there was a run of like— and, and it was a very deep, very impressive tight end class, but the NFL prioritized drafting these guys early. They started going in the 50s of the draft and it went all the way through up until the 4th or 5th round where I don't have the number in front of me, but upward of a dozen, like 16 of these guys got drafted by teams that are looking for them to play meaningful roles. And again, that's not to say you should draft these guys in fantasy or that they're all going to be household names by the end of the year. But I do think NFL offenses are trying to get bigger, trying to get more flexible, and being able to run the ball without giving up having something in the passing game.

So I, I think we in the media are typically behind these trends a little bit, and we notice them after they start to play out on the field. But I, I think this is going to keep moving this way, where teams are trying to get bigger without giving up as much athleticism, which leads to more tight ends on the field I think a lot of teams saw what the Rams did with their 13-personnel package and what the Bears did with their tight ends, and I think more and more people are going to be trying to replicate that. And a few defenses are probably blessed with the personnel where you can do both, you know, where like you can be athletic while also being big enough to deal with that. But I think that's going to be the sweet spot, is trying to combat offenses doing that that without giving up too much in the way of speed, because that's what they want you to do. Obviously, they want you to be big and slow so they can get all these explosives in the passing game. So not everybody has a Nick Emenwurie or a Kyle Hamilton, but I think—

but it's the must-have item though. That's that. Yeah, it's, you know, as you say, and Caleb Downs in the Copycat League especially, I, I cannot get over that Caleb Downs made it all the way to the Cowboys. I mean, how— as a Cowboys— am I right in saying that you keep an eye on the Cowboys and root for them, or no? Are you just a straight-up journalist, objective-minded reporter?

Root is a strong word. I have a very interest— I have a very interesting relationship with the Cowboys. I mean, I keep tabs on them for starters. I just— I know all the people that cover that team. I've been gone for a little while now, but I still have a lot of relationships in the building. Be it with— there's still, you know, there's still a few players there from my time that are still playing there, and, and just people that work in the building. Like, there are a lot of people there that I would like to see succeed. Um, but like, in terms of rooting for the Cowboys, it's like a bridge too far for me because, again, I grew up a Saints fan, which Cowboys-Saints is not like a rivalry in the league consciousness. But Saints fans really don't like the Cowboys. Like, it's— if you grow up in Louisiana, and when I was a kid, the Cowboys were on local TV.

I would imagine they cast a pretty big shadow that reached out over Louisiana.

Sure. The year the Saints won the Super Bowl, the northern Louisiana TV stations were having weekly debates like, do we televise the Saints or do we televise the Cowboys? It was a big thing. So I think it's like, it's too ingrained in my DNA to dislike the Cowboys to say that I'm like a fan of the Cowboys. But I covered the team for 10 years. There are a lot of people there that I want to see succeed.

So when push comes to shove, I only ask it because I like to see— because what people love to do online, the number one thing— well, you're biased. That's what everybody wants to accuse everybody else on social media of being, and that's where they came up with their opinion because of bias. So that's, that's why I ask it. So, okay, Caleb Downs and the Cowboys defense, how good or bad do you think it is this season?

You know what's funny is, and there are a few people in our industry that I love and respect more than my guy Nate. I think, I think the world of the work that he does. I'm excited about the Cowboys. I really am. And I think they could make some noise this year, but Super Bowl projections, I'm like, can we, can we get them back to having a winning record before we're talking about the first Super Bowl appearance in 30 years? But man, it it, it is intoxicating when you look at what that offense was capable of last year and then you look at what they did on defense. And they, they absolutely added some meaningful pieces. I think people forget that Quinnen Williams is there because he got there halfway through a lost season. Uh, I think— I'm not trying to tell anybody that Rashan Gary is an All-Pro at this point in his career, but he's absolutely an improvement on what they had.

He is your guy who has to lead the team in sacks. Sacks, that's not probably a great formula. But in this context, yes, he's, he's just—

he's probably a plus for that defense in the context of them being historically bad last year. He's absolutely a plus. And then, you know, obviously Caleb, Caleb Downs speaks for himself. I think Kobe Durant at corner is an underrated signing. I think a lot of people are down on him because the Rams defense struggled in the playoffs, but for the most part, Kobe Durant was a nice piece of that Rams defense last year. So So there are pieces that I like here, but is it enough?

Like, is—

first of all, even though I like Kobe Durant, is the cornerback position deep enough? I'm not convinced. They traded for Dee Winters. He's a perfectly serviceable player, but it's Dee Winters. And really, I think we have to call him the idea of DeMarvion Overshown at linebacker, because like, it's, it's an idea of his athleticism and his upside. The reality has not been close to realized yet. And so I look at it and I'm like, all right, this might not be the 32nd best defense in the NFL this year, but is, is the 20th best defense enough to get where you're trying to go? Well, is it even realistic to think—

am I overstating it to say Quinnen Williams commands more attention of multiple, um, blockers? And this should liberate those pieces like that. These, the, these, the, the a, uh, much-coveted hybrid player, and I feel like they have two of them on that defense now with Caleb Downs joining.

I mean, Caleb Downs, Jalen Thompson is absolutely a guy worth mentioning and a guy that I think we're gonna— I mean, he's been an underrated player for years, but just by virtue of playing on the Cowboys, I think a lot of people are going to be a lot more familiar with him as this year goes along. And if Chris— again, borrowing the line from Sean Manning, and how fitting because he's a former Eagles coach— but if Christian Parker lives up to the reputation that he has gained around the league. And a lot of people who know a lot of ball are really, really excited about this guy and what he can bring. And if, if Christian Parker really is that guy, and if Caleb Downs remotely lives up to the hype, I could see it. I'm not saying it's completely out of the question. It's— and, and I will say, Dave, this is probably a little bit of my own PTSD from covering the Cowboys. I've just heard this song and dance a few too many times for me to just jump on right now in July. I would like to see what it looks like before I think they're capable of going to the Super Bowl.

Well, so much of it has to do with the neighborhood, and really, I mean, Lane Johnson— talk about dependability. He is not that. He is a Hall of Fame guy, but You know, a piece like that, and he's not the only one, as you mentioned, on that Eagles offensive line. Who's going to take the division then? The Cowboys? There's a chance here. The only historical vague pushback I can give you is like, I don't know if I can play that. Can they get a winning record first? Pete Carroll goes to Seattle, 7 wins his first season with Pete Carroll, was like the 6th choice in Seattle, and then he, you know, gets them to the playoffs with 7 wins, and then they go on their run. I kind of see— if I blur my eyes, I can kind of see something like that happen, happening in Big D. All right, the other factor is John Harbaugh, but I don't want to get into that right now, what, what, what fairy dust people anticipate him sprinkling on the Giants to make them relevant this year. It has everything to do with Jaxson Dart. But I want to ask you this more importantly.

So you're a long-time guy, you're LSU guy, and then you spend a decade in Dallas. And now because of, of your marriage status, you now have moved to Chicago, Illinois. Better food, Chicago, Illinois or Dallas, Texas? And in fact, let's include New Orleans and let's do it not as overall best, how many good restaurants there are. I'm talking about quality, not quantity here. Like the best foodstuffs. If you go like grilled oysters from New Orleans, and then you go, uh, you know, queso in Dallas, or beef ribs, and then you go deep dish pizza or Italian beef in Chicago, who's your winner? Give me your 1, 2, 3.

This is rude. This is rude of you to put me on the spot like this. I will say this, if you're talking about like what New Orleans brings to the table in terms of of seafood and the local cuisine there, be it Creole, be it Cajun, be it fusion, whatever you're looking for, like that intrinsically New Orleans cuisine, you're not matching that even in a— and like Chicago is a big enough, vibrant enough city. Like there are restaurants here owned by Louisiana locals who know what they're doing and can make you a good étouffée or charbroiled oysters. It's still— it's, it's not gonna touch what you can actually get in New Orleans. So like, if that's what— and people give me crap all the time for being a snob. They're like, oh well, you don't want to order the gumbo here. And I'm like, no, I don't. I can get it better from my friend's mom. Like, I, I'm sorry, I'm spoiled. So like, you're not touching the intrinsically New Orleans cuisine that that city has to offer. You just can't do it.

But I love it there. I've always— my dream is, my bucket list thing that I would love to do one summer is in the month of August August. I would live there for one month or like 6 weeks and be like Stanley Kowalski and go out in white tank top t-shirts and shoot pool and get drunk and get into fights.

Please, please don't go in August.

No, that's what I want to be there. I want my emotions as raw as they can be.

Yeah, it's soupy down there that time of year.

Yeah.

If you want to live in a bowl of soup, go to New Orleans in August.

I just want to be out on the streets doing that.

Go in October. Go in October. It'll still be hot. It's hot all the time.

Um, Chicago, Dallas then. Well, okay, I worked in, by the way, a Cajun raw bar in Chicago, uh, right after I graduated from Indiana.

Raw, raw oysters outside of like— if you're not on the Gulf Coast, I don't want to hear it.

Okay.

Dallas, Dallas is underrated, but I read— so I, I've lived in LA and Chicago, and I just think Chicago is a cheat code because it is one of those cities where you can just get a world-class version of almost whatever you want.

Like, there is a good version of every cuisine here, and that's on top of New Orleans failings, that New Orleans doesn't have like good pizza, which is weird.

New Orleans is— I mean, like, I know they— I know we have an NFL team, but New Orleans is a small city. I mean, New Orleans is just not You're not competing with the population and the demographics. There's just nowhere. I thought New Orleans was a big city because that's where I'm from. And then I moved to Dallas and I was like, holy crap. Like I was living in a town my entire life and I had no idea. So it's hard to compare just because Dallas and Chicago and other cities like it, you just have such a population, right?

It's, it's, well, that's what America has over every other country in the world. As I always say, its greatest virtue is is that we have at worst the second best version of your food. Italian food might be better in Italy, probably is. I'm not going to make a big fight about it, but at worst, America has the second best Italian food. The second best sushi is certainly in America. And so it goes. If you have it, let's say— I don't want to be presumptuous about you and what, what you and Carmen do with yourselves going forward, but let's say you do make a baby and that baby is 18 years old and about to go off into the world, and they say— and, and that baby says, Papa, where should I live, New Orleans, Dallas, or Chicago? What's your counsel?

Oh man, this is probably— this is realer than— and who they root for.

And, and a major element of that is they are going to have to root for those teams that are there.

This is, this is bleaker than you want to get, but like Chicago Saints, Tigers Bears, Northwestern, or I guess I'll say that Chicago is not in any danger of disappearing, so I would be like, live in Chicago, but I will raise you— you will be an LSU fan. And Carmen's on board with LSU, like, she loves LSU, so you will be an LSU fan. And then honestly, at this point in my life, that's really all I care about. Like, sport— pro sports is my career. And so I'll say, you take it whichever direction you want. Like, you can be a Bears fan if you want. If you want to be a Saints fan, that's really cool, and I can impart some of my memories and experience onto you. But really, as long as you're an LSU fan, that's, that's really the only non-negotiable for me.

That's my, that's my thing with the Steelers. We're a root, you know, take on any hockey team, baseball team you want, And in fact, I'm a little more open-minded than you. You're allowed to root for an NFL team that isn't the Steelers. Just don't do it under my roof. When it gets close to 1 p.m. Eastern on Sunday, beat it. You're not— you're not welcome here. You know, if you're going to be rooting for the Rams or for the Chargers or something, do that on your own time. Not under my roof. Not under my watch.

As is your right.

Thank you.

Dave Hellman, you're a delight. Keep up the great work. It really is one of the essential podcasts out there for a football fan. You guys are doing great work over there at The Athletic. Best to Carmen. We will get her on this show if she's, if she's willing to do so. In the meantime, I'm sure she's running through the streets celebrating the return of Patrick Kane to the Chicago Blackhawks as a man of justice. And what is right spiritually in the world, I do like Patrick Kane finishing his career in that Hawks sweater where he was the star when they brought in those Cups. So, uh, enjoy all that. The only thing you, you're not able to enjoy— I can't wish for you to do it because it would be a bridge too far— the Chicago wiener. The Chicago wiener is the worst. I don't understand it.

What?

They have good taste in food up there for the most part in Chicago. I lived there for a long time and I never understood the Chicago wiener. How say you Okay.

I'm not a big Chicago dog guy either. And when I moved here, I was like, well, that's kind of weird. Why are we eating a salad on our hot dog? But what I discovered when I got here was the Polish, which is a, it's a Polish sausage with mustard and grilled onions on it. And when I realized that that is, that is every bit as big of a deal in Chicago as the Chicago dog. So now when I go to the hot dog stand, I just order a Polish and all is right with the world. It's fantastic.

I will not stand for this. I will not stand for this. For this. I will not stand for this Chicago dog slander. Chicago dogs are delicious. No, they're delicious.

Tomato?

No, they're delicious. They're so good.

I, I don't—

go ahead, Dave.

Sorry, I just, I just, I don't need a salad on my hot dog. I already—

it's not a salad on a hot dog, dude. It's a hot dog with a bunch of shit in it, and the bunch of shit is delicious.

Like, it's what your wiener— if you know what you're doing, your wiener is grilled. You don't, you don't boil it out. Whoa.

Whoa, phrasing, cut that out.

Careful, clip that. No, but seriously, you go listen, Dave, me and you, we'll go hit Wrigley, we'll get, we'll get in the bleachers, we'll grab a couple Old Styles and we'll go to the little stand and we'll make us a little, you know, a little Chicago dog, some relish, some pickles, some peppers. You don't need the tomato, get the tomato out of there. A little mustard, some celery salt.

Left at my advanced age, I'm not wasting one of them on a Chicago Chicago, we know, dude, this is so foul.

This is so foul. And Chicago, Chicago, great food city. The Chicago dog, top among them. I, I didn't like— when I first tried a Chicago dog, I didn't necessarily like any of those things, but when you put them all together, there's something about it. It doesn't make any sense. You get a whole pickle in there. It's delicious. This is slanderous. I will not stand for this.

You know what, y'all, it's, it's the best time of year to be in Chicago.

Y'all come out.

It's and we'll do a taste test. I'm fine with that.

Okay, you know, I like that idea.

I'd love to do it. All right, Dave Hellman, uh, uh, great, uh, thanks for making the time for us, and, uh, come back soon, won't you?

Anytime, fellas. I appreciate it.

Good times there, good times. All right, listen, Football America, this goes without saying, but it's the democracy, or is it a republic? I don't have time to get into that right now. What I do want to get get into is your thoughts, my fellow Football Americans. And here to help us do it— I want to see if we can do this on the regular, as the kids say— I'm going to bring in to help us with what's going on on social media in Football America, what the people are buzzing about, with the guy who handles all matters social here in Football America. It's our old pal Randy. And there he is. For those looking at him, you see that mustache? It's kind of Gorman Thomas, circa 1982 center fielder for the Brew Crew.

I hope I get it. I get Gorman Thomas all the time.

You do, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

Or do you get Civil War guy? Like, you kind of have that. Like, should we call— we have to figure out a name for you, like Captain Randy or Major Randy.

You got to be really careful there, Dave. You got to be really careful. What, when you go into the Civil War division? No, just, you know, continue. Gorman Thomas is good though. Gorman Thomas is a great comp.

What, that's too controversial to invoke that there was a Civil War?

You know, what side of the Civil War is Randy going to be on? It's important. He's wearing a Missouri jacket right now, you know.

Okay, again, I don't think we need to— we need to dig for fear of what this answer might be, but let's move forward. How are you, Randy? Congratulations on your World Cup. I know you enjoyed it.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. I've watched— there was a guy that they had in a box in Times Square for some kind of brand that was like the certified World Cup watcher. And I think in the next World Cup, that should maybe be me. I did the same thing just here by myself with my wife watching me yell at the TV. But other than that, doing pretty good. A little sad that it's over.

Yeah, well, you went also— you got You got to a game to see, by the way, I said this to you offline. I know we have seen much in major American sports, some chicanery, but nothing on the level of the World Cup in FIFA, how corrupt it is. I mean, there's never been anything like that. Like a head of state calls in to the commissioner of the tournament, is like, hey, I want you to make that guy eligible. Like, okay. Okay, like that, that it, it's so crazy. So let's, let's, let's wash off the, the soccer.

By the way, Dave, that's not the first time that's happened in the World Cup, just the most recent.

I thought that was the whole point, was that it had never happened before.

No, it had happened.

No, it was just the first time the Americans did it, so people got really, really upset about it.

But, you know, well, the guy who benefited theoretically from it, Balogun or whatever, he said, well, that, that kind of spoiled our chances. It got in our heads a little, or gotten totally— whatever, we're not talking about soccer. Randy, what do you bring to us this week? What was your question for Football America?

We asked Football America to deliver their hottest takes of the 2026 football season, and they have delivered. Great. Starting off, we have Cerrone Battle, and he says the Bills, Ravens, Bengals, and Chiefs will all miss the playoffs. Mahomes, Lamar, Burrow, and Allen are all going to come up short The windows have officially closed.

That would be the hottest take I've ever heard.

Well, not that crazy. 3 of them missed it last year, so this would make— this would be, wow, even crazier. And when Allen still did it, it's crazy. I just thought, you know, there's 16 teams, so 25% of the non-playoff— or 25% of the conference, um, would be those guys, and they're all going to miss That's it. Yeah, I just can't say— I think I, I called hot takes for a reason, man.

By the way, you mentioned—

what am I arguing with hot takes for? Yes, of course, have your hot takes, please enjoy them. Although I, I do want to say for the record, among those teams, I am bullish on the, on the Bengals.

Yeah, you mentioned that, that, you know, 3 of those 4 guys missed the playoffs. Josh Allen was the only one that made it, and he still didn't get to the Super Bowl. Just want to remind everybody about that.

I mean, that's the thing that happened.

It did happen. And as a reminder, I know everybody knows it already, but I mean, they're 30 years old and neither Lamar Jackson nor Josh Allen has been to a Super Bowl yet. Everybody stop announcing, oh, Josh Allen's gonna win multiple Super Bowls. Is he? Definitely. I mean, I don't know. These— I can't say that.

Cannot say that for sure.

Randy, next up.

A Sunny Brainstorm says, Tua Tagovailoa will start all season. Win the division and a playoff game.

Oh, I told y'all, I told y'all, I've been saying that all offseason. He's needed a change of scenery. He's got better receiving options. He's got a better running game, probably a better defense at this point. Watch out for Tua.

The part— the, the particular element of that hot take that I am most skeptical of is that he would play all 17 games based on his track record of health. Otherwise, I can see that. Still a bum division, everybody.

I was going to say the Panthers made the playoffs last year.

Why not?

But yeah, Dave, are we sure he's going to be healthy for 17 games?

But they're, they're flawed. The Bucs are flawed too.

Yes, I do think Tua wins the starting job, though. No doubt about that. Sorry, Randy.

Andrew Scherf says Kyler Murray will throw 40 touchdowns in Minnesota this season.

Dave, this is all you, bud. You've been high on these Vikes. You've been high on Kyler Murray. This is all you right here. 40 touchdowns though.

I like that a lot. I'd love to see the splits of guys who throw 40-plus touchdowns and also run the ball a lot.

I—

that would—

that I could see 40 total touchdowns.

Yeah, you could cannibalize yourself, right?

But I—

yes, I, I think that the thing with the Vikings that's going on right now is, as I've said before, you know, Shanahan has Trey Lance and KOC made a mistake with J.J. McCarthy. Or did he? I am not willing to close the book on J.J. McCarthy just yet, but okay, so he got that one wrong. And so now we, we see him as mortal. KOC still is a guy who can make an offense go anywhere, I think, in the NFL. And I think this is really— I'm not saying the Vikings are going to the Super Bowl or anything, but really, as a lot of people have pointed that. This is very much like Sam Darnold a year ago. This is the reinvigoration of Kyler Murray's career.

And just for reference, there was only one guy that threw 40 touchdowns last year, was the MVP Matt Stafford, who threw for 46. The next highest total was 34. So 40 is a really hard number to get to.

Tall order. Okay, one more, Randy. Give us one more.

Uh, Charles Wagon says Travis Kelce mid-season retirement.

Hmm, interesting.

That's an interesting one.

I could see him if he feels like, all right, I'm hurting the team now. Yeah, if he—

I don't know that he will be, Dave.

Like, he's still—

I think— I know he's got a major injury to get.

Yeah, I know it's not quite Kelce that we are used to, but he's still productive, and I think they're going to want to get back to doing the Kelce thing this year. I think this— I don't know about midseason, but I do think this is his final year.

Randy, would you rather, as a Chiefs fan, would you rather— and you live in KC and Mizzou and all that— would you rather see the Chiefs with Travis Kelce make a Super Bowl run or in 3 years and 11 months get to be the guy in the box who watches every second of the World Cup?

Um, I, I think I, I think I want to be the guy in the box because I think we can get there. I think that she's— can get there either way. And I don't think I have it.

They don't need your booty in the box.

Yeah, yeah, like they can do it without me. I don't think I can get in the box without a deal with the devil.

I love, I love that bringing up that he looks like a Civil War guy was taboo for Buddy. Very weird. Okay, but going forward though, Major Randy Vision, I think we need you to start doing these in that, like, Andrew Luck style letter back to, back to home.

Oh, that's good. That's a great, that's a great idea.

Make it sing. Make the social media sing. And make sure you're following, um, the— what's best? Lebatard Show on all social media. And dropping us a line, that's how you can hit us up on Football America, or in the comments section on YouTube, Football America with the exclamation point. And/or wherever you find your podcasts, you can leave us a comment there. Randy will find it, and then he will appear on this show, and then maybe he'll read your letter, and then you can brag to all your friends that Major Randy Vision, who in 3 and a half short years is gonna be sitting in a box like a jackass watching TV in front of everybody— so that's in your future if you take the first step and drop us a line. Thanks, Randy. Good times, fella.

Yeah, yeah, appreciate it. One more comment just from a YouTube perspective. As somebody said, I just— this made me think of it, that, that beautiful, uh, the lines you just dropped there was from Michael J7777. He says, as always, no jive in this show.

No, never. That's the cardinal rule, no jive, no jive. And you didn't jive us here today, Randy. Um, all the best to you. We'll talk to you in the next week or two, and we'll talk to you, my fellow Football Americans. Next Tuesday, as we do every Tuesday morning, Gino Fuentes provides some fantasy advice for you with a 7 or 8 minute conversation around this, that, and the other. This coming week we will focus in on the tight ends. Last week we talked wide receivers. Make sure you're checking that out on YouTube and make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you find it. And like I say, we'll be back in a week for more preparation to get you right for NFL 2026 regular season. Until Until then, thanks so much, my fellow football Americans. It's been a thin slice of heaven.