Summer is pretty much my favorite time to be a sports fan. The biggest soccer tournament of the summer just wrapped up, baseball's on every night, racing never takes a weekend off, and my calendar basically revolves around first pitches, green flags, and whatever game everybody's texting about. I realized I'm the MVP of my group. I'm always the friend that says, "Hey, I've got it. I've got a place, I've got some ice cold Miller Lite, I got the TV, I got a big comfy blue leather couch, come on over." That's the behavior of a Miller Time MVP. I almost never watch the big ones alone. I'd much rather be with my friends. And if I am alone, we're texting, we're sipping on our Miller Lites, toasting the day, toasting the big games. For me, Miller Lite is just a part of a big game routine. It's brewed for taste with simple ingredients, clean, refreshing, and easy to drink, especially in the Miami heat. It's a true American pilsner and the original light beer since 1975. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
You're listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states.
So a very passionate discussion, Dave, from the shipping container here over the last couple of minutes, and I think Dave is the one who would have the answer.
Chris Cody, Dave, we're debating back here which day of the week people— not just like us in here, just people in general— are most likely to, you know, get down and dirty, have a little sexy time. Which day of the week would you say is the most common for sex, and which would be the least if we were ranking all the days?
What would be the least? You want us to rank 1 through 7?
We can.
Yeah, I think that's the move. Go ahead, Dave.
Well, I start by saying I think we live in a society. I'm one of my text chains, one of my many text chains. A guy makes the recurring joke like, it's your birthday.
Like, oh, you know what that means?
It's your one time. Not. Well, not in coitus.
Everybody knows.
Okay.
And I think that's a lame joke. And I hope that's not the reality for most fellows out there, that it's some sort of like Ray Romano, everybody loves Ray Romano, was like half the show, which was a, it was a great show, but half the show was devoted to him trying to coerce via language, obviously, his wife into making sweet love.
Weird.
Is that the reality for most people? But if that is the way a lot of people live, Saturday night's gotta be it, right?
It's always the opposite dynamic in Married with Children, right? Peg was always trying to get Al to have sex. He never wanted to.
I also voted Saturday. They were saying in here Friday, kick the weekend off right. I think it's Saturday and people are working on Friday. Saturday you have all day.
I think it's Sunday.
Really?
Yeah, I think it's Sunday night.
Showing your cards.
And ironically, I think the least would be hump day.
How am I showing my cards?
Because of the conviction that you had about Sundays, right?
But like, but what does that mean?
So I think you predominantly have sex on Sundays. Like, it's a thing.
It's the co-host chair, man.
Well, it's, it's, it's I mean, it's a thing, but also that doesn't mean that other days are off limits.
Do you— this might be too invasive, but do you have like a set day where like it's at a 90% clip?
Uh, no, no, no, no.
Just spontaneity?
Well, I mean, I prefer it to be spontaneous, but I feel like Sunday is the night that it most likely happens.
Okay.
The other nights, there will be spontaneity involved. Doesn't mean it won't happen when you got your finest Roman Reigns on. Yeah, yeah, you know, like, I'm— if I'm in— I'm in the finest mood, all right, because she's always in the mood. I got to be in the mood, all right? If I'm in the mood— yeah, she's always in the mood.
The opposite for me.
Come on, look at this.
Saturday Night's Main Event's running long, right?
Uh, not right now. Yeah, it's like, I was waiting for you to come to bed.
I'm like, SmackDown, gotta find out what Obafemi is gonna do.
I'm watching my stories. Come on.
You know, so gave up Dolphins covered. Let's do it.
Uh, I go Sunday. I go Sunday, the best night. I think Sunday's the best night and close the weekend with a bang, you know what I'm saying?
Is it impacted by whether or not the Dolphins win? No, no, Dolphins Sunday night for you.
No, Dolphins have nothing to do with it.
You got a tough season coming up.
No, they're— yeah, Dolphins have nothing to do with it. A couple things do have something to do with it.
Malik Willis, it's been months for me.
Can I throw out a suggestion for the people?
Was that your Bill Simmons?
No, I don't know what that— I thought that was a zaz. I'm not sure.
Pretty sure that was your Bill Simmons.
Little tip for the people, no pun intended, Saturday mornings.
Tip for the people.
A tip.
Tip for the missus.
Yeah, there you go.
Well, but I mean, you're at an age where you need to make sure your child is not—
That's a big part of the—
Running around the house.
A huge part of the equation.
Yeah, yeah. Like, so it's only circum—
Circumstances.
This age group where I'm at, like 6 to 10, is that a big morning time for people? I think your kids—
you got to be careful because they'll just come running in the door.
Yeah, they will.
Like, like for us, 14-year-old son will just be like, Papa.
No, no, for, for us, I mean, there's nothing like the pitter-patter of nothing like 16-year-old boy running down the hall.
Nothing like the panic of that locked door being tried to open.
Oh my God. Yeah, we've had We're good.
We're naked.
You have multiple children. Have you been— because the story usually goes like, oh my God, one time when I was 11, I walked in. Has that happened to you?
No.
As a lovemaker?
No. Like it's happened where they've kind of rattled the door.
What?
Why is the door locked? You know, like that's happened a couple of times.
It's backlash.
We're having a meeting.
Now, another question here. When you guys were kids, did you ever, you know, Here are your parents.
I don't want to talk about this.
Oh, okay.
So yes.
Survivor Series!
We've all been there. Tony's been there.
It's a horrible conversation.
I've been everywhere, man.
King of the Ring! That's right. I think Sunday is the most likely. I think least likely I feel is like Tuesday. Tuesday feels like a bad day. Maybe even Monday. Monday's kind of bad too.
Yeah, but Monday you're feeling like, this is Monday, I need something here.
There's not football for a good chunk of the season.
Yeah.
Like, come on, I kind of need— Algee Crumpler to score one in the back of the red zone to complete this comeback.
Also, another factor that I have experienced, my wife works from home a couple days a week. That's become a nice—
that is good, a little afternoon delight. That is good.
Good for you.
Good for you. Uh, speaking of which, Micah Parsons, Green Bay Packers linebacker— almost said Cowboys— Green Bay Packers pass rusher Micah Parsons, he, he revealed on, I guess, on— was this on his podcast or was this— it looks like that it's with, uh, Bryant McFadden, right? Uh, the All Things Covered podcast. And, and so, so Micah Parsons revealed, uh, what, what, what he's really into. Give this a listen.
Last question, weirdest thing about you that few people know.
I have a foot fetish.
A foot fetish?
You like toes?
Yeah.
Okay.
Caught Bryant off guard there. Just straight up. Now look, I don't think there's anything wrong with, you know, liking feet, liking toes, but he was very matter-of-fact, very confident, like almost if he's been waiting for someone to ask him so he could reveal this thing that he loves and share it with the world.
Roy also revealed before the show that he's in that same camp.
Roy did not do that.
You did that, Roy?
No, I did not. I did not say that at all.
He's been very publicly anti-men feet. Yes, but you know, he's very specific there. That implies ladies.
Not at all. I am with Roy 100%. We park our cars in the same garage. Men should not be walking around. Women do a lot, uh, you know, to be more appealing to us. They wear bras that are uncomfortable, they wear high heels and everything else. The least we can do is not show our feet.
How, how close do you have to be with your friend? You're going over to their house, you're watching football, maybe you're just hanging out, whatever, to actually hang out without shoes or socks on.
Oh, I, I've been violated in, in what you're describing. One time my wife invited two of her friends over to the house with their husbands and their kids, and they were running around in the backyard and otherwise. But it was, it was March Madness. And so of course I had the TV on in my little side room and they joined me in there. Fine, that's great. You see it, um, it's made to watch sports in, and, um, I left the room. These two guys are strangers to me. I don't know either one of them. I come back into the room of my home, on my couch, this guy who was wearing those little short socks, you know, the little ankle socks, whatever you call them, had taken off his sneakers and his socks. Who goes into another man's home and takes off his stinking socks? And I'm not exaggerating. He put— he did the one knee up on the couch, so his bare foot was on my couch. I didn't sit on that couch for another— for the next 3 months.
His foot lay bare?
On my couch. On my couch. A stranger's couch. Who would do— who has the gall to think that that's acceptable behavior?
Dave, is there a pool at your house?
No.
Okay, so that's one thing I would say. Like, if you're going to the pool, you're gonna be without socks. That's an obvious thing. But maybe we'll come inside, watch a little bit of the game, go back out to the pool. Depends on what it is.
I don't care for it. I, I don't know who these people think they are, that the world belongs to them, that they take their bare, their bare stinking feet out on a plane and prop them up on, on the plane. Well, the problem is too now, because I've complained about this publicly for many years and I've actually tried to curb it until today, um, because I hate it so much that people will now send me pictures like, look at what I have to deal with, Dave. I know this is going to drive you crazy. It's the, hey, oh, this tastes terrible. Here, you taste it kind of thing. Like, why do I have to now? Now, because I've tried to better society by calling these people out, now I have to receive images proving that people aren't listening to me.
I don't—
makes me sick.
I don't understand. Like, I can understand taking off your shoes in someone's house, but if you—
if you—
if you have socks on, why would you then also take the socks off?
Wanted to air the puppies out, man.
All right. That's very disgusting.
So I'm a no-shoot, no-shoe home, right? So if you get to the front door of my house, I don't want your shoes in my house. I have a baby crawling around.
Okay.
It's respectful to ask.
It is respectful to ask.
Shoes on, shoes off.
I always have the shoes at the front of the door so everybody can see, hey, we got a, a baby crawling. I don't know where you been, buddy, so take off your shoes. Sometimes people have socks on.
Some people gotta eat a pack of dirt before you die.
Hmm, that's the breaks.
So back to the original question, how close do you have to be with homeboy to walk around his house without wearing socks on?
Pool or no pool?
No pool.
That means I got to the house, I had socks on because I wear sneakers, I don't wear sandals, and then I took said socks off.
This is a weird question because I have friends that I would be comfortable enough with to do this, but I've never done it, so I can't speak and say I would do— but I have, I have friends that'd be like, I'll take my shoes off of your house.
And people would think there's something wrong with you. I would. That's my assumption. You must have some medical condition that requires you to take your socks off.
I'm putting the socks back on.
Somebody else's home.
And I'm putting them back on to leave.
Yeah, to leave.
Yeah, that's weird.
Generally, if I take socks off, they're not going back on my feet unless they get cleaned.
What if you have no socks on when somebody comes over your house? Do you feel inclined to put socks on?
Yes.
Yeah, really?
Yeah.
You're home.
And by the way, people, somehow this adds up for a lot of people when I, when I talk about this, people say, oh, then you must have— you must be ashamed of your feet. No, not at all.
Not at all.
I just don't think it's appropriate.
I see those.
No, let's not.
Let's not.
Let's not see those things.
Thank you, Roy. Thank you, Roy, for bringing some sense to this conversation.
Dave, you could, you could sidebar with Chris Cody and send him your feet pictures. Okay. We don't have to do it on the show.
Make sure to catch the arch.
Summer is pretty much my favorite time to be a sports fan. The biggest soccer tournament of the summer just wrapped up. Baseball's on every night, racing never takes a weekend off, and my calendar basically revolves around first pitches, green flags, and whatever game everybody's texting about. I realized I'm the MVP of my group. I'm always the friend that says, "Hey, I've got it. I've got a place. I've got some ice-cold Miller Lite. I got the TV. I got a big comfy blue leather couch. Come on over." That's the behavior of a Miller Time MVP. I almost never watch the big ones alone. I'd much rather be with my friends. And if I am alone, we're texting, we're sipping on our Miller Lites, toasting the day, toasting the big games. For me, Miller Lite is just a part of a big game routine. It's brewed for taste with simple ingredients, clean, refreshing, and easy to drink, especially in the Miami heat. It's a true American pilsner and the original light beer since 1975. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer.
Miller Lite.
Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Dan Levitar.
I think when he goes on tour, the—
I shoot you.
He gets like Michael Jackson level reaction.
Really gets Michael Jackson reaction. Yes, Michael Jackson. Yes, the King of Pop.
Yes, he does.
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson. And there's I Show Speed. Similar response.
Similar response.
Similar crowd reaction.
You don't know both.
Michael Jackson, I Show Speed.
Okay, Jonathan Sassolo, you sound—
you sound like an embarrassing person. You sound old as shit.
This is the Dan Levitan Show.
We have a new segment that we are going to debut. Tony, can you explain to everybody what this new segment is? Very exciting.
It's a great segment. Me and Chris saw a video and both of us looked over at each other and said a specific phrase, and then it hit me. I was like, oh my God, eureka! We're going to create a segment that says this exact phrase. So it's videos that we've seen that make dudes go, hell yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, okay. So things that make us say— things that make guys say hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
That's okay. What do you got for us?
So Let's put the video up.
Steven Adams, which, right, sometimes, sometimes just him will make you say, hell yeah, hell yeah.
But he's carrying a massive 20-foot log over his shoulder at the beach somewhere as for training or whatever. We just got one arm over it as it goes 10 feet in each direction. Oh yeah, just makes you say hell yeah.
He's like doing half a torture rack to a tree, to a tree, and just keep—
let's hold him there, just walking.
He's hell yeah, the strongest guy ever, guys.
It's not easy to walk on the beach.
Look at that.
Boom.
Oh yeah.
And he's setting it up. All right. Boom.
Hell yeah.
And you see when it hits the sand, it's heavy. It's not like one of those flimsy branches that kind of hit there and whatever.
Yeah.
What's he up to?
The sand?
What's he up to?
Maybe a beach cleanup of some sort.
Hell yeah. No, like, look, the other guy has a hatchet in his hand.
Yeah.
Do you think this is a beach cleanup or do you think— Oh yeah.
Oh, maybe they're making one of those big canoes that you put the bar on the side to get to.
What's the Disney movie?
Oh, hell yeah.
Where's the Disney movie where they shipwreck and they build a whole, like, Castaway? Swiss Family Robinson. Maybe they're doing something like that.
Hell yeah.
But they built a treehouse though.
They have a cell phone though. Seems like they'll be okay.
Hell no.
Chris, if you were shipwrecked, would you be able to build yourself a raft?
A raft?
Just something to get out of there on.
I would try, but I would lean towards hell no. Do you think you'd be able to start a fire? That's another thing. Oh yeah, give me two pieces of wood. I think we should do one time we put two people with two little sticks and see who starts a fire first. I know it's hard because the wood's wet.
I'm not going to do that.
It's harder than that.
I'm not going to do that.
But I've seen Tom Hanks do it. You get the little spindle, you got to need a little something that'll catch, and you get a little, little blow, a little blow.
You'll keep yourself alive because you're a lot of friction, a lot of friction.
A little blowing, a little, because it needs oxygen.
He's right about that. It does need oxygen.
You think it would blow? You think the, like, natural thinking would be if I blow on it, it's going to go out? No, no, no, it needs a little oxygen. So it's a little soft blow.
He's right about that.
And a lot of friction. You think it's not like a big space you're covering. You're trying to work on one little area. You just want a little thing of smoke. See, I've seen Castaway.
Mike, I failed everyone today when I admitted last night you gave me an assignment, a double feature to watch The Coffee Table and watch The Lighthouse, neither of which I was able to get through. I got through about 30-plus minutes of The Coffee Table. I can't sit through this anymore. And I got through almost an hour, I would say, of The Lighthouse. And I just, I had I had enough.
You're right there with The Lighthouse.
Maybe I'll finish it today. Maybe I'll— I don't know. I can't predict the future.
Do you like— would you describe yourself as somebody who likes what I think, uh, Mike earlier described as sort of art house fare?
Are you talking about like the smaller studios, like the independent? Yeah, yeah, yeah, usually.
Yes, you enjoy those kind of movies.
Yeah, like when I saw that The Lighthouse was A24, I was like, okay, cool, I'm gonna like this this movie.
Okay, I'm just curious, are you more like— because to me, based on the movies you celebrate, it seems like summer blockbusters.
You're a big studio guy.
No, I, I like— hey, you know I love horror movies, and all the good horror movies nowadays are the smaller studios.
Yeah, Blumhouse.
True.
Yeah, Blumhouse. Yep, I like Blumhouse and A24. Yeah, I like all that. Well, anyway, I failed last night.
You did.
I couldn't get through a couple of movies, but Did you come through on your—
I did. I have this working suspicion that you're paid by Masters of the Universe. You put out like an IG post. It was— you put out a tile saying like, available on streaming now.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, it's weird.
I want everybody to like the thing that I like.
Yeah, but like, not a— not an IG story, an IG post.
I got messages from people yesterday on Facebook. I got messages from fans of the Dan Le Batard Show who said, per Zaslow's recommendation, I watched Masters of the Universe tonight and I loved it.
I watched— I finished it with my daughter over the course of 2 days. We watched the whole thing. I enjoyed it. I thought it was— I thought it was fun. I thought it was light.
So over the course of 2 days, like, you stopped and then you picked it back up. Did you have to remind yourself what part of the story you were at, or were you able to pick it right back up?
I think my brain was able to handle the, the, you know, 24-hour break. Okay. I, I was— I didn't need a refresher.
Okay.
But it was fun, it didn't take itself seriously, the Skeletor character was nailed. I love that they didn't actually show Jared Leto.
I could barely tell. He's poison.
Yeah, Jared Leto just reminds you of bad things. But I thought it was well made, I thought it was fun, I thought it was pretty to look at.
The music was fantastic.
Yeah, although I did have an issue with one of the songs that they played. They played Queen's "Princes of the Universe." That's Highlander canon.
Well, doesn't Brian May do the whole soundtrack, I think, for the movie?
But I don't like that. Princess of the Universe is— he needs to know better. That's Highlander canon.
Oh, really?
You know, that's not He-Man's. That's Highlander's. You don't take Princess of the Universe.
Oh, I'm not sure I even know what song you're referring to there.
Here we are, born to be kings. We're the princes of the universe.
Oh, well, I never saw Highlander. Whatever, man.
You never saw the syndicated show Highlander?
No, I don't care about Highlander.
No, with Adrian Paul. Yeah, you know, Duncan McLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
You don't have to name the actors. I never saw it on—
greetings, Highlander! You've got to see Highlander.
No, I know, it's great. And then they have Highlander Endgame where Christopher—
no, it's Avengers Endgame.
No, Highlander Endgame where Christopher Lambert's Highlander and Adrian Paul's Highlander finally have a clash. Wow, man. And you know who's going to be in the retelling? No, of Highlander. They're rebooting that franchise. It's the team behind the John Wick franchise. Henry Cavill is gonna be a Highlander. Batista is in it, and also Drew McIntyre. He's also gonna be in Highlander.
I met Batista at a Pearl Jam concert.
What'd he say?
He said show was fucking awesome, is what he said.
And I said, was he big or was he thin?
He must have gone to the Friday show.
Uh, no, it was the Saturday show. It was the Saturday show. He loved it. It was great.
Why would Micah Parsons say that into a microphone on purpose? There are things that happen that you'll just always associate them them with, as if Rex Ryan, however many years later, that isn't in the first paragraph of his bio that plays in your head. There was a kid named Chip in 7th grade who I remember he raised his hand in class and the teacher called on him and he said, he said, I think I have to throw up. And the teacher said, don't ask, man, just go. And Chip got up. And it was too late, and he, he puked right there in the aisle between the desks. And I remember saying at lunch that day, at lunch that day, to the gathered gang, no matter if this guy goes on to be the President of the United States, we'll always think about him throwing up. And it's true. Now I'll never not think about Micah Parsons and his foot fetish. Congratulations.
There's other things. Look into his time at Penn State. Not a lot of people know that stuff. But all in all, Masters of the Universe, thank you for the recommendation. I would not have prioritized it the way that I did. I did hang around for the post-credits thing.
Oh, yes.
It was one thing I told you, my dog was named She-Ra. So I was— Yeah, the entire time I was looking for She-Ra.
Adora. That's right.
I'm gonna check it out tonight.
Good.
I've said it 3 nights in a row.
Whatever.
I'll check it out.
I think you're going to enjoy it. I like when people enjoy things that I enjoy.
Do you think it did well enough, or is that— you want to see a sequel and that's why you're posting on your IG?
That is part of it.
Yeah, you want to see a sequel.
Yeah, that is part of it.
Continue the story. Because I don't know if it made money at the box office.
No, it didn't. It technically flopped at the box office.
A Jared Leto film flopped at the box office?
But my guess is that it'll do big numbers streaming. I think it'll do really big numbers streaming.
If you have anything to say about it.
Well, I got 50,000 followers, I'mma try. Trying to get everybody on board.
Sheep Detectives.
Delightful.
That was great. Same actor. The actor that portrays He-Man is in Sheep Detectives.
Really? Yes.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
Spoiler alert, right? Is that—
I'm not going to give away— I'm not going to give away his role.
That's He-Man? Okay. Yeah.
He works for a newspaper. He's covering the fest, the cultural fest in the town.
That was funny when you pull up to the cultural fest and you see what it is.
Yeah. He had questions, but he's really good in He-Man. Charm.
When he first, you know, gets the power of Grayskull, come on, that's a great—
no, it was great. Uh, the, the, the cameo that's in it, as someone that grew up watching the old Masters of the Universe film, like, I, I popped for that. It was great. It reminded me of the, uh, of my watching the cartoon when I was a little kid. And I love how they approach some of the ridiculous names, right?
That was creative, right?
It was really creative.
And Idris Elba was great in the movie.
Why is Skeletor bad? He's got a skull for a face.
Come on, of course Skeletor was so mean to Evil-Lyn.
Yeah, there was one point, there's one point in the film.
Now, is that Brie Olson or Alison Brie?
That was definitely Alison Brie.
All right, I got the names mixed up. I don't know, I can never remember.
The chat was kind of trolling me for my attempt at starting a fire, and they're, they're having a debate on who in this room of us and our crew would be best and worst to be stranded on an island with. Roy's getting a lot of votes for—
I would say we're the best. Oh no, why? Why?
Whoa, Zez.
What? Bad week for you, dude.
I'm asking.
Bad week for you.
I, I've been vo— I think I'd be a great number 2 man.
I don't like how you said Roy.
If I have somebody that really knows what they're doing, I can be like, oh, what do you need? Need some wood? I'm running out and get it. Like, I could be a good number 2 out there. If I'm number 1, I think we're in trouble, but I think I could help out as like a good, hey, we need to build this. Hey, hold this up. I could be a good spotter. I think I'd be a great number 2 out there.
I'm the worst.
Chris is the one we Oh, that's fair. You'd be the worst, Zazz? I think that would be a heated competition between you and me.
You and me would be not surprising, because what do you and I have in common?
Jeremy couldn't be great.
Not surprising. Uh, I would be terrible. Yep, I, I can't do anything.
So the three of us?
Yeah, yeah, three of us, I guess. Yeah, is what it is.
We're staying out of that one. You guys talk.
I could see Tony pulling a Steven Adams.
I carry a log on my shoulder.
Yeah, I got this.
I've got brute strength to, to offer up. I could help.
You're tall, you could help tie something up.
Yeah, I could do that, but I'm not overly confident in my ability to start a fire.
Yeah, I'd die pretty quickly.
Yeah, I, I don't stand a chance. I can't do anything.
Do I have the sniffles?
I've once caught a salmon with my bare hand.
I think I would pretty immediately just try to figure out how is the least painful way I can die.
I want to get out of here as fast as possible.
Yeah, how do I, how do I get out of here and die without having to drown to do it? Hmm, maybe poison berries. If I can find those somewhere.
All right, all right.
Dan Levitar. I hope he goes to your town so I can laugh, because you think he'll make you a contender.
Who's that an impression of?
The sports guy.
Oh, oh, do some more.
What part of Massachusetts is that?
Let me hear some more. Dave Demacek.
I don't do a good Simmons, but that's what I'm doing right now.
That's maybe the worst Simmons I've ever heard.
Hey man, that's a bad impression. I'm a Heat media.
This is the Dan Levatar Show.
Dave, it is your time to shine. This is the moment in the Friday show where we pit cast members against each other. Dave, do we have an episode of TNT today?
We do. Au contraire, though, it is not my time to shine. I'm merely putting the ball on the tee and we'll see who can smack it. Is it Tashay or is it Tony? It's time for another edition of TNT, Mr. Lister style. I should tell you, we have a new episode of Football America posting. It may already have posted here. We played a little TNT because, as you have heard, pro football players are on their way to training camp. It's time for the fans to get to training camp too. I wanted a little refresher. We talked about NFL playoff teams from 2025. No spoilers here. Somebody embarrassed themselves there, but that's in the rearview mirror. Today the subject is movies, specifically Harrison Ford movies. Oh great, you go first. Harrison Ford movies. We'll trade back and forth until one of you cannot come up with an answer.
Can we actually, Dave, before we get to today's edition, can, can, can we relive You know, the moment from Football America where I'd like that. Yeah, let's, let's take a look at this.
We're going to have to impose a timer on this. Yes, it's clock. This is a disgrace.
It really is.
All right, I'm Buddy Bedell.
That's a little bit of a loss.
I went first. You got to get one. That's a loss.
Hold on a second.
I just say pass.
He just said pass.
Pass the ball to me. So I got one.
That's an L. That's it. That's a—
Tony's on the board. Okay, but Tony then at least has to come up with one.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta—
you got for the win.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm shocked.
It's the quarterback league and he just passed. That's right, but it was wrong still.
Uh, San Francisco.
Damn it.
Yes, the 49ers.
Jeremy, what happened there?
Comedy.
Oh, okay.
Comedy?
No, it's terrible.
Yeah, I had nothing left. I hoped Tony also would fail. I was panicking. This, for whatever reason, this particular quiz competition makes me sweat. I think it's because normally I'm squaring off against Chris in baseball trivia, so I feel like it's a more even fight. But I don't know anything that Dave's ever talking about. And so I don't know anything about football. I've made it abundantly clear.
NFL playoff teams, I can understand how that's challenging.
You know what, man? Let's be real. I already don't, like, talk that much, as much as I normally would.
You don't like football?
Are you about to say you don't watch the NFL?
You don't watch the NFL?
No, I, I care more about my fantasy team than I care about anything else. And my job here, when we're in football season, is to find stats about the teams.
And—
What are you doing, dude?
No.
Dude, I'm just, I'm just embarrassing myself, okay?
I was embarrassed.
Just say I stink.
I don't have anything left.
Are you trying to—
Let's do the Harrison Ford thing.
Jones in The Last Crusade.
Pay attention to the NFL.
Okay, but, but by the way, just for the record, like, you don't know what Dave's talking about. If anything is broken through, the thing that might have broken through is that Dave's from Pittsburgh and cares about the football team there. That's one Tashay did not get. Yeah, you didn't get that the Steelers went— I did.
I forgot the Steelers are in the playoffs. I'm gonna be honest, that team stinks.
All right, I have to keep stats on these NFL teams, like their records, as a for instance, and which ones are good enough to get to the playoffs. All right, so you said which one there, Tony?
Last Crusade.
Last Crusade. We're off and running.
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Okay.
I don't like that these guys are looking.
He's got the chat. He's got the chat open on the—
on—
and he just looked at it and said Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Come on, Tashay. Come on.
I wasn't— I promise I wasn't looking at the chat.
I promise.
I believe you, Jeremy.
I promise.
Crazy.
You're up, Tone.
Okay.
Let's do Star Wars.
Which one?
Episode—
No, you can't do which one. So we're all naming Star Wars movies.
We just did different Indiana Jones movies.
What do you mean?
Star Wars is the proper name of that movie. Yeah. Oh, that's the original movie.
Original movie.
Star Wars.
Okay. So then Empire Strikes Back.
Okay.
Okay.
Um, I'm gonna go Indiana Jones, uh, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Oh my God, I don't understand how people's brains work! Why wouldn't you take away when you're in a run of Star Wars movies? Return of the Jedi, right now you make it easy for Tashian.
That's fine, I want to—
I always win.
I want to have some sort of like all right, all right, back and forth.
All right, playing with this gave me a pass last time.
Let's just relax.
Temple of Doom.
The Fugitive.
There's no way Jeremy seen The Fugitive.
I know The Fugitive.
There's no way he's seen The Fugitive.
Come on.
If he has cable television, he's flipped past AMC. Yes, exactly. It's on AMC like once a day. I know The Fugitive.
There's no way he knows The Fugitive.
I mostly care. That's my impression of Bill Simmons.
Tony?
I like movies.
Let's do, uh, he was in Blade Runner.
Yep.
He was.
Is that Blade Runner? Isn't Jack Ryan, is it?
Nope.
No.
Oh my God.
Whatever the Jack Ryan movie is.
Hey, what's the name of the—
Hmm.
What society have you been living in for the last quarter century?
One where I don't watch all of the Harrison Ford movies.
Jack Ryan.
Jack Ryan is wild. You are younger. I'm 30 years old. But some of these are, you know, I most recently watched him in Chorley. The classic American film book.
You can't name a Jack Ryan movie?
No. Jack Ryan, isn't that what it's called?
No, that's John Krasinski, right?
That's a dude from The Office. Yeah, imagine going from Harrison Ford to John Krasinski.
Yeah, it's really not a, not a good move.
Okay, what's your favorite sport, Tashay? Baseball, right?
Oh yeah, he plays Branch Rickey in '42.
Okay, I'm sorry, Tony, I, you know, he needs help apparently.
Uh, Get Off My Plane.
That's not the name of Air Force One.
It's definitely not called Get Off.
No, but we had a sounder that would say Get Off My Plane.
No, that was well done. He got it.
Gary Oldman, ass off in that picture. Great flick.
Yep.
What Tony did was actually like the wiener eating guy who eats the most hot dogs. He, whatever, I forget his name. The wiener eating—
Joey Chestnut.
Kobayashi.
Chestnut. Chestnut. I've encouraged him multiple times and he has not taken my counsel. I said, like, if you really want to stick it to your competition before it even starts, order a thick shake and some fries on the side. That'll intimidate them. Not only did Tony just name a movie, he quoted it. Taché is overmatched here, but he has— he's up nevertheless. Take your shot. Pass. Oh man, embarrassment. I got nothing, man.
I don't watch—
you have no idea. You can't come up with it anymore.
No, I'm panicked.
There was another Indiana Jones movie, another Star Wars movie you didn't mention. Patriot Games.
There's the Jack Ryan.
Great movie.
All right, sorry, man.
All right, clear and present danger.
Good job, Tony.
Yeah. Are you familiar with how Air Force One stopped Joe Sakic from signing with the New York Rangers?
No, I'm not. Would you like to tell me the story?
There was a whole documentary on it that one of the people, one of the producers behind Air Force One kind of needed that to be a box office success. And that's how Joe Sakic got the biggest contract.
All right. I'll watch that documentary and then all of the Harrison Ford movies.
Air Force One's a good movie. Didn't it come out like the same time it was Air Force One and Executive Decision?
Executive Decision was great. There's a surprise in that.
Yup.
All right.
Yup.
Spoiler alert on Executive Decision.
Yep.
What year?
We won't do it for Coffee Table.
We won't do it for Coffee Table because it's like—
but if you see Executive Decision, truly shocking in the first 30.
Very shocking because you got Kurt Russell there. I believe John Leguizamo's in this cast. And all over the trailer you're like, wow, 1996. Kurt Russell— it's a great flick— and Steven Seagal decided to team up for this incredible movie. And Steven Seagal gets killed off like right away. Yep.
Really?
Yeah, and this was very early when Steven Seagal had juice.
Yep.
Really?
Yeah, it was a shock. You're watching the movie, you figure this is a main character, Steven Seagal, because we're talking Under Siege.
He gets sucked out.
Yeah, yeah, sucked out. I think he kind of sacrificed himself.
Yeah, but it was a surprise. Like, well, that's a big movie star over there.
Huge surprise. Along the same lines is when Optimus Prime dies in the Transformers movie very early on. It's very shocking.
Harrison Ford, if, if you were an actor and you got the role of— by the way, he's in Apocalypse Now, before you know who he is, in one scene, the conversation, he is, uh, magnetic for whatever reason. If you've not seen that, make sure you go and check that one out. But he arrives with Star Wars, and if you were an actor and you got to play Han Solo or Dr. Indiana Jones or Rick Deckard, your career would be made. You would get to play one of the most iconic, cool characters of all time. He played all three. Not only that, here's Harrison Ford's run. There's no run, uninterrupted streak in movie history like this.
Tom Hanks.
Empire Strikes— no, no, don't, don't shout things out, Tashé, if you don't know, if you don't, if you can't back it up.
You go.
Let him do it.
Empire Strikes Back.
You don't know shit, Jeremy.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, Blade Runner. He plays those 3 characters in consecutive movies. It's crazy. Then Return of the Jedi, then Temple of Doom, then John Book in Witness where he makes his love on an Amish lady.
Oh my God. In defense of Jeremy Taché, it was pretty quick of him to rattle off Tom Hanks because Tom Hanks had that incredible run.
He has a ridiculous run. Yeah.
Tom Hanks, great run, but also Working Girl, he's great in that.
I think Tom Hanks is terrible. I think Tom Hanks's run was better. And also Nick Cage, '97, what do you have an idea?
I want to take his face off.
Yeah, he had like Con Air and, uh, The Rock and Face/Off, like back to back to back to back.
If we're doing just like 3 movies—
oh yeah, Jim Carrey, '94.
Yeah, in a row, Tom Hanks went A League of Their Own, Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13, Toy Story, That Thing You Do, Saving Private Ryan, You've Got Mail.
That thing you do isn't good. What?
I like that thing you do.
I like that thing you do, but no one thinks of it as like in those.
Yeah, You've Got Mail's not good.
I mean, I mean, they were recapturing their unbridled chemistry, but is it a good movie? No.
So it doesn't count as being a part of a great streak.
It's not good.
Okay, I like That Thing You Do, great soundtrack. The One-Eaters.
It's an incredible song.
It's, it's not good. It's not good.
It gave us Steve Zahn.
That's—
listen, I like—
on the con side, right?
If you want the greatest comedic run in movie history, look up Steve Martin. He goes The Jerk, Man with Two Brains, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and I forget what follows that.
I'm sorry, we, we already said Jim Carrey. Yeah, Jim Carrey had the best run. Of comedies. No. Oh, you know what?
I just told you. Steve Martin also.
What did Jim Carrey have? He had The Mask, he had—
he had like Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, and The Mask were like in a year and a half.
And then like everyone—
Truman Show.
I think Cable Guy has actually aged well, but Cable Guy was supposed to be the cooler.
I think Cable Guy's a little bit of a rough watch.
I love Cable Guy.
Love it. I'm with you, Mike. I think it's hysterical and the least celebrated comedic star because he plays the straight man, but he's the best straight man. Of the generation is Matthew Broderick.
That's the best straight man of this generation.
Strong straight man. I'm trying to think of a—
Owen Wilson was a pretty good straight man.
Well, you know, John C. Reilly, you might consider to be that, but he proves himself to be hysterical in Step Brothers and Talladega Nights.
John C. Reilly is one of— I feel like John C. Reilly is one of the all-time great, you know, straight man actors to comedic actor rises.
That's great.
Yeah, yeah. But he maybe has the best moment in Boogie Nights, in my opinion. Absolutely. When he's arguing with the studio guy to get the albums back or get the recordings back. That's not an MP. That's a YP. That's not a my problem. That's a UP. YP, UP. You're losing me with your technical jargon.
Alright guys, look, it's a Friday show, time is running out, and you're all probably saying to yourselves, "Zaslo, I gotta know. A lot going on this weekend. I don't have time to do everything. Is it a big game?
Or is it not a big game?" Howdy folks, welcome to Big Game or Not a Big Game.
With Jonathan Zaslow.
Big game or not a big game? Chris Cody, we will start with you. What do you have for us this weekend?
Thanks for starting with me.
Did I catch you off guard?
Just, you know, they were both like, I'm ready to do this. I'll start with me. This is good. I have a poker tournament tonight that I'm playing in. $100,000 guarantee up top. What?
Really?
I mean, that's, that's not like first place. That's the total prize pool guarantee that I will buy into, and I'm going to try to win that tournament.
Alright, uh, questions—
No sex tonight.
Tomorrow morning.
Questions, uh, how many are in the money?
Unless you lose.
No, this will be a tournament of probably 200 people max.
And how many are in the money?
Uh, like 10% generally make the money, so you gotta play down to the final 20 to get in the money, and then from there the good payouts start around the final table.
You know what? That's a big game.
Big game.
Yeah, I like that. Tony.
Oh, he was in Anchorman 2.
Tony, big game and not a big game, what do you got?
Uh, Zazz, big game for me tomorrow, in my opinion. I want to get your opinion on it. Tomorrow, my 35th birthday. Big game? Not a big game.
Wow.
All right, question here. Uh, are you, are you sending the baby somewhere?
Like—
No, baby be with us.
Okay, do you own a coffee Table? No. All right, good, good. That's good stuff. Christ. All right, very good. Uh, do you, do you have the, the spot planned? Are we doing anything with friends?
Doing a family thing. Family's going to join there at the house.
Oh, okay. So not out to dinner, at the house?
No, doing it at the house.
Yeah. Your house?
My house. Pool's huge.
Yeah, at, at the house. That's—
people with their shoes off.
That's a big plus. That's a big game. At your house.
That's a home game for me. Big home game.
That's a— yeah, that's good. Dave Dameshek, big game and not big game.
What do you got?
Well, the Cubs are visiting the Buccos this weekend. Huge implications for the National League wildcard chase, which the Marlins are probably now realistically out of. Saturday night, Skeens on the hump against Imanaga. Big game. Dameshek and Hoover Dameshek, my 12-year-old, will be at the Pittsburgh Riverhounds soccer game against Rhode Island FC. What tier of American soccer that is, I don't know, but we'll be seated by one of the three rivers enjoying a wiener and some soccer.
I am going not a big game. Nothing about that excited me. Not a big game.
Uh, fair.
Mike Ryan, big game, not a big game.
Left turns, Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the NASCAR Cup series, not the Indy 500, but the very same track, the Brickyard 400. Bubba Wallace won it last year. Big game, not a big game.
Wow.
Any right turns involved in this? No, only left turns.
A huge oval.
You know, I'm gonna go big game. Yeah, I surprised you there. You didn't know I was gonna go with the race.
What else are you gonna watch this weekend?
Come on.
All right, and that right there is another edition, a big game and not a big game.
Thanks for asking.
"Pass."
Which actor had the best run of movie roles? Which day of the week is the most popular day for sex? Do we live in a society? Does Micah Parsons have a foot fetish? What makes dudes say "hell yeah?" Is Zas being paid by Masters of the Universe? Are you okay with seeing bare feet?
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