Transcript of Are Fantasy Football Punishments Overplayed? | Local Hour

You are listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states. Hey, we did it everyone, we made it to Friday. Give it up for Friday.

All right.

Yeah.

All right. Look at this crew we got here today. We got Chris and Mike Ryan and Amin and Roy. And Jeremy. I don't know if this group has worked together yet. And we have Dave, Dave Dameshek out in LA. Hello Dave, how are you?

What's happening everybody? We are that much closer to the start of football season. 3 words for that: ooh la la.

Do you think I should go to the show tomorrow? It's tomorrow. Do you think I should go to the show? Tribute show, Pearl Jam tribute band with Foo Fighters tribute band opening for them at Revolution Live in downtown Fort Lauderdale tomorrow. Should I go? It's tomorrow.

Yeah, you should go to that.

Yeah, sure.

I think you should go. Dave, should I go?

I guess so. I hate to start out on a sour note, but the Foo Fighters might seem like—

It's not the Foo Fighters, it's Foo Fighters. It's not the, just like it's not the person.

Either way, Foo Fighters.

Foo Fighters.

Yeah.

Either way, Dave Grohl seems like a decent soul, you know, helps out society and all that. Um, every Foo Fighters song sounds exactly the same as every other Foo Fighters song.

Now Dave, I have to clarify here, it's not Foo Fighters he's gonna go see, it's a tribute band called Foo Fight.

Seems sad, seems, uh, seems a little strange. You're like, we're putting the cart before the horse. I know Foo Fighters have been around for a long time, they deserve a tribute band, do they? Hmm.

Well, I mean It's a group of guys who love Foo Fighters, and so they go around playing Foo Fighters songs. Like, that's—

let me guess, like Dave Grohl starts out at a normal pitch and then gets real excited as the song goes along, he screams a little bit along.

Probably the formula. Yeah, it could be. But I told you, that's just a bonus, because I like Foo Fighters.

Right.

That's a bonus. I'm going to see a per— update. I got an update, everyone. I have an update. You ready? I'm going, I'm going.

Wow.

All right, there you go. I'm going, I'm going. I have an update. Decide the lead singer for the Pearl Jam tribute. They're, uh, Jeremy, was it— they're called Still Alive? Stay Alive. Still Alive.

That's on me.

Make up a—

are you still—

the lead singer reached out to you?

Still Alive.

The lead singer, Freddie Vedder, the Pearl Jam— his name is close to that. His name is close to that. It's Caesar.

These are better.

He reached out to me. I'm his personal guest tomorrow night. That's right.

Yes, you are, bleeper.

That's right. So I am going. I made up my mind. I'm going. And I am his personal guest tomorrow night.

You better get that VIP area at Rebel Nation because if not, it can be a little taxing on the body.

Well, so what is the VIP situation?

Oh, the side stage?

It's really cool.

It's indoors, right?

Yes. Yeah, but if you're picturing like the stage and then there's like the mosh pit area, like the—

and then just to the side, that's what I want.

This little elevated, you're like stage side.

Oh, that's what I want.

Yeah, it's great.

Now, Zazz, had it been outdoors, they just— you just learned it right now.

Well, because when I saw Wu-Tang there 15, 20 years ago, it was outdoors at Revolution.

But that's what I'm asking you. Had you right now discovered, by the way, it's outdoors What would your reaction be?

I would very much want the VIP area outdoors, because there is a VIP area outdoors. That's where I was for Wu-Tang, because I'm VIP. Everybody knows two things about me. They know one of them is I'm VIP. So I would want the VIP area for sure. But indoors, you know, I'm not trying to have my— here's the thing. All right, let me lay in on something.

Okay.

The wife will start complaining. All right. If we're outdoors, it's very hot out down here, Dave. My wife will start complaining. So the fact that it's indoor, that's huge. I mean, but how do I, how do I wiggle my way to make sure that I'm in the VIP area? Because I don't want to come off like a schnurr, all right? You know, I don't—

I mean, if you're the guest of Freddy Vetter, then you should be fine.

I'm the guest of Caesar.

Schnurr.

Schnurr.

I've never heard that.

Dave, even I haven't heard that. Dave, explain to the Gentiles what schnurr means. Go ahead.

He's right here.

Well, yeah, I mean, the, the, these Gentiles, these goyim, don't understand the shit. You don't want to be taking advantage too much of a situation.

I— even I—

that's what that is.

I know a lot of Yiddish. That one, I mean, a schnorr is someone who's taken advantage.

All right. That just like Dave said, you don't want to come up—

spelling that one is difficult.

Yeah.

Well, I think it's weird that VIP stands for like, people throw it around as though it's a formal term, but it stands for very important person. When I learned that as a child, I was underwhelmed by it. Now on the other side of things, you know, we truncate a lot of LOL and all of that. And we bemoan that like back in my day, people didn't use that. Except that the OG of that, the original of that, is RIP. Can you imagine the character that came up with RIP? Rest in peace. Someone has died. They're not going to be back for eternity, and we can't chip into the headstone. Rest in peace. It must have been like 4:58 PM on a Friday. Like, let's get out of here. People know what I'm talking about. RIP. They'll figure out what it stands for.

I mean, was it, was it the Undertaker? He invented All right.

What's your favorite acronym? I think I go YAC.

I thought you were going to say BYOB.

That's a good one.

No, that's terrible.

I didn't think of that one.

ASAP. That's the best one. Hands down.

I like YAC. Yard after catch.

Whoa.

Yards after catch.

Hmm.

I don't like the pretentious ass who talks about baseball and talks about, about RBI. They use RBI like he has 110 RBI on the season. Yeah, we, we get it. We get it. Yeah. Yeah. Grammatical pain in the ass.

Ribbies? I thought they call them ribbies.

Mike Schur says R-S-B-I.

Mike Schur?

Freeloader.

My, my older son just finished yesterday a binge watch of The Office. He's been binging it. He's 17. He's been binging it for like a month. Just finished yesterday. Loved it. And I loved telling him, I think I told him only like 2 days ago when I saw him watching. I love telling him, oh, there's Mose, you know, that guy is. And I explained who Mose is. Not, not only that he's one of the creators and writers on the show, but like he appears on, on this show every now and then. My son got a real kick out of that. He loved that. It's Mose right there. Let me tell you about Mose.

Zazz, do you know the story about how I met Mike Schur?

No.

So Mike Schur— so I get this note from someone, say, hey, there's a guy for Slate, he's writing an article about The Levittard Show, how great it is.

How long ago is this?

This is like 2018, 2017. So they say, hey, is it okay if he calls you? I said, sure, yeah, give me a call. And so I get a text from a number, say, hey, I'm writing this article, is it okay if I call you like at like 12:30 on a Tuesday? I'm like, fine, yeah. And I'm thinking it's some college kid Oh, it's his lunch break or whatever. Like, yeah, yeah, fine. Get on the phone.

He didn't introduce his name in the text?

This is Mike.

Okay.

So he's like, so, so I'm talking to the guy and I'm, and I'm explaining television to him like, like Pat McAfee. I'm explaining hard outs and stuff like that. And I like, we'd talk for like maybe like 90 minutes. He's like, man, this is so great, thanks so much. I'm like, yeah, no, hey, yeah, best of luck to you, I think I said at the end of the call. And so, and so the, the article comes out, it's like, oh, this, oh, it's just the one of the executive producers of The Office wrote about the leprechaun.

You didn't know until the article came out?

No clue. And I was like, and as I'm reading, I'm like, oh my God, you must have felt like such— like, I felt like, like, because I just remembered, it was like, it was like a scene from a movie. In my head was echoing all the, like, not snarky, but just kind of like, kid, this is how things work. Like, all of the dumb things I said explaining that, explaining comedy.

And 2018, like, Zoom wasn't like thing, you know.

It was a phone call. It was all over the phone. I think I was walking around in LA when it went— like, I think I went to go to get lunch from Figueroa or whatever. So I was like, I was just on the move. But like, all the things I said, again, like explaining TV, explaining comedy, just echoed in my head. I'm like, you stupid dumb bastard.

That is awesome.

My cat's name was Mose.

Coincidence?

No, I named it after the character and then got to meet Michael Schur later on. And now we sometimes text and he bullies me about the heat.

Chris doesn't know how to say cockroach.

Relax.

I'm sorry.

I just—

I slow it down. You guys just speed through it. I like to slow it down.

He calls it a cock-a-roach.

Oh, so he says it like Scarface.

A cock-a-roach.

A cock-a-roach.

I mean, it just— I know technically it's cockroach, but that just doesn't— that just doesn't—

that's just what it is. Cockroach.

Cockroach.

Someone please clip him saying cockroach, please. Cockroach.

RSVP, you guys know what that stands for?

Réserve si vous plaît.

What? What? What would you say?

Réserve si vous plaît.

Not réserve si vous plaît.

It's close. You actually almost— you, you were a little off.

What is it?

It's respond— the rest of what you said. It's not record.

You don't want to try saying it?

It's répondez s'il vous plaît.

That was close.

It's a French acronym. I just learned that. Did you? Apparently Zazz knew that.

Of course.

Okay, just not a good week.

He's Canadian.

What do you mean?

Cockroach.

It's a cockroach.

It's a cockroach, right, Dave?

It's not your garden variety roach.

It's a cockroach.

How big is the hog on that roach?

Wow.

To be named that.

Yeah.

Chris, what is it?

What?

How big is it?

It's pretty big. Average size, I'd say.

It just sounds like Papa Roach, which is amazing.

That's probably what I did there.

Cut my life into pieces.

That's like, I'm crawling on your ceiling.

Yeah, yeah, there you go.

No, kill me with Raid or something else. So like Dave said, we are very close to football. We had preseason football last night. We'll get to a little bit of this last weekend without football, right? Oh, without real football?

Yeah, college football starts up next week.

Is there anything good college football-wise next weekend?

We gotta look at Stanford against Hawaii. You know, they just named QB1, so they play the week before they play Miami.

You've been wanting to mention the Stanford quarterback.

Yeah.

What's going on there?

Well, do you think he's good? He threw 3 interceptions against Arkansas State.

I would say no.

I think you'd be right.

Okay.

17.

You know, by the way, we talked about it a week or 2 ago about how lame preseason polls are in college football and all of that. And then to gild that lily, I threw out the— my recurring point that if preseason games were in fact essential, as NFL claims they are, then college football teams would play them.

That's what, that's what I'm saying.

Well, and then the pushback comes from the dim cynics. Well, they play cupcakes. They, they don't schedule actual good teams, and that's betrayed by the evidence. Yes, hey, go ahead and look through the weeks 0 or whatever that, whatever they call it. I don't understand the notion of week 0, but either way Week 0 and Week 1 and Week 2 is populated by a number of heavyweight v heavyweight type games, you know, ranked teams. I hate to invoke rankings preseason when I bemoan their existence, but either way, there's some real good games going on in the first couple of weeks of college football season.

Yeah, I like that about college football. I love it when the Canes had a Week 0 where we played Florida and it was a really good game. I love starting the season off with a marquee opponent. I wish Miami would do it more often.

But like, the point would be—

Oh, I disagree.

Really?

I'm sorry.

Well, you're a Big Ten guy. You're a Big Ten guy. You don't like to play anybody.

Ah, Dan Levitar.

I'll go with this one.

Dave Demacek.

It has come time now.

This is the Dan Levitar Show.

What I don't like is in the NFL is these meaningful games, division games. You're pitting teams that are going to impact the seedings.

Yeah, there should be no— it was, it was a longstanding rule in the NFL that Week 1 you would never have a divisional matchup.

What do you mean longstanding? It was an unspoken—

yeah, it was sort of unspoken. Why? You don't get into your division, the meat of your division schedule until the season starts, but never Week 1. That's all out of division matchups.

Sort of unspoken?

How's it—

what's a sort of unspoken rule?

They did it for several years where you didn't have a division matchup, and then all of a sudden they started putting division matchups in there and it stunk.

I feel like sort of unspoken means someone spoke about it and we're like, shh, you're not supposed to talk about it.

Yeah, it was implied.

It was an implied sort of unspoken rule.

An implied sort of— how do you imply a sort of unspoken rule?

Well, because for several years there wasn't, right, Dave? Back me up here.

I—

yeah, but then I think what kind of got in the way, and we all understood that you start with a dip in the toe in the water a little bit with, with, you know, college football. Alabama plays a bum— Bethune-Cookman or whatever— plays a bum team that they're gonna whip. But then you start to get into the kickoff classic or whatever you— or the kickoff game in the NFL with the reigning champion playing, um, playing somebody at home. And then people watch this and it became a primetime event, and then you get a band out there before the game and all that crap. And I think then it's like, oh look, more people than usual watch this. But listen, we've been out in the desert for 6 months without any football whatsoever. We don't need a feast, we just need a cracker. That's all we've been— we, we've been desperate for anything to eat. Just give us a morsel of food. Doesn't have to be a filet mignon in week 1. We'll build up to that.

So like Mike said, next weekend, real football. All right, we got preseason football week 2, which began last night, and you're probably seeing everyone is setting their fantasy football drafts. You know, like, it's, it's that time of year. We're in week 2 of preseason. We're either having our fantasy football draft or we're setting our fantasy football draft. And what that also means, I don't know if you've been seeing this on social media recently, you have fantasy football leagues that are paying off their debt from the end of last season. It's become a big thing, right, Dave, where the, the loser, last place of the fantasy football league, has to do some sort of punishment. All right, and You know, some of them can be really silly and some of them can be kind of brutal. And these leagues are posting the videos, you know, like all over social media. And I'll be honest with you, some of them are funny, but I think it's getting a little bit played out, if I'm being perfectly honest. You know, I think it's a little bit played out. Ooh, look at how he punished the last place guy.

I saw one league where the loser of the league had to object to a stranger's wedding.

Whoa.

I've never been at a wedding where they actually ask that question. Does anyone here object?

How about cry at a funeral? Cry at a stranger's funeral.

I love the idea of hearing an objection at a wedding. Like, if I was at a wedding and someone object— I would— I'd be so excited. I would like— I would turn to my wife, go, oh shit, this is on! And like, I— that sounds amazing.

Do they have to give a reason for the objection or just say I object and then walk out?

I don't know, I just saw the headline. I didn't see like a clip on it.

Ruining someone's big day like that, of course, that's crazy.

We had a guy crash our wedding who was serving a fantasy football punishment.

Oh yeah, but I mean, you raised a great overall Yeah, it's a great question. Do you then have to justify, or is it enough? Like, how does— what is the process at that point at the wedding? Like, I object. Like, all right, state your case, and then we're all gonna judge. We're all— the gathered crowd here is gonna serve as the jury, and we'll take a vote at the end of your speech about why you're objecting here.

Because I feel like you can say I object and just walk out, and that's like, all right, that's clearly just some crazy person. You know him? No, I don't know him. He didn't say anything. But if you have to sit there and be like, I object on the grounds of infidelity, like, bum bum bum, now we got some cooking.

But like, what, what, what is the premise there where, you know, what, what is it, uh, what, what is the, the person supposed to say, the official? What are they supposed to say in that spot?

Speak now. Yes.

Anyone object? Speak now or hold your peace, right? Speak now. Speak now or forever hold your peace. So If somebody speaks up, what is the process then? Like, does everybody then vote? Duel. Yeah, is it a duel? Is it a combat, you know, to death? Like, who fights? What is the process? If somebody objects, what happens next? All right, you object. Cool. You may continue. Like, what happens?

Well, they just want like, hey, like, if like 'Yo, he's a real dirtbag. He's been sleeping with all your best friends. Like, this is the last moment, guys, before this thing becomes official.' 'Let's put all this shit on the table,' is what that is.

Maybe it's like a Major League Baseball game where it's played under protest. 'All right, we'll file that one away.

We'll keep moving things along and we'll revisit it.' Does the official then make the big P, you know, with his hand? He signals the P. 'Road test.' Yeah.

'But, you know, we have catering.' Right.

They bring out a desk and they kind of go First Take on it where they put the person who objects and the person who's supposed to get married, and the officiant is the moderator, and they just sort of go for a few rounds, and then ultimately there's a decision made at the end.

Now I've been to a lot of weddings in my day, particularly with my lady, but you mean to tell me that John Lizzazzo's gonna object at the wedding and we're not gonna pay attention to one word he says?

That's preposterous! Kenny, what, what if the mo—

My lady.

What did the move be? Instead of the person who finishes last in their fantasy league— because I get, like, we do that so that you don't become a deadbeat owner, right? Isn't that the point? Where if you finish last, your team sucks, so now you're not paying attention more and you're a deadbeat owner. Well, no, there's a punishment. So, but I, I guess I understand that. But wouldn't, wouldn't the better scenario, like, the more dangerous scenario. Instead of the person who finishes last in their fantasy football league has to do the punch— like, why can't we have— whatever happened to integrity? Where we all have integrity, we're all setting our lineups, we're all trying hard in our fantasy league, that there doesn't need to be a punishment to keep you from being a deadbeat owner. The punishment actually goes to the runner-up, to the team that loses in a tank in the championship game.

Tank every single season. I've never played fantasy football, but I would tank.

That's why punishments are there, so there's no tanking.

It's an anti-tanking clause.

It's the last place team is going to trade away all the good players.

I just went through—

I know, I just said in real life teams tank.

Okay, but how about we have some integrity?

Okay, go tell the NBA that.

All right, but there's a commissioner.

Go tell the Dolphins that.

All right, but the commissioner in the NBA is on nothing, and if your commissioner is worth anything in your fantasy football league, he'll keep shit in order.

You don't think the Giants and the Raiders were tanking by the end of last year?

I'm just trying to say, can you imagine the stakes in the Fantasy Football Championship Game? The winner gets all the money and the loser has the punishment.

Yes, the loser does have the punishment. You know who the loser is? The last guy in the team— in the league. That's the loser. Second guy is not the loser. You're thinking about things— wait, all of a sudden we just absolve everyone else in the league and the only loser is second place? Get out of here. Sounds like a loser talking.

I didn't care for Amin's little, like, a little humble brag or whatever you want to call it, like Mr. Hipster kind of crap that he just pulled there, which is like— by the way, by just— I have to stipulate, I've never been in fantasy. This has become, you know, the opening scene in Pulp Fiction when Sam Jackson and Travolta are talking, and Sam Jackson— but you are aware the idea of a pilot, these people in the 20th century who used to declare to impress people I don't have a TV. You don't have a television in your home and you're proud of this? This is what Amin's doing now. I'm too cool to be in fantasy football. Is that, is that what I'm picking up?

I thought you were going to say the opening scene from Pulp Fiction where he says, what they call a Whopper? I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King.

The opening scene in Pulp Fiction is with Pumpkin and Honey Bunny. It's not Samuel Jackson and John Travolta.

Touché. When you're right, you're right, Zaslav. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.

Just saying.

I love you, honey bunny.

Everybody, execute every last one of you!

Top 10 opening scene in movie history, and I blew it.

Is it a top 10?

Yeah.

I don't know, I don't know. Have you ever seen Taxi with Queen Latifah? That opening scene, I mean, unlike any other.

Down, Levitar! God, I would love to see that interaction. Lord, let there be a day. Hey Oprah, let there be a day. Oh, The Color Purple.

You like these glasses?

She would see these glasses, she'd be like, this is someone I'll take a picture with, he looks sophisticated.

I love big game, not a big game.

Jonathan Sassalo. She would say that to me instead of me having to go up to her and say I'm a big fan. She like I love Big Deal, Not a Big Deal.

Huge fan of your work.

You're a one-time or two-time championship broadcaster?

Two. Oprah, two.

You think Oprah would say like, hey, know about that book club?

Well, and I would say yes, I do, Oprah. Yes, I do.

Have you seen Weapons?

But with the kids. This is the Dan Levatar Show. Jeremy, what is this that, you know, you're trying to, you're trying to keep things from me, which I don't appreciate. And I heard you, I overheard you talking before the show started about some video that you were trying to keep away from me, which I don't appreciate because I'm sitting in the throne right now and I really do need to be aware of everything that is happening. On this program here. So I am, I am on to you. All right. What are you trying to hide from me?

So a friend of the show, one of the fans of our show, and he also helps out in some of our audio editing, Rage Against Twitter.

Yes.

What do you say?

He put together a pretty damning compilation of you getting choked up, not just this week, but in moments prior. Let's see if we can roll that tape in just a moment of Zaslow struggling.

Uh, Dave, there's, uh, there's a lot of traffic now on our way into work in the mornings, and that can solely be attributed to school.

You gonna be okay about it?

Yes, I'm fine.

What's going on with you?

You know I'm recovering from being sick.

Yeah, but it's a thing with you.

Coach Jay Lucas here with us, signed a 5-year extension a couple of weeks ago.

You're so happy for him, you're getting choked up.

That's right, it's a thing. No, but it predates you having a cold.

Poor Zingas, they'd probably have to trade.

No, well, they just signed him to an extension.

No, the way that they restructured his deal is that now that the league year has started anew, he's instantly tradable. They wrote it into the contract.

I'm fine, Mike.

No, it predates you being sick.

No, I'm very phlegmy.

You occasionally, like, get choked up by your—

like, I was pulled over a few weeks ago.

Oh, fight through.

I choked up.

Oh, get it?

It's emotional. No, take your time.

Yeah. When I have a cold.

No, but it happens before the cold.

Do you expect Matthew Kachuk to be skating with a hangover tonight? I got emotional. I get very emotional. Yeah. Cut that one.

Yeah.

But I think Matthew Kachuk, I get very emotional. It sounded worse than it did in my head.

No, really?

It was bad.

All right.

All right. There you go. All right. There you go.

All right. Yeah, it sounded worse than it did in my head.

Those are deep pulls too. One of those had Sarah Sivian in it for when we were talking to her about Matthew Kachuk. These are, these are not just when you had a cold, Zazz, but I believe you have to issue an apology to Mike Ryan for the narrative throughout that.

What do I have to apologize to Mike for?

For lying to his face and saying it's only when you're recovering from a cold. This happens to you. Just accept it.

Work on it. It's okay. It's a thing with you.

But capitulate.

What's the thing?

Every host has a thing. For you, you get choked up. For Dan, he occasionally has that thing stuck in his throat.

That noise too, occasionally from Dan.

And he can't hear it himself.

No, no, that's Greg's stomach.

I have to be in his ear.

And then he blames it on my dad.

Greg! I can't help it. I'm a very emotional person sometimes. I mean, have you seen— I saw clips of this on social media, but I don't have the details. There is in Paris. All right. And, you know, there you can go to— you can go to any, you know, touristy city and there will be themed restaurants or themed bars.

Bien sûr.

And in Paris, they have a Miami-themed bar.

Yeah, so think about it like this. You're here in Miami, you're walking down the street, you say, "Ooh, Le Petit Déjeuner, oh, it's a French restaurant." You go in and it looks like what you would imagine a French restaurant looks like. But we're here, like, especially if you've never been to France, you just gotta have to take their word for it based on what you've seen in the movies. Well, imagine that for them over there, what they think Miami is all about. And we have a video.

I just found a Miami-themed bar in Paris and I'm going to show you what it's like. It's called Miami Boulevard and here's what it looks like from the outside. Tons of neon and all of these disco balls everywhere. Look at that. Here's what the menu looks like. Of course it's American, so you have burgers like whatever Best Miami is or the Mexic Burger. There's quesadillas, empanadas, fajitas. Apparently they do an XXL brunch. And for cocktails, they have Le Miami Special, Ocean Drive, Ultra Beach. More disco balls and these giant palm trees. You have a screen here with a bunch of scenes of Miami Beach and of course Miami-themed pop art.

I like it.

That place looks awesome.

And for the listening audience, there were 48 Freaking things at the top of the roof.

So many disco balls. So many disco balls. Also— Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. There were 48 freaking things?

Yeah, that was bad. That one I'll give you. I forgot. I lost disco balls, guys. That's it. And Amine picked me up. It's a good teammate.

The opposite of you.

I tried.

Chicken or the egg is the— did Miami Vice, or was it the Dolphins? It has now endured the, like, The mental image I think outsiders of Miami have of Miami is turquoise and pink. And that was very '80s, but we're in the year of the Lord 2026 and it persists. Where did that start? You guys have in Miami sort of, you know, I don't know if I've ever mentioned I'm from Pittsburgh, but you know, they have a, you know, Pittsburgh is black and gold. It feels like you guys have a color scheme. True.

The Miami Heat.

That— it's Miami Vice, but the Miami Heat have done a great job bringing it back.

I like to say that I really, really love that Wiz Khalifa song, "Black and Gold, Black and Gold, Black and Gold, Black and Gold." Black and yellow. Oh, oh yeah, Black and Yellow! Oh, you know what? Pet peeve! People who call basic-ass colors something fancy. It's yellow, it's not gold! You're wearing black and yellow.

No, it's not gold. The Saints helmet That's gold.

That's gold.

You wear yellow.

No.

Yes. That's old gold.

No, that's not old gold.

That is what it is called. Well, no.

New gold come out.

No, you ever see The Wizard of Oz? The road that they walk on is the same color as the yellow that's on the Steelers.

The gold brick road.

When did new gold come out?

It's black and yellow. Stop with the gold.

He said it was old gold. When did new gold come out?

Do you guys think that Crockett and Tubbs, which of the two do you think cared more about the Dolphins and Miami sports? Crockett.

Oh, definitely.

Crockett's from New York.

Yep.

Oh, well, there you go.

Yeah, there you go.

Conversation.

I know everything.

Can you think those guys in their free time did Crockett when he wasn't, uh, when he wasn't busting up crimes? Do you think he was going to games at the U?

Uh, he's undercover, so I would think so. Yeah, I, I could see, you know, the games would have been at the Orange Bowl. Of course, both teams back then were playing in the Orange Bowl, Dolphins and Hurricanes. So I, I could see Crockett going to the OB every now and then, but, but I don't think Crockett would have been like a diehard sports fan. I think his passion is, is being a detective. I don't think he, I don't think he necessarily has time to actually follow sports, you know what I'm saying?

So Tubbs is from New York. If you move down here in the '80s, you, I'd like to think, and Roy, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but like You moved down here in the '80s, it'd be pretty easy for him to be a Dolphins fan.

No, not right away. Like, it would take time. You don't just switch immediately. People have a little bit of character.

A lot of New Yorkers, fair weather New Yorkers moving down here and just sort of embracing all things Miami.

I would love it.

Like, it would be cool if Crockett and Tubbs, like, once the Heat were like— became— came into existence, like, I got us two tickets, man, we're gonna go see your Knicks against my Heat. Like, high-fiving each other and busting chops and all that.

Good times.

Don Johnson was one of those guys in the Miami Heat's opening season in Miami Arena. He was one of those guys who they would routinely invite to sit near courtside and put on camera.

Yeah, I'm looking for a heartbeat. You know that song?

No. Oh man, I don't think I do.

That's a great song.

That's a great song.

Terrible video was made for a soundtrack and one of the best things MTV ever did was they had like Janeane Garofalo, Dennis Leary, Jon Stewart, and I think Ben Stiller go through like a bottom 25 worst cheesiest music videos that ever aired on MTV.

Really?

And Don Johnson's Heartbeat was up there. That special has to be somewhere on YouTube. It's one of the best things I've ever seen.

MTV used to have incredible VJs. Those are very big names that you just gave us.

Yeah, they weren't VJs.

No, no, no, that was, it was just a special. They came in and they were like, let these comedians riff on these terrible videos the way that Beavis and Butt-Head would.

It was like a predecessor of I Love the '80s, right?

Or whatever. But some of those you remember were VJs, like Gene Garofalo was. Ben Stiller.

Ben Stiller had a show. He wasn't a VJ. He had the Ben Stiller Show was an actual show.

Yep.

A VJ is like, just like, all right guys, coming out, we got the new Backstreet Boys. Like, that's a VJ to me.

Downtown Julie Brown.

Of course. Of course. Ananda. What was the one who passed away recently?

Ananda.

Yeah. Ananda Lewis. Was that her name? Ananda Lewis? How about, man, I used to love that MTV when you used to see Kurt Loder come up on your television. You knew something was happening.

You heard that noise.

Dun dun dun. Popping off.

Who died?

Yep. Shit was popping off. You know Kurt Loder—

Did he toss to the video Black and Gold? Black and gold, black and gold.

Speaking of colors that it's annoying, I always get annoyed, the maize and blue.

Get that out of here.

Michigan?

It's yellow.

It's yellow. Maize and blue. It's yellow. It's yellow.

Honolulu blue.

FSU is like that also. What do they call their color?

Garnet and gold.

But they're—

yeah, but they actually wear— well, I think that's garnet.

It's maroon.

Okay, whatever. But it is gold. That's what gold looks like, Dave Damashek.

And I think if it's a specialty color like that where it's maroon or something like that, like if it was pure purple and they were trying to tell me it was garnet, then I'd be like, relax.

What do the Lakers wear?

They wear purple and yellow.

They say—

they say gold.

Lakers Forum Blue and gold.

You're telling me that they think that's blue?

It's Lakers Forum Blue.

That's not blue. That's not blue.

I'll tell you this, Lakers, you're not wearing blue forum anymore.

Is it Lakers Crypto Blue?

There— you may have noticed there also aren't very many lakes in Los Angeles. Stupid.

Silver Lake. It's very stupid.

Echo Lake.

Say there are any, say there's zeros. Who would get the VJ job if everybody in Miami in that studio right now auditioned to be the next video jockey, which is— that's what VJ stands for. Who would get the gig? Jeremy, here's a sneaky play, Jeremy Taché.

I mean, it's not sneaky because Jeremy just looked at all of us like, come on, what are we talking about?

We're not competing.

It's like, say, hey, who would win a shooting competition?

You'd be rejected. By the masses.

No, you would be. I'm only joking. It would be like how Dave Holmes was a far more colorful guy.

I was just going to say, you'd be like Dave.

I promise you that's not how it works anywhere outside of this building.

No, that's how it works at MTV.

He's got the VJ energy, though. It's like, come on, guys. Coming in at number 2.

You're not familiar with the story of Dave?

No, I have no idea.

Who's Dave Holmes?

Google Dave Holmes.

So Total Request Live had a, you know, B&M TV VJ contest, and the final two is Dave Holmes, who was super qualified, and what was the other guy's name?

Jesse.

Jesse.

Oh, the guy with the long hair that they got from outside.

He had an addiction issue.

Oh, he was all— I mean, like, that's— oh, come on, that's, that's clearly some producer saying, no, give me the comedy of this.

Yep. And that guy was—

it was voted on by the fans.

Yeah.

And I was so mad because Dave, on merit, was— and he still has had a really good career. Good follow. He's really good. He was tremendous. He was absolutely the superior talent, but he was rejected by the masses because he had a little Jeremy going on. Just too clean-cut. On MTV, you gotta be a little rough around the edges. Even Carson, who was super polished, had to have the one black pinky.

Clean-cut? Listen to Mike Ryan! Look, he's trying to talk it into existence now. Look, I got ink. I'm dangerous. Taché.

Fah. Well, I would get it over.

Mike Ryan's your guy in the DJ chair.

Yeah, it's very clear.

Absolutely not.

I'll never forget when they read the results and Dave Holmes just standing there and Jesse went— you could see in Dave Holmes' face like, I can't believe this bullshit. He was so much better.

And Jesse was like, I can't believe how much heroin I'm gonna do.

Whatever happened to Jesse?

Did a lot of heroin.

Do you think he's still with us?

He is.

Oh, okay, there you go.

Did he go— didn't he do celebrity boxing against—

Did he?

Did he? No, did he? Did not.

Okay.

I think that would have surfaced for you if he had passed. I think we would know it, Mike.

Was he not in Celebrity Boxing against— I want to say it was Sticky Fingers.

Oh, Mike, I'm looking forward to— we're going to get to a top 10 greatest movie opening scenes. Oh, that's going to suck.

It's already done.

Yep, cockroach. That's him, Jeremy. That's Jesse right there.

That is the cleanest picture of Jesse I've ever seen in my life.