Transcript of Amin Believes the Miami Heat Can Win It All | Local Hour New

You are listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports app. Now live in all 50 states.

All right, we made it.

We did it.

Barely.

Made it to Friday. Look at this crew. I don't think we've ever worked together before. Wait, what do we got? We got Chris Cody. What do we got? Mike Ryan. We got Roy Bellamy. We got Jeremy Taché. We got Dave Damashek from the West Coast. What's up, Dave?

What's happening, everybody? Yeah, maybe we should just do the entire show today in our best respective Zaslav impressions.

That's a good call.

That's not today.

Sounds awesome.

That's awesome.

There's a lot to get to. A lot locally happening. I went to the Heat game last night. We'll talk about that in a second. But Highlight is back, guys. Can you give me a Highlight update, Mike?

You know how Chris Cody thinks that the Panthers are undefeated? The opposite for the Cyclones. Yeah, we've only drawn and lost. We, uh, your, your favorite runners-up are, are are starting out the gates pretty slow, and we need a dub in the worst way. And tonight, it's a finals rematch. We play the Chargers, and as everyone in the world knows, we lost in devastating fashion to these guys. It went all the way to the final point, and Iñaki double faulted, and that's how we lost the title. They didn't earn the point. It was a very controversial one too.

I think about it every day.

Take me through the NBA on NBC intro monologue going into this rematch. A few short months ago— I gotta do it in my Marv Albert voice. A few short months ago—

A few short months ago?

What the hell was that?

A few short months ago. Try Bob Costas.

Oh, Bob Costas, I would take 3 hours, right? He's so wordy.

A few short months ago. There you go. Take the Vine.

The suss, the cyclones. We're on the precipice.

Just the cyclones, huh?

Really?

Yeah, it's been that way for several years.

Sorry. The Cyclones.

Cyclones.

Okay.

You have fun last night? What happened?

This is my bowling, Chris. I karaoke last night, guys.

What'd you sing?

I sang— I did 2 songs. I did 2 and a half songs, actually, if I must. First, I did Usher, Nice and Slow.

That's karaoke standard.

Crowd pleaser. Then I went to the old reliable, T-Pain, Buy You a Drink. But here's the problem.

Buy You a Drink, that's my go-to.

Went up there and was a full verse in, and I realized— I was like, why? I, I haven't had that much to drink. Why is it so hard for me to remember these lyrics? Why am I having to stare at the screen? Because as you guys know, there's rules to karaoke. Day Damage, you know that there's rules to karaoke?

I don't know what the hell we're doing. We have a giant weekend of football. Seahawks in 49ers.

This is the local hour, sir.

We have huge college football games.

Get back to karaoke.

Yeah, fade him down.

It's local hour, we're doing local things, and karaoke is a competitive sport.

Just power through.

So there are rules to this. One of the rules is if you don't know the song, don't sing it. I know the lyrics are on the screen, but if you have to stare at the screen, then That means you don't know the song. So I find myself staring at the screen, I'm like, what's going on? What's happening to me? And the answer, my friends, is that they gave me the wrong song. They gave me Bartender.

Oh.

And so I'm like—

You know what, upgrade.

It took me all the way up to the hook and I was like, this isn't my song. So then I started singing the hook. This isn't the song I picked, nuh-uh, no way.

But you don't know the lyrics to Bartender?

No.

So you did what you do to our video team when a little mistake happens.

Of course.

Instead of just rolling with it, you're like, let me stop everything.

When T-Pain says they bought us— they brought us drinks to drink, we drunk them, got drunk. Yeah, felt that.

Chris, I don't stop everything. I do roll with it, but I roll with it by pointing it out.

I would like you then— let's just complete the circle here. We're gonna just spin our wheels. I would like you to do T-Pain karaoke as Zaslow.

Go.

They brought us drinks.

Hey, baby girl! Right now it's time to do the nut.

They brought us drinks.

Right now it's time to do the nut.

Were you drunk, homie? Got drunk.

Right now it's time to do the nut.

Very drunk.

Right now it's time to do the nut. I'mma buy you a drink.

Broke up with my girl last night.

So there are other rules to this. Someone picked Bohemian Rhapsody. Get all the way the hell out of here with that. You can't sing—

No, it's not that it's too long, it's that, you know this, I mean, you can't do a song with that long of an instrumental at karaoke.

Yeah, you can't. Well, that, but also that long of a song. It's way too long. It was 3 minutes and had a long instrumental, uh, I would raise an eyebrow, but I'd let it slide. But it's like a 7, 8 minutes.

How do we feel about— in karaoke, I do this move. I did it on the last cruise I was on. You do the first verse and chorus, and then you just go, all right, that's good for me. you just kind of like, I'm done. You fade out, you like give a look to the person controlling it, you're just like, all right, I did it. Everyone laugh.

As long as it's not awkward.

It's cuz I came— I did, I did, uh, Can You Take Me Higher Creed, and I like just nailed like my limited fake Creed.

Yeah.

And it was just so like— I got— I had such a good reaction to the first chorus and verse that I was just like, I'm not going to keep— it's the same joke again, so I'm just going to ride that. I'm going to ride into the sunset.

Girl, I've been shaking, sticking and moving, trying to get to you. And that booty.

And that booty.

That booty. You and that booty.

Right now it's not even doing that. Chris, I wish people had the courtesy like that.

I'm not gonna beat it.

I'm not gonna beat what I just did. Like you said, I hit a high note, literally and figuratively, and I'm gonna walk out on it.

The crowd enjoyed it. Yeah, I don't want— now it's just gonna be a minute of like, oh man, that first verse was awesome.

Yeah, I don't want that. I like that. I might start doing that. I might start doing that.

The best way to be able to capitalize on the second verse or chorus is to then during that second chorus, just stick out that microphone for everybody to join you. But so it's like first one, nail it. Second one, build up to the second chorus. Everybody loves that hook and then stick that microphone out there. Still keep performing it, but you don't need to do that right in the middle.

I'm strong, dog. She got me, got me doing things I never do. If you ain't been, I'm telling you.

Here's the thing, Jeremy. Yes, if you follow the rules of karaoke, which of course I have codified and tabulated for everyone's enjoyment, like don't pick long songs, but also pick a song that the crowd will react to. That we had that last night was, you know, pick a song that nobody knows this song, man. So now we're listening to 4 minutes of you sing a song that no one's like, everyone's on their phone.

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like Jeremy would do that.

You brought the energy down. Never.

There's a deep cut from this album.

Absolutely not. No way.

I've got a fresh lineup.

Would never do that.

Fresh outfit, but I have the parking lot on smash.

A little bit of cherry picking going on, let's be honest.

Plus I got a Chevy with a 454 in the hood, you know. You know about that?

Mike Ryan, I would like you, in honor of your birthday, to sing yourself happy birthday as Jonathan Zaslav.

Yeah, I, I don't know. Well, that's like such a— that's such a downgrade from what I've been doing.

Sing Happy Birthday as Jonathan Zazzle doing the Stephen A. Smith.

What? Oh, okay. The, uh, all right.

Everybody should have to do their worst impression singing Happy Birthday to Mike Ryan. I'll do my Bill Simmons singing Happy Birthday.

Look, that's not the way that birthdays work. You don't make me do things. That's not a way— that's not how a birthday works. Do you know how— do you know how a Birthday works. Do you know how, ah, birthday works?

Happy birthday.

I make the request. I make the request.

What's your request?

My request is, let's cue up the Jonathan Bailey Audible Dracula.

Oh yeah!

I got an idea.

Bring it back!

I got an idea, because I love Dave Damashek's voice, everyone in the audience certainly does. And I don't know if you've heard this clip, Dave, I'm gonna play it for you and the audience. This is from the most recent Audible release of Bram Stoker's Dracula, and here's award-nominated actor Jonathan Bailey Playing Dracula in an incredible scene. This blood that pours from me has your Lucy in it. Now drink.

It is you, the figure in my dreams. Drink.

No, no, no, no, there is no living. You will not wriggle away.

Drink from me.

Ah, and with this baptism of my blood in your mouth, throat, and veins, you shall be my servant! Let me tell you something. Dracula, good fans. Great fans. What I want for my birthday is for Dave Dameshek Huh? To recreate that scene.

As Jonathan Zaslav?

No, as Dave Damashek. As like the Dave Damashek, like, uh, on 11 type of stuff. All right, you bring me that heat, Dave Damashek. Yeah, give me the vigorous lover. All right.

And really, I'm, I'm, I'm a method, uh, performer.

Good, good, good. Yeah, pull that shirt down. I want to be sick in my balls as to how good your Dracula is. And I want your scene partner to be Roy.

Oh, no.

Roy's the other side.

Okay, good.

Wait, you know about that apple?

You got— does everybody have their lines? This is what I want for my birthday.

Wow.

Or you have an apple?

Hold on.

Impromptu.

Roy's got an apple.

Roy's got an apple.

Well, yeah, of course. He always has an apple. Every morning I see Roy, he's throwing that apple up in the sky.

Apple a day.

Dave Damashek, do you have your lines?

I am ready to go. I have my sides.

Okay, uh, now in this scene—

Please only call me Dracula though.

Okay, Dracula, Dracula, I need you to really tap into that fire, that passion.

I will do that now. All right, here we go.

And action.

The blood that pours from me has your Lucy in. Now drink!

It is you. The figure in my dreams.

Drink! No, no, no, no, no, no! There is no leaving! You will not wriggle away. Drink from me! And with this baptism of my blood in your mouth, throat, and veins, you shall be my servant!

Slurp it!

Slurp it!

No!

Slurp it!

Slurp it!

Well done!

Well done!

Bravo! Are we gonna— are we gonna win an Emmy?

Can I say something? Was I nervous to do scene work with Roy? Yeah, pretty intimidating icon in our business. But you know what? He gave me the room. He gave me a playground to take some chances. And that's why I got into the comedy.

I thought it was a little too much from Roy. I think he needed to bring it down a little bit.

That's a good apple, man. That was a real moan.

Take 2. The blood that pours from me as you're losing. Drink. Drink roll!

Hmm. Dan Le Batard.

I don't like the word blue, but I do have at least one pal that I can think of who has— he actually, he says he fell asleep in coitus.

Dave Demachek.

You may look at me and be surprised to hear this. I happen to be a vigorous lovemaker, so that would never happen to me.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

So last night I went to the Miami Heat preseason And guys, I think we've been underselling how good the Heat are.

Oh my God, they're gonna be so good.

Look, before anyone— I get it, it's preseason, but you see things that make you think, oh, that's what it's gonna look like. And I actually have a couple of observations, a top 5, if you will, observations from last night's game. Some all eyes first. OLI!

He's still meth at the count.

It takes him a while to deprogram.

Jack Nicholson was the same way in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

OLI! I saw a guy in the Elser lobby who was barefoot with his foot on the couch.

Hmm.

Was it Vin Baker?

No.

I didn't know whether I should say something or not.

You should have.

I should have said something, right? I feel like a coward.

Put your damn shoes on.

OLI!

So that's an observation from seeing y'all?

'Cause I was on my way to the game.

OLI!

The Miami Heat did the unthinkable. They sold a sponsorship for the game ball. The game ball is now delivered by FedEx.

Hell yeah.

At center court, they come out with a FedEx box, open the box, the ball's inside it. And I just thought, man, is nothing safe?

Well, the Heat, they've done that before.

They have?

Yeah, multiple seasons they've done that. 'Cause it's just another day in the life of the goddamn boss.

I knew that for sure. I pay attention.

OLI!

Rumors of Klay Thompson's defensive demise are greatly exaggerated. That was the last night. That dude last night was swatting down balls and deflections and moving his feet, and I was like, that guy looks pretty spry out there.

That's the thing that's crazy right now is I think it's because there's— he doesn't want to be the weak link. on that group of 5, and he clearly is the weak link in that group of 5. And so he's out there to show like, you don't need to always play Pella in this spot. I could still play defense and we're not gonna be forced to not be able to switch.

I still function.

Oli.

Had I to buy you.

Oli.

The Heat as a team seem to have spent a lot of time in the sun because everybody is very tan.

Hmm.

Klay, that's the darkest I've ever seen Klay. All right, number 5. This is gonna sound dumb. Giannis is huge.

Hmm.

I told Mike Ryan last night, I realized I have not seen Giannis live in person many times in my, in my life. And so seeing him come out and I was like, good Lord, it doesn't translate over TV. On TV he looks kind of slender. in real life, he's massive.

He's a monster.

Yeah.

It kind of washed over me yesterday in talking about this with Amin. Lost in all of the predictive analysis about how the NBA is going to go this season is no one's really considering, including me, no one had really considered that Giannis could just remain as good as the last time we saw him playing at an elite level. Mike, it's not— it's not baked into anybody's analysis.

When you say remain as good, We're talking about an MVP-caliber player now playing for Coach Spoelstra, right? Like, it sounds insane to say right now, but it's like, oh shit, he might win MVP.

Yeah, like, he's the prize of the offseason. That's the best player available. If Giannis is what he was, and he's a genetic freak, I mean, if anybody can bounce back from an injury, it'd be that guy. He looks incredible.

Number 4, Damian Mitchell.

Number 4, the Heat are gonna play fast as hell. Like, I was shocked how many times they ran. They ran constantly.

No, that's the thing. I mean, like, if you watch their team last year, they were constantly running, and that was with a team that included Norman Powell and Tyler Herro and Kalau Ware. And the beneficiary of all of their easy buckets because of the fast break was a guy who finished in top 3 in 6th Man of the Year in Jaime Jaquez Jr., and they helped rejuvenate his career off of a bad second year. The guy who's going to be the beneficiary of most of those baskets now is Giannis Antetokounmpo, getting him easy buckets, let alone his ability to create his own shot. Like, they're gonna move.

Number 3, Giannis' pin-downs are gonna be unguardable. They, they were So he said pin-down screens for Klay Thompson, for Tim Hardaway Jr., for anyone who's coming off of that curl, like Jović. It's like you're gonna have to make a decision. Either this guy's gonna get a bucket or this guy's gonna dunk it.

Pick your poison.

Your pip, your poison.

Pick your poison.

Pick it.

I mean, how likely is it? You know how sort of in the here and now of pro football, Sean McVay has sort of jumped the league a little bit by putting 3 tight ends out there. That's his preferred way, and defenses don't really know how to respond to it because football has gone a certain way the last couple of years. How likely is it that the Heat can sort of change the conversation about the way the Eastern Conference is flowing in terms of style of play? Can they just go big on everybody? And for all the concern, all the hand-wringing, like, what are they going to do, have 2 7-footers out there? That's not going to— Can that work and sort of change the way you have to play basketball? Is that a winning path because no one else is able to do it? Or the other side of that is, can the Sixers do it because they now have LeBron and Embiid and can match that?

Yes and no. So the Heat, I think they're going to open with Giannis and Bam, they're going to close with Giannis and Bam, but in the middle they're going to alternate a lot. They alternated a lot last night. Uh, and they obviously didn't play in the second half. They only played in the first half. So yes and no. I think there's still going to be long stretches where it's like one of those guys and 4 shooters out there on the floor. They'll have that a lot going for them. The Sixers is different because they don't have the shooting. That's the interesting thing to me is if you look at the Sixers roster, they have good shooters, they have streaky shooters. They don't have like a crazy knockdown, never leave him alone. They got the type of shooters, if the guy misses his first couple, Defenders are going to start sagging. So I'm very interested to see either who for the Sixers is gonna make a shooting leap or how Nick Nurse is gonna figure it out. But I digress. Gotta go to my number 2 point observation from last night. Jović threw a BS lob to Giannis who caught it awkwardly in the paint in the first quarter and everyone's asshole puckered up.

Hmm.

Because he did the— that weird, like, his legs are really wide apart and his knees are kind of almost knocking. as he's trying to scramble to pick up the ball. And it was just like, uh, because in my mind I saw it happen. It was like, yeah, the guy's amazing, and then kaput. I don't know which one to shoot. My number 1 observation from last night's Miami Heat game, the play where Giannis— they're, they're, they're running the break Tim Hardaway Jr.'s leading, he's coming down the right side. Giannis is like maybe a step behind half court screaming, get me the ball! Tim Hardaway throws it to him, he takes like 2 dribbles, left-hand dunk over, I believe it was Yves Missy, uh, and-1. It was electric. But like the way he covers ground so quickly, it's breathtaking. It was breathtaking to watch. I was sitting on media row and there was a couple times where everyone's just kind of looking at each other like, Jesus Christ. This is gonna be different. Yeah, that's the dunk right there.

It's amazing. No, I mean, he's gonna be so good in this offense. And, and he even spoke after the game about he needs to kind of get used to playing this fast because he's never played like this before. And this is a different supporting cast. Like, I'm not gonna immediately, before they've even played a game, say it's the best supporting cast. He's won a championship. Yeah, like, obviously you have Jrue Holiday and those guys at the height of their powers. That's the best one. No, but what he has now is it allows him to play differently. Oh no.

And what? We're doing it.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh no, we're doing that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're doing the thing. We've lost Dave. Like, we've lost maybe everybody.

You will not wriggle away!

Mike, I'm gonna say it to you like this. Everyone's gonna listen to this segment and say, oh, here they go, heat homers, whatever.

No, we're gonna be right.

We're gone.

Dog, there was a point last night where I was looking up at the banners and I said, They're going to move those numbers over because that 7 is going to go up there. That 7's going up there.

Yeah, it is.

It's going.

And in the corner, there will be a Goran Dragic.

Yeah.

I heard on the radio some buzz for the Indiana Pacers' chances of getting out of the East. I mean, why do— I mean, this is a fascinating Eastern Conference all of a sudden, right?

Yeah.

I mean, the number of— I mean, the reigning champion, one of the most iconic championship runs that we've seen in any sport in the last decade, at least from the Knickerbocker And it's funny that given the large S of New York City team, high profile, that that isn't the buzz. That the Knickerbockers, can they repeat? It's more about who can survive this Eastern Conference, right?

I mean, I thought the Pacers kind of had this season in mind with their roster management last year. But the concern is not just Haliburton coming off an injury, but he had a weird recovery and people aren't exactly sure if he's going to return to form.

Yeah, he had shingles. He caught shingles.

Yeah, but also like he had a reaction to the medication that forced him to gain some weight, and he didn't look like he was in playing shape, and that was just a couple months ago.

Yeah, I think, I think part of this verve for the Pacers is based off the last time we saw them when they were good, right? Which is during the Finals. But people forget they were like a lower-seeded team that had to go on the road and win a couple of series in order to get to the Finals. And there's a level of almost amnesia people get when a team does well in the playoffs. It's like, yeah, but your regular season wasn't great. It reminds me on the player level, like Gabe Vincent, the year that the Heat went to the Finals. He was incredible in that playoff run, but it's like, everyone's like, he signed with the Lakers, oh, they got a shooter. I'm like, you haven't watched Gabe Vincent.

Yeah, he was just hot.

He just got hot at the right time. And so I'm not saying the Pacers are like, oh, I'm not selling on them, but I'm just saying in terms of an excitement about them. They're gonna— there's gonna be an adjustment there that they've got to do, and then they've got to be superlative in a way that they weren't.

Well, who are then the— for all the buzz around various teams, boil it down for us real quick here. Who are the teams that can realistically get all the way through the East and get to the Finals? I know you have to jump to the last page of the novel here that hasn't even been cracked yet, but still. Do your best. You told us, by the way, you said it when the Knickerbockers were not the clear-cut favorite there.

I, I—

At least that's where he slipped up.

We're in good shape here.

You're not—

your pal Dave's never going to slip up there with Knickerbockers ever.

Dan Le Batard.

Let's throw it to my boy Jeremy Taché, who's sideline right now. Cash money, what you got for me?

Jeremy Taché.

Thanks, Jax.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show.

You said it when it was murky at best for Brunson and company, and you said, that's the team. Forget about the Celtics, forget about everybody else. That's the team that's going to get to the Finals. And so it was. So now do it again. I mean, who can survive this Eastern Conference for all the buzz around various teams?

I think, I think it's—

Tell us, tell us the handful.

The handful.

If you're going to have a hiccup, you want it to be on Bockers.

That's for sure.

That's right.

The Knicks are still number 1 in the East.

Drink!

Yeah.

Knickerbocker. OG Anunoby.

Number 2, I'm gonna go—

You didn't answer my question!

I did. I just said the Knicks.

You said the Knicks are at the top. Only team that can get to the Finals is the Knicks.

I said—

No!

He's giving me all the teams.

He said 1 and now there's a number 2.

It was red alert after the Hickok.

Talk about intriguing.

Talk about intriguing teams and all that, but what teams can actually get through it? Are you saying the Heat are one of those teams that would— that you would say, yeah, I could see that team get into the Finals?

Yeah, yeah, Dave, here's how it works. You ask me a question, you let me answer the question. It jumped forward to number 2.

Oh, I thought you were going on to number 2 on your other list.

No, you already finished that list. That list is done. Number 1 was that left-handed dunk by Giannis over Imisi.

Oh, so you're now into, into my list?

I'm answering your question.

Take it away, Amin. Drink.

I, I— the Knicks are, are my clubhouse leader. And then other than Knicks, I would say the Heat, I would say the Sixers, and this is going to be controversial, the Toronto Raptors.

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Toronto Raptors are up. Ameen had a great Raptors take, and it wasn't just that because I'm on with the Raptors. I like that. I like that call a lot. But we were watching a commercial for the NHL and Marshawn Lynch was featured. Oh yeah, and he was, he was in the crowd and he was— and Marshawn Lynch has had this very interesting post-playing career, right, where he went from like the anti-media guy, surly, surly, mean, to people very short in interviews to being this great character.

Great personality.

Yeah. Opens up and is just known for having fun. Amin had a great call that I fully agree with.

I think Kawhi Leonard is the next Marshawn Lynch.

Hmm.

I think when he's done playing, you're going to see a guy with great personality and smiles and like having fun. The fun guy.

It's a good take.

Yeah.

He is a fun guy.

Did you guys see him getting interviewed by somebody in Toronto where they just like harmlessly asked him if he was getting any free meals around Toronto and he just was like, nope, nothing free. Not getting anything free.

No NCAA violations here. Dave, I want to ask you, Lynch.

Well, wait a second. Your list there, the thing that's controversial, you said it's controversial to say the Raptors. What stands out is that you didn't say the Celtics. So the Celtics cannot realistically get to the Finals this year?

I don't think so, no. I don't even think they get to the conference finals. You can put that— all right, there's your clip. Elhassan, I don't think the Celtics can get to the finals. Elhassan, no finals for Celtics, not even the conference finals. Elhassan, Celtics S-U-X.

At least 4 teams, and you didn't name the Pacers as one of the teams that could get to the finals, but they apparently are a factor as well. But Celtics and Pacers are 5-6-ish in your book.

Yeah, and, and I would throw Atlanta there too.

You also have named the Cavs or the Pistons or the Hornets. And I don't believe that any of those are capable of, of getting there personally. But those are teams like the Pistons were the number 1 seed last year. The Cavs still have both Donovan Mitchell and James Harden. The Hornets were a team that in the second half of the year was incredible. And they made the move of LaMelo Ball for Naz Reid, which a lot of people believe is, is obviously going to help them.

So my thing is this. It's easier to count the bad teams in the East than to count the good teams. All those teams you named are good. The Celtics are good. They don't suck. Unless you're making an infographic, in which case, S-U-X, right? But if we're talking about the, the best, yep, the best of them, it's the 4 you said for sure. That, that's, that's my— that's the way I see it. Uh, maybe I might change my mind, like some people have changed their mind apparently. We got some sound here.

I'm really fighting off the urge to wonder if, if I might have been wrong on, uh, being too glass half empty on Miami. So I watched some of their preseason game. It's great, it's preseason. Giannis looks great.

I said the 14 minutes swung you, swung you.

Giannis looks great. I have still no idea how him and Bam are gonna play, but obviously they're swing guys, Wiggins, because you could even, you know, you can see it from when you read this stuff and just in general, like Giannis is just, he creates open space for guys. You still have to put the wall up if he has the head of steam and I just think Wiggins is in a nice spot.

Oh my gosh, that, that gives a voice to what dawned on me yesterday. No one had considered that Giannis can still be elite.

He, he played 36 games last year. In those 36 games, he averaged 27.6 points, 9.8 rebounds, and shot 62% from the field.

It was maybe his most efficient and prolific year of his career when he was on the floor, and everybody looked at 36 games and believed that all of those games that he was out was due to just being banged up. Dude, he was trying to get out of Milwaukee.

Like, he was, he was hurt, but they were different types of injuries. No, let me tell you, he was hurt for a few games, but the end of the year was them sitting him, right?

There was a whole fight about it. There were reports about that.

So Eric Naim, who now covers the Heat for The Athletic but covered the Bucks the last few years, Eric Naim told me, we would come out to them warming up, and Giannis would go through these incredibly intense workouts and cap everything with like windmill dunks and reverse dunks and shaking the rim. And it was basically like his passive-aggressive way of telling everybody, I'm fine, I can play right now, but they're not letting me. So this idea that there's somehow been a slippage, it reminds me of the Dr. Dre line. They said— they say that Dre fell off. How? My last album was The Chronic. It's like Yeah, man, last time you saw me, I was incredible.

Last time was a chronic.

There you go, beat me to it, Mike.

Hey, he forgot about Dre. You don't do that. You don't forget about Dre.

I wanted to ask Mike, on your birthday— and happy birthday, um, I'm still waiting for you to sing it to yourself as Jonathan Zaslav, but all right.

As Stephen A. Smith.

I'm curious— oh, that'd be good too. Um, I can grant you one birthday wish. A Hurricanes national championship this year, or, you know, January, a Miami Heat title—

No, that's not—

In springtime, or a time machine in which you can travel to whatever concert in music history.

Whoa.

That, that. But only one.

Wow. Only once?

And what if I then say you don't get the opportunity for the other options?

Oh.

Ever.

So like—

Ever again. Ever again.

So I don't leave the Hurricanes a chance.

You don't get to see the Hurricanes one.

Ever again.

Canes. If you choose the Canes, you're ruling out the Heat for, say, the next decade. You can't— they will definitely not win a title.

Any bans on YouTube, dude, you gotta go Canes.

Yeah, I'm going Canes. I'm going Canes, especially if like you're writing them off for a decade and I don't leave their title chances to, uh, to chance and Mario Cristobal. No, give me the Canes championship all day. I— you will never see me happier in my entire life than when the Canes get number 6.

Can I Can I just say that a time machine that can only take you one time, and it only takes you to a concert— For the DMX at Woodstock? Like, that sounds like a shitty time machine.

What are you talking about? DMX at Woodstock?

Don't you complain about my time machine! If you want to get a time machine, go get your own goddamn machine! I just offered this one to Mike Ryan as a birthday gift because I'm an empath and I'm a generous soul and I want him to have a happy birthday, and you're bellyaching about the quality of my time machine.

If you're an empath, give him a time machine that actually gives him something good! Like being able to get some stocks invested or, or, or predict a Super Bowl.

Come on, come on, come on. That's not the way that a Dave Damashek hypothetical works.

What?

That's not the way a Dave Damashek hypothetical works.

I know, that's why it needs work.

Change championship or you get in at the beginning of Bitcoin?

Change championship.

No, come on now.

Although if I got in at the beginning of Bitcoin, we might have already won a championship because a lot of that money would have gone to the Roz.

It's funny, like, people who invested in Bitcoin, like, oh, I got in early and now it's like worth, you know, $30,000 or whatever. Like, that's cool, but it's like, it's not actual money until you cash it, right? Like, you could be Bitcoin rich, but you're just holding on to it tonight. You're not actually able to like have yachts and stuff, right?

I— if I— I assume if I did get in early enough, I would have sold a good chunk of it.

I assume that you sell, and maybe you can hold on to some, but I think you would sell most.

Sell most?

Yeah, if you want to be—

At the perfect time, at its peak, of course.

Like, what else am I supposed to do?

When's the peak though?

The peak was like a couple years ago.

Yeah, but then, but then like, while you have it, when it hit $3,000 a Bitcoin, you might have thought, oh my God, this is the peak. But it like—

No, I would have known.

No, I would have, I would have nailed it.

I would have known exactly when to get out.

I would have been like, hold.

You guys have diamond hands.

You guys ever think about like that, like this time travel construct of like, when I go back, do— am I just— is it just me and I'm walking around and doing—

They got 3 minutes, bro.

It's like the Nate Bargatze thing of like, I couldn't help, I would be useless if I went back to the '20s. Like, yeah, we have internet someday, but I have no clue how to help get us there.

Or am I going back to a younger version of me and sitting him down and say, look, because I could see— here's the messed up part.

Queen at Live Aid, Wembley.

I could see myself sitting down with younger me and saying, you need to take what little money you have and invest it in Bitcoin.

Dude, they made a movie. That scene is recreated. I can watch that. I can go home and watch it.

And I could see younger me being like, get out of here. Like, just not listening. Like, no, you idiot.

Like, Bitcoin.

I'd be like Biff in Back to the Future.

Get an almanac.

All right, then make like a tree and get out of here. And I'd smack myself. It's leave, you idiot. I, I could see that happening to me, and it scares me. It terrifies me, if I'm being honest.

Don't mess with the— don't go into the past. That's the cardinal rule.

Why?

You're gonna disrupt everything that happens after. You're not gonna be sitting where you are. You understand what I mean? The lessons taught to us by the Terminator series, the airtight logic of 1 and 2 of the Terminator— once you get past that, it's a different story, but once you settle into 1 and 2, It is airtight logic in the same— on the same level of Groundhog Day. Everything that would happen kind of checks out. But if you go into the past and you tamper at all, if you have a conversation with past Ameen, present Ameen is not sitting in the chair that he's sitting in right now. You understand that, don't you?

Yes, but I'm all right with that. And also, I think that—

You know about that butterfly effect?

That whole cautionary tale—

Is that Ashton Kutcher? Amy Smart. Great fan.

Big follower of Amy Smart. I think that whole cautionary tale about time travel thing, Dave, is— it's like, that's what they tell you so that you don't want this thing that's awesome. It's like, oh, it's really terrible, you don't know what might happen. Like, no, it's— I'm good with it. I'm all right. It's a wonderful life. Yeah.

That's what they tell you. Who are the conspirators filling your head with this, with this, to— so that you don't get into the time machine?

It's the people that they're trying to keep it from us.

Someone probably got in the time machine given the current state of affairs.

Absolutely!

It probably already happened.

What, a future where Biff is married? It was corrupt, rich and corrupt, and married to your Slovenian?

Ameen, no, wait, just for the record, Ameen is questioning the, the, the people who have come up with the time machine and the rules and the warnings they have given to us. You're already skeptical of those warnings?

Yeah, I think they're lying to us. I think it's awesome.

I have a, I have a hypothetical for Chris Cody.

Okay.

Shoot.

Kane's guy. Kane's national title.

Okay.

Or, ah, Cyclones win.

Give me that dub.

One win.

It's a bad year so far.

Just one.

Just one.

It's been brutal.

Ah, ah, ah, win.

I'm a fun guy.