Transcript of The Passing Lane Is THE LAW? | Hour 1 New

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
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00:00:00

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00:00:57

This is the Dan Le Batard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

00:01:05

00:01:05

This episode of the Dan Le Batard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

00:01:10

You guys know if you've been listening to a while, for a while to this, that I'm like perpetually confused about some of the things happening in journalism. So when Zaslo yesterday says, 'None of the reporters reporting on any of the Giannis stuff know anything.' It seems to me, even though it feels accurate, wrong, like morally wrong, for a bunch of people in journalism to be talking about this at all times and to leave you with the impression that nobody talking about anything has any expertise or information that's real. So I want to know who you guys trust when Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe says flatly the Celtics are not shopping Jaylen Brown. This is a reporter for a newspaper. I know Greg and I, if somebody does it for a newspaper, because of where our standards are, we know that stuff has to be vetted. We know that stuff has to be accurate. You know, you're not allowed to make up sources. You're not allowed to make shit up. You can make shit up on radio.— you can make shit up on television. That's not something you can do in newspapers. So for me, when a newspaper reporter says that, I tend to believe it.

00:02:29

Yeah. But I think Greg and I are in the minority on this. I don't think most people— when I say Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe says flatly the Celtics are not shopping Jaylen Brown, and then I see all over television, here's why Jaylen Brown should be hurt, here's why he should be insulted, Who's got it right?

00:02:47

I mean, Dan, this is why I do believe that my explanation for why I said that yesterday, that you— that these people, they don't know anything. My, my rationale for that is because, like you said, on TV people are saying something different. I think that this is the only story right now in the NBA. Finals are over. This is the story, and it's going to carry us for the next week. Until the draft. And if your employer looks at you and says, "What do you got? This is the big story. Do you have any rumors? Do you have any intel? Do you have any sources?" You gotta come up with something.

00:03:25

Not rumors.

00:03:25

It's not supposed to be rumors.

00:03:27

I know!

00:03:28

Look, I don't know this reporter, but I do know the reputation of the Boston Globe. It's one of the greatest papers and one of the greatest sports sections in American print journalism, if there's any of that left. But I also know that sometimes a reporter's best source misleads. Sometimes you talk to an agent and the agent has his ulterior motive for what he's telling you. I'm not saying that's the case here, but it, it can be the case a lot of times.

00:03:55

When I'm talking, though, about the erosion of standards all the time around here, and I want to ask you guys this because it's a silly little thing in sports, but we are in a misinformation time. We are in a time where it's getting more and more confusing to know what's true on the internet, what's a fact and what's not a fact. I'm just curious what the audience does with. Greg and I know because we come from newspapers the consequences and danger of getting things wrong in a newspaper. It's not like radio. Colin Cowherd says it pays to be loud wrong. Like, it's not like television. You can get it wrong all the time. The standard is different, but the standard is one that no one cares about anymore. The standard isn't dying. The standard is dying. The standard is dead. So when I ask you, who's got the right information on what you care about most, that's the best story in sports, the biggest story in sports, who's got the most credible information, what do you do with the fact that Greg and I are over here on an island saying, well, I believe newspaper reporters, but when I say to this audience, Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe, they all say, no, Kendrick Perkins knows more, or Gasbag X knows more, or Nick Wright knows more, or nobody listening to this, I think, says Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe is more credible than all of these people who have bigger, better platforms with more reach.

00:05:28

And in the erosion of that standard, truth gets lost. Like, it just evaporates.

00:05:33

Is it as simple as— and Gary Washburn, by the way, very credible NBA guy, all right? Is it as simple as Gary Washburn doesn't have to fill up time. The guys on television— your show's happening no matter what. From this time to this time, every day, Monday through Friday, this show is happening whether you have information or not, so you better have some information.

00:05:54

Right.

00:05:54

But I just mentioned sometimes your source is an agent who has an ulterior motive. Sometimes your source is with the team that wants a certain message put out there. OK, if the Boston Celtics want to put out there that they're not thinking of trading Brown, then maybe they feed that line.

00:06:12

But don't those reporters, isn't from experience, can't they usually, like they understand what you're saying, right?

00:06:21

Right, right, they do. And normally you'd have more than one source on a story of this size, but the other thing is this is, it can be a very fluid story. Like what is written one day can become not true 2 days later because circumstances change.

00:06:38

I'm asking you, though, you're offering me all the qualifiers, and what I'm telling you, Greg, is no, you can't go to print with what a source says if you haven't verified it and think it's a lie. No, the standard that you're talking about right now, you're lowering it to where I'm saying the standard has been all of my life on reporter, not columnist, not opinion person.

00:06:57

Right.

00:06:57

And this is a distinction I don't think most people make. I don't think that the grand majority of people listening to this make any sort of distinction between the person who's in a newspaper who's giving you facts and the person who's on television giving you opinions.

00:07:11

I think most diehard sports fans know that difference. I think the casual sports fan 100% thinks what Nick Wright is saying is just as informed as reporters, but I do think the diehard sports fan can tell the difference between a guy giving opinions on TV and the guy who's breaking news.

00:07:26

So if I— you think if I ask this audience right now that the polling's gonna go well for Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe if I put him against any—

00:07:35

Over Kendrick Perkins, who do you trust more to break news in the NBA?

00:07:37

No, no, no, who's more credible? Not, no, not break news. Who's more credible? Their information is correct. When you start skewing the lines between facts and opinions and you give the bigger platforms and the bigger rewards to the people who are giving opinions, facts get lost.

00:07:54

They get drowned.

00:07:55

When you're giving all the money to the people who have to fill the time with rumors, with "I've gotta have a hot take," like, what gets lost in that avalanche is there's just no way, none, that this audience thinks Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe is more credible than Chris Broussard, than Nick Wright, than Kendrick Perkins. Bam outta the bayou.

00:08:17

You think so? Really?

00:08:18

I believe that. Do you guys think I'm wrong?

00:08:22

I think you're wrong to an extent. Maybe you're underestimating the audience a little bit there. Like, maybe the super casual, like, really uninformed fan says, "Hey, that guy's on television, he must know the most." But I don't think you're giving the audience enough credit in that slide.

00:08:39

My credibility vote would go to Washburn in this case, with very little hesitation. But I also acknowledge that Kendrick— chances are Kendrick Perkins has a good friend who knows Jaylen Brown very well, more so than Washburn does, you know what I mean? Like Kendrick Perkins probably has more inside information in terms of knowing somebody who knows Jaylen Brown directly.

00:09:04

The problem becomes that the facts guy are usually boring and you don't put them on TV. The hot take guy is the entertainment of what you want to watch. You know, God bless his heart, Gary Washburn might be a great guy, but he might be kind of boring. That's why he's not there with Kendrick Perkins. That's why he's writing this column on the Boston Globe. Dan, I think the thing that skews it and goes back to your original point— thank you, Chris— is if you put Boston Globe in parentheses on the poll, I think people will be like, "Oh, okay, yeah, I get that." If you put Gary Washburn, nobody knows who that is, respectfully.

00:09:34

Uh, put it on the poll.

00:09:35

To him and his family.

00:09:36

Put it on the poll. Who's more credible? Wait till you see how this one comes back. Who's more credible, Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe Kendrick Perkins. Bam, out of the park. You know why you don't—

00:09:48

But I feel like we could word that differently. Like, like cred— just the blanket statement of credible, I think you're gonna win. But if I put who's— who do you trust more on NBA news?

00:09:56

Yeah.

00:09:57

Kendrick or Gary Washburn?

00:09:59

It's not the same thing.

00:10:00

I'm telling you though, you just like—

00:10:02

Those are different things.

00:10:02

No, but blanket credibility, because it's just like, oh, he played in the NBA, he's got to be credible on the NBA. If we're talking about breaking news, I trust your information.

00:10:09

But credibility on what? Like credibility on, on, you know, what to buy? Like who, like who played better today?

00:10:16

Okay, obviously Kendrick's more credible. Yeah.

00:10:20

Whose information is more accurate? What do you mean, yeah? How can you defend that you jumped up in the air?

00:10:26

You got caught in the air, Danny.

00:10:27

You got caught in the air.

00:10:27

How can you defend that you jumped up in the air with what you thought was an analogy and then you just said— What do you mean, like the produce section?

00:10:35

Yeah.

00:10:36

Oranges, zaps.

00:10:36

Who's got more credibility in picking the apples that, you know, don't have any bruises?

00:10:40

That's what you just saw, right? The melons? Zazz jumped up in the air for an alley-oop, he grabbed the ball and threw it out of bounds. Like, he did not have any idea what to do with the ball.

00:10:49

He's got more credibility picking up bananas that don't have the bruises. That's important.

00:10:54

The avocados that aren't ripe enough. The fact that we don't know what facts are anymore, that that part is skewed. The idea, and I know, Greg, that you and I are gonna be biased about this, And I'm not gonna lament it anymore after this inside of this segment. But the fact that the person watching this, that Zaslav's saying to me, Dan, you're underestimating the audience here. What I'm doing is actually talking about people I've talked to over 30 years who don't care about newspapers the way I do. And I'm always sort of marveling that they don't make a distinction between what the columnist does and what the beat reporter does, that nobody cares— nobody cares about journalists as much as journalists do. Nobody thinks about this stuff very much at all. So when I tell you Kendrick Perkins, if he tells you Jaylen Brown is going to be traded, and if Gary Washburn tells you or writes Jaylen Brown is going to be traded, I believe that we've gotten to the point now— it's taken a long time— that more of the fans believe Kendrick Perkins just because he's got the louder microphone, the louder megaphone, than of the Boston Globe.

00:12:17

That means something to me and Greg. That makes Roy make dinosaur sounds when we talk about poor Gary Washburn of the Boston Globe. And I want to put it on the poll, please, @LebatardShow. Bless his heart, Gary Washburn, yes or no? Yes.

00:12:33

Bless his heart.

00:12:33

I would bless his heart.

00:12:35

That'd be great.

00:12:35

Yeah, I would bless his heart.

00:12:36

Tony, I've never heard you say that, you know, you preface a point you're making with a "bless his heart." Yeah. Why did Gary Washburn, of all people you've ever talked about—

00:12:46

Why did you bless his heart?

00:12:47

Yeah, because, you know, bless his heart, like—

00:12:48

You don't even know him!

00:12:49

I don't know him. Like, I picture him kind of like a Greg Cody, like—

00:12:52

Can you bless someone's heart that you know?

00:12:55

I do enough.

00:12:56

But why? But why? It's a good question by Zazz, okay? I want to know what you think you were avoiding by sending blessings toward the heart of Gary Washburn.

00:13:05

I just wanted to throw that in the beginning just in case if I came down hard on him, I had the blessings on the front end, right?

00:13:10

It's the same thing as the Broussard and all these sounds of like, oh, Spaulding's a good coach, great place, but don't go there. You're just undercutting everything you say right before it.

00:13:17

It's just like I was going to call him not entertaining, not knowing him. He might be great at parties.

00:13:22

So you blessed his heart.

00:13:23

So I blessed his heart on the front end.

00:13:24

That's accurate, actually.

00:13:25

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00:14:41

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00:15:15

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00:15:15

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00:17:08

Don Lebatard.

00:17:09

I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public.

00:17:15

Stugatz.

00:17:15

Don't do it.

00:17:16

This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

00:17:24

I condone Tony's blessing of the heart of Washburn. You know, if Washburn's in the room here and sneaks Jesus, I bless him.

00:17:39

Here's why I don't condone the blessing of his heart. This is the reason I don't.

00:17:43

You're anti-blessing his heart?

00:17:44

I am, and I'll tell you why. I'm against the blessing of the heart of Gary Washburn, and I've got conviction about my stance here. I will not bless the heart of Gary Washburn because that's pity you put in a costume. That's insult— you condescended Gary Washburn. You pitied his heart as weaker than your heart and said, "God bless it, my heart's better." That was an insult that you disguised as a god blessing.

00:18:08

That's how I get the dollar back from the cashier.

00:18:10

But then you got a penny. You did fraud where you took a penny from the cashier by confusing the person with the math, and what you just did was you blessed the heart of Gary Washburn and you covered it in pity, and he doesn't want your pity.

00:18:22

He might be a great reporter, and I think he is. He may not be an entertaining guy on TV. That's why I gave the blessing on the front end. Hey, bless his heart. He's not as exciting as Kendrick Perkins on TV. He might be at parties. He might bring the wine and bring a baby, have a great time. I don't know.

00:18:34

That's Tony knowing and viewing himself as more entertaining than Gary Washburn. That's what that is. It's not just Kendrick Perkins. It's, "I know I'm entertaining, so I've got to dish out some pity there to good old Gary Washburn." Speaks the truth.

00:18:48

He would want a blessed heart.

00:18:50

Thank you, Grant. Not wrapped in pity. He doesn't want Tony's pity.

00:18:52

Why does Gary Washburn want Tony's pity? I don't hear it as pity.

00:18:55

It is pity.

00:18:55

Thank you, Grant.

00:18:56

Blessings to all of us.

00:18:56

Is it pity or is it not pity?

00:18:58

It's definitely not not pity.

00:19:01

Not not pity.

00:19:02

Put it on the poll. Who's more entertaining, Tony or Gary Washburn? Also, who's more credible? Two separate polls.

00:19:10

What? Yeah.

00:19:13

Uh.

00:19:14

He's setting me up both, by the way. He's setting me up for both.

00:19:16

Yeah.

00:19:16

Uh, Sazh, to the larger point around all of this stupidity, when you can't trust that the information is accurate, is it fair in any way fair in any way for Jaylen Brown to experience as the part of doing business that everyone is considering whether or not he's being shopped, even though if Gary Washburn and his blessed heart are right, the truth is they're not shopping Jaylen Brown, if that is indeed the truth, and we are making a bunch of content out of it. Does that seem fair to you in any way?

00:19:58

No. And this is also why I believe this deal is going to be done very soon. Because the longer that you keep this out there, the longer that the Celtics continue to poke around, you know, and see if we can get a deal done without even including Jaylen Brown, the longer it goes on, the further away you get from being able to keep Jaylen Brown moving forward next season. Because it's like, hey, you were considering this way too long before you decided you love me and want to keep me. And it's why I think this deal is going to happen soon.

00:20:31

Ramona Shelburne is credible.

00:20:34

Yes.

00:20:34

Everyone comes from writing. Her information is almost never wrong. She says the teams around the league believe Jaylen Brown being available is just speculation. Quote, what I've heard from teams around the league, it's just more speculation. I think the Boston Celtics would tell you that they love Jaylen Brown. All this is, is leverage, though. All this is, is a moment of maximum leverage. If I were the Heat, this would all make me wildly uncomfortable because the most desperate team in this equation is the Miami Heat in terms of just sheer desperation. They've been out there for a long time bothering Tyler Herro and anyone who's on their team because they're like, yep, it would appear, even though we don't say anything, we're all in on Giannis. You know that we are thinking about Giannis. All of the reports say that. And their offer, whether it's been the same or not, hasn't been good enough for the Bucs for many, many months.

00:21:34

I don't— I disagree with you. I don't believe that.

00:21:37

They would have made the trade if the offer was good enough.

00:21:39

No, I don't believe that because Milwaukee— Milwaukee was not in a rush to make the trade. Milwaukee knew if they waited till the end of the season, at the very least we get an extra draft pick out of Miami.

00:21:47

But now they're still waiting because they're waiting to see if the offer can be made better by anyone. Like, that's Otherwise they would have already taken the offer. Why wouldn't they already? They would have already taken it if they weren't saying, no, this offer, we might settle for it. But this offer, the way that it is, no, we're going to see what else comes in. We have time to see what else comes in.

00:22:08

But Milwaukee owns the grand prize right now. They're, they're not incentivized to rush their decision. They have time because the offers will— if there is competition, if Boston really is in this with Miami, there's— the longer they wait, the better the offers are going to get.

00:22:26

Milwaukee's deadline's draft day.

00:22:28

Right.

00:22:28

That's like— so yeah, I'm with you. They, they're in no rush until Tuesday of next week. That's the deadline.

00:22:36

And for everybody talking about the Miami Heat's package and Kawhi Leonard and Hakim and, and Tyler Herro and all the picks and stuff, if you're talking about a non-Jalen Brown trade for the Boston Celtics, you're talking about Vucevic, you're talking about Derrick White, Payton Pritchard.

00:22:49

It's not good.

00:22:50

It's not good.

00:22:50

There's nothing there.

00:22:51

No, it's got to be with Jalen Brown or it doesn't work. Like, that's the reason that people are talking about, and that's the reason that there's a difference between all of the reporting. But, uh, when we talk about the opinion makers, and you just heard Wilbon crush Giannis, and you heard an assortment of others get very forgetful about what this player is, I will just remind you that we still have this sound from all of the experts as it regarded Jalen Brunson going to the Knicks. Jalen Brunson isn't the answer.

00:23:22

It's an awful idea.

00:23:23

And for what? To go all in in hopes of signing Jalen Brunson?

00:23:28

And by the way, he's not a 1. I'm not even sure he's a real 2. And I worry that they're gonna— they're gonna look at Jalen Brunson, they're like, wait, we spent $27 million a year on this?

00:23:39

I think the Thunder are going to destroy them.

00:23:41

The saddest sweepstakes ever. The Jalen Brunson sweepstakes. Is Jalen Brunson one of the 10 best point guards in basketball.

00:23:52

Maybe he's 10. I don't think he's top 10.

00:23:54

I mean, he might not be top 14.

00:23:56

I don't think this is a move that puts them into playoff contention.

00:23:59

It's got to be something in addition to Jalen Brunson.

00:24:01

It is not going to be the type of player that elevates them into contender status. But I mean, do we think Brunson is a guy that is going to bring them to a second-round playoff series? He's not.

00:24:13

I think the Thunder are going to destroy them. I mean, Kevin Durant is playing basketball in New York City and you're just like talking about, can we get Brunson? I think the Thunder are going to destroy them. The Knicks are acting like he's KD. I'm going to repeat, Jalen Brunson.

00:24:28

I heard a lot of voices in there, one in particular that had some bad takes.

00:24:33

Are you thinking the same as I am? I am.

00:24:35

And I'm thinking of the guy—

00:24:35

That's on the count of 3, let's say it. 1, 2, 3. Nick Wright.

00:24:39

Yep. Guy had some bad takes on Brunson and we got to listen to him now about Giannis not being able to go to the Heat?

00:24:44

Good timing, Dad. He's very close to getting banned, Dan.

00:24:47

Closer than he was last time.

00:24:49

That is, in terms of voices and resume, a who's who of everyone got that shit really wrong.

00:24:57

Yeah.

00:24:58

Like, that's— that is nuts. Given the result, given what you just saw happening in the NBA, my guess is that you can't do that to any player who's ever won a championship in free agency. My guess is that we will not be able to find a library of sound that is quite that damning in any sport from that. That's just a who's who of voices you recognize that just got it all spectacularly wrong. Everybody there was saying that Brunson could only be what we've already seen him be, which is no better than the second round.

00:25:35

One voice I didn't hear there who was spectacularly wrong. I didn't hear Gary Washburn's voice because his heart was blessed.

00:25:43

You're welcome.

00:25:44

This is a heart What do you mean, "because his heart was blessed"? His heart was blessed after that. That's not because his heart was blessed. You were just trying to make a—

00:25:53

You don't know that.

00:25:54

You were just trying to make a "heart is blessed" joke when you heard Gary Washburn, and it didn't have anything behind it.

00:25:59

You don't know when that montage was made.

00:26:00

That's right.

00:26:01

I do know when it was made!

00:26:04

You saying Roy can't get it done that quick?

00:26:07

You blessed the heart of Gary Washburn again 'cause you just wanted to go back to that joke, even though you didn't have anything behind that joke.

00:26:14

It's a good joke.

00:26:14

It was a good joke the first 9 times that we made it. You went back to it and you could have made it well, but you did not. Kind of like Jeremy did that toast at the end of the first hour.

00:26:25

Ah, come on, everybody loves some sleep. Dan, I know you love sleep.

00:26:30

You toasted sleep on the floor.

00:26:32

A good night's sleep? Gotta get my 12 hours.

00:26:34

Wemby goes to bed at 9.

00:26:36

We have to do the product placement better than that.

00:26:39

Nah, that was a real thing I would have said whether there was a toast or not. Shout out to Cuervo.

00:26:43

We have to do— you have to get better at the product placement there. You toasted sleep well beyond the clock's expiration on our hour because you just forced in a read and then you gave it a broadcaster's cheesy schmarm on it. A toast.

00:27:02

It's just how I talk.

00:27:03

No, that's not—

00:27:04

So heavy-handed. No, that's not— I am heavy-handed.

00:27:07

Jeremy, it's not how you talk. It's how you talk on television.

00:27:10

Yeah.

00:27:10

What are you talking about, Dan?

00:27:12

I never overact!

00:27:14

All right, enough.

00:27:15

It's not how you talk, and, uh—

00:27:18

I get paid the medium bucks to do that, all right?

00:27:21

Let's hear you, Marlins fans! Let's do it!

00:27:23

All right, now we're too close to the bone.

00:27:27

They're going, "Babies in the air!" That was authentic.

00:27:31

Ein perfekter Frühlingstag. Sonne. Park. Picnic.

00:27:36

Und so viele Pollen.

00:27:39

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00:27:59

Dan lebatard! No one else here is willing to do a Trump or a Biden.

00:28:03

That's not true, Dan.

00:28:05

Okay, Tony, you can catch up.

00:28:07

Dan of a thousand impersonations. That's not bad, man.

00:28:11

Finally! That's terrible!

00:28:12

Pretty good! Stugatz!

00:28:16

Yours is terrible.

00:28:17

You just gotta get a little redder.

00:28:19

A little pinker.

00:28:20

You're right there, man.

00:28:22

Yours is not. You're biting me.

00:28:24

What do you mean?

00:28:25

Oh, his is good, dude.

00:28:26

That's actually not bad.

00:28:27

His is not terrible.

00:28:28

That's not terrible.

00:28:29

We gotta come together.

00:28:30

A little southern twang there.

00:28:32

A little push.

00:28:32

A little George Bush in that one. This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz. Greg, I want to admonish you for what I believe to be bad parenting. Your son, Christopher Cody, while allegedly, uh, an adult, but actually one of my boyfriends, uh, is somebody who doesn't know how to behave in some very, uh, easy circumstances, and I don't know if I don't know if Chris Cody has gotten more criticized for any behavior— I don't know if you have a top 5 list of behaviors that you've been criticized for around here— but him leaving the shopping cart wherever it is that he wants at the grocery store without taking it back has gotten him very criticized. Do you do that?

00:29:21

Um, I try not to.

00:29:23

Okay, so you do do that. No no!

00:29:26

You can either do it or you don't do it. That's not true.

00:29:30

He could be in the middle.

00:29:31

You can't be in the middle on this.

00:29:33

You can be sometimes.

00:29:35

If I park next to the corral and it's convenient for me to bring it back, Jack, I'mma bring it back. If I park, you know, 100 yards away from the corral, I'm sorry, I'm not committing a felony here. These people who act like it's the ultimate sign of every bit of disrespect to leave your shopping cart, why do you think they hire corral rangers to go around the parking lot and bring in the carts?— it's the smallest thing to be worried about. It's less than a misdemeanor.

00:30:06

Greg, imagine if you're— it's raining, you barely make it out, it's raining, you barely make it out, you finally get to the car, and what, you're gonna go over and you're gonna put it all the way back? That's right.

00:30:17

It's crazy. That's right.

00:30:18

I'm telling you—

00:30:18

Use your common sense.

00:30:19

Dad, I'm telling you, the internet will not let you live this down. I said this like 6 years ago, and once a week I still get a tweet about it.

00:30:26

I'm gonna float out a theory. I'm not saying that I agree with this. I'm floating out a theory. I'm taking the temperature of the room, okay? Is it possible that the guy or girl who has to go get the carts, you know, that they actually like when the carts aren't all in the same spot? Why? Because it takes more time.

00:30:48

Yes.

00:30:48

And that's closer to getting off.

00:30:50

Bingo. 100%.

00:30:53

Okay, useful rationalization for bad behavior, uh, and I—

00:30:57

It doesn't make it right.

00:30:58

It doesn't make it right, but I haven't even actually gotten to my point because I think this is the second most egregious of your son's offenses, and I want to see if he learned this from you because, uh, you, you tell me which is the worst offense. Uh, I'm going to ask this of the audience and I'm going to ask this of Zazz because I can't believe that your son does something that I believe is worse than the behavior that I think he's been most criticized for by our audience. Your son puts back grocery store items that he takes off of the shelf wherever he is in the store if he no longer wants them.

00:31:37

He puts it wherever?

00:31:38

That's right. Now, I have one caveat to this. I have one caveat to this. If it can rot, if it can, like, if it will get ruined by staying out. Milk, eggs, something refrigerated, that I'm not a monster. But if I have like a can of creamed corn and I get the wife from my— a text from my wife, "Hey, we got the creamed corn, you don't need it?" That thing's going back on whatever aisle I'm at.

00:31:58

Good point.

00:31:59

Just if it—

00:32:00

Good point.

00:32:00

If it can't be ruined—

00:32:01

Wait a minute.

00:32:02

If it can't be ruined, it can go anywhere. Wherever I'm at in the store, it's going from the cart right to the nearest shelf.

00:32:07

So you're putting a can of creamed corn next to the toilet paper and paper towels.

00:32:13

Zagac.

00:32:14

Yeah, that ain't right. That's not right. I defended you on the shopping cart.

00:32:21

What's better here? Because there's a couple options here. There's going all the way back to where you got it from, which is just a ridiculous thing to expect. It's 3 aisles.

00:32:28

Impossible. It's 3 aisles.

00:32:30

The other move is you go to the checkout lane and you just kind of like say, I don't—

00:32:33

That's acceptable.

00:32:34

I just don't want this.

00:32:35

Acceptable. And then they take it.

00:32:36

That is acceptable. Acceptable. That's the way to handle that.

00:32:38

Yeah, but for me, it's just, I like to have a cart that I know I'm getting everything in it. I don't want to have this cream corn, this can of cream corn in my cart for the next 7 aisles if I'm not actually going to get it.

00:32:49

Okay, having said that, I used to be friends with a store manager, a grocery store manager.

00:32:54

What happened to the friendship?

00:32:55

They moved to the mountains in North Carolina.

00:32:59

Thank you for that follow-up question.

00:33:00

Anyway, it's a valid question. I could give you his name if you wanted, but yeah.

00:33:03

Yeah, well, you usually do. And so whatever happened to your friendship with blank?

00:33:08

They moved to the hills of North Carolina, but I want to tell you this because it's informational based on what he said. As supermarkets hire people whose job it is to go collect stray shopping carts, supermarkets also assign someone every day with a shopping cart to go up and down every aisle and look for that corn in next to the paper towels. So creating work. Yes, so there is somebody assigned to remedy a situation created by Chris Cuomo.

00:33:38

Imagine how boring that person's job would be without me.

00:33:40

I know, but you see it all the time. They find it fulfilling.

00:33:43

Great, great rationalizations, all of those. Like, imagine how bored they would be. Also, you know what you can do? You could just make it, I'm not actually doing anything wrong. I'm leaving treasures all over the grocery store for—

00:33:56

That's how I look at it.

00:33:57

Now you got the right idea.

00:33:58

For a person to find fulfillment in their work that they did —previous—

00:34:01

Here's how you got it. You're creating a job for people.

00:34:04

What's this corn doing over by the greeting card aisle?

00:34:06

So it's job creation. Just, I wanna understand what you think you're doing that's not immorality. You think you are creating jobs, so you're good for capitalism. You are creating fulfillment and happiness for someone who might be in an unhappy job, and you're just burying treasures all over the grocery store.

00:34:22

Imagine that person that's doing that classic greeting card peruse where you're just standing about 3 feet back from it and you're just looking at all the cards Which one am I gonna get? Mother's Day, birthday, and all of a sudden you're scanning your eyes and you see a can of creamed corn.

00:34:35

Ha! Come on!

00:34:36

How'd you fit it in there?

00:34:37

That's good, clean fun.

00:34:38

The slots are small.

00:34:39

They are.

00:34:39

How'd you fit the creamed corn in there?

00:34:40

It's a tough fit.

00:34:40

I'm telling you, I think the person who collects the carts, if they see that there's a cart on the other side of the road, I think they're excited. I'll go, I'll go get it.

00:34:50

I'm gonna take 10. I got this one.

00:34:51

Yeah. You pop in your AirPod, you listen to a little bit of music.

00:34:55

Right.

00:34:55

You take some, I'll go get that across the street. Oh, wah, Chris Cody didn't put it in the special laser cart. I'm excited about this. This is an adventure.

00:35:05

Yes, and I'm gonna take it one step further.

00:35:07

Do it, Dad.

00:35:08

I'm gonna leave a can of creamed corn in the shopping cart that I leave in the parking lot. That ain't right.

00:35:14

He got his catchphrase wrong. That ain't right is not one of his catchphrases. I have a number of different poll questions.

00:35:22

It isn't. Who said that?

00:35:24

@LeBittardShow. Would you ever leave a can of creamed corn where the Mother's Day cards are? That's first, okay? Because that is aggressive. What you've just said, like, I imagine you taking a can and putting it with other cans that aren't where that can is. That's more confusing. No, but what you're doing now is, is the— if you're putting it over near the cards, if you're not— like, you might as well put it in the bathroom. Like, just throw it on the floor. I mean, I don't— if you're putting it near the cards, you keep getting more But I want to do a couple of these as poll questions, okay? @LevittardShow, worse offense, leaving your shopping cart wherever you want or leaving the can of creamed corn wherever you want in the grocery store?

00:36:13

I had a couple other doozies on my Mount Rushmore of bad things if you wanted them. Okay, so it's not picking up my dog poop. I've said that I've—

00:36:20

That ain't right.

00:36:21

Done that in the past. And I've also made the argument for, you know, there's no law that I have to go fast in the left lane. Like, it's just like an unwritten rule.

00:36:30

Mm, I don't know that that's true.

00:36:31

That ain't right.

00:36:32

I mean, it's literally called the express lane.

00:36:34

I'm talking about on the highway without an express lane, that left lane.

00:36:37

Well, but I don't think it is a law. You can't go 45 miles an hour, right? Like, you can't, you gotta go at least 55.

00:36:44

Yeah, there are minimums.

00:36:45

There's a minimum in all the lanes though. My point is that it's an unwritten rule, the left lane thing. I don't, see, this is one of those things where I've made the argument for it. I go fast in the left lane. But I just— I'm not gonna get mad at somebody if they're going— I'll just go around them. Like, it's unwritten rule, it's not an actual rule, left lane is for slow.

00:37:00

Oh, I totally disagree. If somebody's going slow in the fast lane, that's really annoying to me.

00:37:06

You try and run them off the road!

00:37:08

Well, not quite to that point, but I'll go past them and give them one of these.

00:37:12

But I think Chris is right. I think this is an unwritten rule. I don't think it's actually law. I think it's a courtesy. Put it on the poll as well, and I still have to get to the other poll question. @LebatardShow. Going faster in the express lane—

00:37:27

Left lane, left lane.

00:37:28

In the left lane, law or unwritten rule? Because I think that's an unwritten rule. I don't think that's a law. And also put on the poll @LebatardShow, does the shopping cart gatherer, when he sees a cart across the street, think of it as an exciting adventure? Because this is what Zazz is claiming, that this person in their job doesn't necessarily get a whole lot of fulfillment from their work, but the ability to go make themself useful by finding a stray cart makes them more fulfilled in their employment.

00:38:04

I'll tell you what, I think the next time I go to the supermarket, I'm gonna do that guy a favor. I'm gonna put the cart in my SUV's trunk, all right, after I undo the groceries, and then when I leave the shopping plaza, and I'm on the road, I'm just gonna push the cart out of my car.

00:38:22

That's a good idea by you. Yeah, really.

00:38:25

Visual.

00:38:25

It's a great idea.

00:38:26

There's not a lot of things tougher to lift by yourself than a shopping cart.

00:38:30

Anybody guess how much a shopping cart costs? Because I happen to know.

00:38:33

I thought you were gonna say "way." How do you happen to know?

00:38:35

Get the "happen to know" music. How do you happen to know this? And Jeremy, have you found for me whether this is a law or an unwritten rule?

00:38:41

I have. Officer Roy of the Tampa Police Department explained on Good Day Tampa Bay that there's no speeding one way or another that changes there, but the left lane is indeed legally a passing lane.

00:38:55

Yeah.

00:38:55

So if you're driving a certain speed limit and you see a car approaching faster than you, you have to move over to the right lane.

00:39:03

Do you think anyone's ever been pulled over for that? Do you think that that's an enforcement law?

00:39:06

They should do it with the semi-trucks. If you're a semi-truck driver and you're driving on the turnpike with just the two lanes and you're driving just as fast as the semi-truck that's going in the right lane, I—

00:39:15

You're doing the thing again, Jeremy!

00:39:17

It's ridiculous! A toast to that, sir! We all heard it. You need to call it out every time it happens. We need to start shock therapying him. We do. Like, because yes, when he's performing and knows he's performing— Good day to you, sir! Good day, Tampa Bay. Is that a good name?

00:39:33

Great name.

00:39:34

That's a great name. Come on.

00:39:36

Is good day Tampa Bay a good name?

00:39:38

Here's another thing. Here's another thing. It is not against the law not to return your shopping cart to the corral. If a cop sees you doing that, he's not giving you a ticket because it's not against the law.

00:39:50

No one said that was against the law.

00:39:51

It's selfish and immoral, but it's not technically against the law.

00:39:55

Immoral, really. Immoral.

00:39:56

My real take on this years ago was I think there's a lot of people that do it and then do what you're doing of like, I'm going to judge you. That was really my take, is that I don't think it's this like crime to do it. I'm like my dad. If it's convenient, I'll put it back. Back, but I'm not gonna— if it's like crazy, if some parking lots just don't have a corral.

00:40:14

I'm telling you, I might wait a couple of blocks as I leave the plaza and then push the cart.

00:40:20

I need to talk more about this, but just to make some clarifications, okay? Because yesterday Zazz called me on something I wasn't prepared for when he said, what's the difference between Jaylen Brown being hurt and being insulted? And what I'm thinking to myself is that you can be hurt without being insulted, but you're unlikely to be without being hurt. That was the distinction that I'm making. When Greg Cody says to me, "Immoral." Immoral? I said it was selfish and immoral. You say no to immoral, but you say yes to selfish. Isn't selfish an immorality? Like, isn't it immoral to be selfish?

00:40:56

There are so many things higher on the immorality list than what you're talking about.

00:41:02

Agreed, there are a lot of things higher on the selfish list, but you'd agree it's selfish. You didn't object to selfish, right?

00:41:07

Yeah, I don't think— it's mildly selfish. It is the lowest form of selfish behavior.

00:41:14

Is it because you in fact are selfish but don't want to believe that you're immoral?

00:41:18

Uh, I'm not immoral. That is why though.

00:41:21

Zazz got you though. That is why. You taught him this! You taught him this!

00:41:27

I didn't teach— what do you think I'm holding? I'm giving a seminar on shopping cart behavior? Yes. What do you mean I taught him that?

00:41:33

No, he watched you do it!

00:41:35

He's a grown man! He's a grown-ass man doing his own thing! He watched you do it!

00:41:37

He didn't need you! He learned, he learned by just watching.

00:41:40

The others, they all learn from me.

Episode description

"God bless his heart."

How do we determine who is actually credible when it comes to breaking news? Does it change if it's about news vs. analysis? Plus, Chris Cote has revealed more of his despicable behavior, this time from INSIDE the grocery store.
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