Transcript of Previewing The Ticker Tape Parade | Hour 3 (feat. Jessica Smetana) New

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This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

For the audio audience, I don't know if you know what Haaland looks like from Norway who scored 2 goals. He's been great for a long time and he's also giant. He's just, he's bigger than everybody else on the pitch. And this look of his is terrifying. The visual of this, if I told you this was popping out of an alien right now and coming to attack you because it wasn't of this world, you would say that's terrifying, right? When it's bigger than everyone else who's out there.

Yeah. Plus the little bow in the back of his hairstyle is also pretty interesting to look at.

He looks a little bit like Hans Gruber's brother in Die Hard.

That guy's so good though. What a day yesterday was. I'm just thinking back to it. Mbappé, him, Messi, all of them balling out with multiple goals. —on the same day.

Yeah, it was great. And Haaland, he's 25 years old. People think of him as older because he's been a star for a long time. This is his first World Cup, so it's like an international introduction for him in a way.

It really is impressive, though, to me, to watch a soccer player be bigger than everyone else, right? So when you got corner kicks with that team, you're just terrified that he's going to head it in because he's just taller than everyone else. I told you guys that Chad Ochocinco went and tried to play one time with either Brazil or Real Madrid or something, and he was very fast, but he couldn't get anywhere near the ball. So you can't, you can't just throw Shaq out there because he's bigger than everybody. But this guy—

Yeah, but I also saw Tyreek Hill dice up, uh, I don't know if it was Real Madrid or Barcelona or somebody. He— they were running routes and it was Tyreek Hill versus the other guy and they're like, oh, we can keep up with him. And then he gave him a post inside and then went corner and that was that.

When, when you see Haaland in the, in the box and Norway's taking a corner kick, that's when you realize how physical the game of soccer is, because you see defenders, 4 or 5 defenders trying to elbow and literally push him away from a chance to get a header on the ball because he's so tall and gifted.

He looks like that Wembley microphone sounded.

That does sound like the sound that would come out of that human being if it was emerging from something to attack you. Jessica is there, and I wanted to save a topic. I've saved the topic for 24 hours because she's got more expertise here than we do. And I do on Brendan Jessica Sorsby. She's been following this for a while. And the legal maneuvering on this, Jessica, I feel like the conference and your mark and all of these people got together and it wasn't public pressure that did this. It was the power of all of these people who want to protect the quote unquote integrity of the game. When I don't think that game has a lot of integrity. I don't— the business of it doesn't have a lot of integrity. But now Sorsby cannot play for Texas Tech. Walk us through what happened here and how there were midnight legal proceedings that end up making it that last week they are telling us that Brendan Swarbsbee's injunction and everything else is going to be handled in February after the college football season, nonsensically. And then 2 days later, there's so much legal maneuvering that never mind, he's out of the league, gets to keep his NIL money even though he's not going to play for Texas Tech.

Yeah, so I think that there was a little bit of an element of public pressure here that led to ultimately what happened through the courts, Dan, where I'm not sure if any of the events of this Monday happened without so much backlash from fans and from fans of other Big Ten or Big 12 schools, from fans of Big Ten teams, from fans of Georgia and like the outcry and the backlash that happened immediately after the injunction. So after the judge ruled that Sorsby was eligible to play and would face a 2-game suspension. This is what happened, I believe, 10 days ago on June 8th. There was a lot of back and forth from the conference and from other schools and from other people who were pissed that this was going to happen, basically. And amidst all of this, the attorney general for Texas, Ken Paxton, who's running for Senate this upcoming fall, wrote a letter to Brett Yormark and to the Big 12 saying that if you sanction Texas Tech, there is going to be possible liability and we will see you in court basically if you try to do this. And I guess that that is ultimately what opened the door for the Big 12 to file a clarification, like a legal complaint late Sunday night, early Monday morning, asking for a federal court basically to clarify if they had the right to discipline Brendan Soaresby under the conference rules.

So yes, like parts of this did play out in court ultimately, but I'm not sure if any of the back and forth between the different attorneys generals for different states that are part of the Big 12 happens without people being very vocally pissed off about all of this.

Did anyone see this coming? Like the thing that happened Sunday night where all of a sudden Monday morning he's in the NFL. Did anyone have that happening?

No, because last week it seemed like there was a little bit of a stalemate where was the Big 12 actually going to try to sanction Texas Tech? Did they have the legal grounds to do that? Were, like we talked last week, I mentioned that there were conference bylaws that might come into play and would Texas Tech be subjected to conference bylaws that they agreed on or would they try to say, well, we're just following the rules, a judge said he was eligible to play. So no, I think last week it seemed like he was gonna play, Dan. And it wasn't until this Big 12 filing from their big fancy, big law firm on Sunday night where it seemed like, okay, now it, looks like there could be follow-up court dates between now and the supplemental draft deadline. And it's probably in his best interest just to declare for the supplemental draft before that deadline goes by. And ultimately that's what happened. And it's just sort of, to me, still a little unclear if that was because of the legal pressure or Cody Campbell basically was like, we think we'll win this case, or maybe we don't think we'll, but whatever, but you should go.

Or Brendan Swarbsby was like, I've had enough, I think I should go. I think it's kind of up in the air. Seems like the legal pressure did play a big part in it though.

I gotta tell you, it's ridiculous that he will never play a game for Texas Tech. He's the one who did the wrong things. He's leaving and going to the NFL Supplemental Draft. Keep the money. Like, why does he get to keep any money? It doesn't make any sense at all, guys. Like, the idea that he gets to keep what the NIL is right there— Why does he get to keep any money?

It's crazy to me.

The fact that he gets to keep that money and then move forward toward the NFL Draft is just absolutely nuts. Like—

It's a play on for me.

How is it a play on?

It's a play on Texas Tech has more money than anybody else. They're throwing money at every single sport.

Just because they could throw the money around doesn't mean he should just get to keep it.

I'm sure that there was an under-the-table deal. They knew what was going on, said hey look, just come and make it happen over here. If we can get you past the, the, the law part, like we can go play and you can keep the money.

Jess, it's ridiculous, right?

It's not my money. I don't— Frankly care. Cody Campbell has billions of dollars. If he wants to pay Brandon Sorsby to not play football this year, like, I truly do not care. Obviously, like, it seems unjust because he did something that he should not have been able to do. But I don't really honestly care about the money. That is like the least of my concerns in all of this.

I keep— I'm sorry, Greg, go ahead.

No, Jess, do you think it's a given that an NFL team is going to bid a high draft pick to get this kid? That's the problem. Because I don't think it is. I think there's a very good chance he will not be drafted at all in the supplemental. What do you think?

I've heard both opinions from people that I've talked to, Greg. I've heard everything from if teams think he's good enough, they will bid on him and they will face whatever possible discipline comes after from the NFL. And I've also heard no one wants to touch this because it's gambling. It's, you know, the thing that no one— people will— NFL teams, as we've seen in the past, will deal with all sorts of disciplinary issues when it comes to a lot of things. But gambling is one thing they don't want to. I would also say, guys, like, we've— talked about the NBA playoffs all this past month and the month before, and we haven't really talked about the much worse gambling scandal that the NBA was pretty easily able to sweep under the rug and just get people really excited for their playoff games for. So I feel like the NFL— this is not even at close to the magnitude of that scandal. I feel like the NFL, if they need to just kind of sweep it under the rug and say, here's a suspension or whatever, I think that they would probably be able to get away with that.

I'm totally with you, Greg. Now, granted, the NFL— so college athletics, like they've suspended him 2 games, and the NFL can uphold that. Like, they could say, okay, you don't get— just get the skirt— like, this happened with Terrell Pryor, I believe, right? Where, okay, you can't just avoid the suspension. We're gonna— we're gonna uphold what the NCAA was gonna suspend you. So he's likely gonna be suspended in the NFL if he is selected. But I'm with you, Greg. Like, I, I, I've heard both sides too, Jess. I don't know that there's gonna be a team that puts in a bid. Like, Maybe it's a low pick that they wind up bidding.

Well, but let me, let me just cut through some of this. One of the things about this story that was most amazing to me is that this kind of thing was being considered for a quarterback that while a good prospect, Jess, he's a good prospect, we weren't sure how good he was going to be in college. They were going to great lengths. Like, I'm not, I'm not saying he's bad. He's an above-average quarterback. But to me, this was more about the importance of the position than the greatness of the player.

I think there's a reason that Texas Tech was willing to make him the highest-paid quarterback in the transfer portal this year. I think they thought that he was genuinely a difference maker and he was worth what was reported to be $5 million in NIL. So I do think that there is a belief that he was worth all of this. And if he had a good season this year, he would play himself into the first round of the NFL draft next year.

The World Cup is upon us. And I am curious—

Hold on, Dan, before you ask this question, I got to go get a drink of water. It's been a long segment. I need a break here. It's just a little hot in here. And I just— mid-segment here, can I just go get some water? Good. All right.

Is that a hydration—

We have to cut to commercial.

I see what he did.

Break joke?

Is that a—

I see what he did.

Water brought to you by H2O from the sky.

I don't understand. People are freaking out about this hydration break.

Jessica, do you have any thoughts here?

Because it's a travesty. Are you a soccer fan, Zazz?

Yeah, who cares? Who cares that they're taking a 90-second break?

Who cares?

Yeah, who cares?

They're literally cutting to commercial in the middle of the half. Like, this is not how soccer is supposed to go, Zazz. It's one thing if you're doing a hydration break on the field because it is genuinely hot. Some of these games are doing it when they don't need to take one, when they're like in a dome. That is abhorrent. But it's another thing to completely cut away from the action and go to commercial and run ads like that to me. And the fact that the hydration breaks themselves are sponsored, it just feels like a blatant cash grab.

Okay, so, all right, so hold on a second.

The game of soccer is not meant to be split into quarters. It is a game of halves.

All right, so hold on a second. All right. You're telling me I'm supposed to get angry about cutting to commercial like every other sport that I watch. Like, it's not something I'm gonna— it's not a hill I'm willing to die on, you know? And we're not missing any game action. They're taking a break. They're doing their hydration. They're coming back. They're adding stoppage time. I'm sorry. It's just something for people to get angry about. Let them get a sip of water. Who cares?

First it's quarters, and then we're gonna split it into eighths. I mean, just to be okay with this, This is— I— you're the first person I've ever talked to who's like, yeah, I don't mind extra commercial breaks. I don't mind.

Maybe I got to go to the bathroom.

That's crazy. Go lick a boot.

All right. We can continue.

How can we get our sponsored programming in if not for that? I need to see what the sponsors want to sell me. I have to see it.

At least stop the clock.

It's called every other World Cup in history. They run ads during halftime and before and after the game, not during the half.

But Jess—

Not during a made-up break.

Jess, I understand you're saying like every other World Cup in history, Can we both agree it's hotter outside than it's been in past history?

You know, they're only doing that—

And hotter and hotter.

You know, they're only doing that because of Miami, right? They're only doing this because they have to do it in Miami. And they're like, we can't just do it in Miami and not do it everywhere else.

That's right.

It's ridiculous.

Really?

No, it's ridiculous. It was really, really nice out yesterday during the game that was at MetLife Stadium, or I'm sorry, New York, New Jersey. Someone's going to sniper me for saying MetLife Stadium. I don't— I don't know what's going to happen to me now.

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Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

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Greg, how's your birthday going so far?

Hey, Bennett, it's going fantastic. My wife and I are staying home tonight. We're watching the debate on TV. We're gonna do something special for dinner.

Baby, baby.

It's a nice day for me so far.

Stugatz.

That sounds like not a super nice night. The debate? Old people love that shit.

Yeah.

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Old people do love that shit. And I'm old now. I can't deny it anymore.

Now, this is the Don Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

Soccer is a game, Zazz, that builds. It builds and it builds and it builds. And you— it's a game that is not— it's not basketball. It's not like every other sport where there's breaks and there's timeouts and there's pauses. It is a game that builds over the span of 45 minutes.

I don't need soccer explained to me. I understand how soccer works, all right?

I feel like you do.

We're not missing anything. They're not stopping. They're not taking the water break in the middle of a counter. Okay. Where all of a sudden, oh yeah, you got a 3-on-1 here. No, no, no. Let's go get a sip of water and then continue. It's like when the ball goes out of bounds or it's a goal kick. It's such a nothing.

It's— Then take your sip of water and don't cut to commercial. Like, that's what I'm saying. Just keep it within the play of the game because it is a legitimate break if you're watching it on TV. And soccer, I played soccer since I was 4 years old. All right. I have soccer bona fides from every level of soccer up until the professional level of soccer. You play halves. You don't take quarters breaks in the middle of a half.

Actually, that's not true down here. I coached my son in rec league. We had 4 quarters.

Wow.

Jess, we had 4 quarters. Wow. I coach.

Bonafide.

I coach.

This further proves how fake of a place Miami is. It's not a real place. Nothing that happens in Miami—

First off, this is not Miami. He's talking about Cooper City or somewhere up there.

He's not talking about Miami.

Leave Miami out of this. That's right.

You're right. Let me direct this straight towards Fort Lauderdale, wherever you are.

I don't know. Cooper City. I run Cooper City.

Did you just soccer-splain to Zazz?

Well, he tried to soccer-splain back.

What? You're trying to explain soccer to me.

You're trying to defend commercials during World Cup games, which is just a frankly abhorrent— like, I just don't understand it. I'm dismissing it. I'm not defending. I'm not defending. What? Would I rather commercials?

I'm not defending.

Never heard it.

She can't la la la you.

She cannot la la la you, Zazie. I will admit.

Oh my goodness.

I will admit. When someone does that, it's tough to win the argument. This all just feels a bit performative, guys. It feels over the top, and that is worth a toast.

Hey, just terrible. Get out of here. Just get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Please go.

Minor penalty. 2 minutes.

Go take a hydrating break.

Let me take a break. Okay, so you know what, Jess? Let's— Jess, something that you and I can be on the same page. Together here. You ready? This we will agree on. Did you see this? Okay, and I'm not gonna call it Gillette Stadium, it's, uh, I guess it's Boston Stadium?

Foxborough Stadium?

Okay, Foxborough Stadium. At Foxborough Stadium, the video, you know, the people who are watching on video can see now, this is a picture of one of the seats in Foxborough Stadium where you see covered up on the seat, you have the number 3, 'cause that's the seat number in the row, —and underneath it is the logo of Gillette Stadium, and covered up with like blue tape is presumably where it says Gillette Stadium. Mm-hmm. Because you can't have any type of advertising that's not approved by FIFA. So Jess, am I to believe that someone, or maybe a team of someones, had to go to all 64,000 seats in the building and take blue tape and cover up the word Gillette on every single seat.

First of all, you have said the G word way too much. There is a red dot on you right now. Please take it back. Do not say the name of that stadium. It is not supposed to be said in this context. And yes, I think that is what you can assume. That's crazy. From that photo, they covered up all the G words in the stadium.

I like to think that they handed out little stickers to every person watching the game, the first game, and they're like, now please, When you get to your seat, put the sticker behind and cover it.

This is like the cart boy. Now you're taking jobs away from guys who are going to go there for 64,000 times and put them there. So now those guys are out of a job, Cody.

Cart person, am I right, Jess?

Let's get into this with Jess because we've been talking about it all show. The idea that Chris Cody— which is the worst crime here, or immorality, or selfish behavior? Leaving the cart wherever Chris Cody wishes to leave it outside of a grocery store, Or if he gets a can and is 9 rows away, he will not go back and put the can where it was. He'll just put it on top of the Mother's Day cards.

Yeah. The biggest crime is Zazz defending going to commercial during World Cup soccer matches. That's the biggest crime.

Jess seems like someone— she's like me.

Secondary, whatever Chris Cody does.

Jess, you're like me here. And you're in the shopping, you're in the grocery store. You realize you don't need this item, you just put that item anywhere. Come on, admit it.

Uh, it depends how big the grocery store is, but usually I'm very intentional about how I shop, Chris Cody.

Is that—

I'm not just like throwing shit in my cart. If I can't carry home in one bag, it's not coming home with me. I live in an apartment.

Is the hydration situation strictly money grab? I've heard Witty talk about how it is a momentum killer and there are issues that soccer teams have with what it does to goal scoring. Is it strictly money grab?

If they weren't going to commercial every time, then I think you could say no, they're probably looking out for the team's welfare. On Telemundo, they're not cutting to commercial. I've watched a few games on there. Don't speak any Spanish, but I am trying to learn. They just stay on the field. They don't cut to a commercial break.

I think I did see—

I would have to go with yes, I assume.

I think I did see that Fox is making an estimated $250 million from hydration breaks.

FIFA would tell you, FIFA will tell you —it's safety.

It's because of the heat and it's safety, but they're just taking that opportunity. They're like, hey, if we're gonna be safe here, let's make some money.

It's a health issue. My objective—

Is it a health issue or a money issue?

I think it's both. I think it's a health issue.

Then why didn't you just say it's just a health issue?

I think it's good they do it. I do. I'm for the hydration breaks. What I'm not for is letting the clock continue to run so that the extra time after 90 minutes is longer. It's like 8 minutes now. It's ridiculous.

That's because of the hydration breaks.

I know. Stop the clock.

It's like, stop the clock, in other words. Stop the clock for the hydration break.

Now you're just being ridiculous. It's soccer. That's never gonna happen.

Jessica.

Thank you, Chris. God.

Bend the rules.

Where are you, Jessica, on Freddy from—

Bendies.

Freddy L.A., Freddy from Germany. Where are you on this?

I like that guy.

You know, last week I said he seemed like someone that would be part of a CIA psyop. Week, I think he's just doing the American grift of tweeting a bunch of stuff at brands so he gets free stuff. Or I don't know if he's like actually tweeting at the brands, but he's tweeting about the brands and now he's getting free stuff. And I don't know, I'm curious if it's been a turnoff for anyone else.

Jump the shark.

Cody, are you watching this and you're like, less cute now because he's got JJ Watts setting him up in a nice hotel room.

It went from adorable to tryhard really quick.

And he's living the American dream. Imagine one of us try to do something and it catches fire like that. You're going to try to ride it till the wheels fall off.

Put it on the poll, please, @LebatardShow. Adorable to what here? Because I want to compare this. Adorable— I want to compare Wemby. Who has gone faster from adorable to tryhard? Uh, Freddie LA or Wemby? Great poll.

Also Jeremy. I don't know who to vote.

That's a great poll. Uh, Jeremy, you didn't start at adorable.

That is a good poll.

Jeremy?

I mean, I thought Jeremy was pretty adorable when he started here, and then you guys put him in a position to not look so adorable over and over and over again. But to me, he started— Here's one.

Who's less Who's less— poll question— who's less of a main character that tries to make themselves a main character, Jeremy or Freddie? And you could throw Wemby in there too.

Jeremy's a pretty good main character on the several other shows that he does.

I'm a fantastic main character!

That's worth a toast. Jessica, where are you on this being the single happiest time of your fiancé's life? And do you believe that Lehman was happier this week than he will be on your wedding day?

Correct. I— Dan, it was such a strange night on Saturday. I was not sure what his reaction would be to the Knicks winning, but it was not what I— what happened, what transpired never was what I pictured. He was virtually catatonic for about an hour when the game went final and didn't really speak or emote or really— just react at all. It was kind of scary.

Thanks for mansplaining catatonic.

So you're welcome. I know that you know what it means, but Tony doesn't know what it means, so I had to, you know. It was kind of eerie, and then we went out to a bar and his parents met up with us and we got a drink and he hugged his dad and then he cried and I felt like I was in the middle of a Wright Thompson story, #FathersAndSons. It was pretty touching. There's probably no way our wedding day will top that. Unless the Knicks win another championship like that night. But it was— it was very special. I'm very excited for the ticker tape parade tomorrow. I'm going to try to get up early and go, but it's going to be a zoo out there.

What were you expecting from him? Like when— when you said you were— because this is something that would be the happiest he's ever been made by sports, correct? In any way, shape, or form.

Yeah.

And so when that happens, you were expecting that to look like what? And how jump up and down happy is he normally as a personality?

Like last year when they won a few playoff games, he jumped in our friend's pool after the game. So like I was expecting like a yeah, or like a woo-hoo, or like, you know, something like that. Like an exclamation, like, ah, we did it. Oh my God. Like maybe he, maybe like a hug or something, but he just sat on the floor and kind of like stared. It was very strange, very zombie-like. So that was kind of what I was expecting. But yeah, instead it was pretty eerie. And unsettling and creepy.

A lot of people are talking about the finals. Uh, we have talked a lot about the finals. Is there anything that you are seeing anywhere in the coverage, because there are so many people talking about this right now, uh, that not enough people are talking about that you think is being missed here when it comes to, uh, the, the spectacle that is New York celebrating this way?

I have seen a lot of consternation from fans about the ticker tape parade, which if you're not a New Yorker, this is a hundreds-year-long tradition in New York to have these big parades and celebrations for whether it's, you know, sports teams or the— when Nelson Mandela got released from prison, there was a ticker tape parade. When Apollo 11 landed on the moon, there was a ticker tape parade. There's been ticker tape parades for a lot of different celebrations in New York City. And there's a lot of consternation that the parade route isn't long enough. And I understand why, because it goes from the very tip of Manhattan up to City Hall, which is not a very far stretch of of Broadway. But I would also say I think it's very cool that the city has these traditions. This is the first time the Knicks have ever had a ticker tape parade. And even—

Jess, I have to stop you.

Yes.

Ticker tape. What is that?

Yeah.

Why don't you just call it a parade?

Yeah. No, so this is a very— thank you for asking, Chris Cody. Ticker tape is these like tiny little ribbons of paper that were used for trading stocks before everything got digitized. And so New Yorkers would have these parades, and it started sort of spontaneously in the 19th century where they'd start throwing the ticker tape. There's the really, yeah, there they are, like really thin like ribbons.

Confetti, okay.

Of paper that, yeah, I guess it's like confetti, but they were actually used to trade stock. Like the stock price would be on the tape, and the machine that it came out of made a ticker sound. It would go like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, like that kind of thing. So people would throw it out of the window of their businesses along Broadway, and so they became known as ticker tape parades.

Excellent.

So it's a very specific thing in the financial district of New York City. And not something that is replicable probably in any other city because of obviously the New York Stock Exchange being downtown. There's a ticker tape machine. So now they obviously don't use ticker tape anymore. I went to a ticker tape parade for the US Women's National Team 7 years ago when they won the World Cup. And instead of ticker tape, they just had, you know, regular confetti and streamers and stuff that people were throwing out the window. And I did read that the city was gonna be distributing confetti to businesses along Broadway to throw out the window tomorrow. So it is a very— very sort of New York-specific type parade. And so when I have seen people complain about it, I hear their complaints because, Dan, like I said, there's going to be a ton of people shoved into a very small, narrow part of Manhattan. But I do think it's important that the city uphold these types of traditions because it makes the city very cool and unique.

I just learned something there. Put on the poll at Levittard Show, did you know what ticker tape was actually? Because while I've heard of ticker tape parades, I've never known any of what it is that she just said.

And is there still ticker tape in the digital age?

Are you saying they're gonna be throwing things from buildings—

Just cell phones flying out the window.

That are still being used when we've gone all digitized here? Like, are you sure? 'Cause visually, that's wonderful to see people throwing from all skyscrapers and buildings, just throwing ticker tape. I just don't think people have ticker tape anymore.

No, I think they're just using, I assume, just shreds of paper. Like in 2019, people were throwing like shredded paper and like shredded documents out the window. So I was able to steal some Social Security numbers and do some light fraud after, but we'll see if I'm able to do that this time.

So it's just a litter parade.

Woo-hoo, let's litter!

Yeah, right.

It's not ticker tape, it's litter.

But Dan, I have to give some credit to the city of New York because Saturday night, I know everyone outside of New York is talking about how debaucherous these crowds were on Saturday, but I woke up Sunday morning expecting to see empty beer cans and bottles and shit all over the street, and I went for a walk all through New York I didn't see a single piece. I mean, and this is for New York we're talking about, like there's garbage in the streets constantly. I didn't see any indication that there had been a huge citywide celebration the night before. They did a really good job of cleaning things up after Saturday.

Jessica, thank you for being on with us. Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, The Echoes with Mike Golick Jr. Thank you. Appreciate the time.

Bye.

Don Lebatard.

Mr. Shirk, if I may say for a second, Miami, they were simulating the snap count the entire game and they were clapping at the line of scrimmage. And the only thing I want to see clapping are them cheeks on Mrs. Met in my face, my shirt. All right, so that's one thing.

Stugatz.

They're a bunch of cheaters, Dan. And you know who should be cheating? Mrs. Met on Mr. Met. And he can watch if he wants.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

Uh, thank you, uh, mustachioed person who has replaced suspiciously, uh, Jeremy. Uh, appreciate all of your good work there.

You're darn tootin' welcome.

Again? That ain't right. That's worth a toast.

You did it better all the times that weren't sponsored than you did it the time it was sponsored. All of your toasts since then have been more natural and funnier than the one that was sponsored in our money grab, our hydration situation, which is of you sponsoring a toast to sleep at the end of the first hour, inexplicably, out of nowhere, and as an added bonus, after the clock had expired, you decided to do a toast to sleep.

I asked permission and consent. That deserves a toast.

Can I talk about how much I love this June? Right now it's June and I'm looking at Get Up and I have Damian Woody breaking down the World Cup.

Happy June.

It's just, just makes me happy.

Who's that next to him?

He's actually a soccer player, but—

Okay. 4 times smaller than Damien Woody.

Really? Looks like an optical illusion.

It really does. It looks like— let's see if we can get an assortment. This makes me laugh every time I see Pablo and David Sampson in a studio together. The camera angles that we have in New York make it so that Pablo looks like he is the size of a parade float next to somebody who looks like the size of Brad.

We're efforting. We're going to find all our examples of this.

We have so many examples. We've got Derrick Henry looking like like so much bigger than Billy Gill. But this right here, what's on our screen, which is going to Damian Woody in a brown suit to talk about the FIFA World Cup Group L, England versus Croatia.

Also when Zazz was sitting in this chair and Tony was standing next to him, that was a funny side by side. See right here we have Derrick Henry and Billy next to each other. That's a classic one.

Put it on the poll @LevittardShow. Do you want to hear from Damian Woody on England versus Croatia? Yes or no?

I think I had a better pull on the game. Me versus Damian Woody. More entertaining on soccer, Dan.

I had the Croatian team plus half a goal. Right before, he's like, does that guy number 10 still play for them? I was like, yes.

Luka Modrić. Place I'd like to go, Croatia.

Do you guys know how bad you sounded during the sponsored DraftKings segment on soccer?

But they don't put Tony's shit on me.

Both of you. No, both of you.

I gave you the Three Lions for the English team. You can't just say 3 lines and say that this is good analysis, okay?

I said take a minus— take Colombia minus a goal and a half. They could win 3-0.

They gave their best effort, and that's worth a toast.

I'm— I like this better now. That should be sponsored by Cuervo every time, because that is worthy of a sponsorship, because it's funny, as opposed to the first time that you did it. Again, I don't understand. Here is Brandon Marshall looking a good deal larger than me in studio.

That's not real. That— see, I want to apologize for this AI slop.

No, no, no.

See, you said yesterday. I was like, don't— I was like, we're not going to be perfect.

I want to be funny. This is funny.

It is funny, but I don't want to use AI slop. I want to respect—

Put up Big Fat Dan.

I want to respect the ethical concerns of the audience, and I want to make our own art. I want to use our own intelligence to make our own art and make a statement in the modern day about we are not gonna—

It's funny every time.

We're not gonna ruin the environment by using some of this, some of these tools that are immoral.

I got bad news on the environment, Dan. We're not the ones gonna propagate the environment here by using Big Fat Dan on air.

Well, in the video team's defense, that already was made, and that's worth a toast.

Where are people toasting? When is the last time any of you toasted? A wedding.

Wedding.

Where else?

Oh.

I was at a birthday party last Friday. We did a toast.

Anytime you're at like a day out with the friends, like the first drink.

Yeah, I toasted like 2 weeks ago. We were out with another couple. We hadn't been out with them in a while. We did toast.

What's the difference between the toast —because that's what we're asking here, right? Cheers. I cheers every single meal I go to.

But a toast is a different thing.

A toast conveys a speech has been given. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, and glasses have been clinked.

So I'm wrong. It's a cheers I do.

Well, yeah, we clink the glasses.

Yeah, you got to clink. Yeah, yeah.

Get it right, Chris. What are you confusing?

You said toast.

But what are you doing? I didn't— I said, when do you toast? Roy said weddings. I said, when else? Everyone else here was stumped. You came in—

Saturday mornings. I love a good—

You came in with a clear clink. You didn't come in with a toast. You came in with a clink. We were talking about toasts and you decided to clink it. A toast always has gratitude in it, correct? A toast always, without exception, a toast is always something that has gratitude in it?

I think gratitude and a short speech. Like, you have to say some words. The toast is not the clinking. The toast is the preamble to the clinking, right? You have to give a paragraph.

You say something nice.

Paragraph, yeah.

Put it on the poll. Is the clinking of the glass glass is the foreplay before the toast. No, it's after the toast. So wait a minute. The clinking of the glasses, put the— let's discuss this for a second.

That's the cheers.

Yeah, that's not— that is never a toast.

Yes, it's absolutely a toast.

If the only words said are, hey, let's get a— hey, cheers here. That's not a toast. That's a cheers.

No.

A toast is, a toast is there's 4 of us here. You know, I just want everyone to know here, I really appreciate all of you. That's right. That's right. You guys are good friends.

You usually say I'm really good friends.

There's gotta be at least a 2 or 3 sentence of something.

Yes! Yes, gratitude would be included. You're thankful for something. You're toasting something that you're happy.

Sometimes I'll toast negatively though, like if a group of us, if we hate one of our other people, like you can just be like, how about, how terrible is Geoff? Alright, we can all agree Geoff's terrible, let's bring it in. Do you do this to me?

Only when you're not here. A toast is always preceded by knife on the glass.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

Don't add a wedding, you're ridiculous.

Not true. What?

You know how stupid I would look if I'm sitting there with people, sitting with 2 or 3 people, and I start clinking my glass.

Chili's?

Look at the crowd though you have.

Plastic cup at Chili's?

Need the attention.

I love Chili's.

That's worth the toast. If you're in a crowd with more than 12 people, you—

Exactly right, Greg.

You clink to get people's attention.

And if it's a loud place, maybe less than 12 people.

One thing I'll never do—

Good chemistry between you.

One thing I'll never do—

I'm talking!

One thing I'll never do, this is very important, I need to say this. One thing I'll never do is cheers table, then drink. It's going cheers right to my mouth. I'm not putting the glass— it's such an unnecessary step. A lot of times people do this with shots. We're doing shots. Hey, let's all do shots. Cheers. I'm not going— like, it's just such an unnecessary step. Why are you going down to the table? Can anyone explain it? No, you can't.

If the toast goes on too long, I'm gonna take a sip of champagne before the toast is done.

No.

I'm not gonna wait till the end.

No.

What do you think of that?

No.

You're not supposed to.

That doesn't surprise me at all.

That ain't right. Is that worse or better than leaving a shopping cart out of the corral. In the Dan Levittard morality scale—

I don't want to compare atrocities.

Morality scale.

I want to ask the audience, I think this is an important distinction. The clinking of the glasses has an implied gratitude in it that without words is a toast. That you're making—

A boring-ass toast.

No, you're crazy.

You're making a toast verbal, but the action, the action of clinking on glasses, now that I've talked this through, if you're clinking on glasses, you are grateful for being with those people at that time. It is not just clinking on glasses with no meaning, no symbolism, no nothing. It's got the gratitude in it. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is the clinking of the glasses a toast And then also add to that, does a toast have to be verbal? Because it has to have gratitude, but I think if you're doing that with your friends at dinner, it's because you're grateful to be having dinner with them. It doesn't even need to be said. The gratitude doesn't need to be said. The reason that you're doing that is because you're grateful for it.

It's true too, because you have drinks with people where you don't cheers, right? But then you have drinks with your friends, you do cheers. There's a distinction there.

So the cheers is the unspoken toast.

But if you're the best man at a wedding and you stand up— Geez, clear your throat. And instead of saying anything, you just go like this, "A toast to Al!" What do you think the groom— how do you think the groom feels about that?

Al is a great choice of a name there. Thank you. You guys do understand though that when you do cheers, cheers, cheers, that's not a verb. That's not an action. It's a toast!