Transcript of The NBA Owes The Miami Heat The No. 1 Pick | Local Hour New

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

All right, let's give it up everybody. We did it. It's Friday. The weekend is here. We did it everybody. We made it through the week. How about that? All right. Which one? Mortal Kombat or Battlecourt? What are we starting with?

I mean, something happened at Mortal Kombat that It defies logic.

So I mentioned yesterday Mortal Kombat. Movies now come out on Thursdays, alright? Movies used to come out on Fridays, movies now come out on— you know, and then it was like, alright, we'll do Thursday at midnight because that's technically Friday, you know? Now they just come out Thursday afternoon. Movies come out Thursday afternoon. And Mortal Kombat 2 came out yesterday. Mike Ryan and his crew have had tickets for this movie for a little while now. You know, I buy tickets in advance for Devil Wears Prada. Mike buys tickets in advance for Mortal Kombat. So you went yesterday, and not only did you go yesterday, but you told us you saw it in 4DX, which is the seats that move around, you know, and I almost fell when I went. I saw the Buzz Lightyear movie in 4DX. You went and saw 4DX Mortal Kombat yesterday.

Yes, we felt every punch, and there were a lot of punches. The movie was really fun. We went with a crew of 6 of us. We had an excellent time down in K-Town. Kendall Village was amazing.

But so the movie was fun.

Yeah, it was fun. And we had the 40X, which I was a little worried about.

Better than the first one?

Yeah, certainly. And so we were having a good time and moving around, you know, you're doing the thing, spilling your drinks and whatnot. And word got to me because I'm at one end. Amin was in our crew. Amin was on the other end. Amin fell asleep.

Oh no.

What do you mean fell asleep? He fell asleep. And that's not great for Mortal Kombat 2, I guess. He wasn't like that big of a fan, but it was incredible because I don't know how he fell asleep in these chairs because they're moving constantly.

Yeah, you're just flopping around.

No, you're flopping like—

Like a fish.

It makes everybody feel self-conscious about their belly because like you're moving around.

Everybody had on underpants though, right?

Best I could tell, but there was a lot of flopping around.

Mortal Kombat, 90% audience score.

It was a crowd pleaser, What a mean fell asleep.

So, couple things. Number one, uh, this has been going on for a few years now. I go to the movies, I go to the movies, I'm going to get the best nap of my life. It's not— I'm fighting it, but like, I'll, I'll fall asleep in the middle, I'll wake up, and when I wake up, it's like, that was amazing. It was worth every minute that I missed of the movie is that nap, right?

It's such a dad— like, I used to get mad at my dad when we would go to movies and he'd fall asleep. Dad, I used to get mad he'd fall asleep in the movies.

So there's that, but then there's an added thing I think that Mike is not paying attention to. He says, "Oh, how could you fall asleep in this 4DX movie?" 'Cause it does shake and you can feel kicks in your back and stuff like that.

Who needs that?

Was it like a massage chair effect? That's what I gather, right? That's how you would fall asleep.

No, it actually has a lot to do with the amount of travel I do for my job, and because I'm used to being on seats in shaky environments and just being like, yeah, whatever.

And booze.

Yeah, did alcohol play a role?

No, I mean, I would have fallen asleep anyway, but I'll tell you what, that's what kept me up for a little bit because the sloshing of the liquid in my stomach was so weird. And then at one point I was like, I gotta go to the bathroom. That's one thing I hate doing. I don't mind missing parts of the movie because I took a nap. I abhor missing parts of a movie because I have to go take a leak. I'm like, grow up. But it was like It was too much.

The seats are kind of uncomfortable, and not even kinda, like my butt was hurting by the end, and it's not because it's moving around all that much. It's a pretty stiff seat, very firm, and you're— you are moving a lot. There was a trailer for, uh, Mandalorian.

Do the seats move with the trailers too?

For that one, that one actually felt kind of cool because you're soaring through the air, and we looked at each other like, oh, this is amazing.

What would be the optimal movie then, given what you experienced, that you can summon? Like Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I would say something where there's a lot of flying, because even— it's not always just shaking for battle. Like, if you're taking off, it leans back. If you're going down, it leans forward. And then they have these air jets, so you get the feeling of the wind whooshing past your face. So for The Mandalorian, when there's fire, they burn you. I don't think they didn't have any—

they don't actually burn you.

No, well, no, they didn't even have heat. I thought they'd have a heat lamp for that, but no. But like, for The Mandalorian trailer because there's a lot of like, he's on a jetpack, they're in a spaceship. It was a lot of tilting back and wind whooshing.

And I was like, that's quite enjoyable. Yeah, like, I can get into this. But then Mortal Kombat was a different experience because it's all fight scenes and you're being thrown around in the air as the fighters are being thrown around in the air. And there's very little dialog and exposition in this film.

And also, I would like to say the shake, the physical activity of the chair does not actually match what's happening on the screen. Right. So it's just like someone gets punched. It's not like I feel it like tilt me the way the punch happened. It's just like, shake the hell out of you.

So yeah, something happens just like, all right, we're going to shake the shit out of the person in the chair.

Yeah. But to me it seems impossible to fall asleep. But I guess as he pointed out with the airplanes, he's conditioned to this. He was— I guess it's kind of like a baby in a backseat.

You have to—

the only way the baby falls asleep is if you put it in the car. I don't know how, but he managed to do it. Did you like the movie? Because I think— If you fall asleep during a movie, that's a bad sign.

Mike called you a baby in the backseat.

I was a baby in first class, baby. I was shaking and everyone was like, oh my God, we're going to die. And I'm like, I don't die like this guy's going to die.

You don't get to review the movie though. That's the deal. You get to have no proper opinion.

I liked it. What?

It doesn't matter. I just said it doesn't matter what you thought of the movie. You slept through some portion of it.

Some portion of it. It's not like I slept through the whole thing.

Your review is invalid.

20 minutes I missed.

He didn't lose the plot.

Now, one of the—

I, I gather there was no plot based on what you—

no, no, no, there is a plot. Outworld has won 9 consecutive Mortal Kombats. If Earth loses a 10th one, Outworld gets to invade Earth.

Come on, man. Come on, dude.

I'm sorry.

Now, one of the, one of the fun things about seeing a new movie that's going to have a huge audience like this, you get the real good trailers. You getting great trailers?

Disclosure Day. That one looked cool.

But by the way, right?

No, no, that just happened about 25 minutes ago. They released the files.

Ah, topical humor. Welcome, Levitar Show.

All right, so Mortal Kombat, two thumbs up?

Well, like, at least one, and the other one's shaking a little bit.

I made that up, by the way. Movie reviews, two thumbs up. Yeah, it's mine.

Were you here when Ebert was still alive?

Alright, so I'm gonna wind up seeing Mortal Kombat sometime soon. I'm into it. I like it. Uh, BattleCourt Championship. I told you we started with Mortal Kombat, but that's only because, uh, uh, that happened last night. But today, BattleCourt Championship. Chris, what's, uh, what's on the line? Like, this, this is the big shebang?

Couldn't sleep last night. Woke up around 5:30 this morning.

Should have gone to Mortal Kombat.

Yeah.

I'm excited. We got, we gotta bring George Clooney in. He's here. We're very excited. It's a big day. This, we can make history today.

You know it's a big day when George Clooney's here.

Other Few teams have been able to fight for a chance to go back-to-back, and we get our chance today to be the first team to win back-to-back championships.

Look, there he is.

I don't want to get ahead of ourselves as George Clooney enters the studio, but I pitched something to Mike that if you guys win, you gotta get t-shirts made out that say, "Episode II: Attack of the Clones." Ah. Because you won 2 in a row.

Now correct me if I'm— like, how unlikely has this run been for for the Clones? Because I don't know, it was like a month ago, you were— we were watching the match here, you were motherfucking everybody and threatening to fire people.

Yeah, I mean, we struggled in the middle of the season. I think if you're just looking at our roster, we were expected to be in the playoffs and compete this season. We have like—

so it's been a strong finish.

I think strong, strong start, strong finish. This team is where it's supposed to be. This is no fluke. This is not a team— I was hearing, you know, listening to God Bless Highlight the other day, and they're calling like the most veteran team we have. That's right. You know, you know, George Clooney hosts.

You know who a strong Finnish is? Timo Salami. That, that's a— because he's Finnish and he's strong.

He almost got his name right even. Yeah, that's salami. He's not a spicy encased meat. He's a salami.

Salami.

Salami.

But please, we would like people to come out tonight, support the Cyclones. It's a fun night out.

It's gonna be a great game. Zulaika for the Chargers has had an unbelievable season. This is a 1 seed versus the 2 seed. No team in BattleCourt history has has ever successfully gone back-to-back. It's quite— it's shaping up to be quite the week for me. A history maker.

Episode 2, Attack of the Clones, baby.

So this could be a repeat of what we saw from you guys, what, like 6, 8 months ago? Raising trophies, drinking out of the cup, the whole deal, right?

Oh, it's going to be quite the party if the Cyclones do what no team ever has.

I hate to nitpick, but George Cloney, the weird grooming, or lack thereof, with the unibrow here in the year of the Lord 2020. So you don't pluck that out, huh?

Keep it natural.

Yeah, it is from the Basque region, the sport, so we honor.

Oh, I see.

Dave, have you—

What are you saying? People from the Basque region traditionally maintain a proud unibrow?

That's right.

Dave, have you ever been to a highlight match?

I did as a child, and it was fine, and I enjoyed it, but I'm against it. Because they discriminate against my people. They're anti-leftists. You know you're not allowed to be a lefty and play the high lie? That's outrageous.

It is true that you wear the sesta on the same hand regardless of— I guess I'm guessing.

Why?

I don't know why that's the rule, but that's the rule.

Well, if you listen to God Bless High Lie, you would know that the way that the ball would release should it be on the other side would be far too dangerous and wouldn't even be—

Same crap I had to deal with in Little League. They wouldn't let me play third base. Well, you're left-handed. 'You wouldn't be able to make the pivot appropriately.' And now I'm excluded from Highline.

You got to play first, corner outfield.

Do you ever wonder, you know, if you're a righty, it's impossible to do things with your left hand. Like, you can't do anything.

I can do something like this.

Is a stupid hand, all right, if you're a righty. But in baseball, you wear the mitt on the left hand, of course, because you throw right-handed. And it's like, it's really useful. You're really good with it. Like, you can catch very well.

True.

But I can't do anything else in life with this hand.

I can do something.

How do I catch so good then? How do I wear the mitt on the left hand and be a competent baseball player? I can't do shit with my left hand otherwise.

I mean, just to be clear, you jerk off with your left.

Sometimes, to switch it up.

Chris Cody joined him in that too, by the way. Not each other. They didn't join each other. They weren't there for each other.

You don't know what my wink meant.

Yeah, you're right. I guess.

Yeah.

I mean, given what we've learned this week, everything's on the board.

As he peels back another layer, who knows what we'll find.

Little update.

It got to her.

Oh, no way. Oh, no.

Calm down.

She had a good laugh at the idea of me struggling to get there.

Oh.

Oh, because that never happens. Got it.

Did she tell you what she thinks of when she's having a difficult time getting there?

Were you hoping that—

Firefighter?

Were you hoping that she'd be like, you know, me too, sometimes?

I don't know what I was hoping for.

Think of what it'd be like if you had a twin.

But she had a good sense of humor about it, so we're okay. We're still married.

Did it get to her sister?

For all the Reddit posts saying— it got everywhere. It got around.

I want to know—

my mother-in-law knows.

I mean, it has something to do with the personalities involved, but Zazz, who should be the most offended in this entire thing? The wife? The twin sister? Like, ugh, I don't want you thinking about me like that, Chris. Or is it the firefighter?

It's a good question.

It has to be my wife. My wife is the answer here.

The thing is, if you're the firefighter, you kind of look at— so, oh, this is my beautiful—

I don't think offensive is the word to use. It has to be like, who is the most uncomfortable?

Maybe.

Well, I think yourself. For our audience, let's recap the audience.

Yeah, just to recap, um, Chris said that when he can't get it up and can't get going—

no, that is what you said.

Exactly.

When I can't Okay, so when, when, when— completely different. Let's not interrupt.

Yeah, so when, when, when Chris is doing it with his wife, he thinks of, uh, her twin sister, who of course is married to a fireman. That is the context that is necessary here, uh, for this story about Chris who thinks of his wife's twin sister when he's having sex.

The other night I was staying in, at least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip You look around and you think, yeah, this was the right move. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975, and it still hits different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere. They sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Dan Levitar.

Cheaters never prosper.

Stugatz.

I ain't cheating.

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

I mean, in reality, that should be a compliment. Compliment because you're thinking essentially of your wife. They look identical.

Yeah, super compliment for sure.

So glad we got back here.

It feels like a compliment, but it's weird because normally, like, if you're gonna think of something that's like taboo, you know, you, you would want to think of, uh, you know, think of some strange, you know, you're not gonna think of the exact same thing.

Well, it's an indictment of personality though, isn't it?

I guess.

I, uh, well, the old shrew that I'm with gets me down, but I get up when I think of the twin sister. I think the guy— let's move on. I think The guy who should be— the person who should be bummed out from all this is the firefighter, because he is— he's taken with, he's attracted to physically and otherwise, this woman. And then he's like, you know what shows me where I stand in the world order is the woman that I won, I won her heart, my competition is Chris Cody? Would that date help you?

Why'd you say that that way?

I think like, I think it would like, it would really highlight or lowlight for you where you are in life. Like, this is my basically my competition for this level of woman.

I think, I think you're thinking about this the wrong way, Dave. I think, oh, I mean, Chris— because Chris revealed to us that he shared this information with his brother-in-law at bowling the other night. And I was thinking about it, it's like, what if he had been like, no way, me too, bro! Isn't it wild and crazy? We're married to women that look exactly alike when you're really drunk, right?

Yeah.

She the right twin or the left twin?

I mean, if you were— if you said like, I— there's someone else in the picture. I just started dating a beautiful woman. There's another guy in the picture, though. You should know, like, oh, who is he? Well, you may have seen him in a movie. He's Brad Pitt. That would make my self-esteem soar that that's what I'm competing against. You understand? Now you're the firefighter and basically your competition is Chris Cody. And I don't know how that makes—

Well, he has to live with that.

We're dating.

Like when you're— when you're married to twins, like you have this like, oh, we— we're in the same boat here.

We're married.

Same boat, bro.

Me and you.

Yeah.

This is how the firefighter talk. He's already thought this thought, I think, of like, this is—

that's how the firefighter talk.

And he doesn't look like the guy they keep showing on the screen.

Okay.

That's me right there. Look at me with my abs, man. I'm a firefighter.

What country is this firefighter from?

I'm from here, right here in America like you.

It's like a really bad Dusty Rhodes.

I don't know who that is.

It's a hand talker.

So this weekend, this Sunday, is— it's kind of snuck up on us, right? Is the NBA Draft Lottery. That's right, the Panthers a couple days ago, they struck out in the NHL Draft Lottery. They actually dropped down a spot from 8 to 9. Well, the Miami Heat, the Heat fans have waited for this, right? It's been 4 straight years The 3 previous years of being a play-in team, every single year the Heat fan, uh, a good portion of them wants the Heat to miss the playoffs so they can get a lottery pick. And now finally, after the 4th consecutive year of being a play-in, the Heat, they are in the lottery. The Heat have not been in the lottery since 2019, right? 2019, that's gotta be the last time.

Tyler Herro.

Tyler Herro, last time they've been in the lottery. 2019. And the time before that? 2017?

Bam Adebayo.

That's right. Ooh, let's keep playing this game. 2015?

Justise Winslow.

How about— good for you, Amin. Do you think you can keep going? 2009?

Beasley.

No, that's— oh wait, 2009 was— oh, I don't know that one.

That's because they made the playoffs. 2008, you're right. Michael Beasley. That's an excellent job out of you. Wow, that is a good one. All right, good job, Amin. So the Heat are in the draft lottery this weekend. I think they have like a 5%, little less than 5% chance to get the number 1 overall pick. So is there a chance, you know, every year, like last year for instance, the Mavericks got Cooper Flagler. Oh, it's rigged! Adam Silver gave it to them because they gave the Lakers Luka Dončić. They owe the Mavericks. Wouldn't you say that maybe the NBA owes the Heat a little something-something for the Charlotte Hornets' Terry Rozier? Fiasco. Hey, you know what, you guys, you didn't sue the league, you didn't make a public mess, you didn't— Pat Riley had an opportunity to really say something last week and he kind of took the high road. Maybe the league, they now reward the Miami Heat with the top pick in the draft. How you load up?

I love that, man. I love that too, man. Uh, no, at the, I, at the core of every great conspiracy has to be a good story. If you're not a good storyteller, you can't be a conspiracy theorist. So, for example, the New Orleans Pelicans win the draft lottery. The number one overall pick is gonna be Zion Williamson. Why'd they get it? Because they had to give Anthony Davis up to the basketball gods to Los Angeles. That's the payback. And Anthony Davis was a Pelican why? Because he was the number one overall pick because They tried to trade Chris Paul to the Lakers, and then they turn it around and say, here you go. And this is the way it works. You need a great story, Dave Dameshek, in order for the conspiracy to grab legs. Now, before that, you guys were like, don't they owe the Heat because they haven't been in the lottery? I'm like, that's a terrible story. No one's going to believe that one. But when you turn it into the Heat were wronged, they got wronged by the league with the Terry Rozier fiasco, and all they got back was a measly second-round pick.

As Ira Winderman pointed out, wait a second, you guys gave up a first-round pick, why is the settlement a second-round pick? And Pat Riley in his eminent wisdom said, hey, we didn't negotiate that, the league negotiated that with the Hornets, so we don't have any say on that. But we're gonna have to move on. You know why he's moving on? Because the fix is already in, ladies and gentlemen! We got ourselves not 4, not 3, not 2, the number 1 overall pick. Will be the Miami Heat on Sunday.

I mean, fascinating conspiracy theory, but most good stories require a great star. Who is the, the guy? Who is there? There's not really a Cooper Flagg, is there?

Well, some people would argue there might be multiple Cooper Flaggs in this draft. How about A.J. Dubanza, right, from BYU? How about from Kansas, Darren Peterson? What if we go down to, oh, I don't know, a place in Raleigh-Durham area called Duke University? Where a certain someone—

You know about Duke University?

Heard of it.

A certain someone who is an alum of a certain local high school here in South Florida, maybe a Boozer will be a Miami Heat player. Who knows? There's all of these great players in the draft, uh, this year. This is why the tanking was so bad this year, because everyone's like, I gotta get me one of these kids.

So not only do the Heat have a good story for being rewarded with the number 1 overall pick because they were screwed by the Hornets and the league in losing their pick next year. But the Heat also are a good story for the league to prop up in front of everybody in a year that tanking was rampant. Here's a team, uh-huh, who never tanks and they never will tank, and they just won the draft lottery. This shows Tanking doesn't work.

Your third eye is wide open, and because your head is so big, your third eye must be also massive. It's got a lot of real estate right there. But yes, this is it, Dave Dameshek. You need a great story and a great protagonist, and that's exactly the part. It's like most people like, ew, the Miami Heat. But no, if the great villain in our story is tanking, then the hero The hero is Pat Riley.

The hero's team. I like that. Also, I like that Zazzalo's third eye kind of pokes out through that little space in his backwards hat. Who is—

if they do get the number— it's a hair coming out, it's an eye.

Yeah, I like that. Uh, Peyton has his red mark, you have your third eye poking through there. The, um, what is then Amin and Zazz and, and the gathered group, what would be the correct pick then?

To me, probably Dibansa.

Really?

Yeah.

Isn't the guy though, either DeVance or Peterson, isn't the mistake, even though the risk of, man, he, I don't dig him taking himself out of the game and everything else, isn't the guy who has the upside to be an actual superstar, the Kansas kid, right?

Peterson.

Yeah. Isn't he the one and only though? I'm not talking about a rotational guy. I'm not talking about a guy who can be a nice piece. I'm talking about the one guy who can be, it seems like he's the best player on his team.

He's the Kansas kid.

Yeah, I don't know.

A lot of people love the Bansa. He's been— he was remarkable.

Like, win a title with that guy as your best player.

Yeah, like the people— a lot of people are high on him. Uh, Mike actually brings up a really good name in Akov. He's a guy that as a big guard, right, that's where our league is going to, these larger guards that can play either slot.

That's my favorite prospect in the draft, actually. But I'm with me, and I, I think that You know, the 4 other names that he rattled off are potential All-Stars.

Yeah, really.

It's a great draft.

You're right where there's not a Wembanyama. It's probably not even a Cooper Kupp. But, but these, but these are really big names. These are big names. And there's a bunch of them at the top of the draft where, like, if you don't get the number 1 overall pick and number 2 or number 3 is still really—

but don't you think, again, just the buzz that I have picked up from a distance here, much like a mean sleeping through the movie and hearing what other people have to say about it. The Kansas kid is the one who can fill it up in a way that very few human beings in the last quarter century have been able to. He can get a bucket anytime he wants to. That describes somebody who is an NBA All-Star, right? An essential member. Like, that's the guy you want, I would think.

I mean, DiBanzo is an incredible scorer too this year, and he's got great size and He does a lot of other things as well. He's a good passer, he's a good rebounder. I'm not trying to be combative here. It really is like a toss-up. It depends on who's picking really at the top of that draft.

If the Heat— let's, let's play fantasy world, alright?

Because the Heat have, let me see, I got a 1% chance to win number 1 overall and a roughly little less than 5% chance to be in the top 4.

Yeah, and look, top 4 would be the goal. Top 4, you're gonna get a stud. All right, number 1 would be unbelievable, but— and by the way, the Heat have never won the draft lottery in the history of the franchise. They have never won the number 1 pick. I'm not even sure they've ever won the lottery in terms of being outside the top 3— now it's top 4— but being outside that top 3 and jumping into the top 3. I don't think that's even ever happened for the Miami Heat.

Dan Le Batard, all these high-paid analysts I don't want to mention names. TNT, ESPN, you know. Oh yeah, they are dead. They cannot— they are not going to make it. You know, even if they win in— if they lose in Miami—

I need to calm you down.

That's right. If they lose in Miami, they don't got a chance in Boston. Oh, they are going to have their ass, you know what, in Boston, you know. Stugatz. They were wrong. They were— are they going to lose their job?

No.

Are they going to get a cut in pay? No. What are they going to do?

Keep predicting what is the obvious.

They are going to say Oh, the Nuggets are going to win. Oh, Denver, the altitude. And you know what? The Heat are going to win it all. This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

Ooh, the Dwyane, the year before Dwyane got here, they weren't, they didn't jump a little?

When they, when they got who?

When they got Dwyane.

When they got Dwyane, they were number 5.

No, but the year before.

Who?

Where did Caron Butler—

they've never—

they've never jumped up ever.

They've never moved forward. They've never won the lottery in any form. They've only moved back from 1 to 2, and that was Michael Beasley. And when they selected Steve Smith, they were— they were already in the top 3, and they— and they stayed number 3 overall. Glenn Rice was number 4. Like, the Heat have never in any capacity moved up, had their number drawn.

They've never moved up. Well, to move up, guess what? Adam Silver, it's on the to-do list.

Well, I— oh, look at that, the third eye coming through for the viewer.

That's disgusting.

It really is kind of disgusting.

You can't expect me to go around in life like that.

Brother, that's a good thing, man. Your third eye is wide open. You're a part of the Illuminati now.

You have a pretty eye.

You can't wear fitted caps. That's the only limitation. You gotta have the snapback on. I mean, to perpetuate the conspiracy theorizing here, you know, certain leagues want certain teams to do well. It benefits the overall league. Is it important to the NBA that the, that the Miami Heat present as an ongoing relevant franchise? Do they care about the Miami Heat more than— I mean, obviously the Knickerbockers are probably number one, right?

I don't think so.

Lakers and big metropolises.

So this, this has been one of the funniest things with people complaining about big markets, and especially when the Heat signed LeBron and Chris Bosh, all these big markets. And they're like, Miami's actually technically, if you rank 1 through 30, they are in the lower half of the league in terms of media market sizes. It is a small market.

I mean, overall media market in, in the country, they're number 13, so they're probably something like that in the NBA, mid, middle of the, of the pack.

They're not a big market, really. Yeah, it's just because it's a cool area, people associate and affiliate that with Surely they're this massive market. They're not. There's a reason why people leave Miami to go pursue entertainment dreams elsewhere. It's because this isn't a big kind of mecca for that kind of stuff. Now, here's the deal. Any other year, any other kind of framing, no, the league does not need the Heat to be good or to be rewarded in any way. But when you say our villain, our Thanos is tanking, Well, this is Captain America right here.

That's right, dude.

I'm fired up, right?

I didn't think there was even a chance.

You are right now convincing me this is going to happen, even though I've got to be honest.

I'll be so good.

There's a little part of me emotionally because this whole group has been caping up for the idea of tanking for the last few years that like there's just like a 1% part of me, the same percent chance that he'd actually get the number one pick. That's like, I kind of hope they don't move because then I'm going to have to eat it. And just selfishly, I don't want to deal with that.

They're stupid.

I told you.

I just had to say it out loud.

Now I don't feel it anymore.

I feel like I've said this before. I'll say it again. I am wired to be the guy who would not want to have the first overall pick if there are two good options.

You want someone else to make the decision for you, right?

That's right. Then you can't blame me. Like, the worst, the worst outcome is you're the Chargers and you get Ryan Leaf. Then that's bad, but at least you can say, well, what else was I supposed to do? They took Peyton. I had no other choice but to take this guy. And I would rather be the one— I always refer back to— Roy will know what I'm talking about— back in, what was it, 1990, the great draft with, I think, 3 or 4 Hall of Famers drafted in the first 5. There were 5 juicy names. The 5th was Jaromir Jagr. He fell to the Penguins at number 5. 4 other teams could have taken Jagr. Instead, they took the likes of Rod Brind'Amour, who was good, but he wasn't as good as Jaromir Jagr. That helped shape my opinion, Zazz.

Well, it sounds like, Zazz, you need that cuck Ottoman next to your cuck chair so that he can sit there. You're a cuck, Mr. Damashek?

A draft cuck.

You want someone else to be doing the action while you sit there and watch. Hey, you know, in this market, what happens when you say, oh, someone else get number 1, I'll be number 2? They get Derrick Rose and you get Michael Beasley.

Yeah, but you can't fire me if it's not my fault. Like, well, I didn't have anything to do. They took the guy who I was going to take, obviously, boss.

What did you want me to do?

They took Sam Bowie. Well, I guess we now have to take Michael Jordan. What are we left with? See? See how it works?

If the Heat were to win the draft lottery or even get number 2 overall, number 1, number 2 overall, They would, like, if they wanted, they would be a lock to get Giannis Antetokounmpo if they get number 1 or number 2. You can have him, okay? Like, the Bucks will take whatever your offer is if you then include the number 1 or number 2 overall pick. That's for sure. My question, I mean, go ahead.

So this is what I like to call the Family Guy mystery box thing, which is like, a boat's a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. Hell, it could be a boat, right? So you're saying like, oh, you know, Giannis is Giannis. Yep. But the draft pick could be an incredible inspirational talent. He could be as good as Giannis. And it's like, well, what do you do? Do you take the Giannis that's already here and guaranteed, or do you take the hope that this guy can become Giannis?

I think the Heat— I think if the Heat got the number 1 overall pick, even the number 2 overall pick, I would definitely not trade that for Giannis Antetokounmpo.

Amen.

Absolutely not. And you know what? I don't think that they would, because here's the thing, Mike. Apparently they were the last team standing, right? When it came to, if we're going to trade Giannis, this is the offer. Alright, we're not going to do it. So if you had the best offer there, why would you now also include the number 1 overall pick?

We— I think we have to be, um, really smart about this. Any of the 4 names that Amin mentioned I'd rather have for the next 3 years in Miami than Giannis. Any of them. You have to be smart about this.

Put that on the record.

I think, I think any of those top 4 names that you mentioned are going to be much better assets for you 3 years from now. I honestly look at what happened with Giannis this year. You could argue his body's already breaking down and his game is so highly dependent on his physical attributes.

I think it's the key.

Totally a dynamic player and he's 30.

I mean, we— these players, they kind of fall off a cliff. Russell Westbrook was a different type of player, but he was so reliant on his physical gifts. And unlike Dwyane Wade, he didn't have enough, uh, other aspects of his game to age with grace. I don't think Giannis can age with grace defensively. Yes, absolutely, he's always going to have a place in the NBA, but this talisman that you can win a championship with, that they're going to be fouling every 5 seconds because he has—

I think you're right.

I would take any of those 4 names. Let's be smart.

I think the way to look at it is like this. Number one, I think actually Giannis' game will age better than most other players because he's still big. He's just long.

Oh, he's going to be a defensive force provided he's still out there.

And he'll still be able to like just finish around the rim and do all those things. I think the big thing here is the ultimate question I was talking about the other day. Every team and every player has to be able to answer this question truthfully and accurately. And if you do, riches and rewards await you. And if you don't, you're going to be lost in purgatory. Who am I? You look at the Miami Heat, if they were like a piece away or a superstar away, I'd be like, yeah, swing for the fences, this is your chance. But if you're being honest, you look at this team, this is a mediocre team. It's, it's not, it's not a Giannis away from competing for a championship. You still need more stuff outside of that.

Now, I, I will, I will put a caveat that they are in the East and they could be a Giannis away from making a Finals run.

So the way I would argue against that is if you look at Milwaukee's supporting cast, when Giannis was in the lineup this year, they were literally a.500 team. And like, like, you can— I get it, Bam's better than anybody on their team, but once you get past Bam, there's a bunch of dudes like, oh, he could have been here, he could have been there. He's got Rollins, could have been here, could have been there.

That is part of the reason they have all this flexibility flexibility though. Like, that, that was why they set up for having flexibility, not just this year but next year as well, because they were looking at all of these free agents that were going to be available next year, using that space as, you know, a space to trade those massive contracts into and then build a different roster around it. You have all of these guys— Norman Powell, who's a free agent, Andrew Wiggins, and Tyler Herro, who will be on one-year contracts you can move for the proper supporting pieces. And also, this is like, we're talking about if they were to jump into the top 4. If they don't, and then you're moving the 12th pick, all of the things that everyone just said about Giannis that they're not going to want to have, we're all going to celebrate.

No, but that's different. That's different, right?

But Milwaukee still wants that deal though. If it's, let's say it's the 7th pick, Milwaukee still takes that, right?

And they won't be able to get the 7th pick, but I understand what you're saying.

Yeah, right. I'm saying not one of the, one of the—

I mean, based on, based on them almost almost taking what the Heat offered at the deadline. If you also include, uh, a lottery pick this year, yeah, I would assume that they would take it.

Yeah, I mean, like, look, it's a strong package with a lottery pick, let's say the 12th pick or whatever. The problem is there's a new suitor that's entered, allegedly, in the Boston Celtics, and they say, hey, what do you want? You want a superstar player or like an All-NBA MVP candidate caliber player? We got one of those. Oh, you don't want that? You want picks and stuff? Okay, I can take this guy, shop literally anywhere in the league and get the kind of pick haul that they want in return. That's the problem. So at this point, if that offer is on the table— we don't know that yet— but if it is, the Heat have to be able to sweeten the pot. And the sweetening of the pot is if your pick goes from 13, what it is today, to 4. That's a pot sweetener. I'm not saying you do it. I'm just saying that's where this, like, this arms race is headed.

The, the only way I would trade that top pick if Miami wins the lottery would be if I made the previous deal for Giannis that was offered, and I can now also make another deal with this top pick.

This is the LeBron goes back to Cleveland move, right? So it's like, hey, you went and got LeBron, and now I can trade that number 1 overall pick and go get Kevin Love.

That's the only way I would do it. That's it. Because then you're— all right, now we're, we're win now. We're gonna win now. But otherwise, I would not trade. This was fun. It's not going to happen, but this was fun.

I think people get covetous and overly optimistic, and it's a funny, you know, sociological thing that happens that so many people, like you said at the very start, that a lot of Heat fans, what they want most is the promise of a lottery pick, a high lottery pick. It's like, but you have good actual people on the team, you know, you have Bam at least, and that sort of logic. It speaks to what the way the sports fan's mind operates. But I think Mike makes the important point where Giannis is concerned. You might trade for 30— it would be smart no matter what to trade for 30-year-old Tom Brady. I don't think it's smart to trade for 30-year-old Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen. That's the logic. Giannis is before our eyes slowing down. He is all about being a rim attacker. Is he going to still be that when he's 32? Unlikely.

Oh, you mentioned LeBron.

I want that guy.

Can we get him back? What?

What?

What? What?

What?

The other night I was staying in. At least that was the plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing, and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around, and you think, yeah, this was the right move. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975, and it still hits different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.