Transcript of Mike Consoled A Naked Man + Do The Miami Heat Need to Fire Alonzo Mourning? | Local Hour New

What happened to the Cyclones?

I'm not. I'm not saying a goddamn word. No, I don't want— I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to relive it. I've avoided everything. I've been brought in on work slacks. Hey, can you give this edit a look-see? No, no, I'm on. I'm emotionally unavailable right now.

Most brutal of losses.

Well, can you tell me what happened, though? I don't know what happened.

I would say, put it in baseball terms, we walked in the game-winning run in extra innings.

We choked. We choked. We choked it away.

Bocked. Okay, bocked actually. We bocked it in.

We had a 5-1 lead in the 6th set, um, and we blew that. And then we went to a tiebreaker. We battled back from down 4-3 in the tiebreaker set to make a double championship point. Everything on the line, one point to rule them all, 5-5. And then we double faulted at 5-5.

We had the serve.

The championship was won on a double fault.

It stunk and it was close and it was like there was like a 4-minute period where we were like, did they screw that call up?

The ball was in, Chris. The ball was in. No, I mean, Roy, live it seemed like it just touched the line and we're going with our iPhones to the commissioner of the sport. Is this in? He went back to the replay center, says it was out, and I think it was out too. And it's just—

I may have grabbed the commissioner by the shirt.

It was one point for the championship.

Like, yeah, we went through the 6 sets, we were tied 3-3, and so you go to a championship tiebreaker, one game to 6, and it ended up 5-5. It was Division 1 versus Division 1, best on best. It went all the way to 5-5, first to 6 points wins. We were serving for the championship and we double faulted.

I just fell to my knees.

Brutal.

Same.

Sounds embarrassing.

And then grabbed the commissioner by the lapel.

I was just like, that was that. Like, that— we got to be able to review that. I mean, I didn't grab his shirt. It was more just like a shoulder. Like, how can we not review that?

Many are calling it the best Battlecourt match ever played, certainly the most memorable, and a finish that you don't often see. I'm not embarrassed. I'm super proud of the boys. That was the best team in Highline versus the second best team in Highline, and it went down to the very last possible point. It just sucks that we don't get to see that point play out. and we lose it on a double fault, a really close double fault.

So the best team didn't win?

No, the best team did win. The top seed won. And credit to the Chargers. Kay Marie finally wins her first championship. It was at our expense. Just a huge rip your heart out of your chest type of loss. That's— I mean, I know a lot of highlight here is a bid, and maybe not everyone's drawn into the sport. Chris and I are totally drawn in. And yeah, we were crestfallen. That, that really stunk. That was a painful sports loss for us.

Now, after something that was probably positive for Mike's Bar but didn't sit well with me, the other team came to Las Rosas to celebrate. Brought the trophy.

At Mike's Bar? So did what Josh Hart did to the Sixers yesterday.

Mike's Bar's the live of Highline.

Mm-hmm.

But yeah, you know how like all of hockey celebrates at Club Eleven? That's what Battlecourt does. Yeah, Battlecourt. You win the Battlecourt Championship, you celebrate at Las Rosas. So you give some grace there, but it hurt to sheepishly walk in with a trophy in your hand.

Manu not happy.

You leave the trophy in the car. You don't bring the trophy there. That, that, that's bad.

At one point, Manu grabbed their trophy from their table, just put it in the corner of the bar, and they were too afraid to go grab it.

Uh, put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you need to leave the trophy in the car? But just for the record, what you guys are saying is the championship The winners of Hai Lai Battle Court were basically, as it was being decided, watching just like the rest of you and not having to actually do anything because it was just self-inflicted double fault on the serve. Two bad serves ends up finishing your season. So the champions didn't have to do anything, could have not had cestas, could have been on the court on the final point and not been— not had cestas.

Why are you trying to make it more embarrassing and heartbreaking for us?

This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

While I was gone in Los Angeles, we won a what?

Pulitzer.

I think it's a Pulitzer.

Yes.

Uh, can you guys look up for me? Cause I want to make sure I have this right. Look this up for me because Metal Ark Media winning a Pulitzer. I cannot explain to people the size of this achievement, even though I don't believe that anybody cares. I really don't believe— I heard from precious few people, even in journalism, about the fact that I think Metal Ark Media has now done something. You look it up for me. I don't think ABC News has ever won a Pulitzer in its history. I don't think NBC News has ever won a Pulitzer in its history. I don't think CNN, USA Today, the BBC, Time magazine, just giant media entities that have been around forever, I don't think have ever won a Pulitzer. When I tell you guys—

OAN.

What are the big— Fox News has never won a Pulitzer, obviously.

Newsmax.

If ABC—

Project Report.

If ABC News hasn't won a Pulitzer, does that mean that Disney hasn't won a Pulitzer in any of the entities that it owns? Just check AI real quick to find out.

I'm looking it up, Dan.

If Disney I don't know if Disney has ever won a Pulitzer in any category, but when you think of the big prizes that can be won in America or around the world, obviously the Nobel Peace Prize is the biggest, but when you think of—

Kill Tony.

—prizes, giant prizes, what are the giant prizes in America that come with some reputation? Because I don't believe— Battlecourt. —people care about this one anymore.

No, because people don't care about journalism all that much. So congratulations on winning a death rattle, Dan. I would rather have a New Times Award, to be honest. Those have been harder to come by lately.

We need to get Zoe out of there, out of the lottery. We need to—

you want to talk about hard to come by? This is— I, you know, I went back and forth because I understand that the Heat's cultural mindset means that, you know, ultimately they deserve— because they deserve a higher pick because they're keeping the spirit of sportsmanship and integrity alive by trying to win. But the Heat in reality got exactly what they deserved. Half in, half out. Total misjudge of their team, a misread. And you hope for some luck, and when you're hoping for some luck, it doesn't go your way. This is, you know, It's objectively funny that somehow the Florida Panthers have a higher draft pick than the Miami Heat. Nuts.

I was on my way home last night driving back from Orlando. I had quite the weekend, Dan, and we were watching on my phone in the car the draft lottery, and we are, we are hyping it up. Me and my son in the front seat, we're super excited for it. What, for like 15 minutes? We are We are hyping up. If this envelope opens up and it doesn't say the Heat, we're in business here. Like, we were on fire for like a good 10 minutes.

Did you end your trip early for this?

No, no, no, no, no, that's not necessary, okay? And we're watching the car and then they open up, they open up the 14th envelope. We're like, don't be the Heat, don't be the Heat! And it's the Hornets. Okay, okay, we're in business now. And then they open up the 13th envelope and it's got the Heat logo and like it was all over so fast. It was so disappointing.

And it's such a bad pick because you look at this draft like, gimme top 7. I don't even want number 1.

Jay Billis tells me it's a great draft. Let me move up.

Let me move up, please. The Miami Heat never move up in the lottery. They've—

Dan, in the history of the organization— now granted, they're not in the lottery very often. Like, the last time they were in the lottery before this year was 2019, 2017, 2015, 2008. They're never in the lottery, okay? But of the 12 times in franchise history that they'd have been in the lottery, they have never moved up. When they've been in the top 3, they've dropped down. Like in 2008, they dropped down from 1 to 2. And other years when they've been outside the top 3, now they draw 4. They have never had their number called.

Aren't they empirically the unluckiest team in the history of the ping pong balls?

Yeah, they've never ever moved up.

So do you have to get Zo out of there? Yes.

Yeah, it's 4 straight years he's been the rep. Now granted, No rep for the Heat has ever found the lottery luck, but Zo's been there 4 times. They never— like, let's, let's shake it up.

So as a player, was famously either stoic or bothered. We keep sending stoic or bothered to the lottery, and the image I have of Zo at the lottery is him just crushed every time, sitting up there as their good luck charm and bringing them Absolutely no good luck, but a great figure to have representing your franchise, a top 5 player in franchise history.

But unlucky one, Dan. Like, the whole point is we got to get luck. Send Bernie. Mike said send Mike B. Like, send somebody.

He would have been good.

And by the way, uh, uh, like, in Alonzo Mourning's prime with the Miami Heat, the team was unlucky.

You can't say Mike B would be a good choice. Regionally, he would be a good choice. Nationally, he would not be a good choice. My father, one year there was a, uh, a local a push to get my father in there as somebody. Another good one would be a bit of a— is your dad lucky? A bit of a mascot. Uh, yeah, I would say my— I would say that my father is somebody who is luckier than Zo, but that's not saying much. Zo represents the face of the unluckiest thing in the history of ping pong balls.

Who was the strangest person you saw representing their team? Because I'll tell you, I was taken aback when Vince Carter was repping the Nets.

Like, oh yeah, he played with the Nets. Yeah, with the Nets. That was weird, right? A couple years ago. I know she's married to the owner, but the lady that was the love interest in The Lost Boys and in Twister, she represented the Hawks. That's her? What? Yeah. And I was like, wait a second, where do I know her from?

Oh yes, that's right, that's right, with the black hair.

I know you're talking about.

She was dating Bill Paxton and was very onto the connection that he had with Helen Hunt. And you know what, at a certain point she's like, I understand what's going on here. You guys were made for each other.

There was something about her in Twister.

Uh, when you guys talk about, uh, the sadness involved with the Heat in the draft, it is a little stark, okay, to see what's happened over the last 4 years. When you just rewind to where the Knicks were 4 years ago when they were playing the Heat in the playoffs, and you knew they weren't going to get past the Heat, you knew that Jalen Brunson was not enough, and then they add Karl-Anthony Towns because they knew that Jalen Brunson and Julius Randle weren't going to be enough. And so to see what the Knicks are presently doing, it is simply crazy to me to see something in a Knicks uniform playing this way, where they are winning 3 straight playoff games by more than 25 points. No one's ever done that. The Knicks have won 7 straight playoff games. They're awesome. This is a franchise I associate basically this entire century with almost a total incompetence. But to see exactly what I'm telling you, which is you You saw that Jalen Brunson did not have enough to get past the Heat. To see over the last 4 years the way that the management of the Knicks has done the correct things and the management of the Heat have not done the correct things.

It's nuts to see what's at the top of that conference now.

I don't think it's too different from where the Heat were with Jimmy Butler. I think Jalen Brunson is one of those superstars. Can you really win a title with him as your best player? Probably, probably not. You have to really surround him with a lot of talent to get it right. I think they've made a lot of moves, ballsy moves, even moves that you could look back and say probably an overreach, but moves that they felt like they had to make. And they've certainly put pieces around them, but they've stepped up.

Those pieces have stepped up. OG Anunoby has been awesome. Crazy. He's been—

no, but he's been an all-star for about 2 months. Like he's been playing like an all-star. Being their third best player makes them so much better than Josh Hart being lovable third best player.

I mean, can't we say, though, that the Knicks over the last Few seasons, Towns, Anunoby, Bridges. They're very aggressive while the Heat are very conservative. Well, where do they go from here?

Where do you have the Heat going from here? Because Giannis— yeah, but at this point, I feel like the worry or concern around Giannis's body makes that somehow less attractive and exciting than it would have been 4 months ago, a year ago. A year and a half ago. There's something about that that feels like it's going to somehow be anticlimax, even if they do get him. And now what you have that you did not have at the trade deadline is now Boston's really in the game for Giannis, and they have pieces that can take Giannis that Miami doesn't have, which is problematic when you have that happening inside of the conference.

When you think you have the best hand and then somebody all of a sudden comes into the table and they've got a better hand, you're looking around saying, all right, well are the couple of picks, maybe Tyler Herro, maybe Jović, maybe somebody better than a Jaylen Brown package or picks from Atlanta.

You were hoping to get better or at least have a better stockpile of assets to go pursue the champ, to pursue a championship piece such as Giannis.

They do. They do, though, because this pick is now available for trade.

Yeah, this is a tradable pick and you wanted something that would probably give you a few more options. But also I look at the, the other teams that are ahead of them in the draft lottery. They all got better hands in the Miami Heat. They all improved their chances at getting those same type of superstars too. I mean, you look at the lay of the land, let's, let's start right at the top. I think you just got passed by the Wizards. The Wizards were a team that made some moves. I know we did. Look, Atlanta got way better by getting rid of Trae Young, and Anthony Davis is a very bizarre player, but that's enough to get to the playoffs in the East. And now you add the number 1 pick and you consider their young pieces, they're actually rewarded for their effort against Bam. It's crazy, but I think you're even further away in the East as presently constituted now than you were before that lottery. Chris Cody, when you come over to my house and we put on the games, I got basketball, I got baseball going on. But what do I lay out for you and the boys for entertainment and drinking?

Miller Lite. Uh-huh. Those beautiful white cans or On draft or the bottle if you prefer.

Oh, when you open that with the can though, when you— kach-kach-kach-kach-kach-kach.

One of the best sounds on the planet. You pair that with the right game. You take that first sip. We both look around. It's not a bit.

I have goosebumps thinking about the first sip.

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Dan Lebatard. All these high-paid analysts, I don't want to mention names, TNT, ESPN, you know. Oh yeah, they, they are dead. They cannot— they're not going to make it, you know. Even if they win in— if they lose in Miami—

I need to calm you down.

That's right, they lose in Miami, they don't got a chance in Boston. Oh, they are going to have their ass, you know what, in Boston, you know. Stugatz. They were wrong. They were— are they Are they going to lose their job? No. Are they going to get a cut in pay? No. What are they going to do? Keep predicting what is the obvious. They are going to say, oh, the Nuggets are going to win. Oh, Denver, the altitude. And you know what? They are not going to win at all. This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugatz.

I think Boston is going to make a very serious play for Giannis. It's a team that over the last years, again, has been very aggressive. In making moves while the Heat are very conservative. You know, the Heat consistently like their team while you have good teams, teams like the Knicks who are good and then they made a big trade. Teams like the Celtics who are good and then they made a big trade. The Heat sit back on it. We, we like our team. You know, I think Boston is going to make a big play. But the thing is, Dan, like Giannis is going to have a little bit of a say. If like Kevin Garnett initially destroyed the trade to Boston, he He said he, he would not go play for the Celtics, and then it took convincing, and then he finally agreed to it. Like, there is a very real world where Giannis is like, I, I don't want to play in Boston.

What are you guys doing here with Anthony Davis? Because when you make the Wizards good because you're assuming Anthony Davis is their best player, uh, and you're counting on Anthony Davis' health, if I frame for you right now, hey, the Heat are in the market for Joel Embiid, do you even want that?

No. Damaged goods.

Okay, but so why are you doing that with Anthony Davis?

I could be talked into Joel Embiid. I could be talked in.

But what are you doing where you're making Anthony Davis somehow healthier than Joel Embiid, where you're giving the Wizards something in Anthony Davis that you wouldn't even want playing on the Heat?

I'm not, I'm not making him healthier than Joel Embiid. I just think that they've done a lot of things with their roster. They have young pieces, and with the number 1 pick, especially with a defensive anchor like Anthony Davis playing alongside him, I, I think the Wizards are probably better than the Miami Heat. And that shouldn't be shocking because, damn, the Miami Heat or not a good basketball team. That's crazy. They're a bad basketball team. And if you want to look, let's not even have the conversation with the Wizards because we'll disagree on whether or not the Wizards are a playoff team next year. I think what the model is, what happened to the Chicago Bulls. The Chicago Bulls played a little this season and realized, look, we're perpetually in this group with the Miami Heat and Atlanta Hawks. Now look at the moves that Atlanta made to those two teams, made a decision. And those two teams are now better positioned in the East than Miami is, and it's not by a little. Chicago got rewarded for their decision to make the right eval on their roster that wasn't good enough, and now they have the number 4 pick.

You correct that though if you get Giannis, right? You're no longer saying Washington— like, you're making— Washington was dreadful last year, like really bad, obviously, you know, the worst record in the league. But also you saw Bam put up 83 against them, and what they were throwing on the court the last half of the season was not a professional basketball team.

But again, with the Giannis thing, like, if Chicago decides internally they want— I know they're not there right now and their franchise may be headed in a different direction, but if Chicago said, hey, we want to make a play for Giannis, that team is just 90 minutes away. He practically lives closer to War Arena than he does to Milwaukee's. Chicago now has a better hand than Miami. They got young players on their team, and they have a much more attractive pick at number 4 where you can get a perennial all-star.

The Wizards lost 27 out of 28 games to end the season.

They lost 60 games this year, right?

Uh, that was a basketball team at the end that was NBA in name only, wearing an NBA uniform in name only, and all of the tankers were rewarded except for the Pacers, correct?

Oh my God, Brooklyn got screwed. Brooklyn always gets screwed. When is Brooklyn gonna decide, you know what, every year they start playing and every year we have multiple teams jump us. They suck.

Well, also, how about don't take 7 guards last year in the draft? How about that?

Brooklyn sucks. They get screwed every year. Dan, what happened to the Pacers yesterday? Oh my God, that's so bad. Like, your entire season, Tyrese Halliburton, okay, he's out, so this is gonna be a year where we're gonna stink. But man, like, if we get a top pick and then we come back and we got Halliburton as well, holy shit, it's gonna be so worth it. They ended up— not that they got jumped by other teams and they're picking like 7 like Brooklyn is, or 6. They got nothing. They don't have their pick anymore because they took a huge gamble in the Zubats trade and making it top 4, which, look, the odds were on their side to keep the top 4 and they were also going to have Zubac, and now they lose the pick altogether. Total disaster.

Well, here is the disaster for the Heat though, because what, uh, is in play now, given what's happened with the playoffs and, uh, what I assume is about to have, uh, happen to Cleveland, uh, you not only have that the Celtics can offer Brown or Tatum if they want to do that for Giannis. I don't know how they can get Giannis without giving up Jaylen Brown, but maybe they can. The Cavs can offer Mobley and 3 number ones. So the path for the Heat would be to trade Bam, and they're not going to do it. And so if they don't do it, they're going to get outbid.

If teams are in, if Giannis expands the tent of teams that he is willing to go play for, let's just say he makes it a full meritocracy and he can go anywhere inside that Eastern Conference. The Miami Heat do not have the best hand if everybody puts forth the best hand. They were the only team willing to go as far as they did by all reputable accounts. They, they finished second to let's just stay here and assess what our options are come draft time. That's not the case anymore. Everybody that would be in on Giannis, I feel like, improved their hands. And it's not just the bad teams, it's the contenders too, given what Boston just saw of it, uh, about itself in the first round.

Ultimately Gotta give Milwaukee a little bit of credit here because they have a lot more options now than they were going— or than they had at the deadline. Like, this ultimately, it's not going to work out for Milwaukee because they're going to trade Giannis, but they should trade Giannis, and they're going to have much better options now.

But that was always a conversation around the trade deadline, which made the whole thing of like, we're right on the doorstep of Giannis getting traded, was all BS because Milwaukee sits back.

I don't know that it was all BS, but—

but, Taz, you can get so much more in the summer than you can at the trade deadline with, you know, with people being like, oh, we gotta trade him.

The reporting was that ownership stepped in at the very last second and nixed what would have been a trade. It wasn't BS. Like, that's not how that went down. The Heat did indeed feel like they were the top choice, but the top choice didn't have enough to make Milwaukee ownership say, never mind, you know, we're going to trade him now. And not wait a few months.

I feel like we need to know more about what Giannis wants in terms of destination. Well, he's been really forthcoming, so you'll probably learn that, that if it is indeed open to several places like Atlanta has a better hand than you, Orlando has a better hand than you. They can just decide, all right, we see what our ceiling is with Ben Carro, and Ben Carro immediately becomes a more attractive piece than anyone that the Miami Heat are willing to trade.

Mike Bryan, you have Tony Wright next to you making a face. They have no picks though. That's the issue.

Orlando has no picks. Banchero is a much better asset than Miami. Okay, but they want picks, right?

They have zero picks. Yeah, like, or over to Memphis for—

that's what they're paying. Giannis is better than Banchero, and their team sucks with Giannis. Like, they're not just gonna take Banchero. They need picks. Who also sucks.

I'm just illuminating you on the fact that all these other teams have better options and have more roster flexibility because they have better assets that they can flip for other picks, provided that's what Milwaukee asks for.

Do they have better assets, or do they have people that they were willing to trade? Because if Bam is not getting traded unless it's Wemba and 8 picks, then we know where they stand. If they want to get Ben Carroll the hell out of town, they'll send his ass out.

That's been at the heart of every disagreement that we've had with the Miami Heat's direction. You're not that good. You think you're better than you are. You're not. And you refuse to move off of this player who I don't know how many more years need to smack you in the face to tell you when he is your best player, you are simply not good enough.

I think they're attracted to him being the second best player, which is why if they're like, if we get somebody better than him, We already have a guy who's defensive stalwart and the second-best player of our team.

Mm-hmm. Tony, I believe that you misquoted Pat Riley there when you called him "wemba ya." "Wemba ya?" Direct quote. Oh, you got it right. Thank you.

Got it right on the Wizards too. Real Hoopers knew that from way back in the day.

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What do you mean? All of a sudden Mike Ryan has to take it? The Wizards are good? I told you 6 months ago. No, come on. What are we doing?

You can't say—

after you said the Wizards— Wait, are you accusing me of stealing a take? I am. No, no, that's not how that happened. That's exactly how that happened. That's actually not how it happened.

After you said the Wizards were good, they allowed Bam to score 83 and then lost 26 of their last 27. After you said that, they lost 26 of their last 27 games, right after you said that.

I don't know if you were here or not, but as soon as they made the trade for Anthony Davis, I like their chances to make a playoff next year.

Okay, you guys don't get to take a victory lap on the Wizards are good.

Trying to take my victory lap with the one place I was in.

You can't do that because I was in the lottery. Don Lebatard.

But it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly.

Stoogatz. You said titties, it just like shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stoogatz.

Let's, uh, rewind for a second though. Give me someone one luckier to get Zo out of there. Give me somebody that you want to see the next time that they're up. Zo needs to be fired as their good luck charm. It's okay, big guy. Thank you for the help. We appreciate you flying out every time and making the sad face because, because the drama gets eliminated every year. Um, but they are empirically the unluckiest team. They cannot keep doing in the draft what they're doing in the roster, which is we're not going to change anything. We have to change something there. So give me some options that nationally resonate that are better than Zo. Didn't Dwyane Wade go one time? Yeah, Wade went one.

I think in '08 when they got Beasley. So they ended up losing a spot. I think Wade was the ref.

I think Nick Arison is gone before he works hard.

Crazy Andy, probably. Yeah.

So we have limited options when it comes to finding someone lucky from Miami who we could throw up there to see if we can get something better than the empirically unluckiest team in the history of of the lottery. Do you put this on the poll, please? @LevitarShow, did you know the Miami Heat were empirically the unluckiest team in the history of the NBA lottery? And also put on the poll, uh, Vince Carter, Raptor or Net? Because those are your only two choices that you guys are going with, even though the other day Roy stunned me by making Clemens, uh, a Blue Jay and thinking that was nuts. Roger Clemens as only a first as a Blue Jay. Vince Carter Went further in the playoffs than he's ever gone with the Nets, had more team success with the Nets than he ever had with the Raptors. Did he ever get out of the first round with the Raptors? They played in the second round.

Yeah, yeah, they played in the second round.

They never got out of the second round with Vince Carter with the Raptors though. That's not— the Raptors never got out of the second round.

I remember Vince Carter missed the shot at the buzzer in Game 7 when he came back from his graduation in North Carolina. Was that second? That was the second round. I don't think—

I think Embiid and Vince Carter, I believe both of them have never gotten out of the second round, uh, with with the Raptors, and Embiid has never gotten out of the second round with the Sixers.

Doing a thought union between Vince Carter and Zo, when Vince caught the body on Zo, caught it all the way back to the Nets and then slammed it on him.

No one's talking about that.

What no one is also talking about is the Cyclones losing in what can be described as the most pathetic way possible, where the other team didn't have to have cestas because the Cyclones serving for the championship double faulted and crushed both of their doubles.

So you're saying they could have gone with their bare hands?

If they didn't have cestas, he wouldn't have served it as hard. He could have gotten it.

This is what I'm telling you. Not only could they have gone out there without cestas, Tony, they could have been at the Highline Bar, not on the floor, and they still would have won the championship because the Cyclones double faulted to end the season.

You have them glancing over the bar like, oh, oh, we won.

Dan, do you know what I learned about Highline last week? You have to have the, the, the, the cesta on your right arm. Yeah. If you're a lefty, it doesn't matter. You tell them, hey, I'm a lefty. They're like, nah, nah, nah, we don't care. The sesta goes on the right arm.

Well, it's because if it's on the left arm, you will scrape it against the wall when you are shooting the— Sky knows pillow thing. When you're throwing the ball with your—

But I'm a lefty, so I need it.

Don't in this game. No, but it's biased against lefties. You cannot be a lefty in high life.

It's very tough.

You must be right-handed in high life. Put it on the poll, please. Discrimination. At Levitard Show, was the world made for left-handers at Levitard Show? Hill High. It's the entirety of the world. But let's just play a montage here. The Cyclones were a point from repeating as champions. And I love the range of Metal Ark Media, that it can go from winning a Pulitzer, as Zazz calls it, to also owning a Hill High team and getting all hopes crushed on the final point of the season. Let's play a little montage here to celebrate what was a successful season, more successful than Joel Embiid's, even though Joel Embiid is still saying that the Sixers had a successful sees it! And the Chargers— they're going to see Cyclone miss that house, miss that house, and come after them!

Come on, Cyclones! Let's go baby! Go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go Roy! Let's go Roy! Let's go!

Let's go Clouds! Big one here, high rope! Let's go boys!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Third match, we're doing good so far.

Get it, girl! Let's go, let's go, let's go, baby! Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

Let's go!

Yeah, lock hands, lock hands! Yeah, one more! Vamo, vamo!

Oh no, we lost. Um, arguably the greatest match in BattleCourt history. A double fault on a tiebreaker, that's a really crappy way to lose.

The entire season comes down to a single point. Damn, this one hurts. Yeah, this is tough.

Locker room was tough, and now That's what sports is. This close to the best day of your life. Sports. And then you end up having the worst day of your life.

Sports. Mascots in general make me happy, but that particular mascot makes me happier than most. George Clooney.

George Clooney. You love a costume.

Well, but it's not just a costume though. A flea market costume. A— yes, a flea market costume. Yes. Don't get mad at me because I'm saying that you've got a flea market mascot. It's like your puppet. If I took that mascot there.

How'd you feel when you were locking fingers there, Chris, with George Clooney?

Intimate.

Went back to the locker room after we lost and I wanted to console my players. I've never consoled a naked man before. That's what ended up happening. Was not my intention, but you know, he was naked. Remember, we still— Yeah, I saw pee pee. Still gave him like one of these. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Put it on the poll. Poor me. @LeBittardShow. Have you ever consoled a naked man before at LeBretard's show?

Just look straight ahead, keep your eyes up, stay focused on the game.

Clutch towel placement by him too, dangling.

Uh, ballsy move though, because at one point he just like let the towel fall. I would never do that. I would hold that thing really tight.

How would you do it? Because you're holding it over your nipples, like you're holding the towel very high.

I've struggled. I'm not going chest high with the towel.

You come out of the shower like a girl? No, no, I'm a man.

Very long towel.

I was hoping I wear it at my belto region.

It was over his left shoulder and it was dangling in between. Oh, gotcha.

I have always struggled with the towel, like latching the towel to make it like a little skirt.

It never stays for me. You haven't mastered that yet?

It never stays for me.

Well, we're—

I get like 4 steps in and then it falls.

We're a little wide there. And I'm just curious, do you put the towel over your belly button or under your belly button? Under. You put it under, so.

I'm not in public, it's a good look.

I know you're not in public, but you just made it sound like you put it over your nipples because you said you were holding it with both arms.

Well, that was just if I was in a locker room setting where my— like, if I'm on a team and the owner of the team's coming to talk to me, I'm getting a little insecure.

Should we have been bigger babies about the final serve?

You guys should have filed a protest. You should have made a scene. You should have done something to bring—

I was right away.

You should have brought attention to that. You should have done— as owners, you should have done whatever you can possibly do to win the championship. You can't just fall to your knees, fall to your knees and be Kash Patel when there's an active, an alleged active shooter. So I fell to my knees because—

and I'm so glad I stopped you in the middle of wherever the hell you were going. I, I had a pretty good read on it. And as soon as I saw it serve, I'm like, that's so close. Like, I think we just double faulted. So I live— to me it looked like we— is there reviews? Yes, there is a review, but there's never been this situation. You can review it, but we've never had this situation where it's a championship point. So everyone, after they call the double fault, everyone gets out of the way, the trophies come out. It's a lot like— the band was on the field. Yeah, it's a lot like—

can we review this? They're celebrating.

Yeah, we took offense to actually the commissioner of the sport talking to Kay Marie, the owner of the Chargers, at one point when they were up like 5-3 in the tiebreaker set because he was already talking out logistics. So that was your yellow rope situation, and we almost, we almost had a moment there, but But we bounced up and we were like, can I see the replay? Because it was, it was pretty close. And then on the iPhone, it actually looked like it was in. And so we were trying— Chris, to his credit, was like, let's get a review. But you couldn't stop anybody. The Stripes got out of there.

The band was on the field immediately. Why wouldn't their first thought be, let's review?

Because their first thought was, here's a trophy that we have to hand out because teams are celebrating. Now we grabbed Scott through the net and you can't—

well, he had the trophy in his hand.

No, he had the trophy in his hand.

Like, picture us holding an iPhone.

I'm holding it, I'm like, Scott!

And he's looking and he's like, let me see.

He's like, Manu should have challenged it. And we're like, but he— we never saw a replay and Chris was trying to get people's attention and everybody went away. I'm like, if we tried even faster, we wouldn't have been able to do it as efficiently. Now Scott Scott, the commissioner of the sport, to his credit, said he did go back to the replay center and he gave it a look and he said that it did indeed touch the line. Do you believe him? I do, because again, like I said, my initial read on it was that it touched the line.

I thought you guys called him Slippery, uh, Savage. Eh, it's been said.

It's been said by other people. He knows what he did. I would only say that in private.

Well, I think you guys failed on a number of fronts. First of all, you've got to make a lot more noise. You got to do anything in your power as owners to bring maximum attention to that. And I also think that Chris underestimated eliminated the language barrier and the sports barrier in that no one knows what the review for basketball is in Ireland. I could be doing the cyclone signal.

I was doing the VAR box.

I was like, you gotta look at it!

But that doesn't translate. This in basketball—

It could be a cyclone signal actually, now that I think about it.

It was actually me screaming, Barba! Because Barba, the guy with the really long beard, moonlights as an official. Yeah, that's right. So I was screaming, Barba!

But that one ran away. Yeah, he did. I want to play for you guys some sound before we get to whatever was Zazz's wild weekend in Orlando. But let's listen to Halfley on the Richard Sherman podcast saying that we and others are going to regret making fun of their first-round pick.

I mean, that when he was still available for us to pick then when we picked because we moved back and got 2 extra picks and he was going to be the guy we took at 11, but we got him at 12 with 2 extra picks on top of it, which I thought was an awesome job by John Ericsson. With his size and his potential and how young he is, he's a guy that we could be looking at down the road and people are gonna say, wow, how'd that guy get drafted at 12 at a premium position with how young he is, how big he is, and how talented he is? That one I think people might look back on in a few years and try to figure out what made him fall to.

No one ever says that about a guard, dude. No one. No one ever says, man, how did they get that guard at 12? No one.

Remember that time a few years after a team made their pick, uh, the team said, you know what, in a few years from now we're, we're probably gonna be laughed at.

Even if he comes out to be the greatest guard of all time, I think you could look at it and say 12, solid. Yeah, that's a good spot for the greatest guard of all.

No, too high, too high. I would say that too high for the greatest guard of all time. Put on the poll at LeBretard Show, uh, if you can get the greatest offensive guard of all time, uh, do you have to do lower than at number 12.

I just don't believe that if you love a guy so much at 11, you're like, I love this guy so much, but I'm willing to risk it for two 5s. Love this guy a lot, but I'll take those two 5s because those two 5th rounds look good.

Well, but no, move back one spot. They knew though that it wasn't going to— they weren't risking anything. You don't know for sure.

Dallas was going to go get the best player available, which was Caleb Downs, which they did.

Well, but the Dolphins will tell you it was Caden Brockton.

But they, they knew what Dallas was trading up for. Everybody knew what Dallas was trading up for. It was viewed as the most versatile talent that there was in the entire draft that everybody was a little bit surprised fell out of the top 10.

Like, it was a blue chip, as Stephen Jones said.

There was no, there was no risk involved in them trading down one pick so that they could get the guard.

It's hilarious. The entire NFL world All the front offices, all the fans watching are open-mouthed. Can you believe Downs and Bain have both dropped so much? And only one place on the planet seemingly was that conversation being had about a different player, about Caden Proctor.

Well, there's definitely only one place it was happening about a guard. And I think we're being unfair because I don't think he's going to be a guard after 2 or 3 years. And I understand what they're saying. All those times you saw on film that somebody just ran right past him, it's just because he's young and he hasn't learned anything and he's played whatever it is, 30, 30 games. He has 39 games or something. So he's, he's just all potential. I wanted to play some sound, though. I have not gotten to talk enough about Pete Fairbanks, the kooky guy who plays for the Marlins, who used to play for the Rays. He's a reliever and he's fun and he's weird. And he's awkward, and all of this is a lot more fun and weird and awkward when he's pitching well or when he's throwing 103 miles an hour. But, uh, here he is explaining a term. I don't know if you have heard this before, Zaslo, in baseball. Have you heard this term before?

You have been dry-humped many, many times in your life. Can you please tell us what dry-humping in baseball is?

I sure can. I'd love to be of service to you and maybe add a definition to this year dictionary Eric? The dry hump is when, as a reliever, they call down and say, hey, in most cases it's tied or ahead, so-and-so's in the game. You start warming up. Obviously there's, there's degrees of it. The worst dry humps are the ones to which you then have to fire it off and be as warm as you would be to go in a game with no guarantee that you go in a game. And if you then say your team does not score the run, you sit back down and you have been dry humped.

What does it feel like to get dry humped?

Well, one dry hump usually is okay. Uh, two dry Dry humps does not feel very good. I think in my career I've been dry humped 3 times. Once, and I felt like I couldn't move my arm for about 8 hours.

Jeff Passon has a maniacal grin the entire time. He knows what he's doing. He's— yeah, he does know what he's doing. And this is the freedom of the Jeff Passon podcast outside of some of the rules of Disney.

You have been dry humped many, many times in your life.