Transcript of Skip Bayless Is BACK! | Hour 1 New

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Incredible.

He really did it.

Great performance. I am very excited for this weekend, guys. Very, very excited. We are hopping in the Zaslo-mobile this afternoon. Me and my— I got my son and a couple of his— my older son and a couple of his teenage friends, throwing them in the back seat. And me and my younger son, we're in the front seat. I'm driving, Dave. I'm not sure—

What a dad he is! Zaslo, pat yourself on the back! Let no modesty here.

This is a dad.

Now, if the Heat and/or Panthers were playing on Saturday night, I don't know if you'd still be making this trip, but either way, he's to be hailed. What a dad you are, taking that day, driving these, uh, I'm taking the older ones all over Florida, and his friends were going to Orlando today.

I'm dropping them at Rolling Loud. That's like the world's biggest hip-hop festival. All right, uh, I don't know who's performing, you know, but they're into it. My son loves rap. So they're going to Rolling Loud the whole weekend, and then tomorrow they're staying in Orlando, and me and my younger one, we're making the trek a little bit west. We're going to Tampa. WWE Backlash.

Backlash.

Very— we're gonna be sitting ringside. We'll be right there for it.

Ringside?

Hell yeah, dog!

You got that kind of juice?

Come on, son!

Did you cash those bonds?

Uh, it's funny that you say that. I have not cashed them yet. I have my wife every other week. My wife's like, when are you going to cash these? When are you going to cash these?

Wasn't the plan to have that cover your John Cena trip?

Yes, yes. Somehow I still managed to cover it. But I have those bonds, the stocks and bonds. They're right there on the counter. I have not— I just haven't gone to the bank. You got to go to the bank. When's the last time you walked into a bank?

Hmm.

That's the problem, right?

Just for an ATM.

That's the problem.

Just for an ATM.

No, but I got to go in and I got to give them the stuff. Like, that's the problem.

What a big week today, tomorrow, Saturday.

So that's right, very big week today, tomorrow. Going to WWE Backlash tomorrow.

You're gonna get in the car, you could just put your feet up in the mansion, but instead you're gonna drive, what, 3 hours?

Yeah, 3 hours today.

To Orlando.

Yeah, and it's like 90 minutes from Orlando to Tampa tomorrow.

By the way, to the people in Orlando who hit me up on social media and otherwise, I was not attempting to offend you, I was just asking questions as an outsider to your lovely state. Now, Orlando, and then you will continue your journey to Tampa.

Yeah.

Which is another 2 hours from Orlando.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

90 minutes.

Driving here, there, and everywhere, and it makes you a great dad to do that with the key detail is it's not just your boys, it's their pals.

Yeah.

Which is a handful. I also think that these are things you enjoy, right? I mean, you said you don't care about the hip-hop, and notably you're not gonna be at the hip-hop, but you do care about the WWE.

Very much.

So there's something in it for you. There's a character, Zazzlo.

Absolutely. My younger one, he comes to all the WWE shows with me. He loves it too. Yeah, so it's not a completely selfless act. No, I love it. I'm going to a thing that I love, and I love going and experiencing it with my son.

You have no— but you have Zazzlo because you're a very guy sort of guy.

I guess.

You don't have girls.

Say thank you to that.

No, I don't have any girls. I don't know. Like, I've never thought about it. If I had a girl, You don't get to be a girl dad. Yeah, all right, whatever. Like, I'm all right.

It's a very special thing.

It's an honor, actually.

Or so we're told.

I'm one of them.

Repeatedly.

Oh my God, dude, I hope we all have the T— we should have all worn our t-shirts, right? And our caps and everything to let the world know that in a 50-50 proposition— Damn, why'd they cut to Roy? In which you were a relatively passive participant in the creation of— you probably didn't do that. Well, you didn't. You didn't do— oh, well, my participation was quite powerful as usual. But, uh, we provide the surprisingly so vigorous, vigorous lovemaker. But that's not what we're talking about. Um, that— yeah, okay, so coin flip, it went one way, and now you're a hero for that? Or is it— are you the hero?

Everyone here is a girl dad except me.

Because you care about— because, because you, because you go the extra mile.

You didn't just have—

you're just bitter because you have more boys than girls.

No, no, no, no, not everybody here is a girl dad. Uh, Dave, he has a daughter, but he's not a girl dad.

I have— no, I have two boys and I have two girls.

You're saying you're not a girl dad? Rigorous love. You're just a dad.

You reject the idea of it being like something that's to be celebrated?

Well, it's a little like Chris Rock described something else, like a pretty low expectation having mother effer if that's the, uh, the big achievement in your life. That biology came up heads or tails, however you were going.

It's the best thing I've ever done, Dave.

That's a real— who were you thinking of when you wrote that? Real—

I don't know, there is something to what you're saying where, all right, like girl dad just means that you're being a good dad, right? You're being a dad.

No, no, no, no, no, you're being a dad exclusively to a girl. Which is, you know, ever since Kobe, no, no, no, no, no.

You can carve that out, Mike, if you're just doing one-on-one and you're going to your daughter, as I do, like, you know, I'll take her to ballet.

Wow. You are awesome.

You're almost great at that material.

What a hero.

I hate to pat myself on the back like this, but a couple of Saturdays ago, there was a relatively early morning performance. She plays violin in her school band, and they had a performance in downtown L.A. So I took her. No mother.

Wow.

Just me, my little girl, my angel. We went down there and I watched her play the violin. And then afterwards we got some food together. Hero. Proud girl dad.

Where'd you go? The pantry?

I think we were able to emotionally connect with the girl.

We talked about— I mean, I'm sitting there And I'm like, can you imagine 20-year-old Dave talking to this girl about the things she was interested in? I mean, I was— I love being a girl dad.

You might be a girl dad.

Can I tell you, like, so I don't have any daughters. I have two boys, which the Zaslows, like, that's not a surprise because the Zaslows have not produced a female in over 100 years.

That sounds—

that's true.

Explain what you mean by this, because what you just said cannot be— not a cousin, in fact true.

It's a weird— well, nope, not an uncle, because that would be an aunt. Yeah, it is a— it's, it's a weird thing. We don't produce females. There has not been a female Zaslow in over 100 years. Impossible on our family tree. That we don't have females, we don't produce females. Yeah, like my, I have an aunt, my Aunt Blanche, we don't make Blanches anymore.

104 years of age.

Well no, she died a while ago, but she was born.

Feel good, Dave?

She was born early last cent, like in the 19, maybe like 1915.

Oh, like Nellie Doogie.

So she was the last female Zaslik. It's been over, so it's been like around 110 years. It's been over 100 years. Since we produced a female. Why is that hard to believe?

Did that make you want to have another kid just to give another crack at it?

No, I don't care. No, I kind of hope my cousins—

No, he prefers it this way.

Because my cousins are an age where they're having kids. I kind of hope one of them has a girl, but right now we've struck out because one of my cousins, he's already had two boys. Like, again, we only do boys.

It's like flipping a coin and coming up heads every single time.

That's exactly right. And I legitimately think that I would— were I you or someone in your family, I might go to a doctor, to an OB-GYN or whoever studies such things, and say, is something wrong with my sperm, with my family's sperm?

I figured it out. The Zaslows are missionary men.

Uh, that's not true because there is a specific way to make sure that you have males, and it's not that way.

Oh wow, you've looked this up.

Yeah, we, yeah, we know this. It's not like that.

Oh, a family secret handed down through the generations. Whatever, I don't want to be— Jonathan, one day when you are ready to sire Make sure you do it doggy style.

Give us the tools of the trade.

I don't want to be crude, but there is a way to do it.

I'm telling you, if doggy style was the way, we'd have all boys.

Well, in my family, that's the way.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that's somehow—

Wow.

Amidst this entire conversation— You don't want to look your wife in the eye. Somehow Chris Cody—

That's somehow worse than anything you've said.

I had a girl!

I switch it up.

All right. Zaslo style.

It's been over 100 years.

What is— but okay. What are— how many at-bats have there been that have yielded a batting average of zero?

Okay, I told you.

The Zaslo clan for a century.

Okay, I told you my aunt, this is over 100 years ago, 1915, something like that. Her brother is my grandfather. He had two boys, my father and my uncle. My uncle had two boys. My father had two boys, one of them me. I had two boys. My cousin, my uncle's son, had two boys. And here we are. It's been over 100 years.

Those bar mitzvahs must be the worst, the worst sausage parties of all time. I mean, geez Louise.

Well, like the family members, we marry women. And so there are women there.

It's not an entire party of men.

You ever seen the SNL of the Sandler party? That's how I imagine the Zaslav party.

Yeah! Paul with backwards hat. Awesome.

Awesome to see you.

Awesome.

Yeah, we haven't had at girl in over 100 years.

You know about that missionary?

I don't.

I don't even know how to go.

That's how it's done.

What's the spread?

Thai food.

In unison. Thai food.

This is bizarre, and I think there may be a sneaky medical problem that you're— I don't know if it's a problem.

There's no problem.

Oh, so you don't like girls. So I guess he— good thing he isn't a girl dad. He isn't equipped to handle it, apparently.

Two things we know: they're all boys and they're all cucks.

Yep, that's right.

How dare I told you about the entire bloodline.

There's something weird about, like, the Zaslav clan needs to get with Chris Cody's wife's clan.

All right, we can just move on.

Bunch of clone girls. To go along with the Zazzle men.

Cyclones! Go clones!

Look at this.

It'll be quite a day when that streak is broken. Like I said, over 100 years.

I just, I, I just, I feel sad for you ultimately, Zazzle. What happened? Well, you just, you don't know what it is. You don't know the joy.

But I'm doing okay.

I know, but you don't know what it is to be a hero, man.

I'm actually awesome.

To be a hero, really.

You know, to look in the mirror sometimes and go like, what?

To be able to connect with one of those.

This life, I never saw being a girl dad as a part of it, but here we are.

I mean, choral recitals, India.

Can you believe I—

the thing is, yeah, I have a couple of girls. You know what else? I care about them.

Wow.

Can I say it again? Hero.

Oh my God.

Hero.

Yeah.

I wish them well and I enjoy their activities.

The other night I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on.

I say, yeah.

I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I, I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around and you think, yeah, This was the right move. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975, and it still hits different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere. They sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Don't let the card—

doesn't matter anywhere, we could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore, either. They say you could do it where? Anywhere. Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. He said he could do it anywhere. That's crazy, murder. Murda, tell them.

Stugatz.

I had no idea Mean had that in his locker.

That might be his best.

That's crazy.

I'm not kidding. That's crazy, Killer. It's two Americas, Dad. You don't get it.

This is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz. So last night— so last night, James Harden, 3 of 13, 0 for 4 from 3, 10 points, 3 assists, 4 turnovers. Another playoff performance with more turnovers than field goals made and assists in this case. And the Cavaliers, they go down 0-2 losing 107-97 to Detroit. I— like, it's obviously a pathetic performance from James Harden. The turnovers are really weird. It's a lot of dribbling. It's a lot of dribbling in front of the defender. The defender just swipes the ball away. Brutal turnover. What was it, a 2-possession game? 5 or 6 points with like 50 seconds left, and he just essentially hands the ball to Asar Thompson, and the game ends in that spot. Uh, he's like, he's awful in the playoffs. And, and I almost, you know, there— he's had his playoff struggles throughout his career, but correct me if I'm wrong, I almost feel like, because we know the regular season is one kind of game and the postseason is another kind of game, and it's almost as if the current age that he's at, the playoff style and playing against, not only playing against teams that are good defensively every single night, but also officials officiate the game differently in the postseason.

This is not a style of play that he could succeed in anymore.

This reminds me a little bit of Clayton Kershaw, where there's almost like the self-fulfilling prophecy of everyone had this reputation for you, whether it was right or not in your prime. And then as you age, you only have less and less success come the postseason. And so in turn, people are reinforcing the idea they have about you. But James Harden is a historic playoff dropper. Like, we talk about playoff risers and playoff droppers. His stats in the postseason, I mean, he's constantly setting records for the worst postseason performances. There are stats all over the internet last night about all of these things that he has continued to do to be terrible. Namely, he's being outplayed by Duncan Robinson in this playoff series.

I can't help but think about the Zaslo family reunion looking like a Minions scene from the Minions somehow. So we're over Um, you know, I, I feel like it's at least why we were talking about the optimism of a sports fan, that it's nice to have a young draft pick and you might be willing to give up a known entity in order to get it because of the promise of the future unseen. That's more defensible in my book, um, than going out and getting James Harden. And we talked about this— isn't 20/20 hindsight? We talked about it when James Harden got— when the Cavs got him. What do you think?

Well, what do you think?

This is exactly right. Clayton Kershaw, Aaron Rodgers, these guys want to control their legacy. You know how big-time athletes love to talk about, um, I don't care, legacy talk is for you media people, we don't care about that, we're, we're in the battles. No, no, you care about your legacy. You just want to control it and write it no matter what the actual Facts are, it must be vexing to be James Harden, Aaron Rodgers, Clayton Kershaw, all-time greats, but also you don't get it done when it counts. And they wish that that weren't true, and they get angry when you mention it, and they get a chip on the shoulder. But facts are facts. Why did you think James Harden— I remember, I could swear, Amin, you were defending this move that, oh no, James, they gave up Darius Garland.

Everybody was—

maybe I'm— I don't want to put that on you, but people were defending.

I like to trade full—

people were arguing with me in studio when that happened. Oh no, this is an upgrade. This puts him in a better spot for the— yeah, based on what? Based on— I, I've seen James Harden's playoff performances his whole career.

I think based on Darius Garland's hurt all the time, right? And, and we saw what Darius Garland was towards the end of the year. He was good. He wasn't as good as James Harden. The reality is they are where they are in part because of how Harden has played. And also there is an end of the road to this where you played against a better team. And I, I think what, uh, Jeremy did as far as that comp to Clayton Kershaw, I 100% agree because I think Harden is a guy who has had big games. So we talked about this when the Celtics just blew that 3-1 lead, right? The last time the Celtics and the, uh, Sixers played was a couple years ago. Harden was still a Sixer. That was a 7-game series. Embiid missed a bunch of time in that series. Harden had like a 40-point game in either Game 5 or Game 6. Like, he had big game in that series, they lose, and everyone's like, it's Harden's fault because he's a choker. I'm like, wait a second, all the excuses about, uh, Tatum being hurt and all that, where were those same people, same voices a couple years ago?

Fair or not, when you're the common factor in flameouts in the postseason, AKA when the games really matter and people want to talk their way around that, that is what we're watching the games for. If you don't come through in the big spots, that is how you are going to be remembered.

No, look, He had a— like, look, these two games have been really bad games. Really, really bad games, right? But again, the idea that like, I knew we should have kept Garland, like, that doesn't make sense either.

I, I liked the trade when it happened, but here's the thing: he has a player option next season at $42 million. If he decides to opt out and leaves for nothing, or he pulls the move where he opts in Okay, you're not going to give me the new contract, then I'm demanding a trade, which is exactly how it ended in Philadelphia. Like, if you're Cleveland and you don't keep him now— again, Garland is never healthy, all right? I liked the trade, but if you wind up losing him now, that's a dis— like that, because, because how can you pay him based on what's happening? If they flame out in this series and Harden's absolutely awful, you're giving him 3 years, $120 million?

Now we gotta keep— now we gotta keep poor Moose closed. That's basically that. What choice do we have now? We got to do it, right?

Like, it's a total disaster.

I mean, look, they traded Garland, who they wanted to get off of, in a second-round pick to get Harden. It was a dart throw. If, if he leaves in free agency, maybe that's something that they wanted from the beginning. Maybe, or maybe it was, hey, if it works, we'll have him for the one year and we'll figure it out. The idea was this, this would help alleviate some pressure on Donovan Mitchell, who hasn't been spectacular in the playoffs. He struggled in Game 1.

I mean, he's still finding a way. Like, he didn't shoot well last night, but he's still finding a way.

Of course, there's a huge difference between the playoff performances of those two guys. I'm not trying to say that they're even anywhere near the same. What Harden has done has been really, really bad. And the reason they acquired him was to open things up for Mitchell. It was worth the dart throw. Everything we were all saying from the jump, was realistic. The, the problem was, is they rattled off a few wins in those first few games, and so people started to go, oh my God, can they win the East? Are they gonna be this great dominant team?

Are they the best in their last 6? Since going up 2-0, they really struggled.

They've really struggled. And, and, and what Harden is doing is, is historically bad because it only adds to continued historic struggles in the playoffs. You compare it to Rodgers and Kershaw, at least Rodgers won a Super Bowl. Kershaw's won a World Series. He was a huge part of, of making runs earlier. Harden has been nowhere near it.

Well, it's also based on, um, expectation. You know, we talked to Michelle Beatle, diehard Spurs fan, and asked her a couple of days ago, how many titles will be satiating for you as a Spurs fan in the Wembley era? And she said 4. And I think that's fair. And if you're Aaron Rodgers or Clayton Kershaw or James Harden, you have to win more than what they have respectively won. Who are the Hall of Fame level losers? Who are the— who— what is the highest rated among the Hall of Famer, future Hall of Famers, or even the ones that are already in the Hall?

Singular athletes? Because everyone always mentions the Buffalo Bills. You don't want to become the Buffalo Bills.

No, singular athletes.

Barkley, Marino, Mike Trout.

No, but hold on a second. Like, are you asking here who— like, who is Who is the worst playoff performer relative to their overall stats?

Well, how about— yeah, how about in fact who is in line to replace? Charles Barkley is the answer. Dan Marino is the—

no, he's not, because both of those guys were incredible in their postseason careers. They just didn't win one. That's a different conversation we're having. So that's a different conversation. If you say who's the—

you're trying to have a different—

no, you're trying to have it. You're not understanding.

No, you say it.

You say it back and then say it.

Wait, I I fell asleep.

Well, if you say it back, we can replicate First Take in a couple of minutes.

Chris Paul's the guy, right?

I mean, Chris Paul would be the name.

What about Lamar Jackson?

Lamar Jackson? Yeah, like, I think that's right. I think the big thing for me is like, we're talking, we're talking about this is a Harden-inspired conversation. Yeah, we're talking about people, not the 'and they've never won.' It's, 'Oh, you play bad when the— when nut cutting time occurs,' right?

Barkley was never playing.

Barkley was amazing in the playoffs. He was amazing in the playoffs.

I will listen for the, the Draymond conversation, and we had it yesterday and everybody else has had it. Charles Barkley versus Draymond Green. I, I mean, I mean, you would remember this. I don't know that anybody else would. '93, that Phoenix Suns team was one of the single best teams I've seen. Somehow they didn't win the title. Well, because they met Michael Jordan and company, and you could really make a case that if Paxson doesn't hit that shot in Game 6, that Maybe he goes to 7 and maybe they lose.

Yeah, right.

Um, that doesn't change the fact that whether you think it's fair or not, these, these smaller moments, the, the, the smaller sample size is everything. And when we look back and evaluate the— when you're, you're not talking about Hall of Famer, you're talking about the best of all time. Charles Barkley doesn't make that list because he never won a title. Okay, Dan Marino, it falls away in any conversation of best quarterback ever because Ultimately, you have to get to the point of like, well, he never did win a Super Bowl and he didn't perform very well in the playoffs, to your point. So Marino is that. I think Mike Ryan though, that's what fascinates me about the NFL conversation. Aaron Rodgers is one of the great losers for top 5 quarterback of all time. I mean, he hasn't been to a Super Bowl in 15 years, which is why it's pretty funny that the Steelers are like, you know what our path to the Super Bowl is? A guy who hasn't been to a Super Bowl since we have. A decade and a half.

Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm old enough to remember prior to Elway winning in the '90s that the conversation of greatest quarterback of all time was Joe Montana, and then it's like number 2 on that list is Dan Marino. That's how people were talking in the '90s. Like, Dan Marino, despite not having been back to the Super Bowl after that one time in the '80s, oh, he's still like the best. The only reason why Montana's better is because he's won the Super Bowls.

But it gets asterisked. That is the ultimate sports radio, sports radio conversation. Of course it matters if you win the title.

But my, my point is these conversations have shifted and changed over time, right? Where to where you're like, damn, Marino's not even the conversation anymore. But like 30 years ago, the conversation in the same way that 30 years ago, the '90s, you walked around and you ask anybody who is the greatest power forward to play in the NBA, in NBA history in the '90s. And if you asked in the '90s, Karl Malone. It was a split camp. Half the people said Carmelo, half the people said Barkley.

That's right.

And the fact that neither of them won a title was not— it was totally irrelevant.

Because their careers were still active and there was still the possibility, same as Lamar Jackson. People will tell you because they like to express some faux level of empathy, they'll say, oh, at the end of every Bills season or Ravens season, no reason to hang your head. Lamar's gonna get his, Josh Allen's gonna get his, don't worry. They'll eventually win. Will they? They're now both 30 years old. I don't think either one— I think there's a decent chance— I think it's more likely that neither guy ever wins a Lombardi at this point.

It's always more likely that they're not going to win because it's hard to win. It's hard to win. And that's why we're able to accept and appreciate greatness despite the lack of certain accolades. When people were having that conversation about Malone versus Barkley, they were 13, 14 years into their careers. It wasn't like, oh, he might still do it. It was like Yeah, like, it's probably not gonna happen. And then, you know, but we— it didn't change the conversation. Malone finally goes to the Finals '97 and '98. That's again 13, 14, 15 years into his career. But at no point in that conversation was there someone who said, well, it's not Barkley, it's not Malone, it's this other guy because he won a ring. We didn't have that conversation. It wasn't in the lexicon. I mean, it wasn't in the lexicon, Damashek.

The idea that Jimmy Olsen's fault at the end of the climactic third act is a crazy thing. Hey, Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane saved the day. Like, hey, no, no, no, Superman, you're supposed to do it in the big spot. You didn't do it, man.

Dan Lebatard. Can I tell you something? I don't know, it was maybe like a month ago and I decided to watch Pitch Clock and I told Jeremy Stugatz, this is a good show you're doing. This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

Dave, you're playing hot tub, hot tub time machine right now, and you're applying modern-day conversation tactics to things that were happening back then. You're saying, oh, this idea that it's Jimmy Olsen's fault. No, no one was ever even saying it was so-and-so's fault. It was just, hey, these guys are great, but they never won. So what?

They're still great because we're in it now. Lamar Jackson, this shit, it's starting to happen though. It has happened over the last couple of years and it's going to intensify. On Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. With each passing postseason ending without a Lombardi, it gets a little bit hotter, but there is still sort of the— is this going to be the year? Okay, now they have— they, they finally got rid of McDermott and new— this should be Josh Allen's year. If they don't do it this year, it's going to get even worse. And when the— only when it ends is it like, wow, Dan Marino really never won a Lombardi. The guy who was in the conversation for best quarterback ever didn't win a Super Bowl. Well, now he's out of that conversation. That's how it goes.

Because the way we talk about things have changed. That's my whole point.

No, titles always—

No, it didn't. What are you talking about?

Titles always matter.

No, it didn't. No, it didn't. In 1998, if you asked someone who's the greatest player in basketball history, what would the answer be? In 1998? Michael Jordan. Who? Michael Jordan, right? What about 1993?

Magic, Bird, Bill Russell.

No, '93, people were still saying Michael Jordan in '93.

Yeah.

After the 3-peat.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so he's been winning titles.

But Magic had 5 and Bill Russell had 11. It's this idea that the ring counter, that's where it is, that's where the end-all be-all of every conversation. This is a modern invention. This is a modern invention, Dave.

No, that's a rhetorical argument you're making.

It's not, I lived it.

No, but, but the jive is that once you get into being— it's not a fluke that you won one title. This guy's been the best player on the championship-winning team more than once and all of that. Um, that becomes— everybody's going crazy back there.

Well, Mike is so happy right now. Let me explain what's going on.

I don't know why he's going crazy here. Mike is so happy right now.

Pull back the curtain.

Today's the day. All right, Skip Bayless is back. Skip Bayless, after being away, I believe, 10 years. Skip Bayless is back on ESPN television, split-screening, debating on First Take with Stephen A. Smith. And Mike, Mike Ryan, just told me— now, it's not as if they have the volume on in there, it's just on the screen on mute like it is in here for us, Dave— but Mike whispers in my ear, still got it.

Do you know what he came out the gates with? Skip colon Lakers are better without Luka.

Ah, I'm telling you guys, the moment he knew he would be on, he's like, he's telling me start scripting top tier S-class type stuff. I can't come with some lukewarm, oh, is Dan Marino the biggest loser of all time?

Whatever.

Like, no, I gotta come with some heat. Take some notes, Dan. That's how you do it.

He's called Luka the most inefficient player in the NBA.

What data do you have to back that up?

That's, that's not right.

What does the majority think? Oh, then what? Then I'm going to defend the minority. I'm going to come up with a cockamamie reason to dig in and defend the minority opinion on everything. And as a result, I'll get credit for making you think.

Dave hates it.

You got to understand what he's doing here by saying—

masterclass.

This is, this is incredible because you know already what his angle is. It's like, I'm not going to let you let LeBron off the hook if he loses this series because they are better without Luka. I am raising the expectations and the bar for the Luka-less LA Lakers. Therefore, I can really give it to Bron.

You see how he's doing it? This is the tactic, right? It's like, how do I make it so it's LeBron's fault, right? If we allow that Luka's great and the Lakers are better with Luka, then it's not LeBron's fault if they lose. But if we say that Luka's overrated, inefficient, and they're actually better without him, now when they lose to the Thunder handily, it is LeBron's fault. It's like when he said Bronny more clutch than his father.

All right, he's way wealthier than I am, so I'm not going to argue about his approach versus my approach, but it's cockamamie jive that he's slinging. Um, I mean, LeBron is to do the cross-sports comp is John Elway. He is admirable for getting those bum rosters with the Cavs that he was on early in his career to the Finals. They had no business playing for titles except that LeBron dragged them there. Same way with John Elway. It's not winning those two Lombardis at the tail end of his career— owed more to Terrell Davis obviously than John Elway's play— it was Elway dragging 3 Broncos teams, and at least the first 2 that you look at in the '80s, those rosters are garbage, or at best, yeah, hot mediocrity. And he took them to Super Bowls in the age of Marino and otherwise. Those are their greatest deeds. It doesn't change the fact— talk about living in the world in which, as it exists versus the one you want— everybody reacts to the titles. The enduring legends are the ones who win the titles. That's how it goes. You can argue with me about that, but that's— you're digging in on nonsense then.

Of course, the guys who win all the titles are the ones who we celebrate most 25 years after the fact.

You're changing. You're changing.

No, I'm not.

You're changing the point. You're changing the base.

You guys are losing the plot here.

Skip still got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're asking right now, would Luka on the floor make a difference in this series? And I have the captions now. Thank you, tech team. No, because I have just laid out the argument. That Luka's the most inefficient player in the NBA and the Lakers are playing much better.

I never thought I would do this, but guys, go on, we need to give Skip Bayless a toast.

Oh wow. Yeah, wow.

Presented by Cuervo.

Just—

I didn't know you still had it, sir.

Still got it.

It's on me, not on you. Yeah, you're fantastic. Worth the toast. Keep it, keep it Cuervo. Thank you, Skip Bayless. I mean, just—

yeah.

I love it.

He's still doing the thing where he like points. He's like poking the desk. Oh yeah, like moving forward.

Never lost a debate. Oh, never lost.

I didn't think I missed him, but I miss him.

Here's to you.

I'll tell you, this— I, I would imagine that this show, First Take, today will do a pretty big number compared to what they've been getting. I mean, how do you not then have a conversation about bringing Skip Bayless back like regularly, right?

Amen. Amen.

Yes.

Right.

You're 100%.

You call this a tryout today, essentially?

Oh, he knows what's on the line.

I think Skip Bayless probably views it as a tryout.

Yeah.

And he's got his good stuff. They showed him walking in and preparing. He knows what he's playing.

The hits.

Does he get the football or—

You know, you know, it's go time when Stephen A does his shoulder shrug to move his— to move his shirt, his suit jacket.

Show me.

He does, he does this a lot. The question— yeah, he does a lot of this thing too. I don't, I don't know what the move is exactly.

I like the eye roll.

Saying the little jolt forward.

I like the eye roll.

I am—

let me tell you something.

I'm curious how Stephen A will play this though, as we can't really hear what he's saying. Do you think he'll throw at him at any point, okay, we get it, you're trying to make a splash, like, or will he just stick to the topic?

Stephen A, you want to like—

will he call him out for being like, I get what you're— you get one day here, you're trying to do a thing? Because that's what I would call it.

No, no, no.

This was very much his idea. Skip Bayless does not get on the air without Stephen A. wanting him to have this opportunity to show the execs that he's still got it.

I like it.

I don't know if you read the trades, but there's a little management shakeup happening over at ESPN. So let me show you what this man is capable of.

I like it.

How jealous do you think Mad Dog is right now watching this?

Oh, he's got Wednesdays.

Yeah, but, but he's just—

he sees what could happen from this.

Mike, I'd like to see you. I could see you elevating to a role like this. You've got that kind of gravitas. The only concern I have is, can you make the serious sports gravitas face that's required? Because you see, when they're in their listening phase, it's very serious business. Let's see if you can affect that.

Well, here's the hack to it. Let me be very, very clear.

Goosebumps.

Very, very clear. Let me be very, very clear.

Listening face like this, I think, like, the most important thing in the world.

Gotta have a little nod to it too, like a little bit of— because you're, you're still kind of acknowledging.

Yeah, not that face.

Unless—

unless you got to work on it. I can't do it. No, I ain't got it.

And occasionally— and this is from mainly watching Shannon Sharpe— is you have to go, hmm, someone else makes a point.

Yeah.

Does it more on his— on Club Shay Shay than he did on Undisputed.

I think Zaslo's backwards hat would bring an element of excitement.

Can you imagine that? Look, I work at ESPN. Maybe they call me in one day over the summer, do First Take, wear the hat and everything.

Would you wear the hat?

I'd try.

Would you wear a suit?

I don't know.

They don't fit.

We established this.

Yeah.

I mean, I saw— I saw the kid Miro on yesterday or today's— you're not wearing a suit. He's in there with a hat and everything. Why can't I?

That's his brand.

This is my look.

That's his brand.

This is my brand.

I'm telling you, Mad Dog is rooting for today to go poorly.

Mad Dog, you don't want it to go well today. Yes, today for Mad Dog would be amazing.

I'm just saying though, he wants to be the old guy on that show.

Guys, guys, let me take you inside the mind of Stephen A. Smith. The whole idea is to populate different days of the week with his rogue gallery of rogues, right? It's like Wednesdays are Mad Dog.

His rogue wife.

Fridays or Skip Bayless, right? He'll get some other people throughout the week. And now he's the one calling the shots because ultimately First Take is about Stephen A.

It's not about— executive producer of the show.

Yeah, I mean, that Mad Dog is on because of Stephen A. Yeah.

Zazz, here's another important element. If you're Skip or most of these guys, ask me A or B.

A.

No, ask him.

You want me to ask?

Trying to help.

Do you— what, what are you asking me?

A or B?

Oh, you need to precede it with that. Yeah, I'm real— you just hit me, you just hit me with something I've never thought about before, and that's heavy, bro.

What other rogue whites could he fill in the rest of the week with if he has Wednesdays with Mad Dog?

Rogue whites?

Rogue whites.

Will Cain.

Oh, that's a good one.

Will Cain.

Oh, Will Cain.

Who else?

We need someone who's like a real—

Dan would be terrible.

No, yeah, you can't have anyone.

I got one that I'm surprised hasn't happened yet.

Who's that?

Uh, Roy, you're getting warm. Yeah, Hannity, Tucker Carlson. I think Tucker should make his way there.

What about, what about Daddy Trump?

What's going on?

But they would talk about sports.

What are we doing?

What are we— what are we doing? The great move that he uses, that Pete Hegseth uses, is to start to laugh. And there's something intimidating about people laughing while you're attempting a serious point. Bullies understand that. What do you think? You think that? That's what you think?

I think I do that.

I don't know. The Lakers are better without Luka. And that should scare you.

Yeah. Am I saying that Luka isn't a great player? Of course not. A lot of self-interviewing happens. Why would I?

That would be wrong.

Dave Portnoy.

The other night I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on.

I say, yeah.

I grab a pack of Miller Lite. and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying, nobody's watching just one thing, and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around, and you think, "Yeah, this was the right move." That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy, to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975, and it still hits different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.