Transcript of Is Michael Biehn The WORST ACTOR OF ALL-TIME? | Hour 1 New

This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by firefighters. I mean DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

So I'm very excited for this weekend, Dave Dameshek. I am, uh, I'm going to Orlando and Tampa because I have to take my older son and his friends to Rolling Loud. All right, which is at Camping World Stadium.

Are you going to be at Rolling Loud?

No, it's like the biggest hip-hop festival, right?

It's a massive hip-hop festival concert that happens sometimes down here.

It used to be down here.

No, it's— they can't— they moved it. Yeah. By the way, what's the Loud stand? Is that like because the music is really loud?

Probably.

Okay. And you're rolling because we're all rolling to Orlando for the Loud concert.

So I got to take my son and his friends. I'm dropping them off. They're doing Rolling Loud the entire weekend in Orlando. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. My son loves rap music, all right? And Arab Fighters. Oh, loves the Arab Fighters.

Big one today for the Arab Fighters on Saturday.

Is that right?

Yeah.

So I'm dropping them off there, and me and my other son—

big one today on Saturday. Big one, comma, Saturday.

My younger son and I are going to Tampa for WWE this weekend. This Saturday night we're going to WWE pay-per-view, all right? Backlash. Backlash. So Backlash. So I'm very excited for this weekend, but I don't know if I'm as excited as Mike Ryan is for this weekend.

I mean, it's a big day tomorrow.

Well, tonight. I mean, it's out tonight.

Tonight is a big day. Tonight is a big day for Saturday and Friday. No, no, tonight. I'm making fun of you, pal. I'm not listening. I'm looking at the ruling loud. Uh, NBA Youngboy. Yeah, you a big Playboi Carti guy?

My son loves Playboi Carti. Remember I came in here wearing a Playboi Carti shirt after the concert.

Yeah.

Uh, Zazz, today is Mortal Kombat 2 night. Mm-hmm.

Yep.

And got the 4DX seats. Gonna take the white shirt red wine challenge and see if I can keep that white shirt clean the entire time. And I feel bad for whoever's sitting behind me because I'm gonna be wearing the Raiden hat too. Mortal Kombat! I am so pumped for for this movie. I have watched all the Mortal Kombat movies, skipped over Annihilation because I actually did an episode of Cinephobe on Annihilation.

How many are there?

Like live-action films? Yeah, this would be the fourth.

Why is this one called Mortal Kombat 2 then?

Because it's the sequel to the 2021 Mortal Kombat, which, uh, they rebooted— was a reboot of the franchise.

I see.

Did you know that the first ever platinum dance record was Sub-Zero, the Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

Johnny Cage.

Kano.

See, a week ago we have apparently replaced the hero from the first film.

Oh good, that's a good start.

Yeah, because Cole Young sucked.

Who's gonna be the villain? Is it still Shang Tsung?

Shang Tsung is still there. Okay, but Shao Kahn appears to be like the big heavy in this one, and that follows proper Mortal Kombat lore. Was that a spoiler you just gave with the main character thing? No, no, no, no, no. He's in the trailer. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I—

But in this one, Johnny Cage is the star.

Johnny Cage.

Have you seen the reviews for this thing?

No.

People like it.

You want me to look on Rotten Tomatoes?

IGN score is 8, which is great.

I don't care about that.

Last Rotten Tomatoes I saw was 70%. I saw a clip that they put out.

Media or audience?

70% media. Okay.

The audience score is going to be like 98% or something like that.

Yeah.

There's no audience score yet for Mortal Kombat 2 because it's just coming out tonight. But the media score is. 73%, which I would say for a movie like this is very high.

Strong.

This should have came out last week. We should have had Combat Wars Prada or something. Devil Wears Combat.

Oh, like Barbenheimer?

Yeah, where, where the, you know, the husband and wives, they just split up and the boys watch Mortal Kombat and Zaz can go follow his wife and watch Devil Wears Prada too.

Can I just—

I feel like—

I'm not embarrassed, okay? You could say it as many times you want.

I wouldn't be embarrassed either. Look, I like Devil Wears Prada. In fact, if there were an incarnation where Miranda Priestly was a DLC for a Mortal Kombat video game, she'd be deadly.

What about Devil Wears Nada?

I like part 2 better.

Did they make a sequel?

Did you see the clip that they put out? They, they put out basically like a 4-minute chunk of a fight, of a fight scene between Liu Kang and Kung Lao. Now if you remember in the first film, Kung Lao dies.

How's he alive?

Quan Chi. Quan Chi is a character in Mortal Kombat 2 and And what Quan Chi does is he raises people from the dead. So—

Like Pet Sematary style?

But now they're evil. And you can tell—

Right, that's Pet Sematary.

Yeah, yeah. You can tell Kung Lao is evil because he's got like a little black stuff around his eye. And so like he's fighting—

So you're going with the whole crew tonight?

Yeah, like 8 of us. We got the movable chairs. I'll hold on to my Raiden hat and we're gonna have a great time.

I'm telling you, I almost fell off, all right, the one time I went.

I don't know why you guys like this, man.

I wanna feel every punch.

I don't want— my moviegoing experience to have to involve other senses than my eyes and my ears. I don't need wind. I don't need rain coming down on me.

I know what I'm getting into. We talked this out. Rain is not in this movie. Maybe Mortal Kombat 3.

I'm not trying to shake while I'm eating my popcorn and Buncha Crunch.

What about fire? Will there be fire?

Fire is not a character. Smoke?

No, but coming out of the seats, will there be fire?

There's sometimes like mist.

Is it because you're a Pulitzer winner now, Amin, that you're too classy to experience emotions and other senses beyond what you're looking at? What is it? You're too dignified to be rained on? What are you talking about? What is the bad side? Explain to me the negative of what if your moviegoing experience also involved delicious smells along the way? I mean, of course that would be better. That's an upgrade.

Well, Mr. Damashek, in my esteemed opinion, my humble esteemed opinion, I would say that the moviegoing experience was created years ago to engage the intellectual portions of our brain, meaning that we are perceiving what we see and what we hear, and from there let our synapses make those connections. When you start to involve the more base feelings of temperature, oh, it's cold, it's hot, and moisture, oh, something spit on me, or maybe that's just the theater, now you're just distracting from the real artistry that's happening over there. Says who? Says a Pulitzer Prize winner.

Well, I hope someone's spine gets ripped out.

Are these— I know the movie industry is in jeopardy, and that's why they should do everything they can to do things like this, forward-thinking. $27 to create, uh, yes, to create different senses and everything else and heighten the experience. Summertime used to be the summer movie season, the blockbuster.

It starts in May.

Right, it would start like late April, early May. Is this it? Is this what Hollywood has? This isn't the best that we're gonna get in summer?

No, Spider-Man's coming out soon, right?

Oh, okay, okay, I'm not clear. I'm not—

Are you talking about Devil Wears Prada 2?

I'm just saying, if Devil Wears Prada 2 and Mortal Kombat 2 are the two big hopes for Hollywood, consider me underwhelmed.

Really? I feel like that's delivering.

So the way this works, uh, let me explain Hollywood to you, Mr. Damashek. Typically, April, late April, early May signifies the start of blockbuster season, but the biggest blockbusters do not come at the front end. These are kind of the appetizers to get people ready for a summer of going to the movies, because that's the place where it's nice and air-conditioned.

June, and like, and then I know also like the big end of the release schedule is July 4th-ish weekend. That's about— well, through July and August, the, the big swings that didn't hit according to the execs are shelved and pushed to August and beyond. But Will Smith always made his hay in the '90s on July 4th.

July 4th weekend is the pinnacle.

And what's coming out?

I don't know.

Yeah, but then Marvel changed the math and then Marvel, the big tentpole Marvel, would come out in May. And now they're doing— we'll see, everyone's sticking to their guns— Dunesday.

Dunesday is going to be a December release, and that's—

that's the same weekend as Dune.

That's why I said Dunesday.

I, I didn't pick up on his enunciation. Maybe, uh, some elocution classes for you, Mr. Ryan.

So wait, Spider-Man?

That's it?

That's all we have left? I've got, I've got a list here of the movies that are, are coming out over the next few weeks through the rest of the summer. Okay, Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu.

Okay, that's excellent.

May 22nd.

Excellent.

Then you'll have I Love Boosters, The Breadwinner.

I love Boosters.

That's what the girl from, uh, One Battle After Another.

Masters of the Universe, June 5th.

Oh, E-Man. Scary Movie.

Fat White Face.

Uh, oh, then Disclosure Day, which is the Spielberg. That's right, that's June 12th. That's gonna be a big deal.

Wait till you see Spielberg's marketing budget when we have actual aliens invading.

The following weekend you'll have Toy Story 5. Big, which is a big deal.

You know who the, you know who the villain is in Toy Story 5?

No.

The iPad.

Great. Tablet time. Ooh, wow. All right, everyone. Yeah, that's beautiful. I'm looking at Amin's arms.

Goosebumps for real. That's a, that's a great storyline. Yeah.

Jackass best and last. I can't wait.

I'm in on that. Last, they have, uh, in the trailer a robot's going up someone's butt.

Dave, you're off base. This is a great summer schedule.

I, uh, Odyssey?

Oh yeah, how do you not? There's a lot of commercials every single day.

What wants? Go on.

Can we get a new graphic designer for Christopher Nolan?

No.

You'll have Spider-Man at the end of July, and then of course at the beginning of August, Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie. I've had it with the Spider-Man storyline about like, ah, he has to give up so much personally to save the world. All right, we've been down that road already. I would— I do stand corrected when I'm wrong. I say I'm wrong, like Jerry Orbach at the end of Dirty Dancing.

No, he wasn't wrong.

That's a, that's a great, um, lineup of movies. I think I still would rather see a documentary of Chris Cody v. the Firefighter. There we go. Athletic. In November you're getting a new Cat in the Hat and a new Hunger Games. That Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping gonna be incredible.

That's late November, right?

Late November.

Trying to build off that Christmas crowd. That's what we're building towards. That's also award season.

That's Bill Hader playing Cat in the Hat, correct?

Yeah, that's right.

Baraka is in this one and he fights Johnny Cage. Oh From the, uh, the trailer.

I won't watch it. I'll be right back.

I want to— you know what, I think I want to rewatch the Mortal Kombat movies before, because I am going to see this one, of course.

The 2021? I can catch you up.

No, I'd like to see that one again, and I don't remember the original ones at all. I just saw them.

Shang Tsung is a bad guy in both '95 and 2021. In 2021, we don't actually get into Mortal Kombat. Shang Tsung is just cheating, skirting the rules, trying to kill all the would-be competitors in Mortal Kombat.

So are we going to have Mortal Kombat?

Earthrealm has lost 9 consecutive Mortal Kombat.

Bad streak.

And if you lose a 10th, that means Shao Kahn can invade Earthrealm.

Oh, I'd rather hear about Zazzlo's dreams.

Wait, you never went to the arcade, popped a couple quarters in and, uh, and hit a toasty? I'm older than you, Mike.

I was playing—

I— you were in like college and I was playing Karate Champ.

Point! Galaga guy? Half point. No, Galaga was when I was in adolescence.

Ronnie Champ was a good game.

You didn't do Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat around the summer of '94? What are you doing?

Well, and it was also— I was playing a lot of NHL '94 is what I was playing around then.

Okay, but I mean Mortal Kombat was a sensation of an arcade game in 1994. As I mentioned, the soundtrack was the first ever dance soundtrack to go platinum. They were playing that Mortal Kombat theme song on top 40 radio stations. It was a, it was a huge moment in time.

Listen, we're from different generations.

You a Sub-Zero or Scorpion guy?

Used to be Sub-Zero, now just plain Zero. Name the movie.

That's, uh, Last Action Hero?

Nah, that's, uh, The Running Man, the OG.

I don't think I ever saw Mortal Kombat Annihilation. I don't remember.

Good, great movie.

Can I tell you, can you guess what the media score is for Mortal Kombat Annihilation?

I'm gonna tell you it's well below 40% because we reviewed it on Cinephobe, the podcast where Zach Harper and I watch movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes and try to ascertain whether they're accurately poorly rated or maybe they didn't get a fair shake. It's Cinephobe. You get it wherever you get podcasts. It's produced by Anthony Mays. And today we got the movie that I am trying to stall to remember the name of. What was the movie? Oh, Navy SEALs.

Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Sheen.

It's a great flick.

And Michael Biehn, who we've given the Lifetime Award Worst Actor Ever. Michael Biehn.

Really?

He's awful. Not in this movie. He's awful in this movie, but in terms of him being the worst actor ever, we literally named our Worst Actor Award after him.

Instead of watching Game 6 of the 1997 World Series, because even back then I was cocksure that the Marlins weren't going to win that game, I watched Navy SEALs.

That's a terrible movie.

Michael Biehn. First of all, I know Michael Biehn's child. I know his son, his grown son, and I am going to pass along this opinion.

We literally call it the Michael Biehn Ass On Award because the opposite of acting your ass off is acting your ass on. That's how bad he is.

Navy SEALs is great.

He's terrible in it. He actually messes up drinking a beer. He doesn't know how to drink a beer correctly. It's unbelievable.

What does that mean? Like, does it go all over his chin?

Yes, that's exactly what it means. He tries to take a sip of beer and misses. Which means he can't even act.

How's it going to be?

Or he's sitting in a 4DX seat.

I think you're wrong. I sincerely think Johnny Ringo is a great character.

It's Johnny Cage. No, no, no.

Johnny Cage.

His legal name is John Carlton. We found that out listening back to the soundtrack this morning.

You don't like Johnny Ringo? You don't like Johnny Ringo? I'm more of a Johnny Paul guy.

The other night I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I, I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around and you think, yeah, This was the right move. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975, and it still hits different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere. They sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The NBA playoffs are here and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, brings excitement to every game all postseason long.

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It sounds to me like everybody could use a hug because a hug is always the right size. Stugatz. All I have put in my body today is 3 cups of coffee and an entire cup of honey.

Don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery.

This is the Dan Le Batard Show with Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Rotten Tomatoes media score: 4%.

Do you know who was in that movie?

No.

All right, well, I mean, you should check the, the name Motaro. Motaro, as you know, in Mortal Kombat lore, is that, that half-man, half-horse, that centaur. Um, so It's played by an actor whose credentials are hilarious. All right, I'll just go ahead and say it. Malibu from American Gladiators.

What? The guy with the hair?

Yeah, yeah, he played Mataro.

By the way, that's Cinephobe episode 79 if you're looking for it. Also, episode 79 and a half is Mike Ryan sitting down and going over the key plot points with us. So check it out, Cinephobe, wherever you get podcasts.

Oh, James Remar is Lord Raiden, huh?

Yeah, well, they recast him. Yeah. From Mortal Kombat 1 in 1995, which was played by Christopher Lambert.

Lambert!

Yeah.

Wow, look at that.

That is Malibu.

Look at him.

Yeah. I don't think so.

I don't think so. He's got a weird voice, that Lambert guy. It kind of sounds like this, but not quite.

So last night, the NBA was on ESPN, which means you had Inside the NBA. And making his, uh, uh, playoff debut, his postseason debut on Inside the NBA was Draymond Green. That's right, coming fresh off his controversy with Austin Rivers. They're going back and forth, they're throwing haymakers on each other's podcasts. And so Draymond Green, who everybody assumes is going to have a, a TV media career once his career is done Obviously, look, full disclosure, I don't like Draymond Green. I don't, I don't, I don't like hearing from him. I disagree with most of the things he says, so I'm certainly coming from a biased place. But I watched Draymond Green on that show last night, and who knows how much longer Inside the NBA is going to be on the air. Like, like, it feels like there's an end date, you know? So maybe it won't even be that show that Draymond Green eventually joins when he's done with his playing career, but I watch Draymond Green on a show like that and it doesn't work for me. Like, I find him— I don't find him likable. And especially on a show like that, I want to feel like it's fun.

I want to enjoy what I'm watching. I don't think he gives off a likable presence. And the way that I would even justify my thought there is Charles Barkley. When Barkley was a player, he was nasty. Not a nice guy. And the way he played was not nice. The way he treated people on the court was not nice. And a lot of times he was, uh, not terribly nice with the media as well. But when Charles Barkley got on that camera, man, right from the get-go post-career, there was something about him. It's like, oh, you know what, this guy gives off good vibes. I like seeing him. I like hearing from him. And I don't feel that with Draymond Green. I watch him up there, I hear him talk, I'm like, I don't like this guy. I don't like him.

Yeah, he seems like he's doing a WWE character. And it is funny, we talked about that previously, some of the most loathsome characters when they were in their primary career. John Madden was a— I mean, people now would be stunned to learn when he was the Raiders coach, he was, you know, basically the head douchebag of like, we want to be villains and all of that kind of stuff. He was a coach? Alex Rodriguez, uh, was, you know, was a loathsome Yankee and everybody found him delightful when he turned into a broadcaster. It is weird how Charles Barkley, as far as that goes, the Draymond stuff was, was such garbage because just, uh, at its foundation, do you, Draymond, think that your career— I would rather have Draymond's career than Charles Barkley's because I would like to win titles. But do you actually think, Draymond, that your career compares with Charles Barkley's? Because it doesn't.

Well, so listen to this from last night. This is, you know, some— I don't remember what point in the show this was, but these guys bust balls. I mean, we, we know the way that is. They go at each other, you know, especially Shaq and Charles. Shaq was not on the show last night, but here's Draymond Green when they were talking about the end of his career end of Draymond's career coming and like, what's the endgame? What's it going to look like?

Nobody wins when they're 37, 38. You said what you said. I want to hear if he believes what you're talking. Yeah. I mean, I think the goal is just to not look like you in the Houston Rockets uniform. Yeah, it's ultimately the goal for us.

Like, we don't want to—

What does that look like? Did you see it? I'm just asking. I saw it.

Okay, I don't, I don't know what Draymond's referencing there because in Charles's last year of his career, which only played like 20 games, broke his leg, didn't get to go out the way that he wanted to, but in Charles's last year of his career in Houston, he averaged more points than any year of Draymond Green's career. He averaged more rebounds than any year of Draymond Green's career. Like, why would Draymond not want to go out looking like Charles did?

So I understand I am going to be the Draymond apologist. Inside the NBA is a very jocular show, right?

Did that feel jocular?

I think he was trying to, and it fell flat. I think that's what he was trying to go for. And I think even Kenny was trying to like, alright, let me— alright, what's it— so he wanted him to kind of go on and then Charles would come back on him, but he just kind of stopped there. He's like, he didn't— he's not good at that part, obviously, not yet. He doesn't have the chemistry with those guys, but I think that's what he was going for because Like, everyone knows that Charles Barkley was a great player. I don't think there's anybody who's ever— oh, Charles was garbage or whatever. Charles obviously was a great player. Houston, towards the end—

I think there's probably people who are young who watch that show and have no idea Charles was what he was because not only are they too young to have seen him play, but the way the other guys on the show talk about him for never having won.

Yeah, maybe that's, maybe that's the case. I, I think Draymond is being, he's trying to have a laugh, have a go, right? In the same way that Dave keeps talking about Chris fantasizing about his sister-in-law. Stop! But, you know, like, I think it just fell flat. And, you know, that's what happens when you're on live TV and you're trying to do something with people you have no chemistry with.

No, that's what happens when you have not earned the right to bust chops because there's no track record of you being a funny person. The idea that I'm in a position because Charles Barkley is funny and Shaq is funny and so now I'm gonna keep up with the Joneses. Hey, Draymond, what indication is there that you're funny? You get histrionic and shout down your head coach in public. You punch teammates out. That's what we know about you. Your primary trait, as far as I can tell, and I've watched your whole career, is acting like a douchebag. Well, then you're not a funny guy, so don't try to be funny.

This is what I've discovered in all my travels through all the land, is that rare is the person who is self-aware to say, "I'm not funny." Most people think they're funny.

Well, I mean—

The vast majority of people think they are funny.

I mean, boy, true, true, true, fella, because people will tell you all sorts of terrible things about themselves, and I'm not just talking about Chris Cody. People will tell you that they're like, "I know I'm not the most handsome guy in the world." Like, that's a weird concession to make about oneself. "Oh man, you're much nicer than I am." Like, "I'm not the brightest bulb, but I make up for it by working hard." People will tell you all those things. No one thinks they don't get the joke.

Mm-hmm.

So now some people acknowledge I maybe shouldn't be telling the jokes, but I get all the jokes. This is Draymond putting himself in a position to be the joke teller when, like I say, you're, you're a shitster. You're a bot. You're not, you're not a funny jokester fella. So don't jump in against one of the best in the business and try to do that and get a response. And Chazz Barkley, to his credit, gave him exactly what he should have— nothing. You don't rise to my level in basketball terms or comedically. Sit there and twist. No, I know I'm nice, handsome, and smart, but I'm not funny.

Gotta find a way to be likable if you're gonna be on television. You have to.

I'm also likable.

I, I think what I would say is he's excellent at basketball analysis. He's really good at breaking down plays and telling you what's happening and telling you all the things. And that, that there are a lot of people, as you might say, are more likable, but there aren't many more people who are better than him at giving you actual analysis. When he was talking about how to guard Victor Wembenyama, he's telling you actual analysis. He's not just a, well, you just got to be physical with him. He's telling you about where to, where you want him to catch, where you don't want him to catch, how, how much space you want to give him, all those things. He's really good at breaking down the game, and that's why he is gonna have a job somewhere whenever his career is over.

Just to go back to it, not to overdo it, but we have replaced as a society in a lot of different places that you look with being funny with just being an asshole. That, that, and a lot of people are not delineating the two. Like, oh, he's, he's really true. No, you're just being a troll. You're not being funny. You know, you didn't get the best of me in that back and forth as we traded barbs. You just acted like an asshole.

Oh, look at this guy over here. Why don't you go suck one, huh? Dave Dymashek, ho ho! He's so funny!

Do you see how funny he is?

It's Dave Dymashek. What's the deal with his mustache, huh? Is it the same flavor? Something like that, huh?

Hysterical! Andrew Dice Clay?

Yeah, something like that. That's what I think of, of an asshole that people think is funny, oh ho!

Dan Le Batard.

It's the Jets coach, sweetie. Stoogatz.

I should go say hello. This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stoogatz. I saw Andrew Dice Clay at the Sunrise Musical Theater.

When?

Doesn't exist anymore.

Why? Almost 30 years ago, I'd say. I saw Andrew Dice Clay, I was probably 16, saw him with my father. All right, both of us were so excited.

Bill Plaschke?

So— no! Both of us were so excited to see Andrew Dice Clay. It was not a good idea.

Was it— oh, look at this soda drinker kid over here in the front row with his pops! Oh!

It was, it was so vulgar that— and, and look, it's not like we, you know, we're pretty liberal with things that we talk about and say in my home, you know, but Sitting right next to your father when every— when I say every other joke, when every other joke was the C-word, a little bit rough. A little bit rough next to your dad.

Now, I don't know, because our Commander-in-Chief let us know if it's by C, it might be C-S-E-A.

See you next Tuesday?

C-E.

It's C. A U came after the C, and it's not a good word. And every other joke was that. It was a little bit rough.

Oh!

You get the cold sweats sitting next to your old man?

Do you think he's gonna look over and you'd be like, "What did you just take?" I mean, both of us realized this was not the best for us to be at together.

I have two things. First of all, I think I'd be interested in Amin's take on who would win in a one-on-one competition. Leave the firefighter out of this. Charles Barkley or the firefighter? No, Charles Barkley or Draymond Green. But also, Zazz, I think it's lovely, and look at how you and your old man did it, and now you and your boys go on these trips. But when you say Orlando, I'm always struck by this as someone not from Florida. Why do so many athletes settle in Orlando specifically? Why don't they come to Miami? Why don't— you know, it seems like there are some better destinations to me. I'm an outsider. I haven't been to Disneyland since I was a little kid.

Disney World over here, by the way. Keep your Disneyland. Oh, I'm sorry, we do Disney World here.

Disney World.

This mustachio clown doesn't even know the difference with Disneyland and Disney World.

What's the answer to that? Why is everybody— why did Tiger on down— why do they all go to real estate prices?

Hey, what country do you live in?

Oh, but they're the richest people on the planet.

Hey, that's how the rich stay rich.

Oh, guy gets it.

Should I call you up? Punt.

Okay, it's cheaper because there's not as much good stuff there, right? Isn't Miami better? Yeah, that's why you live in Miami instead of Orlando, because it's, it's a better life experience.

I, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, I live down here.

Yeah, I— more celebrities live in Miami.

Yeah, I'm not sure it's a completely accurate thought.

Yeah, a lot of athletes live in Orlando.

More athletes live in Miami.

It's Tiger Woods, it's Grant Hill. Tiger lives in Jupiter. Who are those people that all live together in the same and share?

I think a lot— no, no, no. I think a weird percentage of athletes live in Orlando. Live in Orlando?

Just one of them.

It's more, I would imagine, athletes with families that actually like care about that end. Hey, we're near Disney World, we're near whatever else. There's accessibility to an international airport.

Now you're trying to help him out. You're being a good teammate. But it's not a thing anymore. He's an Orlando guy though. That was a late '90s thing.

I do love Orlando. He went to school in Orlando. I did too for a little bit. I transferred.

So did I.

They kicked you out of Santa Fe? No, I transferred from UCF, Dave, to the University of Florida after going to Santa Fe. I know, you know, I get— listen, I'm, I'm a hypocrite. I root for two college football teams. I think it's very weird that you're a graduate of Gainesville and you root for the Canes.

It's not weird. I've explained it 100 times.

Community college?

I did not do that either. You know what, I'm not doing this again right now, okay? If you want my expertise, go back in the archives and go listen to my ex-husband.

Yeah, I went to two community colleges. What's wrong with that?

That's great.

Valencia?

But I was able—

shout out—

awesome for you guys, but I was able to get into a full-blown university.

So did I. I got into one after that. We don't have to lie about it. I did a program.

They paid me to go to school.

All right, your choice. Mike, speaking of which, the World Cup is right around the corner.

That's right.

And two things I have noticed. Number one, these games are not sold out.

Which is kind of crazy, especially when there's definitely one that sold out, which Colombia-Portugal is like one of the hardest tickets in the history of—

that's down here, right?

Athletics.

It's down here.

Yes, it is.

But overall, like, you know, games the United States are playing in the United States, not sold out.

Home opener has 40,000 tickets sold. That last check a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, it's real bad.

That's bad. These ticket prices are outrageous. And I saw the president of FIFA came out and made some type of analogy toward, you know, in the United States, well, if you're going to go to a college football game or NFL game, these are, these are the same prices. Like, this is what tickets cost here. I don't know that that's necessarily true. What is that?

Can you tell what the price is for a lot of these games?

The, the—

not Colombia, Portugal, but like the lesser games, even cheapest tickets like $800 just to get into the building.

That's right.

You mean on secondary markets or the face of the—

no, the face.

Yeah, face value. They're not sold out. Yeah. And FIFA FIFA also kind of controls the secondary market too. Match made in heaven.

Yeah, these tickets haven't sold.

And the American ticketing industry, just, they couldn't be more over the moon to have one another.

And what is the face then?

Way too expensive.

Yeah, €800.

Yeah. So like FIFA, which is a curious decision for a not-for-profit organization, has decided that they are more than fine having a half-full stadium than a full stadium, provided that they don't betray their price point. They don't care about the concessions or fulfilling any of the promises that they made to host cities. And the number one promise that they made to host cities, lumped into this big promise that was going to be like 10 Super Bowls, right, was that your hotel and tourism industry will boom.

Economic boom.

And then Forbes came out this week with a study. They have described the World Cup— the hotel industry has described the World Cup as a, quote, non-event.

That's insane.

Wow.

That's insane. Like, compare and contrast what Qatar looked like, uh, 4 years ago in terms of just massive amounts of people coming in. Hotels— they had to build hotels to accommodate all these throngs of people coming in. They built mass transit to accommodate all these throngs of fans going to the games. And then 4 years later, we're here, and this is supposed to be the greatest World Cup of them all. You know, when you listen to people talk about the '94 World Cup, they speak in such glowing terms because they say usually when you go play in a World Cup, the main stadium where the opening game and the closing game is, that one's a big like 80,000-seater, but a lot of the other ones like 20,000, 30,000. And they said the United States was the first time they ever had a World Cup where every single stadium was an 80,000-seater, right? Because they're all NFL stadiums. And so it lent itself to this great accessibility. To games for people from everywhere. Fast forward to this World Cup and the infrastructure is there in terms of the stadiums, but because of multiple things. Number one, the ticket pricing.

Number two, let's face it, anti-American sentiment because of the foreign policies and all that. People don't want to come here, and even the ones that do want to come here are facing massive, massive obstacles. We're talking about people being told You need a $15,000 down payment in order to get a visa just to come and watch the World Cup.

I'm surprised legitimately, and not to be, you know, get up on Mount Pious about it or anything, but I asked Pablo Touré that, and I said, you know, he's a— I don't know if you heard of him, he's a Pulitzer Prize winner. He, um, I asked him, so he's smart, why are we not hearing at least threats from some of these nations that they, that they were going to boycott You heard a little of that maybe 3 or 4 months ago. And Pablo said, nah, they would just— FIFA would just immediately replace them and all the other participating countries would just move on very quickly. It would not make the political dustup. It wouldn't get the attention that you think it would.

Some, some countries had a discourse about it. Germany considered it at the, at the very least. But it's a World Cup. It's the biggest event on the planet. Your athletes, probably. There are so many participants that this is our only shot to compete at the World Cup. You just don't punt on a World Cup.

I get it, but except that the pushback on that is, is if people are not traveling to do it, that's an indication of where their interest level is.

They'll watch it at home and they'll root on their team. What's, what's really unfortunate is the '94 World Cup, as Amin referenced, I think it's still to date the most profitable World Cup.

They sold more tickets than any other World Cup.

Yeah. The United States in particular, the three host nations, because the United States is co-hosting along with Canada and Mexico. The United States is so well positioned to host this tournament in particular, and it's the biggest World Cup ever. And it was part of the reason why, you know, 15 years ago when this thing started coming to fruition, you were super excited. You couldn't help but think like, man, how much further along is our men's national team going to be 15, 20 years from now? Soccer is growing and you can, you can follow Southampton if you're in the United States, where before you could only like follow Arsenal or Manchester United or Chelsea. There is so much access to this game now. And you thought 20 years down the line, man, we'll be able to just go right into the stratosphere with this. And now even soccer fans are down on this because of— it cannot be ignored. The tourism industry is feeling the pinch of this because of global policies and other things, right?

Like, I don't want to make it seem like the only thing, but it's definitely part of it.

The economy is tied into some of the policies.

Absolutely, right? Absolutely. So the way I've been describing it is we— congratulations, America— we late-stage capitalism the World Cup today. Like, this is the most unstoppable—

and people are willing to participate.

Of course, Johnny Infantino is like, yeah, let's go, let's do it, here, here, a Peace Prize, whatever it takes, right? The idea that— and we can't stress that enough, we have— I think we have a very cosmopolitan audience, the show, but still, like, a lot of them are just dumb old Americans. You guys don't understand, this is like 10 Super Bowls, right? The idea of this sporting event, it's bigger than the Olympics. It's bigger than the Super Bowl. It's bigger than anything ever in the history of mankind. You say, why don't they boycott? You know how many times people have boycotted a World Cup? Never in the history of the World Cup. They suspended the World Cup because of a world war.

Iran's not—

Iran's like, hey, we're still on our way.

Yeah, Iran's playing in it by all accounts. And the only two markets, uh, host cities that are reporting that, you know, the hotel the hotel business is good, or Miami because they have El Palacio sold out. I'm sure, I'm sure Miami is a great host city and it's having a lot of big marquee games down here and it's a gateway to the Americas. Atlanta is also close, so Atlanta and Miami are the only cities that are reporting a big boom from the World Cup. You would think places like Kansas City— first thing that I would— I'm going to one World Cup match as of right now. Where? I might go to a second in Guadalajara. But the first one, the first one I'm going to is in MetLife Stadium.

You're going to Guadalajara? Guadalajara.

We've been before. Yeah, great place.

I like Guadalajara.

I could watch Colombia in Guadalajara and that'll be cheaper than watching them here.

Sure. Also games in Canada, right? Yeah. So it's going to be an especially embarrassing thing when Mexico and Canada fill those stadiums. Or are they— are they struggling?

Not only the stadiums, but again, this is the important part. The hotels, the restaurants, the bars, the nightclubs.

So naturally it's about— I was excited to be a host nation. And I knew Miami would be a host city, but I'm like, man, those tickets are probably going to be insane. I probably save more money. And a lot of my friends have done this traveling to another city. So you would think a city like Kansas City would really benefit from having the World Cup there. And because why— who would go to Kansas City to watch a World Cup game? Kansas City reporting dead last when it comes to hotel boom. Guadalajara. The other night I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen and I, I somehow care about that too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching just one thing and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around and you think, yeah, This was the right move.

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