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Transcript of The Big Suey: Why Do You Have Me On The Show? (feat. Dianna Russini)

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
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Transcription of The Big Suey: Why Do You Have Me On The Show? (feat. Dianna Russini) from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Podcast
00:00:00

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00:00:57

Smyrnaf. Please drink responsibly. Smyrnaf. Number 21 Vodka distilled from green, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smirnov Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnov. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. Us resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12: 15, 2025 at 12: 00 AM Eastern and ends 1: 23, 2026 at 11: 59, 59: 00 PM Eastern. See official rules at program website.

00:01:18

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

00:01:20

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

00:01:26

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's a rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

00:01:32

Everything else?

00:01:33

Everything else.

00:01:34

Wearing clean underwear every day?

00:01:36

Well, that's just a personal decision.

00:01:38

Brushing your teeth?

00:01:38

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

00:01:41

Never PP on an electric fence.

00:01:43

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

00:01:51

Damn, that's cold.

00:01:52

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

00:01:55

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

00:02:26

Welcome to the Big Sway. Presented by Drapes. Draftkings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. Now, here's the Marching Man to Nowhere, Fatface, and the Habitual Liar.

00:02:55

This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

00:03:02

Some stats here for Diana Rusini and by Diana Rusini. The Bills are now 4-0 this season when they allow 31 or more points. So the rest of the league is 8 70 in those circumstances. The Bills are 4-0. He is tops in the fourth quarter in quarterback stats of rushing yards, passing yards, and EPA in the fourth quarter. He's at the top of the the list. No quarterback has been better in the fourth quarter. They're held together by Scotch tape, but what they've got at the quarterback position is crazy. Diana Rusini is going to join us now, but big award here for Pablo Torre. He's been named Sports Media Person of the Year by awful announcing Pablo. They have their annual awards. They write, When it comes to the year that was in sports media, 2025 will be remembered as the year that Pablo Tori found out. Perhaps no figure in sports media has managed to thread needle of performing legitimate journalism while also adapting and embracing the reality of today's industry as deftly as Tori has. Transparently, Tori was an easy, unanimous choice for our annual Sports Media Person of the Year Award, which we present to the industry's defining figure.

00:04:19

Zaz, you comment on that or no? Anonymous sources on Zaz.

00:04:23

Whatever? Yeah, whatever. What do you mean whatever? Why is there not enthusiasm for our teammate and colleague? Yeah, no, cool. Just everyone's bored by this.

00:04:31

Nice.

00:04:32

Ashton, right? What do you think?

00:04:34

Who's second place?

00:04:36

It was unanimous.

00:04:37

It's you. That's what I'm looking for.

00:04:38

The new Max Kellermann podcast.

00:04:40

It wasn't close. You guys are not very positive about your teammates.

00:04:44

No, we're saying It's so obvious.

00:04:46

It's like Mendoza's high as been. Cool. All right. He beat Pavia by a thousand, 2,000 votes or whatever it was. All right.

00:04:51

Pavia doesn't think Pablo.

00:04:53

He's my teammate, too.

00:04:55

That's right. At the Athletic as well, I would have nominated Diana Rusini for Sports media personality of the year. I would have put her in the discussion.

00:05:03

Happy birthday, Danny boy.

00:05:05

How are you doing? Look at that. Thank you. Happy birthday to him. I don't care. Good luck. At What age do you guys think that birthdays stop being happy? Death.

00:05:19

Your age. Six.

00:05:20

Fifty-seven.

00:05:21

Each one of them, you're above the ground. Dana is a good one.

00:05:24

I feel like you've asked this about six or seven years in a row, so about 50.

00:05:29

I'm I'm thinking 50 is about the place that I would put it. She's the senior NFL insider for the Athletic, and she's the host of the Scoop City podcast. She'll be part of Netflix's NFL Christmas Day double header. First game is Cowboys at Commanders. She'll be in Minnesota covering lions, Vikings for the afternoon game. Have you checked the 11-day forecast? Because I'm guessing that Minnesota is not a place you want to be during Christmas winter.

00:05:54

I don't mind it. It's indoors. I'm very excited about that. I was actually just texting with someone in Minnesota right before I hopped on, What's the rough temperature indoors on a game day? And they said, A nice 71, 72.

00:06:06

No, no, no. But wait, Diana, you got to get over there. I understand that the game is not outdoors, but it's still unpleasant to be in Minnesota at anywhere outdoors.

00:06:15

Yeah, that's true. Do you remember the Super Bowl there? I do. That was probably one of the most miserable experiences in terms of dealing with just the logistics of getting from, I don't know, your hotel, which was a few blocks from where all the action was. I remember Mina Kimes and I just huddling together to try to stay warm. It was so bad. So, yeah, no. What I want to do is I want to ask a team for one of those capes. You know how the guys wear the capes on the sidelines?

00:06:44

Yeah. Every time Aaron Rodgers went to the sideline, they put a cape on him. No, it's exactly how you would treat royalty. If you had a bunch of peasants on the sidelines just taking care of the king, they just put a big, giant cape on him to stay warm for the six seconds he's on the sidelines.

00:07:01

So I found out that what it is, it's this big shell poncho that teams that play in the tropical weather, like where you guys are, they just wear the shell over. But in the cold weather, the cold weather team is obviously Like Green Bay, Buffalo, New England, Pittsburgh last night. What they do is they take the inside of a poncho. It's almost like a quilt, and they button it inside of the shell. Some of them are heated. And how about this? Some Some teams, I don't know if this is interesting to you, but some teams, their coaches don't like the appearance of it because it makes them look soft, right? You're huddled under this big poncho-looking thing. So some teams have sleeves in it. So it doesn't look so cape-like. Remember Tom braided, snuggling with Danny Amandola years ago in New England? Aaron Rodgers last night, he wears the big cape. But some guys want the sleeves so they look tougher outside of putting Vaseline all over their exposed skin to deal with the cold weather.

00:08:01

Put it on the poll, please, that Lebitard Show. Have you ever heard anyone say anything interesting after they start with, I don't know if this is interesting to you. She mentioned Mina in Minnesota. Let's get Mina from Minnesota giving us her Super Bowl analysis from a zip line. How do I do this? How do I have to maintain a path, rest it in a fourth corner, not like the Falcons?

00:08:22

They have a lot of steps. I guess that's the help to do it.

00:08:28

Oh my God.

00:08:38

She's still with us? She's still with us? Oh, my God. Why do I stop?

00:08:49

This woman is one of- Look at the brandy before, is it what it sounds like? This woman is one of the best analysts on television. She's one of the faces of ESPN, and only you guys I would get her to do that. I remember her telling me she was doing that. And what was that? That had to be over eight years ago now, right? And I remember we were just starting together at ESPN, and I was going to hop on the show, too, to do something a little weird. And I remember talking to her in the Mall of America going, Should we do this stuff?

00:09:23

Is this going to help us?

00:09:26

We're women in a male-dominated industry. We Our credibility is on the line every second of the day. I remember looking at her like, Let's just do it. She did it. I think she turned out all right.

00:09:41

Yeah, she was legitimately terrified, though. She was conquering a fear. I can't believe that she stayed with the analysis because she was so afraid. But let's talk about this Thursday night game for a second. I think that the most balanced team in the league is Seattle. The ability to stay with the Rams, even though they had that amount of turnovers, I thought was a credit to them. But of course, if I'm looking at both those teams, I'm going to take Stafford over Darnold, as is everyone who's listening to this. So no one's going to favor Seattle over the course of the rest of the season over the Rams, correct?

00:10:19

Yeah. I think the jury is still out on whether or not Sam Darnold can deal with a high pressure game. No one feels good about him yet because they want to see it until we see it. Now, do I think what he's done this year in Seattle has been remarkable? And at times, there have been people around the league who think he's doing a better job for the Seahawks than he actually did in Minnesota, where they won a bunch of games last year. Look, I think the teams that are Running the ball well right now are the teams that are finding victory, and they've done a really good job this year, Seattle, of running the ball. In terms of what they've done collectively, right? Seattle just taking a step back and looking at them, I think what John Snyder has done is easily executive of the year type of work. Just from the way they've built this, moving on from Russell Wilson, which I know feels like a million years ago, but they had to make that decision, moving on from Pete Carroll, bringing in Mike McDonald, who has been tremendous, definitely in the running for Coach of the Year if he continues to win this season.

00:11:22

So yeah, I think the Seattle Seahawks give the Rams probably the biggest challenge in the NFC, without a doubt.

00:11:29

You mentioned Pete Carroll. You think he regrets the decision to go there because he's not going to dig his way out of there. They are doomed because they can't fix their quarter pack situation.

00:11:38

It is a tough place to be right now. And whenever I watch the readers and you see Max Crosby do something incredible like he always does, all I think about is this man's legacy, right? What is Max Crosby's legacy going to be if he stays with the Raiders? Because if he was on a team right now that was in contention and competing, imagine if he was with the Rams, if he was with Seattle, if he was with the Patriots or the Bills, look at Miles Garrett as well. Look, I think for Las Vegas, Tom braided has had a lot of say over what they've done. And I've seen people, I think Stephen A. Was talking about it yesterday. Tom braided needs to get control over this team and call the shots. Tom braided is not there. He's physically not in the building, but there's eyes and ears on the ground reporting back to him all the time while he's doing all these different jobs. So it's almost like he's got too many jobs to grab holds of what Vegas needs, which is what I agree with from Steven A. 'S perspective of, weigh in on what you know and what you think could help this organization, because obviously, the way they've done it hasn't been good.

00:12:48

So Pete Carroll, look, obviously everyone's looking to see if whether or not Mark Davis keeps him. But that's definitely a place where I'm hearing people around the league wonder if he's going to survive this year because they can't get the quarterback position right.

00:13:00

Diana, what is going on with Joe Burrow?

00:13:02

Okay. So I think everyone freaked out a bit last week, and rightfully so, because Joe just was very open, right? I thought that was a very vulnerable moment for him before this last weekend's game, where he was essentially just talking about how he's not having any fun. And I think we freak out because you hear that and you go, Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is this going to be Andrew Locke, right? Or is he dealing with something serious? We obviously don't ever want to make light of it. So I did a little digging on it and just talk. First of all, Joe Burrow is very private. We'll begin with that. No one's calling Joe Burrow and being like, So what's up, man? He barely answers his phone. He barely texts his back. In fact, people I talk to that are close to him shared that. They're like, Here's why I know Joe Burrow is okay. Ever since he came back from his injury, he's been communicating with people more. When he was recovering from the Turf toe surgery, he He blocked the world out and was just focused on getting back. He had the surgery.

00:14:04

His foot was in a cast. He wanted to get back so badly for that Thanksgiving game. He cut the cast off himself. Just think about how Crazy, that is, to just not wait for the doctor to do it. You do it yourself because you want to get to rehabbing as quick as possible. Someone that's been around him for years said to me, he's a serial killer. That is how badly he wants to do this. He is a maniac about winning. And so if you ask me what's going on with Joe Burrow, it's this kid is sick of losing. He's sick of the way he's losing, and now he's annoyed with himself because he's part of the reason why they're not winning.

00:14:44

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00:15:53

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00:16:54

Hey, everyone. It's Jeremy here. Happy holidays. And I know that during the holiday season, my personal favorite part is getting to spend time with family, spend time with friends, reminiscing over years past of the holidays that we spent together before. But in my case, there have been some years I haven't been able to be around, mostly because of work. I'm lucky to live near my family. But I know for some of you, that might not be the case. And if there's distance between you, or even if it is a work conflict, you don't have to feel disconnected from your family during the holidays. And a great way to stay connected is one800flowers. Com because they make it easy to bridge miles, to bridge distance, to bridge time with gifts that just say, I'm thinking of you. So that the people who have always made your Christmases magical still feel close even when they're far away. As I recently ordered the Peppermint Rose Bouquet for my wife, it was gorgeous. Super vibrant, looked freshly picked, and it instantly brought this burst of holiday cheer into our household. It was really wonderful. It made her really happy.

00:17:52

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00:18:05

Dan Levatard.

00:18:06

You have some hot takes today. Joe Chestnut's a fraud. Oh, he's on fire. He called Connor McDavid overrated before the show.

00:18:13

What the hell was that, Greg?

00:18:14

Yeah, no. I love it.

00:18:15

Stugatz.

00:18:16

Roy, let me explain it to you. You know more about hockey.

00:18:19

This is coming from a guy that's watched Connor play six times, if that.

00:18:25

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz. I was mentioning yesterday that because the bangles have been cheap and a laughing stock the entirety of my lifetime, that I don't think people understand what a dreadful commute it is to just walk into that facility. Just the sadness and the cold of the cheapness of that facility. The place where in football that is as cheap as that, that feels as cold as that, if you're losing and going into the locker The room is blank.

00:19:00

I mean, Cleveland? The problem is I went superficial. I was actually thinking about the facility, right?

00:19:10

No, but that's what I'm doing, too.

00:19:12

You're asking me who's got a dumpy place?

00:19:14

No, I'm saying he's going to work every day, and he realizes that he's surrounded by the minor league, that the only reason they're not minor league is because he's there. It's him.

00:19:22

Yeah. No, it's a good point, and I do think that's part of some of his frustrations. He's seeing what other teams are doing, how they're operating the type of staffs they have, the type of investment they're making into their football teams, and they're simply not doing that in Cincinnati. Now, he hasn't asked for a trade. He's not hinting at wanting out, from what I understand. But I think this is a mix of all of the things that I already went through and what you just pointed out, because you're right, you go through the league, and we won't go through every single team, but it's really hard right now because so many teams have done a good job of upgrading. Even if they're losing franchises, they have good facilities, right? And they're trying to help their players behind the scenes by giving them the best training staff, by giving them the best offseason programs to work with. So I think we could all feel for them.

00:20:13

This is what I'm saying, Diana. He's a star, and when he's sitting in their shitty Brown Whirlpool because they're cheap, he's looking around like, this doesn't feel like stardom to me. This place is amateur, and it's been amateur long before I got there. That That's right, Mike. I made the water in the Whirlpool brown.

00:20:32

How many times have you been there?

00:20:34

Have you ever been to the Bencles facility?

00:20:36

I was thinking the same thing, Jeremy. I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, Wait, has he been there?

00:20:39

How did I get it right then? How did I get it right?

00:20:41

Yeah, Jeremy. I think you're just making- Oh, sorry.

00:20:42

I thought that was Jeremy that said it.

00:20:44

Assumptions on Mike Brown, which are fair, but I don't know how bad they're... I've never seen it.

00:20:48

Well, Diana can speak to it. How about this, Dan? I'm going to name a team, and you tell me what you think their facility would be based on your experience and what you know. Stereotypes. Okay, so the New York Giants.

00:21:00

I mean, is there a facility in New Jersey? I think of everything in New Jersey as being browned.

00:21:06

Why do you have me on the show?

00:21:10

Brown Whirlpool. Do have a very nice tan.

00:21:15

Look at her. I've heard her feelings because she's New Jersey proud. Look at her. I was born in Jersey City.

00:21:24

Here's the problem. It's all these people who think New Jersey is Snucky. And by the way, Snucky has been great for us. She gets such a tough wrap. She's been great. She's embraced what we are. She's like, This is who I am. Not a lot of people are like that. Maybe I should be J-Waouh.

00:21:43

The thing I was saying yesterday is that the football of Sunday, everybody was talking about Bills and Patriots when there were two better teams, I thought, playing in Rams and Lions. So Vrabel comes out after the game and says, That was a learning experience. What the hell did they learn?

00:22:04

By the way, the Giants facility is lovely. The New England Patriots facility is okay. They're getting a new one.

00:22:11

Top five and bottom five?

00:22:14

They'd probably be bottom five now because they're remodeling. By the way, that doesn't look great for the Giants facility. It's better inside. It's nice. They've got a great cafeteria. It's like an elementary school. The Jets one is unbelievable. That's a really nice one. Look, I think New England has very good self-awareness, which is why this entire season, you never heard them saying the way teams like the Broncos, for example, have said, We're going to the Super Bowl. What New England has done, I think, has maybe even surprised some of them. I don't think they expect it to be this good so quickly. So when you hear the team, even Stefan Diggs talking about it game. This was good for us. Losing is never good. Nobody wants to lose, right? Especially guys as competitive as that group. But I think it magnifies the mistakes, the errors, and the weaknesses that have been covered up a lot by really good quarterback play. So what do we see against the Bills? We saw a defense that doesn't pressure very well. We saw a quarterback that didn't play very well. We saw the other quarterback come in and play like the MVP.

00:23:27

And I think it was a nice reset of, Okay, this is where we are not very good, and we need to fix it now if we want to actually make a deep run in the playoffs here. Because so far, we've been good. We've won, what, 11 straight, 10 straight. But I think for New England, first of all, for Mike Vrabel, he doesn't want to be the lead dog. That's not his personality. He likes being the underdog. Remember with that Titans team when they went to the AFC Championship game and they knocked out the Patriots and Tom braided at Chalette? They love being underestimated. So I actually think that's probably what he means. He prefers to be coming from behind.

00:24:08

She will be part of Netflix's NFL Christmas Day double header. How is your husband dealing with the fact that he's throwing the Christmas party and you're not going to be there. Is he equipped to do all of this? Is he fine?

00:24:21

Yeah, he's great. Eagles aren't playing that day, so that's good. It's my family that has the issue with it. They think it's weird. Like, Greg, do you think it's weird that my husband is hosting 25 people on Christmas Day in our home and I'm not here?

00:24:38

Being honest? Absolutely. Because I would be terrified. If it were my situation, I lean It is so heavily on my wife- Lean back. To do everything, to organize everything, to be the glue of everything, that I would be absolutely terrified.

00:24:53

To do everything competently because you're a toddler.

00:24:56

Pretty much, yeah. God bless your husband, man. I couldn't do that. No, couldn't do it. Sorry. I'm being honest.

00:25:07

Yeah, no. I think it's... Put it this way. My siblings have yet to say, This is really nice. Please tell Kevin, thank you. We're grateful. Let us know how we can help. No one has said that. I have a sibling group chat that the partners are not on, and they're all in there, or my siblings are like, This is weird. We don't want to come over. You're not there. It is weird. Why is he hosting? And what they don't understand and why I need their help here is I am trying to distract Kevin from the fact that I am not going to be there for Christmas, and we have a family. I need you to say. That I I'm choosing football over that. And my siblings, they're not doing their jobs right now. They're exposing me by repeatedly being like, This is strange. Why don't we just go to a restaurant? Or one of them host it. So Kevin I can do it. I'm not worried about it. I just don't know how this is going to shake out when I get back.

00:26:04

Have you caught up on your Marcus Freeman reporting? I know that Mike has been doing a good amount of reporting about Marcus Freeman, and I was mentioning yesterday that outside of winning a championship, nothing could have happened better for Marcus Freeman's agent than what did happen to Notre Dame. It's so true. Now, he doesn't have to prove anything the next couple of weeks.

00:26:24

Yeah, we'll see. I think it's early. I think there's interest. Mike Mike. Mike, I didn't know you were in the... Or is Mike even in today? I don't know if he's in.

00:26:37

He's an insider, Diana. He's an insider.

00:26:40

Mike, if you want to do this, you got to do it every day. That's the key here. You can't just swoop in. It's got to be the everyday grind, right now. They just swoop in. I'm actually projecting. I am very jealous that you can just swoop in and be like, Hey, I got a huge story, and you're right. We'll see. Look, I think the New York Giants are definitely serious about interviewing him and meeting with him and seeing if he's a true, real candidate for them as they're putting together their list at the moment. And I think there's going to be other teams. I think there's going to be other NFL teams who have their eye and are watching to see how it plays out, teams that even have a coach right now.

00:27:23

And early and premature Merry Christmas, because I don't think we're going to see you again before you do that Netflix game. Thank you for the year. It has been delightful to watch and listen to you. Senior NFL Insider for the Athletic and the host of the Scoop City podcast. Nice seeing you. Thank you for putting on that birthday hat for me as well. I do appreciate it. Of course.

00:27:44

Happy birthday. If there's one thing that I would love to give you, we've talked about Mikey and Joey on the show a lot. For your birthday, I would like to hand them over to you for a weekend. I think it'd be good for you.

00:27:57

Oh, I would. To who?

00:27:58

To Dan? To Dan.

00:27:59

It would be good for Dan.

00:28:00

Good with kids.

00:28:01

He like, picks them up and puts them upside down.

00:28:03

Dan, let's be honest.

00:28:06

I'm good with kids. I'm good at renting, not owning. I give them back. I give them back.

00:28:13

Thank you. Just put them outside.

00:28:15

Thank you, Diana. I appreciate it. We appreciate it, I would say.

00:28:18

Can I admit something? I was trying to feed Diana that Marcus Freeman story a week early to totally derail Notre Dame's college football playoff chances. You're sick out. No. This is another thing that the committee has to I can talk to her.

00:28:31

Did she ignore you?

00:28:33

No, she just had to do her own reporting. And she did. And a week later, the Marcus Freeman thing happened. And thankfully, Notre Dame didn't make the CFP, but that was absolutely me trying to sabotage Notre Dame's chances because I could say something, and it doesn't really carry the weight that it does with Diana. She's reputable, even though I broke a lot of stories in my day.

00:28:53

Well, she just said you can't swoop in and out. That's my thing. You actually rebutted what she was saying by But I can. I have.

00:29:01

That's my whole deal.

00:29:02

I do. I just sweep in and out as an insider and then get out and don't actually have to do the daily grunt work.

00:29:10

Folks, listen up. You know my holiday pattern by now. Every single year, I tell myself, Listen, Chris, you're going to be thoughtful this year. You're going to get good gifts. You're not going to be lazy. You're not just going to get gift cards. And this year, guys, I have news. I pulled it off. No panic, no sad little card. You know what I gave? I gave an aura frame. Why is it so hard to find a personal gift these It's for the people I'm closest to, my parents, my wife, my in-laws, my kid, the most important people in my world. I have no idea what I'm supposed to get them as a gift. But one thing I know, people light up when they get photos. People love photos. So I loaded up my aura frame with all the moments I know they'll love, my daughter being adorable, random selfies, group pictures where none of us are looking in the same direction. I kept adding them because Aura lets you send unlimited photos and videos right from your phone anytime. And the best part, you can preload the thing before it even ships. So when it's open on Christmas morning, all the memories are already there.

00:30:01

I'm telling you guys, this is a great gift. And folks, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes. Com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code DLB. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frame, sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

00:30:23

Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. You know what I'm going to be doing on Christmas Day, and it's going to be watching Marty Supreme because I didn't even need to know that critics were calling Marty Supreme a full-throttled masterpiece and the best movie of the year. I already knew that was going to be the case. From A24 and starring Timothée Chalamet alongside powerhouse cast Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa Ozian, and Tyler O'Koma. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, only in theaters.

00:30:58

Mike, you know I have one rule live by, right?

00:31:00

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

00:31:06

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

00:31:12

Everything else?

00:31:13

Everything else.

00:31:14

Wearing clean underwear every day?

00:31:16

Well, that's just a personal decision.

00:31:18

Brushing your teeth?

00:31:19

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

00:31:21

Never PP on an electric fence.

00:31:23

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

00:31:31

Damn, that's cold.

00:31:33

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

00:31:35

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

00:31:43

Don Lebatard Art.

00:31:45

Are you on the fan right now? Did Mike Greenberg call you yet? Are you ever going to go back to ESPN? People think it's so weird you're a writer now. All those years on TV, all those years, and now you write.

00:31:56

Who reads that? Stugatz.

00:31:58

Why did you take a job at the Atlantic? Mom, I work at the athletic. What?

00:32:03

You're on YouTube? This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

00:32:18

I wanted to circle back around on what happened at the Heisman, around the Heisman Weekend, because among the greatest controversies, it's silly to think about now, but among the greatest controversies that I've seen that are Heisman related around the ceremony is that one year, Randy Moss showed up at the Heisman ceremony and dared to wear sunglasses indoors. This is a stuffy downtown athletic club. Everything around what they do there is from a different time.

00:32:51

That's also from a different time. Have you seen the stage? The production value on this thing is incredible. It looks like it's Star Wars now.

00:32:58

It is a great... Well, I drove by the downtown athletic club. It's an old musty thing. It's been modernized, yes, but the ceremony itself, the idea of Saturday Night TV show to name at a banquet-type leading the best player in what used to be amateurism. It doesn't come with a great many controversies, but it is stuffier when it comes to how we represent sportsmanship than most of the sports institutions we have remaining. To see Diego Pavia behave that way around that weekend was a punkishness that you just don't see around what it is that that thing is supposed to be. It's not just what he said about the voters. It's not just that he was at a nightclub rolling with his friends and saying, Bleep the voters.

00:33:51

The last time the Heisman was handed out at the Downtown Athletic Club was 25 years ago.

00:33:56

I drove past the Downtown Athletic Club, and Ricky was there, and so I assume that that's where it was. Where is it now?

00:34:02

Maybe that's where it's housed. But the ceremony for television, been two and a half decades since they've done that on TV.

00:34:09

Did you guys know that? I didn't know that.

00:34:10

I think it initially changed. Might have been around 9: 11, and then they just found a better place.

00:34:15

When you said the Downtown Athletic Club, it's a fairly small-Yes, it's tiny.

00:34:20

Facility.

00:34:20

And so I was thinking to myself, do they still do it there? That didn't sound right to me.

00:34:26

Speaking to the mic. It's not right.

00:34:27

But I didn't know it'd been 25 years.

00:34:30

Speaking of 25 years, I just saw on the television here, parenthetically, they put on the scroll, they said, Dolphins eliminated from the playoffs, and then in the parentheses, and these parentheses hurt, Haven't won a playoff game since 2000.

00:34:43

Yeah, unnecessary.

00:34:45

Longest streak in the NFL.

00:34:46

Mark Smith game.

00:34:48

I was there.

00:34:50

The way Pavia behaved around the weekend that he has since apologized for saying that... Look at what he's saying. Apologized for? He wrote a book. Yeah, he did, but he apologized for wanting to win everything, coming in second place, and then being a poor sport. You hammered him pretty good yesterday.

00:35:10

Well, first of all, his agent did a good job writing that for him. Classless, clueless. Somebody before, knowing his personality, somebody beforehand, his coach, his agent, his parent, should have said to him, Tone it down, okay? Tone it down. Be classe. Don't be the person that you've been off the field and even on the field. Don't be that guy. Be a little bit different right now because everybody's watching you. And he just embarrassed himself in his school. You rarely see that behavior, that classlessness on a stage that big.

00:35:52

I think he might have gotten support if it just ended at Bleep the Voters. People could just say, I guess that's Diego Pavia, and the media is not very well liked. Even though those voters did make you a Heisman runner up, it is an honor to go to that ceremony. It's a whole week dedicated to you. It's a really cool thing. You're surrounded by some of the all-time greats. Some people would be grateful for that. But then to go to the club and have a bottle sign come out that says Bleep Indiana and take what seems like a personal shot at Mendoza that way is also really poor for them. Again, you're with these guys for several days doing media together, and then Mendoza beats you out, and your very first reaction is Bleep that guy? That's not cool. And when you juxtapose that with how classic Mendoza came off in his speech, it just solidifies to every voter that took part in that process. Like, I guess we made the right call there.

00:36:49

And wasn't there anybody in his circle telling him- Clearly no.

00:36:54

No, don't put up that- The O'Vaugh?

00:36:56

I mean, don't put up that sign.

00:36:57

You got the O'Vaugh? To your point, dad, they clearly got to him. He put out that statement.

00:37:02

They got to him. Well, eventually after the fact. Let me read the statement here and see if we bring in professional sincerity questioner Zaslow in to have an opinion on what he wrote on X. Being a part of the Heisman ceremony last night as a finalist was such an honor as a competitor. Just like in everything I do, I wanted to win. To be so close to my dream and come up short was painful. I didn't handle those emotions well at all and did not represent myself the way I wanted to. I have much love and respect for the voters and the selection process, and I apologize for being disrespectful. It was a mistake, and I'm sorry. Fernando Mendoza is an elite competitor and a deserving winner of the award. I have nothing but respect for his accomplishments as well as the success that Jeremiah and Julian had this season. I've been doubted my whole life. Every step of my journey, I've had to break down doors and fight for myself because I've learned that nothing would be handed to me. My family has always been in my corner, and my teammates, coaches, and staff have my six.

00:37:56

That's his back. Yeah.

00:37:58

There's no question mark there. For the audio listeners.

00:38:01

Okay, because the six is on this.

00:38:02

You never heard Have my six, Dan?

00:38:03

No, I have not heard that.

00:38:04

You've never heard You got my six?

00:38:06

It's all right. Just keep moving.

00:38:07

What does that mean?

00:38:08

I love them. I am grateful for them, and I wouldn't want anything to distract from that. I'm actually distracted by the last two words in this statement. I look forward to competing in front of my family and with my team one more time in the Relyia Quest Bowl.

00:38:22

Military term.

00:38:24

Yeah, watch your back.

00:38:24

How about that? Playing in the bowl, huh?

00:38:26

Watch your back, Jack.

00:38:27

Just remember what Travis Hunter's girlfriend got during the last Heisman ceremony, she wasn't a finalist. She wasn't a Heisman runner up. Keep the same energy. Because it was pretty embarrassing behavior. That statement lends itself to him feeling it a little bit because it was an embarrassing way to go about it.

00:38:46

Yeah, he's doing some making up now and some repairing of the bridges he's burning and all. But he's forever going to be the guy who put the ass in class. You can't say what he said and do what he said and then just say, Oh, no, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. What a deserving winner. Nope, too late.

00:39:04

Well, see, that's the part that I want to come in because I don't buy the whole, That wasn't me. That's not the person I am. That was what Dan just read. And that's bullshit because his entire night, it wasn't a moment of, Oh, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have done... For instance, Bajon Robinson, remember on Thursday night, he was on the set with the Prime game, and he said, tackle the bad word, and people got offended. It's like, That's a moment where it's like, I shouldn't have said that. That was stupid. That's not who I am. Okay. Diego Pavia spent the entire night showing everyone, No, this is what I am. This is what I do. His entire night was geared around being an asshole.

00:39:51

Put it on the poll. Did Diego Pavia, as Cody alleged, forever put the ass in class? I'm I'm curious about this. If Indiana had simply lost to Ohio State by three points, is Pavia the Heisman Trophy winner?

00:40:11

I'd suggest it that went in the Big Ten greatly helped his odds. I think he was minus 130 headed into that, and by the end of the game, he was minus 1,000.

00:40:20

Yeah, it felt like that game was for the Heisman. Yeah, those Mendoza are saying.

00:40:25

That's pretty interesting, though, when you think about the fact that while the quarterback did win that game. It wasn't exactly offense that won that game. So it's basically we're given the trophy, Hey, your team went undefeated. We can't explain it here. You have it. And he had 22 touch downs and zero interceptions in the red zone.

00:40:42

I mean, all the great arguments, even though Pavia was more dynamic offensively, and that team depended more on them. Look, Indiana was in the playoff last year. But I know it's impressive to say, Look what he did with Vanderbilt. I know, like I said, they made the CFP last year, but Mendoza did this with Indiana. Mendoza He won the Big Ten.

00:41:02

Number one team in the country.

00:41:03

They're undefeated. He won at Eugene, and he had moments on television with Gus Johnson having an aneurysm on the air.

00:41:11

Terrible call. Unambulia.

00:41:12

He had moments. Pavia, it was more like a season long thing in accumulation. He didn't have these signature moments. His best win's against Mizzou, and LSU was ranked at the time. But Tennessee and Mizzou, we already boked a bunch of holes in their resumes. They didn't beat combined a team over 500 in the FBS. I do- Or a team with a win over a 500 team in the FBS.

00:41:35

Dan, you never heard the 6: 00, huh? No. You never got my 6: 00? So in military terms, you think about your body as the clock, right? So you're looking ahead, that's 12: 00. Yeah. 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, right directly next to you, 6: 00 behind you, 9: 00 to the left, and then 11: 00. That's when you're looking at something, Hey, 11: 00 over here. Took a look. And then you look at 11: 00, bam, it's right there. I'm looking at Roy, 11: 00 for me.

00:41:56

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Have you ever heard of the back being referred to as your 6?

00:42:02

Just always hated when people say that. Oh, I got to... You see that person over here? I know 12: 00. What person? 12: 00 is always easy, but after that, it's like, Get out of here with that. You don't know the clock? Don't tell me 2: 30, okay?

00:42:15

No one says there's someone at my 2: 30.

00:42:17

No, people have said it to me.

00:42:18

Yeah, they do that. When there's a Horizon involved in particular, if you're out on a boat and I say, look at that guy at 1: 15 over there.

00:42:26

No one does that. Horizon.

00:42:27

I'm at 13.

00:42:29

Look, there's a at my 5: 37.

00:42:31

Zero interest in the microphone today for whatever reason.

00:42:33

What are you talking about? I'm eating the microphone. Now you are. What are you talking about?

00:42:36

There are a number of things that as I celebrate aging today, a number of things that I've brought up here as things that are going to disappear or have disappeared. Cash is something that is disappearing. People are using cards more. I would say cursive handwriting is gone. Pointless. But the ability to tell time, is that now gone? Torched down. To look at a clock, a young person looking at a clock, it's always digital now, correct? We are raising a generation of kids who will not know how to tell time.

00:43:17

My daughter has an old-fashioned clock in her. My daughter's teacher is teaching them the old-fashioned way.

00:43:22

That's great. Yeah.

00:43:24

Claire's teacher is also teaching. They have the analog clock on a worksheet, and that's how they figure out But that's going to be like cursive was for me at my age, where it's like, I learned it in the third grade.

00:43:34

They're not going to use it. Yeah.

00:43:35

By like, sixth or seventh grade, it was done. Once you get to middle school and they're no longer teaching you how to read that, you will never have to use it ever again.

00:43:44

Dan, you know about that military time?

00:43:46

Yeah, we were just...

00:43:46

No, that's a different clock, Dan. No, no. That's a different time. Having your 6: 00 is a totally different thing.

00:43:52

Yes, I know military time. What does it have to do with what we're talking about?

00:43:56

Military time is tough. Not going to lie.

00:43:57

What is military time, Dan?

00:44:00

It's 1,200 hours, 1,300 hours, 1,400 hours. It's what?

00:44:05

1,023 is what time?

00:44:07

1 o'clock is 1,300 hours. 1,023 is what time? 1: 00 PM. 1,023 is 4,23 PM. Okay.

00:44:15

This guy will take a quiz.

00:44:18

This guy can do math.

00:44:19

He will take a quiz.

00:44:20

I'm like a couple of people I know. He did the move where he said it out loud so we could have more time to think. That's a move.

00:44:27

And with a bored sound in his voice. What Come on.

00:44:30

4: 23.

00:44:32

He didn't know. He said it. Somebody fed him the info. Come on.

00:44:37

We all know it. You got Lewis doing math back there?

00:44:39

I think so. Wow, shot at Lewis there.

00:44:42

Do you have sparkles-Not a shot at Lewis. Sparkles on your face? Where did you get sparkles on your face from? You have under your lips some sparkles. I know where you can get sparkles on your face.

00:44:51

Where did that happen?

00:44:52

I got to do that to my man.

00:44:53

You guys are telling me that kids today, if I put a clock in front of them, the majority of kids will or I won't know. If I go under 10 years old and I put a nine-year-old kid and I put a clock in front of a nine-year-old kid, the majority do or don't know how to tell time on something that's not a digital clock. Put it on the poll, please, Juju, @LebitardShow. Average nine-year-old kid can or can't tell time without the help of a digital aid.

00:45:20

20: 08 is what time?

00:45:24

It's 08: 00 PM. Okay. We're going to keep doing this. You're going to keep questioning me on- 20: 09. You stump me on that one. That one's too hard. Can you explain whether you have any shame whatsoever about the fact that everyone has to keep telling you to talk into the microphone as a professional broadcaster?

00:45:47

You know what? I'm a casual man, Dan. I'm a casual man. In my real life, when I'm speaking to somebody, I'm not used to leaning in and emphasizing my point. I'm going to lay back, I'm going like this. What do you think? I'm having a combo here. We're on a show. I'm having a conversation here. I'm welcoming the listeners into my circle, my domain.

00:46:11

But, Greg, you can lean back and then just take the mic with you.

00:46:13

I know, but you can hear me right now.

00:46:16

Not really.

00:46:17

I'm much less quality. How about right now? That thing. Okay. Yeah. There you go. What?

00:46:24

You want to try to keep a uniform level for your listeners.

00:46:27

Okay, I'm wearing a uniform.

00:46:29

Greg, they fed you a line. You're not supposed to say yes and then not give us the line. Like, somebody... Oh, fuck.

00:46:35

That's a good point.

AI Transcription provided by HappyScribe
Episode description

"Have my six?"

Dianna is here ahead of her Christmas Day game on Netflix to talk Joe Burrow and Dan's disdain for the Bengals facility, looking manly while keeping yourself warm, and why the Patriots have been realistic about their chances. Also, Greg Cote tells us about a college football player who put the ass in class, and Dan wonders if kids can tell time.
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