Transcript of Hour 2: Greg Almost Sleeps (feat. Amin Elhassan)

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff. Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style has got to match the vibe. All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission. Merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Aleyla May. Smyrnaf. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Aleyla May's one of one game day jacket. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January '21, and it's all courtesy of what brand? Smyrnaf. That's right, Chris. Fans, 21 and over, can head to Smyrnaf Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnaf vodka, number 21, at your local retailer.

Smyrnaf. Please drink responsibly. Smyrnaf. Number 21 Vodka distilled from green, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smirnov Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnov. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. Us resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12: 15, 2025 at 12: 00 AM Eastern and ends 1: 23, 2026 at 11: 59, 59: 00 PM Eastern. See official rules at program website.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's a rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drunk ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold.

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.

This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugats podcast. It is time for-I mean. To share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my voice.

I mean.

Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Lite. Hold on, pause here. Hold on, sorry. I can't hear the beep.

Thank you. You sound like you've had a rough weekend.

Well, the first joke was going to be, Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Lite, and my My Voice is presented by Vegas, but I didn't hear the beep, so we had to start and then start again. Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Light, and My Voice is presented by Las Vegas. Dan, after missing three weeks of action, during which his team performed just as well without him as they did with him, leading some to question whether his impact was overrated. He missed the entire first quarter of action, but checked into the second quarter and posted a plus in seven minutes against the best team in the league. And just like that, make no mistake, Victor Wembeñyama is back. Wembe might have been the first time I've actually considered he could be the greatest player of all time.

Whoa.

Yeah. Dan, the best team in the league looked terrified every time he was on the floor. It was so undeniable that he changed the entire complexion of that game just by checking in. I finally felt it. I was like, Oh, yeah, this is it. In the words of comedian Jamel Johnson, That shit with the monks might be working. Dallas Cowboys, They got a bed. It's a beautiful bed with a Duxiana mattress. Zaz, you know about that Duxiana mattress?

No.

It's a really expensive mattress. Whatever. 800 thread count sheets.

Wow.

Goose down, filled pillows. Then they proceeded to take a fantastic dump in the middle of it. In other words, the Cowboys shit the bed. Buffalo Bills. Spotted the Patriots' 24 points. Then remembered my immaculate Dentec grid of punishment record. They kept me undefeated. Daphlon. Headline. Oldest man ever plays NFL game and manages not to die. Seriously, how does he do it? Philip Rivers took five years off and still ended up down one score, marching down the field with two minutes to go. Incredible. The Cleveland Browns have a tight end named Harold Fanon. The name like that, he sounds like he could be an accountant. Top five NFL player names that could be accountants. Oh, a lie, Harold Fannen. Ola, Pat Fearmuth. Number 5, Pete gogalak. Fuck. Number 4, George Kittle. Number 3, Barry Sanders. Number 2, Greg Dulcich. And the number 1 NFL player name that could also be an accountant name, Jackson Smith and Jigba.

Whoa, wait a minute. What about Andrew Van Ginkle?

That's a good one, but it's my list. Okay.

Yeah.

Greg Cody. Yeah. Good seeing you.

Thank you. How are you doing?

How about those dolphins?

I'm telling you what, they're alive longer than the chiefs are. How about it?

How about it, indeed. Speaking of the chiefs, Natalie Embrulia. Big chiefs fan. She's all out of faith. This is how she feels. Mahomes is on the ground clutching at his knee. Delusion never changed. It's something real.

Nothing's fine. I'm torn.

She's wide awake and knows that Mahomes' ACL is torn, actually. Too soon? Nba Cup. I tried to get to my seating the middle of the row. The guys in the aisle seats got up real quick. I think they were terrified of the hog. I went in backside facing because the unspoken covenant was observed. I emceed… So dumb. I emceed the Steve Nash Foundation Soccer Showdown in Phoenix this last weekend. Huge success. Lots of money raised for kids in underserved communities. Great turnout by Olympians, World Cup winners, and NBA Hall of Famers. Plus, I managed to drop a North Korea joke. The crowd loved it. I don't think they're going to ask me to emcee it next year. It's a shame. This week on Cinephope, episode 293, Rush Hour 3, a movie that considered casting Jean-Claude Van Dem or Steven Segal as the villain, but ended up casting Roman Polansky. If you don't get that joke, I kindly direct you all to the legal history section of Roman Polansky's Wikipedia page. Cinephope, wherever you get podcasts. Speaking of villains, Desmond Baine, quickly becoming one of my favorite purveyors of shenanigans in the league, needlessly escalating situations, then telling the ref, I'm just trying to protect my guy.

I love it. Anthony Black, still reeling from that Jalen Brunson crossover. Shout out to my guy Marlin at the Aria, big DLS fan. Michelle Beatle, I hate her. What?

What?

Michelle Beatle, acting an absolute fool at the Spurs game. Then flagging down Adam Silver. Then having a 10-minute conversation with him in the middle of the game, then says, Let's go gambling. Says to me, I know the looseest slots on the strip. I sit down, I tell her, What do I do? She said, Put the money in there. I said, Okay, now what? She says, To have this setting. I said, Cool. And I said, Now what? She said, Hit that button. I hit it. In 22 seconds, I blew through all my money. Michelle Beatle says, You're doing it wrong, puts in her money, chooses the same setting, presses the same button.

Get out of here.

$6,000.

What? Get out of here.

One push, $6,000. There you go. Proceeded to do this four or five more times.

No, not $6,000.

Dan, the guy had to come from the back, put in a nuclear launch key code, punch in some stuff, and then someone with a briefcase showed up and just handed her stacks of money. If I wasn't there, I would have said, I'm a liar. I saw it with my own eyes.

You were done in 22 seconds.

22 seconds.

Did she give you any money?

Hell, no. Slots are still there. Speaking of hell, Art Bryals. Those are the weekend observations.

Put it on the poll, please. Juju at Lebitard Show, is Desmond Bain a needless purveyor of shenanigans? Also put on the poll, Dan's Worst Mistake: Confusing John cena and Kurt Angle, or calling the hurricanes of Larry Coker Worse than the tigers of Coach Can you tell me, please, catch me up, and I want to get Amine's opinion on this, on the things with Dylan Brooks and LeBron James that continue to escalate.

Yeah, like Amine, that was crazy last night, right? So the Suns and the Lakers played. Lakers blew a 20-point fourth-quarter lead, and Dylan Brooks and LeBron were going at it all throughout the game. But it shit really got wild in the fourth quarter. And there was one sequence where Dylan Brooks slapped a ball that hit LeBron in the chest, and LeBron went crazy, resulting in LeBron grabbing back and forth the referee. I mean, you touch-Not many people can get away with that. But you touch a referee, you're getting thrown out. He's grabbing the referee and yanking him back and forth. He did get a technical foul. And then with 10 seconds left in the game, Dylan Brooks hit a three to give the Suns the lead. Lebron totally fouled him, no call. And then when Dylan Brooks got up, he got up in LeBron's face because they had no time out. So I'd like to DM up, and aggressively to DM up. And LeBron totally flopped. And it was Dylan Brooks' second technical foul. So we got ejected. And then LeBron was fouled Very controversial final play right after that on a three by Devin Booker.

He had two or three free throws. Lakers win. Amin, did I leave anything out?

No, that's pretty exhaustive.

I mean, LeBron's behavior was ridiculous, no?

I mean, Dylan Brooks is really annoying. Let's start there. Then we can also throw in that Dylan Brooks, by the words of his own teammates, he blacks out when he's out there sometimes. We all think it's this calculated Dennis Rodman-esque masquerade to try and get under people's skin. But apparently, no, he really is not present of mind in terms of knowing what's happening. He's just in his own little world. You could say LeBron flop, but also Dylan Brooks You got to know time and scoring situation and what you can and can't do. He didn't get called for a foul. He got called for a technical foul because he wasn't just deeing him up. He was going above and beyond. And part of being a vet in this league is knowing when someone is running in the red and not under control and using that against them. And LeBron, I thought, did a great job of doing that last night.

Greg Cody, the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody, is featuring this week Dave Barry and his holiday gift-giving guide. I don't know how good all of you are at giving gifts, and I want to ask Amin how good or bad he is at giving gifts, but what did you cover with Dave Berry in the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody?

He's got an array of wonderful gifts. His gift guide is not in the Herald this year for the first time ever. He's on Substack now, so go follow him on Substack or listen to my podcast to find out all these crazy gifts. One of them is a can full of fishballs, but my favorite was the the toilet with a mirror on it. So if you've ever had a desire to watch yourself wipe, what This is the gift for you. It's supposed to be helpful. Yes, it's supposed to be helpful.

A mirror you can put on your toilet so that when you're wiping, you can really make sure you're getting everything.

You can be accurate. For those of you who need help wiping.

Can you think of anything you'd rather see less?

It's a bad gift.

No, it's a great gift.

It's not a great gift.

If you've ever had the desire- You can't give that to someone you care about.

It is not a great gift. You can't give it to someone you care about.

Well, then give it as a joke. I mean, seriously.

Why is it not appearing in the Harold for the first time ever? This is an annual tradition that his column appears in the Miami Harold. This particular column is very popular.

Oh, yeah, and it is on Substack as well, and hopefully with my listeners and viewers.

But why doesn't it appear in the Harold? You're promoting it fine. You're not answering my question or coming close to answering my question.

I don't want to get in Dave Berry's personal business with the Miami Harold. What are you doing, Dan? I can just tell you that this year, it's on Substack.

What gift giver are you?

I'm a terrible gift giver. That's why I adopted the whole philosophy of I don't believe in holidays and birthdays, because I don't like giving gifts. Just that part of my brain doesn't exist. It's not like the part of my brain where I don't want to give a gift. The part of my brain of knowing what is a good or a bad gift. Because that stresses me out, I tell people, Don't bother with my birthday, and that way I don't have to bother with yours. Really, it's all a defense mechanism.

Do you get mad at somebody if they get you a birthday gift?

Absolutely. Come on. I really get upset. I get upset.

Tell you what, my birthday is next month. Feel free to get me something Do you have any- You know what I'll get you? Go ahead.

I'm sorry, Dan. No. I'll get you the mirror for the toilet so you can see when you're wiping. There you go. Sound like a good gift.

Hey, everyone. It's Jeremy here. Happy holidays. I know that during the holiday season, my personal favorite part is getting to spend time with family, spend time with friends, reminiscing over years past of the holidays that we spent together before. But in my case, there have been some years I haven't been able to be around, mostly because of work. I'm lucky to live near my family. But I know for some of you, that might not be the case. And if there's distance between you or even if it is a work conflict, you don't have to feel disconnected from your family during the holidays. And a great way to stay connected is one800flowers. Com. Because they make it easy to bridge miles, to bridge distance, to bridge time with gifts that just say, I'm thinking of you, so that the people who have always made your Christmases magical still feel close, even when they're far away. As I recently ordered the Peppermint Rose Bouquet for my wife, it was gorgeous. Super vibrant, looked freshly picked, and it instantly brought this burst of holiday cheer into our household. It was really wonderful. It made her really happy. Beat the holiday rush and save up to 40% off Christmas bestsellers at one800flowers.

Com That's 1-800 flowers. Com/dan for up to 40% off Christmas bestsellers.

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Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. You know what I'm going to be doing on Christmas Day, and it's going to be watching Marty Supreme because I didn't even need to know that critics were calling Marty Supreme a full-throttled masterpiece and the best movie of the year. I already knew that was going to be the case. From A24 and starring Timothée Chalamet, alongside powerhouse cast Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa Ozion, and Tyler O'Koma, Marty Supreme. Christmas Day, only in theaters.

Dan Levatard. My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs.

Stugatz.

It's a good algorithm.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz. Do you have any Yannis information for us on the way out? What do you think is going to happen here?

I had a conversation with Kevin O'Connor on his podcast yesterday about Yannis, and particularly the San Antonio Spurs. Should the Spurs make a move for Yannis? I've been thinking about it a lot, Dan, and especially after the game on Saturday night, my feeling is like, no. For a for a couple of reasons. Number one, very realistically, looking at this team, and it's not just Wembenyam, it's Stefan Castle, it's Darren Fox, it's Dylan Harper, all of these guys with marginal improvements, just a steady improvement that we would expect of the guys that young, they're going to be competing for an NBA Championship within the next two years. You start there, then you say they're all on rookie scale contracts other than Fox. It's like you have cost certainty, you've got low cost, you've got guys who are all around the same age group. Why would you cash those pieces in that will be Championship contention worthy in no time for a guy who's in his 30s and makes a lot of money and has a very particular style of play? It's not on Alcañones. It's just, Hey, we're baking this cake 400 degrees at 40 minutes.

Why are we trying to jack it up to 800 degrees and short change this process? I think I logically went through it, and I'm not reporting it, But I feel like the Spurs are not going to be getting Giannis and Acunpo just because the cost does not outweigh or it does outweigh the benefit that they're going to get from getting them.

I mean, it feels like the best time to do it was when they had the second pick in the draft, and you have the mystery box of, we have the second pick, package all those things and try to get Giannis in the offseason. Now you already know what you have in Dylan Harper. Vasselle has been good. Obviously, Stefan Castle is the best guy in that draft. You start looking around the piece, they're like, all right, we have these pieces. The best time would have done it, would have been doing it during the NBA draft.

Yeah, but you know what's funny, Tony, is usually when we say that, we mean like, Hey, now that we actually use the pick and got the guy, it's not quite as sexy to the other team as far as acquiring. It's like, Oh, it's a mystery box that's somehow more tantalizing than a good player that you draft.

Let me pin you down, though. He said he- Hold on.

Go ahead. Hold on. Let me finish the point. But in this case, it's a case of however good the Spurs thought they were going to be on draft night, now playing 25 games. They're better. Holy shit. We're a lot better. We're a lot better. So back in offseason, we can get Giannis. Oh, that'll put us in another echelon. But now it's like, we're already in that echelon without him.

He says he wants to play in the sun in a big market. You know any place that has one of those?

Anaheim. The Anaheim Amigos.

All right, go ahead and get rid of him. There is no such thing as the Anaheim Amigos, a useless contribution by him. Greg.

Hold on, Greg. The Anaheim Amigos. You hear with me? And the San Diego Kiss the doors. Where did they play, Greg?

Damn right. Aba, baby.

Thank you. Hello.

See you later. Get out of here. Not what I wanted to hear from you. I wanted to ask you about Miami, giving me the basketball team in Anaheim. Not helpful, not useful, but you got to throw the show to Greg so he could help you there.

Thank you, Amine. Just like we planned it. Vegas really got that, man.

Yeah, that's a problem with Vegas and him. They shouldn't be together. It doesn't result in good things after the weekend. Tony, your beloved Jags. They have since the week eight by, they're averaging 33 points a game, and they've scored 25 in seven straight games. Jacobi Myers makes a pretty giant difference for them also.

What's up, Trevor?

Changing also the offensive scheme from going from Brian Thomas Jr. To literally anybody else seems like it's working. And Trevor Lawrence has been playing great football. Liam Cohen, that's why I was so high on the Jags when they made the move to go get him. He was a lot of the behind the scenes stuff with Baker having such a good resurgence in his career. It's like, If we can start moving that over a little bit north to 904, all of a sudden, Trevor Lawrence could be somebody that in this conference, why can't the Jags make a run?

Cody, do you have any opinions here? Because the AFC feels like it's filled with flawed teams.

It does. I would put the chargers probably on top of the AFC along with Buffalo.

I would not. Their offensive line problems are too big. It's true. Herbert can't be hit that much. You're just asking for him to get hurt. He's getting hit more than any quarterback in the league. He's already playing a little physically broken. That's fair.

I would probably put Buffalo and the chargers, despite what you say, on top of a wide open company.

Greg, but the Jags beat the chargers 35-6.

And Denver. Don't sleep on Denver.

You just slept on them while... You just woke from your slumber to remember that Denver was in there. You can't say, Don't sleep on Denver while sleeping on Denver.

No, I almost slept on them. No, you were. I was draußen. No, no, no. Here's Here's what happened. It was me. So let me express what happened because I was the one living it. I was draußen.

You were laying in your bed. You were crisscross applesauce.

Right. Yes. Which I can do again.

People around here cannot be trusted to be correct about their self-assessment. For example, I have now been told that we have located an assortment of Zaz tweets from the last 13 years that say the same things about Jimmy Cefalo and the Dolphin Broadcast that are being quoted in the article on awful announcing. It seems obvious to me that you are one of the sources on this awful announcing list of worst local NFL broadcasters. They're putting up... Look at you. You're being very critical there. Matthew, if you had Jimmy Cefalo calling them the Redskins in the first quarter, you're a winner is what it is. You're coming after Jimmy Cefalo from a number of different angles. God forbid, Jimmy Cefalo can tell the difference between Jarvis Landry and Devante Parker.

Oh, it's an old one.

Devante Parker.

I thought he and Jake Cutler were going to be magic together.

This Jimmy Cefalo is so awful. In the car for just a few minutes, and you have no idea what's happening. It's true. But you're heckling Jimmy Cefalo on Twitter.

Ten years later, still true.

In the car for one minute, already have Cefalo calling him Jakeem Hunt.

Who's he even talking about there?

Good start for Jimmy Cefalo. First drive of the game, and he doesn't realize how the field flips after the 50. Think the 33-yard line is the 27.

That's a major error, Dan.

First time I've listened to the Dolphins radio call in a long time. First two, it was sacked, then it was intercepted. Ended up incomplete. Cefalo still got it.

That was this year. I remember that. That's the play I was talking about. That was this year.

It seems obvious that you were the source on this. Well, what?

It's tough to deny this point. Heaven is mounting.

Another couple of football things that I wanted to get to. I just want to check in week to week as we do around here. Jerry Jones, still a good GM?

No.

Michael Pars He's got hurt?

Not this week.

You can't control that.

Not this week? Okay. Not anymore. The other thing, and this probably shouldn't be something that happens quietly, given that TJ Watt is pretty good, the collapsed lung thing seems horrifying.

Yeah, it sure does. It seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Is this the Tyrod Taylor, the puncturing of the lung? Sounds like it. What is the collapsed lung information that we can... As I was reading some of the details on this, I was like, Man, it had to be scary for T. J. Watt. These guys have such high pain thresholds that by the time they get to the hospital, it's something that they really don't want to be doing. I can't imagine what was happening with the pain and the breathing.

Yeah, what happens when you get a collapsed lung? Can you still breathe? What happens?

It collapses. Being serious. You have the other lung. It's dry needling, though, different than the Tyrod Taylor situation, which he was taken a- What's dry needling? I think Dan does dry needling.

You know about that dry needle? It's acupuncture. Acupuncture is dry needling, but I'm not going to have needles on my lungs.

That's a long needle, though, to go dry needling. Acupuncture is very surface area, though, right? Very much so. You're talking about a needle that's going to go in 6 inches into the back into your lung? That's crazy.

Well, just take an aspirant, will you? You could not pay me. Literally, you could not pay me to take a 6-inch needle in my body.

But you said earlier in the show, you'd pay $11,000 not to see John Senna's last match.

Yeah, or any professional wrestling match.

If you paid $11,000, wouldn't you rather just go?

No. You know what I would do? I would go to that city, have a nice meal out.

You can now.

What?

That's his Joe Zagaki. What is not the reaction to that, Greg, to inside jokes on the show that are- That's funny. What is that?

I wanted more of the Zagaki, though. I need an Ed Williamson Cadillac reference. I I need something.

Can you give me the-Williamson is Miami. The Against the Spread.

Don Louisville is going to win this bowl game.

The Against the Spread music, please.

Against the Spread.

That's right. Against the Spread is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings. That's right. The Crown is yours. Roy, what do you got?

All right, we got our Panthers at Lightning tonight. The Lightning are tied for the lead in the Atlantic division with Detroit, but has lost five of the last seven while the Florida Panthers have won four of the last five. The Underdogs in the Lightning's last eight games have won six times, and that's what the Panthers are, and that's what I'm going with tonight. The Panthers had one and a half goals against the spread. Go with them today.

Mike Ryan.

I'm going to take the Texas Longboard. It's minus six and a half. Hey, give me that. Things are going bad at Michigan, so I don't even know who's going to play. So I'm going to take the long ones.

I can't say spread.

I can't say spread.

I can't say spread.

Folks, listen up. You know my holiday pattern by now. Every single year, I tell myself, Listen, Chris, you're going to be thoughtful this year. You're going to get good gifts. You're not going to be lazy. You're not just going to get gift cards. And this year, guys, I have news. I pulled it off. No panic, no sad little card. You know what I gave? I gave an aura frame. Why is it so hard to find a personal gift these days? It's for the people I'm closest to, my parents, my wife, my in-laws, my kid, the most important people in my world. I have no idea what I'm supposed to get them as a gift. But one thing I know, people light up when they get photos. People love photos. So I loaded up my aura frame with all the moments I know they'll love, my daughter being adorable, random selfies, group pictures where none of us are looking in the same direction. I kept adding them because Aura lets you send unlimited photos and videos right from your phone anytime. And the best part, you can preload the thing before it even ships. So when it's open on Christmas morning, all the memories are already there.

I'm telling you guys, this is a great gift. And folks, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes. Com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames, named number one by Wirecutter, by using promo code DLB. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frame, sell out fast. So order yours now and get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

The World Cup is coming back to North America for the first time since 1994. 48 teams, these giant stadiums, the whole continent turning into one massive party I cannot wait. But actually getting tickets to any of this? Yeah, that part? Brutal. That's why the GameTime app has been a total lifesaver. It gives the advantage back to us, the fans. You can track price drops in real-time. Get alerts when seats opened up. Grab tickets the second they hit the app, all back by the game time guarantee. I'm on the app looking at World Cup matches in Miami because you know I am not missing that. I'm scrolling through every section in the building, behind the goal, midfield, wheel, lower bowl, upper bowl, and the deals are good. I had great seats locked in within minutes. The experience is so simple and intuitive. Two tabs and I'm done. And the price, no surprises. Fees are included. The seat views are my favorite feature, and you'll get a full panoramic look before you buy. Take the guesswork out of buying soccer tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase.

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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister must be drink ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

Damn, that's cold.

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume imported by Mass Jäger Meister US, White Plains, New York.

Dan Levatard.

Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45.

Stugatz.

Shred 'Em.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz. The big news from yesterday's football play has to be Bill's Patriots because we will get tired of even droning excellence in football, even in America's most popular sport, even when it comes to the Rams dragging the lions, correct? The Rams are so consistently good at this point that that becomes the lesser story. Them dragging the lions and being unstable offensively becomes a lesser story. The two Rams losses that we've got this year are a bit fluky, right? They were up a giant amount against the Eagles and end up coughing up the game. But the Rams have been a special excellent this year. But the football everyone's talking about is Bill's Patriots, correct?

Yeah, that was the game of the week, I think.

And it's because I don't believe that either the Bills or the Patriots are better than Rams or Lions. I don't believe that they're better than Rams or Lions. Do you? Do you guys both believe that that game that we're talking about because Josh Allen is coming back, because you've got more future at quarterback than past, right? Because you're looking at the Lions and the Rams and you're thinking past, even though Stafford probably should win the MVP award, You're looking at the top of the division. You're looking at in the Patriots, a team that historically has a storyline that makes people more interested in them. But yes or no, you guys agree with the assessment that both of the teams playing in Rams-Lions are better than both of the teams playing in Patriots' Bills.

I think the Rams are the best team of those four.

But you're not willing to concede to me that the Lions are losing, at least in part in that conference, because they play in that conference, and it's harder than what it is that the Bills and the Patriots are doing.

I just don't think the Lions have the defense to be talked about as a Superwoman.

But the Bills and the Patriots have the record that they do as it's good as it is, at least in part because they get to play all the Saints and all the Carolina and the Bucks and all the crud in that division. It's the reason that the records are as good as they are. The Bills are an incredibly flawed team. They've got a great quarterback, and everything What else about them is either injured or wrong.

I mean, their defense is really good. The Bills? No, the Rams. They're not a flawed team.

I'll back you up here. I got Detroit fourth in that group. Really? Fourth? Yeah. I think if the Patriots and the Lions play 10 times-I think offensively, they're second.

I think offensively, I think the Rams are first. I think the Lions are better than the Bills, and I think the Lions are better than the Patriots.

I don't think it's this huge golf. I don't.

I think we're all together. That's fine. I'm just making something conversational here around what it is that happened yesterday and how much we love story lines, right? Because you can be Droning Excellence, which the Patriots and the Rams have been this season, and we'll follow the storyline of, Oh, Josh Allen was down 21. Drake May would like his MVP trophy. Josh Allen is not quite ready to give it away. At the end of the game, even Vrabel is running scared from Josh Allen, even though he wants Drake May to take Josh Allen's position at the top of the conference. The Bills going into New England and doing that feels like more of a statement than we've gotten from anyone in the league over the last month of, No, not yet. You're not ready for this yet. Your offensive line is injured, and you're going to need to do more than score 30 to beat us.

I mean, look, we could fast forward to the start of the playoffs. I would say the Bills going into the playoffs, Bills are going to be the top story, right? Going into the NFL postseason. No Patrick Mahomes, maybe no Lamar Jackson. No Burro. No Burro. This has to be the year for the Bills. I think the Bills are the most interesting story, AFC or NFC, once the playouts begin.

And you can see them losing at Houston like they just did because Houston's defense is good. You can see them losing against Denver because Sertan is back, and that defense is even better. You see them losing to the Chargers because the Chargers defense can do that at Kansas City.

And a bad match up against the Jags. All of a sudden, the Jags come out and you're like, Oh, wow, they beat the Bills.

Yeah, everybody's flawed. Seattle, I think, is a really, really good team But Sam Darnal leads the NFL in turnovers, including a bunch of- Can you do me a favor, Jeremy?

That stat I gave earlier in the show where I said there have been six times this season that the Bills have given up 185 or more rushing yards. They're four and two in those games. Can you tell me how many bad teams that's against and how many good teams that's against? Because you're not going to be able to allow that rushing total. And Ed Oliver will make a difference there if he's healthy. But you will not win a playoff game against a good team, allowing those rushing totals, even if you have Josh Allen. You're playing with too much fire there when they're four and two, but they can't actually stop the run. And I thought the way the Patriots were going to beat them yesterday is the way that game started, which is just keep handing the ball off and keep Josh Allen off of the field, but the Bills end up scoring touch downs on five straight drives in the second half out of nowhere because they couldn't continue to play the football that just handed the ball off. I just don't think that you can have those kinds of weaknesses on defense and win three playoff games.

That's asking so much of Josh Allen as to be unreasonable, and he'll end up getting blamed for running into one of these bad defenses if a team like Houston slows him in Houston.

But aren't they always asking so much of Josh Allen, and then he's just going up against Patrick Mahomes in the end. And it's too much to ask at that point because Patrick Mahomes can make the very same place.

But he's done so with better defenses than this one and less injured defenses than this one, and he's lost in the playoffs. It's not Patrick Mahomes this time, but going up. If he's got to go through the equivalent, and I haven't looked at the brackets yet or how this shakes out, but that the defenses you have to go through Are Denver, Houston, and the Chargers?

Yeah, but they have to go through Josh Allen.

Right now, they would face Jacksonville in the first round of the class.

Josh Allen is a wizard. He's this incredible card to pull. I understand that the Bills are hurt and their defensive metrics aren't great. But I trust the personnel on the defensive side of the ball. Ruso, Bosa, Milano always making big plays. Are they supposed to get Ed Oliver back?

Ed Oliver tore his bicep in October, so it's going to be tough unless they make a super late playoff run, maybe late January, but it's going to be tough.

I trust the personnel on the defensive side of the ball to make a couple of plays to keep that in arm's length so Josh Allen can just be Josh Allen.

So the bills are four and in those games you mentioned, Dan. The rest of the NFL is 4-26 when they allow 185 rushing yards or more in a game. The six teams where this happened, the Ravens, the saints, the dolphins, the dolphins, the Bucaneers, and the Patriots, the two losses are to Atlanta and Miami.

You're going to have a hard time in the playoffs with that. If you're allowing a bunch of rushing yards, you're not going to be facing any bad teams in the playoffs.

No, but I do think Josh Allen is capable of scoring against the great defense. I don't see Houston holding him to 17 points.

They did last time they played. They held him to 19 the last time they played.

Okay, but that's tough doing twice in a row.

I mean, I get it. No Mahomes, maybe no Jackson this year in the playoffs, but they haven't made the Super Bowl any of those other years. This will be the first year of all these years that they'll have to by winning three road playoff games. This is literally going to be their toughest route to do it, and they've never been able to do it.

Well, clearly, the NFC is better, and DraftKings' latest Super Bowl odds have the Rams as the favorite and Seattle Seahawks second. Then Denver and Buffalo are tied for third in the odds. I think it's fascinating. I know TV is already bemoaning the absence of the Kansas City Chiefs. I think it's going to be a fascinating playoff because for the first time in years, I think we're going into it saying any of six or seven teams can be in a Super Bowl, and it will be a refreshing matchup.

The thing that happened, though, with the Chiefs yesterday, because I still maintain Caine, even with the Bills and the Patriots playing that game, and even with the Rams and the Lions playing that game, the biggest story in the sport every week, and OKC is like this in basketball now. Okc, when they win, it doesn't matter. When they lose, people will notice. Kansas City losing when it's been nine straight divisions, seven straight AFC Championship games, and three straight Super Bowl. I was taken aback yesterday, even while just watching for them to become the big story by being eliminated, when it got a whole lot worse than that, the moment that Mahomes went down that way, and everyone started questioning, Oh, will they be able to get back up off of a knee given the salary cap condition, given the age of their coaches, given how much money they've got tied up in Chris Jones, who didn't even know until after the game that he had been eliminated.

These guys are so dialed in.

No, that doesn't sound dialed in. That sounds the opposite of dialed in to not know that you've been eliminated. Listen to Chris Jones. They got a lot of money tied up in Chris Jones. Listen to Chris Jones after the game saying, I didn't know that we were eliminated. Still have a fighting chance. Are we out of the We are. Okay. That's the wimpering end of a dynasty right there. I'm sorry, we're out. Go ahead and play that again. I didn't have it all going like this where we were just like, Oh, is that over? Is it all over? Is it over forever? Still have a fighting chance. Are we out of the play? We are.

Okay. Well, guy didn't follow current events.

I like the reporter who once he says, We still have a fighting chance.

Like, wrong.

He was looking out in this crowd. You can hear him like, We still got a fight. Is that someone's doing that? Somebody? And somebody's shaking their head and he's like, We got to fight Jets? No. Okay.

You can hear the spot where he sees a reporter saying, No, basic math has eliminated you guys. You didn't know that, did you? Are we out of the playoffs?

We are.

Okay. That's how I felt when you guys told me UM had 17 first rounders and LSU had seven. Are we out of the playoffs?

We are.

Okay. Okay. You guys-The squeaky chair. Did you guys... Let me hear it again. Okay.

Clive Edwards, Hilar.

We need some WD 40 on that chair. Sounds like a Rusty Gate swinging open. Are we out of the play? We are. Okay. You guys think that the football watching fan had same reaction I did, which is I was tuning in to see the funeral. Oh, this is a little worse than I thought it was going to be because now is this going to go into the middle of next season? You can't have your... There's only one injury on that team that can happen like that to make it feel like that. And it was like, Oh, is this really over? Am I overreacting to say the whole thing is over now because they're going to have to wait until the middle of next season and they're still going to be throwing Chad Hennie out there as the backup- No, Minchou. I'm saying it's going to be Chad Hennie.

What is Chad Henny? I'm going to look for Chad Hennie in that.

I'm saying it's going to be Chad Henny at the beginning of next season.

He's coming back like Rivers, Chad Henny.

I don't think it's in the middle of next season. The guy's coming back from that ACL way quicker.

Nine to twelve months. What if he's the twelve?

Sometimes it can... We've seen guys get hurt there and be ready for the beginning of the season.

Chad's last season, 2022 for the Chiefs.

Again, I know, but it's still going to be Chad Hennie. I know He had that one big first down, though, Dan, you remember?

He had that one drive. Long drive. And that's the point with Patrick Mahomes. We've seen him so many times. A leg go this way, a knee go that way, and then he just gets up and continues to play. And this time I was like, Oh, no, wait, this is really bad.

I've always wondered about how he'd age. He's a big guy, and he leans on his athleticism. That's going to be diluted coming off of that knee injury. And I know it happened at the exact same time, Brady's happened, but braided was playing a different ball game. Oh, my God.

Stop comparing him to braided.

Walking his footsteps, Zaz.

This is the first time since 1998, we're going to have a postseason in the NFL that won't have Manning, braided, or Mahomes.

I was three years old.

Funny.