Transcript of The Big Suey: TVT New

Sag mal, Nikola, hast du auch immer dieses Gefühl, bei der Steuererklärung mit einem Bein schon im Knast zu stehen?

Boah, nee, gar nicht. Wieso Steuer ist so die Steuer-App, mit der ich wirklich nichts falsch machen kann? Wow. Das heißt, damit ist alles sicher? Ja, genau. Wieso Steuer ist die Steuer-App, die dich versteht. Weil Steuer betrifft ja dein ganzes Leben. Arbeit, Kinder, Partner. Du kannst nichts falsch machen.

Stimmt. Nice. Fühlt sich gar nicht wie Steuern an.

Steuern erledigt? Safe. Mit Wieso Steuer? Jetzt kostenlos testen.

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Habitual Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

I just think you're cute. Not so cute today. Tried to catch it.

Not so cute this I should have waited a little longer. Just wait it out. Just see how long it takes them.

So the NFL combine is going on right now. It's like, who cares?

Did you see Ruben Bane sucks?

Well, I told- Small arms.

Yeah, he's a bad football player now.

Hold on.

The photoshopping of his arms.

I saw that one.

I was like, What?

That's so good. Okay, good. Because I saw a picture and I'm like, There's no way that's real. So there is a Photoshop one out there.

I shouldn't have said anything. I gave it away.

He's got like, Alligator arms. That's not real, right? No, it's fake. Because you can't draft that.

No. I love people just finding out right now that Ruben Bane doesn't have the prototypical size and has small arms. This has been the book on him. T-rex arms. It's why he wasn't a five-star. He is incredible against the run. He is a ferocious pass rusher. And there's still some mock draughts with dudes that play a similar position that have shorter arms than him.

Now is not the time for arms.

I don't know if you saw, though, yesterday at the... Teams that are really bad, their coaches should pay real attention at the combine. Those are teams that really need to know what's going on. Wouldn't you agree, Dave? If you're a coach- Sound counsel. If you're a- You should pay attention. If you're a coach and your team sucks, you got to pay attention to the combine.

Well, what it shows is that the combine is outmoded in a lot of ways. I mean, it is pretty obvious beyond to tell at this point, the Jags and Rams don't attend. A lot of people have pulled back. A lot of teams have pulled back the number of people that they put out there. There are other methods to evaluate these guys that are better. And what you'll learn is, obviously, it's a face-to-face, press-the-flesh opportunity with your peers and the larger community of football people along with meeting these prospects. But what matters ultimately is the tape, and football teams understand that. The tape is what matters. The tape is what matters. Would you agree, though- The game tape- Would you agree, though, more than how fast they run the three cone drills?

Okay, but would you agree that if you're a coach of a bad team, and in this case, let's say the team is the Jets, and let's say the coach is Aaron Glenn. All right?

Oh, man. I'm not going to do this to my guy, man.

I didn't do anything to him. I'm not doing this to my guy. No one did anything to him.

Viral decontextualization. How dare you show what he did?

Viral decontextualization.

How dare I show what he did on national television. Coach Glenn, hit me up.

I will take care of you.

Maybe it was just a long blink.

Wouldn't you assume if you're a coach of a bad team attending the NFL Combine, probably not the place or the time to fall asleep? That's right.

It's usually a cabinet meeting.

So you'll hear Rich Eisen, he's on the broadcast for NFL Network, and he's talking about players here who are doing very fun stuff at the combine. But Aaron Glenn, they show on camera, he would rather get in a schluff.

So Daniel Jeremiah's top 50 prospects as Aaron Glenn looks on for the Jets. Not looking.

Fernando Mendoza, one. Jeremiah Love, who we'll also see on Saturday here on NFL Network, the running back from Notre Dame, too. I mean, Dave, very quickly someone was like, Coach, you're on screen. And he popped up, opened his eyes, started looking around to make sure that, Hey, I'm awake.

I'm here. It's very funny in that cutaway and everything else, but Mike Ryan just said it I mean, if I'm a Jets fan, if I'm a New Yorker, am I supposed to get real worked up about this? There are other people who fall asleep and things that you might make a case are more important.

The combine is a great napping sport.

It seems like it's a good one.

It's like watching golf.

Also, if I'm a Jets fan, I'm already resigned to the fact that Aaron Glenn is probably around for one more season anyway, so I can't really work myself up all that much.

You ever been to a combine? Any of you guys? You have, right? Sure. Do you watch every single minute?

Coming at me about how raw I am about Aaron Glenn taking a nap? I just told you, I don't care that much.

People go to the combine to network. It's like Summerly.

I just said, all right, what matters more is- I'm not attacking you.

We're on your side.

We're on your side.

Hey, let us park our car in your garage.

Why are you closing the garage?

That's the sound of the garage going up. It's open now. Come on in.

We're trying to defend you.

Okay, but I mean, that's not the question, do you only watch the combine if you're there? The question is, do you only watch the combine? And if you're not only watch the combine, do you decide to fall asleep?

You don't decide to fall. He didn't decide to fall asleep. You don't know how hard he's been working. He's burning a candle on both ends here. Come on now. Oh, my God. I snooze while some dude ran. Oh, my God. No, that's not the be-all, end-all of this whole exercise, number one. Number two, so they caught him. You know how many other guys were sleeping in that stadium? Probably the whole stadium. But it just happened to be on him when he caught his nap. Viral decontextualization. I will always be a champion defending the weak and the under trodden about these viral decontextualized videos. Stop it. Stop it, America.

I'm more interested in just where the worst places to wake up are, because I would argue on live TV is pretty high up there in terms of the worst places to wake up.

I'll tell you what killed him. If he had just woke up and just let it up, the fervent, the feverish checking of-How long was I out? No, look, right here. Okay, run it. Let's stumble. All right, here we go. Coach, you're on TV.

Coach, you're on TV. No, I wasn't asleep.

Wait, I'm very alert. Run the whole thing because he looks around. He looks around, it's like, Is the camera here. It's a camera there.

I'm very alert. I couldn't be more awake.

See that? That looked at him, right?

The worst place to wake up is on public transportation after you missed your stop.

That's a bad one. I would argue waking up on the highway, like you're driving to work in the morning, you're like, Oh, that's worse.

Like Beatrix's kiddo did wouldn't be any good in Kill Bill 2. By the way, Football America movie episode coming at you in just an hour or two from now. Guests, Amin and Zaz, and we do a Tarantino character, draft them on other important- Don't plug until you can make sure the guests are there. You were there. We already did it, remember?

I just wanted to make sure.

I will tell the audience- Did you fall asleep?

Did you air in Glenn that show?

Maybe a little.

Me and Zaz were doing a lot of the talking.

I will tell the audience we recorded that show. We had a lot of fun with Quentin Tarantino. It was my favorite. We had a lot of fun with Quentin Tarantino movies. Rachel Nichols out of me. We had a lot I had fun with that episode yesterday, and I highly recommend watching today's episode of Football America. I would love to do that again. Just talk about Quentin Tarantino movies. Are you kidding me?

I'd like to point out, once again, my man blinked for a second, and everyone took that to be he fell asleep. But I'm going to tell you we're the worst.

By his reaction, you could tell he was asleep by his voice. I'm not asleep. I'm alert.

It's because someone yelled at him.

Why are you so invested in defending this behavior?

Two reasons. One, because I'm a champion for viral decontextualization dismantling. That's number one. But number two is because when I was in college, the semester, I was like, I got to get my shit together. You know what? None of these late classes were early morning classes. Sucker. Poly-sci, 7: 30 AM. I said, I'm going to be there and I'm going to be attentive, and I'm going to get good grades or whatever. And so the first couple of classes I would go, and I would doze off sometimes. And then there was a class where I dozed off in the middle of the class. And it's one of those... It's polysight one-on-one. So it's like 300 students, massive auditorium. I woke up, the entire auditorium was empty, save for three or four students at the front who are waiting to talk to the professor. And I'm sitting in the middle. So basically all around me, 360, were students getting up and collecting their things. 300 of them leaving did not stir. All I felt was a pool of drool on my shoulder, and I never went back to that class again.

See, that's what I was just going to say. I never ran into problems like that because I didn't go to the classes in the first place.

Okay, is it worse?

Amishek wins again.

Okay, so worst place is to wake up after dozing off. After dozing off, excuse me. Is that worse? We just saw Aaron Glenn do it at the Combine, to me, the classic, all right, Mike Francesa, Sports Pope, WFAN New York, on Yes Network. This has got to be like a dozen years ago, I would say. A dozen, maybe. Yeah, about a dozen years ago. Here is for the audio audience, Mike Francesa. It's on TV. It's on YES Network. He has Sweeney Murdie, who's a Yankees reporter, on the phone with him. Mike is listening and very clearly falls asleep live on television.

The Yankees took care of them pretty good, if I remember, in the end of that season. There's a three-game set, I think, at Benway, another one in the Yankee Stadium, which they just walked right through.

But otherwise, the late season series- Look, look, look. See, the shoulder's getting weaker. It's a very long page. It's just not the case, finally. It's the first time in a long time.

He's out right now, for sure. The page is very wide, too.

Arnold.

Is part of this. The Yankees have been a little affected by that 10 pitchers lately. Where am I? I'm going to take two of them in this series.

So no matter what the rest of the team is, the guys are talking to the producer like, where am I?

They said something, the guys on the glass. They said something, the guys on the glass. They said something, the guys on the glass. They said, Where am I?

If these pitchers hold the Yankees down, you could be looking at a game where they might lose three to one or four to one.

We're talking with Sweeni, obviously. That is my all-time, obviously. That is my all-time favorite.

I don't like to work blue, but I do have at least one pal that I can think of who has Wait, actually, he says he fell asleep in coitus. But then I've heard of the other way happening. I don't think you ever come back.

Did she fell asleep?

Yeah.

So they both fell asleep in coitus? You may look at me and be surprised to hear this. I happen to be a vigorous lovemaker, so that would never happen to me.

Put that in the club.

But if that did happen to you, I don't know that you ever come back.

Didn't we decide earlier in the week that no one calls it making love? Why?

That's not true. You're right. I'm trying to bring it back or try to make it a thing now. We said no one asks someone else to make love. Oh, yeah, right.

But you can be, as Damosheck says, a vigorous lovemaker.

That's the time.

Thank you. That's one of the two things everybody knows about you, a vigorous lovemaker? I do.

I'm a world champion, Connect 4 player.

I see.

Where do you start?

In the middle?

Where do you throw first one? In the middle? You go wide? Where do you start?

Sure. Yeah, you got to go- Down the middle? Yeah, that's when- I like to go wide. Well, that's a mistake, and you would lose very quickly.

I bet you put the X in the middle and tic-tac-to also.

No, that's not the correct strategy. But either way, just so you know, should you and I ever find the occasion to play Connect 4, I only now play recreationally. I retired some years ago. There was nothing left for me to achieve in the sport that gave me a lot, and I felt that it was disrespectful for me to press on it, something less than my best. I gave everything I had and more to the sport, and it did a lot for me. I'll play it. I'll do exhibitions. What did it do for you?

No, he's spoken like a true goat because I know every time Michael Jordan plays basketball, he just says, Oh, I don't really do this anymore. This is just for fun. I don't care if you beat me. That's not how goats speak. Goats say, I don't care if I'm in a wheelchair.

You know Michael Jordan will still kill you, though, right? Exactly. That's right.

Oh, is that what you're saying?

Are you picking up what I'm laying down?

Fake modesty over here?

No, it's not mine. I just told you, you're not going to get 100% Dave, the world champion, three times over, Connect 4 player. You're not going to get that version of Dave.

A hundred % Dave cannot handle.

I got plenty to defeat you with, though. And Chris Cody, obviously, he's self-defeating. Doesn't take the middle and connect for.

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Don Lebetard. We have a photo right here. If you can see in this photo with my daughter there, I'm pointing exactly to the point on the Stanley Cup where it says, You Suck Ass. Stugatz. Right there.

They engraved it. Really?

They got that engraved in the. Yeah, they got it engraved. Right there, it says, Chris Whittingham Sucks Ass. This is the Dan Leventhal Show with the Stugats.

Let's play another game, though. I'm a man of peace. And that said, I feel like we should bring two of the fellows behind the glass, closer together by creating a division between them.

I went in on this.

Tnt. I wanted to do Mr. Lister, Trade Back and Forth. You say one, then the other says one, and you trade back and forth until one of you runs out. I tried to do that with Tony and Chris Cody yesterday. Unfortunately, before it could get untracked, Chris Cody shouted, Lyons, repeatedly. Yeah, I screwed that up. And ruined it. So you're now out forever. Instead, Tony's new ongoing Foe. Yes, Mike Ryan.

You're going to pit people against one another?

That's right. Oh, yeah.

It's been a good week. Here we go. Tnt, first event, a never-ending decathlon. Or it TVT? It's Tony V. Tasche. In one corner, it's a tall Cuban fella wearing a throwback Raiders' jersey that says nothing about where they play because it doesn't make a difference. They're the Raiders forever. In the other corner, it's a smaller, Semitic fella, wearing a shirt that looks like it came off of an Ottoman. It's Jeremy Tasche. Whoa.

You can say it. I will stand in the middle to represent the political spectrum.

That's right.

You're not closer to me than you are to him.

You'd be surprised.

Can we get some-We got to get on that Cuban thing. Can we get some music- Hey, I'm Cuban, too. That pits these guys against each other?

I'd like that. Can we get some music? Can we find pitting music?

Music that portrays a battle.

You don't even know what the category is. How do you know you're going to kick his ass? It doesn't matter. I just hope we both have fun. I was meditating on what category, and I think this suits you both. Since I like to talk about football on football America, that makes sense to start there. Everybody knows about football. Here we go. Good job. Historic. A lot of names on this one. Super Bowl losing starting quarterbacks. Tony, since you vanquished Cody with a plum yesterday, you go first.

Super Bowl losing starting quarterbacks.

That's what I said. Let's not do the nonsense of vaping around and repeating. I'm going to start with Jake May. The question. Greg May is listening.

Everyone knows that trick. You say it again, it gives you more time to think.

That's right. I said the most recent one. Tom braided. Tom braided has lost more than one Super Bowl. In fact, a backup QB in one instance. Tony, you're up.

Let's go with Jimmy Garoppolo.

Jimmy G lost a Super Bowl. Patrick Mahomes. He really could have won it. Patrick Mahomes has lost one.

Let's go to Joe Burrow.

I like the let's go. Jared Goff.

Okay.

Let's go to Peyton Manning.

Kurt Warner.

Let's go to- Couldn't beat that Picksberg Stealers. Let's go to Damarino.

Any boy. Kurt Warner.

He said it already.

He just said it. He said it already. What do we say? What do we say? I know Kurt Warner lost, too. It popped into my head. I have another game over. You cannot go Kerr Warner twice. You're right. I go Double Up? I can't. No, I can't. Can I go Double Up? I have another.

Matt Ryan. You lost. Tony won.

You want to keep going, Tony? Just to gil to Lilley a little bit, see how far you can get? You just said it, and then it started kicking around my head.

Can we go Cam Newton?

Ethan. Say Kurt Warner. You can go- Can we go- Kurt Warner. In order, Len Dawson, Darryl LaMonica. In order. Wow.

Earl Morrow. You wanted to make this your show? Okay.

I thought it would be fun to show off a little bit. Kurt Warner. I called Jeremy. Now, I'll stop, though. Can I take Colin Kaepernick? If it's beneath you to show off my wear, then I'll lay out.

Can you take him?

Nobody noticed.

Would you? I did.

No, are you? Excellent battle there, Tony.

For too long. Not that good. Tash, hey. I told you I was going to kick his ass.

I told you I was going to kick his ass.

It's like when you're trying to say something else and then somebody says something in your ear and you're trying to type and then all of a sudden you're like, something in your ear.

You got to pay attention. Someone should have said, Ram's Kerr Warner.

Neil O'Donnell. Ben Rothsberger.

Ben Rothsberger.

He lost Aaron Roth. He lost Aaron Roth.

He did. Donovan McNab. Did he?

You remember that?

Dan Humphreys. I didn't see that game.

You remember about Jake Delome. Jody Nelson. You know about that, Jody Nelson?

Listen, I know it all. There's that Super Bowl history.

My gimmick.

What's that?

James Jones. You know about that, James Jones? That's my gimmick, too. James Starks. That was a bad team.

Not great. Rasha I can't get this ask. I'm so mad at myself. I'm so mad at myself. I fumbled at the first play of the fourth quarter, else, Rathesberger has three Lombardis in the span of six seasons, and then, whether you like it or not, is in the conversation for the best Super Bowl era quarterback. He doesn't get it, but if he has three rings in his first six seasons. The train is rolling now.

I'll keep going. Russell Wilson.

Richard Mendenhall.

I love it.

I love that you can keep going.

Matt Hasselbach. I'd like you to go with- You know when you're typing? The best quarter. How about Roger Ball? Someone says something out loud and you just type that. That's what happened to me with Kurt Warner. It just happened in my brain, and I said it out loud. I was thinking about Rex Grossman. Just where the loss. Kilmer. Except the results. I will never. Tarkenton.

Val Kilmer.

You didn't let me keep going because you lost. That's it.

All right, everybody settled down.

We'll play again in November.

Everybody settled down. Okay. You know how sometimes pro sports teams, they'll do promotions at an upcoming game. They'll partner with maybe a local establishment or something, and they'll have a certain promotional night. Well, the Atlanta Hawks. You know about them Hawks?

I know all about them Hawks.

The Atlanta Hawks. Coming up. Did you really?

I worked for the Hawks. It was my first job in the NBA.

Okay. All right. The Atlanta Hawks coming up on March 16th against the Orlando Magic. They have a promotional night where they are partnering with a very fine local establishment. All right? This local establishment is called Magic City. Yes. Now, I don't know, Dave Damoschek, are you aware of Magic City? Yeah. He answered it immediately.

He heard they have good wings.

Magic City, you may remember, very famous. It's a very famous, I'd say the most famous in these United States.

Whoa. Yeah.

Is that Scolets would like a word.

No, it's more famous than Scarlets by a mile. All right. That's a good point. Would you say it's the most famous Magic City?

Montreal and Toronto may be more famous in North America.

Montreal, incredible strip club.

We're not talking about the city. We're talking about the one establishment. This is the most famous- As a what?

Right, probably.

Chris is very eager to play this game.

Speriment Rhino in Vegas is strong.

That's a good one.

That's a strong name. Now, was Magic City very famously the strip club in Atlanta where all the players got in trouble? It was like Patrick Ewing back in the- Gold Club.

That was Gold Club. In there, too.

Okay, so it was not Magic City, nonetheless. You know about Tampa's clubs? Come on now. You know about Mons? Mons V. A. R. You know about right across the street, Space Odyssey? Come on. You ever been on a spaceship?

Does 11 count? It's in the conversation.

I'm not going to let it count. No, 11 is a club that has strips.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree with you. It's not a strip club. Magic City, very famously, is a strip club in Atlanta, which also is very well known, as you may remember from back in the bubble in 2020 in the NBA playouts where Lou Williams, he had an excused absence. I think he went to a family event. I think it was a funeral. It may have been a funeral. He got in trouble because during this excused time off, he went to Magic City for what he claims was just to order the Lemon Pepper wings.

Okay, so I'd like to defend him right here because it's not what he claims. Their wings are world-renowned. When I was in college, we used to go literally just for the food. I'm hungry. What do you want? Let's get the wings from Magic. And yeah, you look at what's happening. But once you get your order, you get your order and you leave.

The wings are tiny.

I've heard Lemon Pepper wings is an overrated flavor. Oh, my God, this call me again.

Hit white, guys. What are you doing? Hold on. Then he mixed lemon pepper with barbecue. Did he?

Lemon pepper is good to mix. They created a flavor.

Just solely lemon pepper.

Lemon pepper is the best flavor of wings in the planet.

That's silly.

Okay, so if I can get back to before we circle back to Magic City and how amazing it is, clearly, the Atlanta Hawks have partnered for a promotional night with Magic City on March 16th against your Atlanta Magic. It's Magic City Monday. That's a halftime show I can get behind. Where they are also giving away, the video audience can see the promotional graphic here, where they are giving away a hooded sweatshirt with Magic City spread across the front and the Atlanta Hawks logo on the side.

And they got the wings in the background.

And he got the wings right behind.

So they're giving out wings?

Okay, so let me read the promotional material here.

Yeah, there you go. Okay.

The promotional material that comes with, Hawks fans are in for a feast. The Magic City Kitchen will be serving its world famous Lemon Pepper Wings. Naturally, the menu will include Lou-Will Lemon Pepper Barbecue, a nod to NBA player Lou Williams, who famously stopped by the joint to pick up some chicken, or so he says, while on approved leave from the NBA bubble.

This is or so he says it?

Yeah, he says it.

Okay, so I like that. This is my camera right here, right? Okay. Atlanta, the Hawks organization. I work for you guys. I got my start in the NBA working for your organization. I had a wonderful time, got my foot in the door, and it was a memorable time. When I say I need that hoodie right here, and I will wear it on the Dan Leventhal show right here. Millions of listeners will see me wearing that hoodie. Promo Department, marketing Department, marketing partnerships, whatever you need. If you need to come to Atlanta and support and do anything, I will do whatever it takes. Just give me the hoodie, please.

I'd like one, too.

I mean, didn't you almost get killed by Rick Mahorn?

Yes. What? Yeah. In Atlanta, right? At a game. It was at a game.

Like when he was on the Pistons broadcast?

No, he was an assistant coach with the Hawks. Oh. Yeah. Rick Mahorn is the first NBA person I ever knew in my life. Because I was walking in. It was my first day. I'm carrying boxes, and Rick Mahorn comes in. It's a game day, and he knocks the boxes everywhere. Why do you do that? And I'm like, What the hell?

How old are you?

Probably like 19 or 20, something like that. He starts laughing. I'm like, What a jerk. And then he would just mess with me. But after a while, I figured, Oh, wait, he's doing a thing. And so we became pretty good buddies. And so the end of the season, I think they had Fan Appreciation Day. They had the guy sign autografts because Rick Mahorn, the Hawks were awful. Rick Mahorn is legitimately one of the biggest names in the organization. That's so bad. So as an assistant coach, he's signing autografts, right? And they got tables, and the fans are lined up down the concourse, down the stairs. So my job is like crowd control. Just stand behind them, make sure people get one autographe and keep it moving. And we just played the cast, Paul Silas is the head coach. Paul Silas is a big dude, right? So Paul Silas walks up behind Mohorn and he goes to me and I'm like, Sure, whatever. And I'm like, Is he going to scare him? Whatever. And he smacks the ever-loving bejesus out of the back of Rick Mohorn's head. I'm talking about... The sound reverberated around the cavernous Philip Center at the time, now State Farm Arena.

And Mahorn turned around, and I've never seen him with that rage in his eyes. And I realized he thinks that I did that.

Why would he think that you did that?

That's what I wanted to know. Why would I do that? And then he looks and he sees Paul Silas, and instantly all the rage drains out, and he starts laughing, and they hug and everything.

Why would that be funny no matter who did it?

Here's my favorite book.

Going forward, Don't Hit Me, and they expect me to laugh about Don't strike me.

I said to him, Oh, wait a second. You're about to kill me when you thought it was me. But Paul Silas is a big joke. And he says, Paul Silas is a bad dude. And I was like, You know what? All right.

I just love the idea that for a moment, Rick Mahorn thought randomly, the kid who I haze decided to finally- To fight back. To finally, out of nowhere, smack me in the back of my head.

I like that Rick Mahorn, who's one of the great bullies in sports history, understood. It's a great message to everybody who isn't as tough as Rick Mahorn is. Like, know your limits.

There's a level beyond me.

I mean, I can destroy Paul Silas, it's in doubt.

Didn't Paul Silas stuff somebody in his locker?

Tyris Thomas. He was a big boy, too. Yeah. Although I hear conflicting reports about how that went down. But yes, Paul Silas is a bad dude.

Don Lebatard. You're getting started on the Breakfast Flaw. Oh, man.

I've been singing a song to myself all morning while I'm, Breakfast Flaw.

Stugatz.

Have you never heard the Breakfast Flawn song?

No, hit me with it. Okay.

I wish I had some, Breakfast Flawn.

Breakfast Flawn.

Where can I find a breakfast like that?

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

Have you ever heard of a professional sports team, we're not talking minor league team, a professional sports team partnering with a local strip club for a theme night at a game?

No, but Magic City is more than a strip. It's an institution.

It's still a strip club.

Yes, but it's an institution. There's a level of... There's David Magic City waiting on his wings.

That's right, and they're not lemon pepper.

You want to rank wing flavors?

I don't want to... I managed to rank. I just made a statement that I'm going to let sit there.

What's the R-E-M of wing flavors?

I like what they're doing. They're doing a lot of great work these days with the Carolina Mustard Barbecue. They Now, it's... What do you mean no? What is it?

Tangy?

Just a mouthful of tang? Mustard. Can have some spice to it. Yeah, the nice mustard. Yeah, the yellow mustard barbecue that's popular on Carolina-style barbecue. So a very obscure flavor is your number one? That's obscure? It's an absolute regional flavor.

In defense of Dave, I did ask for the R-E-M of wing flavor.

You think lemon pepper is more universally- I've never seen mustard as an option for wing flavor. Can I get Carolina mustard?

I'm not a basic Buffalo here.

I disagree. If you go with... You can get cute again, and you can go hipster if you want. What are the core options? Hot garlic. There's there's traditional Buffalo wing. Then there's usually a spicy barbecue. More and more, they're doing a teriyaki for the people that don't like it hot. Lemon pepper is not ubiquitous as many.

I think lemon pepper is a core.

Very common. You heard of Lemon pepper? Where did you stop by saying? Lemon pepper, garlic parm.

Lemon pepper is definitely the rotation.

Lemon pepper is more prominent than even garlic parm, which is pretty prominent. I think lemon pepper is right there trying to overtake teriyaki. Probably has.

I agree. Lemon pepper has made a big push over the last decade or so.

Listen, I- You know what hasn't made a push?

You know what hasn't made a push? I mean, Carolina barbecue mustard, whatever.

Are you crazy?

No push.

You guys just keep just assuming that because you floated out there, that the rest of society is going to pick up on it and make it so. Juju, put it on the bowl. Well, Amin said it into a microphone, and so therefore it must be so. Amin doesn't have to say it. Everybody knows it.

Amin, you put it on the bowl. What's bigger? Lemon pepper or Carolina barbecue mustard, whatever the hell Dave was talking about.

I would like to try it, but no one's on your side.

You've never had Carolina Gold. Roy knows what I'm talking about. What would be the correct her name? I'm not really making much of a case when I can't even say what it's proper name is.

I've had it on ribs. Yeah, it works for pork as well. But I wouldn't pick that, personally.

You're on your own. Your garage is empty.

Roy knows a wing and barbecue.

You think I don't know wings? I was in the BW3 before.

You're about to give us one of your things.

Before it was Buffalo Wild Wings, it was BW3. It was a regional wing place. All through it right. At Midwestern Schools, I think there were six in total. Yes.

A lot of fireworks today.

By the way, Dave, this microphone's Dan's Intermodel.

Don't throw to it.

You don't have to address me. Just let it sit. But everybody's fighting, and that's great.

I went to BW3's Bloomington Branch. Sam doesn't eat wings because it gets his hands dirty.

Attack him.

I don't care. They would have a Monday night wing eating contest, and the standard was- He eats like a four-year-old. Can you eat 50 wings in 15 minutes? I I used almost every second in that first round. Really? Yeah, to eat 50 and 15. Fifteen wings? Five, zero in 15 minutes. Five, zero. Okay. It took me, in fact, 14 minutes and 35 to complete the feat. That's impressive. Three weeks later, I was on to the second round. This time, 70 wings in 20 minutes. I bested my time on the 50 wings. I did better on the 70 because I'm clutch and also because there was no drug testing. Flats or drums? I'll go either one. You're one of those guys, you put the whole thing in and just pull the bone out?

I'm agnostic.

Oh, can you do the trick? What you do is you take it from the top, the double wing, the double bone, and you push it down. You just push it down.

Turn it into a... Yeah.

Yeah, little popper. 70 wings in 14 minutes and 30 seconds. Did the 70 faster than I did the 50 because like I say, no drug testing. Then on to the regional finals, however many wings you can eat in 30 minutes. I got my original batch of 50, ate a couple, gave the rest to my friends, and left a champion.

We've criticized you a lot this week. That's genuinely impressive.

Walked out like a- Good stuff.

I knew I wasn't going to win.

You had nothing to prove.

You said, Guys- I knew what my limits were. Like Rick Mahorn. I turned around and saw the competition and said, I have no shot here.

Zaz barely understands the conversation because he has no point of reference because he doesn't eat wings or rings.

I'm with you. I don't like... You know what? I've gotten the same thing in old age, Zaz. I don't like Lady Macbeth can't wash the blood off her hands. I can't wash the smell of wings off my fingers. It makes me crazy. It's a great smell.

It's gotten you that way in an old age. At any age, he's never liked wings. He's never given it a chance because it's too dirty.

Just living my life, dog.

Why don't you fork and knife it?

A wing?

What's crazy is not eating wings because it gets your hands dirty.

You can fork and knife it.

Whatever. There's so many other great foods. It's not that big. I don't care. It's not a big deal to me. What are you ordering? Hooters. Well, I can't I'll tell you last time I went to Hooters.

I think it was with me. After a Pearl Jam show in Tampa, we went to see the NBA Finals, Celtics-Lakers.

I don't even remember that.

I remember the Pearl Jam show. That was after you made me a sandwich for the car ride, which was very sweet.

All right.

I'm going to defend myself now.

No need to defend that. You're a Sammie maker.

You made me a Sammie for the long road trip.

What sandwich was it? Tuna. You remember that?

That's not true. That's not true. That's in a car?

Okay, here's what happened.

I think it was toasted.

Here's what happened.

I would have thrown out the window. Because it wasn't just like, oh, Zazlo made sandwiches for the car ride.

Oh, you had extra tuna. You had extra tuna, I know.

That's not what happened. Mike likes to frame it like, or Mike leaves it completely ambiguous. People frame it, Oh, we invited Zazla for the road trip. He's going to bring sandwiches for the car. No, that's not the way it went down. I invited Mike Ryan. This is like 20 years ago. It was a long time ago. I invited Mike Ryan to come see with me in Tampa, which, by the way, how about those seats? Great seats.

Kings of Leon open.

Second row on the floor.

All right. This is when Kings of Leon, we're starting to percolate.

Yeah, Kings of Leon open for them. Great show. And we're going to Tampa to go see Pearl Jam. But I told Mike Ryan, I'm like, Look, tickets are on me, of course, but you'll drive. Okay? He said, Fine. And so he came to my house to pick me up, and he was a few minutes early. And as a result of him being a few minutes early, I I was still making myself lunch. I was making myself a tuna sandwich.

Sounds like he's going to bring sandwiches.

That I was going to sit down at my kitchen table and eat by myself. But since he was early, I'm going to have to bring the sandwich in the car now. Oh, but that's rude. If I only have a sandwich for myself. It really wasn't. I made him a tuna sandwich as well. I got into the car with a sandwich for me and a sandwich for my friend. The way the story was told, is that we had a great time and Zazlo made tuna sandwiches.

It sounds like you described that exact thing.

How's your tuna? Is it McConahe level?

I don't know. It's fine.

I remember it was toasted.

I don't remember that part.

I honestly don't even remember driving. That part threw me.

Did you put the windows down at least? I've got Zaz just scooping it onto the bread and that's it. Here's your tuna sandwich. I can't see you actually making a good sandwich.

I think my initial reaction was like, You really don't have to do that. But it was a very kind gesture.

I already did. We were in the car.

You know Mike Ryan better than I do. What I'm clearly picking up, Zaz, is that you think Mike Ryan's words are betrayed by his tone? Maybe.

You think he actually...

What he implies. Somehow you're a sucker for giving him a I'm not going to say that.

So people that make sandwiches for car rides are suckers.

You're very sensitive about this because I said that Zaz made me a sandwich, and it was a very nice thing to do for a car ride.

I know I'm picking up a moquing tone, Zaz. I'm sorry to use a tone. That's a very nice thing.

He wants to make it sound like if If he brings Zazlo places, he'll make sandwiches for the entire car.

Well, I guess the real test is, now I'm going to inform what you do in the future. But if roles were reversed or in an upcoming show, is Mike Ryan going to bring a sandwich for the entire car?

Well, I guess the real test is, now I'm going to inform what you do in the future, but if roles were reversed or in an upcoming show, is Mike Ryan going to bring a sandwich for the No.

Oh, you're right, Zaz, because it's peculiar.

If you're known as a sandwich maker, though, that's a positive, Zaz. If I have a bunch of friends, then I know this guy is going to make me.

Mike Ryan just said it, though. He's like, That's beneath me. I wouldn't do that for Zazlo. I did not say that.

You just said That's not what peculiar means. I said it's peculiar. You just said you wouldn't do it.

No. Honestly, the only part that's peculiar is the tuna part. That's crazy. In a car. That's evil. I get it. You didn't plan to do it in the car.

This was not planned.

A nice little turkey and cheese with a little mayo. Now we're talking all day.

It's a kid's lunch.

I don't like when people make sandwiches for the gang and they put mayonnaise on all of them. Let's not be perception. He cut it in half. He cut it in half.

He cut it in half. He cut it.

Diagonal?

No. He cut it.

Diagonal, which is the way he- I think It was a roll. My guess was it was a roll. I think I was making on a Kaiser.

He's like, You want the crust?

Toaste it with that boy. I, for one, think it's a nice need.

You can toast the Kaiser.

Of course. I think it's really a nice thing to do, even if Mike Ryan wants a mock.

I know it's a nice thing to do.

But what I don't like is that he's having his cake and eating it, too, Mike Ryan, which that cliché should really be changed to he wants to have his cake and some pie because that's really gluttonish. If you give me a cake, I'm going to eat it. If you attack me for that, I'm like, I gave him a cake and he What a slob. Yeah, that's what's going to go on.

That's a very eccentric room that we have over there on that side of the class.

When it means a normal one- I think it's outrageous. I think it's outrageous that you stand here and look a gift horse, a literal gift horse, in the mouth and say, tuna, toasted?

I'm a gift horse.

Peculia. That's your response, peculiar? Not thank you, sir.

It was thank you. It was a nice gesture, and I ate the sandwich.

Then I took a picture of it and put it in the group chat. Now for dessert, You're trying to serve him some humble pie, or I don't know what you're trying to give him.

You're trying to turn him into a punchline. I BBM talk.

I'm a good person. I was like, Hey, look at this.

Bbm. Yeah, here's the kicker. We had a great time. We had a great time. I took him to Pearl Jam. I made him a sandwich on our car ride there. I think we probably split the hotel. I can't imagine that I paid for that whole thing. But we had a great time. It was. When we get back- You shared a room? Yeah, we were kids back then. You know, if you don't have your own room.

We worked in Yeah, we had a year.

Eight, 20 years ago. Okay. We had not many money. Sixteen years ago. Okay. What are you talking about? It was one bet. Right now?

My PD kept stealing my invoices.

Her and Dave does not share a hotel room with anybody outside of a lovin'. No, of course not.

Because of all the years that you had a crash on someone else's rug.

We were so young and poor.

Okay. I forgot what period of time. Do you forget radio?

We had a great time, and I figured, you know what my thank you will be? Maybe the next day on the very popular Dan Lebitard show with Stu Gatz. Maybe they'll have a conversation about that nice Jewish boy, Jonathan Zaslow. The Sandwich Talk. Who took our producer, Mike Ryan, to a Pearl Jam show. And not just that, they had second row on the floor. I didn't know where you were going. Okay? What a great time. And not just that, they had second. What a great time. Pour on the floor. Instead, I turn on the radio and the conversation is how when you take a car ride with Zazlo. He makes tuna sandwiches for everyone.

Turned you into some an ass.

Well, that's because I BBM'd hack a photo of the sandwich. And he's like, This is strange. I'm like, Yeah, a bit peculiar.

You gave him a nice pat on the back. And what did he say? He accused you of putting a knife into his back. It's outrageous.

I will say, though, I like Pearl Jam because of Zaz. I wasn't a Pearl Jam guy. He knew that, but he knew I'd be a good hang for a concert. He introduced me to Pearl Jam and Kings Leon, who I wasn't up on at the time. I'm grateful for that.

Kings of Leon is that.

Yes, that's the one. They sound just like that.

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.

Everything else?

Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day?

Well, that's just a personal decision.

Brushing your teeth?

Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never PP on an electric fence.

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jägermeister. That's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Jägermeister L'Core, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jägermeister US, White Plains, New York.