Transcript of The Big Suey: Respect Yourself

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
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00:00:02

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

00:00:11

I'm sorry.

00:00:12

I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the I bet you a liar.

00:00:31

This episode of the Dan Leventard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

00:00:41

You're very pleased with your shots there.

00:00:42

I love the little pause there.

00:00:43

Four seconds, everybody. That was four seconds.

00:00:45

That's the good stuff right there.

00:00:46

The pause is what feels good.

00:00:48

That silence. I just love it. I don't know why. Can I do it again?

00:00:51

Sure.

00:00:52

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is That was fast.

00:01:00

That was three seconds.

00:01:01

That makes it more yours, right? To put your signature on it.

00:01:04

I just got chills.

00:01:05

I think you need to be more of a spokesman for DraftKings just doing it that way because not everyone can do it that way, and that's the correct way to do it. Everyone's doing it all over. No one's doing it like It's a Gack.

00:01:15

I saw Kevin Hart and Shaq, and they definitely did that. No, they're not.

00:01:20

They ran through it.

00:01:21

Draftkings' counter is yours.

00:01:22

Draftkings' commercials, nice houses. Man. Always.

00:01:26

The LeBron one is good, too.

00:01:27

It'd be wild if LeBron is in a small apartment in commercial.

00:01:30

All right. I have a conundrum, and I need the help of the group here because it is a legitimate complication after 20 years of doing this, and specifically the last five years of doing it. Media is collapsing. Independent microphone is important. I'm very grateful to the audience that rides with us so that we can do daily what we have done and less well the last five years because we've buried it in sports to hide and help you laugh at the ridiculousness of the country falling apart around you. I don't feel like it's hyperbole to say that. I don't feel like it's propaganda. We risked everything to have these microphones be free so that I could live that, so that you could just see my family live it. My family live it because my dad wanted me to believe in journalism, and now you just see it all gets ravaged.

00:02:17

Your dad wanted you to believe in?

00:02:19

My dad... We make the joke about the Freedom Tower's next door. It's the first place my father was in this country, and we're talking about him being a casino greeter for Trump Library in a couple of years because this is Cuba. We learned nothing from the lessons of Cuba. Miami became Cuba, the United States became Cuba because we didn't understand the very basics of, do you people not understand when you have freedom, you have to protect it vigilantly? You can't just give it away to any just orange vanity poser who...

00:02:49

I feel like you're talking about someone specific now.

00:02:52

But seriously-Staying here, huh? One of the most insulting parts of everything happening in this country is the idea that the power could be taken this cravingly by just a moron. Just a total moron.

00:03:04

Dan, Dan, not a moron. A creamsicle moron. Well, not a creamsicle. A creamsicle who exhibits the behavior of a moron. Come on, guys.

00:03:14

All right, but Amine is sitting here lamenting, as am I, because the audience thinks, I don't feel this and know this. I'm sitting there in the middle of our fake pregame show before the meeting where it's like, Bigger. I'm listening to Amine and Mike Ryan, and I'm like, Where's the magic crate music? God Almighty, where's the magic crate? But the problem we have is the sensibilities of magic crate. We're always being run by the guy who was gasbagging there, Mike Bryant. Yeah.

00:03:42

So what happened?

00:03:44

I was afraid to hit it. You were afraid. It's part of the problem around here. It was a serious conversation. I'm glad we're having it. And we had it. So can we move on?

00:03:53

To biggest game in 20 years.

00:03:55

Play the music now.

00:03:57

To biggest game in 20 years. I interrupted Amin on the way to his vantage point. Amin has cared more about college football, I think, the last three years than he has in the last 25, at least in part because he's been able to laugh at the University of Miami through the face of Georgia Tech being good for the first time in his lifetime?

00:04:14

Georgia Tech being good?

00:04:15

Georgia Tech being- Sir, respect yourself. Forgive me. Georgia Tech being better as a relevant national name than Miami. Georgia Tech has not been in a Miami- Sir, respect yourself. What is that condemnation?

00:04:28

What are you saying? It's a condemnation about the 1999 Yellow Jackets led by my good friend and neighbor, Joe Hamilton, second in high as in voting. The only team that scared us down was Florida State, and we lost by six at Tallahassee. You know why? Because Peter Warrack was the best football player I've ever seen in my life. Yes. In my life.

00:04:49

Yes, he was very good.

00:04:50

He was very good.

00:04:51

Yes, he was. He was. He was.

00:04:52

He was respectful so much. Dan, respect yourself.

00:04:53

Respect yourself. You're not respecting yourself right now.

00:04:59

It's such a great T-shirt. I mean, shouting at somebody, respect yourself, because I dared to not mention the 1999 Golden State yellow jacket, to call them. But yes, your interest in college football, you thought you had the Heisman Trophy winner this year before the last couple of games of the season?

00:05:20

I'm going to say this. I don't think he was going to win it, but not because he wasn't deserving, but because college football is bought and paid for. It's corrupt, man. They had their little in club and like, Oh, my God, these guys are different. We're not going to get... I know it's not a level playing field from that vantage point. But having said that, I'm proud of what the yellow jackets did. I'm proud of Haynes King.

00:05:43

Another acceptance speech.

00:05:44

Yeah, no, I'm proud. I'm real proud. But I did that- He was proud to be a yellow jacket this year was my point.

00:05:50

He got to wave the flag of Alma Mater allegiance publicly, and it felt good with pride.

00:05:55

I won't lie, it did feel good. It felt good when they were winning, and then when they started losing Oh, yeah. Who cares?

00:06:01

Well, but you only started losing at the very end because you had a lot of quarterback and not a lot else. You weren't that much worse than Miami most of the season, which is probably why it is a whole lot of people are frustrated today. I do wonder this, actually, because I don't know the answer to the question I'm about to ask.

00:06:19

Wait, you don't know the question you're about to ask? This is amazing.

00:06:23

I don't know the answer. Oh, okay.

00:06:25

I was like, Whoa, I wonder this is how Trump feels. I don't know what I'm about to say next.

00:06:30

That could be a T-shirt, too.

00:06:32

I don't know what Miami's or America's routing interests are tonight. Oh, I know. Tonight. Well, so help me here because you say what's best for the show? I always assume that half of the country rooting for Miami to lose is what makes Miami the brand that it is nationally, even though it hasn't been this relevant in 20 years. Because Miami will do numbers tonight because it's Miami, Miami of the four remaining will be the most interesting one to America, but not the most polarizing unless you're using only the history of Miami as a program and a city because these kids haven't done anything to misrepresent anyone in Miami.

00:07:14

Nobody cares about that. It is the most polarizing, right? In terms of Indiana, that's like, Oh, shucks, that's a nice story. Oregon, they're usually good. Ole Miss, people feel sorry for them. That's the team their coach walked out on. Man, that's who people are... Forget What about Miami? People are going to be rooting for Ole Miss just because that's the team that coach walked out on.

00:07:34

Is Cristobal going to be beaten by a bunch of coaches who were working part-time the last couple of days? Is Cristobal going to lose with the better team because the other coaches, and if you didn't see the end of the first half of Mississippi It was funny because I think a lot of people missed it, Georgia, they couldn't get their field goal team on the field. They had no time out, so they just threw away three points in that game because if you'd put a clown car on the field, it was as poorly coached a moment as you will see in college football, a lack of discipline all season, and Mario Cristobal could lose to it. That's the best result.

00:08:06

No. The best result, Chris had it right. You win this game, you get to the natty, and then it's a close game, and all you had to do is some blatant like, Hey, everyone does this in this situation.

00:08:19

I love your idea here where they're tied late and they go for two instead of kicking an extra point. With no time left, it would have to.

00:08:26

Something like that. It would have to. Nebraska?

00:08:27

No, he's saying the game is... No, he's saying the game is tied and Cristobal decides to go for two.

00:08:33

Go for tied with no time left. Just to prove it.

00:08:36

With a running play right up to this.

00:08:38

His genius offensive line.

00:08:40

Well, this- That's the best case. Okay, so guys, I didn't object to it strongly enough the other day because Mike Ryan's a crazy person. Him coming out here and talking about the multiple layers of genius of Mario Cristobal, okay? The three-pronged geniuses, like Einstein's a genius, the three-pronged genius of Mario Cristobal. If the Tony Fumbel in Texas A&M goes another way, Miami's not here and we're laughing at Mario. Now, he's genius two games later at iBlock Better Than You. But Mast does kick ass, and they are going to be able to run the ball against this team, even though their offense has been by far the worst this postseason. They don't try anything downfield. Their two biggest offensive plays, or their two biggest scoring plays, have been a pick six and a special team's return that went for 60 yards. Everything else has been, this is not an explosive offense. This is the worst offense remaining in the playoff.

00:09:38

Yeah. I mean, James Madison lost their game to Oregon, a final four team, but they scored as many points in their one game against Oregon as Miami has scored in two games. That's the James Madison offense. So you're going to need to win this with defense, and you're going to need to do it against Trittidad Chambleas, who we know Zaz is sick of.

00:09:54

Remember, guys, all miss tackles.

00:09:56

I don't think, though, that I have an accurate answer, and I I don't know what you guys would hypothesize here. America sits in front of its television and its streaming services tonight to watch a legitimately big college football game made bigger by the fact that Miami participates in it in whatever form, because Miami used to mean something This all new system, the portal's over here. I don't understand what the hell is going on with Lane Kiffin's team. This jucoization and AA-u-ing of college football that has made it a professional sport with no rules whatsoever, a genuine stupidity that allows you to buy yourself a quarterback in Carson, pack $21 million and spend it to get into a game, lose two games during the season, and not play for the Championship with what everyone believes to be the better team. I don't know what America is rooting for. I don't know.

00:10:47

You know what America is rooting for. I don't. On the one hand, you have a team whose coach walked out on them. These poor kids. These poor kids from Mississippi, Ole Miss, right? As I mentioned in the weekend.

00:10:59

I think broader. I think America préfers Miami losing in the final, not tonight.

00:11:05

No. America, that's the part of having a team like that is you root for it the entire way. People don't root for the Yankees to lose in the World Series. They root for the gets to lose the whole way. And when at the time it gets to the World Series, it hits a fever pitch. You have to build that fever pitch by hating them along the way. There's no part of America. Then if we drew a map, you know those maps? They were like, Hey, what team are you rooting for? It's going to be one little corner here in Florida.

00:11:32

I love those maps. What team is every state rooting for?

00:11:36

They're all rooting for Ole Miss.

00:11:37

I love those things.

00:11:38

They're all rooting for Ole Miss. I understand it. Miami's reputation on one side as a program and on the other side, Ole Miss and their poor kids. The coach walked out on them.

00:11:49

I don't know, Dan. You, me, and Amin have been alive for more than 40 years. Under no circumstances has America ever rooted for the Miami Hurricanes.

00:11:58

The America you were talking about, Remember that America we were talking about last segment? You think that America is rooting for Miami over Ole Miss?

00:12:06

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00:13:05

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00:14:24

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00:15:23

Don Levatard.

00:15:24

That's not my favorite rejoint.

00:15:27

Context needs to be applied.

00:15:29

Don't I thought the context was applied. We'd like to rip that out of context. I was going for a thing. I have a family.

00:15:38

You're going to pretend here that you don't love Matthew Kuchuk more than you love anybody you've ever loved?

00:15:43

I don't love Matthew Kachuk more than my daughter. Stugatz. Now, it's pretty damn close.

00:15:48

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

00:15:54

I thought that America would prefer the idea of an undefeated Indiana beating Miami, that that is more satisfying as an underdog story. An Indiana team like none before it, an Indiana team that comes out of nowhere beats the bought Miami Hurricanes who just got into the game by getting all the best players, by paying a coach $90 million, and now we're going to win the business of football by getting bigger mass kicks ass, and our offensive linemen and defensive linemen will be paid more than your guys, and we will tackle the quarterback better than your guys do that, and they will get to the legitimate, as it can be, Championship game of the moment.

00:16:30

We have a map here.

00:16:31

Yeah, Dan, I'd like to, if I could, just utilize some of the new tools we have available to us here. See, here, this is the United States right here. Let me draw this circle big. Nice and big. That's the United States, right? You see this part right here? Everything that I'm shading right here.

00:16:46

Tell the audience, the audio audience, what are you shading?

00:16:48

I'm shading the entirety of the country. Maybe someone else should do that. It's a little funny.

00:16:52

All right, so Amin-49 states. We can do that with you, Amin. If you told us you were going to do this. So what's happening, audio audience, is Amin is using the telestrator, and he promised us he would do it better than Cody today because Cody was a disaster with it yesterday. Now we've gotten him a map. Now that we have toys with all this new media freedom that we have in this modern age, if nobody has media freedom, Amin has a telestrator, and he has crossed off most of an American map. Go ahead, Amin.

00:17:14

Now I'm going to write right here in blue because that's, I believe, the color of the O'Myss, whereas this is O'Myss country right here. Everything I've blue and red, O'Myss.

00:17:24

That's the entire country.

00:17:24

You're just painting in the rest of the country. Everyone is rooting for O'Myss tonight.

00:17:29

Alaska and Hawaii as well. Don't lose them.

00:17:33

Three quarters of Florida.

00:17:34

Then, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. This is also right here, Ole Miss country, Northern Florida because you got Tallahassee here. You got Gainesville. They don't like you guys.

00:17:41

Miami is not even in the shot.

00:17:42

Because of the lower third, we can't even see the part of the country that is rooting for Miami.

00:17:46

And it's not Tampa. Because of the lower third graphically that says the Dan Leventhal Show with Stugat.

00:17:52

Nice graphic.

00:17:53

Let's zoom in on Southern Florida, and I'll show you exactly which part.

00:17:58

But this isn't great as audio. You understand that you've hijacked the show now to do something that is all visual.

00:18:03

Well, I would say-You can hit the trash can button if you want it to clear. I know how to use it. I would say that maybe don't give me a visual tool and then demand me to make it an audio product.

00:18:12

I think now would be a good time to hit the Magic Creative content because he's run out of material and he lost all of the blue that was on the map.

00:18:19

So you're calling for Magic Creative?

00:18:20

Yeah, because I want to stop it.

00:18:21

It's not even that big of an area.

00:18:22

Yes, I'm right there. I did too much there. West Palm 8 with us. Hold on.

00:18:30

You got West and Florida in there.

00:18:31

There you go, right here.

00:18:33

This is an hour late. That part right there. This is an hour late.

00:18:35

Grab a topic out of it.

00:18:39

If we're going to do it visually, I don't know how that fell apart. So you were just doing... Were you trying to just get to the tip of a penis joke? Is that what you were trying to get to visually? Is that all that you were doing? Yes? Okay, great.

00:18:52

What did you think of Mike McDaniel's glasses? I don't know what moment in time we're talking about here. He always has silly glasses.

00:19:03

No, this was when Juju was in town. That's a good adlib, by the way, off of that. Just to look up and look around and be confused and not know what the bit is supposed to be.

00:19:15

I don't like his glasses. I'll say it.

00:19:19

I'll ask you.

00:19:21

That Mr. K used to have good things like, Hey, if you were a color, what color would you be? Not specifics. What do you think of the second episode of Beverly Hills Cop?

00:19:29

Forest Green.

00:19:31

Do you be Forest Green?

00:19:32

It's Dan's color.

00:19:32

Do me a favor, please, Lewis. Ask Juju what he meant to trigger with that question when he threw it in the magic crate of content when he was in town. We will see if we can get an answer to that question that has interested participants in the postgame.

00:19:48

We need timeless questions, guys. Timeless questions.

00:19:51

Are you telling Juju how to do the show?

00:19:54

How to do the mystery crate? Yeah. Or the magic crate.

00:19:57

I just snatched on Juju.

00:19:58

I didn't know Juju wrote it.

00:20:00

Yeah, I don't think that's it. I didn't know Juju I don't think that's supposed to be known. Well, that's a shocker. I think the magic creative content.

00:20:04

Dan Levitard snitches on someone.

00:20:07

I don't think that Amine has this right, though. You're just saying that by reflex, by history, by pattern, everyone's rooting against Miami again. So you're framing for me, what you're saying is it's legitimately Miami against the world. Nobody wants Miami to win. And every team says that every year, and most years, it's nonsense. And Miami is going to be running around saying, No one believed in us. No one believed in us because they lost two games.

00:20:34

Nobody did believe in them. That's why I said, Weekend Observations. Holy shit, Mike was right because it's like, I am legitimately shocked. Shocked. Texas A&M, I was like, Okay, they could do it. Ohio State, I was like, Damn. I'm completely floored. I had no confidence whatsoever. And now they're not even playing Georgia, which is what we thought was going to happen before. Hey, you got to beat Ohio State, then you got to beat Georgia. So now they don't have to play Georgia. I'm like, Holy shit, they could actually do it.

00:21:05

It's just so funny, though, because two years ago, this season just would have ended before anything. They wouldn't even played for the conference championship. It would have ended. And now they've earned their way there. That's really cool. But it is funny that we're doing these victory laps on behalf of the US back and everything is amazing when they could just be eliminated from a weird extra postseason that no one cared about two years ago.

00:21:30

You want to hear a funny way to think of this? They're basically FAU basketball from a couple of years ago. Yeah, that's what they are. That's all they are. You got hot in the tournament. Oh, come on. No, they got hot. You got hot in the tournament. You made the final four.

00:21:40

They didn't even make their conference championship. Among the more impressive things I saw, though, down the last part of the season was what Miami did specifically to NC State as it started getting healthy. There are some physical things happening with this team as we have some confusions about how strong the athletes in some of these conferences are, Because we do have these confusions when there are athletes all over the place. You've seen that the measurements can become difficult on this thing, right? We're sitting here watching, and I believe everyone listening and watching this thinks that Alabama and Georgia, because of those uniforms, were something close to what Alabama and Georgia have been the last five or six years. And it's just not. It's just Mississippi has a different quarterback in a different uniform, and Mississippi has all the same athletes Georgia does. This This is the best Mississippi season we have seen. The only game they lost was to Georgia, correct? It was the one loss they have. But if I tell you the entire conference is fraudulent and Georgia just sits atop it because it has, you don't see all the rampant mediocrity throughout the entirety of the conference.

00:22:47

But NC State, whatever you think of it, or Pitt, whatever you think of it, Miami dragged NC State in a way that was like, Oh, they're a lot more physical. And as Notre Dame watches what's happening here, it says, Oh, that could have been us. We were right there. We could beat Texas A&M in We could beat Miami in a game. We could beat Ohio State. Why couldn't we? Why couldn't we beat Ohio State? We've got a good quarterback. We've got a quarterback who doesn't turn the ball over. We've concocted this wildly funny thing in a new ecosystem of taking all our past thoughts and thinking they apply at all to what we're watching right now. Precisely. Indiana is as good as anybody. Indiana plays at Ohio State of football. When they play it against Ohio State, it's going to be 13 to 10, even if they have the Heisman Trophy winner. Then they go drag Alabama because Alabama is not that good because the SEC It was fraudulent all year. Not anything like what you remember. As fraudulent as Clemson is fraudulent this year, what you used to think of Clemson, the entire SEC is that fraud this year.

00:23:42

Just because you're used to seeing Georgia be good and Mississippi being better than Georgia, they are smaller than Miami. They're physically smaller on the offensive and defensive line, and you're going to see it tonight.

00:23:53

Even in the SEC, Ole Miss beat no one. I'm looking through their schedule right now. Their wins, and just I'm going to say all the teams. Georgia State, Kentucky, Arkansas, Tulane, LSU, Washington State. They lost at Georgia. They beat Oklahoma, South Carolina, the Citadel, Florida, and Mississippi State, en route to then beating Tulane again in the payoff and then beating Georgia by five points after losing them by eight earlier in the season.

00:24:18

Okay, let me stop the show right here. Guys, you're messing it up. You're messing it up because now we're hyping Miami up, and now we're putting ourselves in a position where they're going to lose lose, and now we're going to look like Jackasses in this whole segment. We're holding the downplay because we want them to get to the final so that Mario Cristobal is going for two, where all he needs is a one.

00:24:38

This is my point when Jeremy's going through the game logs, okay? This is my only point about what you're about to watch tonight. If you think Mississippi is indeed playing the football that is better than any Mississippi has ever played and is the best that the SEC can play and would be better than Miami in this circumstance. When Jeremy goes through those game logs, can you take a look at the Washington State numbers? What Washington State did to Trinidad Chamblas? Can you take a look at the Florida numbers? What Florida did to Trinidad Chamblas?

00:25:10

Every time you say Trinidad, I'm waiting for you to say Trinidad James.

00:25:12

So Washington State, Chamblas had 253 yards in the air, and Florida, it was 301. I'll get you the rest of those stats in a second.

00:25:22

No, but I don't want yards. What I'd like is how much pressure they put on him in those games because those are the lower scoring games. That offense has not been slowed by anybody. It's because I would say to you that outside of largely Oklahoma and Florida early in the season, the defenses in that conference stunk. You're just used to these people being good, and so you think they're still good. They all stunk. It was like a lower level. It's the ACC in disguise. Whatever you thought the ACC was, all these Missouris and Vanderbilt, they're all the same, and they're all just okay.

00:25:54

Washington State had three sacs in that game. They had six tackles for loss and two passes deflected. Florida sacked them five times, and they had seven tackles for loss as well. Like, Ole Miss's offensive line isn't really built, obviously, to go up against Miami's defensive line. We did give when Miami beat Florida. We gave Florida a ton of credit for how great their defense is. So we do need to continue to do that now, considering they were seemingly healthier at the end of the year than they were earlier in the year when they played Miami. That is a good defense. But at the same time, that was a 3-7 team going into that game or after that game.

00:26:31

Michael Irvin should bring a separate belt with him. He takes off his actual belt, but then he's pulling up his pants the whole time. Is that right? Yeah. If we watch this video right here of him celebrating after they beat So he's always trying to be authentic here by using his own belt instead of a prop belt.

00:26:49

And you're saying you can't use your own belt because you can't hold up your pants if you do that.

00:26:53

Or wear suspenders, maybe, and then take off the belt.

00:26:56

You're going to give him style tips?

00:26:57

No, I'm not style tips. Look, see? I'm just trying to… That's real baggy.

00:27:01

He did have to pull his pants there.

00:27:02

Those pants are really baggy. It's a wide waist. He's lost a lot of weight, apparently.

00:27:05

What do you think he's got planned for the night? Michael Irving going into tonight's game. Do you think he just flies by the seat of his pants? Or do you think he's thinking, What do I got to do?

00:27:13

You think this man has a plan?

00:27:15

I think he knows that he's been the star of these post-game, so he's got to be thinking, All right, if we win this one, I got to have something.

00:27:24

This was where I was going to with that question of Mike Ryan, who's famous on Miami other than Carson Beck? I was going to say Michael Well, so here, this will be a fun one to dissect here for a second.

00:27:34

You saw how everybody got super excited about Deion Sanders and what Colorado was doing when they could have bought their way into this particular Fame way.

00:27:42

I think Michael Irvin was on their sidelines a couple of times.

00:27:45

No, but let's talk about this for a second when it comes to Black excellence and Black showmanship and Michael Irvin being almost the perfect mascot for Miami because 30 years ago, he was running down the sidelines like that. My favorite Greg Cody, my favorite, yeah, 40 years ago. My favorite Greg Cody column ever that he wrote was about Michael Irvin and how much he missed his late father's old hat. It was when Michael Irvin was like a freshman or a sophomore at the University of Miami, I think, or maybe a junior. But for better or for worse, that guy and everything in his personality has been representing Miami on the public stage, NFL Network, Dallas Cowboys, fired scandals, alleged crimes, and otherwise. He's the perfectly scarred mascot for Miami, crazed, lunatic, flawed, and way, way too loud, and wonderfully loud.

00:28:38

We're going to find out what year was.

00:28:40

Arrogantly loud. You're going to find out whether it was 30 years or 40 years. Well, no, it was 40 years ago because he played from 1985, '86, '87.

00:28:50

So yes, you were right.

00:28:51

Dan, 30 years ago was 1996. It was the Super Bowl where Brett Farr blew out the Drew Bledso.

00:28:57

Look at you.

00:28:58

I'm sorry. Super Bowl knowledge. Excellent. It's excellent work, what I mean?

00:29:01

Look, my sports knowledge up until 2000, probably '02, all sports, bro, I was on everything.

00:29:09

That's why I crush it at our pitch clock because we do old baseball trivia. If we did today baseball trivia, I would stink.

00:29:15

That pitch clock.

00:29:15

I crush it because we do '03 to '08.

00:29:18

Oh, that's a fun time.

00:29:20

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00:30:03

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00:30:36

Can I tell you something?

00:30:38

I don't know, maybe like a month ago, and I decided to watch Pitch Clock, and I told Jeremy, Stugatz.

00:30:45

This is a good show you're doing.

00:30:47

This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

00:31:02

You just wanted to tell us that?

00:31:03

No, I wanted to tell you that you said it was either his freshman or his junior or sophomore or junior year. He only played three years at University of Miami, so you really nailed the window.

00:31:12

We're going to figure it out, Dan.

00:31:13

We're going to get to the bottom of it. Thank you. He wasn't a true freshman either. Find the article, Jeremy. Well, I wasn't asking him to find the article.

00:31:19

No, we are.

00:31:20

We need to know what year was of his college career.

00:31:22

What year? It's important to the story. Okay, well, if we're going to put tonight in the proper historical context, okay? Because I'm not joking when I say, I've been waiting for this game for 20 years. Miami has not felt like this in football. We've been running a media company making football bets, and none of them feel like this for 20 years. Miami always stinks. Even the reincarnation of Miami. Okay, so going back in history, when it's on the sidelines, Jonathan Vilma and Ed Reid and Sean Taylor, and what they're saying is, We don't want to be seen like those old Canes. We're an entirely new generation. We don't want the bad boy canes, all that stuff. That's a different time. Andre Johnson, We want to do all this differently. That's the last time Miami has mattered the way it matters today. You don't know it's players the way that you know some of those stars. Wait a second.

00:32:21

Those guys were after Willis McGahee and Jeremy Shaki and those guys?

00:32:26

In 2001, that era, all of those guys were on the same team. The running backs were McGahee, Portis, and Gore. Those were the running backs on that team. That's what I'm saying. Three-fourths of the secondary was drafted in the fourth round, and you can't remember the names of those players, but three-fourths of the secondary was drafted in the first round. It's the best team there's ever been, if you don't think LSU of Joe Burrow is.

00:32:51

But that was how I was getting to Mike. That team was famous. Everybody on that team was famous. All I know is-At the time they were?

00:32:59

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought maybe once they became pros, I thought maybe. Ken Dorsey.

00:33:03

Why do I know that? He didn't even amount to anything. He was famous.

00:33:07

Oh, my God. This was famous.

00:33:08

Go back. Kelen Winslow Jr. I'm a soldier. Remember, that was a big deal. Hey, we're at war, guy. You can't see you're a soldier. That was the biggest problem we had in America at the point.

00:33:16

All right, can you guys please go get that? I'd like to do the comparison.. Ed Reid, Vince Wilford.

00:33:27

I'm telling you, Chris, it They were celebrities.

00:33:31

He has a new wife now.

00:33:32

Does he?

00:33:34

Can you guys get for me, please, Kelen Winslow's I'm a soldier because this time in Miami football that Amin speaks of, when Miami felt like a national professional program because they'd won some championships. It feels a little like Alabama before Alabama. Miami was right there on several championships for several years around this era.

00:33:58

In a weird way, do you know I compare them to? Probably it's because they were contemporaries at the same time. They reminded me of the Rams in the NFL. That first Super Bowl, you're like, Oh, my God, these guys are going to win 700 Super Bowl. And then the next one, they lose to the Patriots, and it's like, Oh, it's just a little close, whatever the military field goal, whatever. And it's the same thing. Those guys are supposed to run the sport, and then they lose to Ohio State in a really close game at the Fiesta Bowl of all places. Those are the things I think of that time, It's like of a dominance that I thought, Man, no one's ever going to beat that.

00:34:33

So the time period that Amin is bringing up, of when Ohio State beat Miami, and it seemed like an impossible thing because Ohio State only had seven NFL draft picks, and Miami had 17 in that game. But Miami had a bunch of turnovers. Ohio State did play well in the game, and Ohio State wins at the end on a penalty flag because Fireworks in the Sky, Terry Porter, official Miami still hasn't forgiven, makes the incorrect call, and Miami has denied another championship. But Ohio State was plenty great then. But what? Craig Crenzel was their quarterback. But when you look back at what you're saying about Dorsey and look at how good those teams were, go back and look at the highlights and all of those wobblers he was throwing to Andre Johnson, who was 70 feet behind everybody.

00:35:21

As I'm saying, it's like their quarterback wasn't good, but he was surrounded with such incredible famous talent that it didn't matter.

00:35:30

The Kelen Winslow team, and do not look up his crimes, they are wildly unpleasant, and I believe he's still in jail.

00:35:37

I forgot about that part.

00:35:38

I think he's still in prison. Kelen Winslow was in the locker room. Imagine how many college football players. You guys tell me in all the college interviews that you're watching these days, still on network television, not on their live streams or not on their Instagrams, how many players in college football today are giving this interview? No, man. I'm pissed.

00:36:01

All you all take this down.

00:36:02

I'm pissed, man.

00:36:03

We don't care about nobody except this you. We don't.

00:36:06

If I didn't hurt him, he'd hurt me. They're gunning for my legs.

00:36:10

I'm going to come right back at him. I'm a soldier. America lost its shit because he said, I'm a person.

00:36:19

I remember that.

00:36:20

I cannot stress enough how people were like, How dare you?

00:36:26

How dare you?

00:36:28

The Pearl Pro-clutch. And then he went on to do some awful things.

00:36:33

That is correct, that you'd forgotten about all that.

00:36:35

That's the How he dare you, I should be pearl clutching for that.

00:36:38

Because what you remember about Kelen Winslow and those Miami teams, what is interesting about this time period and the fact that I think that this Miami team has, I guess, snuck up on the country. No?

00:36:51

Of course, they snuck. Why do you keep asking this question? A month ago, none of us saw it. Here in Miami, we didn't see this happening. The only people who thought that this could happen are the biggest homers of them all, Mike Ryan and that high school kid that he does predictions with. I don't know. I can only tell from the little profile picture they post. I'm like, Who is this child? Why is he making pics? But those are the only people. Dan, right here in Miami, we were laughing at Mike. Mike's crazy. We had Jessica Smetana come on every week laughing at Mike.

00:37:22

Remember Trista was like, You guys don't have a chance. You guys think you have a chance. No one thinks you have a chance.

00:37:28

Nobody. So it is us against the world.

00:37:32

Nobody thought we could be here. That's what you're- We didn't think we'd be here, and I'm not even part of the we. So did we. So did we. Okay, so you're sitting here in front of me right now, alleging that the American sporting public this evening, while watching this game, is watching the reasons that people watch Floyd Mayweather, they watched nick Saban. After they got too good, they watched the Patriots, they watched Jake Paul, people will be watching tonight in bigger numbers, making this a bigger game, because what's going to be here that you will not find in many other places in college football is a whole bunch of people watching just to see Miami lose.

00:38:12

Now, slow down there, Dan. I didn't say bigger numbers. I don't know how many people actually care.

00:38:16

Yeah, I think it's mostly indifference.

00:38:17

The people who do care, the people who do watch, are rooting for Ole Miss. Like I said, that routing interest comes from two different directions. On the one direction, there's a feeling that Ole Miss got a job by selfish Lane Kippen, according to Jimbo Fisher. And the other root version or the other source of the routing interest is people don't like Miami. They don't like it as a city. They don't like it as a school. They don't like it as a team. They don't like anything about this.

00:38:48

They just like to vacation here.

00:38:49

They just like to vacation here. And you know what they do? They come here and they look at you guys derisively like, They get to live like this all the time. Why is that so unfair? That's how they all think.

00:39:01

So you're doing jealousy? Was that your jealousy voice? Is that your envy? What is that? They're bad drivers. What's happening? Well, that's true.

00:39:09

No one here speaks English.

00:39:12

They're still stick it driving everywhere.

00:39:14

The traffic here is so bad. That's what they do. They come over here and there's a part of them that's like, they don't get to have it all. They don't get to have beautiful people in the beach 12 months a year and be best at a sport that's supposed to be played in the cold, in the frozen tundra. That's it, their whole mentality. The hockey really pisses them all because they thought this one, that was theirs.

00:39:37

I want more sniveling envy voice. I want that as a character. This is Miami Hater. This is Miami Hater guy. You're telling me... Was it Internet Minute? You're telling me that Miami hater guy, because you said nothing of ratings, I believe the numbers on the game will be big because it's football and because it's Miami. That's it.

00:39:59

You said bigger. Big versus bigger.

00:40:02

I mean, Alabama being there is big. Look, I don't know how many programs you look at and say would be a ratings mover here, but I think Miami generationally is one of them just because you're-Notre Dame.

00:40:12

I think Miami is the ratings mover of this bunch, but I don't know. Yes.

00:40:16

In general, no.

00:40:17

But Indiana is a cool story, though. I think we have a really, really, really local perspective on this because- Indiana is a much more national name in Rinders' life. It's the Heisman winner They're the only undefeated team. It's a cool underdog story on its own. I think Indiana, their story becomes cooler if it's Miami because Ole Miss is also a Cinderella in a fun way. So Nationally, the storyline is more fun if it's Indiana-Miami. But I don't think that there's people then in turn, rooting for Miami.

00:40:52

Of the remaining teams, you're right. Indiana-miami is the best matchup. Or some people might say Oregon because from there. Oregon doesn't draw. It's West Coast. Nobody cares. So you need that middle America. And it's Indiana-Miami, which, of course, we've had that in basketball as well. That rivalry of Hicks versus guys by the beach and all that stuff. And you got Mendoza is from here. I want to give all the glory to God. Jesus.

00:41:19

I love him so much. The glory to God. You want a surprise with that?

00:41:24

You guys are really doing this. I don't know if you hear yourselves, but this is what you have framed, okay? And it's asinine. What you have presently framed as I put it-I'm going to close my eyes and look at the frame. I want you to... Yes, please. All of you, close your eyes. Unless you're driving. Close your eyes. Even if you're driving, close your eyes because this will guide you.

00:41:41

Open every three seconds for safety.

00:41:43

You guys have presented to me as I said, Bigger, bigger, make the game bigger. Sing a song, sing a national song. You guys are telling me that we are headed to a game or a couple of games, possibly, where Miami is going to be able to shout, Nobody believed in us. The rest of the country is going to be rooting actively against all the Miami things because it's Miami. And in order to hate Miami, and I'm saying spiking the ratings just with that little dollop of flavor, that Miami is also going to be allowed against Lovable Little Indiana, that upstart underdog, allegedly, right up until they're undefeated and Miami's got two losses, and Indiana is the favorite because Miami gets to be the Lovable Underdog, but off. You're telling me that that's where we're headed right now? We're two games from Miami being lovable underdog. You never believed in us. You a thousand times over like the way that we said, When Michael Irvin was running down the sidelines and the way that LeBron in Miami and Chris Bosh in Miami said, You're going to put us in that position? There's Zazlo, and he's at the Peach Bowl for some reason.

Episode description

"I don't know the question I am about to ask."

The show gets so stuck in the mud that Dan REQUESTS the Magic Crate of Content. And once we've emerged from the muck, we break down the three-pronged genius of Mario Cristobal and the nation rooting against Miami. They hate us 'cause they ain't us. Right, Pipo?

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