Transcript of Hour 1: The Brobdingnagian Pregame Show (feat. Jonathan Zaslow)

Hello.

It's the Big Fake Free Game Show. How does it rub you?

Just having fun, man.

Dan loves when it's big.

Sorry. Dan wants it big. Head to head. Mass kicks ass. Bigger. Yeah. Bigger. It's Propding, Nagian. The biggest game in 20 years. Miami,milwaukee. Milwaukee. Oh, Ms. Tackles. Oh. We're here to tell you it's big.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big barcode.

It's Rob Dinaigian. There goes another rubber tree plant. That means big. There goes another rubber tree plant? You're just using random sounds from Cody. It's big. What is there goes another rubber tree plant? You're just using random sounds from Cody. It's big. What is there goes Another rubber tree plant. I have to do anything about this. There goes another rubber tree plant. Wait a minute. All right, hold on a second. You guys don't know how to do big. Hold on. Zazlo, it's Rob Dignagian. Listen, you guys don't understand what I'm asking you to do. Zazlo, you've been a radio producer for a long time before you were a majestic college football insider, journalist- Rising star. Race- Race war expert. Race war expert and everything else. I want you to tell me which open is bigger because we've got the biggest game in 20 years going on tonight, and I keep exhorting these people, please make it bigger. So Roy made a new open, and Jeremy made a new open, and I need them both to be bigger. So play for Zazlo, please. Stop Jeremy's for a second because you guys... Bob Dignan. I need it to be bigger than all big because it's bigger than Bob Dignan.

And I need Roy's first for Zazlo Come on, please. Fake break him, show. Fake break him, show. Let's go. Fake break him, show. Fake break him, show. Biggest game in 20 years. Mass kicks ass.

How does it rub you? We put belt to air.

It rubs me beyond the wrong way. Fake break him, show. You think that your family would get a lot of joy from Milwaukee? So did we. Head to It's good. Hello. Just having fun, man.

And boom goes the Dynamite.

Big, big show. Yeah.

I'm not letting that story mess with my glory, talking about how long, damn it, how long.

History is gone. We are right here, right now.

And every team they thought was going to beat us is taking their ass away. Sorry. We're going to keep doing it until we land back home. And I stadium for the national championship, Beltaé.

It's going to be hard to beat that. I asked Jeremy to beat that, and Rob Dignagian is what he did. But let's see if Jeremy, in Zazlo's professional radio producer ear opinion, thinks this one is bigger. It's the big, fake pregame show. Big, big game show. It's big. The biggest game in It's the big fake pregame show. Big pregame show. It's big. The biggest game in 20 years. It's the big fake pregame show. Big pregame show. It's big. Hello. It's the big fake pregame show. How does it rub you? Just having fun, man. Dan loves when it's big. Oh, oh, oh. Sorry. Dan wants it big. Head to head Mass kicks ass. Bigger. Yeah. Bigger. Bigger. It's Propding Nagian. The biggest game in 20 years. Miami Huracanes. Milwaukee. Omnist tackles. And we're here to tell you it's big. Oh, you've debarkled. It's Propding Nagian. There goes another robotry plant. That means big. There goes another rubber tree plant. You're just using random sounds from Cody. It's big. What is there goes another rubber tree plant? I have to do anything about this. There goes another rubber tree plant. Wait a minute. All right, hold on a second.

You guys don't know how to do big. Hold on. Zazlitz, you're a bigger than that? You're a bigger than that? Listen, you guys don't understand what I'm asking you to do. Zazlo, you've been a radio producer for a long time before you were a majestic college football insider, journalist- Rising star. Race- Race war expert. Race war expert and everything else. I want you to tell me which open is bigger because we've got the biggest game in 20 years going on tonight, and I keep exhorting these people, please make it bigger. So Roy made a new open, and Jeremy made a new open, and I need them both to be bigger. So play for Zazlo, please. Stop Jeremy's for a second because you guys are... Bob Dignan. I need it to be bigger than all big because it's bigger than Bob Dignan. And I need Roy's first for Zazlo, please. Fake break room show. Fake break room show. Let's go. Fake break room show. Fake break room show. Biggest game in 20 years. Mass kicks ass. How does it rub you? We put belt to ass. It rubs me beyond the wrong way. Fake, break, have a show.

You think that your family would get a lot of joy from-Malaki? So did we. Head to head. It's good. Hello. Just having fun, man. And boom goes the dynamite. Fake, break, have a show. Yeah. I'm not letting that story mess with my glory. Talking about how long How long? History is gold. We are right here right now, and every team they thought was going to beat us is taking their ass away. Sorry. We're going to keep doing it until we land back home in our stadium for the national championship. It's going to be hard to beat that. I asked Jeremy to beat that, and Rob Dignagian is what he did. But let's see if Jerem. Zazlo's professional radio producer ear opinion thinks this one is bigger. It's the big fake pregame show. Big pregame show. It's big. The biggest game in 20 years. It's the big fake pregame show. Big pregame show. It's big. Hello.

It's the big fake pregame show. How does it rub you?

Just having fun, man.

Dan loves when it's Big.

It's stupid. Sorry. Dan wants it big. Head to head. Mass kicks ass. Bigger. Yeah. Bigger. Bigger. It's Propting Nagian. The biggest game in 20 years. Miami Huracanes. Milwaukee. Omnist tackles. It's worth you to tell you it's big.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's debacle. It's Rob D. Nagian. There goes another rubber tree plant.

That is big.

It doesn't make any sense. He's singing his song. What is the rest of that song? Give me the rest of the lyrics, please, of There goes another rubber tree plant, because I just need to get to the bottom of why that's at the end of that, as we also have breaking news, Dolphins have fired Mike McDaniel. What? Oh, my God. I can't handle this today.

You guys got to where you want. We're going to have a big celebration here on the 50th day that I could fire Mike McDaniel, but he's actually fired now. All right, it's a party, I guess, right?

I mean, it doesn't really suggest that they know what they're doing when they do it this piecemeal just without explaining to anybody, Hey, we just needed McDaniel to hold on at the end so that we can just get everybody out of here at the same time. We needed him to just be a face and voice for, Well, there's somebody still in the building speaking on behalf of the team, and no one told him?

Well, can I offer, perhaps? Maybe you're like, Oh, I like Mike McDaniel, but Then you see there's a Harbaugh available. That's where my mind goes. Hold on for a second. Why am I married to this guy? Well, look who's on the market.

Okay, so this is what we're going to do immediately, I suppose this is what you have to do if you're one of seven teams in the market for Jim Harbaugh. He brings instant stability, credibility, and all these things where it's rare for a coach to get fired. I mean, think about how cutthroat that business is, especially in football. Andy Reid was a fool not that long ago. He has reinvented himself since, but there aren't many of the guys other than Tomlin and Harbaugh where you're like, really? You're going to be 18 years in one place? How the hell does that happen? Everybody gets fired. And then everyone's shocked when he is let go. Because you're like, oh, we still expected you to be good. You still have the quarterback. And now that he's available, All the bad teams think he's the fix. And so if you want to be one of the bad teams who can get him, he's the most coveted thing there's been in free agent coaching. And I don't know how long, right? Because you're going to have seven people who want, Can you please come fix this? We've just got a shit show with the Jets and with the Giants.

Which of these jobs would you like here? And Miami doesn't have a quarterback. So if Steven Ross is going to get in the game, the only way he can do it is, Hey, at my place, you can also pick the GM or be the GM. You can have all the power. The The thing that you're giving him, what this firing shows you, I think, Zazla, you tell me if you have another instant reaction to this. But the timing of all this suggests to me that the only way you can get Harbaugh here is to do what you were saying yesterday. Today, which is wildly overpay him, but also tell him you can have all of the power. You can do everything, and you can pick your next quarterback, and you can show us if the Harbaughs can do it with anybody.

Yeah. I mean, maybe Steven Ross was listening, although Troy Akeman should have told him this Now, if you just pay the coach an exorbitant amount of money with no salary cap, go offer John Harbaugh $50 million a season. I dare him to say no to that. But yeah, my first thought is that on top of what you just said, which is, and you could also get X amount of control maybe in the front office. You'll have say in who we're going to hire as the GM, but it's you and him. You're going to have say in personnel. That's the only way you could wind up getting him. It's funny where... I mean, how sloppily was this handled by the Dolphins? It was just a few days ago that Mike McDaniel stood in front of everybody and said he's going to be part of the general manager search.

Well, but something changed. Look, sports is cutthroat. It's a business, and things change very quickly. And what changes is that Harbaugh became available, and that part seems obvious now. If they want to get in the game, they got to do it quickly. This is all going to happen pretty fast. It's rare that you've got seven suiters for the same guy. I don't know. Look, step back from this for a second. Somebody give me all the examples, not just football, of the coaching free agent where everyone is like, Whoa, how did he get fired? We all know he's good. And now you've got a ton of teams who would like just the credibility of that.

Bill Belichick.

A good example, and nobody wanted it. Harbaugh, though, does have, Coveted free agent. We're power hungry. We know this guy is good. I dare say Baltimore did John Harbaugh favor by making him somebody at this point in his career who's allowed to reinvent himself with all the power. And while Zazla is saying a ridiculous thing there at $50 million a year, you're not going to five times or even three times whatever the salary structure is or whatever. What are you saying? I mean, that you're looking at me saying that they are going to do that?

No. I'm looking to think of what Zazel saying $50 million a year.

No, but what Zazel is saying- But it's because money isn't an object to this guy. Why wouldn't you?

Okay. I mean, All right, you're saying it's absurd, and I'm saying the number is also absurd. But let's deconstruct this for a second. Harbaugh has just become available in a time of panic and leadershiplessness in Miami. Steven Ross, at the end of his life, considering mortality and having one but being a laughing stock for 25 years in this town as the worst owner there could possibly be in South Florida, but also he does good business. Hey, thanks for F1. Thanks for running that stadium. It's a Major League place you've built there, but you laughing stock in the one place that you want to be excellent. Everyone thinks you're a clown. You are terrible at this. You can't do it within the salary structure. You can't do it even within the rules, if you believe some of what it is that's being said because you're so desperate to win at the end. Zaz is saying, Money is no object. You are allowed to pay this person anything you want. We were talking earlier this week and saying, Imagine what Steven Ross would pay in an open market, no salary cap for a quarterback. He would pay a billion dollars for a quarterback at the end of his life and go into partnership and give him part ownership of the team because he would so badly want to win at the end of his life.

As everyone says, he's a careless clown, a careless clown. And so the number is ridiculous. But why couldn't Steven Ross blow up the coaching salary ranks because the only advantage he could possibly have is to have more money than the other guy? That Mike McDaniel magic crate topic was a little ahead of its time. I know, man.

I was slapped right down. I owe an apology to Juju, apparently.

It's going to hurt when he's the Lion's offensive coordinator next year. That's the game we're playing. Where's Mike?

He's going to be an amazing offensive coordinator somewhere.

I think I agree.

It's either Detroit or I could see San Francisco back with Shana Hay. Detroit feels like the spot.

Circles around everybody. But no, the only example we have in professional sports in the world of owners being allowed to pay whatever it takes and them actually paying whatever it takes is Saudi Arabia. There is no other place. So you guys go, Oh, look, Steve Ballmer is one of the 10 richest in the world. Ta-lu doesn't make $50 million. So this idea that, Oh, because there's no salary cap on front office or coaching, someone's going to invest an amount of money that is absurd. Guys, this is still America. These billionaires don't like paying money. They like getting stuff cheap and for free and on the margins. Now, the highest paid coach in the NFL right now is Andy Reid at 20 mil a year. If you told me, Hey, we're going to get Harba, we're going to give him GM and head coach. I could see a salary going 25, maybe even 27 million. Double that? No way, man. Not a chance in hell. First of all, he's not that coach. He's a great coach. He's not... Oh, my God.

He's a Coveted free agent at the right time, which makes him might as well be.

Nobody is approaching that figure like that.

These are synonyms. What you just said are synonyms. Great coach and most Coveted coach at the most desperate time with the most desperate suitors. Those things are the same thing. There's no difference there.

Okay, but What I'm saying to you is that that does not evaporate the rules of economics.

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I've never stepped foot on that campus. If you told me right now your life depends on it, go to Santa Fe University and just take a picture. Stugatz. I would die. I don't know where it is.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz. Zaz is the one arguing this. Zaz is saying, if you want this guy, if Zaz, from the Most of the fans, Zaz is simply saying, If you want this guy, go get him.

That's exactly my point.

Give him all the money and give him all the power.

That's exactly my point to me. Nothing you're saying is incorrect. It would be absurd economically to give John Harbott, and I'm just making up a number, $50 million. It's an offer he can't refuse. But if you're the owner and there's no salary cap and money is not an object, it's literally nothing to him, the money. That's the point. Why not just go do what you want?

That's my point. We behave, we operate as if money is nothing to these people. It is something to them. It is. They don't spend like that. They might spend, Hey, you spend how much on a hammer, on a toilet, on whatever?

They don't spend $50 million on an employee. Let me frame it for you this way. Can you give me, Jeremy, the amount of money, please, that Steven Ross has given away, the amount of money that Steven Ross has given to Michigan? I'm not telling him to spend this money this way. I'm simply framing it for you in an end-of-life, mortality, legacy way.

Dan.

Please let me finish. Just let me please... This owner in South Florida who cares deeply about not being a clown laughing stock has been so desperate, just trying to get Tom braided. Just disaster after disaster. Twenty-five years of incompetence. Offensive line coach snorting, blow off the desk. Just irrelevant team after irrelevant team. This guy's only advantage in sports in the modern age can be to have more money than the next guy. Compound that with at the end of his career and life doing this with something it is that he cares about. At this moment, right now, the dolphins look like they do not have a plan, do not have an idea, do not have a leader, do not have a voice, do not know how to do anything going forward. What would you pay to replace that with an amount of money? Because you do it with this amount of money given to this man. What's the amount that you will think he'd be willing to go in that context as a billionaire? Just, Please cure my problems tomorrow. I'll wire the money here now.

I think it's going to be commissary with whatever the current market value for a high- Why? Because that's how these people operate, man. Again, this is in Saudi Arabia where the guy's like, 200 billion a year to go. They don't do that.

How much money is he giving away, Jeremy? Just in 2013, he gave $200 million to the University of Michigan, $100 million to athletics, $100 million to the Steven Ross School of Business. He gave another $50 million in 2017.

Did he pay that to an individual? No, it's the University of Michigan. Okay. Was that someone's salary? Was that Michigan?

No, but that is probably- It was a philanthropic donation?

Yes?

It's how he donated to Michigan. $100 million went to the athletics program. I will say soon thereafter, they hired Jim Harbaugh to be their head coach.

Okay.

My point is this. That doesn't mean shit when it comes to paying employees. You guys are living in a fantasy land of the fan where it's like, He's rich. He can afford it. Yeah, he can afford it. He doesn't spend money like that. That's why he can afford it.

What if this time, that ridiculous amount of money that he would give this individual would stop him from losing?

Would stop him from losing. 20 million is the highest paid coach in the NFL right now. Andy Reid, who we all consider to be excellent in this job. If you told me, Hey, first of all, I think the power is a bigger play for Harbaugh than it.

As Bill Partell once said- You can have all of it. It's the only thing the Dolphins offer.

But that's the real thing they offer. That's the real... Hey, you get to buy the groceries and then cook it. In the words of Bill Partell. Then you start from there. You say, Okay, well, I'm doing two jobs. I'm hard. I'm like, I'm doing two jobs. You can't pay me enough for just the one job. Cool. $20, $27, $30 million a year. You say $50 million a year. That makes zero sense. First of all, you got to staff everybody else. Because if you're paying him 50, what's his associate head coach worth? What is his coordinator's worth? What does his assistant general manager worth? You have to be able to staff, number one. Number two, you don't think NFL owners Just talk to each other about like, Yo, don't set a precedent where we're paying guys- Zaz, you tell me the Raiders paid Chip Kelly $6 million a year.

That's where the advantages are. If you're a rich person, you can out buy a coach, and these guys are getting unreasonable salaries.

Marginally. You don't go quadruple what the highest paid guy is.

But if Steven Ross says, I don't care. I just want to win. I'm old. I can't take my money with me when I die, why does Steven Ross care?

I First of all, I believe he has ears, so it's not just his money, he dies, and now it's all gone. Number one. Number two, again, you're speaking like a fan's ass. You're like, If I had that money, I'd do it. He's not going to do it, man. What do you want? At this point, The only way we could settle this is, let's see how much Harbaugh gets paid. If he gets paid anything more than $30 million, I will concede.

All right, no. Let's not get caught up in the absurdity of what the number has to be.

Because it is absurd.

Yes, of course. The point, yes, Of course, the point remains on what Zaslow is saying is, as we speak right now, what we did not think would be so 10 minutes ago is when Jim Harbaugh became available, all of a sudden... I'm sorry, John Harbaugh. I'm going to make that mistake a lot. When John Harbaugh became available, 18 seasons, I gave this stat yesterday, 12 playoff seasons in 18 years with some different quarterbacks, 12 playoff seasons in 18 years is more than Arizona has in 106 years. So he's a Covited Free Agent. The only way to get him, the only way, is for the Dolphins to have a more advertising job than the other seven teams. When you got Jackson Dart, when you've got young quarterbacks, there were greater, easier paths to success. The only thing the Dolphins offer that no one else can offer is, Hey, blank slate, all the power, all the money. You go get them, Harbaugh. Ravens did you a favor. You are the highest paid coach in the game because you're available. And sorry, Andy Reid, you are paid less than that now. Why are the Dolphins the only team that can offer that?

All of those things. All of the of no quarterback. You can pick your own GM, you can be the GM, and we will give you the most money. That's not everyone else.

It's their only advantage.

Not everyone else is in the same desperate position of Steven Ross at the end of his life.

Let me ask you guys a question. A couple of years ago, the Broncos were sold to the Walton family. They're hundreds of billions of dollars. They had an opening, and Sean Payton was a guy with a name and everything. They went aggressive for Sean Payton. They gave him control. They paid him. They didn't pay him $50 million. They didn't even make him the highest paid coach. They paid him a lot. He's one of the top five highest paid coaches. But again, there is a realm of reason, especially when it comes to coaching and front office. You guys might idolize this. I'm going to tell you right now, billionaires, they still look at it as like, Well, that guy doing all the winning, pointing at the quarterback or pointing at the star player. They're like, You're just a guy. Yeah, if you're not the right guy, just get someone else in here. There's There's no part of them that looks at it as like, No, this is my man, and I have to go down with the ship with him. Again, Ty Lou is widely recognized as one of the best coaches, best Xs and O's guys, best ETO guys, best communicators, former player, won a Championship as a player, won a Championship as a head coach.

Steve Ballmer is worth more than the next 15 NBA owners together. Fifteen, right? When it came time, the Ty Lou was like, All right, let me get paid. Steve Ballmer was like, Oh, let me see Look at what the market says. He actually had to go out and shop around because it's like, Really? Then it's like, Oh, should I go to the Suns or whatever? Then they paid him. Even then, they paid him, but not an exhortative amount.

Harbault is already making 17 million a year. Zazla, where are you on all this?

Yeah, I think the one example that I would give is because there's no reason for Harbault to want the Dolphins' job. So obviously, you're trying to make an offer he can't refuse. And the one example I would give, like Deshawn Watson didn't want to play for the Cleveland Browns. And back then, giving $250 million guaranteed, by the way, with a salary cap, but given $250 million guaranteed was unheard of. But it's what they had to do to convince him to play quarterback for them. That's the example I'd give.

Yeah, but the example you gave is a player. And owners will pay players because there's an element of that's an irreplaceable talent right there. They look at coaches and front office people as, All right, so I'll get another guy.

Zazlo, I'm telling you right now, if you got out in front of the report, Harbault of the Dolphins, everything that just happened here sniffs of that. Mcdaniel was not wronged here at the end. He was a 500 coach. And the way that we turned on him and the quarterback is ugly, including that there's a CTE issue in the middle of that, and it ends up trampling both of them. The ascetite nature of what it is that undercut this dolphin season, head injury included, makes it so that everybody is dumped and they start all over. I think it'd be a pretty easy report to say Given the histories at Michigan, given the histories between the families, the Harbaughs, that what just happened today is because whatever's already needed to be in place is being put in place because the dolphins are going to go so hard at this that they're not actually not going to get him. They're going to get him. I'm guessing that Zaslow could report that now and be right in a couple of days. As soon as they start feeding it to the insiders what the money is actually going to be.

Look, I'm here in Atlanta with ESPN today. I'm on at three o'clock. I'm doing an afternoon drive with Amber Wilson. You better believe that I am leading with that. I'm going to be right in front of this thing here. Put my name on the crawl. I'm telling you in advance- Well, then do it now.

What are you doing? We can't have it then. Just go ahead and report it now. No. Oh, yeah. No. Do you have it? What do you mean Oh, yeah. I don't know if you have it yet. Have you done any reporting on this? He's got to workshop it.

I got to make a couple of calls, all right? I'm a real journalist here. I don't just throw things out all willy-nilly. I mean, heck, a couple of days ago, someone tipped you off about Trey Young and the Washington Wizards. I don't necessarily have to say You guys know who it is. But I got to make a couple of calls here. This news broke after I was already on with you. But I'm telling you right now, this passes the smell test. The dolphins, they're going after hardball, and I think they're going to offer him an incredible amount of money. Now, that's just my opinion. But I'm going to make a couple of calls here. We'll see.

He's got to do some work. He's got his reading light behind him over there by the bed. It's on because he's got to go and do some reading.

Zaz, that report needs to be for Metalark Media. That report cannot be for ESPN radio at three o'clock. You work now at Metalark Media. You're going to the Beach Bowl. You're at the Beach Bowl right now. You can't bring it here. You're at the wrong game. You're at the incorrect game. Tell us about the sad hotel. Tell us about the sad vibe there. The Peach Bowl is gross.

Okay, the hotel is not sad. This is actually my favorite hotel that we stay in every time we come to Atlanta. This is the best hotel. We're at the Hyatt Regency. This hotel is awesome.

Just put it out there.

Why would you do that? You're bold.

I shouldn't do that. Who cares?

Hundreds of people are going to be calling you. What's your man? Are you an idiot?

Whatever. I'm a man of the people. You want to come say hi to your boy. What's your room number? I'm not going to drink.

Call the front desk, everybody. Hyatt Regency in Atlanta. Hey, can I talk to Jonathan Zaslow?

I stay under an alias. I don't have to worry about that. You can't just call my room. Don't worry about that.

Can I tell you something, though? Jack Spade in a very tight window there. Jack Spade, are you aware? We'll get to that in a second. Are you aware that Roy... Non de plume. Are you aware that Roy checks in? No.

He checks in as King Spade?

No, as John.

No, it's better. Even better.

Jack Spade. Jack Spade. I'm going to get you, sucker. Don Levatard. John Zaslow, how you love that catch Bad news for opposing teams in the Triple A. Stugatz. These are smiles till the bloods are clutch again, clutch again, clutch again. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Roy, you're making a reference that a Philistine like Zaz would never get. He hasn't even seen Dodgeball. You think he's seen I'm going to get you a sucker? Absolutely not.

I don't care about Dodgeball, man. It's been built up too much.

I'm not watching it. I'm looking at a sucker right now. I'm looking at a sucker right now on my screen.

Man, you're lucky I'm here at the Hyrie. It's not studio.

What do you do on flights? I asked Dan this right before we came on. What do you do on a plane? It's a two-hour flight to Atlanta, right? From Miami?

Oh, hour 10, much shorter.

What are you doing? What are you doing in an hour 10?

I was watching TV on my iPad.

What were you watching? You're watching children's show?

I'm actually in the middle of a binge rewatch of The Sopranos.

Could have been watching Dodgeball.

It's a good rewatch.

I don't want to rewatch something else. It's a good rewatch. It is, but don't lie.

It's It's not the best of the rewatches, actually. No, it's not the best. I'm thinking of going to third time. The best of the rewatches? The best of the rewatches? Third time.

Sir, I've been rewatching Family Ties. We didn't give that show enough credit.

Wow. Michael P.

Keaton? Michael P. Keaton. Alex P. Keaton. Michael J. Fox.

Yes, like I said.

Sucker. Okay, that's a terrible reference. Really? The Sopranos?

Family Ties? You're not respecting Family Ties. Respect yourself, Dan Leventhal. Oops, shalalala. Respect yourself.

Oups, there goes another rubber tree plant came from the 1959 winner for Best Original Song at the Oscars. It's High Hopes by Frank Sinatra, which he later rerecorded to be the actual official campaign song of the John F. Kennedy campaign for President in 1960. Can you give me the lyrics, though? I I don't want any of the information about the history of the song. That's how I hope for it. I wanted... Which was the bigger pregame show, Zaz? You never gave us what your actual thought was.

Well, yeah, because it was breaking news with Mike McDaniel. The first one comes off as celebratory. My phone's ringing in the hotel room. Somebody's calling me.

Someone already got your phone.

Somebody just called the airport.

He's an idiot. He's a moron. Sure. Go answer it. Go talk to a face. Guarante, he's a listener. Where you mind, would you? Why would you? Is it wireless? Does he still think he's anonymous? Hold on.

Speak loudly. It is wireless.

He's not going to be able to bring the phone.

It's wireless, yeah.

I brought the phone with me. They hung up before I got there, so it's right next to me in case. Okay.

But now, of course, somebody's going to you down here before the end of it.

Now they all are because they saw it works.

Yeah. I guess, yeah, calls with Zazlo.

How'd they figure out my alias?

Zazlo, I'd be totally fine going live streaming right up now to the biggest game in the history of games tonight because we should be live streaming with calls and callers. Callers on Zazlo's phone, finding him at the Hyatt Regency. Why are you at the Peach Bowl? Zazla, you're at the wrong game doing the wrong-I know. You're doing the wrong thing.

Well, look, we set our schedule for College Football Campus tour before the season starts. And we were always coming to the Peach Bowl and then the national Championship. And once the tournament bracket came out, it's like, shit, the hurricanes on the other side of the bracket. So, yeah, I don't really have control of it. But I love Atlanta. I like coming to Atlanta, so it's okay. I'm going to be watching tonight. I'll be watching at the bar getting loose.

How do you like that airport?

It's fine. Can I tell you? I had such a disgusting experience flying over here. Can I tell you guys? Yes, please. So you know how you go You go on Twitter, you go on social media, they're always these stories you see people post videos or pictures on the airplane with people who take their shoes off and shit, and they'll put their feet up on the seating front of them. I got to tell you, I fly a lot, and I've never encountered an experience like that. I've never had really a bad flying experience until yesterday. I'm sitting first class, of course. I'm sitting in the very front row on first class, and the slob who is next to me, but across the aisle, it's not immediately next to me. Him and his slob son, they're sitting on the aisle across from me, and buddy's got his shoes off, no socks, the long, gross toenails, the entire flight. He's got him up against the wall because you're in the first row. I don't understand people, man. And by the way, they're always slobs, right? It's never a good look. It's never a handsome guy.

What difference does that make?

It makes a difference. It makes a difference.

What do you mean it makes a difference? A handsome guy- He's using the sounds like a neffle baby. So wait a minute. What you're alleging, let me see I understand your- Not alleging anything. I want to understand the nature of your allegation because it's not hard to say, Hey, barefoot guy in the plane, don't do that. But what you're saying is it's always a slob. It's never a guy in a suit who looks presidential and also has decided to take off and show you shoes that are less talony than these feet.

The slob dad is always an entitled guy, a real narcissist.

Oh, and he's on the phone being all loud and shit before take off. He's a slob, Dan.

Hoped it up for his son to get a job with his buddy, probably.

His son was like, 400 pounds right next to him. I'm telling you. I guess if he was right next to me, I'd have to say something. I guess because it was across the aisle, because that's a delicate situation, right? I mean, where if I say something and now the rest of the flight, it's like I started a confrontation. Did you give him looks, though? You can kill him with looks. Oh, yeah, of course.

Thinning hair. All right, so hold on a second. Except for one of the sons, he's fine.

At Lebitard show, do you tell the guy in first class with his talon feet out on the wall?

He did not belong in first class.

Kick him out.

What are you doing? He lost me when he had a kid in first class.

How old is this kid? I don't like seeing like a- Well, I said he was like 400 pounds.

Okay, well, wait a minute. You're being a classist. You're being a kid.

He's old enough to have his own child.

Okay, so he was old. I hate seeing a six-year-old in first class.

Perhaps the wife that he I'll kick this coverage with.

You're being a classist and a body-shamer. You're being a classist and a body-shamer. Yes, Amina is. When you sit here and you say, 400 pounds, slob, on the phone, loud, shouldn't be in first class. You shouldn't be in first class.

No, I'm very well behaved, all right? I deserve to be in first class. If you're the type of person who goes on a plane like that, you don't belong in first class. It's disgusting.

I picture this guy on a podcast right now being like, This slob next to me is watching Sopranos.

Yeah, that's what I want. I want to hear... See what? I want to hear the other guy say, I want to hear the podcast of that guy, probably with his son. Maybe his son's a co-host, maybe he's a producer, maybe they do musical bits. They're talking about Zazlo as this disgusting guy with a soda drinker's body in a bay of head watching Sopranos.

I can't believe that you publicly said at Levent Show on Twitter, Juju, that Family Ties is as good a rewatch as the Sopranos.

Respect yourself down. Have you rewatched Family Ties?

I actually dabble in something like that in Miami Vice.

Listen, I'll go- You're not going to compare Miami.

Dabble in something like that. Yeah, it's nothing like that. When I need 20 minutes of something fast, and I'm not thinking about anything, and I'm bored about streaming, Family Ties and something like Miami Vice, I'll check in on my childhood occasionally. The Jefferson I'll go watch 20 Minutes of family.

Not Family Ties.

All in the family, all in the family. But to say that it airs as a rewatch in comparison to the Sopranos is as bad a take as you've ever had.

Not enough F-bombs for you, Dan Lebitard? I need someone to get off for me to feel like I'm watching good television.

It's like saying, like Amine saying, Oh, I do cocaine, and you saying, I dabble in something like that with caffeine.

Don't put them in the same class. Family ties. Great show. Beginning to end. Beginning to end. They never fell off. Can you see that on Sopranos? How many people were upset? Now everyone wants to do revisionist history. When that finale air, boy was America pissed.

I'm in the middle of the part in the show where Carmella and Tony aren't together, and I've realized I don't like that. It makes me uncomfortable. I like when they're together. I don't like when they're- You like when they're together and he's cheating on her constantly.

Just like I like when Alex was with Ellen, when they broke up, it hurt me and my feelings. But When we get a young Courtney Cox comes in as... What was her name? Lauren? What was her name? Roy, you know these things.

No, I do not know her name. I love the history of the Sopranos. One of the things that isn't known about the Sopranos is how much David Chase had to fight in order to get all of that stuff done, including whenever it is the end of the first season or the beginning of the second, where he has Tony actually murder someone, the feeling was that they were going to end the show right there because you could not have someone on television who was an actual murderer and have anyone celebrate the show, want to watch the show. It changed the way the television was made for the next 20 years.

Yeah, wasn't he the first anti-hero?

I don't know if he was the first or not, but he was given the credit for being the first because people were rooting for somebody who was a clear murderer and then end up spauning the ability to do Breaking Bad and all these other anti-heros where people were enjoying that stuff.

Do you guys know why that is? Why it's like, Oh, we can't make the hero be a You guys know why that is, right? Because years and years and years ago, when the start of movie making in America, they had Scarface. The original Scarface came out and the government flipped out. They go, Oh, we can't have this. They created this thing called the Hayes Commission. Warren G. Hayes. Warren G. Harding had the Hayes Commission, and they basically wrote this whole rule book for the good guy always has to win. Bad people who do bad deals have to have comeupp. You can't show an open mouth kiss. All of rules were written. And for 25, 30 years, every TV show, every movie had to follow those rules. This is an American invention, the idea of good guy has to win, right? It wasn't until the '60s where the movie industry said, Hey, we'll create our own thing called the MPAA, and we will self-police because self-policing is better than having the government tell you what to do. That's why all that stuff happens. Now, the crazy thing is, even though those rules don't exist anymore, storytelling for decades still followed it out of habit because we were like, How can we have a good guy be bad?

And now the moment someone did it, it was like, Oh, this is so revolutionary. But really it isn't because if you go back to the '30s, the bad guy was.

This is why he says Family Ties is revolutionary because Michael J. Fox was a loud Republican child.

Do you know what the premise was of the show? Zaz, you're a TV guy. What was the premise of Family Ties?

The mother was supposed to be the star of the show, but Michael J. Fox ended up stealing it, and they built the show. He became the big star. They built the show around him.

You did a great Steven A. Smith where I asked you a question, you answered a completely different question. I said, What was the premise? Not who was the star of the show? Meredith Baxter-Bernie, by the way, put some respect on her name.

I mean, the premise was a family everyday life. What do you mean it was the premise? No, the parents were hippies.

The parents were hippies.

In that generation. The kid was pretending what America's future would become by being a Republican child.

Neocon. He was a neocon. It was like, How could we have given birth to a neocon? That's the show.

Did he try to fuck his mom in that one, too, like in Back to the Future? Jesus. Jesus is the appropriate response. I'm going to sorry to do this to you, to Jeremy. Minor penalty, two minutes. Personal foul. Personal and foul. We saw somebody tracking that Jeremy was our leading penalty minutes person last year. He's a goon. He can't get enough. He can't get enough. Peachbowl, Zaz. Peachbowl, see you later.

See you. Bye, guys.